Where do you stand in love? | Nia Orms (aka Paula Prisco) | TEDxKC

these are my balls and I promise to

these are my balls and I promise to leave them at the office my husband

leave them at the office my husband

leave them at the office my husband Jonathan used to make me say that every

Jonathan used to make me say that every

Jonathan used to make me say that every morning before I left for work I always

morning before I left for work I always

morning before I left for work I always brought them home though

brought them home though

brought them home though look the woman’s movement came and I ran

look the woman’s movement came and I ran

look the woman’s movement came and I ran for it I was the head of my office and

for it I was the head of my office and

for it I was the head of my office and the head of my home because my husband

the head of my home because my husband

the head of my home because my husband Jonathan he was a firefighter so he’d be

Jonathan he was a firefighter so he’d be

Jonathan he was a firefighter so he’d be going for days at a time sometimes and I

going for days at a time sometimes and I

going for days at a time sometimes and I made a little bit more money than him so

made a little bit more money than him so

made a little bit more money than him so I was the boss I know where I stood in

I was the boss I know where I stood in

I was the boss I know where I stood in my relationship and everyone kept

my relationship and everyone kept

my relationship and everyone kept telling me but Paula it’s a man’s world

telling me but Paula it’s a man’s world

telling me but Paula it’s a man’s world it’s a man’s world and I said well fine

it’s a man’s world and I said well fine

it’s a man’s world and I said well fine if it’s a man’s world then I’m a man in

if it’s a man’s world then I’m a man in

if it’s a man’s world then I’m a man in a woman’s body whatever anyway he was

a woman’s body whatever anyway he was

a woman’s body whatever anyway he was more of the feminine you know he was all

more of the feminine you know he was all

more of the feminine you know he was all into the universe and astrology I mean

into the universe and astrology I mean

into the universe and astrology I mean every other day something wasn’t

every other day something wasn’t

every other day something wasn’t retrograde with this man but I loved him

retrograde with this man but I loved him

retrograde with this man but I loved him you know we all want love but do you

you know we all want love but do you

you know we all want love but do you know where you stand in your

know where you stand in your

know where you stand in your relationship well the one you want to

relationship well the one you want to

relationship well the one you want to have well the one that you lost and

have well the one that you lost and

have well the one that you lost and you’re trying to get back yeah you

well there are three parts to a great

well there are three parts to a great relationship okay if you have chemistry

relationship okay if you have chemistry

relationship okay if you have chemistry and compatibility you’ve hit the jackpot

and compatibility you’ve hit the jackpot

and compatibility you’ve hit the jackpot but if you don’t have communication

but if you don’t have communication

but if you don’t have communication you’re lost at all and you’re broke but

you’re lost at all and you’re broke but

you’re lost at all and you’re broke but it’s not that complicated okay

it’s not that complicated okay

it’s not that complicated okay within every man and woman gay straight

within every man and woman gay straight

within every man and woman gay straight bi lesbian doesn’t matter

bi lesbian doesn’t matter

bi lesbian doesn’t matter there is the feminine and the masculine

there is the feminine and the masculine

there is the feminine and the masculine we call this the yin and the yang but

we call this the yin and the yang but

we call this the yin and the yang but the key is that in your relationship you

the key is that in your relationship you

the key is that in your relationship you have to choose one if not it’s too much

have to choose one if not it’s too much

have to choose one if not it’s too much confusion and not enough communication

confusion and not enough communication

confusion and not enough communication so what are you and where do you stand

so what are you and where do you stand

so what are you and where do you stand in your relationship

in your relationship

in your relationship are you the masculine or you the

are you the masculine or you the

are you the masculine or you the feminine energy let’s find out I’m gonna

feminine energy let’s find out I’m gonna

feminine energy let’s find out I’m gonna need your participation at this foot you

need your participation at this foot you

need your participation at this foot you felt to come and I know okay in in love

felt to come and I know okay in in love

felt to come and I know okay in in love we all want to be cherished and

we all want to be cherished and

we all want to be cherished and respected but who here wants to be

respected but who here wants to be

respected but who here wants to be cherished first and respected second

you were called the feminine the

you were called the feminine the co-pilot

co-pilot

co-pilot the yin now who here wants to be

the yin now who here wants to be

the yin now who here wants to be respected first and cherished second

respected first and cherished second

respected first and cherished second okay you thank you sir

okay you thank you sir

okay you thank you sir you are called the yang the masculine

you are called the yang the masculine

you are called the yang the masculine the pilot oh but who here wants to be

the pilot oh but who here wants to be

the pilot oh but who here wants to be cherished and respected equally oh yes

cherished and respected equally oh yes

cherished and respected equally oh yes you will called narcissus

[Applause]

[Applause] that’s great yes you need to go see my

that’s great yes you need to go see my

that’s great yes you need to go see my therapist

therapist

therapist her name is dr. Pat Allen well I went to

her name is dr. Pat Allen well I went to

her name is dr. Pat Allen well I went to go see her because I just couldn’t see

go see her because I just couldn’t see

go see her because I just couldn’t see any value in my husband I mean I

any value in my husband I mean I

any value in my husband I mean I couldn’t cherish him let alone respect

couldn’t cherish him let alone respect

couldn’t cherish him let alone respect him it was like when when the sign was

him it was like when when the sign was

him it was like when when the sign was going off and he’s gonna go put out a

going off and he’s gonna go put out a

going off and he’s gonna go put out a fire big deal this is I used to think I

fire big deal this is I used to think I

fire big deal this is I used to think I didn’t respect him as much as I would

didn’t respect him as much as I would

didn’t respect him as much as I would say a lawyer or a doctor or a

say a lawyer or a doctor or a

say a lawyer or a doctor or a stockbroker you know somebody who made a

stockbroker you know somebody who made a

stockbroker you know somebody who made a little bit more money than me but my

little bit more money than me but my

little bit more money than me but my therapist told me to yang’s

therapist told me to yang’s

therapist told me to yang’s don’t make a rate so masculine energies

don’t make a rate so masculine energies

don’t make a rate so masculine energies could lead to a lot of arguments and a

could lead to a lot of arguments and a

could lead to a lot of arguments and a lot of battles of the ego you know what

lot of battles of the ego you know what

lot of battles of the ego you know what I’m talking about right there’s gotta be

I’m talking about right there’s gotta be

I’m talking about right there’s gotta be a balance of the masculine and the

a balance of the masculine and the

a balance of the masculine and the feminine so me and my husband we weren’t

feminine so me and my husband we weren’t

feminine so me and my husband we weren’t gonna make it you know I’m not the

gonna make it you know I’m not the

gonna make it you know I’m not the easiest person to get along with have

easiest person to get along with have

easiest person to get along with have you ever noticed by now but I didn’t

you ever noticed by now but I didn’t

you ever noticed by now but I didn’t want to get a divorce

want to get a divorce

want to get a divorce because I know that he’s a good man so I

because I know that he’s a good man so I

because I know that he’s a good man so I had to pull myself together and one

had to pull myself together and one

had to pull myself together and one morning before we believe in for workers

morning before we believe in for workers

morning before we believe in for workers real early in the morning I said to him

real early in the morning I said to him

real early in the morning I said to him Jonathan I promise to leave my balls at

Jonathan I promise to leave my balls at

Jonathan I promise to leave my balls at the office

but I meant at this time I was gonna go

but I meant at this time I was gonna go to work and I was gonna come home from

to work and I was gonna come home from

to work and I was gonna come home from work without my balls and finally we

work without my balls and finally we

work without my balls and finally we were gonna be able to enjoy our

were gonna be able to enjoy our

were gonna be able to enjoy our chemistry our compatibility and now our

chemistry our compatibility and now our

chemistry our compatibility and now our communication balancing our masculine

communication balancing our masculine

communication balancing our masculine and feminine I would never forget that

and feminine I would never forget that

and feminine I would never forget that day and neither would you

it was September 11th yeah it was a

it was September 11th yeah it was a tragedy but as it was all happening it

tragedy but as it was all happening it

tragedy but as it was all happening it was kind of like love was in the air the

was kind of like love was in the air the

was kind of like love was in the air the loss of love the yearning for love the

loss of love the yearning for love the

loss of love the yearning for love the understanding of love among all of this

understanding of love among all of this

understanding of love among all of this mess and the shedding of the universal

mess and the shedding of the universal

mess and the shedding of the universal ego there was love my husband who I did

ego there was love my husband who I did

ego there was love my husband who I did not respect as much as I should have was

not respect as much as I should have was

not respect as much as I should have was called on this day to be a hero the men

called on this day to be a hero the men

called on this day to be a hero the men in the suits who I respected so much for

in the suits who I respected so much for

in the suits who I respected so much for how much money they made were now being

how much money they made were now being

how much money they made were now being saved by the men in uniforms and their

saved by the men in uniforms and their

saved by the men in uniforms and their value wasn’t in how much money they made

value wasn’t in how much money they made

value wasn’t in how much money they made these men in uniforms became the true

these men in uniforms became the true

these men in uniforms became the true heroes of love the perfect man that had

heroes of love the perfect man that had

heroes of love the perfect man that had the perfect balance of the masculine and

the perfect balance of the masculine and

the perfect balance of the masculine and feminine feminine enough to have the

feminine feminine enough to have the

feminine feminine enough to have the compassion to risk their lives to save

compassion to risk their lives to save

compassion to risk their lives to save another masculine enough strong enough

another masculine enough strong enough

another masculine enough strong enough to run into a burning falling town where

to run into a burning falling town where

to run into a burning falling town where to do it

to do it

to do it all for love and you and I here find it

all for love and you and I here find it

all for love and you and I here find it difficult to communicate with the ones

difficult to communicate with the ones

difficult to communicate with the ones that we love come one but you know what

it was like Jonathan was trying to tell

it was like Jonathan was trying to tell me all along but he had enough respect

me all along but he had enough respect

me all along but he had enough respect for my masculine side not to force it on

for my masculine side not to force it on

for my masculine side not to force it on me because you know you can’t force the

me because you know you can’t force the

me because you know you can’t force the masculine to do anything but I got the

masculine to do anything but I got the

masculine to do anything but I got the message that day my yang dissolved a

message that day my yang dissolved a

message that day my yang dissolved a little that day and among all at that

little that day and among all at that

little that day and among all at that craziness I was to sitting at home just

craziness I was to sitting at home just

craziness I was to sitting at home just waiting for my husband to come home so I

waiting for my husband to come home so I

waiting for my husband to come home so I could love him but respect him first and

could love him but respect him first and

could love him but respect him first and cherish him but he never came home and

cherish him but he never came home and

cherish him but he never came home and so the world mourned and I mourned him

so the world mourned and I mourned him

so the world mourned and I mourned him but to one of him I was still gonna live

but to one of him I was still gonna live

but to one of him I was still gonna live up to the promise that I made to him the

up to the promise that I made to him the

up to the promise that I made to him the last time I saw him I Jonathan that

last time I saw him I Jonathan that

last time I saw him I Jonathan that morning so I took all of this off and

morning so I took all of this off and

morning so I took all of this off and there I was as feminine as they come so

there I was as feminine as they come so

there I was as feminine as they come so I beg of you if you want to find the

I beg of you if you want to find the

I beg of you if you want to find the love that is calling you know where you

love that is calling you know where you

love that is calling you know where you stand I want to be cherished and

stand I want to be cherished and

stand I want to be cherished and respected and I’ve learned to leave my

respected and I’ve learned to leave my

respected and I’ve learned to leave my balls at the office it’s okay to

balls at the office it’s okay to

balls at the office it’s okay to understand the masculine and the

understand the masculine and the

understand the masculine and the feminine sides within us because in this

feminine sides within us because in this

feminine sides within us because in this life in this love we need both and yes

life in this love we need both and yes

life in this love we need both and yes it’s a man’s world but guess what it’s a

it’s a man’s world but guess what it’s a

it’s a man’s world but guess what it’s a woman’s universe thank you

woman’s universe thank you

woman’s universe thank you you