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If you must fail, fail successfully | Joanna Young | TEDxYouth@SJCS |


when I was in grade six I was vying for

when I was in grade six I was vying for the gold medal and the annual st. you

the gold medal and the annual st. you

the gold medal and the annual st. you with Catholic school spelling bee in

with Catholic school spelling bee in

with Catholic school spelling bee in these same halls I was up against my

these same halls I was up against my

these same halls I was up against my good friend Danny and the word was femme

good friend Danny and the word was femme

good friend Danny and the word was femme fatale

fatale

fatale I knew this word I had studied it before

I knew this word I had studied it before

I knew this word I had studied it before in my dog ear dictionary I remember

in my dog ear dictionary I remember

in my dog ear dictionary I remember exactly that it meant sexy dangerous

exactly that it meant sexy dangerous

exactly that it meant sexy dangerous lady in French well in my haste and I

lady in French well in my haste and I

lady in French well in my haste and I guess overconfidence however I forgot to

guess overconfidence however I forgot to

guess overconfidence however I forgot to spell it with a letter e at the end

spell it with a letter e at the end

spell it with a letter e at the end needless to say I never quite forgot

needless to say I never quite forgot

needless to say I never quite forgot that it perhaps is the most acute memory

that it perhaps is the most acute memory

that it perhaps is the most acute memory that I have of failure one that remains

that I have of failure one that remains

that I have of failure one that remains vivid under the day when you talk about

vivid under the day when you talk about

vivid under the day when you talk about failure you often do so with much less

failure you often do so with much less

failure you often do so with much less fervor and much less excitement then

fervor and much less excitement then

fervor and much less excitement then it’s more marketed sibling success but

it’s more marketed sibling success but

it’s more marketed sibling success but failure is not Babu failure is not a

failure is not Babu failure is not a

failure is not Babu failure is not a fault to fail is actually to indulge to

fault to fail is actually to indulge to

fault to fail is actually to indulge to the first attempt and learning without

the first attempt and learning without

the first attempt and learning without which he wouldn’t be able to progress

which he wouldn’t be able to progress

which he wouldn’t be able to progress even further when I graduated from st.

even further when I graduated from st.

even further when I graduated from st. Jude I was over the moon to be accepted

Jude I was over the moon to be accepted

Jude I was over the moon to be accepted into my dream school the Ateneo however

into my dream school the Ateneo however

into my dream school the Ateneo however I had nothing to my name I the Merit

I had nothing to my name I the Merit

I had nothing to my name I the Merit Scholar I was an even part of the

Scholar I was an even part of the

Scholar I was an even part of the directors list which has thought 2% of

directors list which has thought 2% of

directors list which has thought 2% of the examinees I had nothing but a

the examinees I had nothing but a

the examinees I had nothing but a pitiful merit English class enrollment

pitiful merit English class enrollment

pitiful merit English class enrollment under my name Lester decorated

under my name Lester decorated

under my name Lester decorated classmates and friends got more got

classmates and friends got more got

classmates and friends got more got farther and in my head yes hashtag first

farther and in my head yes hashtag first

farther and in my head yes hashtag first world problems I felt like was a failure

world problems I felt like was a failure

world problems I felt like was a failure I stare down so many silent questions

I stare down so many silent questions

I stare down so many silent questions from relatives and friends whose eyes

from relatives and friends whose eyes

from relatives and friends whose eyes seemed to bore into my soul asking so

seemed to bore into my soul asking so

seemed to bore into my soul asking so what happened to you I thought you were

what happened to you I thought you were

what happened to you I thought you were smart I felt like my alternative theory

smart I felt like my alternative theory

smart I felt like my alternative theory that intellect and luck was finite was

that intellect and luck was finite was

that intellect and luck was finite was finally coming true and that mind was

finally coming true and that mind was

finally coming true and that mind was running out I started getting low grades

running out I started getting low grades

running out I started getting low grades I got my first test and my biology long

I got my first test and my biology long

I got my first test and my biology long test my mother and the audience would

test my mother and the audience would

test my mother and the audience would remember me crying to her after taking

remember me crying to her after taking

remember me crying to her after taking the other T on the ride home I was

the other T on the ride home I was

the other T on the ride home I was thinking to myself I was such a small

thinking to myself I was such a small

thinking to myself I was such a small fish in a big pond I wish I wish I could

fish in a big pond I wish I wish I could

fish in a big pond I wish I wish I could just

just

just in that time I felt like I just wasn’t

in that time I felt like I just wasn’t

in that time I felt like I just wasn’t good enough that perhaps I never was

good enough that perhaps I never was

good enough that perhaps I never was when people ask me where I graduated

when people ask me where I graduated

when people ask me where I graduated from I would always say st. Jude but I

from I would always say st. Jude but I

from I would always say st. Jude but I would be very careful not to talk about

would be very careful not to talk about

would be very careful not to talk about my past achievements lest they judge me

my past achievements lest they judge me

my past achievements lest they judge me for my current lack of them in the same

for my current lack of them in the same

for my current lack of them in the same way we tend to keep quiet whenever we

way we tend to keep quiet whenever we

way we tend to keep quiet whenever we have a job application coming up or a

have a job application coming up or a

have a job application coming up or a competition in the works I kept quiet

competition in the works I kept quiet

competition in the works I kept quiet because I let my fear of failure

because I let my fear of failure

because I let my fear of failure rumi I’d like to ask the audience to and

rumi I’d like to ask the audience to and

rumi I’d like to ask the audience to and build me for a moment show of hands

build me for a moment show of hands

build me for a moment show of hands please who among you here want to

please who among you here want to

please who among you here want to succeed who among you here want to fail

who among you here fear success and who

who among you here fear success and who among you here fear failure ladies and

among you here fear failure ladies and

among you here fear failure ladies and gentlemen this show of hands is already

gentlemen this show of hands is already

gentlemen this show of hands is already a case in point when we talk about

a case in point when we talk about

a case in point when we talk about failure we often talk about it with

failure we often talk about it with

failure we often talk about it with muchness with a lot of negativity with a

muchness with a lot of negativity with a

muchness with a lot of negativity with a lot of apprehension and a lot of anxiety

lot of apprehension and a lot of anxiety

lot of apprehension and a lot of anxiety but we forget that failure is actually

but we forget that failure is actually

but we forget that failure is actually good people ask me off what have you

good people ask me off what have you

good people ask me off what have you failed that JC and it answered them a

failed that JC and it answered them a

failed that JC and it answered them a lot

lot

lot this is actually an a picture of a

this is actually an a picture of a

this is actually an a picture of a post-it that’s been stuck to my bathroom

post-it that’s been stuck to my bathroom

post-it that’s been stuck to my bathroom wall for the last five years I first put

wall for the last five years I first put

wall for the last five years I first put it up there when I was objective failing

it up there when I was objective failing

it up there when I was objective failing at my first job out of college but if

at my first job out of college but if

at my first job out of college but if you think about it

you think about it

you think about it failure is good because it grounds you

failure is good because it grounds you

failure is good because it grounds you it motivates you to do better it reminds

it motivates you to do better it reminds

it motivates you to do better it reminds you then that you’re not invincible it

you then that you’re not invincible it

you then that you’re not invincible it doesn’t really matter how large your

doesn’t really matter how large your

doesn’t really matter how large your definition of failure is or what how you

definition of failure is or what how you

definition of failure is or what how you define it what matters is your reaction

define it what matters is your reaction

define it what matters is your reaction to this lack of success Dee’s shirt from

to this lack of success Dee’s shirt from

to this lack of success Dee’s shirt from it or do you embrace it do you run away

it or do you embrace it do you run away

it or do you embrace it do you run away from it or do you let yourself be

from it or do you let yourself be

from it or do you let yourself be enveloped by a thief step into the fire

enveloped by a thief step into the fire

enveloped by a thief step into the fire of failure allowing yourself to be

of failure allowing yourself to be

of failure allowing yourself to be forged into a better you it I guess I

forged into a better you it I guess I

forged into a better you it I guess I haven’t failed at the magnitude that

haven’t failed at the magnitude that

haven’t failed at the magnitude that people expect me to or perhaps hope I

people expect me to or perhaps hope I

people expect me to or perhaps hope I would but I have failed quite often

would but I have failed quite often

would but I have failed quite often enough to form this principle which just

enough to form this principle which just

enough to form this principle which just guided me until today fear pointless

guided me until today fear pointless

guided me until today fear pointless failure and fear easy success when I was

failure and fear easy success when I was

failure and fear easy success when I was in the second semester of my fresh

in the second semester of my fresh

in the second semester of my fresh freshman year and at the nail a really

freshman year and at the nail a really

freshman year and at the nail a really smart classmate of mine asked me he’s

smart classmate of mine asked me he’s

smart classmate of mine asked me he’s from Ateneo high a boy he asked me so

from Ateneo high a boy he asked me so

from Ateneo high a boy he asked me so young what UPI did you get so out of 4

young what UPI did you get so out of 4

young what UPI did you get so out of 4 with 4 being the highest rather York UPI

with 4 being the highest rather York UPI

with 4 being the highest rather York UPI or your quality point index and

or your quality point index and

or your quality point index and Compass’s your worth as a human person

Compass’s your worth as a human person

Compass’s your worth as a human person or at least as a student studying and

or at least as a student studying and

or at least as a student studying and they acted even the overachievers in the

they acted even the overachievers in the

they acted even the overachievers in the audience with know exactly what I mean I

audience with know exactly what I mean I

audience with know exactly what I mean I was young I was naive i blithely and

was young I was naive i blithely and

was young I was naive i blithely and even joyfully answered him with it

even joyfully answered him with it

even joyfully answered him with it saying I got 3.16

saying I got 3.16

saying I got 3.16 about you for the record 3.16 is not

about you for the record 3.16 is not

about you for the record 3.16 is not super horrible it’s between bb+ but for

super horrible it’s between bb+ but for

super horrible it’s between bb+ but for my friend who got something close to

my friend who got something close to

my friend who got something close to four he looked me up and down as if

four he looked me up and down as if

four he looked me up and down as if seeming to assess my worthiness to be in

seeming to assess my worthiness to be in

seeming to assess my worthiness to be in his presence and she just replied with a

his presence and she just replied with a

his presence and she just replied with a deadpan voice ah 3.16 Kalam that

deadpan voice ah 3.16 Kalam that

deadpan voice ah 3.16 Kalam that statement stirred so many feelings in me

statement stirred so many feelings in me

statement stirred so many feelings in me that I didn’t know I had that spurred me

that I didn’t know I had that spurred me

that I didn’t know I had that spurred me to do so much better than next semester

to do so much better than next semester

to do so much better than next semester at drove me to get 3.7 3.0 3.9 all the

at drove me to get 3.7 3.0 3.9 all the

at drove me to get 3.7 3.0 3.9 all the way until graduation

way until graduation

way until graduation when it was between me and him for a

when it was between me and him for a

when it was between me and him for a couple of awards and when we were up on

couple of awards and when we were up on

couple of awards and when we were up on that stage and when you’re actually

that stage and when you’re actually

that stage and when you’re actually having her photo taken together he

having her photo taken together he

having her photo taken together he congratulated me and I turned to him and

congratulated me and I turned to him and

congratulated me and I turned to him and seriously and profusely thanked him for

seriously and profusely thanked him for

seriously and profusely thanked him for what he’s done the say he was surprised

what he’s done the say he was surprised

what he’s done the say he was surprised as an understatement he didn’t even

as an understatement he didn’t even

as an understatement he didn’t even remember that he had that encounter four

remember that he had that encounter four

remember that he had that encounter four years ago but that’s what I mean by

years ago but that’s what I mean by

years ago but that’s what I mean by having success or fearing easy success

having success or fearing easy success

having success or fearing easy success because having success come easy doesn’t

because having success come easy doesn’t

because having success come easy doesn’t do you any favors it doesn’t teach you

do you any favors it doesn’t teach you

do you any favors it doesn’t teach you about resilience that muscle that you

about resilience that muscle that you

about resilience that muscle that you need to work on in order to get stronger

need to work on in order to get stronger

need to work on in order to get stronger at it it doesn’t eat you about hard work

at it it doesn’t eat you about hard work

at it it doesn’t eat you about hard work it doesn’t teach you about that what got

it doesn’t teach you about that what got

it doesn’t teach you about that what got you here will not be the same sets of

you here will not be the same sets of

you here will not be the same sets of skills and abilities that will get you

skills and abilities that will get you

skills and abilities that will get you to the next step and worse it teaches

to the next step and worse it teaches

to the next step and worse it teaches you that life is a better process when

you that life is a better process when

you that life is a better process when it’s not look around at all the people

it’s not look around at all the people

it’s not look around at all the people who’ve had life throw them curveballs

who’ve had life throw them curveballs

who’ve had life throw them curveballs wasn’t their motivation higher than the

wasn’t their motivation higher than the

wasn’t their motivation higher than the average fear pointless failure and fear

average fear pointless failure and fear

average fear pointless failure and fear easy success I have an admission to me

easy success I have an admission to me

easy success I have an admission to me I’m actually a very frustrated writer I

I’m actually a very frustrated writer I

I’m actually a very frustrated writer I can’t recall the number of times that

can’t recall the number of times that

can’t recall the number of times that have passed a literary piece to the

have passed a literary piece to the

have passed a literary piece to the publication’s in college only to never

publication’s in college only to never

publication’s in college only to never really realize my dream of seeing my

really realize my dream of seeing my

really realize my dream of seeing my name on print I it wasn’t until I saw

name on print I it wasn’t until I saw

name on print I it wasn’t until I saw the first testament of my first book

the first testament of my first book

the first testament of my first book that the publisher that I realized I had

that the publisher that I realized I had

that the publisher that I realized I had failed because I didn’t give so much of

failed because I didn’t give so much of

failed because I didn’t give so much of myself in it I recycled assignments that

myself in it I recycled assignments that

myself in it I recycled assignments that were written for English class I passed

were written for English class I passed

were written for English class I passed first Jaffe’s written in language

first Jaffe’s written in language

first Jaffe’s written in language transportation

transportation

transportation I never really took the time to hone my

I never really took the time to hone my

I never really took the time to hone my writing cast even further

writing cast even further

writing cast even further unlike the eight months that I spent

unlike the eight months that I spent

unlike the eight months that I spent researching writing greeting editing

researching writing greeting editing

researching writing greeting editing revising and rewriting this labor of

revising and rewriting this labor of

revising and rewriting this labor of love of ours with my co-author in

love of ours with my co-author in

love of ours with my co-author in Monteria which was by no means an easy

Monteria which was by no means an easy

Monteria which was by no means an easy feat for two women who had too little

feat for two women who had too little

feat for two women who had too little time on their hands as it is but even

time on their hands as it is but even

time on their hands as it is but even moments of success are neither perfect

moments of success are neither perfect

moments of success are neither perfect nor permanent this is the actual table

nor permanent this is the actual table

nor permanent this is the actual table of contents that went out to print and

of contents that went out to print and

of contents that went out to print and can you spot the knot it’s a bit small

can you spot the knot it’s a bit small

can you spot the knot it’s a bit small but as a grammar nazi’ I take particular

but as a grammar nazi’ I take particular

but as a grammar nazi’ I take particular pride and everything that I write or

pride and everything that I write or

pride and everything that I write or everything that goes through me it makes

everything that goes through me it makes

everything that goes through me it makes me cringe however every single time that

me cringe however every single time that

me cringe however every single time that I realize her that I remember I

I realize her that I remember I

I realize her that I remember I painstakingly went through every single

painstakingly went through every single

painstakingly went through every single page subsequent to this table of

page subsequent to this table of

page subsequent to this table of contents just to make sure that

contents just to make sure that

contents just to make sure that formatting was perfect

formatting was perfect

formatting was perfect grammar was correct punctuation and

grammar was correct punctuation and

grammar was correct punctuation and spelling were at bar only failing to

spelling were at bar only failing to

spelling were at bar only failing to undergo quality check on the one page

undergo quality check on the one page

undergo quality check on the one page I’m pretty sure everyone who bought my

I’m pretty sure everyone who bought my

I’m pretty sure everyone who bought my book would get two I got I spelled

book would get two I got I spelled

book would get two I got I spelled classification with an extra I the point

classification with an extra I the point

classification with an extra I the point is we will always make mistakes and we

is we will always make mistakes and we

is we will always make mistakes and we will always make failures but the idea

will always make failures but the idea

will always make failures but the idea is not to keep count of how many you

is not to keep count of how many you

is not to keep count of how many you wrapped up in your life no matter how

wrapped up in your life no matter how

wrapped up in your life no matter how long or short it is the idea is to make

long or short it is the idea is to make

long or short it is the idea is to make them count every single time to remember

them count every single time to remember

them count every single time to remember it and to not repeat it to make it work

it and to not repeat it to make it work

it and to not repeat it to make it work for you instead of the other way around

Emma’s fan of code so allow me to share

Emma’s fan of code so allow me to share with you a personal favorite of mine and

with you a personal favorite of mine and

with you a personal favorite of mine and I think sir Odie has already alluded to

I think sir Odie has already alluded to

I think sir Odie has already alluded to it earlier it’s your attitude not your

it earlier it’s your attitude not your

it earlier it’s your attitude not your aptitude that determines your altitude

aptitude that determines your altitude

aptitude that determines your altitude this was spoken by Zig Ziglar for the

this was spoken by Zig Ziglar for the

this was spoken by Zig Ziglar for the longest time I just thought that this

longest time I just thought that this

longest time I just thought that this was the proverbial battle between EQ and

was the proverbial battle between EQ and

was the proverbial battle between EQ and IQ you know how how we placed such a

IQ you know how how we placed such a

IQ you know how how we placed such a huge importance on technical skills over

huge importance on technical skills over

huge importance on technical skills over E overpowering people skills but at the

E overpowering people skills but at the

E overpowering people skills but at the end of the day it’s Feeny our soft

end of the day it’s Feeny our soft

end of the day it’s Feeny our soft skills that went out at the end it

skills that went out at the end it

skills that went out at the end it wasn’t until after five years in the

wasn’t until after five years in the

wasn’t until after five years in the workforce that this adage

workforce that this adage

workforce that this adage this maxim has taken on a completely new

this maxim has taken on a completely new

this maxim has taken on a completely new meaning for me I don’t think I was

meaning for me I don’t think I was

meaning for me I don’t think I was invited to speak before you here today

invited to speak before you here today

invited to speak before you here today because I’m the greatest failure nor

because I’m the greatest failure nor

because I’m the greatest failure nor success st. Jude Catholic school has

success st. Jude Catholic school has

success st. Jude Catholic school has ever produced I do think I’m here to

ever produced I do think I’m here to

ever produced I do think I’m here to tell you however that neither success

tell you however that neither success

tell you however that neither success nor failure is an end state rather

nor failure is an end state rather

nor failure is an end state rather they’re simply the catalysts are the

they’re simply the catalysts are the

they’re simply the catalysts are the pivotal moments from which you must

pivotal moments from which you must

pivotal moments from which you must always ask ourselves so what what now

always ask ourselves so what what now

always ask ourselves so what what now how do I move on or how do I move

how do I move on or how do I move

how do I move on or how do I move forward because the minute you start

forward because the minute you start

forward because the minute you start resting on your laurels for the people

resting on your laurels for the people

resting on your laurels for the people who are enjoying a bit of success at

who are enjoying a bit of success at

who are enjoying a bit of success at this point in their lives

this point in their lives

this point in their lives the minute you rest on your laurels you

the minute you rest on your laurels you

the minute you rest on your laurels you allow your someone else to people behind

allow your someone else to people behind

allow your someone else to people behind you and meet you if on the other hand

you and meet you if on the other hand

you and meet you if on the other hand you feel like you have some improvements

you feel like you have some improvements

you feel like you have some improvements to make and you realize or the second

to make and you realize or the second

to make and you realize or the second that rather that you second-guess

that rather that you second-guess

that rather that you second-guess yourself you don’t allow yourself that

yourself you don’t allow yourself that

yourself you don’t allow yourself that responsibility and that chance to dust

responsibility and that chance to dust

responsibility and that chance to dust yourself off and try again

yourself off and try again

yourself off and try again I implore the youth of the day two

I implore the youth of the day two

I implore the youth of the day two things forget your successes right away

things forget your successes right away

things forget your successes right away but never ever forget your failures

but never ever forget your failures

but never ever forget your failures undocumented unglamorous the staying

undocumented unglamorous the staying

undocumented unglamorous the staying power of your failures far surpasses and

power of your failures far surpasses and

power of your failures far surpasses and is far more potent than any other frame

is far more potent than any other frame

is far more potent than any other frame certificate shiny medal or heavy trophy

certificate shiny medal or heavy trophy

certificate shiny medal or heavy trophy that they bestow upon you as I always

that they bestow upon you as I always

that they bestow upon you as I always tell my kids or the people the people in

tell my kids or the people the people in

tell my kids or the people the people in privilege to mentor you’re only as good

privilege to mentor you’re only as good

privilege to mentor you’re only as good as your last success but you’re already

as your last success but you’re already

as your last success but you’re already always better than your last failure

always better than your last failure

always better than your last failure when I was in grade six

when I was in grade six

when I was in grade six I was vying for the gold medal in the

I was vying for the gold medal in the

I was vying for the gold medal in the annual Spelling Bee and he’s very host I

annual Spelling Bee and he’s very host I

annual Spelling Bee and he’s very host I was just about to spell the word femme

was just about to spell the word femme

was just about to spell the word femme fatale but I forgot to spell it with a

fatale but I forgot to spell it with a

fatale but I forgot to spell it with a letter e at the end I never quite forgot

letter e at the end I never quite forgot

letter e at the end I never quite forgot that because I didn’t get to have my

that because I didn’t get to have my

that because I didn’t get to have my name published on the Chinese yearbook

name published on the Chinese yearbook

name published on the Chinese yearbook as how I would have wanted it to perhaps

as how I would have wanted it to perhaps

as how I would have wanted it to perhaps because it was the most acute failure

because it was the most acute failure

because it was the most acute failure that I remember perhaps more so because

that I remember perhaps more so because

that I remember perhaps more so because I proposed idli made it into my first

I proposed idli made it into my first

I proposed idli made it into my first yahoo email address very much active

yahoo email address very much active

yahoo email address very much active until today

until today

until today just so I never do forget thank you very

just so I never do forget thank you very

just so I never do forget thank you very much

much

much [Applause]

”

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