Wow good evening how’s everyone doing okay I am here to talk about challenging
okay I am here to talk about challenging
okay I am here to talk about challenging bullies for dummies now what do I mean
bullies for dummies now what do I mean
bullies for dummies now what do I mean by that firstly if you don’t have a
by that firstly if you don’t have a
by that firstly if you don’t have a problem with a bully or an aggressive
problem with a bully or an aggressive
problem with a bully or an aggressive person if you can handle that kind of
person if you can handle that kind of
person if you can handle that kind of thing and not be manipulated by people
thing and not be manipulated by people
thing and not be manipulated by people who do that kind of stuff
who do that kind of stuff
who do that kind of stuff fair play it well done that’s really
fair play it well done that’s really
fair play it well done that’s really really good I’m sure you’ve plenty of
really good I’m sure you’ve plenty of
really good I’m sure you’ve plenty of other flaws you can work on like the
other flaws you can work on like the
other flaws you can work on like the rest of us and keep on going until you
rest of us and keep on going until you
rest of us and keep on going until you die you try to be the best version of
die you try to be the best version of
die you try to be the best version of yourself but for a lot of people I’m
yourself but for a lot of people I’m
yourself but for a lot of people I’m sure there’s a lot of people in this
sure there’s a lot of people in this
sure there’s a lot of people in this room who might feel this way the idea of
room who might feel this way the idea of
room who might feel this way the idea of being threatened or intimidated on any
being threatened or intimidated on any
being threatened or intimidated on any level whether it’s in the street in the
level whether it’s in the street in the
level whether it’s in the street in the workplace by a probably soon-to-be-ex
workplace by a probably soon-to-be-ex
workplace by a probably soon-to-be-ex partner or in any way shape or form to
partner or in any way shape or form to
partner or in any way shape or form to stand up and call out that behavior and
stand up and call out that behavior and
stand up and call out that behavior and try to neutralize it
try to neutralize it
try to neutralize it certainly not escalated it’s terrifying
certainly not escalated it’s terrifying
certainly not escalated it’s terrifying it’s awkward it’s uncomfortable because
it’s awkward it’s uncomfortable because
it’s awkward it’s uncomfortable because we as human beings we don’t move towards
we as human beings we don’t move towards
we as human beings we don’t move towards comfort or discomfort we move away from
comfort or discomfort we move away from
comfort or discomfort we move away from awkwardness it’s just part of our
awkwardness it’s just part of our
awkwardness it’s just part of our self-preservation brain see bullying is
self-preservation brain see bullying is
self-preservation brain see bullying is a power play and by that it’s an attempt
a power play and by that it’s an attempt
a power play and by that it’s an attempt by somebody to dominate another person
by somebody to dominate another person
by somebody to dominate another person now why does somebody bullied well
now why does somebody bullied well
now why does somebody bullied well that’s a big question probably for
that’s a big question probably for
that’s a big question probably for academic conferences and so forth but
academic conferences and so forth but
academic conferences and so forth but the general line from psychology is that
the general line from psychology is that
the general line from psychology is that bullies are often weak they’ve been
bullies are often weak they’ve been
bullies are often weak they’ve been traumatized they were bullied themselves
traumatized they were bullied themselves
traumatized they were bullied themselves they have some kind of wound so have to
they have some kind of wound so have to
they have some kind of wound so have to try to make themselves really big make
try to make themselves really big make
try to make themselves really big make other people feel small so they can feel
other people feel small so they can feel
other people feel small so they can feel good about themselves so it’s kind of
good about themselves so it’s kind of
good about themselves so it’s kind of like a psychological sickness indeed now
like a psychological sickness indeed now
like a psychological sickness indeed now some people might have been grown up and
some people might have been grown up and
some people might have been grown up and be brought up in an environment where
be brought up in an environment where
be brought up in an environment where they’re told by the people that bring
they’re told by the people that bring
they’re told by the people that bring them up you gotta be tough in this world
them up you gotta be tough in this world
them up you gotta be tough in this world guys grab it and take it doesn’t matter
guys grab it and take it doesn’t matter
guys grab it and take it doesn’t matter who you stand on you have to do it come
who you stand on you have to do it come
who you stand on you have to do it come on take it’s all yours cross
on take it’s all yours cross
on take it’s all yours cross take their blood go win win this kind of
take their blood go win win this kind of
take their blood go win win this kind of thing Marik but you see that’s the kind
thing Marik but you see that’s the kind
thing Marik but you see that’s the kind of survival of the fittest perversion of
of survival of the fittest perversion of
of survival of the fittest perversion of the original lying by darling
the original lying by darling
the original lying by darling and survival of the fittest doesn’t mean
and survival of the fittest doesn’t mean
and survival of the fittest doesn’t mean that this is one line from a very very
that this is one line from a very very
that this is one line from a very very big book
big book
big book you see nature nature is interdependent
you see nature nature is interdependent
you see nature nature is interdependent nature is cooperative this whole idea of
nature is cooperative this whole idea of
nature is cooperative this whole idea of destroying opposition at all costs
destroying opposition at all costs
destroying opposition at all costs doesn’t happen in nature you know nature
doesn’t happen in nature you know nature
doesn’t happen in nature you know nature is up and down its ability and it’s
is up and down its ability and it’s
is up and down its ability and it’s destroying it’s constantly changing and
destroying it’s constantly changing and
destroying it’s constantly changing and they say it’s interdependent you take
they say it’s interdependent you take
they say it’s interdependent you take the biggest shark in the sea Big Bad
the biggest shark in the sea Big Bad
the biggest shark in the sea Big Bad apex predator who would be dead we’re
apex predator who would be dead we’re
apex predator who would be dead we’re enough for the little fishes who clean
enough for the little fishes who clean
enough for the little fishes who clean out its mouths clean wounds take blood
out its mouths clean wounds take blood
out its mouths clean wounds take blood parasites the fish will be dead I’m
parasites the fish will be dead I’m
parasites the fish will be dead I’m using that as an example but you get my
using that as an example but you get my
using that as an example but you get my point
point
point you see we are interdependent and
you see we are interdependent and
you see we are interdependent and anything about bullying its kind of
anything about bullying its kind of
anything about bullying its kind of everywhere in our modern society
everywhere in our modern society
everywhere in our modern society screaming angry headlines screaming
screaming angry headlines screaming
screaming angry headlines screaming newscasters crisis after crisis after
newscasters crisis after crisis after
newscasters crisis after crisis after crisis this is a form of bullying is a
crisis this is a form of bullying is a
crisis this is a form of bullying is a form of intimidation ultimately a form
form of intimidation ultimately a form
form of intimidation ultimately a form of control now I’m not talking about
of control now I’m not talking about
of control now I’m not talking about hippy dippy utopian you caught utopian
hippy dippy utopian you caught utopian
hippy dippy utopian you caught utopian idealism because I’ve worked in
idealism because I’ve worked in
idealism because I’ve worked in industries where you have to be tough
industries where you have to be tough
industries where you have to be tough and you have to get stuff done if you’re
and you have to get stuff done if you’re
and you have to get stuff done if you’re on a film shoot and the Sun is going
on a film shoot and the Sun is going
on a film shoot and the Sun is going down
down
down and you gotta get the shot by golly gosh
and you gotta get the shot by golly gosh
and you gotta get the shot by golly gosh you’re gonna do whatever it takes and
you’re gonna do whatever it takes and
you’re gonna do whatever it takes and you might have to be a bit impolite to
you might have to be a bit impolite to
you might have to be a bit impolite to do it to get it done but that’s the deal
do it to get it done but that’s the deal
do it to get it done but that’s the deal that’s the contract and anybody who’s
that’s the contract and anybody who’s
that’s the contract and anybody who’s done projects or time-based work where
done projects or time-based work where
done projects or time-based work where something has to be done by deadlines
something has to be done by deadlines
something has to be done by deadlines you know what I mean so we might
you know what I mean so we might
you know what I mean so we might workshops and working with tribal
workshops and working with tribal
workshops and working with tribal clients the idea of boundaries and
clients the idea of boundaries and
clients the idea of boundaries and consent is a constant the thing that
consent is a constant the thing that
consent is a constant the thing that comes up and people might discussing
comes up and people might discussing
comes up and people might discussing this because people don’t really know
this because people don’t really know
this because people don’t really know how maybe how to define their boundaries
how maybe how to define their boundaries
how maybe how to define their boundaries and define what they consent to and what
and define what they consent to and what
and define what they consent to and what they agree with and especially what they
they agree with and especially what they
they agree with and especially what they don’t agree with
don’t agree with
don’t agree with especially where their boundaries are
especially where their boundaries are
especially where their boundaries are and what their limits are and that works
and what their limits are and that works
and what their limits are and that works on all kinds of levels knowing your
on all kinds of levels knowing your
on all kinds of levels knowing your limitations
limitations
limitations mr. Dean are easy and alright based a
mr. Dean are easy and alright based a
mr. Dean are easy and alright based a lot of this kind of angles of my work on
lot of this kind of angles of my work on
lot of this kind of angles of my work on the Marshall Rosenberg nonviolent
the Marshall Rosenberg nonviolent
the Marshall Rosenberg nonviolent communication model he’s an American
communication model he’s an American
communication model he’s an American therapist who passed away a couple of
therapist who passed away a couple of
therapist who passed away a couple of years ago and in the 1980s he came up
years ago and in the 1980s he came up
years ago and in the 1980s he came up with nonviolent communication which is a
with nonviolent communication which is a
with nonviolent communication which is a mediated forum for warring arguing
mediated forum for warring arguing
mediated forum for warring arguing parties everything from gangs in LA to
parties everything from gangs in LA to
parties everything from gangs in LA to people around the world and so forth in
people around the world and so forth in
people around the world and so forth in different parts of the world he spent
different parts of the world he spent
different parts of the world he spent the last 30 years of his life doing
the last 30 years of his life doing
the last 30 years of his life doing conflict resolution and that’s great but
conflict resolution and that’s great but
conflict resolution and that’s great but unfortunately if you’re out sooner say a
unfortunately if you’re out sooner say a
unfortunately if you’re out sooner say a zero and our contract job a minimum wage
zero and our contract job a minimum wage
zero and our contract job a minimum wage we have some trumped-up little emperor
we have some trumped-up little emperor
we have some trumped-up little emperor coming in looking down their nose at you
coming in looking down their nose at you
coming in looking down their nose at you doesn’t erupt all they are they’re still
doesn’t erupt all they are they’re still
doesn’t erupt all they are they’re still the family nosy and you get that every
the family nosy and you get that every
the family nosy and you get that every day that’s kind of depressing it’s kind
day that’s kind of depressing it’s kind
day that’s kind of depressing it’s kind of depressing because bullying is cruel
of depressing because bullying is cruel
of depressing because bullying is cruel bullying causes suffering all kinds of
bullying causes suffering all kinds of
bullying causes suffering all kinds of level need I mentioned the speed recent
level need I mentioned the speed recent
level need I mentioned the speed recent statistics from England and Wales says
statistics from England and Wales says
statistics from England and Wales says that one in four women aged between 16
that one in four women aged between 16
that one in four women aged between 16 and 24 have serious psychological mental
and 24 have serious psychological mental
and 24 have serious psychological mental health problems it’s everything from
health problems it’s everything from
health problems it’s everything from depression self-harm OCD anorexia you
depression self-harm OCD anorexia you
depression self-harm OCD anorexia you name it one in four of our young women
name it one in four of our young women
name it one in four of our young women are suffering in the head the mean I
are suffering in the head the mean I
are suffering in the head the mean I mentioned the male suicide rate biggest
mentioned the male suicide rate biggest
mentioned the male suicide rate biggest killer for men aged 20 to 34 and don’t
killer for men aged 20 to 34 and don’t
killer for men aged 20 to 34 and don’t worry my middle aged people both men
worry my middle aged people both men
worry my middle aged people both men with them
with them
with them it’s skyrocketing it’s very very popular
it’s skyrocketing it’s very very popular
it’s skyrocketing it’s very very popular wonder why so what’s my point my point
wonder why so what’s my point my point
wonder why so what’s my point my point is that if you can learn different
is that if you can learn different
is that if you can learn different techniques to neutralize aggression to
techniques to neutralize aggression to
techniques to neutralize aggression to upend power place it’s better for
upend power place it’s better for
upend power place it’s better for everybody it’s almost like everyone’s
everybody it’s almost like everyone’s
everybody it’s almost like everyone’s got a gun except you don’t need guns
got a gun except you don’t need guns
got a gun except you don’t need guns you’ve got your words and you got your
you’ve got your words and you got your
you’ve got your words and you got your boundaries and you’ve got your consent
boundaries and you’ve got your consent
boundaries and you’ve got your consent you know what you’re doing so
for me the most important thing to do if
for me the most important thing to do if you have an aggressor the powerplay
you have an aggressor the powerplay
you have an aggressor the powerplay going on
going on
going on is he right away you get away from it if
is he right away you get away from it if
is he right away you get away from it if you count Paul Marty said he who runs
you count Paul Marty said he who runs
you count Paul Marty said he who runs away lives to fight another day
away lives to fight another day
away lives to fight another day Connor Mahara says he who runs away
Connor Mahara says he who runs away
Connor Mahara says he who runs away where she or they who runs away there’s
where she or they who runs away there’s
where she or they who runs away there’s a runway another day but we can’t always
a runway another day but we can’t always
a runway another day but we can’t always do that can we sometimes just are stuck
do that can we sometimes just are stuck
do that can we sometimes just are stuck there and you have a person in front of
there and you have a person in front of
there and you have a person in front of you who is disrespecting me being rude
you who is disrespecting me being rude
you who is disrespecting me being rude being nasty
being nasty
being nasty for the reasons I said before who knows
for the reasons I said before who knows
for the reasons I said before who knows why I’m doing this
why I’m doing this
why I’m doing this and it’s just really horrible isn’t it
and it’s just really horrible isn’t it
and it’s just really horrible isn’t it it’s just not nice like this hard enough
it’s just not nice like this hard enough
it’s just not nice like this hard enough and then we dump it that’s the other
and then we dump it that’s the other
and then we dump it that’s the other thing bullies when you’re on your
thing bullies when you’re on your
thing bullies when you’re on your deathbed where’s your power then you
deathbed where’s your power then you
deathbed where’s your power then you have no power you do never have any
have no power you do never have any
have no power you do never have any power it was an illusion
power it was an illusion
power it was an illusion it’s temporary not best and that’s the
it’s temporary not best and that’s the
it’s temporary not best and that’s the important thing to say to all the
important thing to say to all the
important thing to say to all the trumped-up little members temporary
trumped-up little members temporary
trumped-up little members temporary temporary you’d be dead in the ground
temporary you’d be dead in the ground
temporary you’d be dead in the ground soon just like the rest of us so what
soon just like the rest of us so what
soon just like the rest of us so what you do is stand in front of the prison
you do is stand in front of the prison
you do is stand in front of the prison and you got to really step up this is
and you got to really step up this is
and you got to really step up this is for the people who are really shy who
for the people who are really shy who
for the people who are really shy who are maybe introverted or just terrified
are maybe introverted or just terrified
are maybe introverted or just terrified stepping into this moment right you
stepping into this moment right you
stepping into this moment right you gotta try it’s like a new job and you
gotta try it’s like a new job and you
gotta try it’s like a new job and you realize actually this can’t fit I can’t
realize actually this can’t fit I can’t
realize actually this can’t fit I can’t do this and I’m speaking as somebody who
do this and I’m speaking as somebody who
do this and I’m speaking as somebody who wasn’t really ever bullied I’m a beta
wasn’t really ever bullied I’m a beta
wasn’t really ever bullied I’m a beta male at best we just say excuse me is
male at best we just say excuse me is
male at best we just say excuse me is this a power player doing maybe a little
this a power player doing maybe a little
this a power player doing maybe a little bit shy and apologetic then you go sorry
bit shy and apologetic then you go sorry
bit shy and apologetic then you go sorry I don’t really do power replace maybe
I don’t really do power replace maybe
I don’t really do power replace maybe there’s another way we could communicate
there’s another way we could communicate
there’s another way we could communicate or could I get one of my colleagues to
or could I get one of my colleagues to
or could I get one of my colleagues to deal with you or can we just teleport
deal with you or can we just teleport
deal with you or can we just teleport you off this first
you off this first
you off this first no actually I want to hear you guys say
no actually I want to hear you guys say
no actually I want to hear you guys say it just for the hell of it it’s a bit of
it just for the hell of it it’s a bit of
it just for the hell of it it’s a bit of a power play but it’s benign you know I
a power play but it’s benign you know I
a power play but it’s benign you know I cut down three two one you’re welcome
cut down three two one you’re welcome
cut down three two one you’re welcome is this a power play okay three two one
is this a power play okay three two one
is this a power play okay three two one not too bad let’s try it again with once
not too bad let’s try it again with once
not too bad let’s try it again with once more with feeling okay three two one
more with feeling okay three two one
more with feeling okay three two one you got it you got it that’s great
you got it you got it that’s great
you got it you got it that’s great that’s a benign powered leg which are
that’s a benign powered leg which are
that’s a benign powered leg which are allowed under the rule books that I just
allowed under the rule books that I just
allowed under the rule books that I just made up so the second one and my last
made up so the second one and my last
made up so the second one and my last point I’ll illustrate with a little
point I’ll illustrate with a little
point I’ll illustrate with a little story I call it this five second rule–
story I call it this five second rule–
story I call it this five second rule– five second rule is using silence
five second rule is using silence
five second rule is using silence against a bully that aggressor a
against a bully that aggressor a
against a bully that aggressor a manipulator a power player even an
manipulator a power player even an
manipulator a power player even an abuser and what happened was I was going
abuser and what happened was I was going
abuser and what happened was I was going to the school and my daughter goes and I
to the school and my daughter goes and I
to the school and my daughter goes and I can tell this because I don’t think the
can tell this because I don’t think the
can tell this because I don’t think the person I’m talking about there is
person I’m talking about there is
person I’m talking about there is working there anymore and early morning
working there anymore and early morning
working there anymore and early morning one Monday morning 9:00 a.m.
one Monday morning 9:00 a.m.
one Monday morning 9:00 a.m. goodbye she goes I need to drop in some
goodbye she goes I need to drop in some
goodbye she goes I need to drop in some paperwork into the school of exception I
paperwork into the school of exception I
paperwork into the school of exception I saw the receptionist through the glass
saw the receptionist through the glass
saw the receptionist through the glass talking with whatever colleagues smiling
talking with whatever colleagues smiling
talking with whatever colleagues smiling nothing
nothing
nothing grace tapped on the window my piece of
grace tapped on the window my piece of
grace tapped on the window my piece of paper to drop in he turned around saw me
paper to drop in he turned around saw me
paper to drop in he turned around saw me I instantly shut down completely blind
I instantly shut down completely blind
I instantly shut down completely blind person could feel it
person could feel it
person could feel it cold cold don’t know she’s got problems
cold cold don’t know she’s got problems
cold cold don’t know she’s got problems with men she probably has her own story
with men she probably has her own story
with men she probably has her own story it’s why I always recommend a lot of
it’s why I always recommend a lot of
it’s why I always recommend a lot of them compassion you never know where
them compassion you never know where
them compassion you never know where somebody’s coming from you don’t love
somebody’s coming from you don’t love
somebody’s coming from you don’t love them can be compassionate right that’s
them can be compassionate right that’s
them can be compassionate right that’s with all the wisdom says yeah
with all the wisdom says yeah
with all the wisdom says yeah comes over yes almost like some kind of
comes over yes almost like some kind of
comes over yes almost like some kind of no come on you didn’t I’m just looking
no come on you didn’t I’m just looking
no come on you didn’t I’m just looking at this poor person to help happen to
at this poor person to help happen to
at this poor person to help happen to her this morning of it you’ve got all
her this morning of it you’ve got all
her this morning of it you’ve got all the wrong sides a bit you know I’ve
the wrong sides a bit you know I’ve
the wrong sides a bit you know I’ve decided I’m not going to be sparring to
decided I’m not going to be sparring to
decided I’m not going to be sparring to this I’m going to break the social
this I’m going to break the social
this I’m going to break the social contract the social contract is you say
contract the social contract is you say
contract the social contract is you say something I say something I say
something I say something I say
something I say something I say something you say something that’s
something you say something that’s
something you say something that’s conversation that’s a regular flow of
conversation that’s a regular flow of
conversation that’s a regular flow of things I just looked at her not you look
things I just looked at her not you look
things I just looked at her not you look with anger or frustration
with anger or frustration
with anger or frustration it shows we’re insured about we know
it shows we’re insured about we know
it shows we’re insured about we know these things whether we recognize it or
these things whether we recognize it or
these things whether we recognize it or not we see all these things
not we see all these things
not we see all these things all the time with their eyes third eye
all the time with their eyes third eye
all the time with their eyes third eye or whatever we want to call it I just
or whatever we want to call it I just
or whatever we want to call it I just looked her in smile
looked her in smile
looked her in smile the real smile but it’s kind of like a
the real smile but it’s kind of like a
the real smile but it’s kind of like a pity you poor thing happen to you to be
pity you poor thing happen to you to be
pity you poor thing happen to you to be so nasty to twist like that but not
so nasty to twist like that but not
so nasty to twist like that but not because somebody else and then seen me
because somebody else and then seen me
because somebody else and then seen me know wrong is something to be so cold
three four five of course by three she’s
three four five of course by three she’s doing backflips inside mental gymnastics
doing backflips inside mental gymnastics
doing backflips inside mental gymnastics what’s going on him why is he smiling at
what’s going on him why is he smiling at
what’s going on him why is he smiling at me like a psychotic person insane which
me like a psychotic person insane which
me like a psychotic person insane which is actually pretty handy because if you
is actually pretty handy because if you
is actually pretty handy because if you think you’re a bit crazy
it’s important excuse me what do you
it’s important excuse me what do you want what do you want I’m here to drop
want what do you want I’m here to drop
want what do you want I’m here to drop this off and again she was a little bit
this off and again she was a little bit
this off and again she was a little bit rude little bit cold
rude little bit cold
rude little bit cold I’m just nasty for no reason whatsoever
I’m just nasty for no reason whatsoever
I’m just nasty for no reason whatsoever I’m using this minor example as a
I’m using this minor example as a
I’m using this minor example as a greater example where you can maybe take
greater example where you can maybe take
greater example where you can maybe take this kind of thing and I just smiled
this kind of thing and I just smiled
this kind of thing and I just smiled again and again counted to fine
again and again counted to fine
again and again counted to fine one two three four five of course my
one two three four five of course my
one two three four five of course my three she’s totally freaking out I can
three she’s totally freaking out I can
three she’s totally freaking out I can see it you know what’s this guy doing
see it you know what’s this guy doing
see it you know what’s this guy doing you know I said I’m here to drop this
you know I said I’m here to drop this
you know I said I’m here to drop this off paperwork for my daughter in the
off paperwork for my daughter in the
off paperwork for my daughter in the school she took it and then began to
school she took it and then began to
school she took it and then began to smile it’s just actually melted a little
smile it’s just actually melted a little
smile it’s just actually melted a little bit she warmed up a little bit realizing
bit she warmed up a little bit realizing
bit she warmed up a little bit realizing she’s some self-awareness but her
she’s some self-awareness but her
she’s some self-awareness but her behavior was not harmed and that’s what
behavior was not harmed and that’s what
behavior was not harmed and that’s what it is with bullies and manipulators
it is with bullies and manipulators
it is with bullies and manipulators devious abusers it’s just not on it
devious abusers it’s just not on it
devious abusers it’s just not on it doesn’t matter if it’s a public or
doesn’t matter if it’s a public or
doesn’t matter if it’s a public or private you can call it up you don’t
private you can call it up you don’t
private you can call it up you don’t have to call it outgoing shame on you
have to call it outgoing shame on you
have to call it outgoing shame on you which is that’s more stigma and more
which is that’s more stigma and more
which is that’s more stigma and more shame there’s enough of that it’s more
shame there’s enough of that it’s more
shame there’s enough of that it’s more of a case of what’s wrong with you
of a case of what’s wrong with you
of a case of what’s wrong with you what’s wrong with you you need a crime
what’s wrong with you you need a crime
what’s wrong with you you need a crime you need a hug neighbors and home and
you need a hug neighbors and home and
you need a hug neighbors and home and way they always go do you want to talk
way they always go do you want to talk
way they always go do you want to talk about it which is true you want to talk
about it which is true you want to talk
about it which is true you want to talk about it you know that’s what therapy is
about it you know that’s what therapy is
about it you know that’s what therapy is you know that’s what it’s all about so
you know that’s what it’s all about so
you know that’s what it’s all about so it’s funny the next time to illustrate
it’s funny the next time to illustrate
it’s funny the next time to illustrate the five-second rule every time I saw
the five-second rule every time I saw
the five-second rule every time I saw her after that
her after that
her after that hello hi really try hard to be nice you
hello hi really try hard to be nice you
hello hi really try hard to be nice you know which was actually fine I said okay
know which was actually fine I said okay
know which was actually fine I said okay that’s good enough you’re a bit awkward
that’s good enough you’re a bit awkward
that’s good enough you’re a bit awkward but you’re getting there you know stop
but you’re getting there you know stop
but you’re getting there you know stop being so cold life is hard
being so cold life is hard
being so cold life is hard right it’s not easy there’s so many good
right it’s not easy there’s so many good
right it’s not easy there’s so many good things and we’re so privileged to live
things and we’re so privileged to live
things and we’re so privileged to live in a part of the world that we can sort
in a part of the world that we can sort
in a part of the world that we can sort of get along we really have no excuse
of get along we really have no excuse
of get along we really have no excuse enough to get along all the people in
enough to get along all the people in
enough to get along all the people in parts of the world might have a you know
parts of the world might have a you know
parts of the world might have a you know excuse enough to get along or they just
excuse enough to get along or they just
excuse enough to get along or they just want to try to survive and live day to
want to try to survive and live day to
want to try to survive and live day to day and you know the places I’m talking
day and you know the places I’m talking
day and you know the places I’m talking about so finally the rap book named the
about so finally the rap book named the
about so finally the rap book named the power play call it up just call it for
power play call it up just call it for
power play call it up just call it for what it is don’t describe anything don’t
what it is don’t describe anything don’t
what it is don’t describe anything don’t go you said this he said that just
go you said this he said that just
go you said this he said that just describe it you detached what are you
describe it you detached what are you
describe it you detached what are you doing I didn’t do power plays I think
doing I didn’t do power plays I think
doing I didn’t do power plays I think I’m gonna come to find this phone see
I’m gonna come to find this phone see
I’m gonna come to find this phone see what happens and you just got to try it
what happens and you just got to try it
what happens and you just got to try it out try out your own way I’m just trying
out try out your own way I’m just trying
out try out your own way I’m just trying to open up a dialogue here of different
to open up a dialogue here of different
to open up a dialogue here of different ways that don’t involve too much debate
ways that don’t involve too much debate
ways that don’t involve too much debate too much explanation you gotta stand up
too much explanation you gotta stand up
too much explanation you gotta stand up especially if you’re a fragile a bit shy
especially if you’re a fragile a bit shy
especially if you’re a fragile a bit shy we’re feeling weak just try it out try
we’re feeling weak just try it out try
we’re feeling weak just try it out try it on for size it might really really
it on for size it might really really
it on for size it might really really help you so I’ll finish with finishing
help you so I’ll finish with finishing
help you so I’ll finish with finishing with quotes seems to be the thing in TED
with quotes seems to be the thing in TED
with quotes seems to be the thing in TED talks and Bertrand Russell the
talks and Bertrand Russell the
talks and Bertrand Russell the philosopher said before not long before
philosopher said before not long before
philosopher said before not long before he died that love is wise and hatred is
he died that love is wise and hatred is
he died that love is wise and hatred is foolish foolish
how does Huxley on his deathbed asked by
how does Huxley on his deathbed asked by one of the students you know dr. Huxley
one of the students you know dr. Huxley
one of the students you know dr. Huxley you’ve lived such a great life you’ve
you’ve lived such a great life you’ve
you’ve lived such a great life you’ve written all these great books brave new
written all these great books brave new
written all these great books brave new world all that you’ve met so many
world all that you’ve met so many
world all that you’ve met so many wonderful people
wonderful people
wonderful people what’s your parsing wisdom to the world
what’s your parsing wisdom to the world
what’s your parsing wisdom to the world before you die he kind of shrugged and
before you die he kind of shrugged and
before you die he kind of shrugged and when you know and afraid of Akane
when you know and afraid of Akane
when you know and afraid of Akane suggests just be kinder so try to be a
suggests just be kinder so try to be a
suggests just be kinder so try to be a little bit kinder and have a very good
little bit kinder and have a very good
little bit kinder and have a very good evening thank you for listening
evening thank you for listening
evening thank you for listening [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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