The Chemistry of Chemistry | Maxwell Finklestein | TEDxYouth@SJII

love what why how have you ever wondered

love what why how have you ever wondered why you obsess over crush we’re holding

why you obsess over crush we’re holding

why you obsess over crush we’re holding hands with your boyfriend or girlfriend

hands with your boyfriend or girlfriend

hands with your boyfriend or girlfriend feels so great will you feel empty after

feels so great will you feel empty after

feels so great will you feel empty after a breakup the questions of these

a breakup the questions of these

a breakup the questions of these questions aren’t as simple as because

questions aren’t as simple as because

questions aren’t as simple as because you like them no the answer goes much

you like them no the answer goes much

you like them no the answer goes much deeper than that deep into the neural

deeper than that deep into the neural

deeper than that deep into the neural cognitive functions of the brain and the

cognitive functions of the brain and the

cognitive functions of the brain and the cocktail of different hormones

cocktail of different hormones

cocktail of different hormones responsible for our emotions all the way

responsible for our emotions all the way

responsible for our emotions all the way from an initial state of attraction to

from an initial state of attraction to

from an initial state of attraction to marriage so let’s explore the chemistry

marriage so let’s explore the chemistry

marriage so let’s explore the chemistry of chemistry I was really proud of that

of chemistry I was really proud of that

of chemistry I was really proud of that name to start let’s try to answer the

name to start let’s try to answer the

name to start let’s try to answer the following question why why do we feel

following question why why do we feel

following question why why do we feel attraction in other words why is finding

attraction in other words why is finding

attraction in other words why is finding the one or using a more animalistic term

the one or using a more animalistic term

the one or using a more animalistic term Suomi important why not just mate with

Suomi important why not just mate with

Suomi important why not just mate with anyone now this all relates to the

anyone now this all relates to the

anyone now this all relates to the concept of sexual selection the subset

concept of sexual selection the subset

concept of sexual selection the subset of the Darwinist theory of natural

of the Darwinist theory of natural

of the Darwinist theory of natural selection the human population varies

selection the human population varies

selection the human population varies enormously we all have different hair

enormously we all have different hair

enormously we all have different hair colors body shapes metabolisms and many

colors body shapes metabolisms and many

colors body shapes metabolisms and many of these characteristics are heritable

of these characteristics are heritable

of these characteristics are heritable meaning they get passed down from

meaning they get passed down from

meaning they get passed down from generation to generation and given that

generation to generation and given that

generation to generation and given that we have finite access to think to

we have finite access to think to

we have finite access to think to resources like water or food and shelter

resources like water or food and shelter

resources like water or food and shelter and we must compete for such resources

and we must compete for such resources

and we must compete for such resources and when we have overpopulation we have

and when we have overpopulation we have

and when we have overpopulation we have things like famine and war it’s

things like famine and war it’s

things like famine and war it’s desirable to produce offspring that with

desirable to produce offspring that with

desirable to produce offspring that with characteristics that best able them to

characteristics that best able them to

characteristics that best able them to survive

survive

survive hence the 10th is saying survival of the

hence the 10th is saying survival of the

hence the 10th is saying survival of the fittest

fittest

fittest now sexual selection comes into play

now sexual selection comes into play

now sexual selection comes into play when one when one gender prefers members

when one when one gender prefers members

when one when one gender prefers members of the opposite sex with certain

of the opposite sex with certain

of the opposite sex with certain desirable characteristics hence allowing

desirable characteristics hence allowing

desirable characteristics hence allowing these characteristics we passed down the

these characteristics we passed down the

these characteristics we passed down the future to future generations so what do

future to future generations so what do

future to future generations so what do we look for and why now for an example

we look for and why now for an example

we look for and why now for an example of sexual selection we can look to

of sexual selection we can look to

of sexual selection we can look to giraffes female drafts prefer mates with

giraffes female drafts prefer mates with

giraffes female drafts prefer mates with longer necks which are more able to find

longer necks which are more able to find

longer necks which are more able to find food in those with short with shorter

food in those with short with shorter

food in those with short with shorter necks and as a result of this we see a

necks and as a result of this we see a

necks and as a result of this we see a general population of giraffes with

general population of giraffes with

general population of giraffes with really long necks and able to eat eat

really long necks and able to eat eat

really long necks and able to eat eat leaves in the highest boughs of trees

leaves in the highest boughs of trees

leaves in the highest boughs of trees and more able to survive than those are

and more able to survive than those are

and more able to survive than those are shorter necks

shorter necks

shorter necks well what about with humans in 1995 the

well what about with humans in 1995 the

well what about with humans in 1995 the Swiss biological researcher Klaus where

Swiss biological researcher Klaus where

Swiss biological researcher Klaus where I can’t conduct an experiment to

I can’t conduct an experiment to

I can’t conduct an experiment to investigate human pheromone for human

investigate human pheromone for human

investigate human pheromone for human pheromones in their role and made

pheromones in their role and made

pheromones in their role and made preference in this study women were

preference in this study women were

preference in this study women were asked to smell t-shirts one by different

asked to smell t-shirts one by different

asked to smell t-shirts one by different men and the results showed that women

men and the results showed that women

men and the results showed that women preferred men whose MHC molecules

preferred men whose MHC molecules

preferred men whose MHC molecules molecules that are used to fight disease

molecules that are used to fight disease

molecules that are used to fight disease different from theirs now this makes

different from theirs now this makes

different from theirs now this makes sense genes that result in a greater

sense genes that result in a greater

sense genes that result in a greater variety of immunities will give

variety of immunities will give

variety of immunities will give offspring a major survival advantage and

offspring a major survival advantage and

offspring a major survival advantage and in both these examples we see a general

in both these examples we see a general

in both these examples we see a general population is created that is more able

population is created that is more able

population is created that is more able to survive now from an evolutionary

to survive now from an evolutionary

to survive now from an evolutionary perspective this is why we humans are

perspective this is why we humans are

perspective this is why we humans are enslaved by our brains our senses our

enslaved by our brains our senses our

enslaved by our brains our senses our hormones so generally gravitate towards

hormones so generally gravitate towards

hormones so generally gravitate towards certain people that we find attractive

certain people that we find attractive

certain people that we find attractive it allows us to continue the human race

it allows us to continue the human race

it allows us to continue the human race so how does this work how we programmed

so how does this work how we programmed

so how does this work how we programmed to respond in certain ways in response

to respond in certain ways in response

to respond in certain ways in response to feeling attraction how we even feel

to feeling attraction how we even feel

to feeling attraction how we even feel this attraction in the first place now

this attraction in the first place now

this attraction in the first place now the answer this question lies with

the answer this question lies with

the answer this question lies with hormones now I won’t go chew and death

hormones now I won’t go chew and death

hormones now I won’t go chew and death here but hormones are essentially

here but hormones are essentially

here but hormones are essentially chemical messengers biological

chemical messengers biological

chemical messengers biological substances that are all regulated in an

substances that are all regulated in an

substances that are all regulated in an endocrine system I set collection of

endocrine system I set collection of

endocrine system I set collection of glands that produce hormones that have

glands that produce hormones that have

glands that produce hormones that have to affect bonnet bodily functions

to affect bonnet bodily functions

to affect bonnet bodily functions ranging from things like reproduction to

ranging from things like reproduction to

ranging from things like reproduction to metabolism to growth and these aren’t

metabolism to growth and these aren’t

metabolism to growth and these aren’t the only functions of hormones every day

the only functions of hormones every day

the only functions of hormones every day we can physically see hormones carrying

we can physically see hormones carrying

we can physically see hormones carrying out their functions has anyone here ever

out their functions has anyone here ever

out their functions has anyone here ever felt happy sad hungry now these are all

felt happy sad hungry now these are all

felt happy sad hungry now these are all these are all caused by the by the

these are all caused by the by the

these are all caused by the by the release of a certain cocktail of

release of a certain cocktail of

release of a certain cocktail of different hormones that give us the

different hormones that give us the

different hormones that give us the symptoms inhaled with feeling that

symptoms inhaled with feeling that

symptoms inhaled with feeling that emotion

emotion

emotion well I’m American we have a 36 percent

well I’m American we have a 36 percent

well I’m American we have a 36 percent obesity rate I consider hunger an

obesity rate I consider hunger an

obesity rate I consider hunger an emotion but back to actual emotions when

emotion but back to actual emotions when

emotion but back to actual emotions when our heart beats faster our muscles tense

our heart beats faster our muscles tense

our heart beats faster our muscles tense up when we feel a burst of energy or an

up when we feel a burst of energy or an

up when we feel a burst of energy or an increased breathing rate our blood

increased breathing rate our blood

increased breathing rate our blood pressure rises we know that there are

pressure rises we know that there are

pressure rises we know that there are increased levels of epinephrine and

increased levels of epinephrine and

increased levels of epinephrine and norepinephrine in our bloodstream and we

norepinephrine in our bloodstream and we

norepinephrine in our bloodstream and we know that we feel a

know that we feel a

know that we feel a but what about attraction every single

but what about attraction every single

but what about attraction every single thing you feel throughout love and

thing you feel throughout love and

thing you feel throughout love and attraction is controlled by hormones and

attraction is controlled by hormones and

attraction is controlled by hormones and too often there are a lot of hormones

too often there are a lot of hormones

too often there are a lot of hormones that are rushing on our body so emotions

that are rushing on our body so emotions

that are rushing on our body so emotions can get very complicated

can get very complicated

can get very complicated during Ovation shin so let’s start

during Ovation shin so let’s start

during Ovation shin so let’s start walking through all the different stages

walking through all the different stages

walking through all the different stages of relationship maybe you feel that as

of relationship maybe you feel that as

of relationship maybe you feel that as soon as you see someone maybe it comes

soon as you see someone maybe it comes

soon as you see someone maybe it comes along significantly after but the vast

along significantly after but the vast

along significantly after but the vast majority of relationships start with at

majority of relationships start with at

majority of relationships start with at least some level attraction between two

least some level attraction between two

least some level attraction between two people referred to as lust now there are

people referred to as lust now there are

people referred to as lust now there are two different main hormones responsible

two different main hormones responsible

two different main hormones responsible for sexual attraction ones that are it

for sexual attraction ones that are it

for sexual attraction ones that are it was that everyone’s heard of before

was that everyone’s heard of before

was that everyone’s heard of before testosterone and estrogen one for men

testosterone and estrogen one for men

testosterone and estrogen one for men and both for women and each causing

and both for women and each causing

and both for women and each causing attract him towards towards the other

attract him towards towards the other

attract him towards towards the other well usually I don’t discriminate but

well usually I don’t discriminate but

well usually I don’t discriminate but now the creation of these hormones

now the creation of these hormones

now the creation of these hormones initiates from puberty which is why

initiates from puberty which is why

initiates from puberty which is why teenagers are well you know teenagers

teenagers are well you know teenagers

teenagers are well you know teenagers now in one study conducted in 2010 a

now in one study conducted in 2010 a

now in one study conducted in 2010 a group of women at different points my

group of women at different points my

group of women at different points my ovulation cycles were the same t-shirt

ovulation cycles were the same t-shirt

ovulation cycles were the same t-shirt for three nights male volunteers are

for three nights male volunteers are

for three nights male volunteers are then asked to smell a series of t-shirts

then asked to smell a series of t-shirts

then asked to smell a series of t-shirts some wore and some unworn and

some wore and some unworn and

some wore and some unworn and interestingly after smelling a shirt

interestingly after smelling a shirt

interestingly after smelling a shirt worn by by women undergoing ovulation

worn by by women undergoing ovulation

worn by by women undergoing ovulation male saliva sample is sort of increase

male saliva sample is sort of increase

male saliva sample is sort of increase into in testosterone concentrations so

into in testosterone concentrations so

into in testosterone concentrations so what does that mean this means that the

what does that mean this means that the

what does that mean this means that the same hormone that might cause an

same hormone that might cause an

same hormone that might cause an increase in the female libido during

increase in the female libido during

increase in the female libido during ovulation may also give men the

ovulation may also give men the

ovulation may also give men the testosterone boost that would encourage

testosterone boost that would encourage

testosterone boost that would encourage him to pursue a woman that he may not

him to pursue a woman that he may not

him to pursue a woman that he may not have otherwise now this is linked back

have otherwise now this is linked back

have otherwise now this is linked back to the nature of attraction how we are

to the nature of attraction how we are

to the nature of attraction how we are supposed to find mates and continue the

supposed to find mates and continue the

supposed to find mates and continue the human race being attracted to one person

human race being attracted to one person

human race being attracted to one person may inherently increase the likelihood

may inherently increase the likelihood

may inherently increase the likelihood of them being attracted back to you if

of them being attracted back to you if

of them being attracted back to you if only it worked like that all the time

only it worked like that all the time

only it worked like that all the time now before now before I go any further I

now before now before I go any further I

now before now before I go any further I want to emphasize the importance to

want to emphasize the importance to

want to emphasize the importance to differentiate between a desire for sex

differentiate between a desire for sex

differentiate between a desire for sex also known as lust in the deeper

also known as lust in the deeper

also known as lust in the deeper personal attraction this is sorry t-bo

personal attraction this is sorry t-bo

personal attraction this is sorry t-bo deeper personal attraction associated

deeper personal attraction associated

deeper personal attraction associated with romance and love things done in

with romance and love things done in

with romance and love things done in healthy long-term relationships people

healthy long-term relationships people

healthy long-term relationships people can enjoy purely physical sexual

can enjoy purely physical sexual

can enjoy purely physical sexual encounters with others that they have no

encounters with others that they have no

encounters with others that they have no real fondness for other than like an

real fondness for other than like an

real fondness for other than like an appreciation for their appearance and

appreciation for their appearance and

appreciation for their appearance and even that isn’t really essential but the

even that isn’t really essential but the

even that isn’t really essential but the bottom line here is is that lust says

bottom line here is is that lust says

bottom line here is is that lust says thing about the the bond of love in a

thing about the the bond of love in a

thing about the the bond of love in a relationship but that’s okay because

relationship but that’s okay because

relationship but that’s okay because relationships start there then progress

relationships start there then progress

relationships start there then progress to something for something more but how

to something for something more but how

to something for something more but how do we get to then something something

do we get to then something something

do we get to then something something more how do we get to an actual

more how do we get to an actual

more how do we get to an actual relationship now a major player in this

relationship now a major player in this

relationship now a major player in this is flirting but how does that work in

is flirting but how does that work in

is flirting but how does that work in animals we see flirting acts as nature’s

animals we see flirting acts as nature’s

animals we see flirting acts as nature’s solution to a problem that every

solution to a problem that every

solution to a problem that every creature faces in a world full of

creature faces in a world full of

creature faces in a world full of potential mates how to choose the right

potential mates how to choose the right

potential mates how to choose the right one now an article published in

one now an article published in

one now an article published in Psychology Today explained this where

Psychology Today explained this where

Psychology Today explained this where explains us very eloquently and I quote

explains us very eloquently and I quote

explains us very eloquently and I quote our animal and human ancestors needed a

our animal and human ancestors needed a

our animal and human ancestors needed a means of quickly and safely judging the

means of quickly and safely judging the

means of quickly and safely judging the value of potential mates without going

value of potential mates without going

value of potential mates without going all the way and it was doing pregnancy

all the way and it was doing pregnancy

all the way and it was doing pregnancy with every possible candidate they

with every possible candidate they

with every possible candidate they encountered flip now floating achieve

encountered flip now floating achieve

encountered flip now floating achieve that end offer a relatively risk-free

that end offer a relatively risk-free

that end offer a relatively risk-free set of signals which was just able to

set of signals which was just able to

set of signals which was just able to field try out sexual wares and exchange

field try out sexual wares and exchange

field try out sexual wares and exchange vital information about candidates

vital information about candidates

vital information about candidates reproductive fitness and general help

reproductive fitness and general help

reproductive fitness and general help so essentially flirting serves as the

so essentially flirting serves as the

so essentially flirting serves as the human equivalent of an animal’s mating

human equivalent of an animal’s mating

human equivalent of an animal’s mating dance when we lean towards a person when

dance when we lean towards a person when

dance when we lean towards a person when we smile at them when we make eye

we smile at them when we make eye

we smile at them when we make eye contact we as humans are conveying our

contact we as humans are conveying our

contact we as humans are conveying our feelings sending a message to other

feelings sending a message to other

feelings sending a message to other people to tell them we’re interested in

people to tell them we’re interested in

people to tell them we’re interested in them now another major player in

them now another major player in

them now another major player in flirting is touch in 2009 a psychologist

flirting is touch in 2009 a psychologist

flirting is touch in 2009 a psychologist named Matthew hurt enstein demonstrated

named Matthew hurt enstein demonstrated

named Matthew hurt enstein demonstrated that we have an innate ability to decode

that we have an innate ability to decode

that we have an innate ability to decode emotions by a touch alone now in a

emotions by a touch alone now in a

emotions by a touch alone now in a series of studies hurt and son had

series of studies hurt and son had

series of studies hurt and son had volunteer had volunteers attempt to

volunteer had volunteers attempt to

volunteer had volunteers attempt to decode emotions to list to a list of

decode emotions to list to a list of

decode emotions to list to a list of blindfolded individuals solely who touch

blindfolded individuals solely who touch

blindfolded individuals solely who touch and participants communicated eight

and participants communicated eight

and participants communicated eight distinct emotions with accuracy rates as

distinct emotions with accuracy rates as

distinct emotions with accuracy rates as high as 78% significantly higher than

high as 78% significantly higher than

high as 78% significantly higher than the chance value of about 25 percent and

the chance value of about 25 percent and

the chance value of about 25 percent and not only this touching allow you to

not only this touching allow you to

not only this touching allow you to spend emotional messages but also

spend emotional messages but also

spend emotional messages but also triggers oxytocin release enhancing

triggers oxytocin release enhancing

triggers oxytocin release enhancing trust in attachment essential aspects of

trust in attachment essential aspects of

trust in attachment essential aspects of a relationship touch also lowers stress

a relationship touch also lowers stress

a relationship touch also lowers stress hormones which not only make you feel

hormones which not only make you feel

hormones which not only make you feel better but also it reduces that initial

better but also it reduces that initial

better but also it reduces that initial sense of nervousness or fear that you

sense of nervousness or fear that you

sense of nervousness or fear that you may encounter when meeting stuff meeting

may encounter when meeting stuff meeting

may encounter when meeting stuff meeting someone attractive and that same sense

someone attractive and that same sense

someone attractive and that same sense of fear is the excuse I give my friends

of fear is the excuse I give my friends

of fear is the excuse I give my friends when they ask me what women talk to me

when they ask me what women talk to me

when they ask me what women talk to me so let’s say it works out you just

so let’s say it works out you just

so let’s say it works out you just started a relationship and you enter

started a relationship and you enter

started a relationship and you enter what’s colloquially termed as the

what’s colloquially termed as the

what’s colloquially termed as the honeymoon phase that’s the initial

honeymoon phase that’s the initial

honeymoon phase that’s the initial period of a relationship with high

period of a relationship with high

period of a relationship with high levels of passionate love characterized

levels of passionate love characterized

levels of passionate love characterized by intense feelings of attraction and

by intense feelings of attraction and

by intense feelings of attraction and ecstasy and as well as in the

ecstasy and as well as in the

ecstasy and as well as in the idealization of one’s partner now these

idealization of one’s partner now these

idealization of one’s partner now these feelings have physical manifestations –

feelings have physical manifestations –

feelings have physical manifestations – like heart palpitations and butterflies

like heart palpitations and butterflies

like heart palpitations and butterflies in the stomach and if during this time

in the stomach and if during this time

in the stomach and if during this time when two people may share a first kiss a

when two people may share a first kiss a

when two people may share a first kiss a highly memorable occurrence in any

highly memorable occurrence in any

highly memorable occurrence in any relationship assuming you’re sober now

scientists have investigated this

scientists have investigated this phenomenon and found that emotionally

phenomenon and found that emotionally

phenomenon and found that emotionally charged events whether it be anger or

charged events whether it be anger or

charged events whether it be anger or fear or character or joy are

fear or character or joy are

fear or character or joy are characterized by spike in the hormone or

characterized by spike in the hormone or

characterized by spike in the hormone or norepinephrine which primes nerve cells

norepinephrine which primes nerve cells

norepinephrine which primes nerve cells to remember events by increasing their

to remember events by increasing their

to remember events by increasing their chemical sensitivity and sites or nerves

chemical sensitivity and sites or nerves

chemical sensitivity and sites or nerves rewire to form new memory circuits so

rewire to form new memory circuits so

rewire to form new memory circuits so basically it readies our receptors tell

basically it readies our receptors tell

basically it readies our receptors tell our brains to quickly adjust and lock

our brains to quickly adjust and lock

our brains to quickly adjust and lock that memory in place something that I

that memory in place something that I

that memory in place something that I find I’m kind of interesting but back to

find I’m kind of interesting but back to

find I’m kind of interesting but back to the honeymoon phase using fMRI scanner

the honeymoon phase using fMRI scanner

the honeymoon phase using fMRI scanner scientists have actually identified

scientists have actually identified

scientists have actually identified brain regions associated with that

brain regions associated with that

brain regions associated with that feeling of love individuals who

feeling of love individuals who

feeling of love individuals who experience passionate loves show greater

experience passionate loves show greater

experience passionate loves show greater activation in areas in areas like the

activation in areas in areas like the

activation in areas in areas like the caudate nucleus important in learning

caudate nucleus important in learning

caudate nucleus important in learning and memory as well as the ventral

and memory as well as the ventral

and memory as well as the ventral tegmental area central emotional

tegmental area central emotional

tegmental area central emotional processing now both these brain areas

processing now both these brain areas

processing now both these brain areas tend to be rich in dopamine a

tend to be rich in dopamine a

tend to be rich in dopamine a neurotransmitter associated with reward

neurotransmitter associated with reward

neurotransmitter associated with reward and motivation one study also revealed

and motivation one study also revealed

and motivation one study also revealed that the recent lovers had higher level

that the recent lovers had higher level

that the recent lovers had higher level levels of nerve nerve growth factor ng x

levels of nerve nerve growth factor ng x

levels of nerve nerve growth factor ng x and protein that it aids in the

and protein that it aids in the

and protein that it aids in the development and function of neurons and

development and function of neurons and

development and function of neurons and the author has been speculated that

the author has been speculated that

the author has been speculated that these enhanced ngf levels might increase

these enhanced ngf levels might increase

these enhanced ngf levels might increase a person’s feelings of euphoria a

a person’s feelings of euphoria a

a person’s feelings of euphoria a connection and actually when measuring

connection and actually when measuring

connection and actually when measuring these ngf levels 12 to 24 months later

these ngf levels 12 to 24 months later

these ngf levels 12 to 24 months later they actually found that the differences

they actually found that the differences

they actually found that the differences between this passionate love group and

between this passionate love group and

between this passionate love group and others had actually faded so what does

others had actually faded so what does

others had actually faded so what does this mean

this mean

this mean this suggests that romantic love is an

this suggests that romantic love is an

this suggests that romantic love is an arousing yet less stressful experience

arousing yet less stressful experience

arousing yet less stressful experience but that these physiological changes are

but that these physiological changes are

but that these physiological changes are short-lived perhaps because we become

short-lived perhaps because we become

short-lived perhaps because we become acclimated with a partner over time but

acclimated with a partner over time but

acclimated with a partner over time but that’s not necessarily a bad thing

that’s not necessarily a bad thing

that’s not necessarily a bad thing according to one study at NYU

according to one study at NYU

according to one study at NYU researchers found that in that this

researchers found that in that this

researchers found that in that this phase wears off after about 30 months

phase wears off after about 30 months

phase wears off after about 30 months but and I quote many married couples

but and I quote many married couples

but and I quote many married couples reported entering a different type of

reported entering a different type of

reported entering a different type of love something just as deep not deeper

love something just as deep not deeper

love something just as deep not deeper than the initial fire so what happens

than the initial fire so what happens

than the initial fire so what happens after the honeymoon phase what happens

after the honeymoon phase what happens

after the honeymoon phase what happens when you know your partner in our and

when you know your partner in our and

when you know your partner in our and love now the drug cocaine lowers the

love now the drug cocaine lowers the

love now the drug cocaine lowers the threshold of pleasure centers in the

threshold of pleasure centers in the

threshold of pleasure centers in the brain meaning we feel really really good

brain meaning we feel really really good

brain meaning we feel really really good a lot easier in this same phenomena is

a lot easier in this same phenomena is

a lot easier in this same phenomena is seen in the brains of those in love

seen in the brains of those in love

seen in the brains of those in love essentially it’s not just taking cocaine

essentially it’s not just taking cocaine

essentially it’s not just taking cocaine or being in love that we enjoy but it’s

or being in love that we enjoy but it’s

or being in love that we enjoy but it’s that these things make everything else

that these things make everything else

that these things make everything else feel even better pain centers in the

feel even better pain centers in the

feel even better pain centers in the brain also begin to fire less so we

brain also begin to fire less so we

brain also begin to fire less so we aren’t bothered by things as much

aren’t bothered by things as much

aren’t bothered by things as much essentially we as humans love love but

essentially we as humans love love but

essentially we as humans love love but what is love now the answer to this lies

what is love now the answer to this lies

what is love now the answer to this lies not in the heart but in the brain during

not in the heart but in the brain during

not in the heart but in the brain during sexual activity or even by simply

sexual activity or even by simply

sexual activity or even by simply looking at photos of a loved one

looking at photos of a loved one

looking at photos of a loved one our brains experience surges in the

our brains experience surges in the

our brains experience surges in the hormones dopamine in onf norepinephrine

hormones dopamine in onf norepinephrine

hormones dopamine in onf norepinephrine treating arousal and causing the heart

treating arousal and causing the heart

treating arousal and causing the heart rate to rise as well as motivating us to

rate to rise as well as motivating us to

rate to rise as well as motivating us to be with that person more and more

be with that person more and more

be with that person more and more oxytocin levels also rise nourishing

oxytocin levels also rise nourishing

oxytocin levels also rise nourishing bonding and attachment however we also

bonding and attachment however we also

bonding and attachment however we also experience abnormally low levels of

experience abnormally low levels of

experience abnormally low levels of serotonin similar levels to those to the

serotonin similar levels to those to the

serotonin similar levels to those to the brains of those diagnosed with

brains of those diagnosed with

brains of those diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder a likely

obsessive-compulsive disorder a likely

obsessive-compulsive disorder a likely cause of our obsessions during early

cause of our obsessions during early

cause of our obsessions during early love what about marital or long-term

love what about marital or long-term

love what about marital or long-term love a study published in 2011 in the

love a study published in 2011 in the

love a study published in 2011 in the Journal of a social cognitive and

Journal of a social cognitive and

Journal of a social cognitive and affective neuroscience investigated the

affective neuroscience investigated the

affective neuroscience investigated the brain activity of individuals

brain activity of individuals

brain activity of individuals experiencing long-term intense romantic

experiencing long-term intense romantic

experiencing long-term intense romantic love using fMRI scanners a total of 17

love using fMRI scanners a total of 17

love using fMRI scanners a total of 17 men and women married an average of just

men and women married an average of just

men and women married an average of just over 21 years under one fMRI scanning

over 21 years under one fMRI scanning

over 21 years under one fMRI scanning while viewing facial images of their

while viewing facial images of their

while viewing facial images of their partner along with control images of of

partner along with control images of of

partner along with control images of of friends of varying degrees of closeness

friends of varying degrees of closeness

friends of varying degrees of closeness affect specific to their own antic

affect specific to their own antic

affect specific to their own antic partner were found in areas that are

partner were found in areas that are

partner were found in areas that are dopamine rich in the dopamine reward

dopamine rich in the dopamine reward

dopamine rich in the dopamine reward systems consistent with the results from

systems consistent with the results from

systems consistent with the results from early stage romantic love however

early stage romantic love however

early stage romantic love however individuals experiencing long-term love

individuals experiencing long-term love

individuals experiencing long-term love had increased activities in regions of

had increased activities in regions of

had increased activities in regions of the brain associated with maternal

the brain associated with maternal

the brain associated with maternal attachment especially regions dense with

attachment especially regions dense with

attachment especially regions dense with the hormones vasopressin and oxytocin

the hormones vasopressin and oxytocin

the hormones vasopressin and oxytocin which are known to play critical roles

which are known to play critical roles

which are known to play critical roles in monogamous pair bonding overall these

in monogamous pair bonding overall these

in monogamous pair bonding overall these results show that the reward value

results show that the reward value

results show that the reward value associated with a partner made me a

associated with a partner made me a

associated with a partner made me a sustained throughout love but in

sustained throughout love but in

sustained throughout love but in long-term partners brain systems

long-term partners brain systems

long-term partners brain systems implicated in attachment bonding play

implicated in attachment bonding play

implicated in attachment bonding play greater roles and they would in a newer

greater roles and they would in a newer

greater roles and they would in a newer relationship but what happens when these

relationship but what happens when these

relationship but what happens when these are wood systems unsatisfied what

are wood systems unsatisfied what

are wood systems unsatisfied what happens when we experience a breakup I

happens when we experience a breakup I

happens when we experience a breakup I was crushed it was a knife to the chest

was crushed it was a knife to the chest

was crushed it was a knife to the chest she ripped my heart out now metaphors

she ripped my heart out now metaphors

she ripped my heart out now metaphors like these aren’t just a mode of

like these aren’t just a mode of

like these aren’t just a mode of language scientifically speaking we

language scientifically speaking we

language scientifically speaking we actually feel as though our heart is

actually feel as though our heart is

actually feel as though our heart is being ripped out of our chest kind of

being ripped out of our chest kind of

being ripped out of our chest kind of essentially the pain of heartbreak

essentially the pain of heartbreak

essentially the pain of heartbreak activates the same exact neurological

activates the same exact neurological

activates the same exact neurological regions as those in physical pain

regions as those in physical pain

regions as those in physical pain notably the anterior cingulate cortex

notably the anterior cingulate cortex

notably the anterior cingulate cortex our brain essentially doesn’t

our brain essentially doesn’t

our brain essentially doesn’t distinguish between physical and

distinguish between physical and

distinguish between physical and emotional pain would rather hurt all the

emotional pain would rather hurt all the

emotional pain would rather hurt all the same in fact a study published in

same in fact a study published in

same in fact a study published in Psychological Science had participants

Psychological Science had participants

Psychological Science had participants describe the levels of painless that

describe the levels of painless that

describe the levels of painless that were living both a physical and socially

were living both a physical and socially

were living both a physical and socially painful experience afterwards each

painful experience afterwards each

painful experience afterwards each participant was then task to work on a

participant was then task to work on a

participant was then task to work on a series of cognitive problems in the

series of cognitive problems in the

series of cognitive problems in the progress is monitor not only did

progress is monitor not only did

progress is monitor not only did participants who would live the

participants who would live the

participants who would live the emotionally painful experience report a

emotionally painful experience report a

emotionally painful experience report a greater level of pain but they also

greater level of pain but they also

greater level of pain but they also perform perform poorly on the following

perform perform poorly on the following

perform perform poorly on the following linkit asks something about emotions

linkit asks something about emotions

linkit asks something about emotions just seems to make that pain more

just seems to make that pain more

just seems to make that pain more long-lasting and affects our bure

long-lasting and affects our bure

long-lasting and affects our bure ability to think which is why we should

ability to think which is why we should

ability to think which is why we should never deal with such issues alone and

never deal with such issues alone and

never deal with such issues alone and not only this but a study published in

not only this but a study published in

not only this but a study published in the Journal of neurophysiology examined

the Journal of neurophysiology examined

the Journal of neurophysiology examined the brain activity of an individualís

the brain activity of an individualís

the brain activity of an individualís item from a breakup with fMRI scans

item from a breakup with fMRI scans

item from a breakup with fMRI scans showing large similarities between in

showing large similarities between in

showing large similarities between in the brain activity of individuals of

the brain activity of individuals of

the brain activity of individuals of these individuals in those are covering

these individuals in those are covering

these individuals in those are covering from drug addictions

from drug addictions

from drug addictions the study examined the brains of 15

the study examined the brains of 15

the study examined the brains of 15 college-age men and women who had

college-age men and women who had

college-age men and women who had recently broken up with their partner if

recently broken up with their partner if

recently broken up with their partner if still reported feelings of love and in

still reported feelings of love and in

still reported feelings of love and in this experiment they were asked to look

this experiment they were asked to look

this experiment they were asked to look at great look at photos of the loved one

at great look at photos of the loved one

at great look at photos of the loved one among other photographs of course and

among other photographs of course and

among other photographs of course and while fMRI machines examine examine

while fMRI machines examine examine

while fMRI machines examine examine their brain activity now results

their brain activity now results

their brain activity now results revealed that activated areas of brain

revealed that activated areas of brain

revealed that activated areas of brain unique to the photo of their loved one

unique to the photo of their loved one

unique to the photo of their loved one with those that were dopamine rich in

with those that were dopamine rich in

with those that were dopamine rich in the same areas of which activate will

the same areas of which activate will

the same areas of which activate will under the pecs of cocaine now this was

under the pecs of cocaine now this was

under the pecs of cocaine now this was consistent with their hypothesis that

consistent with their hypothesis that

consistent with their hypothesis that romantic rejection is a special form of

romantic rejection is a special form of

romantic rejection is a special form of addiction explaining what the beloved is

addiction explaining what the beloved is

addiction explaining what the beloved is can be so difficult to give up our

can be so difficult to give up our

can be so difficult to give up our brains literally get hooked on love so

brains literally get hooked on love so

brains literally get hooked on love so when we go through a breakup it can look

when we go through a breakup it can look

when we go through a breakup it can look a lot like withdrawal this could also

a lot like withdrawal this could also

a lot like withdrawal this could also explain why behaviors are relating to

explain why behaviors are relating to

explain why behaviors are relating to romantic rejection can be so difficult

romantic rejection can be so difficult

romantic rejection can be so difficult to control hence even though we know

to control hence even though we know

to control hence even though we know it’s bad for us might stalker ekiz in so

it’s bad for us might stalker ekiz in so

it’s bad for us might stalker ekiz in so our exes and social media anyway just

our exes and social media anyway just

our exes and social media anyway just because their brains are seeking that

because their brains are seeking that

because their brains are seeking that dopamine award that we associate with

dopamine award that we associate with

dopamine award that we associate with our ex like an addict seeking to relapse

our ex like an addict seeking to relapse

our ex like an addict seeking to relapse fortunately however briquette pain isn’t

fortunately however briquette pain isn’t

fortunately however briquette pain isn’t permanent eventually the brain will

permanent eventually the brain will

permanent eventually the brain will accept that it will no it will no longer

accept that it will no it will no longer

accept that it will no it will no longer get the love that it deserves and levels

get the love that it deserves and levels

get the love that it deserves and levels of dopamine or normalize and the stress

of dopamine or normalize and the stress

of dopamine or normalize and the stress call that high level high levels of

call that high level high levels of

call that high level high levels of cortisol and norepinephrine will recede

cortisol and norepinephrine will recede

cortisol and norepinephrine will recede and we get over someone and this

and we get over someone and this

and we get over someone and this phenomena is eloquently explained in the

phenomena is eloquently explained in the

phenomena is eloquently explained in the book the idiot brain by Dean Burnett a

book the idiot brain by Dean Burnett a

book the idiot brain by Dean Burnett a neuroscientist at Cardiff University

neuroscientist at Cardiff University

neuroscientist at Cardiff University essentially during a relationship our

essentially during a relationship our

essentially during a relationship our brain adapts to expect the reward

brain adapts to expect the reward

brain adapts to expect the reward associated with our romantic partner

associated with our romantic partner

associated with our romantic partner think about everything the brain

think about everything the brain

think about everything the brain associates the brain invests into

associates the brain invests into

associates the brain invests into sustaining a relationship all that value

sustaining a relationship all that value

sustaining a relationship all that value placed on one person if this ceases all

placed on one person if this ceases all

placed on one person if this ceases all that expected positive sensations

that expected positive sensations

that expected positive sensations removed the brain is going to be

removed the brain is going to be

removed the brain is going to be seriously negatively affected and to the

seriously negatively affected and to the

seriously negatively affected and to the pain of a breakup

pain of a breakup

pain of a breakup however our brain chemistry will

however our brain chemistry will

however our brain chemistry will eventually revert to normal even if it

eventually revert to normal even if it

eventually revert to normal even if it is a slow process and in this case

is a slow process and in this case

is a slow process and in this case science and cliches really do match up

science and cliches really do match up

science and cliches really do match up things will get better with time now

things will get better with time now

things will get better with time now before I finish off I would like to

before I finish off I would like to

before I finish off I would like to emphasize that love is something that

emphasize that love is something that

emphasize that love is something that transcends science you could spend hours

transcends science you could spend hours

transcends science you could spend hours upon hours analyzing the why behind our

upon hours analyzing the why behind our

upon hours analyzing the why behind our emotion

emotion

emotion but never truly understand what they are

but never truly understand what they are

but never truly understand what they are what they mean I can tell you from

what they mean I can tell you from

what they mean I can tell you from personal experience that I’m just as

personal experience that I’m just as

personal experience that I’m just as emotionally incompetent now is when I

emotionally incompetent now is when I

emotionally incompetent now is when I started preparing for this presentation

started preparing for this presentation

started preparing for this presentation and a good love song will always

and a good love song will always

and a good love song will always straight the bond of love more

straight the bond of love more

straight the bond of love more effectively than any kind of scientific

effectively than any kind of scientific

effectively than any kind of scientific explanation but because there probably

explanation but because there probably

explanation but because there probably an act of war for me to subject you all

an act of war for me to subject you all

an act of war for me to subject you all to my singing voice I’m going to end

to my singing voice I’m going to end

to my singing voice I’m going to end this presentation with a poem that I

this presentation with a poem that I

this presentation with a poem that I feel truly depicts the varying nature of

feel truly depicts the varying nature of

feel truly depicts the varying nature of the journey to love and I promise I

the journey to love and I promise I

the journey to love and I promise I didn’t find out in Pinterest hurt and

didn’t find out in Pinterest hurt and

didn’t find out in Pinterest hurt and pain is much to gain peace and love it’s

pain is much to gain peace and love it’s

pain is much to gain peace and love it’s all the same confusion and doubt we’re

all the same confusion and doubt we’re

all the same confusion and doubt we’re not without we weep we smile we laugh we

not without we weep we smile we laugh we

not without we weep we smile we laugh we cry only to be hurt by one last trial

cry only to be hurt by one last trial

cry only to be hurt by one last trial life is a lesson so learn it well maybe

life is a lesson so learn it well maybe

life is a lesson so learn it well maybe one day you can tell the tale

one day you can tell the tale

one day you can tell the tale thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]