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Perseverance: The Art of Hardship | Bernadette Lagman | TEDxSeattleUniversity


[Applause]

[Applause] alright how’s everyone doing today well

alright how’s everyone doing today well

alright how’s everyone doing today well I’d like to start and thank each and

I’d like to start and thank each and

I’d like to start and thank each and every one of you for coming out today

every one of you for coming out today

every one of you for coming out today and before we get started I’d like to

and before we get started I’d like to

and before we get started I’d like to make a special dedication to someone who

make a special dedication to someone who

make a special dedication to someone who passed away recently my uncle who truly

passed away recently my uncle who truly

passed away recently my uncle who truly demonstrated what it takes to persevere

you are not good enough you will never

you are not good enough you will never make it you should just give up

we’ve all heard these words in one form

we’ve all heard these words in one form or another in times of difficulty

or another in times of difficulty

or another in times of difficulty sometimes from others and other times

sometimes from others and other times

sometimes from others and other times from our self but the true difference

from our self but the true difference

from our self but the true difference isn’t the degree or severity of our

isn’t the degree or severity of our

isn’t the degree or severity of our circumstances but rather in what we

circumstances but rather in what we

circumstances but rather in what we choose to do when faced with life’s

choose to do when faced with life’s

choose to do when faced with life’s challenges what are that means to give

challenges what are that means to give

challenges what are that means to give up or to persevere today if you’ll allow

up or to persevere today if you’ll allow

up or to persevere today if you’ll allow me to I’d like to share three personal

me to I’d like to share three personal

me to I’d like to share three personal experiences of hardships I’d faced that

experiences of hardships I’d faced that

experiences of hardships I’d faced that made me decide I wanted to be someone

made me decide I wanted to be someone

made me decide I wanted to be someone who chooses to persevere and with

who chooses to persevere and with

who chooses to persevere and with whatever you’re going through whatever

whatever you’re going through whatever

whatever you’re going through whatever you’ve been through and whatever you may

you’ve been through and whatever you may

you’ve been through and whatever you may face tomorrow

face tomorrow

face tomorrow I hope there’s something you can take

I hope there’s something you can take

I hope there’s something you can take away from my message now let me get a

away from my message now let me get a

away from my message now let me get a show of hands how many of you have heard

show of hands how many of you have heard

show of hands how many of you have heard of Stockton all right that’s more than I

of Stockton all right that’s more than I

of Stockton all right that’s more than I practiced to count well for those of you

practiced to count well for those of you

practiced to count well for those of you who don’t know about Stockton or if the

who don’t know about Stockton or if the

who don’t know about Stockton or if the picture doesn’t peen itself

picture doesn’t peen itself

picture doesn’t peen itself Stockton was dubbed the second most

Stockton was dubbed the second most

Stockton was dubbed the second most dangerous city in California known for

dangerous city in California known for

dangerous city in California known for its skyrocketing gang violence plethora

its skyrocketing gang violence plethora

its skyrocketing gang violence plethora foreclosure rates and very limited

foreclosure rates and very limited

foreclosure rates and very limited opportunities especially those

opportunities especially those

opportunities especially those concerning advancing into higher

concerning advancing into higher

concerning advancing into higher education or entering the job market but

education or entering the job market but

education or entering the job market but for many people like me and my loved

for many people like me and my loved

for many people like me and my loved ones this was home and this hardship is

ones this was home and this hardship is

ones this was home and this hardship is important to me in particular because it

important to me in particular because it

important to me in particular because it taught me that no matter how limited my

taught me that no matter how limited my

taught me that no matter how limited my resources may seem that I am NOT defined

resources may seem that I am NOT defined

resources may seem that I am NOT defined north nor

north nor

north nor affected by my circumstances and I’ll

affected by my circumstances and I’ll

affected by my circumstances and I’ll never forget that might the day that my

never forget that might the day that my

never forget that might the day that my life took a shift on an ordinary

life took a shift on an ordinary

life took a shift on an ordinary Saturday afternoon I was laundry

Saturday afternoon I was laundry

Saturday afternoon I was laundry shopping at the mall when I happened to

shopping at the mall when I happened to

shopping at the mall when I happened to bump into my former middle school

bump into my former middle school

bump into my former middle school teacher Miss Smith Miss Smith and I were

teacher Miss Smith Miss Smith and I were

teacher Miss Smith Miss Smith and I were catching up on our daily lives when she

catching up on our daily lives when she

catching up on our daily lives when she later on informed me that she took on a

later on informed me that she took on a

later on informed me that she took on a new role at a local high school called

new role at a local high school called

new role at a local high school called middle college middle college she

middle college middle college she

middle college middle college she explained was the program geared to give

explained was the program geared to give

explained was the program geared to give high school students the opportunity to

high school students the opportunity to

high school students the opportunity to take community college courses to

take community college courses to

take community college courses to advance into university she urged me to

advance into university she urged me to

advance into university she urged me to apply however naturally I was hesitant

apply however naturally I was hesitant

apply however naturally I was hesitant at first after all I wanted nothing to

at first after all I wanted nothing to

at first after all I wanted nothing to do with Stockton let alone be tied down

do with Stockton let alone be tied down

do with Stockton let alone be tied down to it for another four years however

to it for another four years however

to it for another four years however four years down the line I not only

four years down the line I not only

four years down the line I not only graduated with my high school diploma

graduated with my high school diploma

graduated with my high school diploma thank goodness but six associate degrees

thank goodness but six associate degrees

thank goodness but six associate degrees that allowed me to graduate University a

that allowed me to graduate University a

that allowed me to graduate University a whole year early now this may or may not

whole year early now this may or may not

whole year early now this may or may not be significant to some of you but for

be significant to some of you but for

be significant to some of you but for those of you who have grown up in

those of you who have grown up in

those of you who have grown up in disadvantaged communities filled with

disadvantaged communities filled with

disadvantaged communities filled with negativity and resistance to change

negativity and resistance to change

negativity and resistance to change getting into university was a huge

getting into university was a huge

getting into university was a huge milestone in creating a change in our

milestone in creating a change in our

milestone in creating a change in our lives and I invite you whatever

lives and I invite you whatever

lives and I invite you whatever situation that may seem impossible to

situation that may seem impossible to

situation that may seem impossible to consider seeing every opportunity

consider seeing every opportunity

consider seeing every opportunity big or small which leads to my next

big or small which leads to my next

big or small which leads to my next hardship I was bright-eyed and

hardship I was bright-eyed and

hardship I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed upon entering University

bushy-tailed upon entering University

bushy-tailed upon entering University little did I know I was about to get

little did I know I was about to get

little did I know I was about to get rejected left to right by various

rejected left to right by various

rejected left to right by various recruiters at my first University career

recruiters at my first University career

recruiters at my first University career fair as the freshmen here’s what it

fair as the freshmen here’s what it

fair as the freshmen here’s what it looked like these recruiters told me to

looked like these recruiters told me to

looked like these recruiters told me to come back when I was older or had more

come back when I was older or had more

come back when I was older or had more experience and I hated them and for

experience and I hated them and for

experience and I hated them and for those of you who have faced rejection

those of you who have faced rejection

those of you who have faced rejection you probably hate recruiters too

you probably hate recruiters too

you probably hate recruiters too actually let me get a show of hands how

actually let me get a show of hands how

actually let me get a show of hands how many of you are willing to admit that

many of you are willing to admit that

many of you are willing to admit that you hate recruiters that’s okay because

you hate recruiters that’s okay because

you hate recruiters that’s okay because Google search seems to agree

well the funny thing is I now work for

well the funny thing is I now work for recruiting and I love it anyways after

recruiting and I love it anyways after

recruiting and I love it anyways after months and months of disgruntled this I

months and months of disgruntled this I

months and months of disgruntled this I decided to use my negative energy and

decided to use my negative energy and

decided to use my negative energy and harness it to do something productive so

harness it to do something productive so

harness it to do something productive so as I was going through yet another

as I was going through yet another

as I was going through yet another generically ridden rejection email from

generically ridden rejection email from

generically ridden rejection email from a recruiter that I read

a recruiter that I read

a recruiter that I read dear blah blah blah thank you for

dear blah blah blah thank you for

dear blah blah blah thank you for applying a blah blah blah position I

applying a blah blah blah position I

applying a blah blah blah position I forced my hand to hover over the reply

forced my hand to hover over the reply

forced my hand to hover over the reply button instead of yet again deleting the

button instead of yet again deleting the

button instead of yet again deleting the email and contemplated what to do

email and contemplated what to do

email and contemplated what to do instead of yet again deleting the email

instead of yet again deleting the email

instead of yet again deleting the email and what I did was something so simple

and what I did was something so simple

and what I did was something so simple that I was astounded by the magnitude of

that I was astounded by the magnitude of

that I was astounded by the magnitude of its results and this simple advice is

its results and this simple advice is

its results and this simple advice is what I continuously advise my peers

what I continuously advise my peers

what I continuously advise my peers today who see career guidance and it’s

today who see career guidance and it’s

today who see career guidance and it’s to communicate

to communicate

to communicate I asked recruiters what can I do to

I asked recruiters what can I do to

I asked recruiters what can I do to improve my resume or what skills and

improve my resume or what skills and

improve my resume or what skills and make me a good candidate for your

make me a good candidate for your

make me a good candidate for your position and three is down the line with

position and three is down the line with

position and three is down the line with accumulated advice from various

accumulated advice from various

accumulated advice from various recruiters in different industries I

recruiters in different industries I

recruiters in different industries I walked across my university stage with

walked across my university stage with

walked across my university stage with three full-time offers from

three full-time offers from

three full-time offers from distinguished companies now I say this

distinguished companies now I say this

distinguished companies now I say this not to boast but to inform you that a

not to boast but to inform you that a

not to boast but to inform you that a lot of these milestones do come at a

lot of these milestones do come at a

lot of these milestones do come at a cost and I invite you with whatever

cost and I invite you with whatever

cost and I invite you with whatever situation you may be in that may seem

situation you may be in that may seem

situation you may be in that may seem impossible to consider being creative

impossible to consider being creative

impossible to consider being creative and as I inch toward my last hardship I

and as I inch toward my last hardship I

and as I inch toward my last hardship I like to ask that you all close your eyes

like to ask that you all close your eyes

like to ask that you all close your eyes and envision a hardship you’re going

and envision a hardship you’re going

and envision a hardship you’re going through right this very moment even if

through right this very moment even if

through right this very moment even if it’s my talk and how it makes you feel

it’s my talk and how it makes you feel

it’s my talk and how it makes you feel because this is real and to be honest as

because this is real and to be honest as

because this is real and to be honest as I talk to you today I’m still figuring

I talk to you today I’m still figuring

I talk to you today I’m still figuring this out because it’s adjustment it’s

this out because it’s adjustment it’s

this out because it’s adjustment it’s moving from city to city across the

moving from city to city across the

moving from city to city across the state across the coast for better

state across the coast for better

state across the coast for better opportunities and I’d like to pause to

opportunities and I’d like to pause to

opportunities and I’d like to pause to commend each and every one of you for

commend each and every one of you for

commend each and every one of you for going here and far to pursue your dreams

going here and far to pursue your dreams

going here and far to pursue your dreams because as glamorizing as it seems to be

because as glamorizing as it seems to be

because as glamorizing as it seems to be moving around so frequently it can be

moving around so frequently it can be

moving around so frequently it can be terrifying at times adjusting to new

terrifying at times adjusting to new

terrifying at times adjusting to new jobs new friends new cultures

jobs new friends new cultures

jobs new friends new cultures it truly is the art of being comfortable

it truly is the art of being comfortable

it truly is the art of being comfortable in such an uncomfortable space seeking

in such an uncomfortable space seeking

in such an uncomfortable space seeking opportunities adjusting to change and

opportunities adjusting to change and

opportunities adjusting to change and seeing failure as a means for growth and

seeing failure as a means for growth and

seeing failure as a means for growth and although I’ve met awesome people

although I’ve met awesome people

although I’ve met awesome people throughout this journey

throughout this journey

throughout this journey the most important relationship iPhone

the most important relationship iPhone

the most important relationship iPhone was the relationship I built with myself

was the relationship I built with myself

was the relationship I built with myself for most and so I invite you with

for most and so I invite you with

for most and so I invite you with whatever transitions you’ll face in life

whatever transitions you’ll face in life

whatever transitions you’ll face in life to consider starting inwardly and see

to consider starting inwardly and see

to consider starting inwardly and see how that will change your outward world

how that will change your outward world

how that will change your outward world and as I come to a conclusion with my

and as I come to a conclusion with my

and as I come to a conclusion with my talk I’d like to summarize with

talk I’d like to summarize with

talk I’d like to summarize with characteristics of people who persevered

characteristics of people who persevered

characteristics of people who persevered with diagrams the first diagram is of a

with diagrams the first diagram is of a

with diagrams the first diagram is of a person who tends to not persevere people

person who tends to not persevere people

person who tends to not persevere people who tend to not persevere tend to have

who tend to not persevere tend to have

who tend to not persevere tend to have what you call a fixed mindset they find

what you call a fixed mindset they find

what you call a fixed mindset they find success at point X in getting over their

success at point X in getting over their

success at point X in getting over their hardship and are content at that point

hardship and are content at that point

hardship and are content at that point however consequently they don’t tend to

however consequently they don’t tend to

however consequently they don’t tend to see other and anticipated hardships to

see other and anticipated hardships to

see other and anticipated hardships to come along in life people who do

come along in life people who do

come along in life people who do persevere in contrast have what you call

persevere in contrast have what you call

persevere in contrast have what you call an open mindset these individuals find

an open mindset these individuals find

an open mindset these individuals find success not getting over their hardships

success not getting over their hardships

success not getting over their hardships but going through all hardships knowing

but going through all hardships knowing

but going through all hardships knowing that life doesn’t get any easier we just

that life doesn’t get any easier we just

that life doesn’t get any easier we just become more adaptable to hardships the

become more adaptable to hardships the

become more adaptable to hardships the more we encounter them after all

more we encounter them after all

more we encounter them after all hardships are fair hardships don’t

hardships are fair hardships don’t

hardships are fair hardships don’t discriminate and hardships are

discriminate and hardships are

discriminate and hardships are inevitable meaning no matter who you are

inevitable meaning no matter who you are

inevitable meaning no matter who you are what your status is or what you do

what your status is or what you do

what your status is or what you do you’re likely to face hardships in your

you’re likely to face hardships in your

you’re likely to face hardships in your life and with that they say that we are

life and with that they say that we are

life and with that they say that we are the average of the three people we hang

the average of the three people we hang

the average of the three people we hang out with the most so surround yourself

out with the most so surround yourself

out with the most so surround yourself with scholars with optimists and with

with scholars with optimists and with

with scholars with optimists and with dreamers and see how that will transform

dreamers and see how that will transform

dreamers and see how that will transform your life and be those people to others

your life and be those people to others

your life and be those people to others as well because after all you are more

as well because after all you are more

as well because after all you are more than enough you will go so far and you

than enough you will go so far and you

than enough you will go so far and you should never give up thank you

should never give up thank you

should never give up thank you [Applause]

”

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