when I was five years old my three siblings and I left their dinner on the
siblings and I left their dinner on the
siblings and I left their dinner on the table and followed the sound of my
table and followed the sound of my
table and followed the sound of my father’s scream downstairs we stopped
father’s scream downstairs we stopped
father’s scream downstairs we stopped short at the scene of my mother’s
short at the scene of my mother’s
short at the scene of my mother’s suicide the night she hung herself my
suicide the night she hung herself my
suicide the night she hung herself my mom must have decided that her life had
mom must have decided that her life had
mom must have decided that her life had no worth and I decided as a child does
no worth and I decided as a child does
no worth and I decided as a child does that her decision must have been because
that her decision must have been because
that her decision must have been because of me
of me
of me I would spend the next three decades of
I would spend the next three decades of
I would spend the next three decades of my life telling myself versions of if I
my life telling myself versions of if I
my life telling myself versions of if I was good enough
was good enough
was good enough horrible things wouldn’t happen my
horrible things wouldn’t happen my
horrible things wouldn’t happen my incessant obligation to improve myself
incessant obligation to improve myself
incessant obligation to improve myself ran me like a junkie this became my own
ran me like a junkie this became my own
ran me like a junkie this became my own personal prison in my 20s I married and
personal prison in my 20s I married and
personal prison in my 20s I married and I had my first son and then a second and
I had my first son and then a second and
I had my first son and then a second and a third and I promptly put myself into a
a third and I promptly put myself into a
a third and I promptly put myself into a parenting class that introduced me to
parenting class that introduced me to
parenting class that introduced me to something called the Enneagram an
something called the Enneagram an
something called the Enneagram an incisive psychological tool the
incisive psychological tool the
incisive psychological tool the Enneagram has taught at places like
Enneagram has taught at places like
Enneagram has taught at places like Stanford and Harvard it showed me that
Stanford and Harvard it showed me that
Stanford and Harvard it showed me that people’s neurological organization is so
people’s neurological organization is so
people’s neurological organization is so patterned were actually predictable like
patterned were actually predictable like
patterned were actually predictable like a map of ego structures this curious
a map of ego structures this curious
a map of ego structures this curious nine pointed diagram pointed out the
nine pointed diagram pointed out the
nine pointed diagram pointed out the cognitive emotional and behavioral
cognitive emotional and behavioral
cognitive emotional and behavioral strategies we all use to survive our
strategies we all use to survive our
strategies we all use to survive our childhoods
childhoods
childhoods I very reluctantly recognized myself as
I very reluctantly recognized myself as
I very reluctantly recognized myself as an anagram type one the perfectionist
an anagram type one the perfectionist
an anagram type one the perfectionist reformer whose habit it is to suppress
reformer whose habit it is to suppress
reformer whose habit it is to suppress anger and reframe it into something more
anger and reframe it into something more
anger and reframe it into something more appropriate were utopian at heart but
appropriate were utopian at heart but
appropriate were utopian at heart but type ones forget that our goodness is
type ones forget that our goodness is
type ones forget that our goodness is inherent not earned and we set standards
inherent not earned and we set standards
inherent not earned and we set standards for ourselves and others that leave us
for ourselves and others that leave us
for ourselves and others that leave us eternally idealistic and chronically
eternally idealistic and chronically
eternally idealistic and chronically frustrated for the first time I
frustrated for the first time I
frustrated for the first time I understood that the contempt I held for
understood that the contempt I held for
understood that the contempt I held for myself was directly related to my fury
myself was directly related to my fury
myself was directly related to my fury at the world for abandoning me when my
at the world for abandoning me when my
at the world for abandoning me when my mother disappeared from my life I could
mother disappeared from my life I could
mother disappeared from my life I could temporarily suppress my outrage by
temporarily suppress my outrage by
temporarily suppress my outrage by staying above and beyond my
staying above and beyond my
staying above and beyond my approach until my ego caught up to me
approach until my ego caught up to me
approach until my ego caught up to me with its self-critical judgment and
with its self-critical judgment and
with its self-critical judgment and seething resentment there was nothing
seething resentment there was nothing
seething resentment there was nothing wrong with me as it turns out just an
wrong with me as it turns out just an
wrong with me as it turns out just an intelligent response to a massive hurt
intelligent response to a massive hurt
intelligent response to a massive hurt and my fierce compulsion to avoid it
and my fierce compulsion to avoid it
and my fierce compulsion to avoid it slowly I began to realize that in nine
slowly I began to realize that in nine
slowly I began to realize that in nine different ways we all come to suffer
different ways we all come to suffer
different ways we all come to suffer that were not enough not good enough not
that were not enough not good enough not
that were not enough not good enough not special enough not successful enough not
special enough not successful enough not
special enough not successful enough not unique enough not masterful enough loyal
unique enough not masterful enough loyal
unique enough not masterful enough loyal happy strong or loved enough this is the
happy strong or loved enough this is the
happy strong or loved enough this is the human condition I wish I could tell you
human condition I wish I could tell you
human condition I wish I could tell you that’s when I became enlightened but I
that’s when I became enlightened but I
that’s when I became enlightened but I wouldn’t find any lasting reprieve from
wouldn’t find any lasting reprieve from
wouldn’t find any lasting reprieve from my inner critic until almost ten years
my inner critic until almost ten years
my inner critic until almost ten years later when I found myself in a little
later when I found myself in a little
later when I found myself in a little Texas prison as a newly certified
Texas prison as a newly certified
Texas prison as a newly certified Enneagram teacher face to face with
Enneagram teacher face to face with
Enneagram teacher face to face with about a hundred guys who were in for
about a hundred guys who were in for
about a hundred guys who were in for everything from drug dealing to murder I
everything from drug dealing to murder I
everything from drug dealing to murder I was hired to teach something that I
was hired to teach something that I
was hired to teach something that I believed but I had yet to really learn
believed but I had yet to really learn
believed but I had yet to really learn that we’re all in a prison of our own
that we’re all in a prison of our own
that we’re all in a prison of our own making and the way that we suffer our
making and the way that we suffer our
making and the way that we suffer our personalities I would spend months
personalities I would spend months
personalities I would spend months stressing myself over the men I was
stressing myself over the men I was
stressing myself over the men I was about to meet projecting myself right
about to meet projecting myself right
about to meet projecting myself right onto them by imagining that they would
onto them by imagining that they would
onto them by imagining that they would be too broken too damaged to hurting too
be too broken too damaged to hurting too
be too broken too damaged to hurting too angry to get it the US prison system
angry to get it the US prison system
angry to get it the US prison system gave me a convenient metaphor from my
gave me a convenient metaphor from my
gave me a convenient metaphor from my own shadow side where I could
own shadow side where I could
own shadow side where I could unconsciously take all the stuff I
unconsciously take all the stuff I
unconsciously take all the stuff I couldn’t stand about myself and dump it
couldn’t stand about myself and dump it
couldn’t stand about myself and dump it onto an entire population of already
onto an entire population of already
onto an entire population of already hurting men I wouldn’t get away with
hurting men I wouldn’t get away with
hurting men I wouldn’t get away with that for long the men that I met behind
that for long the men that I met behind
that for long the men that I met behind bars were nothing like I imagined they
bars were nothing like I imagined they
bars were nothing like I imagined they were so grateful that someone came and
were so grateful that someone came and
were so grateful that someone came and they were starving to know the truth
they were starving to know the truth
they were starving to know the truth about themselves they shocked me with
about themselves they shocked me with
about themselves they shocked me with their transparency and but they were
their transparency and but they were
their transparency and but they were willing to admit to having done and also
willing to admit to having done and also
willing to admit to having done and also what they shared with me happened to
what they shared with me happened to
what they shared with me happened to them during their childhoods
them during their childhoods
them during their childhoods as I stood in front of a sea of men in
as I stood in front of a sea of men in
as I stood in front of a sea of men in blue uniforms who reminded me of my own
blue uniforms who reminded me of my own
blue uniforms who reminded me of my own children a little part of me said it
children a little part of me said it
children a little part of me said it among them
among them
among them arms folded foot-tapping waiting for
arms folded foot-tapping waiting for
arms folded foot-tapping waiting for those tough guys to drop their defense
those tough guys to drop their defense
those tough guys to drop their defense mechanisms waiting for them to find
mechanisms waiting for them to find
mechanisms waiting for them to find their vulnerability and then they did
their vulnerability and then they did
their vulnerability and then they did and I suddenly found myself up against
and I suddenly found myself up against
and I suddenly found myself up against my own ego structure in ways that I did
my own ego structure in ways that I did
my own ego structure in ways that I did not anticipate and I did not like
not anticipate and I did not like
not anticipate and I did not like sitting with people at the unhealthy
sitting with people at the unhealthy
sitting with people at the unhealthy rock-bottom of themselves as we found
rock-bottom of themselves as we found
rock-bottom of themselves as we found our breath and we located an inner
our breath and we located an inner
our breath and we located an inner witness to ourselves in a place like
witness to ourselves in a place like
witness to ourselves in a place like prison was a miracle because their
prison was a miracle because their
prison was a miracle because their practice of self sabotage and
practice of self sabotage and
practice of self sabotage and self-hatred and self-abandonment
self-hatred and self-abandonment
self-hatred and self-abandonment sheepishly realized were also mine years
sheepishly realized were also mine years
sheepishly realized were also mine years of therapy and healers and self-help
of therapy and healers and self-help
of therapy and healers and self-help books and workshops couldn’t rival the
books and workshops couldn’t rival the
books and workshops couldn’t rival the extraordinary journey inward I received
extraordinary journey inward I received
extraordinary journey inward I received from sitting in that prison with those
from sitting in that prison with those
from sitting in that prison with those men over the next four years they showed
men over the next four years they showed
men over the next four years they showed me that my story of being not good
me that my story of being not good
me that my story of being not good enough was a tired one and what a fraud
enough was a tired one and what a fraud
enough was a tired one and what a fraud I would be if I fail to take my own
I would be if I fail to take my own
I would be if I fail to take my own teaching the teaching of the Enneagram
teaching the teaching of the Enneagram
teaching the teaching of the Enneagram to heart right in front of me those
to heart right in front of me those
to heart right in front of me those hurting men were waking up to who they
hurting men were waking up to who they
hurting men were waking up to who they were and they as they did they literally
were and they as they did they literally
were and they as they did they literally held space for me to do the same
traditionally the Enneagram has been
traditionally the Enneagram has been taught and privileged white esoteric
taught and privileged white esoteric
taught and privileged white esoteric circles but it has always been meant for
circles but it has always been meant for
circles but it has always been meant for everyone in 2012 I founded a nonprofit
everyone in 2012 I founded a nonprofit
everyone in 2012 I founded a nonprofit called Enneagram prison project in order
called Enneagram prison project in order
called Enneagram prison project in order to bring this self awareness tool to the
to bring this self awareness tool to the
to bring this self awareness tool to the people who seem to need it the most
people who seem to need it the most
people who seem to need it the most together with a dedicated team small but
together with a dedicated team small but
together with a dedicated team small but dedicated team we’ve been teaching the
dedicated team we’ve been teaching the
dedicated team we’ve been teaching the anagram in California at progressive
anagram in California at progressive
anagram in California at progressive facilities like Santa Clara County and
facilities like Santa Clara County and
facilities like Santa Clara County and San Mateo County Jail and San Quentin
San Mateo County Jail and San Quentin
San Mateo County Jail and San Quentin State Prison people told us you can’t
State Prison people told us you can’t
State Prison people told us you can’t teach that thing to them they’re gonna
teach that thing to them they’re gonna
teach that thing to them they’re gonna manipulate you with it but that’s not
manipulate you with it but that’s not
manipulate you with it but that’s not what happens I’ll tell you what does we
what happens I’ll tell you what does we
what happens I’ll tell you what does we give people this incisive psychological
give people this incisive psychological
give people this incisive psychological tool and the loving support they need to
tool and the loving support they need to
tool and the loving support they need to unpack what happened to them people who
unpack what happened to them people who
unpack what happened to them people who have been practically thrown away
have been practically thrown away
have been practically thrown away warehoused who have all but discarded
warehoused who have all but discarded
warehoused who have all but discarded themselves do but hardly anyone believes
themselves do but hardly anyone believes
themselves do but hardly anyone believes is even possible to do they
is even possible to do they
is even possible to do they and to heal historically our approach to
and to heal historically our approach to
and to heal historically our approach to correcting bad behavior in the US has
correcting bad behavior in the US has
correcting bad behavior in the US has been to punish but punishment alone
been to punish but punishment alone
been to punish but punishment alone doesn’t work we know this because we’ve
doesn’t work we know this because we’ve
doesn’t work we know this because we’ve seen a 700 percent increase in
seen a 700 percent increase in
seen a 700 percent increase in incarceration over 30 years in this
incarceration over 30 years in this
incarceration over 30 years in this country nearly one in a hundred
country nearly one in a hundred
country nearly one in a hundred Americans is behind bars sixty-seven
Americans is behind bars sixty-seven
Americans is behind bars sixty-seven percent of them will return to prison
percent of them will return to prison
percent of them will return to prison within three years we’ve been tough on
within three years we’ve been tough on
within three years we’ve been tough on crime and we’ve waged a war on drugs but
crime and we’ve waged a war on drugs but
crime and we’ve waged a war on drugs but the human beings targeted in our
the human beings targeted in our
the human beings targeted in our campaigns are already among the most
campaigns are already among the most
campaigns are already among the most hurting members of our society we put
hurting members of our society we put
hurting members of our society we put them in prisons more destructive than
them in prisons more destructive than
them in prisons more destructive than the lives that were living and then hate
the lives that were living and then hate
the lives that were living and then hate them for not changing when they get out
them for not changing when they get out
them for not changing when they get out every one of the women in our
every one of the women in our
every one of the women in our maximum-security classes has been raped
maximum-security classes has been raped
maximum-security classes has been raped many of them before age 10 most of the
many of them before age 10 most of the
many of them before age 10 most of the men in custody have lost their fathers
men in custody have lost their fathers
men in custody have lost their fathers through violence death incarceration or
through violence death incarceration or
through violence death incarceration or abandonment mostly before they were
abandonment mostly before they were
abandonment mostly before they were teens physical sexual and emotional
teens physical sexual and emotional
teens physical sexual and emotional abuse for men and women is so normalized
abuse for men and women is so normalized
abuse for men and women is so normalized that people list off tortures they’ve
that people list off tortures they’ve
that people list off tortures they’ve lived through not even comprehending a
lived through not even comprehending a
lived through not even comprehending a degree of emotional loss they’ve
degree of emotional loss they’ve
degree of emotional loss they’ve suffered and the majority of men and
suffered and the majority of men and
suffered and the majority of men and women in prison are in for drug-related
women in prison are in for drug-related
women in prison are in for drug-related offenses dr. Gabor maté a the Canadian
offenses dr. Gabor maté a the Canadian
offenses dr. Gabor maté a the Canadian Hungarian physician who specializes in
Hungarian physician who specializes in
Hungarian physician who specializes in addiction says the most pressing
addiction says the most pressing
addiction says the most pressing question is not why the addiction but
question is not why the addiction but
question is not why the addiction but rather why the pain our system is broken
rather why the pain our system is broken
rather why the pain our system is broken and so are the people in it
and so are the people in it
and so are the people in it author Henry cloud says we begin to
author Henry cloud says we begin to
author Henry cloud says we begin to change when the pain of staying the same
change when the pain of staying the same
change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing
is greater than the pain of changing
is greater than the pain of changing we’ve come by our reputation as the
we’ve come by our reputation as the
we’ve come by our reputation as the country that incarcerate smore people
country that incarcerate smore people
country that incarcerate smore people than any other nation by perpetuating a
than any other nation by perpetuating a
than any other nation by perpetuating a system that has long since failed those
system that has long since failed those
system that has long since failed those it aims to correct we need to hold
it aims to correct we need to hold
it aims to correct we need to hold people compassionately culpable for what
people compassionately culpable for what
people compassionately culpable for what has gone wildly wrong on both sides of
has gone wildly wrong on both sides of
has gone wildly wrong on both sides of the bars for those locked up in our
the bars for those locked up in our
the bars for those locked up in our correctional system and for those of us
correctional system and for those of us
correctional system and for those of us running it but we cannot change we
running it but we cannot change we
running it but we cannot change we cannot see we must be willing to take a
cannot see we must be willing to take a
cannot see we must be willing to take a look at what is actually
look at what is actually
look at what is actually really going on on the inside on the
really going on on the inside on the
really going on on the inside on the inside of jails in prisons on the inside
inside of jails in prisons on the inside
inside of jails in prisons on the inside of families systems and inside of
of families systems and inside of
of families systems and inside of ourselves
ourselves
ourselves a man named John self-selected into our
a man named John self-selected into our
a man named John self-selected into our eight week program at the local jail 18
eight week program at the local jail 18
eight week program at the local jail 18 months ago jacked-up tattoos everywhere
months ago jacked-up tattoos everywhere
months ago jacked-up tattoos everywhere awaiting court and looking at some
awaiting court and looking at some
awaiting court and looking at some serious time he picked a type overnight
serious time he picked a type overnight
serious time he picked a type overnight and his cell with an any grande book
and his cell with an any grande book
and his cell with an any grande book type 3 the performer achiever he got to
type 3 the performer achiever he got to
type 3 the performer achiever he got to work on himself immediately type threes
work on himself immediately type threes
work on himself immediately type threes are known for their hustle for being the
are known for their hustle for being the
are known for their hustle for being the best for being successful but John owned
best for being successful but John owned
best for being successful but John owned the hardest most defended part of his
the hardest most defended part of his
the hardest most defended part of his type the chameleon-like deceit and the
type the chameleon-like deceit and the
type the chameleon-like deceit and the violent aggression for anyone who got in
violent aggression for anyone who got in
violent aggression for anyone who got in the way of his big self-image and the
the way of his big self-image and the
the way of his big self-image and the tuff mask that he wore all of which we
tuff mask that he wore all of which we
tuff mask that he wore all of which we helped him to realize for his good cover
helped him to realize for his good cover
helped him to realize for his good cover for a very hurting heart for John prison
for a very hurting heart for John prison
for a very hurting heart for John prison began in utero he was born to a Coke
began in utero he was born to a Coke
began in utero he was born to a Coke addicted mother and a father who would
addicted mother and a father who would
addicted mother and a father who would show up sporadically to beat his family
show up sporadically to beat his family
show up sporadically to beat his family and have sex with his mother in front of
and have sex with his mother in front of
and have sex with his mother in front of the children
the children
the children Little John protested by Rooney’s moms
Little John protested by Rooney’s moms
Little John protested by Rooney’s moms hi every chance he got hiding her drugs
hi every chance he got hiding her drugs
hi every chance he got hiding her drugs being a menace starving for attention
being a menace starving for attention
being a menace starving for attention when John was only four years old his
when John was only four years old his
when John was only four years old his pregnant mother went to prison and John
pregnant mother went to prison and John
pregnant mother went to prison and John was sent to foster care where he was
was sent to foster care where he was
was sent to foster care where he was violently and repeatedly raped for years
violently and repeatedly raped for years
violently and repeatedly raped for years by two older foster care kids with a
by two older foster care kids with a
by two older foster care kids with a knife to his throat he was beaten often
knife to his throat he was beaten often
knife to his throat he was beaten often until he was hospitalized when John’s
until he was hospitalized when John’s
until he was hospitalized when John’s mom was released from prison he was
mom was released from prison he was
mom was released from prison he was returned to her care so full of hate and
returned to her care so full of hate and
returned to her care so full of hate and rage he could barely contain himself
rage he could barely contain himself
rage he could barely contain himself when he was nine he found his mom stash
when he was nine he found his mom stash
when he was nine he found his mom stash of crystal meth and instantly escaped
of crystal meth and instantly escaped
of crystal meth and instantly escaped his childhood when John was 12 he came
his childhood when John was 12 he came
his childhood when John was 12 he came upon his father beating his mother
upon his father beating his mother
upon his father beating his mother nearly to death and her defense he saw
nearly to death and her defense he saw
nearly to death and her defense he saw red and he beat his father into a
red and he beat his father into a
red and he beat his father into a six-month coma with a baseball bat
John was charged with assault with a
John was charged with assault with a deadly weapon and
deadly weapon and
deadly weapon and the rest of his childhood locked up in
the rest of his childhood locked up in
the rest of his childhood locked up in juvenile hall until he was 18 how we
juvenile hall until he was 18 how we
juvenile hall until he was 18 how we hold ourselves together when things
hold ourselves together when things
hold ourselves together when things outside of us are falling apart is
outside of us are falling apart is
outside of us are falling apart is learned in childhood
learned in childhood
learned in childhood how much presence we can tolerate is
how much presence we can tolerate is
how much presence we can tolerate is directly related to the relationship to
directly related to the relationship to
directly related to the relationship to nurture we had when we were small for
nurture we had when we were small for
nurture we had when we were small for John nurture is non-existent the
John nurture is non-existent the
John nurture is non-existent the scariest part of his childhood were his
scariest part of his childhood were his
scariest part of his childhood were his own parents under that kind of terror
own parents under that kind of terror
own parents under that kind of terror our reptilian brain signals us to fight
our reptilian brain signals us to fight
our reptilian brain signals us to fight to flee or to freeze it’s the only
to flee or to freeze it’s the only
to flee or to freeze it’s the only Guardian we have it’s the only thing we
Guardian we have it’s the only thing we
Guardian we have it’s the only thing we come to trust we teach students like
come to trust we teach students like
come to trust we teach students like John and there are thousands of inmates
John and there are thousands of inmates
John and there are thousands of inmates like John that what happened to him was
like John that what happened to him was
like John that what happened to him was not his fault as the famous English
not his fault as the famous English
not his fault as the famous English psychologist DW Winnicott says things
psychologist DW Winnicott says things
psychologist DW Winnicott says things that happened during childhood should
that happened during childhood should
that happened during childhood should never have happened and things that
never have happened and things that
never have happened and things that should happen did not things like love
should happen did not things like love
should happen did not things like love and nurture and holding but we also
and nurture and holding but we also
and nurture and holding but we also teach that the holding that he did not
teach that the holding that he did not
teach that the holding that he did not receive it is possible for him to learn
receive it is possible for him to learn
receive it is possible for him to learn to do for himself now we taught him of
to do for himself now we taught him of
to do for himself now we taught him of the intelligence behind his instinct to
the intelligence behind his instinct to
the intelligence behind his instinct to fight to survive to the scene of the
fight to survive to the scene of the
fight to survive to the scene of the radience we still see in him and that
radience we still see in him and that
radience we still see in him and that his capacity to be as whole as he hopes
his capacity to be as whole as he hopes
his capacity to be as whole as he hopes to become is undiminished and then we
to become is undiminished and then we
to become is undiminished and then we watched as tears filled his eyes and
watched as tears filled his eyes and
watched as tears filled his eyes and John set a goal to transform his life I
founded Enneagram prison project on a
founded Enneagram prison project on a leap of faith
leap of faith
leap of faith naively believing that if we could just
naively believing that if we could just
naively believing that if we could just help people to see the patterns of their
help people to see the patterns of their
help people to see the patterns of their personality they would be freed to make
personality they would be freed to make
personality they would be freed to make new choices over the last eight years
new choices over the last eight years
new choices over the last eight years working with some of the best teachers
working with some of the best teachers
working with some of the best teachers in the field I have come to see that
in the field I have come to see that
in the field I have come to see that this is only partially true learning the
this is only partially true learning the
this is only partially true learning the personality is a big part of the puzzle
personality is a big part of the puzzle
personality is a big part of the puzzle but trauma resolution and recovering the
but trauma resolution and recovering the
but trauma resolution and recovering the emotional losses of childhood are the
emotional losses of childhood are the
emotional losses of childhood are the others adverse childhood experiences can
others adverse childhood experiences can
others adverse childhood experiences can impair the very architecture of the
impair the very architecture of the
impair the very architecture of the brain with negative effects that can
brain with negative effects that can
brain with negative effects that can last a lifetime actually a prison made
last a lifetime actually a prison made
last a lifetime actually a prison made for us in childhood is not our choice at
for us in childhood is not our choice at
for us in childhood is not our choice at all Bessel van der Kolk one of the
all Bessel van der Kolk one of the
all Bessel van der Kolk one of the world’s leading trauma expert says being
world’s leading trauma expert says being
world’s leading trauma expert says being traumatized is to continue to organize
traumatized is to continue to organize
traumatized is to continue to organize your life in such a way as if the trauma
your life in such a way as if the trauma
your life in such a way as if the trauma were still going on as if every new
were still going on as if every new
were still going on as if every new encounter were contaminated by the past
encounter were contaminated by the past
encounter were contaminated by the past our work is about helping people to
our work is about helping people to
our work is about helping people to excavate the highest parts of themselves
excavate the highest parts of themselves
excavate the highest parts of themselves from the lowest places in their past
from the lowest places in their past
from the lowest places in their past we need prisons John posed a real threat
we need prisons John posed a real threat
we need prisons John posed a real threat to society and he needed to be contained
to society and he needed to be contained
to society and he needed to be contained I have had many people tell me going to
I have had many people tell me going to
I have had many people tell me going to prison saved my life but John was not
prison saved my life but John was not
prison saved my life but John was not born violent or evil no child is human
born violent or evil no child is human
born violent or evil no child is human beings do not come into the world as
beings do not come into the world as
beings do not come into the world as murderers and rapists home invaders and
murderers and rapists home invaders and
murderers and rapists home invaders and gang leaders addicts and thieves these
gang leaders addicts and thieves these
gang leaders addicts and thieves these roles are fostered inside families where
roles are fostered inside families where
roles are fostered inside families where were we when John was only four years
were we when John was only four years
were we when John was only four years old how we live out our adulthoods is
old how we live out our adulthoods is
old how we live out our adulthoods is eventually it ultimately our
eventually it ultimately our
eventually it ultimately our responsibility but we need to come clean
responsibility but we need to come clean
responsibility but we need to come clean to our own negligence and failing to
to our own negligence and failing to
to our own negligence and failing to give children the chance they so
give children the chance they so
give children the chance they so desperately deserve to ever learn how to
desperately deserve to ever learn how to
desperately deserve to ever learn how to do this what we do with children when
do this what we do with children when
do this what we do with children when they end up in our custody and our care
they end up in our custody and our care
they end up in our custody and our care is our responsibility Carl Rogers the
is our responsibility Carl Rogers the
is our responsibility Carl Rogers the humanistic psychologist said in order
humanistic psychologist said in order
humanistic psychologist said in order for people to grow they must be held in
for people to grow they must be held in
for people to grow they must be held in unconditional positive regard the people
unconditional positive regard the people
unconditional positive regard the people in custody are not even allowed to hug
in custody are not even allowed to hug
in custody are not even allowed to hug during intake when they’re booked
during intake when they’re booked
during intake when they’re booked they’re put into a cold concrete room
they’re put into a cold concrete room
they’re put into a cold concrete room called a holding tank people can spend
called a holding tank people can spend
called a holding tank people can spend all day there and entire lifetimes in
all day there and entire lifetimes in
all day there and entire lifetimes in prison without a single human being ever
prison without a single human being ever
prison without a single human being ever helping them to understand how to hold
helping them to understand how to hold
helping them to understand how to hold their pain imagine if our correctional
their pain imagine if our correctional
their pain imagine if our correctional system were to add healing to its
system were to add healing to its
system were to add healing to its charter what if we all started asking
charter what if we all started asking
charter what if we all started asking because we all started caring what has
because we all started caring what has
because we all started caring what has happened to you that led you here tell
happened to you that led you here tell
happened to you that led you here tell me about your childhood John has been
me about your childhood John has been
me about your childhood John has been sent to prison he’s scheduled to get out
sent to prison he’s scheduled to get out
sent to prison he’s scheduled to get out in 2036 how the time served in his
in 2036 how the time served in his
in 2036 how the time served in his tortured childhood does not somehow
tortured childhood does not somehow
tortured childhood does not somehow count and his overall sentencing is
count and his overall sentencing is
count and his overall sentencing is confounding John has a one-year-old
confounding John has a one-year-old
confounding John has a one-year-old daughter he will experience her entire
daughter he will experience her entire
daughter he will experience her entire childhood from behind bars when the
childhood from behind bars when the
childhood from behind bars when the prison door clanged close behind him
prison door clanged close behind him
prison door clanged close behind him John fell to his knees and sobbed
John fell to his knees and sobbed
John fell to his knees and sobbed thinking he would lose his mind but then
thinking he would lose his mind but then
thinking he would lose his mind but then he heard this little voice inside of his
he heard this little voice inside of his
he heard this little voice inside of his head say can you be okay and then and
head say can you be okay and then and
head say can you be okay and then and the most counter instinctual move of his
the most counter instinctual move of his
the most counter instinctual move of his lifetime
lifetime
lifetime John sat down in that prison cell and he
John sat down in that prison cell and he
John sat down in that prison cell and he took a breath the people that we least
took a breath the people that we least
took a breath the people that we least expect to change are waking up to the
expect to change are waking up to the
expect to change are waking up to the pain inside of themselves ending
pain inside of themselves ending
pain inside of themselves ending generational cycles of incarceration one
generational cycles of incarceration one
generational cycles of incarceration one person one pod when prison at a time the
person one pod when prison at a time the
person one pod when prison at a time the rest of us need to wake up to impacting
rest of us need to wake up to impacting
rest of us need to wake up to impacting a pattern of this epic proportion
a pattern of this epic proportion
a pattern of this epic proportion requires a radical massive paradigm
requires a radical massive paradigm
requires a radical massive paradigm shift in consciousness a shift and
shift in consciousness a shift and
shift in consciousness a shift and caring self scrutiny must happen on both
caring self scrutiny must happen on both
caring self scrutiny must happen on both sides of the bars we need not insist
sides of the bars we need not insist
sides of the bars we need not insist that the incarcerated bear the brunt of
that the incarcerated bear the brunt of
that the incarcerated bear the brunt of our collective healing actually the
our collective healing actually the
our collective healing actually the incarcerated are among the most powerful
incarcerated are among the most powerful
incarcerated are among the most powerful willing agents of human transformation
willing agents of human transformation
willing agents of human transformation that exists on a spiritual level their
that exists on a spiritual level their
that exists on a spiritual level their healing lists the collective but in the
healing lists the collective but in the
healing lists the collective but in the most practical sense their healing is
most practical sense their healing is
most practical sense their healing is for the protection of society as a whole
for the protection of society as a whole
for the protection of society as a whole the way they went in was bad enough
the way they went in was bad enough
the way they went in was bad enough an eager imprison projects compassionate
an eager imprison projects compassionate
an eager imprison projects compassionate application of the loving Enneagram
application of the loving Enneagram
application of the loving Enneagram system allows people to leave prison
system allows people to leave prison
system allows people to leave prison better off than where they started we
better off than where they started we
better off than where they started we all benefit from this kind of expansion
all benefit from this kind of expansion
all benefit from this kind of expansion and I know now without a doubt they are
and I know now without a doubt they are
and I know now without a doubt they are the ones who deserve it
”
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