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You Don’t Get to Make Me Happy | Carly and Martina Spiro | TEDxIIT


have you ever been bullied do you know

have you ever been bullied do you know anyone who’s been bullied have you ever

anyone who’s been bullied have you ever

anyone who’s been bullied have you ever bullied someone when we were younger we

bullied someone when we were younger we

bullied someone when we were younger we looked a lot different when I was in

looked a lot different when I was in

looked a lot different when I was in sixth grade I was diagnosed with

sixth grade I was diagnosed with

sixth grade I was diagnosed with spondylolysis which basically means that

spondylolysis which basically means that

spondylolysis which basically means that I fractured my spine I had to wear a

I fractured my spine I had to wear a

I fractured my spine I had to wear a three-inch thick plastic brace from

three-inch thick plastic brace from

three-inch thick plastic brace from front to back and I had to wear that 23

front to back and I had to wear that 23

front to back and I had to wear that 23 hours every single day couldn’t play

hours every single day couldn’t play

hours every single day couldn’t play piano couldn’t even walk because I

piano couldn’t even walk because I

piano couldn’t even walk because I couldn’t move and because of the side

couldn’t move and because of the side

couldn’t move and because of the side effects from the multiple pain killers I

effects from the multiple pain killers I

effects from the multiple pain killers I was taking I started to gain a lot of

was taking I started to gain a lot of

was taking I started to gain a lot of weight and because I couldn’t do

weight and because I couldn’t do

weight and because I couldn’t do anything

anything

anything the only thing that would make me feel

the only thing that would make me feel

the only thing that would make me feel better was eating and I ate a lot

better was eating and I ate a lot

better was eating and I ate a lot pizza donuts ice cream I was huge fast

pizza donuts ice cream I was huge fast

pizza donuts ice cream I was huge fast forward three months later brace comes

forward three months later brace comes

forward three months later brace comes off ready to go back to school I’m

off ready to go back to school I’m

off ready to go back to school I’m expecting to hear Martina oh my gosh how

expecting to hear Martina oh my gosh how

expecting to hear Martina oh my gosh how are you I miss you so much let’s make

are you I miss you so much let’s make

are you I miss you so much let’s make plans on Friday and Martina are you okay

plans on Friday and Martina are you okay

plans on Friday and Martina are you okay instead I heard Martina Hey whoa are you

instead I heard Martina Hey whoa are you

instead I heard Martina Hey whoa are you pregnant

kids called me pregnant fat and

kids called me pregnant fat and disgusting

disgusting

disgusting they wouldn’t even want to be around me

they wouldn’t even want to be around me

they wouldn’t even want to be around me or associated with me because they

or associated with me because they

or associated with me because they didn’t want to be with the fat kid any

didn’t want to be with the fat kid any

didn’t want to be with the fat kid any self-confidence that I had was gone

self-confidence that I had was gone

self-confidence that I had was gone and I felt like I had no friends except

and I felt like I had no friends except

and I felt like I had no friends except for my family well Martina was at home I

for my family well Martina was at home I

for my family well Martina was at home I used to go to school and I would come

used to go to school and I would come

used to go to school and I would come home I would watch her cry herself to

home I would watch her cry herself to

home I would watch her cry herself to sleep every single night I watched as

sleep every single night I watched as

sleep every single night I watched as her body images all of her confidence

her body images all of her confidence

her body images all of her confidence was completely destroyed and she was in

was completely destroyed and she was in

was completely destroyed and she was in so much pain

so much pain

so much pain but at school kids thought she was

but at school kids thought she was

but at school kids thought she was faking it she didn’t want to go to

faking it she didn’t want to go to

faking it she didn’t want to go to school that day she just wanted more

school that day she just wanted more

school that day she just wanted more attention they had no clue when I was a

attention they had no clue when I was a

attention they had no clue when I was a lot younger I had a speech impediment it

lot younger I had a speech impediment it

lot younger I had a speech impediment it was really hard for me to pronounce

was really hard for me to pronounce

was really hard for me to pronounce certain words now my parents would be

certain words now my parents would be

certain words now my parents would be the first to tell you I cannot stop

the first to tell you I cannot stop

the first to tell you I cannot stop talking but when I was a lot younger

talking but when I was a lot younger

talking but when I was a lot younger that was a huge problem for me the

that was a huge problem for me the

that was a huge problem for me the struggle to communicate with people made

struggle to communicate with people made

struggle to communicate with people made me feel as though my ideas and what I

me feel as though my ideas and what I

me feel as though my ideas and what I had to say wasn’t worth saying and I got

had to say wasn’t worth saying and I got

had to say wasn’t worth saying and I got really insecure about myself when I was

really insecure about myself when I was

really insecure about myself when I was in sixth grade kids called me weird

in sixth grade kids called me weird

in sixth grade kids called me weird psycho creepy awkward you name it one

psycho creepy awkward you name it one

psycho creepy awkward you name it one day after school I’ve been bullied

day after school I’ve been bullied

day after school I’ve been bullied particularly bad and I got home and I

particularly bad and I got home and I

particularly bad and I got home and I was just I was beyond upset and I kind

was just I was beyond upset and I kind

was just I was beyond upset and I kind of just thought to myself okay you can

of just thought to myself okay you can

of just thought to myself okay you can continue to be insecure continue to be

continue to be insecure continue to be

continue to be insecure continue to be upset and feel this way you can do

upset and feel this way you can do

upset and feel this way you can do something to make yourself feel better

something to make yourself feel better

something to make yourself feel better Martina and I at that point we playing

Martina and I at that point we playing

Martina and I at that point we playing piano for many years and we loved

piano for many years and we loved

piano for many years and we loved writing songs together as a hobby today

writing songs together as a hobby today

writing songs together as a hobby today we did the exact same thing and we wrote

we did the exact same thing and we wrote

we did the exact same thing and we wrote make me happy make me happy is all about

make me happy make me happy is all about

make me happy make me happy is all about empowering yourself to be the gatekeeper

empowering yourself to be the gatekeeper

empowering yourself to be the gatekeeper of every positive and negative thing

of every positive and negative thing

of every positive and negative thing coming your way and to say okay no no

coming your way and to say okay no no

coming your way and to say okay no no you do not get to make me happy it does

you do not get to make me happy it does

you do not get to make me happy it does not take you to make me happy

not take you to make me happy

not take you to make me happy it takes me it was black or white was

it takes me it was black or white was

it takes me it was black or white was never alright that’s what he taught me

never alright that’s what he taught me

never alright that’s what he taught me hinto little control

hinto little control

hinto little control I learned to see with only one eye far

I learned to see with only one eye far

I learned to see with only one eye far from living in total control

from living in total control

from living in total control [Music]

[Music]

[Music] didn’t understand they don’t understand

didn’t understand they don’t understand

didn’t understand they don’t understand about me they don’t even know how to

about me they don’t even know how to

about me they don’t even know how to make me happy all they ever do is think

make me happy all they ever do is think

make me happy all they ever do is think about them well I’m breaking out of my

about them well I’m breaking out of my

about them well I’m breaking out of my shell I got places to go

shell I got places to go

shell I got places to go help people to me will you ever tell me

help people to me will you ever tell me

help people to me will you ever tell me it takes you to make me happy that I die

it takes you to make me happy that I die

it takes you to make me happy that I die doctor

doctor

doctor well you don’t get to make me happy let

well you don’t get to make me happy let

well you don’t get to make me happy let I thought that done well you don’t get

I thought that done well you don’t get

I thought that done well you don’t get to make me happy we wrote that song we

to make me happy we wrote that song we

to make me happy we wrote that song we didn’t think anything was going to

didn’t think anything was going to

didn’t think anything was going to happen we still had two more months of

happen we still had two more months of

happen we still had two more months of sixth-grade to get through and that was

sixth-grade to get through and that was

sixth-grade to get through and that was that until the summer during that summer

that until the summer during that summer

that until the summer during that summer before seventh grade we went to a really

before seventh grade we went to a really

before seventh grade we went to a really cool songwriting camp and basically what

cool songwriting camp and basically what

cool songwriting camp and basically what you did was everyone at the camp wrote a

you did was everyone at the camp wrote a

you did was everyone at the camp wrote a song together and you would go to a

song together and you would go to a

song together and you would go to a studio and get it recorded one and done

studio and get it recorded one and done

studio and get it recorded one and done we brought our song make me happy in and

we brought our song make me happy in and

we brought our song make me happy in and the kids liked it so much that they

the kids liked it so much that they

the kids liked it so much that they wanted to record that one too so we went

wanted to record that one too so we went

wanted to record that one too so we went we recorded it and we didn’t think

we recorded it and we didn’t think

we recorded it and we didn’t think anything of it again

anything of it again

anything of it again until two weeks later when Steve Wagner

until two weeks later when Steve Wagner

until two weeks later when Steve Wagner of del mark records called my mom and

of del mark records called my mom and

of del mark records called my mom and said did your girls really write that

said did your girls really write that

said did your girls really write that song yeah they did well I don’t ever do

song yeah they did well I don’t ever do

song yeah they did well I don’t ever do this they’re totally out of my genera

this they’re totally out of my genera

this they’re totally out of my genera but I love your girls the song and the

but I love your girls the song and the

but I love your girls the song and the message so much I want to give you guys

message so much I want to give you guys

message so much I want to give you guys a record deal oh my gosh that’d be

a record deal oh my gosh that’d be

a record deal oh my gosh that’d be amazing we were so excited it was so

amazing we were so excited it was so

amazing we were so excited it was so cool to think that when we’ve been

cool to think that when we’ve been

cool to think that when we’ve been bullied and feeling so terrible about

bullied and feeling so terrible about

bullied and feeling so terrible about ourselves in unfortunate ordinary

ourselves in unfortunate ordinary

ourselves in unfortunate ordinary situations so many people go through we

situations so many people go through we

situations so many people go through we were able to do something we loved to

were able to do something we loved to

were able to do something we loved to make ourselves feel better and start a

make ourselves feel better and start a

make ourselves feel better and start a music career so when the start of

music career so when the start of

music career so when the start of seventh grade rolled around and kids

seventh grade rolled around and kids

seventh grade rolled around and kids asked us what we did that summer we just

asked us what we did that summer we just

asked us what we did that summer we just said nothing

little did they know make me happy was

little did they know make me happy was about to come out to the whole world so

about to come out to the whole world so

about to come out to the whole world so make me happy comes out and we get a ton

make me happy comes out and we get a ton

make me happy comes out and we get a ton of publicity everyone came together to

of publicity everyone came together to

of publicity everyone came together to help spread our ideas especially on one

help spread our ideas especially on one

help spread our ideas especially on one interview where a blind DJ from Waukesha

interview where a blind DJ from Waukesha

interview where a blind DJ from Waukesha Wisconsin heard us and messaged us on

Wisconsin heard us and messaged us on

Wisconsin heard us and messaged us on Facebook saying hi girls I love your

Facebook saying hi girls I love your

Facebook saying hi girls I love your song and I love your message would you

song and I love your message would you

song and I love your message would you please come up to Waukesha and meet my

please come up to Waukesha and meet my

please come up to Waukesha and meet my kids oh my gosh of course so we went to

kids oh my gosh of course so we went to

kids oh my gosh of course so we went to meet his kids and it was an entire

meet his kids and it was an entire

meet his kids and it was an entire school not only did we perform for the

school not only did we perform for the

school not only did we perform for the entire school but we also led 570 minute

entire school but we also led 570 minute

entire school but we also led 570 minute breakout sessions with those sixth

breakout sessions with those sixth

breakout sessions with those sixth graders talking about anti-bullying

graders talking about anti-bullying

graders talking about anti-bullying self-esteem and finding what you love

self-esteem and finding what you love

self-esteem and finding what you love and using it to get through a tough time

and using it to get through a tough time

and using it to get through a tough time we also started performing a lot in

we also started performing a lot in

we also started performing a lot in Waukesha Waukesha is the birthplace of

Waukesha Waukesha is the birthplace of

Waukesha Waukesha is the birthplace of Les Paul a pioneer in the making of

Les Paul a pioneer in the making of

Les Paul a pioneer in the making of electric guitars so it’s kind of like a

electric guitars so it’s kind of like a

electric guitars so it’s kind of like a mini Nashville there are tons of places

mini Nashville there are tons of places

mini Nashville there are tons of places to play and we played almost every place

to play and we played almost every place

to play and we played almost every place we could as we started performing more

we could as we started performing more

we could as we started performing more and more we realized we loved what we

and more we realized we loved what we

and more we realized we loved what we were doing and we wanted to start a

were doing and we wanted to start a

were doing and we wanted to start a music career but we were 13 we had no

music career but we were 13 we had no

music career but we were 13 we had no clue what we were doing so rather than

clue what we were doing so rather than

clue what we were doing so rather than wait for someone else to tell us we

wait for someone else to tell us we

wait for someone else to tell us we including our parents decided to do it

including our parents decided to do it

including our parents decided to do it by ourselves writing more songs

by ourselves writing more songs

by ourselves writing more songs collaborating with amazing artists

collaborating with amazing artists

collaborating with amazing artists producing and arranging music and

producing and arranging music and

producing and arranging music and putting our songs all over the internet

putting our songs all over the internet

putting our songs all over the internet so that the whole world could hear them

so that the whole world could hear them

so that the whole world could hear them because that’s what we want to do as our

because that’s what we want to do as our

because that’s what we want to do as our gigs started getting bigger and better

gigs started getting bigger and better

gigs started getting bigger and better and we played more and we built our

and we played more and we built our

and we played more and we built our career from the ground up we started

career from the ground up we started

career from the ground up we started getting some amazing opportunities in

getting some amazing opportunities in

getting some amazing opportunities in fact no bully org invited us to play at

fact no bully org invited us to play at

fact no bully org invited us to play at their broad way against bullying benefit

their broad way against bullying benefit

their broad way against bullying benefit at 54 below in New York a really famous

at 54 below in New York a really famous

at 54 below in New York a really famous Club we were also invited in to that

Club we were also invited in to that

Club we were also invited in to that Club in San Francisco and New York and

Club in San Francisco and New York and

Club in San Francisco and New York and it was so cool it was a huge step up

it was so cool it was a huge step up

it was so cool it was a huge step up from Waukesha it was really fun and that

from Waukesha it was really fun and that

from Waukesha it was really fun and that actually gave us a cool idea we wanted

actually gave us a cool idea we wanted

actually gave us a cool idea we wanted to go to New York we wanted to play we

to go to New York we wanted to play we

to go to New York we wanted to play we wanted to make connections we wanted to

wanted to make connections we wanted to

wanted to make connections we wanted to get our names

get our names

get our names up there so we begged our parents and

up there so we begged our parents and

up there so we begged our parents and then we begged them again and begged

then we begged them again and begged

then we begged them again and begged them again and finally they said yes and

them again and finally they said yes and

them again and finally they said yes and we drove up to New York and we were so

we drove up to New York and we were so

we drove up to New York and we were so excited and we got out of the car and we

excited and we got out of the car and we

excited and we got out of the car and we saw these big giant skyscrapers and

saw these big giant skyscrapers and

saw these big giant skyscrapers and everyone walking around like they knew

everyone walking around like they knew

everyone walking around like they knew exactly where they were going

exactly where they were going

exactly where they were going where were we gonna go I even remember

where were we gonna go I even remember

where were we gonna go I even remember it was a gorgeous day out it was sunny

it was a gorgeous day out it was sunny

it was a gorgeous day out it was sunny it was Saturday

it was Saturday

it was Saturday it was June in New York we step out on

it was June in New York we step out on

it was June in New York we step out on the street ready to go and my dad asks

the street ready to go and my dad asks

the street ready to go and my dad asks us all right guys what do you want to do

us all right guys what do you want to do

us all right guys what do you want to do you’re here we can relax we can sightsee

you’re here we can relax we can sightsee

you’re here we can relax we can sightsee we can walk around a little bit just get

we can walk around a little bit just get

we can walk around a little bit just get used to it

used to it

used to it what do you want to do we wanted to play

what do you want to do we wanted to play

what do you want to do we wanted to play so we took to the Internet and we

so we took to the Internet and we

so we took to the Internet and we searched up every single open mic in New

searched up every single open mic in New

searched up every single open mic in New York we started in Greenwich Village

York we started in Greenwich Village

York we started in Greenwich Village Greenwich Village is really cool because

Greenwich Village is really cool because

Greenwich Village is really cool because it has places that people like Bob Dylan

it has places that people like Bob Dylan

it has places that people like Bob Dylan Lady Gaga and Neil Diamond started their

Lady Gaga and Neil Diamond started their

Lady Gaga and Neil Diamond started their careers in when we played at these

careers in when we played at these

careers in when we played at these places that people like them have played

places that people like them have played

places that people like them have played at you could feel the history and the

at you could feel the history and the

at you could feel the history and the energy it’s almost like a buzz of all of

energy it’s almost like a buzz of all of

energy it’s almost like a buzz of all of this talent it was it was really cool it

this talent it was it was really cool it

this talent it was it was really cool it was really cool and as we started

was really cool and as we started

was really cool and as we started playing these open mics every single

playing these open mics every single

playing these open mics every single place we played out wanted us back for

place we played out wanted us back for

place we played out wanted us back for our own set in our own show soon after

our own set in our own show soon after

our own set in our own show soon after we were booking our own shows all over

we were booking our own shows all over

we were booking our own shows all over Manhattan and we were booking them just

Manhattan and we were booking them just

Manhattan and we were booking them just about every single night we also

about every single night we also

about every single night we also recorded our debut EP in New York and it

recorded our debut EP in New York and it

recorded our debut EP in New York and it was so cool it was so much fun

was so cool it was so much fun

was so cool it was so much fun and we realized that this is what we

and we realized that this is what we

and we realized that this is what we want to do for the rest of our lives so

want to do for the rest of our lives so

want to do for the rest of our lives so here we are we are still taking risks in

here we are we are still taking risks in

here we are we are still taking risks in our career every single day we have no

our career every single day we have no

our career every single day we have no clue what the future is going to hold

clue what the future is going to hold

clue what the future is going to hold we’re just beginning when we were

we’re just beginning when we were

we’re just beginning when we were bullied we went to something we loved to

bullied we went to something we loved to

bullied we went to something we loved to make us feel better about the situation

make us feel better about the situation

make us feel better about the situation about ourselves and that inspired a

about ourselves and that inspired a

about ourselves and that inspired a series of kinetic reactions that

series of kinetic reactions that

series of kinetic reactions that inspired a music career so what do you

inspired a music career so what do you

inspired a music career so what do you love what do you really want to do it

love what do you really want to do it

love what do you really want to do it only takes one spark of imagination to

only takes one spark of imagination to

only takes one spark of imagination to find

find

find it and do it and do it every single day

it and do it and do it every single day

it and do it and do it every single day and when you do it to turn an ordinary

and when you do it to turn an ordinary

and when you do it to turn an ordinary situation into something a little bit

situation into something a little bit

situation into something a little bit better to make any day a little bit

better to make any day a little bit

better to make any day a little bit better it’s like throwing darts at a

better it’s like throwing darts at a

better it’s like throwing darts at a dartboard you’re gonna throw ten million

dartboard you’re gonna throw ten million

dartboard you’re gonna throw ten million and something is going to stick and you

and something is going to stick and you

and something is going to stick and you just might wake up and realize you’re

just might wake up and realize you’re

just might wake up and realize you’re following your dreams we were so

following your dreams we were so

following your dreams we were so inspired by this TEDx talk we decide to

inspired by this TEDx talk we decide to

inspired by this TEDx talk we decide to write a song with Daniel Simmons and

write a song with Daniel Simmons and

write a song with Daniel Simmons and it’s all about recognizing everyone has

it’s all about recognizing everyone has

it’s all about recognizing everyone has their opinions they’re gonna say what

their opinions they’re gonna say what

their opinions they’re gonna say what they want to say but we’re gonna think

they want to say but we’re gonna think

they want to say but we’re gonna think what we want and that’s what’s most

what we want and that’s what’s most

what we want and that’s what’s most important

important

important it’s called think what I want people

it’s called think what I want people

it’s called think what I want people have a habit of just talking say that

have a habit of just talking say that

have a habit of just talking say that they know one is for me they say that I

they know one is for me they say that I

they know one is for me they say that I only got one option that I need to wake

only got one option that I need to wake

only got one option that I need to wake up from my dreams

up from my dreams

up from my dreams you try to change me but you’ll never

you try to change me but you’ll never

you try to change me but you’ll never fave me baby there’s no baby in my heart

fave me baby there’s no baby in my heart

fave me baby there’s no baby in my heart you can say I’m stupid that I’ll bet the

you can say I’m stupid that I’ll bet the

you can say I’m stupid that I’ll bet the do we go ahead and pro meeting you’re so

do we go ahead and pro meeting you’re so

do we go ahead and pro meeting you’re so smart I’m a singer I’m a sink with a

smart I’m a singer I’m a sink with a

smart I’m a singer I’m a sink with a wall whoa

wall whoa

wall whoa imma be little one imma be little watch

imma be little one imma be little watch

imma be little one imma be little watch your words all some in the same change

your words all some in the same change

your words all some in the same change [Music]

your words are found in the finger woods

your words are found in the finger woods ain’t making me change we want to get

ain’t making me change we want to get

ain’t making me change we want to get everyone set up

everyone set up

everyone set up [Music]

i’ma think when I want I would think

i’ma think when I want I would think what I want

what I want

what I want i’ma be what I want y’all were

i’ma be what I want y’all were

i’ma be what I want y’all were compounding the same go words ain’t

compounding the same go words ain’t

compounding the same go words ain’t making me change so you could say what

making me change so you could say what

making me change so you could say what you want

you want

you want [Music]

[Music]

[Music] I’m a bee when I’m on I’m gonna be your

I’m a bee when I’m on I’m gonna be your

I’m a bee when I’m on I’m gonna be your words all done in the same your eyes

words all done in the same your eyes

words all done in the same your eyes ain’t making me change so you could say

ain’t making me change so you could say

ain’t making me change so you could say what you are I think I won

what you are I think I won

what you are I think I won thank you thank you watch

”

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