My Battle with Polio | Manju Utamchandani | TEDxYouth@CAJCS

good morning I am happy to be here all

good morning I am happy to be here all the moments in my life have led to this

the moments in my life have led to this

the moments in my life have led to this perfect moment today I’ve led a full

perfect moment today I’ve led a full

perfect moment today I’ve led a full life I feel whole complete and fulfilled

life I feel whole complete and fulfilled

life I feel whole complete and fulfilled today I’m going to talk to you about

today I’m going to talk to you about

today I’m going to talk to you about some difficult moments in my life

some difficult moments in my life

some difficult moments in my life how they affected me and what I did I

how they affected me and what I did I

how they affected me and what I did I was one year old when I got polio this

was one year old when I got polio this

was one year old when I got polio this affected both my legs and their hip at

affected both my legs and their hip at

affected both my legs and their hip at that time I could not sit

that time I could not sit

that time I could not sit I could not crawl in time one leg

I could not crawl in time one leg

I could not crawl in time one leg recovered this left me with paralysis

recovered this left me with paralysis

recovered this left me with paralysis from him to toe and a shortening became

from him to toe and a shortening became

from him to toe and a shortening became both my legs one leg is shorter than the

both my legs one leg is shorter than the

both my legs one leg is shorter than the other today I walked with a full leg

other today I walked with a full leg

other today I walked with a full leg brace and my dear friend my walking

brace and my dear friend my walking

brace and my dear friend my walking stick Julio happened to me at a time

stick Julio happened to me at a time

stick Julio happened to me at a time when society devalued the disabled and

when society devalued the disabled and

when society devalued the disabled and when a woman’s feet rested on her

when a woman’s feet rested on her

when a woman’s feet rested on her marriage why do I say t-value the

marriage why do I say t-value the

marriage why do I say t-value the disabled I’ll give you one example once

disabled I’ll give you one example once

disabled I’ll give you one example once when I had gone out and I asked a

when I had gone out and I asked a

when I had gone out and I asked a security guard for parking since I told

security guard for parking since I told

security guard for parking since I told in high with handicap he said him

in high with handicap he said him

in high with handicap he said him personally I’ll take you home

personally I’ll take you home

personally I’ll take you home agar handicapped oh why do you leave

agar handicapped oh why do you leave

agar handicapped oh why do you leave your home if you’re handicapped that was

your home if you’re handicapped that was

your home if you’re handicapped that was the attitude at that time when a woman’s

the attitude at that time when a woman’s

the attitude at that time when a woman’s feet rested on her marriage to be good

feet rested on her marriage to be good

feet rested on her marriage to be good marriage material you had to be

marriage material you had to be

marriage material you had to be physically perfect as you can imagine

physically perfect as you can imagine

physically perfect as you can imagine immediately my ratings fell I was then

immediately my ratings fell I was then

immediately my ratings fell I was then labeled a burden or defective The effect

labeled a burden or defective The effect

labeled a burden or defective The effect of these words on my life was monumental

of these words on my life was monumental

of these words on my life was monumental I carried this props on my shoulder for

I carried this props on my shoulder for

I carried this props on my shoulder for many years of my life I grew up with

many years of my life I grew up with

many years of my life I grew up with fear trauma many corrective surgeries

fear trauma many corrective surgeries

fear trauma many corrective surgeries faith healers my loving family and a

faith healers my loving family and a

faith healers my loving family and a strong desire to break out of the shell

strong desire to break out of the shell

strong desire to break out of the shell my fervent prayer to God used to be God

my fervent prayer to God used to be God

my fervent prayer to God used to be God please make me well please God please so

please make me well please God please so

please make me well please God please so it’s no wonder that I would put my faith

it’s no wonder that I would put my faith

it’s no wonder that I would put my faith in anyone who would offer me hope a

in anyone who would offer me hope a

in anyone who would offer me hope a faith healer came home and he said he

faith healer came home and he said he

faith healer came home and he said he would heal me he used to put little

would heal me he used to put little

would heal me he used to put little candles on my leg and then place an

candles on my leg and then place an

candles on my leg and then place an upturned glass he did this for half an

upturned glass he did this for half an

upturned glass he did this for half an hour daily he promised me that on my

hour daily he promised me that on my

hour daily he promised me that on my birthday I would be healed and well and

birthday I would be healed and well and

birthday I would be healed and well and like my friends would run and dance and

like my friends would run and dance and

like my friends would run and dance and play I was thrilled on my birthday I

play I was thrilled on my birthday I

play I was thrilled on my birthday I woke up that morning with a song in my

woke up that morning with a song in my

woke up that morning with a song in my heart today is the day today is the day

heart today is the day today is the day

heart today is the day today is the day I’m not going to be different to my

I’m not going to be different to my

I’m not going to be different to my friends and I can move as they can

friends and I can move as they can

friends and I can move as they can I threw the covers off my leg and look

I threw the covers off my leg and look

I threw the covers off my leg and look down it’s the same nothing has changed I

down it’s the same nothing has changed I

down it’s the same nothing has changed I thought okay maybe the shape won’t

thought okay maybe the shape won’t

thought okay maybe the shape won’t change

change

change maybe the strength will come back my

maybe the strength will come back my

maybe the strength will come back my first two faltering steps confirmed my

first two faltering steps confirmed my

first two faltering steps confirmed my fears nothing had changed

fears nothing had changed

fears nothing had changed there was no miracle I remember my

there was no miracle I remember my

there was no miracle I remember my mother had gotten me beautiful dress and

mother had gotten me beautiful dress and

mother had gotten me beautiful dress and a tiara to wear for my birthday but that

a tiara to wear for my birthday but that

a tiara to wear for my birthday but that birthday

birthday

birthday there was no celebration in my heart I

there was no celebration in my heart I

there was no celebration in my heart I had been let down in school I came

had been let down in school I came

had been let down in school I came across this point by William Henley out

across this point by William Henley out

across this point by William Henley out of the night that covers me black as

of the night that covers me black as

of the night that covers me black as pitch from pole to pole I thank whatever

pitch from pole to pole I thank whatever

pitch from pole to pole I thank whatever God’s may be for my unconquerable soul

God’s may be for my unconquerable soul

God’s may be for my unconquerable soul in the fell clutch of circumstance I

in the fell clutch of circumstance I

in the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud under

have not winced nor cried aloud under

have not winced nor cried aloud under the bludgeonings of chance my head is

the bludgeonings of chance my head is

the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody but unbowed it matters not how

bloody but unbowed it matters not how

bloody but unbowed it matters not how Strait the gate how charged with

Strait the gate how charged with

Strait the gate how charged with punishments the scroll I am the master

punishments the scroll I am the master

punishments the scroll I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul I

of my fate I am the captain of my soul I

of my fate I am the captain of my soul I fell in love with this point I set this

fell in love with this point I set this

fell in love with this point I set this point to myself a thousand times every

point to myself a thousand times every

point to myself a thousand times every day this point was significant because

day this point was significant because

day this point was significant because it made me realize that I am the master

it made me realize that I am the master

it made me realize that I am the master of my fate and I

of my fate and I

of my fate and I stopped believing and faith healers and

stopped believing and faith healers and

stopped believing and faith healers and started believing in myself around my

started believing in myself around my

started believing in myself around my 13th year a family friend told me that

13th year a family friend told me that

13th year a family friend told me that I’m a burden on my parents

I’m a burden on my parents

I’m a burden on my parents she said I have drained them emotionally

she said I have drained them emotionally

she said I have drained them emotionally and financially for taking me to various

and financially for taking me to various

and financially for taking me to various doctors and kaitlin’s I came home in

doctors and kaitlin’s I came home in

doctors and kaitlin’s I came home in tears angry with God

tears angry with God

tears angry with God and my destiny I locked myself up in the

and my destiny I locked myself up in the

and my destiny I locked myself up in the room and I cried in a fit of anger with

room and I cried in a fit of anger with

room and I cried in a fit of anger with God I took off my braces and threw it at

God I took off my braces and threw it at

God I took off my braces and threw it at the big picture of God in the room

the big picture of God in the room

the big picture of God in the room saying you like it you keep it that’s

saying you like it you keep it that’s

saying you like it you keep it that’s the only time in my life I’ve ever

the only time in my life I’ve ever

the only time in my life I’ve ever thrown anything at anyone and anger the

thrown anything at anyone and anger the

thrown anything at anyone and anger the law of gravity took over and my bracelet

law of gravity took over and my bracelet

law of gravity took over and my bracelet fell back I tried to break them they did

fell back I tried to break them they did

fell back I tried to break them they did not pay I cried when the tears stopped I

not pay I cried when the tears stopped I

not pay I cried when the tears stopped I said these are my final tears I shall

said these are my final tears I shall

said these are my final tears I shall cry no more today I’m reborn a stronger

cry no more today I’m reborn a stronger

cry no more today I’m reborn a stronger person nothing and no one can hurt you

person nothing and no one can hurt you

person nothing and no one can hurt you so after the theme of anger and

so after the theme of anger and

so after the theme of anger and acceptance with my leg brace I developed

acceptance with my leg brace I developed

acceptance with my leg brace I developed a friendship with it I’ll explain you

a friendship with it I’ll explain you

a friendship with it I’ll explain you know the earlier braces they used to be

know the earlier braces they used to be

know the earlier braces they used to be two steel rods that were held together

two steel rods that were held together

two steel rods that were held together with straps and it had an epoch that

with straps and it had an epoch that

with straps and it had an epoch that would allow you to bend and sit like

would allow you to bend and sit like

would allow you to bend and sit like this and stand up besides that I have

this and stand up besides that I have

this and stand up besides that I have one leg that is shorter than the other

one leg that is shorter than the other

one leg that is shorter than the other by two inches so this height of two

by two inches so this height of two

by two inches so this height of two inches was compensated by putting block

inches was compensated by putting block

inches was compensated by putting block in a wood in the shoe so now you have

in a wood in the shoe so now you have

in a wood in the shoe so now you have steel and you have wood my bracelets

steel and you have wood my bracelets

steel and you have wood my bracelets were really really heavy I tell my

were really really heavy I tell my

were really really heavy I tell my friends don’t mess with me you know I

friends don’t mess with me you know I

friends don’t mess with me you know I can hurt you you listen to what I say I

can hurt you you listen to what I say I

can hurt you you listen to what I say I just have to kick you slightly or just

just have to kick you slightly or just

just have to kick you slightly or just step on you and you would be in pain so

step on you and you would be in pain so

step on you and you would be in pain so do what I say guys didn’t work I slowly

do what I say guys didn’t work I slowly

do what I say guys didn’t work I slowly began to understand the meaning of I am

began to understand the meaning of I am

began to understand the meaning of I am the master of my fate I am the captain

the master of my fate I am the captain

the master of my fate I am the captain of

of

of my soul not from an egoistic point of

my soul not from an egoistic point of

my soul not from an egoistic point of view but that we have within us the

view but that we have within us the

view but that we have within us the control of how we handle the events in

control of how we handle the events in

control of how we handle the events in our lives life is a gift each moment in

our lives life is a gift each moment in

our lives life is a gift each moment in life experiences come to us these are

life experiences come to us these are

life experiences come to us these are gifts we can choose to unwrap these

gifts we can choose to unwrap these

gifts we can choose to unwrap these experiences these gifts not happy with

experiences these gifts not happy with

experiences these gifts not happy with what we’ve got all we can unwrap these

what we’ve got all we can unwrap these

what we’ve got all we can unwrap these gifts in an attitude of joy fun

gifts in an attitude of joy fun

gifts in an attitude of joy fun expectancy once I understood this

expectancy once I understood this

expectancy once I understood this concept I realized the key is how you

concept I realized the key is how you

concept I realized the key is how you interpret these gifts do they empower or

interpret these gifts do they empower or

interpret these gifts do they empower or disempower you I realized if I chose

disempower you I realized if I chose

disempower you I realized if I chose disempowerment that meant sitting at

disempowerment that meant sitting at

disempowerment that meant sitting at home and bemoaning my faith or I could

home and bemoaning my faith or I could

home and bemoaning my faith or I could choose empowerment and see what unfolds

choose empowerment and see what unfolds

choose empowerment and see what unfolds I chose empowerment why because I am the

I chose empowerment why because I am the

I chose empowerment why because I am the master of my fate life became then one

master of my fate life became then one

master of my fate life became then one joyous exploration unwrapping each gift

joyous exploration unwrapping each gift

joyous exploration unwrapping each gift I walked the Standard Chartered Mumbai

I walked the Standard Chartered Mumbai

I walked the Standard Chartered Mumbai marathon for several years I learned

marathon for several years I learned

marathon for several years I learned Latin American dancing salsa cha cha and

Latin American dancing salsa cha cha and

Latin American dancing salsa cha cha and I first passed the first level of exams

I first passed the first level of exams

I first passed the first level of exams I danced at Sandi’s I drove myself

I danced at Sandi’s I drove myself

I danced at Sandi’s I drove myself around Mumbai and has even driven up the

around Mumbai and has even driven up the

around Mumbai and has even driven up the mountains from needle to Madeira have

mountains from needle to Madeira have

mountains from needle to Madeira have any of you tried that drive no it’s

any of you tried that drive no it’s

any of you tried that drive no it’s exhilarating but scary I swam in

exhilarating but scary I swam in

exhilarating but scary I swam in swimming pools the leaks the Seas I went

swimming pools the leaks the Seas I went

swimming pools the leaks the Seas I went to the gym and lifted weights

to the gym and lifted weights

to the gym and lifted weights I learnt basic rock climbing I did river

I learnt basic rock climbing I did river

I learnt basic rock climbing I did river rafting I was a rotary president and

rafting I was a rotary president and

rafting I was a rotary president and conducted various projects and I worked

conducted various projects and I worked

conducted various projects and I worked and supported myself

and supported myself

and supported myself [Applause]

all these things strengthened my soul

all these things strengthened my soul there was a family I knew who hid their

there was a family I knew who hid their

there was a family I knew who hid their child who had disability she had severe

child who had disability she had severe

child who had disability she had severe polio they would hit her either in the

polio they would hit her either in the

polio they would hit her either in the bedroom not bringing her out to meet

bedroom not bringing her out to meet

bedroom not bringing her out to meet people because some way disability meant

people because some way disability meant

people because some way disability meant that they had failed when I saw this I

that they had failed when I saw this I

that they had failed when I saw this I said no that’s not my life that’s not

said no that’s not my life that’s not

said no that’s not my life that’s not how I’m going to live my life so sure

how I’m going to live my life so sure

how I’m going to live my life so sure all the things that I did I felt a fear

all the things that I did I felt a fear

all the things that I did I felt a fear and nervousness but I did it despite the

and nervousness but I did it despite the

and nervousness but I did it despite the fear I’d asked myself how would I feel

fear I’d asked myself how would I feel

fear I’d asked myself how would I feel five ten years from now if I didn’t take

five ten years from now if I didn’t take

five ten years from now if I didn’t take this experience when I was 45 I left the

this experience when I was 45 I left the

this experience when I was 45 I left the family businesses and wanted a corporate

family businesses and wanted a corporate

family businesses and wanted a corporate job I wanted to be with people who I

job I wanted to be with people who I

job I wanted to be with people who I felt would appreciate my contributions

felt would appreciate my contributions

felt would appreciate my contributions and I would feel validated by doing this

and I would feel validated by doing this

and I would feel validated by doing this corporate job of course I faced

corporate job of course I faced

corporate job of course I faced challenges by people thinking I couldn’t

challenges by people thinking I couldn’t

challenges by people thinking I couldn’t do the job

do the job

do the job one guy pointedly at the interview said

one guy pointedly at the interview said

one guy pointedly at the interview said I don’t think he’ll be able to do this

I don’t think he’ll be able to do this

I don’t think he’ll be able to do this job you have a disability I mentally

job you have a disability I mentally

job you have a disability I mentally retorted my brains are not in my legs

retorted my brains are not in my legs

retorted my brains are not in my legs but I said I’m capable it made no

but I said I’m capable it made no

but I said I’m capable it made no difference I didn’t get the jobs now I

difference I didn’t get the jobs now I

difference I didn’t get the jobs now I was handicapped

was handicapped

was handicapped these introduced declared me to be so it

these introduced declared me to be so it

these introduced declared me to be so it was a bad time my life took a turn and I

was a bad time my life took a turn and I

was a bad time my life took a turn and I joined the school for education and

joined the school for education and

joined the school for education and rehabilitation of children with

rehabilitation of children with

rehabilitation of children with disabilities from a low economic

disabilities from a low economic

disabilities from a low economic background I had been a committee member

background I had been a committee member

background I had been a committee member with an earlier what an amazing

with an earlier what an amazing

with an earlier what an amazing experience here I am with people who

experience here I am with people who

experience here I am with people who share similar challenges like me and

share similar challenges like me and

share similar challenges like me and appreciate my contributions water

appreciate my contributions water

appreciate my contributions water validation the discrimination I went

validation the discrimination I went

validation the discrimination I went through due to my disability it sparked

through due to my disability it sparked

through due to my disability it sparked in me a strong desire to do something in

in me a strong desire to do something in

in me a strong desire to do something in this field my friends say I’m driven but

this field my friends say I’m driven but

this field my friends say I’m driven but the truth is the work I do complete

the truth is the work I do complete

the truth is the work I do complete something in me during my 21 years

something in me during my 21 years

something in me during my 21 years association in this school for

association in this school for

association in this school for disability I play various roles

disability I play various roles

disability I play various roles from volunteer to committee member to

from volunteer to committee member to

from volunteer to committee member to funds and greeting cards manager to

funds and greeting cards manager to

funds and greeting cards manager to program coordinator on a macro level I

program coordinator on a macro level I

program coordinator on a macro level I raised over 10 crores for programs in

raised over 10 crores for programs in

raised over 10 crores for programs in education rehabilitation and empowerment

education rehabilitation and empowerment

education rehabilitation and empowerment of persons with disabilities I

conceptualized fund raised and built the

conceptualized fund raised and built the adult education and rehabilitation

adult education and rehabilitation

adult education and rehabilitation program I received many awards for the

program I received many awards for the

program I received many awards for the work I had done the legacy relief is not

work I had done the legacy relief is not

work I had done the legacy relief is not as much the work we do but the nights we

as much the work we do but the nights we

as much the work we do but the nights we have touched I’d like to share one of

have touched I’d like to share one of

have touched I’d like to share one of these life dinghy at school as I would

these life dinghy at school as I would

these life dinghy at school as I would go to my office in the corridor I would

go to my office in the corridor I would

go to my office in the corridor I would pass by this girl she wanted to learn

pass by this girl she wanted to learn

pass by this girl she wanted to learn conversational English

conversational English

conversational English she had cerebral palsy speech and

she had cerebral palsy speech and

she had cerebral palsy speech and movement was difficult for her so we

movement was difficult for her so we

movement was difficult for her so we started off hi how are you I am fine and

started off hi how are you I am fine and

started off hi how are you I am fine and then got into a slow conversation over

then got into a slow conversation over

then got into a slow conversation over time I see slow because of the speech

time I see slow because of the speech

time I see slow because of the speech impairment conversing was difficult a

impairment conversing was difficult a

impairment conversing was difficult a little while later two of her friends

little while later two of her friends

little while later two of her friends join us and they also want to learn

join us and they also want to learn

join us and they also want to learn English so every morning we would be

English so every morning we would be

English so every morning we would be having conversations in the corridor in

having conversations in the corridor in

having conversations in the corridor in English one day they told me that they

English one day they told me that they

English one day they told me that they admired me that they wanted to grow up

admired me that they wanted to grow up

admired me that they wanted to grow up and be like me and do the work that I do

and be like me and do the work that I do

and be like me and do the work that I do I was so touched as I humbly realized

I was so touched as I humbly realized

I was so touched as I humbly realized that I was their role model I was

that I was their role model I was

that I was their role model I was blessed to be a part of their life

spirituality has been a big and very

spirituality has been a big and very important and beautiful part of my life

important and beautiful part of my life

important and beautiful part of my life there are many times in my life when I

there are many times in my life when I

there are many times in my life when I know I’ve been guided and carried

know I’ve been guided and carried

know I’ve been guided and carried through and you know when I say carry

through and you know when I say carry

through and you know when I say carry through I mean it literally once we had

through I mean it literally once we had

through I mean it literally once we had gone to Goa there was a bunch of friends

gone to Goa there was a bunch of friends

gone to Goa there was a bunch of friends and you know how it is you go to go all

and you know how it is you go to go all

and you know how it is you go to go all you want to go to the beach so we just

you want to go to the beach so we just

you want to go to the beach so we just left our bags in the hotel room and

left our bags in the hotel room and

left our bags in the hotel room and we’re excited to get to the beach there

we’re excited to get to the beach there

we’re excited to get to the beach there were these steps leading to the beach on

were these steps leading to the beach on

were these steps leading to the beach on the third or fourth step

the third or fourth step

the third or fourth step leg brace broke and I had not taken a

leg brace broke and I had not taken a

leg brace broke and I had not taken a spare I didn’t want to go back and miss

spare I didn’t want to go back and miss

spare I didn’t want to go back and miss out on the joy of being at the beach

out on the joy of being at the beach

out on the joy of being at the beach with my friends and I didn’t want them

with my friends and I didn’t want them

with my friends and I didn’t want them to think that they had come out with

to think that they had come out with

to think that they had come out with someone who had a disability who needed

someone who had a disability who needed

someone who had a disability who needed extra attention so taking help of one of

extra attention so taking help of one of

extra attention so taking help of one of my friends and managed to get down the

my friends and managed to get down the

my friends and managed to get down the stairs there was this huge flat folder

stairs there was this huge flat folder

stairs there was this huge flat folder that locked access to the main beach

that locked access to the main beach

that locked access to the main beach every able-bodied person was able to

every able-bodied person was able to

every able-bodied person was able to walk across but my brace is broken I

walk across but my brace is broken I

walk across but my brace is broken I knew I couldn’t so I stood there with my

knew I couldn’t so I stood there with my

knew I couldn’t so I stood there with my friend wandering discussing how do I get

friend wandering discussing how do I get

friend wandering discussing how do I get across should I try and crawl like this

across should I try and crawl like this

across should I try and crawl like this on my hands or shall I try and swim far

on my hands or shall I try and swim far

on my hands or shall I try and swim far out to sea and try and meet them on the

out to sea and try and meet them on the

out to sea and try and meet them on the other side out of nowhere this gentleman

other side out of nowhere this gentleman

other side out of nowhere this gentleman appeared and he said I can carry you

appeared and he said I can carry you

appeared and he said I can carry you across I said no you can’t I’m heavy he

across I said no you can’t I’m heavy he

across I said no you can’t I’m heavy he said I won’t know till I try and he just

said I won’t know till I try and he just

said I won’t know till I try and he just lifted me and carried me across on the

lifted me and carried me across on the

lifted me and carried me across on the other side he left me and disappeared I

other side he left me and disappeared I

other side he left me and disappeared I wasn’t able to thank him properly

wasn’t able to thank him properly

wasn’t able to thank him properly today I’m in one of the best phases of

today I’m in one of the best phases of

today I’m in one of the best phases of my life I am a consultant with various

my life I am a consultant with various

my life I am a consultant with various NGOs besides that I’m a guest faculty

NGOs besides that I’m a guest faculty

NGOs besides that I’m a guest faculty and speaker I believe life should live

and speaker I believe life should live

and speaker I believe life should live to the fullest within the capacities we

to the fullest within the capacities we

to the fullest within the capacities we have I believe we can do anything we

have I believe we can do anything we

have I believe we can do anything we wish if we put our hearts and minds to

wish if we put our hearts and minds to

wish if we put our hearts and minds to it and I believe that this disability

it and I believe that this disability

it and I believe that this disability was given to me for a purpose and I am

was given to me for a purpose and I am

was given to me for a purpose and I am truly grateful for all that I’ve done

truly grateful for all that I’ve done

truly grateful for all that I’ve done I’ve spent a bit of time today talking

I’ve spent a bit of time today talking

I’ve spent a bit of time today talking about me and my journey and I’d like to

about me and my journey and I’d like to

about me and my journey and I’d like to leave you with some thoughts this is

leave you with some thoughts this is

leave you with some thoughts this is also about you and your journey you are

also about you and your journey you are

also about you and your journey you are your own captains would faith in

your own captains would faith in

your own captains would faith in yourself and your capabilities and seek

yourself and your capabilities and seek

yourself and your capabilities and seek validation from within thank you

validation from within thank you

validation from within thank you [Applause]