I’m really excited to be here today to introduce you to a skill that can change
introduce you to a skill that can change
introduce you to a skill that can change the way you see yourself it can change
the way you see yourself it can change
the way you see yourself it can change the way you see the world around you and
the way you see the world around you and
the way you see the world around you and everyone around you and it can
everyone around you and it can
everyone around you and it can absolutely change the way you go about
absolutely change the way you go about
absolutely change the way you go about reaching your goals in life and pursuing
reaching your goals in life and pursuing
reaching your goals in life and pursuing your goals and emotional intelligence is
your goals and emotional intelligence is
your goals and emotional intelligence is an absolutely critical skill because we
an absolutely critical skill because we
an absolutely critical skill because we have more than 400 emotional experiences
have more than 400 emotional experiences
have more than 400 emotional experiences every single day whether you’re aware of
every single day whether you’re aware of
every single day whether you’re aware of these experiences or not they can really
these experiences or not they can really
these experiences or not they can really drive the bus if you let them do that
drive the bus if you let them do that
drive the bus if you let them do that and emotional intelligence is your
and emotional intelligence is your
and emotional intelligence is your ability to understand your emotions and
ability to understand your emotions and
ability to understand your emotions and to respond to them effectively to
to respond to them effectively to
to respond to them effectively to produce the behavior that you want now
produce the behavior that you want now
produce the behavior that you want now to help you understand how emotional
to help you understand how emotional
to help you understand how emotional intelligence operates in the brain I
intelligence operates in the brain I
intelligence operates in the brain I need to introduce you to a guy by the
need to introduce you to a guy by the
need to introduce you to a guy by the name of Phineas Gage there’s gonna be a
name of Phineas Gage there’s gonna be a
name of Phineas Gage there’s gonna be a little bit of a challenge with this
little bit of a challenge with this
little bit of a challenge with this microphone see what I can do Phineas was
microphone see what I can do Phineas was
microphone see what I can do Phineas was a guy who was building the Burlington
a guy who was building the Burlington
a guy who was building the Burlington railroad in Vermont in the 1840s and he
railroad in Vermont in the 1840s and he
railroad in Vermont in the 1840s and he was not just any railroad Foreman he was
was not just any railroad Foreman he was
was not just any railroad Foreman he was considered to be the most capable
considered to be the most capable
considered to be the most capable Foreman in the business Phineas was very
Foreman in the business Phineas was very
Foreman in the business Phineas was very intelligent he knew how to cut through
intelligent he knew how to cut through
intelligent he knew how to cut through the rocky terrain to lay the tracks on
the rocky terrain to lay the tracks on
the rocky terrain to lay the tracks on time but he also possessed that extra
time but he also possessed that extra
time but he also possessed that extra something that made people want to work
something that made people want to work
something that made people want to work for him he was polite he was calm and
for him he was polite he was calm and
for him he was polite he was calm and cool under pressure and he was great
cool under pressure and he was great
cool under pressure and he was great with people well on this one day in
with people well on this one day in
with people well on this one day in particular
particular
particular Phineas being the hands-on manager that
Phineas being the hands-on manager that
Phineas being the hands-on manager that he was he was working with an item
he was he was working with an item
he was he was working with an item called a tamping iron about the length
called a tamping iron about the length
called a tamping iron about the length of this of this cane that I’m holding
of this of this cane that I’m holding
of this of this cane that I’m holding here made out of really dense metal like
here made out of really dense metal like
here made out of really dense metal like a crowbar and what Phineas would do is
a crowbar and what Phineas would do is
a crowbar and what Phineas would do is the way they’d used the tamping iron is
the way they’d used the tamping iron is
the way they’d used the tamping iron is they would cut a hole in the rock they
they would cut a hole in the rock they
they would cut a hole in the rock they would pour blasting powder in there
would pour blasting powder in there
would pour blasting powder in there and then they would pour sand on top
and then they would pour sand on top
and then they would pour sand on top they would take the tamping iron and
they would take the tamping iron and
they would take the tamping iron and they would tamp down the sand what this
they would tamp down the sand what this
they would tamp down the sand what this did is it gave them a very precise blast
did is it gave them a very precise blast
did is it gave them a very precise blast so on this day in particular Phineas was
so on this day in particular Phineas was
so on this day in particular Phineas was waiting for his assistant to pour sand
waiting for his assistant to pour sand
waiting for his assistant to pour sand in the hole and his men overloaded a
in the hole and his men overloaded a
in the hole and his men overloaded a train car behind him just you know
train car behind him just you know
train car behind him just you know overloaded it with boulders you can
overloaded it with boulders you can
overloaded it with boulders you can imagine the noise that it made and it
imagine the noise that it made and it
imagine the noise that it made and it distracted Phineas it also distracted
distracted Phineas it also distracted
distracted Phineas it also distracted his assistant who didn’t pour sand in
his assistant who didn’t pour sand in
his assistant who didn’t pour sand in the hole
the hole
the hole so when Phineas went and he rammed the
so when Phineas went and he rammed the
so when Phineas went and he rammed the rod into the hole it ignited the
rod into the hole it ignited the
rod into the hole it ignited the Gunpowder
Gunpowder
Gunpowder and launch the rod through his head like
and launch the rod through his head like
and launch the rod through his head like a rocket it actually landed a hundred
a rocket it actually landed a hundred
a rocket it actually landed a hundred feet behind him in the bushes and it
feet behind him in the bushes and it
feet behind him in the bushes and it entered right below his left eye here
entered right below his left eye here
entered right below his left eye here this is his skull which is on display at
this is his skull which is on display at
this is his skull which is on display at the medical library at the Harvard
the medical library at the Harvard
the medical library at the Harvard Medical School let’s say goodbye to the
Medical School let’s say goodbye to the
Medical School let’s say goodbye to the cane now I can handle this microphone so
cane now I can handle this microphone so
cane now I can handle this microphone so the area of the brain that it removed is
the area of the brain that it removed is
the area of the brain that it removed is called your left orbital frontal cortex
called your left orbital frontal cortex
called your left orbital frontal cortex and now this wouldn’t be much of a story
and now this wouldn’t be much of a story
and now this wouldn’t be much of a story to tell you except Phineas survived this
to tell you except Phineas survived this
to tell you except Phineas survived this accident without his left orbit his left
accident without his left orbit his left
accident without his left orbit his left orbital frontal cortex was parted in the
orbital frontal cortex was parted in the
orbital frontal cortex was parted in the bushes back there with with the the rod
bushes back there with with the the rod
bushes back there with with the the rod and he was sitting up under his own
and he was sitting up under his own
and he was sitting up under his own power within five minutes of the rod
power within five minutes of the rod
power within five minutes of the rod traveling through his head he logged his
traveling through his head he logged his
traveling through his head he logged his exit from the job site in the logbook
exit from the job site in the logbook
exit from the job site in the logbook and he told the town doctor what had
and he told the town doctor what had
and he told the town doctor what had happened to him took about six months
happened to him took about six months
happened to him took about six months for his physical wounds to heal and once
for his physical wounds to heal and once
for his physical wounds to heal and once they healed Phineas was ready to go back
they healed Phineas was ready to go back
they healed Phineas was ready to go back to work he was still every bit as
to work he was still every bit as
to work he was still every bit as intelligent as he had been before he was
intelligent as he had been before he was
intelligent as he had been before he was still interested in building the
still interested in building the
still interested in building the railroad his personality was the same
railroad his personality was the same
railroad his personality was the same but there was something very very key
but there was something very very key
but there was something very very key missing and it was how he responded to
missing and it was how he responded to
missing and it was how he responded to his emotions what happened is every
his emotions what happened is every
his emotions what happened is every emotion that Phineas is hat that Phineas
emotion that Phineas is hat that Phineas
emotion that Phineas is hat that Phineas had exploded unfettered into action so
had exploded unfettered into action so
had exploded unfettered into action so he was angry he was impulsive he was
he was angry he was impulsive he was
he was angry he was impulsive he was unreliable suddenly he was showing up
unreliable suddenly he was showing up
unreliable suddenly he was showing up late so here was this guy who so much of
late so here was this guy who so much of
late so here was this guy who so much of him was the same yet something else was
him was the same yet something else was
him was the same yet something else was fundamentally different let me show you
fundamentally different let me show you
fundamentally different let me show you how that works in the brain everything
how that works in the brain everything
how that works in the brain everything you experience in the world around you
you experience in the world around you
you experience in the world around you must enter at the base of your brain so
must enter at the base of your brain so
must enter at the base of your brain so if you’re listening to me speak the
if you’re listening to me speak the
if you’re listening to me speak the signal travels through your ear to the
signal travels through your ear to the
signal travels through your ear to the base of the brain if someone bumps into
base of the brain if someone bumps into
base of the brain if someone bumps into you and the seat next to you you feel
you and the seat next to you you feel
you and the seat next to you you feel that sensation it goes to the base of
that sensation it goes to the base of
that sensation it goes to the base of your brain then it travels across your
your brain then it travels across your
your brain then it travels across your brain and once it does so it travels
brain and once it does so it travels
brain and once it does so it travels through the limbic system
through the limbic system
through the limbic system this is where emotions are generated in
this is where emotions are generated in
this is where emotions are generated in Phineas case this part of the brain was
Phineas case this part of the brain was
Phineas case this part of the brain was still intact his brain was producing
still intact his brain was producing
still intact his brain was producing emotions like like normal but he lost
emotions like like normal but he lost
emotions like like normal but he lost his rational brain
his rational brain
his rational brain he lost the area of the brain where he’s
he lost the area of the brain where he’s
he lost the area of the brain where he’s able to read and respond to these
able to read and respond to these
able to read and respond to these emotions emotional intelligence combines
emotions emotional intelligence combines
emotions emotional intelligence combines the two it’s your ability to understand
the two it’s your ability to understand
the two it’s your ability to understand these emotions that you’re happening you
these emotions that you’re happening you
these emotions that you’re happening you know we’re a hardwired to be emotional
know we’re a hardwired to be emotional
know we’re a hardwired to be emotional creatures so these emotions happen in a
creatures so these emotions happen in a
creatures so these emotions happen in a split second you know before we’re able
split second you know before we’re able
split second you know before we’re able to think rationally about that what we
to think rationally about that what we
to think rationally about that what we do in respond
do in respond
do in respond in response to our emotions dictates
in response to our emotions dictates
in response to our emotions dictates that’s really what emotional
that’s really what emotional
that’s really what emotional intelligence is about now if you’re like
intelligence is about now if you’re like
intelligence is about now if you’re like me or you’re probably saying well why do
me or you’re probably saying well why do
me or you’re probably saying well why do we if this is if this is hardwired in
we if this is if this is hardwired in
we if this is if this is hardwired in our brain and we’ve known how to ideas
our brain and we’ve known how to ideas
our brain and we’ve known how to ideas about this since the 1850s of Phineas
about this since the 1850s of Phineas
about this since the 1850s of Phineas Gage why is this a TED idea why am i
Gage why is this a TED idea why am i
Gage why is this a TED idea why am i learning about this now well we live in
learning about this now well we live in
learning about this now well we live in a world that doesn’t necessarily teach
a world that doesn’t necessarily teach
a world that doesn’t necessarily teach us what’s good for us and this cola ad
us what’s good for us and this cola ad
us what’s good for us and this cola ad here from the 50s is a great example it
here from the 50s is a great example it
here from the 50s is a great example it says for a better start in life start
says for a better start in life start
says for a better start in life start Cola earlier how soon is too soon not
Cola earlier how soon is too soon not
Cola earlier how soon is too soon not soon enough laboratory tests over the
soon enough laboratory tests over the
soon enough laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies
last few years have proven that babies
last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during that
who start drinking soda during that
who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much
early formative period have a much
early formative period have a much higher chance of fitting in and gaining
higher chance of fitting in and gaining
higher chance of fitting in and gaining acceptance during those awkward preteen
acceptance during those awkward preteen
acceptance during those awkward preteen and teen years so do yourself a favor do
and teen years so do yourself a favor do
and teen years so do yourself a favor do your child a favor start them on a
your child a favor start them on a
your child a favor start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other sugary
strict regimen of sodas and other sugary
strict regimen of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now for a
carbonated beverages right now for a
carbonated beverages right now for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness now
lifetime of guaranteed happiness now
lifetime of guaranteed happiness now this is actually a satire this ad but
this is actually a satire this ad but
this is actually a satire this ad but let me let me show you a couple that
let me let me show you a couple that
let me let me show you a couple that aren’t these are real ads right here and
aren’t these are real ads right here and
aren’t these are real ads right here and they send the same kind of message
they send the same kind of message
they send the same kind of message here’s one that’s saying that sugar is a
here’s one that’s saying that sugar is a
here’s one that’s saying that sugar is a great way to diet and curb food cravings
great way to diet and curb food cravings
great way to diet and curb food cravings here we have doctors who are telling us
here we have doctors who are telling us
here we have doctors who are telling us how healthy it is to smoke and then my
how healthy it is to smoke and then my
how healthy it is to smoke and then my favorite DDT is good for me these are
favorite DDT is good for me these are
favorite DDT is good for me these are real ads of random publications this
real ads of random publications this
real ads of random publications this it’s a sign of the world we grow up and
it’s a sign of the world we grow up and
it’s a sign of the world we grow up and you know we’re taught the 3 R’s in
you know we’re taught the 3 R’s in
you know we’re taught the 3 R’s in school but we’re not taught how to lead
school but we’re not taught how to lead
school but we’re not taught how to lead we’re not taught all the capacities that
we’re not taught all the capacities that
we’re not taught all the capacities that we possess that we can utilize to make
we possess that we can utilize to make
we possess that we can utilize to make the most in life and emotional
the most in life and emotional
the most in life and emotional intelligence is absolutely one of these
intelligence is absolutely one of these
intelligence is absolutely one of these now here’s what you most people don’t
now here’s what you most people don’t
now here’s what you most people don’t know as a result of this emotional
know as a result of this emotional
know as a result of this emotional intelligence is absolutely distinct from
intelligence is absolutely distinct from
intelligence is absolutely distinct from your IQ you can be high in emotional
your IQ you can be high in emotional
your IQ you can be high in emotional intelligence and have also a really high
intelligence and have also a really high
intelligence and have also a really high IQ you can be low in one and not the
IQ you can be low in one and not the
IQ you can be low in one and not the other low in both they don’t occur
other low in both they don’t occur
other low in both they don’t occur together in any meaningful way
together in any meaningful way
together in any meaningful way despite the stereotype that people with
despite the stereotype that people with
despite the stereotype that people with high IQs have low eq’s right that that’s
high IQs have low eq’s right that that’s
high IQs have low eq’s right that that’s a stereotype because those folks stick
a stereotype because those folks stick
a stereotype because those folks stick out like a sore thumb another thing that
out like a sore thumb another thing that
out like a sore thumb another thing that people confuse with emotional
people confuse with emotional
people confuse with emotional intelligence is personality personality
intelligence is personality personality
intelligence is personality personality is a stable set of
is a stable set of
is a stable set of preferences and tendencies through which
preferences and tendencies through which
preferences and tendencies through which you approach the world it’s fixed at an
you approach the world it’s fixed at an
you approach the world it’s fixed at an early age just like your IQ so if you’re
early age just like your IQ so if you’re
early age just like your IQ so if you’re a hopeless extrovert as at age 17
a hopeless extrovert as at age 17
a hopeless extrovert as at age 17 you can’t expect that to change at age
you can’t expect that to change at age
you can’t expect that to change at age 40 and personality is in in a curse in a
40 and personality is in in a curse in a
40 and personality is in in a curse in a part of the brain that’s what
part of the brain that’s what
part of the brain that’s what neurologists call crystallized it’s
neurologists call crystallized it’s
neurologists call crystallized it’s fixed it’s not responsive to change just
fixed it’s not responsive to change just
fixed it’s not responsive to change just like IQ emotional intelligence on the
like IQ emotional intelligence on the
like IQ emotional intelligence on the other hand is an area that brain this
other hand is an area that brain this
other hand is an area that brain this pathway between your emotional and
pathway between your emotional and
pathway between your emotional and rational brains is highly plastic what
rational brains is highly plastic what
rational brains is highly plastic what that means is it’s flexible and
that means is it’s flexible and
that means is it’s flexible and responsive to change and when you work
responsive to change and when you work
responsive to change and when you work on your emotional intelligence your
on your emotional intelligence your
on your emotional intelligence your neurons will actually branch out to each
neurons will actually branch out to each
neurons will actually branch out to each other and increase the flow of
other and increase the flow of
other and increase the flow of information between your rational and
information between your rational and
information between your rational and emotional brains this is the essence of
emotional brains this is the essence of
emotional brains this is the essence of emotional intelligence there’s for
emotional intelligence there’s for
emotional intelligence there’s for emotional intelligence skills but the
emotional intelligence skills but the
emotional intelligence skills but the thing you need to know is that
thing you need to know is that
thing you need to know is that statistically they really it really
statistically they really it really
statistically they really it really comes down to what you see is personal
comes down to what you see is personal
comes down to what you see is personal competence and social competence
competence and social competence
competence and social competence personal competence is about you
personal competence is about you
personal competence is about you awareness of your own emotions and how
awareness of your own emotions and how
awareness of your own emotions and how you manage them and social competence is
you manage them and social competence is
you manage them and social competence is about you with other people it’s what
about you with other people it’s what
about you with other people it’s what you read how you’re reading and
you read how you’re reading and
you read how you’re reading and responding to other people and and what
responding to other people and and what
responding to other people and and what you do with that and the reason
you do with that and the reason
you do with that and the reason statistically there aren’t really four
statistically there aren’t really four
statistically there aren’t really four skills and it’s just kind of – it’s
skills and it’s just kind of – it’s
skills and it’s just kind of – it’s because once you become aware of your
because once you become aware of your
because once you become aware of your emotions once you take the blinders off
emotions once you take the blinders off
emotions once you take the blinders off it’s really hard not to do something
it’s really hard not to do something
it’s really hard not to do something productive with them and there’s a lot
productive with them and there’s a lot
productive with them and there’s a lot of things that operate beneath our
of things that operate beneath our
of things that operate beneath our awareness I’d like to show you one
awareness I’d like to show you one
awareness I’d like to show you one example this is from a study that was
example this is from a study that was
example this is from a study that was conducted at the University of the
conducted at the University of the
conducted at the University of the Netherlands and in this study they took
Netherlands and in this study they took
Netherlands and in this study they took people who had cortical lesions so these
people who had cortical lesions so these
people who had cortical lesions so these folks their eyes worked perfectly the
folks their eyes worked perfectly the
folks their eyes worked perfectly the optic nerves work perfectly they sent
optic nerves work perfectly they sent
optic nerves work perfectly they sent the signals back to the base of the
the signals back to the base of the
the signals back to the base of the brain where everything needs to be
brain where everything needs to be
brain where everything needs to be processed and there’s a problem there
processed and there’s a problem there
processed and there’s a problem there they had cortical lesions so the brain
they had cortical lesions so the brain
they had cortical lesions so the brain didn’t know what he was seeing even
didn’t know what he was seeing even
didn’t know what he was seeing even though their eyes were physically seen
though their eyes were physically seen
though their eyes were physically seen it so they’re blind what they did is
it so they’re blind what they did is
it so they’re blind what they did is they put these people in front of
they put these people in front of
they put these people in front of computer screens and they flashed images
computer screens and they flashed images
computer screens and they flashed images of people expressing strong emotions
of people expressing strong emotions
of people expressing strong emotions when you do that with people with sight
when you do that with people with sight
when you do that with people with sight there’s something called mirror neurons
there’s something called mirror neurons
there’s something called mirror neurons in your brain that mirror the emotional
in your brain that mirror the emotional
in your brain that mirror the emotional state of other people and you can’t help
state of other people and you can’t help
state of other people and you can’t help but have a very small emotional reaction
but have a very small emotional reaction
but have a very small emotional reaction so if I put an image of someone smiling
so if I put an image of someone smiling
so if I put an image of someone smiling really big you’ll crack a smile and if
really big you’ll crack a smile and if
really big you’ll crack a smile and if it’s someone really angry you’ll furrow
it’s someone really angry you’ll furrow
it’s someone really angry you’ll furrow your brow a little bit you can’t control
your brow a little bit you can’t control
your brow a little bit you can’t control the thing that really freaked these
the thing that really freaked these
the thing that really freaked these researchers out is that these blind
researchers out is that these blind
researchers out is that these blind people were having the same reaction as
people were having the same reaction as
people were having the same reaction as people with sight the exact same
people with sight the exact same
people with sight the exact same reaction and it just really left them
reaction and it just really left them
reaction and it just really left them scratching their heads how can this be
scratching their heads how can this be
scratching their heads how can this be the brain cannot process this what their
the brain cannot process this what their
the brain cannot process this what their eyes are seeing and and they went back
eyes are seeing and and they went back
eyes are seeing and and they went back and they further analyzed the MRIs and
and they further analyzed the MRIs and
and they further analyzed the MRIs and what they found is that there’s an
what they found is that there’s an
what they found is that there’s an alternate pathway in the brain they
alternate pathway in the brain they
alternate pathway in the brain they found that these that as the signals
found that these that as the signals
found that these that as the signals traveled down the optic nerve they were
traveled down the optic nerve they were
traveled down the optic nerve they were actually branching out and sending
actually branching out and sending
actually branching out and sending signals to the limbic system so these
signals to the limbic system so these
signals to the limbic system so these people didn’t even know what they were
people didn’t even know what they were
people didn’t even know what they were seeing they they said to them why did
seeing they they said to them why did
seeing they they said to them why did you just react why did you crack a smile
you just react why did you crack a smile
you just react why did you crack a smile what did I don’t know as a hunch why did
what did I don’t know as a hunch why did
what did I don’t know as a hunch why did you furrow your brow I don’t know is
you furrow your brow I don’t know is
you furrow your brow I don’t know is that did you see something no dude I’m
that did you see something no dude I’m
that did you see something no dude I’m blind I didn’t see anything
blind I didn’t see anything
blind I didn’t see anything how many of you have walked into a room
how many of you have walked into a room
how many of you have walked into a room full of people and you can just feel a
full of people and you can just feel a
full of people and you can just feel a mood in the room even though you can’t
mood in the room even though you can’t
mood in the room even though you can’t put your finger on it these are the kind
put your finger on it these are the kind
put your finger on it these are the kind of emotional signals that are driving
of emotional signals that are driving
of emotional signals that are driving your brain and people who are highly
your brain and people who are highly
your brain and people who are highly emotionally intelligent are very tuned
emotionally intelligent are very tuned
emotionally intelligent are very tuned into them and once you’re tuned into
into them and once you’re tuned into
into them and once you’re tuned into them they tend to produce the behavior
them they tend to produce the behavior
them they tend to produce the behavior that you want now I’m going to show you
that you want now I’m going to show you
that you want now I’m going to show you some some some stats around emotional
some some some stats around emotional
some some some stats around emotional intelligence and why it’s so important
intelligence and why it’s so important
intelligence and why it’s so important is to success and I want you to
is to success and I want you to
is to success and I want you to understand why these statistics are so
understand why these statistics are so
understand why these statistics are so powerful it’s because emotional
powerful it’s because emotional
powerful it’s because emotional intelligence is a foundational skill
intelligence is a foundational skill
intelligence is a foundational skill emotions are the primary driver of our
emotions are the primary driver of our
emotions are the primary driver of our behavior think about that picture of the
behavior think about that picture of the
behavior think about that picture of the limbic system I showed you it’s at the
limbic system I showed you it’s at the
limbic system I showed you it’s at the base of the brain everything is
base of the brain everything is
base of the brain everything is traveling through the limbic system it’s
traveling through the limbic system it’s
traveling through the limbic system it’s emotions first emotions first so when
emotions first emotions first so when
emotions first emotions first so when you master your emotions when you become
you master your emotions when you become
you master your emotions when you become aware of them and when you’re able to
aware of them and when you’re able to
aware of them and when you’re able to manage them effectively it trickles into
manage them effectively it trickles into
manage them effectively it trickles into everything you do it trickles into how
everything you do it trickles into how
everything you do it trickles into how you manage stress its affects how you
you manage stress its affects how you
you manage stress its affects how you give presentations how you work in a
give presentations how you work in a
give presentations how you work in a team how you make decisions it’s a
team how you make decisions it’s a
team how you make decisions it’s a foundational skill here’s a bit of a bit
foundational skill here’s a bit of a bit
foundational skill here’s a bit of a bit of another bit of research now we found
of another bit of research now we found
of another bit of research now we found that emotional intelligence when it
that emotional intelligence when it
that emotional intelligence when it comes to work explains about 60 percent
comes to work explains about 60 percent
comes to work explains about 60 percent of how you do if you look at the
of how you do if you look at the
of how you do if you look at the percentage of top performers what
percentage of top performers what
percentage of top performers what percentage of them are high in EQ it’s
percentage of them are high in EQ it’s
percentage of them are high in EQ it’s 90 percent and again the skeptics in the
90 percent and again the skeptics in the
90 percent and again the skeptics in the room I happen to be one I’d say well
room I happen to be one I’d say well
room I happen to be one I’d say well what percentage of low performers are
what percentage of low performers are
what percentage of low performers are high in EQ well you can have a high EQ
high in EQ well you can have a high EQ
high in EQ well you can have a high EQ and be a bottom performer there’s other
and be a bottom performer there’s other
and be a bottom performer there’s other factors at play but emotional
factors at play but emotional
factors at play but emotional intelligence
intelligence
intelligence is a very very direct route to producing
is a very very direct route to producing
is a very very direct route to producing the behavior that you want because of
the behavior that you want because of
the behavior that you want because of how your brain is wired here’s a bit of
how your brain is wired here’s a bit of
how your brain is wired here’s a bit of research we published in the Harvard
research we published in the Harvard
research we published in the Harvard Business Review and this is looking at
Business Review and this is looking at
Business Review and this is looking at emotional intelligence scores by job
emotional intelligence scores by job
emotional intelligence scores by job title so you have your individual
title so you have your individual
title so you have your individual contributor first these are people who
contributor first these are people who
contributor first these are people who don’t supervise anyone then you have
don’t supervise anyone then you have
don’t supervise anyone then you have your supervisor you know first time
your supervisor you know first time
your supervisor you know first time managers and then you have middle
managers and then you have middle
managers and then you have middle management this is where emotional
management this is where emotional
management this is where emotional intelligence scores peak because above
intelligence scores peak because above
intelligence scores peak because above middle management it is a ski slope all
middle management it is a ski slope all
middle management it is a ski slope all the way down to CEOs who have the lowest
the way down to CEOs who have the lowest
the way down to CEOs who have the lowest emotional intelligence scores in the
emotional intelligence scores in the
emotional intelligence scores in the workplace now I just told you that 90%
workplace now I just told you that 90%
workplace now I just told you that 90% of top performers have high eq’s so
of top performers have high eq’s so
of top performers have high eq’s so shouldn’t the CEOs be the top performers
shouldn’t the CEOs be the top performers
shouldn’t the CEOs be the top performers well the trick is for each of these job
well the trick is for each of these job
well the trick is for each of these job categories emotional intelligence is a
categories emotional intelligence is a
categories emotional intelligence is a big predictor of performance those with
big predictor of performance those with
big predictor of performance those with the highest IQs also tend to be the top
the highest IQs also tend to be the top
the highest IQs also tend to be the top performers but what organizations do if
performers but what organizations do if
performers but what organizations do if you think back to these wonderful ads
you think back to these wonderful ads
you think back to these wonderful ads that send us the wrong messages our
that send us the wrong messages our
that send us the wrong messages our society that sends us the wrong messages
society that sends us the wrong messages
society that sends us the wrong messages organizations perpetuate this and they
organizations perpetuate this and they
organizations perpetuate this and they promote people above okay why do you get
promote people above okay why do you get
promote people above okay why do you get promoted to be a manager because you’re
promoted to be a manager because you’re
promoted to be a manager because you’re good with people
good with people
good with people but what how do you move above
but what how do you move above
but what how do you move above management how do you become a director
management how do you become a director
management how do you become a director or senior exact CEO it’s increasingly
or senior exact CEO it’s increasingly
or senior exact CEO it’s increasingly focused on tenure on short-term
focused on tenure on short-term
focused on tenure on short-term financial gains on industry knowledge
financial gains on industry knowledge
financial gains on industry knowledge these things matter but it’s the really
these things matter but it’s the really
these things matter but it’s the really well-rounded people so people who are
well-rounded people so people who are
well-rounded people so people who are able to achieve that and also have a
able to achieve that and also have a
able to achieve that and also have a high degree of emotional intelligence
high degree of emotional intelligence
high degree of emotional intelligence that really really flourish and that’s
that really really flourish and that’s
that really really flourish and that’s the challenges for our organizations to
the challenges for our organizations to
the challenges for our organizations to buck this trend and it’s for individuals
buck this trend and it’s for individuals
buck this trend and it’s for individuals to become that well-rounded person
to become that well-rounded person
to become that well-rounded person that’s really going to achieve the
that’s really going to achieve the
that’s really going to achieve the highest level of success whatever job
highest level of success whatever job
highest level of success whatever job you’re in okay
you’re in okay
you’re in okay now people always want to know how you
now people always want to know how you
now people always want to know how you can go about increasing your emotional
can go about increasing your emotional
can go about increasing your emotional intelligence and I absolutely recommend
intelligence and I absolutely recommend
intelligence and I absolutely recommend that you test yourself and you find for
that you test yourself and you find for
that you test yourself and you find for you what your low areas are for one
you what your low areas are for one
you what your low areas are for one person or maybe social awareness for
person or maybe social awareness for
person or maybe social awareness for another person it may be self awareness
another person it may be self awareness
another person it may be self awareness and that’s a really great starting point
and that’s a really great starting point
and that’s a really great starting point but I do have three silver bullets for
but I do have three silver bullets for
but I do have three silver bullets for increasing your EQ that I can share with
increasing your EQ that I can share with
increasing your EQ that I can share with you today and these apply to a lot of
you today and these apply to a lot of
you today and these apply to a lot of people I guarantee you the majority the
people I guarantee you the majority the
people I guarantee you the majority the people in this room the first thing is
people in this room the first thing is
people in this room the first thing is to get your stress under control we all
to get your stress under control we all
to get your stress under control we all know that stress is bad news right it
know that stress is bad news right it
know that stress is bad news right it compromises your immune system it’s
compromises your immune system it’s
compromises your immune system it’s linked to heart disease
linked to heart disease
linked to heart disease depression obesity the trick is
depression obesity the trick is
depression obesity the trick is intermittent mild stress that is
intermittent mild stress that is
intermittent mild stress that is stressed you keep under control
stressed you keep under control
stressed you keep under control actually entices the brain to produce
actually entices the brain to produce
actually entices the brain to produce cells that are responsible for improved
cells that are responsible for improved
cells that are responsible for improved memory so good things happen when you
memory so good things happen when you
memory so good things happen when you start to feel some stress and you
start to feel some stress and you
start to feel some stress and you actually climb up this performance curve
actually climb up this performance curve
actually climb up this performance curve but what they found at UC Berkeley is
but what they found at UC Berkeley is
but what they found at UC Berkeley is that when the stress becomes severe or
that when the stress becomes severe or
that when the stress becomes severe or it becomes prolonged you move down the
it becomes prolonged you move down the
it becomes prolonged you move down the backside of the curve and it actually
backside of the curve and it actually
backside of the curve and it actually causes degeneration in the areas of the
causes degeneration in the areas of the
causes degeneration in the areas of the brain responsible for self-control so
brain responsible for self-control so
brain responsible for self-control so when you keep your stress under control
when you keep your stress under control
when you keep your stress under control good things are happening in your brain
good things are happening in your brain
good things are happening in your brain and when the stress starts to take you
and when the stress starts to take you
and when the stress starts to take you to far you actually are diminishing your
to far you actually are diminishing your
to far you actually are diminishing your capacity to control your behavior
capacity to control your behavior
capacity to control your behavior including control your ability to
including control your ability to
including control your ability to control your stress so it’s kind of this
control your stress so it’s kind of this
control your stress so it’s kind of this vicious cycle the key here is like I
vicious cycle the key here is like I
vicious cycle the key here is like I said it’s keeping that stress
said it’s keeping that stress
said it’s keeping that stress intermittent and having intervention
intermittent and having intervention
intermittent and having intervention strategies that you can employ to give
strategies that you can employ to give
strategies that you can employ to give yourself a break from stress there’s a
yourself a break from stress there’s a
yourself a break from stress there’s a great study conducted at UC Davis where
great study conducted at UC Davis where
great study conducted at UC Davis where they taught people a simple strategy and
they taught people a simple strategy and
they taught people a simple strategy and that was to cultivate an attitude of
that was to cultivate an attitude of
that was to cultivate an attitude of gratitude so every time these people
gratitude so every time these people
gratitude so every time these people felt stressed the the experimental group
felt stressed the the experimental group
felt stressed the the experimental group was instructed to stop and think about
was instructed to stop and think about
was instructed to stop and think about something that they were grateful for
something that they were grateful for
something that they were grateful for that’s it it sounds a little hokey but
that’s it it sounds a little hokey but
that’s it it sounds a little hokey but in these individuals that did this it
in these individuals that did this it
in these individuals that did this it actually lowered the stress hormone
actually lowered the stress hormone
actually lowered the stress hormone coders cortisol by 23% so cultivating an
coders cortisol by 23% so cultivating an
coders cortisol by 23% so cultivating an attitude of gratitude physically lowered
attitude of gratitude physically lowered
attitude of gratitude physically lowered their bar physiologically lowered their
their bar physiologically lowered their
their bar physiologically lowered their body’s response to stress so getting
body’s response to stress so getting
body’s response to stress so getting your stress under control doing all the
your stress under control doing all the
your stress under control doing all the stuff that you know you should be doing
stuff that you know you should be doing
stuff that you know you should be doing taking a walk reading a book exercising
taking a walk reading a book exercising
taking a walk reading a book exercising all these things that give you breaks
all these things that give you breaks
all these things that give you breaks that’s key to getting your stress under
that’s key to getting your stress under
that’s key to getting your stress under control
control
control the next thing the silver bullet number
the next thing the silver bullet number
the next thing the silver bullet number two for increasing your EQ is to clean
two for increasing your EQ is to clean
two for increasing your EQ is to clean up your sleep hygiene more sleep would
up your sleep hygiene more sleep would
up your sleep hygiene more sleep would be great but for a lot of people that
be great but for a lot of people that
be great but for a lot of people that isn’t going to happen and cleaning up
isn’t going to happen and cleaning up
isn’t going to happen and cleaning up your your sleep hygiene is the next best
your your sleep hygiene is the next best
your your sleep hygiene is the next best route now the reason is because when
route now the reason is because when
route now the reason is because when you’re awake toxic proteins build up in
you’re awake toxic proteins build up in
you’re awake toxic proteins build up in the neurons in your brain this is a
the neurons in your brain this is a
the neurons in your brain this is a byproduct of normal neuronal activity
byproduct of normal neuronal activity
byproduct of normal neuronal activity it’s just a part of being awake and when
it’s just a part of being awake and when
it’s just a part of being awake and when you sleep if you get the right amount of
you sleep if you get the right amount of
you sleep if you get the right amount of sleep your your your neurons actually
sleep your your your neurons actually
sleep your your your neurons actually clean themselves up and they remove
clean themselves up and they remove
clean themselves up and they remove these talks
these talks
these talks proteins when that doesn’t happen you
proteins when that doesn’t happen you
proteins when that doesn’t happen you actually they hinder your capacity to
actually they hinder your capacity to
actually they hinder your capacity to think they make you groggy they diminish
think they make you groggy they diminish
think they make you groggy they diminish your self-control and that’s why you
your self-control and that’s why you
your self-control and that’s why you feel like crud when you get you know
feel like crud when you get you know
feel like crud when you get you know three hours of sleep when you know you
three hours of sleep when you know you
three hours of sleep when you know you really need seven so for most of us the
really need seven so for most of us the
really need seven so for most of us the trick here though is you need to clean
trick here though is you need to clean
trick here though is you need to clean up your sleep hygiene because your body
up your sleep hygiene because your body
up your sleep hygiene because your body moves through a very elaborate series of
moves through a very elaborate series of
moves through a very elaborate series of stages when you sleep and if you’re not
stages when you sleep and if you’re not
stages when you sleep and if you’re not getting sleep of sufficient quality you
getting sleep of sufficient quality you
getting sleep of sufficient quality you won’t remove these toxic proteins from
won’t remove these toxic proteins from
won’t remove these toxic proteins from your brain so what do a lot of us do to
your brain so what do a lot of us do to
your brain so what do a lot of us do to diminish the quality of our sleep well
diminish the quality of our sleep well
diminish the quality of our sleep well the worst thing are is our the number
the worst thing are is our the number
the worst thing are is our the number one offender is taking things that quote
one offender is taking things that quote
one offender is taking things that quote unquote help you sleep
unquote help you sleep
unquote help you sleep anything that helps you sleep a benadryl
anything that helps you sleep a benadryl
anything that helps you sleep a benadryl three glasses of wine an ambien a nyquil
three glasses of wine an ambien a nyquil
three glasses of wine an ambien a nyquil melatonin if it helps you sleep
melatonin if it helps you sleep
melatonin if it helps you sleep it is impairing your body’s ability to
it is impairing your body’s ability to
it is impairing your body’s ability to go through the necessary sleep stages to
go through the necessary sleep stages to
go through the necessary sleep stages to remove these toxic proteins and that’s
remove these toxic proteins and that’s
remove these toxic proteins and that’s why you feel groggy the next day when
why you feel groggy the next day when
why you feel groggy the next day when you take a sleep aid so the number one
you take a sleep aid so the number one
you take a sleep aid so the number one way to clean up your sleep hygiene is is
way to clean up your sleep hygiene is is
way to clean up your sleep hygiene is is to not take something that makes you
to not take something that makes you
to not take something that makes you sleep and actually there’s kind of a CO
sleep and actually there’s kind of a CO
sleep and actually there’s kind of a CO title for poor sleep hygiene because the
title for poor sleep hygiene because the
title for poor sleep hygiene because the other thing that a lot of us do is we
other thing that a lot of us do is we
other thing that a lot of us do is we expose ourselves to blue light in the
expose ourselves to blue light in the
expose ourselves to blue light in the evening and here’s how this works in the
evening and here’s how this works in the
evening and here’s how this works in the morning sunlight is very high in blue
morning sunlight is very high in blue
morning sunlight is very high in blue wavelength light blue wavelength light
wavelength light blue wavelength light
wavelength light blue wavelength light halts melatonin production and it tells
halts melatonin production and it tells
halts melatonin production and it tells your body be awake it’s morning time
your body be awake it’s morning time
your body be awake it’s morning time afternoon sunlight is increasingly
afternoon sunlight is increasingly
afternoon sunlight is increasingly orange and red in wavelength that allows
orange and red in wavelength that allows
orange and red in wavelength that allows your body to start producing melatonin
your body to start producing melatonin
your body to start producing melatonin which prepares you for sleep all well
which prepares you for sleep all well
which prepares you for sleep all well and good but what do we do after dinner
and good but what do we do after dinner
and good but what do we do after dinner we sit in front of our massive Mac
we sit in front of our massive Mac
we sit in front of our massive Mac monitor and just bathe ourselves in blue
monitor and just bathe ourselves in blue
monitor and just bathe ourselves in blue light or read the iPad on our iPad
light or read the iPad on our iPad
light or read the iPad on our iPad you know these when you bathe yourself
you know these when you bathe yourself
you know these when you bathe yourself in blue light you’re confusing the heck
in blue light you’re confusing the heck
in blue light you’re confusing the heck out of your brain and you’re halting
out of your brain and you’re halting
out of your brain and you’re halting melatonin production and it will often
melatonin production and it will often
melatonin production and it will often keep you from going to sleep but even if
keep you from going to sleep but even if
keep you from going to sleep but even if you can go to sleep when you do this
you can go to sleep when you do this
you can go to sleep when you do this your body doesn’t get the quality of
your body doesn’t get the quality of
your body doesn’t get the quality of sleep that it needs to remove these
sleep that it needs to remove these
sleep that it needs to remove these toxic proteins so Silver Bullet number
toxic proteins so Silver Bullet number
toxic proteins so Silver Bullet number two for increasing your EQ is to clean
two for increasing your EQ is to clean
two for increasing your EQ is to clean you clean up your sleep hygiene you know
you clean up your sleep hygiene you know
you clean up your sleep hygiene you know no blue light don’t take anything that
no blue light don’t take anything that
no blue light don’t take anything that helps you sleep wake up at the same time
helps you sleep wake up at the same time
helps you sleep wake up at the same time in the morning these are all things that
in the morning these are all things that
in the morning these are all things that can help you to get your self-control
can help you to get your self-control
can help you to get your self-control under control now the third one is the
under control now the third one is the
under control now the third one is the one that people really hate me for let’s
one that people really hate me for let’s
one that people really hate me for let’s get your caffeine intake under control
get your caffeine intake under control
get your caffeine intake under control and caffeine really links back to this
and caffeine really links back to this
and caffeine really links back to this same cycle because caffeine has a very
same cycle because caffeine has a very
same cycle because caffeine has a very long half-life at six hours so when
long half-life at six hours so when
long half-life at six hours so when you’re feeling tired in the afternoon
you’re feeling tired in the afternoon
you’re feeling tired in the afternoon because you took in a seven benadryl
because you took in a seven benadryl
because you took in a seven benadryl then I for to go to sleep and you have a
then I for to go to sleep and you have a
then I for to go to sleep and you have a triple espresso by 9:00 10:00 p.m. half
triple espresso by 9:00 10:00 p.m. half
triple espresso by 9:00 10:00 p.m. half of that is still metabolically active in
of that is still metabolically active in
of that is still metabolically active in your body it’s it’s still there doing
your body it’s it’s still there doing
your body it’s it’s still there doing its thing so it makes it hard to go to
its thing so it makes it hard to go to
its thing so it makes it hard to go to sleep and even if you can go to sleep
sleep and even if you can go to sleep
sleep and even if you can go to sleep again you’re not getting the quality of
again you’re not getting the quality of
again you’re not getting the quality of sleep that you need to to remove these
sleep that you need to to remove these
sleep that you need to to remove these toxic proteins from your brain so my
toxic proteins from your brain so my
toxic proteins from your brain so my recommendation here is just to not drink
recommendation here is just to not drink
recommendation here is just to not drink any caffeine after noon and know how it
any caffeine after noon and know how it
any caffeine after noon and know how it affects your body you know some people
affects your body you know some people
affects your body you know some people can tolerate more caffeine than others
can tolerate more caffeine than others
can tolerate more caffeine than others but if you really pay attention to it
but if you really pay attention to it
but if you really pay attention to it you can see how it’s affecting your
you can see how it’s affecting your
you can see how it’s affecting your sleep
sleep
sleep so those three silver bullets will help
so those three silver bullets will help
so those three silver bullets will help you get where you need to be on the road
you get where you need to be on the road
you get where you need to be on the road to improving your emotional intelligence
to improving your emotional intelligence
to improving your emotional intelligence and I hope that some of the things I’ve
and I hope that some of the things I’ve
and I hope that some of the things I’ve taught you today proved useful as you
taught you today proved useful as you
taught you today proved useful as you pursue your goals in life thanks so much
”
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