two roads the merged in a wood and I I took the one
merged in a wood and I I took the one
merged in a wood and I I took the one less traveled by and that has made all
less traveled by and that has made all
less traveled by and that has made all the difference I grew up in Salt Lake
the difference I grew up in Salt Lake
the difference I grew up in Salt Lake City in the Mormon Church I went to
City in the Mormon Church I went to
City in the Mormon Church I went to church every Sunday
church every Sunday
church every Sunday study the scriptures sang hymns went to
study the scriptures sang hymns went to
study the scriptures sang hymns went to young woman’s on Wednesday nights the
young woman’s on Wednesday nights the
young woman’s on Wednesday nights the church was central to my upbringing in
church was central to my upbringing in
church was central to my upbringing in my childhood and I’m not a member of the
my childhood and I’m not a member of the
my childhood and I’m not a member of the church anymore and on the surface that
church anymore and on the surface that
church anymore and on the surface that might seem like a whole lot of wasted
might seem like a whole lot of wasted
might seem like a whole lot of wasted time and energy but my upbringing in the
time and energy but my upbringing in the
time and energy but my upbringing in the church shaped some parts of my
church shaped some parts of my
church shaped some parts of my personality that have become
personality that have become
personality that have become foundational and essential to the work
foundational and essential to the work
foundational and essential to the work that I’m doing now one of those is a
that I’m doing now one of those is a
that I’m doing now one of those is a deep and abiding love for and dedication
deep and abiding love for and dedication
deep and abiding love for and dedication to children the other is a stubborn and
to children the other is a stubborn and
to children the other is a stubborn and persistent belief in the power of
persistent belief in the power of
persistent belief in the power of unconditional love so I finished high
unconditional love so I finished high
unconditional love so I finished high school I started college at Brigham
school I started college at Brigham
school I started college at Brigham Young University I went on a mission for
Young University I went on a mission for
Young University I went on a mission for the church I came home got married moved
the church I came home got married moved
the church I came home got married moved across the country so my husband could
across the country so my husband could
across the country so my husband could do his PhD and we decided that we wanted
do his PhD and we decided that we wanted
do his PhD and we decided that we wanted to start a family not long after that I
to start a family not long after that I
to start a family not long after that I found myself in a hospital bed with a
found myself in a hospital bed with a
found myself in a hospital bed with a very sweet doctor holding my hand and
very sweet doctor holding my hand and
very sweet doctor holding my hand and telling me that I was not going to be
telling me that I was not going to be
telling me that I was not going to be able to get pregnant I was not going to
able to get pregnant I was not going to
able to get pregnant I was not going to be able to have children in the way that
be able to have children in the way that
be able to have children in the way that I had planned to for most of my life
about a week later I was sitting on the
about a week later I was sitting on the front row in church as I did every week
front row in church as I did every week
front row in church as I did every week trying to process this new information
and it happened to be baby blessing
and it happened to be baby blessing Sunday because that’s just what life
Sunday because that’s just what life
Sunday because that’s just what life does to you so I’m sitting there on the
does to you so I’m sitting there on the
does to you so I’m sitting there on the front row and listening to these women
front row and listening to these women
front row and listening to these women get up and express their gratitude and
get up and express their gratitude and
get up and express their gratitude and love for their new babies and I caught
love for their new babies and I caught
love for their new babies and I caught myself having horrible thoughts about
myself having horrible thoughts about
myself having horrible thoughts about these women and their families jealousy
these women and their families jealousy
these women and their families jealousy resentment anger how dare she
resentment anger how dare she
resentment anger how dare she and luckily I caught myself mid thought
and luckily I caught myself mid thought
and luckily I caught myself mid thought and It was as if there were two career
and It was as if there were two career
and It was as if there were two career paths right in front of me
paths right in front of me
paths right in front of me and the one I was heading down at that
and the one I was heading down at that
and the one I was heading down at that very moment was full of separation and
very moment was full of separation and
very moment was full of separation and anger and resentment separation from
anger and resentment separation from
anger and resentment separation from women who had children disconnection
women who had children disconnection
women who had children disconnection from pregnant women and even children my
from pregnant women and even children my
from pregnant women and even children my own nieces and nephews my sisters-in-law
own nieces and nephews my sisters-in-law
own nieces and nephews my sisters-in-law I did not want to go down that road the
I did not want to go down that road the
I did not want to go down that road the other road was unknown to me but I knew
other road was unknown to me but I knew
other road was unknown to me but I knew the first step it was a question of
the first step it was a question of
the first step it was a question of resistance or acceptance so I sat on the
resistance or acceptance so I sat on the
resistance or acceptance so I sat on the front row of that church and I let the
front row of that church and I let the
front row of that church and I let the tears roll down my face and accepted now
tears roll down my face and accepted now
tears roll down my face and accepted now the unknowns that were going to come up
the unknowns that were going to come up
the unknowns that were going to come up in my life and how could I have known
in my life and how could I have known
in my life and how could I have known that down that unplanned 4 pathway was a
that down that unplanned 4 pathway was a
that down that unplanned 4 pathway was a beautiful little baby boy who would
beautiful little baby boy who would
beautiful little baby boy who would become the love of my life and even now
become the love of my life and even now
become the love of my life and even now so many years later when I look at his
so many years later when I look at his
so many years later when I look at his face
face
face sometimes I see his birth mother’s face
sometimes I see his birth mother’s face
sometimes I see his birth mother’s face her eyes her mouth it’s one of the most
her eyes her mouth it’s one of the most
her eyes her mouth it’s one of the most cherished face
cherished face
cherished face as I have ever seen and one of the most
as I have ever seen and one of the most
as I have ever seen and one of the most cherished moments of my life was being
cherished moments of my life was being
cherished moments of my life was being able to put my arms around her and say
able to put my arms around her and say
able to put my arms around her and say in her ear thank you because what else
in her ear thank you because what else
in her ear thank you because what else do you say to such a gift that
do you say to such a gift that
do you say to such a gift that experience and she taught me things
experience and she taught me things
experience and she taught me things about unconditional love and selflessly
about unconditional love and selflessly
about unconditional love and selflessly selflessness that I don’t think I could
selflessness that I don’t think I could
selflessness that I don’t think I could have learned any other way less than a
have learned any other way less than a
have learned any other way less than a year after my son came into my life I
year after my son came into my life I
year after my son came into my life I found myself at another major divergence
found myself at another major divergence
found myself at another major divergence in my life’s path I have a crystal clear
in my life’s path I have a crystal clear
in my life’s path I have a crystal clear memory of sitting at a stoplight with my
memory of sitting at a stoplight with my
memory of sitting at a stoplight with my baby asleep in the back of the car and
baby asleep in the back of the car and
baby asleep in the back of the car and agonizing over whether I was going to
agonizing over whether I was going to
agonizing over whether I was going to turn left toward home and husband and
turn left toward home and husband and
turn left toward home and husband and church and a life that I knew or whether
church and a life that I knew or whether
church and a life that I knew or whether I was going to turn right toward the
I was going to turn right toward the
I was going to turn right toward the woman with whom I was beginning to fall
woman with whom I was beginning to fall
woman with whom I was beginning to fall deeply in love I turned right which is
deeply in love I turned right which is
deeply in love I turned right which is why I’m here on this stage today and
why I’m here on this stage today and
why I’m here on this stage today and it’s also why after many twists and
it’s also why after many twists and
it’s also why after many twists and turns and trials both literal and
turns and trials both literal and
turns and trials both literal and figurative and lots of support from so
figurative and lots of support from so
figurative and lots of support from so many wonderful people because none of us
many wonderful people because none of us
many wonderful people because none of us travels any path alone I landed at a
travels any path alone I landed at a
travels any path alone I landed at a wonderful little charter school run by
wonderful little charter school run by
wonderful little charter school run by community members and dedicated to the
community members and dedicated to the
community members and dedicated to the holistic education of children dedicated
holistic education of children dedicated
holistic education of children dedicated to raising up intrinsically motivated
to raising up intrinsically motivated
to raising up intrinsically motivated lifelong learners I was the first school
lifelong learners I was the first school
lifelong learners I was the first school counselor to be hired there and I walked
counselor to be hired there and I walked
counselor to be hired there and I walked into the principal’s office on my first
into the principal’s office on my first
into the principal’s office on my first day and I said what do you want me to do
day and I said what do you want me to do
day and I said what do you want me to do and she said and I am not kidding this
and she said and I am not kidding this
and she said and I am not kidding this is a true story she said whatever you
is a true story she said whatever you
is a true story she said whatever you want so at that point in my life I had
want so at that point in my life I had
want so at that point in my life I had learned the
learned the
learned the credible value of preparing children to
credible value of preparing children to
credible value of preparing children to navigate life the unexpectedness of it
navigate life the unexpectedness of it
navigate life the unexpectedness of it the hardships the trials so I set out to
the hardships the trials so I set out to
the hardships the trials so I set out to create a program that would help them do
create a program that would help them do
create a program that would help them do just that it has been an incredibly rich
just that it has been an incredibly rich
just that it has been an incredibly rich journey we laugh together we cry
journey we laugh together we cry
journey we laugh together we cry together we dance we watch movies we
together we dance we watch movies we
together we dance we watch movies we read stories we discuss things we heal
read stories we discuss things we heal
read stories we discuss things we heal we share and there’s there are far too
we share and there’s there are far too
we share and there’s there are far too many experiences to tell you about here
many experiences to tell you about here
many experiences to tell you about here today but I want to tell you about one
today but I want to tell you about one
today but I want to tell you about one of my very favorite moments I was
of my very favorite moments I was
of my very favorite moments I was walking in from my car pickup duty one
walking in from my car pickup duty one
walking in from my car pickup duty one day at the end of the day and I looked
day at the end of the day and I looked
day at the end of the day and I looked up and I saw this and I walked up to the
up and I saw this and I walked up to the
up and I saw this and I walked up to the other teacher who was on duty and I said
other teacher who was on duty and I said
other teacher who was on duty and I said what is he doing and she said I don’t
what is he doing and she said I don’t
what is he doing and she said I don’t know he did this yesterday because if
know he did this yesterday because if
know he did this yesterday because if you’re going to meditate why not do it
you’re going to meditate why not do it
you’re going to meditate why not do it with a lunchbox on your head it’s far
with a lunchbox on your head it’s far
with a lunchbox on your head it’s far more interesting it’s so wonderful to
more interesting it’s so wonderful to
more interesting it’s so wonderful to see these children take the things that
see these children take the things that
see these children take the things that they learn and implement them in the
they learn and implement them in the
they learn and implement them in the most innovative and creative ways and
most innovative and creative ways and
most innovative and creative ways and they always do my friends we find
they always do my friends we find
they always do my friends we find ourselves at a crossroads at a
ourselves at a crossroads at a
ourselves at a crossroads at a divergence in our pathway in the pathway
divergence in our pathway in the pathway
divergence in our pathway in the pathway of humankind and we are going to have to
of humankind and we are going to have to
of humankind and we are going to have to make a choice are we going to keep
make a choice are we going to keep
make a choice are we going to keep traveling the road that we’ve been
traveling the road that we’ve been
traveling the road that we’ve been traveling we know where that road is
traveling we know where that road is
traveling we know where that road is going to lead we see it on the news
going to lead we see it on the news
going to lead we see it on the news every day are we going to keep doing
every day are we going to keep doing
every day are we going to keep doing things the same way we’ve been doing
things the same way we’ve been doing
things the same way we’ve been doing them or are we going to step onto that
them or are we going to step onto that
them or are we going to step onto that road less traveled or that road never
road less traveled or that road never
road less traveled or that road never try
and I don’t know everything about what
and I don’t know everything about what that would look like so I want to tell
that would look like so I want to tell
that would look like so I want to tell you the pieces that I do know one is
you the pieces that I do know one is
you the pieces that I do know one is that if we are going to change the story
that if we are going to change the story
that if we are going to change the story of our culture of our human culture we
of our culture of our human culture we
of our culture of our human culture we must do better by our children
must do better by our children
must do better by our children especially in our educational systems
especially in our educational systems
especially in our educational systems our children need less noise and more
our children need less noise and more
our children need less noise and more silence and quiet we saw that they’re
silence and quiet we saw that they’re
silence and quiet we saw that they’re crying out for it they need fewer
crying out for it they need fewer
crying out for it they need fewer standardized tests and evaluations and
standardized tests and evaluations and
standardized tests and evaluations and more playtime and social time less
more playtime and social time less
more playtime and social time less screen time and not just for them for
screen time and not just for them for
screen time and not just for them for the adults around them less screen time
the adults around them less screen time
the adults around them less screen time and more connecting time fewer drugs and
and more connecting time fewer drugs and
and more connecting time fewer drugs and more mindfulness here’s the side piece
more mindfulness here’s the side piece
more mindfulness here’s the side piece to this if we are going to do better by
to this if we are going to do better by
to this if we are going to do better by our children we must first do better by
our children we must first do better by
our children we must first do better by ourselves we are the instruments who
ourselves we are the instruments who
ourselves we are the instruments who serve them and we cannot give to them
serve them and we cannot give to them
serve them and we cannot give to them what we do not have so no more self
what we do not have so no more self
what we do not have so no more self judgment and self deprecation no more
judgment and self deprecation no more
judgment and self deprecation no more trying to cut out pieces of our
trying to cut out pieces of our
trying to cut out pieces of our personalities and our pasts we must love
personalities and our pasts we must love
personalities and our pasts we must love ourselves so that we can love them
for my part I am going to continue to
for my part I am going to continue to work and not tirelessly I get very tired
work and not tirelessly I get very tired
work and not tirelessly I get very tired but I’m going to continue to work to
but I’m going to continue to work to
but I’m going to continue to work to shift the systems that serve our
shift the systems that serve our
shift the systems that serve our children I invite you today my friends
children I invite you today my friends
children I invite you today my friends my human family to take my hand and step
my human family to take my hand and step
my human family to take my hand and step onto that unknown pathway with me
onto that unknown pathway with me
onto that unknown pathway with me together we have everything that we need
together we have everything that we need
together we have everything that we need to change our story thank you
”
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