hello and welcome so it’s a great decision to come to TEDx so talking
decision to come to TEDx so talking
decision to come to TEDx so talking about decisions you may not be aware of
about decisions you may not be aware of
about decisions you may not be aware of it but you make hundreds of them every
it but you make hundreds of them every
it but you make hundreds of them every day
day
day should I take my umbrella with me today
should I take my umbrella with me today
should I take my umbrella with me today what should I have for breakfast which
what should I have for breakfast which
what should I have for breakfast which line I take to come to Tokyo Tech today
line I take to come to Tokyo Tech today
line I take to come to Tokyo Tech today so there are tons of them that you make
so there are tons of them that you make
so there are tons of them that you make but you don’t pay much attention to them
but you don’t pay much attention to them
but you don’t pay much attention to them now these decisions are somewhat easy
now these decisions are somewhat easy
now these decisions are somewhat easy because they are personal and people’s
because they are personal and people’s
because they are personal and people’s opinion will not matter that much but
opinion will not matter that much but
opinion will not matter that much but what about those times that you have to
what about those times that you have to
what about those times that you have to decide something and it’s related to
decide something and it’s related to
decide something and it’s related to action that you will make in front of
action that you will make in front of
action that you will make in front of others so things get complicated at this
others so things get complicated at this
others so things get complicated at this point let me ask you a question how many
point let me ask you a question how many
point let me ask you a question how many of you change their behavior in public
of you change their behavior in public
of you change their behavior in public just based on the expectation of others
just based on the expectation of others
just based on the expectation of others like should I do this in this way or say
like should I do this in this way or say
like should I do this in this way or say it in that way how many okay another
it in that way how many okay another
it in that way how many okay another simpler question if you are talking to
simpler question if you are talking to
simpler question if you are talking to someone do you set some expectations
someone do you set some expectations
someone do you set some expectations based on the other side gender age type
based on the other side gender age type
based on the other side gender age type of work most of us do this this is
of work most of us do this this is
of work most of us do this this is mainly because of social norms dominates
mainly because of social norms dominates
mainly because of social norms dominates our society those norms or expectations
our society those norms or expectations
our society those norms or expectations that force us to do something in a
that force us to do something in a
that force us to do something in a certain way at specific situations so
certain way at specific situations so
certain way at specific situations so talking about this things get more
talking about this things get more
talking about this things get more complicated when it affects our lives so
complicated when it affects our lives so
complicated when it affects our lives so we have a lot of rules and norms in our
we have a lot of rules and norms in our
we have a lot of rules and norms in our society that would affect us either
society that would affect us either
society that would affect us either direct or indirect way and people some
direct or indirect way and people some
direct or indirect way and people some people will tend to follow or try to
people will tend to follow or try to
people will tend to follow or try to force
force
force themselves to fit inside the mall just
themselves to fit inside the mall just
themselves to fit inside the mall just because they are afraid of being judged
because they are afraid of being judged
because they are afraid of being judged but have we questioned those norms
but have we questioned those norms
but have we questioned those norms before like who set them up when did
before like who set them up when did
before like who set them up when did they become homes at the first place I
they become homes at the first place I
they become homes at the first place I think all we know about norms that they
think all we know about norms that they
think all we know about norms that they are the most fearsome enemies of us as
are the most fearsome enemies of us as
are the most fearsome enemies of us as modern individuals Charles Panetta his
modern individuals Charles Panetta his
modern individuals Charles Panetta his writer he wrote a book that I really
writer he wrote a book that I really
writer he wrote a book that I really highly recommend you to check it out
highly recommend you to check it out
highly recommend you to check it out in that book it’s called origins of
in that book it’s called origins of
in that book it’s called origins of everyday things he collected in that
everyday things he collected in that
everyday things he collected in that book around 500 things that we do or say
book around 500 things that we do or say
book around 500 things that we do or say in our everyday life from different
in our everyday life from different
in our everyday life from different cultures Eastern Western Middle East but
cultures Eastern Western Middle East but
cultures Eastern Western Middle East but one can find that the most important
one can find that the most important
one can find that the most important point that social norms from different
point that social norms from different
point that social norms from different societies normally or basically share
societies normally or basically share
societies normally or basically share four main qualities one they tell us
four main qualities one they tell us
four main qualities one they tell us what to do and what not to do second
what to do and what not to do second
what to do and what not to do second they are socially shared in other words
they are socially shared in other words
they are socially shared in other words people have an general awareness about
people have an general awareness about
people have an general awareness about that norm
that norm
that norm third they can carry an element of
third they can carry an element of
third they can carry an element of control people can feel afraid we can
control people can feel afraid we can
control people can feel afraid we can feel guilty if the norm is not followed
feel guilty if the norm is not followed
feel guilty if the norm is not followed so these norms can actually influence
so these norms can actually influence
so these norms can actually influence our behavior so high and so deep to
our behavior so high and so deep to
our behavior so high and so deep to understand this researchers research
understand this researchers research
understand this researchers research groups from UCLA and the University of
groups from UCLA and the University of
groups from UCLA and the University of Arizona they designed a framework
Arizona they designed a framework
Arizona they designed a framework neuroscience framework to understand
neuroscience framework to understand
neuroscience framework to understand this so the designed and experimental
this so the designed and experimental
this so the designed and experimental social experiment and they combined the
social experiment and they combined the
social experiment and they combined the social experimental results together
social experimental results together
social experimental results together with the brain imaging data and they
with the brain imaging data and they
with the brain imaging data and they came to a conclusion that
came to a conclusion that
came to a conclusion that one or the most influential factor on
one or the most influential factor on
one or the most influential factor on our decisions is the effect of norms we
our decisions is the effect of norms we
our decisions is the effect of norms we also called it as the great expectations
also called it as the great expectations
also called it as the great expectations so at any situations at any situation we
so at any situations at any situation we
so at any situations at any situation we have normally two directions coexist at
have normally two directions coexist at
have normally two directions coexist at the same time what society expect us to
the same time what society expect us to
the same time what society expect us to say or to do and what we feel in our
say or to do and what we feel in our
say or to do and what we feel in our heart of course sometimes these two
heart of course sometimes these two
heart of course sometimes these two directions can be the same and we feel
directions can be the same and we feel
directions can be the same and we feel happy about it but what about other
happy about it but what about other
happy about it but what about other times when we have to choose one
times when we have to choose one
times when we have to choose one direction of the two those hard
direction of the two those hard
direction of the two those hard decisions truly define who we are after
decisions truly define who we are after
decisions truly define who we are after living in several different societies
living in several different societies
living in several different societies open/closed religious liberal east west
open/closed religious liberal east west
open/closed religious liberal east west middle east i could see the real huge
middle east i could see the real huge
middle east i could see the real huge effect and power of norms on the society
effect and power of norms on the society
effect and power of norms on the society that one need to stop and look at it
that one need to stop and look at it
that one need to stop and look at it have a closer look to understanding let
have a closer look to understanding let
have a closer look to understanding let me give you some examples back in the
me give you some examples back in the
me give you some examples back in the Middle East you would find people tend
Middle East you would find people tend
Middle East you would find people tend to follow the norms even if it
to follow the norms even if it
to follow the norms even if it contradicts with their own beliefs if
contradicts with their own beliefs if
contradicts with their own beliefs if even if it contradict with the religion
even if it contradict with the religion
even if it contradict with the religion for religious societies that powerful in
for religious societies that powerful in
for religious societies that powerful in some other societies I think you can
some other societies I think you can
some other societies I think you can relate to this you would find people
relate to this you would find people
relate to this you would find people stay after official working times just
stay after official working times just
stay after official working times just because it’s a social norm there is no
because it’s a social norm there is no
because it’s a social norm there is no law there is no other power can cause
law there is no other power can cause
law there is no other power can cause this phenomenon and throughout history
this phenomenon and throughout history
this phenomenon and throughout history we find that social norms and
we find that social norms and
we find that social norms and expectations put enormous pressure on
expectations put enormous pressure on
expectations put enormous pressure on women yes we are in the 21st century yet
women yes we are in the 21st century yet
women yes we are in the 21st century yet in several societies around the globe
in several societies around the globe
in several societies around the globe you can find women still facing
you can find women still facing
you can find women still facing discrimination and hardships to get an
discrimination and hardships to get an
discrimination and hardships to get an proper access for education or work
proper access for education or work
proper access for education or work however talking about norms is not
however talking about norms is not
however talking about norms is not always negative like something being
always negative like something being
always negative like something being known but not necessarily mean that it’s
known but not necessarily mean that it’s
known but not necessarily mean that it’s a bad thing if I’m in the train and I
a bad thing if I’m in the train and I
a bad thing if I’m in the train and I give my seat to an elder person to a
give my seat to an elder person to a
give my seat to an elder person to a pregnant woman it’s a social norm but
pregnant woman it’s a social norm but
pregnant woman it’s a social norm but it’s a good one
it’s a good one
it’s a good one so norms are not always bad but the core
so norms are not always bad but the core
so norms are not always bad but the core point that they deeply affect us and
point that they deeply affect us and
point that they deeply affect us and they can change major decisions in our
they can change major decisions in our
they can change major decisions in our life like how to treat people which
life like how to treat people which
life like how to treat people which career path that we take whom and when
career path that we take whom and when
career path that we take whom and when to marry so we must stop before taking a
to marry so we must stop before taking a
to marry so we must stop before taking a decision and think about the reason why
decision and think about the reason why
decision and think about the reason why we are doing this the good news is just
we are doing this the good news is just
we are doing this the good news is just like any physical disease social
like any physical disease social
like any physical disease social diseases as well can be cured just with
diseases as well can be cured just with
diseases as well can be cured just with the right medicine double awho so temple
the right medicine double awho so temple
the right medicine double awho so temple um is basically an old Arabic term that
um is basically an old Arabic term that
um is basically an old Arabic term that means this would be our medicinal today
means this would be our medicinal today
means this would be our medicinal today that means ignore them or in Japanese
that means ignore them or in Japanese
that means ignore them or in Japanese Moochie suru so we tab along when you
Moochie suru so we tab along when you
Moochie suru so we tab along when you will try to go it back on our main track
will try to go it back on our main track
will try to go it back on our main track of life our own not others not society
reindeer is an American philosopher once
reindeer is an American philosopher once said when we change our way of looking
said when we change our way of looking
said when we change our way of looking at something this something will change
at something this something will change
at something this something will change so whatever is the opinion of the
so whatever is the opinion of the
so whatever is the opinion of the society whatever is the norm we have
society whatever is the norm we have
society whatever is the norm we have first to process it as a point of view
first to process it as a point of view
first to process it as a point of view not to take it and accept it and let it
not to take it and accept it and let it
not to take it and accept it and let it change our life without understanding
let me give you some examples about
let me give you some examples about those social norms and if
those social norms and if
those social norms and if at night up in the home what will happen
successful person will not be just the
successful person will not be just the engineer the doctor the lawyer social
engineer the doctor the lawyer social
engineer the doctor the lawyer social expectations no success will be we are
expectations no success will be we are
expectations no success will be we are doing what we truly love what else when
doing what we truly love what else when
doing what we truly love what else when we apply what will else can happen when
we apply what will else can happen when
we apply what will else can happen when they apply to bandar home
they apply to bandar home
they apply to bandar home we will stop feeling insecure about our
we will stop feeling insecure about our
we will stop feeling insecure about our bodies our faces the way we talk the way
bodies our faces the way we talk the way
bodies our faces the way we talk the way we express ourselves what will happen
we express ourselves what will happen
we express ourselves what will happen when we apply to a better home we will
when we apply to a better home we will
when we apply to a better home we will know the real meaning and remember the
know the real meaning and remember the
know the real meaning and remember the real value of getting married and
real value of getting married and
real value of getting married and building a family at many societies that
building a family at many societies that
building a family at many societies that I have tried to I have lived there you
I have tried to I have lived there you
I have tried to I have lived there you can see people are spending huge amount
can see people are spending huge amount
can see people are spending huge amount like allure lifespan and efforts on
like allure lifespan and efforts on
like allure lifespan and efforts on minor stuff that will not help or
minor stuff that will not help or
minor stuff that will not help or improve their life afterwards what will
improve their life afterwards what will
improve their life afterwards what will happen when we apply tombola
happen when we apply tombola
happen when we apply tombola it will be okay to quit your job it will
it will be okay to quit your job it will
it will be okay to quit your job it will be very ok to restart from the beginning
be very ok to restart from the beginning
be very ok to restart from the beginning you will stop consider this as waste of
you will stop consider this as waste of
you will stop consider this as waste of time
time
time no mm will be the reminder it will
no mm will be the reminder it will
no mm will be the reminder it will remind us that there is another chance
remind us that there is another chance
remind us that there is another chance we can take it will remind us that the
we can take it will remind us that the
we can take it will remind us that the real waste of life the whole life will
real waste of life the whole life will
real waste of life the whole life will be us going in the wrong direction
be us going in the wrong direction
be us going in the wrong direction because it’s only only when we know the
because it’s only only when we know the
because it’s only only when we know the reason behind what we are doing then we
reason behind what we are doing then we
reason behind what we are doing then we can know and enjoy our lives and the
can know and enjoy our lives and the
can know and enjoy our lives and the method is very simple we just pose and
method is very simple we just pose and
method is very simple we just pose and rethink when you pause you will give
rethink when you pause you will give
rethink when you pause you will give yourself the time for the evaluation and
yourself the time for the evaluation and
yourself the time for the evaluation and when you rethink you will recall all the
when you rethink you will recall all the
when you rethink you will recall all the situations all the people that you need
situations all the people that you need
situations all the people that you need to stop by and you say the Bella home
to stop by and you say the Bella home
to stop by and you say the Bella home thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
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