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I Will No Longer Be Victimized | Rita Saleh | TEDxHochschuleLuzern


[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

but because I just had two hours ago

but because I just had two hours ago my final and last exam you know that

my final and last exam you know that

my final and last exam you know that feeling you have when you’re having the

feeling you have when you’re having the

feeling you have when you’re having the last exam and you just like come on last

last exam and you just like come on last

last exam and you just like come on last question that’s it I’m dying okay bye

question that’s it I’m dying okay bye

question that’s it I’m dying okay bye and am i right like it’s really an

and am i right like it’s really an

and am i right like it’s really an awesome feeling and I remember when I

awesome feeling and I remember when I

awesome feeling and I remember when I was I first came here in 2015 I came

was I first came here in 2015 I came

was I first came here in 2015 I came from Lebanon I wanted to do my masters

from Lebanon I wanted to do my masters

from Lebanon I wanted to do my masters in health sciences here at the

in health sciences here at the

in health sciences here at the University of Lucerne and I remember in

University of Lucerne and I remember in

University of Lucerne and I remember in December 2015 it was the first semester

December 2015 it was the first semester

December 2015 it was the first semester and I was doing my exams

and I was doing my exams

and I was doing my exams my very first exam actually and at that

my very first exam actually and at that

my very first exam actually and at that day I was already thinking about the

day I was already thinking about the

day I was already thinking about the last exam I will be having which is

last exam I will be having which is

last exam I will be having which is today that tells you how much I stress

today that tells you how much I stress

today that tells you how much I stress about exams but I also remember the

about exams but I also remember the

about exams but I also remember the reason why I wanted to pursue this

reason why I wanted to pursue this

reason why I wanted to pursue this higher education leaving my home leaving

higher education leaving my home leaving

higher education leaving my home leaving my family coming to a country which I

my family coming to a country which I

my family coming to a country which I still do not speak the language of I’m

still do not speak the language of I’m

still do not speak the language of I’m sorry about that and this whole

sorry about that and this whole

sorry about that and this whole stressful situation and being a student

stressful situation and being a student

stressful situation and being a student again education really helped me

again education really helped me

again education really helped me overcome a lot of challenges in my life

overcome a lot of challenges in my life

overcome a lot of challenges in my life but for you to understand why education

but for you to understand why education

but for you to understand why education and particularly like why I chose

and particularly like why I chose

and particularly like why I chose education to be my tool to overcome

education to be my tool to overcome

education to be my tool to overcome challenges in life I need you to

challenges in life I need you to

challenges in life I need you to understand or to know my story

understand or to know my story

understand or to know my story you see when

you see when

you see when I was growing up in my childhood nothing

I was growing up in my childhood nothing

I was growing up in my childhood nothing much happened I was an average kid

much happened I was an average kid

much happened I was an average kid average mom and dad five sisters and two

average mom and dad five sisters and two

average mom and dad five sisters and two brothers yes we were like a football

brothers yes we were like a football

brothers yes we were like a football team and nothing special happened

team and nothing special happened

team and nothing special happened everything was normal everything was

everything was normal everything was

everything was normal everything was standard I do remember one thing which

standard I do remember one thing which

standard I do remember one thing which that I had a terrible haircut I don’t

that I had a terrible haircut I don’t

that I had a terrible haircut I don’t know how my mom thought it was like a

know how my mom thought it was like a

know how my mom thought it was like a thing I had a terrible haircut for like

thing I had a terrible haircut for like

thing I had a terrible haircut for like five years and my childhood short bangs

five years and my childhood short bangs

five years and my childhood short bangs from the front short back hair I looked

from the front short back hair I looked

from the front short back hair I looked like a mushroom from the Super Mario

like a mushroom from the Super Mario

like a mushroom from the Super Mario games I have a picture for you yeah can

games I have a picture for you yeah can

games I have a picture for you yeah can you tell which one is me how could she

you tell which one is me how could she

you tell which one is me how could she ever I don’t know but the thing is it

ever I don’t know but the thing is it

ever I don’t know but the thing is it was till the age of 12 years old that

was till the age of 12 years old that

was till the age of 12 years old that things started happening in my life I

things started happening in my life I

things started happening in my life I remember one day it was an afternoon I

remember one day it was an afternoon I

remember one day it was an afternoon I had my backpack I was walking my way

had my backpack I was walking my way

had my backpack I was walking my way back home I was four minutes away from

back home I was four minutes away from

back home I was four minutes away from home and I was just going back and I saw

home and I was just going back and I saw

home and I was just going back and I saw this man behind me you know when you’re

this man behind me you know when you’re

this man behind me you know when you’re a kid you don’t think about it who’s

a kid you don’t think about it who’s

a kid you don’t think about it who’s walking behind you in front of you next

walking behind you in front of you next

walking behind you in front of you next to view even now no one thinks about it

to view even now no one thinks about it

to view even now no one thinks about it who cares who’s walking behind me or

who cares who’s walking behind me or

who cares who’s walking behind me or next to me but somehow that man managed

next to me but somehow that man managed

next to me but somehow that man managed to come really close to me and he

to come really close to me and he

to come really close to me and he managed to put his hands on my shoulder

managed to put his hands on my shoulder

managed to put his hands on my shoulder and to hope grabbed me very hard and

and to hope grabbed me very hard and

and to hope grabbed me very hard and when I turned that turned around to see

when I turned that turned around to see

when I turned that turned around to see who is he maybe he’s someone I knew but

who is he maybe he’s someone I knew but

who is he maybe he’s someone I knew but I found out that he had his pants and

I found out that he had his pants and

I found out that he had his pants and his underwear pulled down at that moment

his underwear pulled down at that moment

his underwear pulled down at that moment I didn’t know what to think or what

I didn’t know what to think or what

I didn’t know what to think or what should I do

should I do

should I do I stood still for a solid minute not

I stood still for a solid minute not

I stood still for a solid minute not knowing what should I do

knowing what should I do

knowing what should I do until I managed to push him away from me

until I managed to push him away from me

until I managed to push him away from me and to run I ran full speed away from

and to run I ran full speed away from

and to run I ran full speed away from him I didn’t look backwards I didn’t

him I didn’t look backwards I didn’t

him I didn’t look backwards I didn’t want to know if he was running behind

want to know if he was running behind

want to know if he was running behind I didn’t want to see it I was four

I didn’t want to see it I was four

I didn’t want to see it I was four minutes away from home but because I was

minutes away from home but because I was

minutes away from home but because I was so scared I ran and I didn’t even see my

so scared I ran and I didn’t even see my

so scared I ran and I didn’t even see my home I ran past my home and after 15

home I ran past my home and after 15

home I ran past my home and after 15 minutes of running I realized oh I

minutes of running I realized oh I

minutes of running I realized oh I missed my home I need to come back I was

missed my home I need to come back I was

missed my home I need to come back I was so scared that man took away my

so scared that man took away my

so scared that man took away my childhood and my innocence from me

childhood and my innocence from me

childhood and my innocence from me and I didn’t know what to do I wasn’t in

and I didn’t know what to do I wasn’t in

and I didn’t know what to do I wasn’t in control of that situation I was a victim

control of that situation I was a victim

control of that situation I was a victim in the age of 14 years old a war started

in the age of 14 years old a war started

in the age of 14 years old a war started in my country not in the entire country

in my country not in the entire country

in my country not in the entire country but in specific regions of my country

but in specific regions of my country

but in specific regions of my country and I happen to live in those regions I

and I happen to live in those regions I

and I happen to live in those regions I didn’t belong nor my family did ever

didn’t belong nor my family did ever

didn’t belong nor my family did ever belong to a specific political party

belong to a specific political party

belong to a specific political party nothing we were neutral we don’t

nothing we were neutral we don’t

nothing we were neutral we don’t understand politics we don’t speak

understand politics we don’t speak

understand politics we don’t speak politics we don’t want any type of war

politics we don’t want any type of war

politics we don’t want any type of war who would want war and I remember that

who would want war and I remember that

who would want war and I remember that when the worst started we remained home

when the worst started we remained home

when the worst started we remained home we didn’t move because we we are not

we didn’t move because we we are not

we didn’t move because we we are not part of it so why should we run but I

part of it so why should we run but I

part of it so why should we run but I remember the very first bomb hitting a

remember the very first bomb hitting a

remember the very first bomb hitting a nearby building of our house we were

nearby building of our house we were

nearby building of our house we were home my sister’s my brother is my mom

home my sister’s my brother is my mom

home my sister’s my brother is my mom and my dad and when we when we heard it

and my dad and when we when we heard it

and my dad and when we when we heard it we just ran all over the house we were

we just ran all over the house we were

we just ran all over the house we were screaming we were crying we were yelling

screaming we were crying we were yelling

screaming we were crying we were yelling we were so afraid we wanted to reach a

we were so afraid we wanted to reach a

we were so afraid we wanted to reach a room that had no glasses in it or

room that had no glasses in it or

room that had no glasses in it or windows because we were afraid the

windows because we were afraid the

windows because we were afraid the pressure that the bomb creates would

pressure that the bomb creates would

pressure that the bomb creates would shatter the glass all over us and we

shatter the glass all over us and we

shatter the glass all over us and we were sitting on the floor I wanted to

were sitting on the floor I wanted to

were sitting on the floor I wanted to tell them that I’m scared that I needed

tell them that I’m scared that I needed

tell them that I’m scared that I needed help but I couldn’t because they were

help but I couldn’t because they were

help but I couldn’t because they were scared as well and watching your family

scared as well and watching your family

scared as well and watching your family your whole family afraid and you can’t

your whole family afraid and you can’t

your whole family afraid and you can’t do anything about it and you’re not in

do anything about it and you’re not in

do anything about it and you’re not in control of the situation

control of the situation

control of the situation and you obviously didn’t decide for this

and you obviously didn’t decide for this

and you obviously didn’t decide for this situation to happen to you war just

situation to happen to you war just

situation to happen to you war just brings defeat instruction and it brings

brings defeat instruction and it brings

brings defeat instruction and it brings the worst in people

the worst in people

the worst in people and I get to experience that the

and I get to experience that the

and I get to experience that the following week we had to run away from

following week we had to run away from

following week we had to run away from home and I remember my mom and my

home and I remember my mom and my

home and I remember my mom and my sisters and my brothers half of them

sisters and my brothers half of them

sisters and my brothers half of them they were getting in a car and I was

they were getting in a car and I was

they were getting in a car and I was getting into a different car and I

getting into a different car and I

getting into a different car and I remember at that moment thinking oh my

remember at that moment thinking oh my

remember at that moment thinking oh my god what if a bomb hits them when we’re

god what if a bomb hits them when we’re

god what if a bomb hits them when we’re driving away well I see the bomb hit

driving away well I see the bomb hit

driving away well I see the bomb hit their car oh I see my mom will they die

their car oh I see my mom will they die

their car oh I see my mom will they die will I die what will happen to me where

will I die what will happen to me where

will I die what will happen to me where are we going even I didn’t know anything

are we going even I didn’t know anything

are we going even I didn’t know anything again I was victimized

again I was victimized

again I was victimized I was completely afraid the situation

I was completely afraid the situation

I was completely afraid the situation wasn’t mine to take control of it wasn’t

wasn’t mine to take control of it wasn’t

wasn’t mine to take control of it wasn’t my decision and I had absolutely no

my decision and I had absolutely no

my decision and I had absolutely no power over it and that was it I was like

power over it and that was it I was like

power over it and that was it I was like this is the worst thing that could

this is the worst thing that could

this is the worst thing that could happen to me seriously like what’s worse

happen to me seriously like what’s worse

happen to me seriously like what’s worse than war right

than war right

than war right what could ever happen after this I was

what could ever happen after this I was

what could ever happen after this I was wrong at the age of 18 I was with my

wrong at the age of 18 I was with my

wrong at the age of 18 I was with my sister’s two sisters and a friend of

sister’s two sisters and a friend of

sister’s two sisters and a friend of ours we were in a car we had dinner in a

ours we were in a car we had dinner in a

ours we were in a car we had dinner in a restaurant and we were driving back home

restaurant and we were driving back home

restaurant and we were driving back home so my sister was driving I was sitting

so my sister was driving I was sitting

so my sister was driving I was sitting in the front next to her and my sister

in the front next to her and my sister

in the front next to her and my sister and our friend were sitting in the back

and our friend were sitting in the back

and our friend were sitting in the back as you can see it was a highway nothing

as you can see it was a highway nothing

as you can see it was a highway nothing can happen on a highway there’s people

can happen on a highway there’s people

can happen on a highway there’s people all over you all around you but there

all over you all around you but there

all over you all around you but there was a car or an SUV who tried to block

was a car or an SUV who tried to block

was a car or an SUV who tried to block our road continuously until they

our road continuously until they

our road continuously until they succeeded we were driving and they just

succeeded we were driving and they just

succeeded we were driving and they just blocked our way – man get out of the car

blocked our way – man get out of the car

blocked our way – man get out of the car with rifles and heavy machinery I don’t

with rifles and heavy machinery I don’t

with rifles and heavy machinery I don’t know what type of guns they

know what type of guns they

know what type of guns they but I know I was the long one it wasn’t

but I know I was the long one it wasn’t

but I know I was the long one it wasn’t the small one and one man came and stood

the small one and one man came and stood

the small one and one man came and stood next to my window and the other man next

next to my window and the other man next

next to my window and the other man next to my sister’s window and they had their

to my sister’s window and they had their

to my sister’s window and they had their rifles aimed at us they didn’t want to

rifles aimed at us they didn’t want to

rifles aimed at us they didn’t want to kidnap us but they did want us to leave

kidnap us but they did want us to leave

kidnap us but they did want us to leave the car so they can steal it

the car so they can steal it

the car so they can steal it I at that moment I was screaming and

I at that moment I was screaming and

I at that moment I was screaming and crying I was so afraid I couldn’t

crying I was so afraid I couldn’t

crying I was so afraid I couldn’t breathe I blacked out and I don’t know

breathe I blacked out and I don’t know

breathe I blacked out and I don’t know how but my sister managed to hit the guy

how but my sister managed to hit the guy

how but my sister managed to hit the guy and just drive directly full speed away

and just drive directly full speed away

and just drive directly full speed away from them but the story didn’t end here

from them but the story didn’t end here

from them but the story didn’t end here when she drove they shot at us and

when she drove they shot at us and

when she drove they shot at us and bullets were going through the car

bullets were going through the car

bullets were going through the car physically none of us got injured but

physically none of us got injured but

physically none of us got injured but the fact that after they shot us and we

the fact that after they shot us and we

the fact that after they shot us and we continued full speed driving away from

continued full speed driving away from

continued full speed driving away from them they drove after us they didn’t

them they drove after us they didn’t

them they drove after us they didn’t stop till we reached a military

stop till we reached a military

stop till we reached a military checkpoint then obviously they had to

checkpoint then obviously they had to

checkpoint then obviously they had to leave or they would have been get caught

at that point I was fed up I said I will

at that point I was fed up I said I will no longer be victimized I refused that

no longer be victimized I refused that

no longer be victimized I refused that this is my life I refused that people

this is my life I refused that people

this is my life I refused that people get to decide what happens to be I want

get to decide what happens to be I want

get to decide what happens to be I want to be in control of what happens to me I

to be in control of what happens to me I

to be in control of what happens to me I want to choose it

want to choose it

want to choose it I want to choose when where with whom

I want to choose when where with whom

I want to choose when where with whom and what is the thing that happens to me

and what is the thing that happens to me

and what is the thing that happens to me I wanted to choose they had their

I wanted to choose they had their

I wanted to choose they had their weapons I needed mine and at the age of

weapons I needed mine and at the age of

weapons I needed mine and at the age of 18 what could I have had and that’s why

18 what could I have had and that’s why

18 what could I have had and that’s why I really focused on my education that’s

I really focused on my education that’s

I really focused on my education that’s what it means to me it is my weapon that

what it means to me it is my weapon that

what it means to me it is my weapon that they cannot take away from me they took

they cannot take away from me they took

they cannot take away from me they took away my childhood they took away my

away my childhood they took away my

away my childhood they took away my innocence they took away my knowledge my

innocence they took away my knowledge my

innocence they took away my knowledge my understandings of things my experience

understandings of things my experience

understandings of things my experience as a childhood as a teenager they took

as a childhood as a teenager they took

as a childhood as a teenager they took everything there

everything there

everything there gonna take anymore because now I have my

gonna take anymore because now I have my

gonna take anymore because now I have my weapon it is a power it is a great

weapon it is a power it is a great

weapon it is a power it is a great strength that you can have inside you

strength that you can have inside you

strength that you can have inside you and really no one can ever disarm you of

and really no one can ever disarm you of

and really no one can ever disarm you of I don’t know what education means to you

I don’t know what education means to you

I don’t know what education means to you I don’t know how you overcome challenges

I don’t know how you overcome challenges

I don’t know how you overcome challenges in your life

in your life

in your life I really don’t but for me it was my tool

I really don’t but for me it was my tool

I really don’t but for me it was my tool it was my power my strength that I am in

it was my power my strength that I am in

it was my power my strength that I am in control of and my mom you know her eyes

control of and my mom you know her eyes

control of and my mom you know her eyes would seriously light up whenever she

would seriously light up whenever she

would seriously light up whenever she hears about someone may have made it in

hears about someone may have made it in

hears about someone may have made it in this world because of education she made

this world because of education she made

this world because of education she made sure that my five sisters my two

sure that my five sisters my two

sure that my five sisters my two brothers and I all went to school to

brothers and I all went to school to

brothers and I all went to school to universities to get that strength in us

universities to get that strength in us

universities to get that strength in us even my dad he used as a kid as a

even my dad he used as a kid as a

even my dad he used as a kid as a teenager he used to walk miles and miles

teenager he used to walk miles and miles

teenager he used to walk miles and miles just to get to his school who does that

just to get to his school who does that

just to get to his school who does that for two hours a day just walk to get to

for two hours a day just walk to get to

for two hours a day just walk to get to school you see for people like my dad my

school you see for people like my dad my

school you see for people like my dad my mom myself

mom myself

mom myself we need this it’s not what the system

we need this it’s not what the system

we need this it’s not what the system makes us do it’s not what what you just

makes us do it’s not what what you just

makes us do it’s not what what you just go with it because everyone else goes to

go with it because everyone else goes to

go with it because everyone else goes to school and that’s made by the system no

school and that’s made by the system no

school and that’s made by the system no it is our choice and we need it because

it is our choice and we need it because

it is our choice and we need it because we need a force inside us we need

we need a force inside us we need

we need a force inside us we need something to help us overcome the

something to help us overcome the

something to help us overcome the challenges they disarm us of so many

challenges they disarm us of so many

challenges they disarm us of so many things we need a weapon that we can hold

things we need a weapon that we can hold

things we need a weapon that we can hold we want to be a moving power we don’t

we want to be a moving power we don’t

we want to be a moving power we don’t want to be victimized anymore I don’t

want to be victimized anymore I don’t

want to be victimized anymore I don’t know guys I would take seriously I would

know guys I would take seriously I would

know guys I would take seriously I would take hundreds of exams every day for the

take hundreds of exams every day for the

take hundreds of exams every day for the single for the rest of my life and I

single for the rest of my life and I

single for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t even be bothered about it I

wouldn’t even be bothered about it I

wouldn’t even be bothered about it I can’t I can’t change what happened to me

can’t I can’t change what happened to me

can’t I can’t change what happened to me and nor will I ever forget it

and nor will I ever forget it

and nor will I ever forget it but I do believe in what Nelson Mandela

but I do believe in what Nelson Mandela

but I do believe in what Nelson Mandela said and

said and

said and education it is your weapon it is the

education it is your weapon it is the

education it is your weapon it is the most empowering weapon that we can use

most empowering weapon that we can use

most empowering weapon that we can use to change the world but I don’t know

to change the world but I don’t know

to change the world but I don’t know really about changing the world but I do

really about changing the world but I do

really about changing the world but I do know that to me that my education is my

know that to me that my education is my

know that to me that my education is my power my weapon which no one gets to

power my weapon which no one gets to

power my weapon which no one gets to disarm me of nor take away from me in

disarm me of nor take away from me in

disarm me of nor take away from me in the end

the end

the end education is a power it is strength

education is a power it is strength

education is a power it is strength which you control

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

”

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