I’m going to start today with a question and I’d love for you to really give it
and I’d love for you to really give it
and I’d love for you to really give it some thought my question is this when is
some thought my question is this when is
some thought my question is this when is the last time you said to yourself this
the last time you said to yourself this
the last time you said to yourself this is going to be a bad day
is going to be a bad day
is going to be a bad day in other words when’s the last time you
in other words when’s the last time you
in other words when’s the last time you felt the weight of life crashing down
felt the weight of life crashing down
felt the weight of life crashing down upon you take a moment and think about
upon you take a moment and think about
upon you take a moment and think about that hopefully you have your moment in
that hopefully you have your moment in
that hopefully you have your moment in your mind or you’re close to having it
your mind or you’re close to having it
your mind or you’re close to having it in your mind because I have a couple
in your mind because I have a couple
in your mind because I have a couple follow-up questions for you the first
follow-up questions for you the first
follow-up questions for you the first follow-up question I have is what
follow-up question I have is what
follow-up question I have is what happened what happened to you to cause
happened what happened to you to cause
happened what happened to you to cause yourself to think this is gonna be a bad
yourself to think this is gonna be a bad
yourself to think this is gonna be a bad day perhaps it was pulling into the
day perhaps it was pulling into the
day perhaps it was pulling into the office and spilling coffee all over
office and spilling coffee all over
office and spilling coffee all over yourself or maybe it was showing up to
yourself or maybe it was showing up to
yourself or maybe it was showing up to class and finding out there’s a pop quiz
class and finding out there’s a pop quiz
class and finding out there’s a pop quiz when you forgot to do the readings last
when you forgot to do the readings last
when you forgot to do the readings last night where maybe it’s a recent medical
night where maybe it’s a recent medical
night where maybe it’s a recent medical diagnosis you received what was it for
diagnosis you received what was it for
diagnosis you received what was it for you that happened and my second
you that happened and my second
you that happened and my second follow-up question is when when did you
follow-up question is when when did you
follow-up question is when when did you know your day was going to be bad if I
know your day was going to be bad if I
know your day was going to be bad if I had to take a guess it was probably
had to take a guess it was probably
had to take a guess it was probably before you even got to work or got to
before you even got to work or got to
before you even got to work or got to school and for some of you it was before
school and for some of you it was before
school and for some of you it was before you even got out of bed which brings me
you even got out of bed which brings me
you even got out of bed which brings me to my third and most important follow-up
to my third and most important follow-up
to my third and most important follow-up question which is how did you know how
question which is how did you know how
question which is how did you know how did you know that your day was going to
did you know that your day was going to
did you know that your day was going to turn out badly
turn out badly
turn out badly I actually had the answer for you and
I actually had the answer for you and
I actually had the answer for you and the answer is a simple one you didn’t
the answer is a simple one you didn’t
the answer is a simple one you didn’t you had no way of knowing how your day
you had no way of knowing how your day
you had no way of knowing how your day was going to turn out and yet you had
was going to turn out and yet you had
was going to turn out and yet you had already decided so why is that well
already decided so why is that well
already decided so why is that well that’s because the human brain loves
that’s because the human brain loves
that’s because the human brain loves assumptions we like to take things that
assumptions we like to take things that
assumptions we like to take things that happen to us recently and assume how our
happen to us recently and assume how our
happen to us recently and assume how our future is going to turn out based on
future is going to turn out based on
future is going to turn out based on those things and for those of us that
those things and for those of us that
those things and for those of us that get caught up in our bad day moments we
get caught up in our bad day moments we
get caught up in our bad day moments we get caught up in our negative
get caught up in our negative
get caught up in our negative assumptions and if we start to let these
assumptions and if we start to let these
assumptions and if we start to let these negative assumptions build and build we
negative assumptions build and build we
negative assumptions build and build we can run into quite a few problems in my
can run into quite a few problems in my
can run into quite a few problems in my work with people with anxiety and
work with people with anxiety and
work with people with anxiety and depression
depression
depression I hear about negative assumptions all
I hear about negative assumptions all
I hear about negative assumptions all the time I hear things like Maria I just
the time I hear things like Maria I just
the time I hear things like Maria I just know this meetings not gonna go well or
know this meetings not gonna go well or
know this meetings not gonna go well or I’m not gonna be able to do this project
I’m not gonna be able to do this project
I’m not gonna be able to do this project at my job I just know it all right here
at my job I just know it all right here
at my job I just know it all right here things like Maria this is gonna be a bad
things like Maria this is gonna be a bad
things like Maria this is gonna be a bad year for me I can feel it
year for me I can feel it
year for me I can feel it and for some I hear things like what’s
and for some I hear things like what’s
and for some I hear things like what’s the point in life if everything’s been
the point in life if everything’s been
the point in life if everything’s been so bad for me so far I just know it’s
so bad for me so far I just know it’s
so bad for me so far I just know it’s going to continue to be bad those are
going to continue to be bad those are
going to continue to be bad those are some really tough questions people start
some really tough questions people start
some really tough questions people start assuming because of negative assumptions
assuming because of negative assumptions
assuming because of negative assumptions so go back to that thought I asked you
so go back to that thought I asked you
so go back to that thought I asked you to think about for your bad day moment
to think about for your bad day moment
to think about for your bad day moment because every time we have these bad day
because every time we have these bad day
because every time we have these bad day moments and feelings there’s something
moments and feelings there’s something
moments and feelings there’s something that we want to change so what was it
that we want to change so what was it
that we want to change so what was it for you you wanted to change perhaps you
for you you wanted to change perhaps you
for you you wanted to change perhaps you wanted to change something with your
wanted to change something with your
wanted to change something with your family maybe it looks something like I
family maybe it looks something like I
family maybe it looks something like I wish my kids listen to me better or
wish my kids listen to me better or
wish my kids listen to me better or I wish my parents saw me as the
I wish my parents saw me as the
I wish my parents saw me as the independent adult that I am or maybe for
independent adult that I am or maybe for
independent adult that I am or maybe for some of you it didn’t involve your
some of you it didn’t involve your
some of you it didn’t involve your family maybe it had to do with your job
family maybe it had to do with your job
family maybe it had to do with your job or your friends I wish I had a job that
or your friends I wish I had a job that
or your friends I wish I had a job that paid more money I wish my manager could
paid more money I wish my manager could
paid more money I wish my manager could see my full potential I wish my friends
see my full potential I wish my friends
see my full potential I wish my friends called me more often where maybe for
called me more often where maybe for
called me more often where maybe for some of you the change you want is a bit
some of you the change you want is a bit
some of you the change you want is a bit bigger and it has to do with your
bigger and it has to do with your
bigger and it has to do with your community maybe it’s something like I
community maybe it’s something like I
community maybe it’s something like I wish we had better roads I wish our
wish we had better roads I wish our
wish we had better roads I wish our public schools were better for our kids
public schools were better for our kids
public schools were better for our kids maybe still the change you need it for
maybe still the change you need it for
maybe still the change you need it for your life was even bigger than any of
your life was even bigger than any of
your life was even bigger than any of these maybe it has to do with the things
these maybe it has to do with the things
these maybe it has to do with the things going on in the world today maybe some
going on in the world today maybe some
going on in the world today maybe some of the stuff that we’ve been hearing
of the stuff that we’ve been hearing
of the stuff that we’ve been hearing about on the news the thing is no matter
about on the news the thing is no matter
about on the news the thing is no matter what it was that you wanted to change
what it was that you wanted to change
what it was that you wanted to change none of this can change until you first
none of this can change until you first
none of this can change until you first change you because the only thing we
change you because the only thing we
change you because the only thing we really have the ability to change is
really have the ability to change is
really have the ability to change is ourselves and if we can figure out how
ourselves and if we can figure out how
ourselves and if we can figure out how to change ourselves to a more positive
to change ourselves to a more positive
to change ourselves to a more positive mindset then this begins to create a
mindset then this begins to create a
mindset then this begins to create a ripple effect into our family our job
ripple effect into our family our job
ripple effect into our family our job our friends into our community and yes
our friends into our community and yes
our friends into our community and yes even into the world it all has to start
even into the world it all has to start
even into the world it all has to start with you first so how do we go about
with you first so how do we go about
with you first so how do we go about doing this well one of the ways we can
doing this well one of the ways we can
doing this well one of the ways we can do this is by following a few steps now
do this is by following a few steps now
do this is by following a few steps now I’ve outlined four steps that can really
I’ve outlined four steps that can really
I’ve outlined four steps that can really start to create this positive change
start to create this positive change
start to create this positive change within you and so step number one I
within you and so step number one I
within you and so step number one I simply want you to notice so the next
simply want you to notice so the next
simply want you to notice so the next time you wake up and you think to
time you wake up and you think to
time you wake up and you think to yourself this is going to be a bad day
yourself this is going to be a bad day
yourself this is going to be a bad day notice it that’s all I want for step
notice it that’s all I want for step
notice it that’s all I want for step number one or the next time you think to
number one or the next time you think to
number one or the next time you think to yourself before you go into that meeting
yourself before you go into that meeting
yourself before you go into that meeting at work this I just feel it it’s not
at work this I just feel it it’s not
at work this I just feel it it’s not gonna go well notice it because then
gonna go well notice it because then
gonna go well notice it because then step number two is I want you to start
step number two is I want you to start
step number two is I want you to start learning to question yourself question
learning to question yourself question
learning to question yourself question these thoughts question these feelings
these thoughts question these feelings
these thoughts question these feelings that you have ask yourself am i trying
that you have ask yourself am i trying
that you have ask yourself am i trying to predict the future right now am i
to predict the future right now am i
to predict the future right now am i assuming something because remember none
assuming something because remember none
assuming something because remember none of us can actually predict the future we
of us can actually predict the future we
of us can actually predict the future we can take some pretty good guesses what
can take some pretty good guesses what
can take some pretty good guesses what we don’t know for certain and then step
we don’t know for certain and then step
we don’t know for certain and then step number three find your positive
number three find your positive
number three find your positive alternatives to that negative moment
alternatives to that negative moment
alternatives to that negative moment that you’re in so let’s go back and
that you’re in so let’s go back and
that you’re in so let’s go back and revisit some of those examples I had
revisit some of those examples I had
revisit some of those examples I had mentioned previously
mentioned previously
mentioned previously so say you pull up to work and you end
so say you pull up to work and you end
so say you pull up to work and you end up spilling coffee all over yourself and
up spilling coffee all over yourself and
up spilling coffee all over yourself and you think how is there a positive
you think how is there a positive
you think how is there a positive alternative to this well what is that’s
alternative to this well what is that’s
alternative to this well what is that’s the only negative thing that happens to
the only negative thing that happens to
the only negative thing that happens to you all day what if when you get into
you all day what if when you get into
you all day what if when you get into work today’s the day you finally get
work today’s the day you finally get
work today’s the day you finally get that promotion you had been hoping for
that promotion you had been hoping for
that promotion you had been hoping for and overall when you go to bed you
and overall when you go to bed you
and overall when you go to bed you realize this is one of the best days
realize this is one of the best days
realize this is one of the best days you’ve had in a long time what about if
you’ve had in a long time what about if
you’ve had in a long time what about if you receive a really difficult medical
you receive a really difficult medical
you receive a really difficult medical diagnosis and you find yourself thinking
diagnosis and you find yourself thinking
diagnosis and you find yourself thinking there’s no way I can get through this
there’s no way I can get through this
there’s no way I can get through this I just can’t a positive alternative is I
I just can’t a positive alternative is I
I just can’t a positive alternative is I can and I will get through this what
can and I will get through this what
can and I will get through this what about for showing up to class and
about for showing up to class and
about for showing up to class and realizing there’s that pop quiz on the
realizing there’s that pop quiz on the
realizing there’s that pop quiz on the readings you forgot to do last night
readings you forgot to do last night
readings you forgot to do last night well positive alternative say if you
well positive alternative say if you
well positive alternative say if you think about what the lecture was last
think about what the lecture was last
think about what the lecture was last time you take some really good educated
time you take some really good educated
time you take some really good educated guesses maybe you’re gonna get through
guesses maybe you’re gonna get through
guesses maybe you’re gonna get through that pop quiz just fine plus it’s a
that pop quiz just fine plus it’s a
that pop quiz just fine plus it’s a learning lesson for next
learning lesson for next
learning lesson for next making sure you do those readings and
making sure you do those readings and
making sure you do those readings and then step number four which to me is the
then step number four which to me is the
then step number four which to me is the most important step of all this step is
most important step of all this step is
most important step of all this step is gratefulness thinking about the things
gratefulness thinking about the things
gratefulness thinking about the things in your life that are positive already
in your life that are positive already
in your life that are positive already things that you can already be thankful
things that you can already be thankful
things that you can already be thankful for what are they for you maybe for some
for what are they for you maybe for some
for what are they for you maybe for some of us it’s the fact that we have very
of us it’s the fact that we have very
of us it’s the fact that we have very supportive family and friends maybe it’s
supportive family and friends maybe it’s
supportive family and friends maybe it’s the fact that we have our health for
the fact that we have our health for
the fact that we have our health for those of us wishing we had a different
those of us wishing we had a different
those of us wishing we had a different job well we can be grateful for the fact
job well we can be grateful for the fact
job well we can be grateful for the fact we have a job right now and we’re able
we have a job right now and we’re able
we have a job right now and we’re able to pay our bills and if you’re finding
to pay our bills and if you’re finding
to pay our bills and if you’re finding it really hard to think about things to
it really hard to think about things to
it really hard to think about things to be grateful for but I’m going to give
be grateful for but I’m going to give
be grateful for but I’m going to give you one you can use any day anytime and
you one you can use any day anytime and
you one you can use any day anytime and that is I woke up today
that is I woke up today
that is I woke up today and I have a new day to try and make the
and I have a new day to try and make the
and I have a new day to try and make the change I want to make my life better now
change I want to make my life better now
change I want to make my life better now the thing about these four steps I’ve
the thing about these four steps I’ve
the thing about these four steps I’ve talked about today is I’m going to need
talked about today is I’m going to need
talked about today is I’m going to need you to practice them before you need
you to practice them before you need
you to practice them before you need them so what do I mean by that I mean
them so what do I mean by that I mean
them so what do I mean by that I mean before you even find yourself feeling
before you even find yourself feeling
before you even find yourself feeling like today is gonna be a bad day I want
like today is gonna be a bad day I want
like today is gonna be a bad day I want you to have gone through these steps
you to have gone through these steps
you to have gone through these steps think about when we do fire drills or
think about when we do fire drills or
think about when we do fire drills or tornado drills we don’t do these drills
tornado drills we don’t do these drills
tornado drills we don’t do these drills when there’s actually a fire that would
when there’s actually a fire that would
when there’s actually a fire that would be total chaos we need to know what to
be total chaos we need to know what to
be total chaos we need to know what to do before we need it and so by
do before we need it and so by
do before we need it and so by practicing these steps especially
practicing these steps especially
practicing these steps especially gratefulness when we have those bad day
gratefulness when we have those bad day
gratefulness when we have those bad day moments we know exactly what it is we
moments we know exactly what it is we
moments we know exactly what it is we need to do and how to do it so when you
need to do and how to do it so when you
need to do and how to do it so when you find yourself feeling like life is just
find yourself feeling like life is just
find yourself feeling like life is just crushing down upon you
crushing down upon you
crushing down upon you and there’s no way you’re gonna be able
and there’s no way you’re gonna be able
and there’s no way you’re gonna be able to get through this moment remember you
to get through this moment remember you
to get through this moment remember you have a choice you can either continue to
have a choice you can either continue to
have a choice you can either continue to stay miserable or you can choose to
stay miserable or you can choose to
stay miserable or you can choose to change your mindset to a more positive
change your mindset to a more positive
change your mindset to a more positive one and end up like this thank you
one and end up like this thank you
one and end up like this thank you [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment