good morning everyone thank you so much for coming narcissism is a word that’s
for coming narcissism is a word that’s
for coming narcissism is a word that’s become so frequently used that I would
become so frequently used that I would
become so frequently used that I would suggest that everybody in this room has
suggest that everybody in this room has
suggest that everybody in this room has some idea of it when they saw this as a
some idea of it when they saw this as a
some idea of it when they saw this as a topic it’s a popular insult used by
topic it’s a popular insult used by
topic it’s a popular insult used by everybody average citizens members of
everybody average citizens members of
everybody average citizens members of the media celebrities and therapists of
the media celebrities and therapists of
the media celebrities and therapists of course in Psychological circles it’s
course in Psychological circles it’s
course in Psychological circles it’s anywhere from being an obnoxious
anywhere from being an obnoxious
anywhere from being an obnoxious personality trait to a very serious
personality trait to a very serious
personality trait to a very serious mental health disorder where did this
mental health disorder where did this
mental health disorder where did this word narcissism come from narcissus was
word narcissism come from narcissus was
word narcissism come from narcissus was a Greek hunter and he was known for his
a Greek hunter and he was known for his
a Greek hunter and he was known for his beauty he was very very proud and he
beauty he was very very proud and he
beauty he was very very proud and he rejected everybody that loved him so
rejected everybody that loved him so
rejected everybody that loved him so there was a nymph named echo echo was
there was a nymph named echo echo was
there was a nymph named echo echo was particularly enamored with narcissus
particularly enamored with narcissus
particularly enamored with narcissus she had no voice of her own because she
she had no voice of her own because she
she had no voice of her own because she had had a curse placed on her so she
had had a curse placed on her so she
had had a curse placed on her so she would only repeat what others would say
would only repeat what others would say
would only repeat what others would say she would follow narcissus around
she would follow narcissus around
she would follow narcissus around admiring him from afar she was very very
admiring him from afar she was very very
admiring him from afar she was very very much in love with him but what narcissus
much in love with him but what narcissus
much in love with him but what narcissus did is he rejected her and was very
did is he rejected her and was very
did is he rejected her and was very annoyed with her and one day he said to
annoyed with her and one day he said to
annoyed with her and one day he said to her I would rather die than love you
her I would rather die than love you
her I would rather die than love you nemesis a Greek goddess noticed this
nemesis a Greek goddess noticed this
nemesis a Greek goddess noticed this behavior and found it especially cruel
behavior and found it especially cruel
behavior and found it especially cruel so she decided to place a curse on him
so she decided to place a curse on him
so she decided to place a curse on him and the curse that she felt was fitting
and the curse that she felt was fitting
and the curse that she felt was fitting for him and his cruelty was that he
for him and his cruelty was that he
for him and his cruelty was that he would know the pain of unrequited love
would know the pain of unrequited love
would know the pain of unrequited love so one day narcissus was looking at his
so one day narcissus was looking at his
so one day narcissus was looking at his own reflection in the water and fell in
own reflection in the water and fell in
own reflection in the water and fell in love he didn’t realize that it was him
love he didn’t realize that it was him
love he didn’t realize that it was him self so he dove into the water to to be
self so he dove into the water to to be
self so he dove into the water to to be with that image
with that image
with that image and he never surfaced so that is the
and he never surfaced so that is the
and he never surfaced so that is the origin of the word narcissism what it
origin of the word narcissism what it
origin of the word narcissism what it means is a fixation with oneself one’s
means is a fixation with oneself one’s
means is a fixation with oneself one’s physical appearance and one’s public
physical appearance and one’s public
physical appearance and one’s public perception now what does the word
perception now what does the word
perception now what does the word narcissism mean like I said it’s become
narcissism mean like I said it’s become
narcissism mean like I said it’s become so widely used everybody has some ideas
so widely used everybody has some ideas
so widely used everybody has some ideas around it people are using it to
around it people are using it to
around it people are using it to describe just about it everybody your
describe just about it everybody your
describe just about it everybody your neighbor you probably said it about a
neighbor you probably said it about a
neighbor you probably said it about a friend your past lovers a lot of people
friend your past lovers a lot of people
friend your past lovers a lot of people will say that hey the one assumption
will say that hey the one assumption
will say that hey the one assumption that’s common about what is narcissism
that’s common about what is narcissism
that’s common about what is narcissism is that it is wholly destructive right
is that it is wholly destructive right
is that it is wholly destructive right people think that the fixation with
people think that the fixation with
people think that the fixation with oneself self-centeredness
oneself self-centeredness
oneself self-centeredness self-importance selfishness and
self-importance selfishness and
self-importance selfishness and self-admiration is entirely bad but
self-admiration is entirely bad but
self-admiration is entirely bad but what’s happening now and is that there
what’s happening now and is that there
what’s happening now and is that there are many people who are suggesting that
are many people who are suggesting that
are many people who are suggesting that that is wrong that it’s a very common
that is wrong that it’s a very common
that is wrong that it’s a very common human personality trait just the desire
human personality trait just the desire
human personality trait just the desire to feel special so the research over the
to feel special so the research over the
to feel special so the research over the past 25 years has shown that the
past 25 years has shown that the
past 25 years has shown that the participants will report have a more
participants will report have a more
participants will report have a more positive and admiral traits than
positive and admiral traits than
positive and admiral traits than negative ones compared to their peers
negative ones compared to their peers
negative ones compared to their peers okay so what that suggests the
okay so what that suggests the
okay so what that suggests the conclusion of all that research is that
conclusion of all that research is that
conclusion of all that research is that the desire or the need to feel special
the desire or the need to feel special
the desire or the need to feel special is not reserved for the arrogant jerks
is not reserved for the arrogant jerks
is not reserved for the arrogant jerks that we know or you know the one
that we know or you know the one
that we know or you know the one scrambling for all the attention but
scrambling for all the attention but
scrambling for all the attention but that it’s something that we all want and
that it’s something that we all want and
that it’s something that we all want and need so the majority of the research
need so the majority of the research
need so the majority of the research says that that if you ask people to to
says that that if you ask people to to
says that that if you ask people to to list whether they are better than or
list whether they are better than or
list whether they are better than or less than their friends and family
less than their friends and family
less than their friends and family people just the average person they will
people just the average person they will
people just the average person they will say they are better that most people see
say they are better that most people see
say they are better that most people see themselves as exceptional and that’s not
themselves as exceptional and that’s not
themselves as exceptional and that’s not a bad thing
a bad thing
a bad thing the people who do feel that they are
the people who do feel that they are
the people who do feel that they are special are happier there’s more
special are happier there’s more
special are happier there’s more sociable they’re actually more healthy
sociable they’re actually more healthy
sociable they’re actually more healthy they are enjoying life more and what we
they are enjoying life more and what we
they are enjoying life more and what we call that is the better-than-average
call that is the better-than-average
call that is the better-than-average effect ok the opposite is true as well
effect ok the opposite is true as well
effect ok the opposite is true as well so the people who do not feel special in
so the people who do not feel special in
so the people who do not feel special in any way have higher rates of anxiety and
any way have higher rates of anxiety and
any way have higher rates of anxiety and depression they also find it hard to
depression they also find it hard to
depression they also find it hard to admire the people around them and enjoy
admire the people around them and enjoy
admire the people around them and enjoy their lives well and their perception is
their lives well and their perception is
their lives well and their perception is not wrong actually it is actually more
not wrong actually it is actually more
not wrong actually it is actually more realistic than the better-than-average
realistic than the better-than-average
realistic than the better-than-average affect people but these people who don’t
affect people but these people who don’t
affect people but these people who don’t feel special they sacrifice their
feel special they sacrifice their
feel special they sacrifice their happiness for that realism so they are
happiness for that realism so they are
happiness for that realism so they are sadder but wiser effect is what we call
sadder but wiser effect is what we call
sadder but wiser effect is what we call that so what that all suggests is
that so what that all suggests is
that so what that all suggests is suggest is that we all need to feel a
suggest is that we all need to feel a
suggest is that we all need to feel a little special but we need to feel it in
little special but we need to feel it in
little special but we need to feel it in moderation it’s when it’s when that need
moderation it’s when it’s when that need
moderation it’s when it’s when that need to feel special goes over the healthy
to feel special goes over the healthy
to feel special goes over the healthy range that it becomes dangerous so what
range that it becomes dangerous so what
range that it becomes dangerous so what we found is that narcissism actually
we found is that narcissism actually
we found is that narcissism actually exists on a scale of 1 to 10 a 0 to 10
exists on a scale of 1 to 10 a 0 to 10
exists on a scale of 1 to 10 a 0 to 10 so imagine there’s a scale 0 to 10 where
so imagine there’s a scale 0 to 10 where
so imagine there’s a scale 0 to 10 where as you move up the scale your need to
as you move up the scale your need to
as you move up the scale your need to feel special increases and as you need
feel special increases and as you need
feel special increases and as you need to feel special increases you also get
to feel special increases you also get
to feel special increases you also get into an unhealthy
into an unhealthy
into an unhealthy area of functioning so being at the
area of functioning so being at the
area of functioning so being at the lower end of the scale at zero this is
lower end of the scale at zero this is
lower end of the scale at zero this is where you have no sense of self you have
where you have no sense of self you have
where you have no sense of self you have no self-importance yourself ad negating
no self-importance yourself ad negating
no self-importance yourself ad negating you you never want to feel special at
you you never want to feel special at
you you never want to feel special at all and at ten it’s the person who’s
all and at ten it’s the person who’s
all and at ten it’s the person who’s scrambling for all the attention at any
scrambling for all the attention at any
scrambling for all the attention at any cost okay so we have this scale so what
cost okay so we have this scale so what
cost okay so we have this scale so what the spectrum let’s call it so let’s talk
the spectrum let’s call it so let’s talk
the spectrum let’s call it so let’s talk a little bit about the spectrum zero to
a little bit about the spectrum zero to
a little bit about the spectrum zero to ten so zero is going to be the person
ten so zero is going to be the person
ten so zero is going to be the person who has no sense of self the person who
who has no sense of self the person who
who has no sense of self the person who is always putting themselves down never
is always putting themselves down never
is always putting themselves down never once attention is is actually rejects
once attention is is actually rejects
once attention is is actually rejects attention rejects being around people
attention rejects being around people
attention rejects being around people and these are the people who you you
and these are the people who you you
and these are the people who you you probably all know somebody like this
probably all know somebody like this
probably all know somebody like this these are the people who even in a very
these are the people who even in a very
these are the people who even in a very difficult situation imagine a woman
difficult situation imagine a woman
difficult situation imagine a woman who’s lost her husband in a tragic
who’s lost her husband in a tragic
who’s lost her husband in a tragic accident this is the woman that will say
accident this is the woman that will say
accident this is the woman that will say don’t trouble yourself
don’t trouble yourself
don’t trouble yourself don’t please don’t you know you don’t
don’t please don’t you know you don’t
don’t please don’t you know you don’t need to do anything for me so she would
need to do anything for me so she would
need to do anything for me so she would rather be alone than be around
rather be alone than be around
rather be alone than be around surrounded by loved ones okay because
surrounded by loved ones okay because
surrounded by loved ones okay because that just that little bit of feeling
that just that little bit of feeling
that just that little bit of feeling special and wanting some attention makes
special and wanting some attention makes
special and wanting some attention makes her feel very uncomfortable the other
her feel very uncomfortable the other
her feel very uncomfortable the other end of the spectrum we have ten these
end of the spectrum we have ten these
end of the spectrum we have ten these are the people who are always scrambling
are the people who are always scrambling
are the people who are always scrambling for attention these are the arrogant
for attention these are the arrogant
for attention these are the arrogant loud grandiose people that we all know
loud grandiose people that we all know
loud grandiose people that we all know in our workplaces or in the neighborhood
in our workplaces or in the neighborhood
in our workplaces or in the neighborhood or or in the family they are they will
or or in the family they are they will
or or in the family they are they will do anything to to me get their needs met
do anything to to me get their needs met
do anything to to me get their needs met to feel special there’s nothing that
to feel special there’s nothing that
to feel special there’s nothing that seems unreasonable to them they will
seems unreasonable to them they will
seems unreasonable to them they will hurt people lie steal cheat to feel
hurt people lie steal cheat to feel
hurt people lie steal cheat to feel special okay so life at these two ends
special okay so life at these two ends
special okay so life at these two ends is very bleak and it’s
is very bleak and it’s
is very bleak and it’s very difficult to actually treat these
very difficult to actually treat these
very difficult to actually treat these people the ones that are at 0 or 10 the
people the ones that are at 0 or 10 the
people the ones that are at 0 or 10 the most frequently because they’re so
most frequently because they’re so
most frequently because they’re so uncomfortable with the feelings that
uncomfortable with the feelings that
uncomfortable with the feelings that come with narcissism so the whole read
come with narcissism so the whole read
come with narcissism so the whole read the whole need to feel special is
the whole need to feel special is
the whole need to feel special is because they’re hiding uncomfortable
because they’re hiding uncomfortable
because they’re hiding uncomfortable feelings that they’re they they just
feelings that they’re they they just
feelings that they’re they they just can’t talk about and those are like fear
can’t talk about and those are like fear
can’t talk about and those are like fear sadness shame and loneliness
sadness shame and loneliness
sadness shame and loneliness so to avoid those feelings narcissists
so to avoid those feelings narcissists
so to avoid those feelings narcissists are really hanging on to this idea of
are really hanging on to this idea of
are really hanging on to this idea of being special and you really you will
being special and you really you will
being special and you really you will rarely get those people into treatment
rarely get those people into treatment
rarely get those people into treatment therapy you you won’t see those so now
therapy you you won’t see those so now
therapy you you won’t see those so now we have the scale 0 to 10 you move into
we have the scale 0 to 10 you move into
we have the scale 0 to 10 you move into the scale around 1 & 9 okay who are
the scale around 1 & 9 okay who are
the scale around 1 & 9 okay who are these people the people that are on this
these people the people that are on this
these people the people that are on this spectrum at 1 & 9 at 1 it’s gonna be the
spectrum at 1 & 9 at 1 it’s gonna be the
spectrum at 1 & 9 at 1 it’s gonna be the person who can tolerate a little bit of
person who can tolerate a little bit of
person who can tolerate a little bit of attention maybe on their birthday and
attention maybe on their birthday and
attention maybe on their birthday and that’s it otherwise very avoidant of it
that’s it otherwise very avoidant of it
that’s it otherwise very avoidant of it 9 is the person who is still seeking
9 is the person who is still seeking
9 is the person who is still seeking that attention still very grandiose but
that attention still very grandiose but
that attention still very grandiose but will occasionally feel some discomfort
will occasionally feel some discomfort
will occasionally feel some discomfort with it okay now 2 & 3 & 7 & 8 so at 2 &
with it okay now 2 & 3 & 7 & 8 so at 2 &
with it okay now 2 & 3 & 7 & 8 so at 2 & 3 you’re getting the people who are can
3 you’re getting the people who are can
3 you’re getting the people who are can kind of dream of having grit be great at
kind of dream of having grit be great at
kind of dream of having grit be great at something or can maybe think of
something or can maybe think of
something or can maybe think of potentially getting some attention
potentially getting some attention
potentially getting some attention during some special time in their life
during some special time in their life
during some special time in their life at 7 & 8 you know you’re you’re there’s
at 7 & 8 you know you’re you’re there’s
at 7 & 8 you know you’re you’re there’s a little bit more flexibility there at 7
a little bit more flexibility there at 7
a little bit more flexibility there at 7 & 8 you’re gonna find the people who
& 8 you’re gonna find the people who
& 8 you’re gonna find the people who will occasionally say something is their
will occasionally say something is their
will occasionally say something is their fault
fault
fault occasionally step back and let somebody
occasionally step back and let somebody
occasionally step back and let somebody else be the center of the spotlight they
else be the center of the spotlight they
else be the center of the spotlight they are the ones who
are the ones who
are the ones who really we’ll say oh yeah you know
really we’ll say oh yeah you know
really we’ll say oh yeah you know they’re doing a lot of this empty
they’re doing a lot of this empty
they’re doing a lot of this empty posturing like oh yeah see my new phone
posturing like oh yeah see my new phone
posturing like oh yeah see my new phone oh yeah I don’t want to tell everybody
oh yeah I don’t want to tell everybody
oh yeah I don’t want to tell everybody about it right so there’s some of that
about it right so there’s some of that
about it right so there’s some of that acknowledgement that you know I have
acknowledgement that you know I have
acknowledgement that you know I have this great new big house but like I feel
this great new big house but like I feel
this great new big house but like I feel a little uncomfortable talking about it
a little uncomfortable talking about it
a little uncomfortable talking about it so they still want to tell you I feel
so they still want to tell you I feel
so they still want to tell you I feel special but they do know that it’s it’s
special but they do know that it’s it’s
special but they do know that it’s it’s it’s not it’s not the greatest behavior
it’s not it’s not the greatest behavior
it’s not it’s not the greatest behavior so in the middle basically four to six
so in the middle basically four to six
so in the middle basically four to six this is where is is the healthy range
this is where is is the healthy range
this is where is is the healthy range okay this is where we can feel special
okay this is where we can feel special
okay this is where we can feel special when it’s appropriate and we can step
when it’s appropriate and we can step
when it’s appropriate and we can step back when it’s not so this is you know
back when it’s not so this is you know
back when it’s not so this is you know if when women have a child or you’ve
if when women have a child or you’ve
if when women have a child or you’ve you’re ill and you need some special
you’re ill and you need some special
you’re ill and you need some special attention so you’re allowing other
attention so you’re allowing other
attention so you’re allowing other people to give you that attention okay
people to give you that attention okay
people to give you that attention okay but if you need to support your partner
but if you need to support your partner
but if you need to support your partner who has lost a job or you need to
who has lost a job or you need to
who has lost a job or you need to celebrate your friend doing a TED talk
celebrate your friend doing a TED talk
celebrate your friend doing a TED talk and you can do that so you can allow
and you can do that so you can allow
and you can do that so you can allow other people to be special okay so
other people to be special okay so
other people to be special okay so really what the conclusion here is that
really what the conclusion here is that
really what the conclusion here is that narcissism exists on the spectrum we’re
narcissism exists on the spectrum we’re
narcissism exists on the spectrum we’re all on it because I know I’ll often all
all on it because I know I’ll often all
all on it because I know I’ll often all hear my clients say oh I’m not a
hear my clients say oh I’m not a
hear my clients say oh I’m not a narcissist but so-and-so is right or so
narcissist but so-and-so is right or so
narcissist but so-and-so is right or so we all have this personality trait it’s
we all have this personality trait it’s
we all have this personality trait it’s it’s a it’s a healthy personality trait
it’s a it’s a healthy personality trait
it’s a it’s a healthy personality trait when we are in that healthy range okay
when we are in that healthy range okay
when we are in that healthy range okay so what are the different so then
so what are the different so then
so what are the different so then there’s different types of narcissists
there is the the extroverted narcissist
there is the the extroverted narcissist that’s the one we’re all familiar with
that’s the one we’re all familiar with
that’s the one we’re all familiar with right the loud obnoxious one the one
right the loud obnoxious one the one
right the loud obnoxious one the one scrambling for the attention the one
scrambling for the attention the one
scrambling for the attention the one posting all the pictures the one who
posting all the pictures the one who
posting all the pictures the one who needs to be the center of attention the
needs to be the center of attention the
needs to be the center of attention the one who needs all the praise right those
one who needs all the praise right those
one who needs all the praise right those are the ones we know then there are
are the ones we know then there are
are the ones we know then there are introverted narcissus
introverted narcissus
introverted narcissus the introverted narcissists are the
the introverted narcissists are the
the introverted narcissists are the people who often will look like an echo
people who often will look like an echo
people who often will look like an echo s tan echo East is a person who has no
s tan echo East is a person who has no
s tan echo East is a person who has no sense of self alright so you will think
sense of self alright so you will think
sense of self alright so you will think that they’re the zero on the scale but
that they’re the zero on the scale but
that they’re the zero on the scale but they’re not they still feel very very
they’re not they still feel very very
they’re not they still feel very very special but they are so afraid of
special but they are so afraid of
special but they are so afraid of judgement they’re so afraid of shame
judgement they’re so afraid of shame
judgement they’re so afraid of shame that they avoid people okay but they
that they avoid people okay but they
that they avoid people okay but they still feel very special these people can
still feel very special these people can
still feel very special these people can also be very smug the kind that
also be very smug the kind that
also be very smug the kind that nothing’s good for them you know I
nothing’s good for them you know I
nothing’s good for them you know I didn’t you know I’m gonna leave this
didn’t you know I’m gonna leave this
didn’t you know I’m gonna leave this party and it’s not good for me or that
party and it’s not good for me or that
party and it’s not good for me or that wasn’t good enough for me
wasn’t good enough for me
wasn’t good enough for me but they actually feel this like they
but they actually feel this like they
but they actually feel this like they have some special gift that people just
have some special gift that people just
have some special gift that people just don’t recognize that they are some they
don’t recognize that they are some they
don’t recognize that they are some they have some hidden talents and everybody
have some hidden talents and everybody
have some hidden talents and everybody else is below them and nobody could
else is below them and nobody could
else is below them and nobody could really understand them okay and then
really understand them okay and then
really understand them okay and then there are the communal narcissus the
there are the communal narcissus the
there are the communal narcissus the communal narcissists are the ones who
communal narcissists are the ones who
communal narcissists are the ones who are all about helping and giving they
are all about helping and giving they
are all about helping and giving they are very uncomfortable with taking any
are very uncomfortable with taking any
are very uncomfortable with taking any attention for the taking
attention for the taking
attention for the taking actually not attention they they want
actually not attention they they want
actually not attention they they want attention but they’re uncomfortable with
attention but they’re uncomfortable with
attention but they’re uncomfortable with accepting help because they want to be
accepting help because they want to be
accepting help because they want to be the one who gives they want to give to
the one who gives they want to give to
the one who gives they want to give to charities they want to give their time
charities they want to give their time
charities they want to give their time they’re the ones that’ll corner you in a
they’re the ones that’ll corner you in a
they’re the ones that’ll corner you in a room and be like oh yeah so my friend
room and be like oh yeah so my friend
room and be like oh yeah so my friend and I helped her and I did this and I
and I helped her and I did this and I
and I helped her and I did this and I did that they’re the ones who are always
did that they’re the ones who are always
did that they’re the ones who are always helping helping helping and then wanting
helping helping helping and then wanting
helping helping helping and then wanting to tell people they’re helping because
to tell people they’re helping because
to tell people they’re helping because that’s what makes them feel special that
that’s what makes them feel special that
that’s what makes them feel special that they are giving and not taking okay so
they are giving and not taking okay so
they are giving and not taking okay so what you see here is that there are
what you see here is that there are
what you see here is that there are definitely different ways to express
definitely different ways to express
definitely different ways to express your need to feel special the
your need to feel special the
your need to feel special the the commonality though is that they are
the commonality though is that they are
the commonality though is that they are better than everybody else okay so back
better than everybody else okay so back
better than everybody else okay so back to the spectrum and can we move up and
to the spectrum and can we move up and
to the spectrum and can we move up and down the spectrum are we fixated at one
down the spectrum are we fixated at one
down the spectrum are we fixated at one place on the spectrum and the answer is
place on the spectrum and the answer is
place on the spectrum and the answer is no that we can actually move up and down
no that we can actually move up and down
no that we can actually move up and down if we are within a healthy range that we
if we are within a healthy range that we
if we are within a healthy range that we can change ourselves to adjust to the
can change ourselves to adjust to the
can change ourselves to adjust to the situation that’s at hand that we don’t
situation that’s at hand that we don’t
situation that’s at hand that we don’t have to always feel special or always be
have to always feel special or always be
have to always feel special or always be in the shadows okay how are narcissists
in the shadows okay how are narcissists
in the shadows okay how are narcissists made this is a debate that has gone on
made this is a debate that has gone on
made this is a debate that has gone on forever
forever
forever nature versus nurture are we born
nature versus nurture are we born
nature versus nurture are we born narcissists are how does it happen I
narcissists are how does it happen I
narcissists are how does it happen I think a lot of people who’ve dealt with
think a lot of people who’ve dealt with
think a lot of people who’ve dealt with narcissists will wonder how how did this
narcissists will wonder how how did this
narcissists will wonder how how did this person become like this why are they
person become like this why are they
person become like this why are they like this and the reality of that is
like this and the reality of that is
like this and the reality of that is that narcissists are definitely made by
that narcissists are definitely made by
that narcissists are definitely made by the way they are raised and by the
the way they are raised and by the
the way they are raised and by the environment they’re they’re raised in so
environment they’re they’re raised in so
environment they’re they’re raised in so we’re obviously none of us are a blank
we’re obviously none of us are a blank
we’re obviously none of us are a blank slate we’re all born with a certain
slate we’re all born with a certain
slate we’re all born with a certain temperament right we are either
temperament right we are either
temperament right we are either we’re either born introverted born
we’re either born introverted born
we’re either born introverted born extroverted right and what happens is
extroverted right and what happens is
extroverted right and what happens is the way we are parented impacts how
the way we are parented impacts how
the way we are parented impacts how we’re gonna grow up to be so what that
we’re gonna grow up to be so what that
we’re gonna grow up to be so what that means is the core experience of whether
means is the core experience of whether
means is the core experience of whether we’re gonna go into an unhealthy or
we’re gonna go into an unhealthy or
we’re gonna go into an unhealthy or healthy range of narcissism is all based
healthy range of narcissism is all based
healthy range of narcissism is all based on one concept insecure love so as what
on one concept insecure love so as what
on one concept insecure love so as what that means is that as children we need
that means is that as children we need
that means is that as children we need to know that no matter what we do we are
to know that no matter what we do we are
to know that no matter what we do we are going to be loved
going to be loved
going to be loved no matter what we don’t do we are going
no matter what we don’t do we are going
no matter what we don’t do we are going to be loved that we don’t have to
imposture and be grandiose in order to
imposture and be grandiose in order to get the love we need from our parents or
get the love we need from our parents or
get the love we need from our parents or we don’t have to hide in the shadows to
we don’t have to hide in the shadows to
we don’t have to hide in the shadows to get the love we need from our parents
get the love we need from our parents
get the love we need from our parents so children need to grow up knowing that
so children need to grow up knowing that
so children need to grow up knowing that they are loved and supported by the
they are loved and supported by the
they are loved and supported by the people who are raising them in order for
people who are raising them in order for
people who are raising them in order for them to be adults who are in the healthy
them to be adults who are in the healthy
them to be adults who are in the healthy range of narcissism
okay so then it’s just extreme
okay so then it’s just extreme narcissism and that’s I think another
narcissism and that’s I think another
narcissism and that’s I think another entirely different TED talk but just to
entirely different TED talk but just to
entirely different TED talk but just to talk about it a little bit extreme
talk about it a little bit extreme
talk about it a little bit extreme narcissists are the people who feel
narcissists are the people who feel
narcissists are the people who feel entitled and are willing to exploit to
entitled and are willing to exploit to
entitled and are willing to exploit to get what they want so we call that in
get what they want so we call that in
get what they want so we call that in Psychological circles the EE factor
Psychological circles the EE factor
Psychological circles the EE factor exploitation and entitlement when people
exploitation and entitlement when people
exploitation and entitlement when people feel that they are special and are
feel that they are special and are
feel that they are special and are willing to do anything in order to get
willing to do anything in order to get
willing to do anything in order to get what they feel they deserve they’re
what they feel they deserve they’re
what they feel they deserve they’re willing to lie steal cheat distort ruin
willing to lie steal cheat distort ruin
willing to lie steal cheat distort ruin people’s self-esteem ruin people
people’s self-esteem ruin people
people’s self-esteem ruin people financially that’s exploitation and
financially that’s exploitation and
financially that’s exploitation and that’s where you get the extreme
that’s where you get the extreme
that’s where you get the extreme narcissists and they will they will hurt
narcissists and they will they will hurt
narcissists and they will they will hurt you and they will destroy you and
you and they will destroy you and
you and they will destroy you and they’re very very difficult to treat and
they’re very very difficult to treat and
they’re very very difficult to treat and my only advice for that is to run do not
my only advice for that is to run do not
my only advice for that is to run do not stay with them do not think you can fix
stay with them do not think you can fix
stay with them do not think you can fix them do not think you can change them
them do not think you can change them
them do not think you can change them they’re very very difficult to change so
they’re very very difficult to change so
they’re very very difficult to change so it turns out that narcissism is not so
it turns out that narcissism is not so
it turns out that narcissism is not so bad after all that the need to feel
bad after all that the need to feel
bad after all that the need to feel special can actually help us enjoy our
special can actually help us enjoy our
special can actually help us enjoy our lives more it can help us grow to our
lives more it can help us grow to our
lives more it can help us grow to our higher potential and love our family and
higher potential and love our family and
higher potential and love our family and friends even more so go out there feel
friends even more so go out there feel
friends even more so go out there feel special and have a great life with it
special and have a great life with it
special and have a great life with it thank you
thank you
thank you you
”
Be First to Comment