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What If We’ve Been Told Different? | Adinna Arbianda Kadarachman & Kyla Christie | TEDxBinusSchool


my dad used to wake me up at 6 a.m.

my dad used to wake me up at 6 a.m. every day on the dot but it didn’t

every day on the dot but it didn’t

every day on the dot but it didn’t matter anyways I was still gonna be late

matter anyways I was still gonna be late

matter anyways I was still gonna be late I’m still doing my brows I mean it has

I’m still doing my brows I mean it has

I’m still doing my brows I mean it has to be fleek for a reason right oh don’t

to be fleek for a reason right oh don’t

to be fleek for a reason right oh don’t forget you got a son snapchat streaks to

forget you got a son snapchat streaks to

forget you got a son snapchat streaks to our friends you open it okie which

our friends you open it okie which

our friends you open it okie which filter should we use does that make me

filter should we use does that make me

filter should we use does that make me look fat that makes me look fat oh hey

look fat that makes me look fat oh hey

look fat that makes me look fat oh hey flower crown to make us look slimmer he

flower crown to make us look slimmer he

flower crown to make us look slimmer he got it

got it

got it I saw something yummy it’s coming from

I saw something yummy it’s coming from

I saw something yummy it’s coming from the kitchen

the kitchen

the kitchen my mom made fried rice my mom made

my mom made fried rice my mom made

my mom made fried rice my mom made french toast and then I remember how

french toast and then I remember how

french toast and then I remember how disgusting my stomach looks sorry mom

disgusting my stomach looks sorry mom

disgusting my stomach looks sorry mom can eat I’m late I sit in the car and I

can eat I’m late I sit in the car and I

can eat I’m late I sit in the car and I look at the sky I’m reminded of

look at the sky I’m reminded of

look at the sky I’m reminded of something people used to tell me don’t

something people used to tell me don’t

something people used to tell me don’t look at the Sun it might blind you but

look at the Sun it might blind you but

look at the Sun it might blind you but we were never told to stop looking at

we were never told to stop looking at

we were never told to stop looking at the glassy burning pages of magazines

the glassy burning pages of magazines

the glassy burning pages of magazines once with robots on the cover and these

once with robots on the cover and these

once with robots on the cover and these robots only vaguely resembled myself and

robots only vaguely resembled myself and

robots only vaguely resembled myself and these robots stood high much higher than

these robots stood high much higher than

these robots stood high much higher than the Sun I was always told to avoid the

the Sun I was always told to avoid the

the Sun I was always told to avoid the Sun and outdoor sports like maybe soccer

Sun and outdoor sports like maybe soccer

Sun and outdoor sports like maybe soccer cuz sometimes they’d say oh honey look

cuz sometimes they’d say oh honey look

cuz sometimes they’d say oh honey look at your skin it’s getting so dark now

at your skin it’s getting so dark now

at your skin it’s getting so dark now and those freckles are starting to

and those freckles are starting to

and those freckles are starting to appear on your face but it’s not like

appear on your face but it’s not like

appear on your face but it’s not like some whitening cream can’t fix that

some whitening cream can’t fix that

some whitening cream can’t fix that right or maybe they’ll point out your

right or maybe they’ll point out your

right or maybe they’ll point out your thighs and your cows they’re so big and

thighs and your cows they’re so big and

thighs and your cows they’re so big and muscular I mean I guess soccer is just

muscular I mean I guess soccer is just

muscular I mean I guess soccer is just way too masculine for me but we were

way too masculine for me but we were

way too masculine for me but we were never told to avoid picking at the

never told to avoid picking at the

never told to avoid picking at the imperfections that littered our bodies

imperfections that littered our bodies

imperfections that littered our bodies this

this

this this is what I would tell my daughter I

this is what I would tell my daughter I

this is what I would tell my daughter I would tell my daughter that she can play

would tell my daughter that she can play

would tell my daughter that she can play any sports she wants that getting muddy

any sports she wants that getting muddy

any sports she wants that getting muddy does not make her less of a woman than

does not make her less of a woman than

does not make her less of a woman than she already is and it’s not about being

she already is and it’s not about being

she already is and it’s not about being burnt by the Sun it’s being kissed by it

burnt by the Sun it’s being kissed by it

burnt by the Sun it’s being kissed by it and it’s about being strong and healthy

and it’s about being strong and healthy

and it’s about being strong and healthy and I hope she never feels that she

and I hope she never feels that she

and I hope she never feels that she needs to hide her thighs her cow was her

needs to hide her thighs her cow was her

needs to hide her thighs her cow was her arms and her chest just because people

arms and her chest just because people

arms and her chest just because people don’t like the way it stretches fabric

don’t like the way it stretches fabric

don’t like the way it stretches fabric if I had a daughter I would tell her

if I had a daughter I would tell her

if I had a daughter I would tell her that she can look in the mirror and see

that she can look in the mirror and see

that she can look in the mirror and see whoever she wants to see whether it is a

whoever she wants to see whether it is a

whoever she wants to see whether it is a princess or the President or a dentist

princess or the President or a dentist

princess or the President or a dentist she can be who she wants to be she

she can be who she wants to be she

she can be who she wants to be she should not limit herself to a 2d

should not limit herself to a 2d

should not limit herself to a 2d blueprint of who she is because when she

blueprint of who she is because when she

blueprint of who she is because when she does all we’ll be able to see is a flat

does all we’ll be able to see is a flat

does all we’ll be able to see is a flat plain when we cannot stand on or float

plain when we cannot stand on or float

plain when we cannot stand on or float above and all we’ll be able to see his

above and all we’ll be able to see his

above and all we’ll be able to see his curves and bumps me from hands on a

curves and bumps me from hands on a

curves and bumps me from hands on a computer there is dirt on her skin that

computer there is dirt on her skin that

computer there is dirt on her skin that we cannot brush off and the moment she

we cannot brush off and the moment she

we cannot brush off and the moment she finds out there is no tool in the world

finds out there is no tool in the world

finds out there is no tool in the world that can cover up her flaws she’ll come

that can cover up her flaws she’ll come

that can cover up her flaws she’ll come to me crying and I will say that’s not

to me crying and I will say that’s not

to me crying and I will say that’s not the problem

the problem

the problem sit still they say as they pulled my

sit still they say as they pulled my

sit still they say as they pulled my hair and pounded paint on my face

hair and pounded paint on my face

hair and pounded paint on my face sit still just like a mannequin so that

sit still just like a mannequin so that

sit still just like a mannequin so that any type of clothes can be put on me so

any type of clothes can be put on me so

any type of clothes can be put on me so when they ask you why you did it

when they ask you why you did it

when they ask you why you did it you can tell them that I provoked you

you can tell them that I provoked you

you can tell them that I provoked you that I was asking for it

that I was asking for it

that I was asking for it oh but would you prefer more lifeless

oh but would you prefer more lifeless

oh but would you prefer more lifeless things that were tailored for pleasure

things that were tailored for pleasure

things that were tailored for pleasure and play so I guess when I’m pinned down

and play so I guess when I’m pinned down

and play so I guess when I’m pinned down still and lifeless I’ll just be as good

still and lifeless I’ll just be as good

still and lifeless I’ll just be as good there is a disease spreading and it

there is a disease spreading and it

there is a disease spreading and it cannot be stopped

cannot be stopped

cannot be stopped it is deadlier than the Black Death and

it is deadlier than the Black Death and

it is deadlier than the Black Death and faster than the flu it is the disease

faster than the flu it is the disease

faster than the flu it is the disease that seeps into our minds and make us do

that seeps into our minds and make us do

that seeps into our minds and make us do weird things to our bodies poking and

weird things to our bodies poking and

weird things to our bodies poking and prodding like we are

prodding like we are

prodding like we are to ourselves trying to make a version of

to ourselves trying to make a version of

to ourselves trying to make a version of ourselves that is remotely presentable

ourselves that is remotely presentable

ourselves that is remotely presentable and as she comes home to me and I see

and as she comes home to me and I see

and as she comes home to me and I see her muddy cleats and those tears on her

her muddy cleats and those tears on her

her muddy cleats and those tears on her Jersey and I see the bruises on her legs

Jersey and I see the bruises on her legs

Jersey and I see the bruises on her legs I’ll tell her that go take a shower I’ll

I’ll tell her that go take a shower I’ll

I’ll tell her that go take a shower I’ll sue back the tears on your clothes and

sue back the tears on your clothes and

sue back the tears on your clothes and I’ll give you the bandages that you need

I’ll give you the bandages that you need

I’ll give you the bandages that you need but she then gives me an apologetic

but she then gives me an apologetic

but she then gives me an apologetic smile and I say honey you don’t have to

smile and I say honey you don’t have to

smile and I say honey you don’t have to be sorry because we need to understand

be sorry because we need to understand

be sorry because we need to understand that those type of bruises are the only

that those type of bruises are the only

that those type of bruises are the only kinds acceptable to appear on her skin

kinds acceptable to appear on her skin

kinds acceptable to appear on her skin not from the actions of so-called love

not from the actions of so-called love

not from the actions of so-called love with no consents because no means no and

with no consents because no means no and

with no consents because no means no and one day we will all wear a body suit it

one day we will all wear a body suit it

one day we will all wear a body suit it will be made out of newspaper clippings

will be made out of newspaper clippings

will be made out of newspaper clippings about how to lose 40 kg in a week or any

about how to lose 40 kg in a week or any

about how to lose 40 kg in a week or any padding’s from the new Burger Kings ad

padding’s from the new Burger Kings ad

padding’s from the new Burger Kings ad for your 7 inch sub leggings that have

for your 7 inch sub leggings that have

for your 7 inch sub leggings that have written on them the law that menstrual

written on them the law that menstrual

written on them the law that menstrual products are still considered luxury

products are still considered luxury

products are still considered luxury items and shoes that make me the

items and shoes that make me the

items and shoes that make me the acceptable height to dance with boys and

acceptable height to dance with boys and

acceptable height to dance with boys and it is hard it is hard to be surrounded

it is hard it is hard to be surrounded

it is hard it is hard to be surrounded by such suffocating costume one we have

by such suffocating costume one we have

by such suffocating costume one we have no control over and one day when she is

no control over and one day when she is

no control over and one day when she is finally my age the world would have made

finally my age the world would have made

finally my age the world would have made documentaries about how stupid we all

documentaries about how stupid we all

documentaries about how stupid we all were she would have to see a girl

were she would have to see a girl

were she would have to see a girl starving herself looking the exact

starving herself looking the exact

starving herself looking the exact opposite of human and asked me this

opposite of human and asked me this

opposite of human and asked me this existed and she would look at a woman in

existed and she would look at a woman in

existed and she would look at a woman in court being told that whoops her top was

court being told that whoops her top was

court being told that whoops her top was way too low so he will not go to prison

way too low so he will not go to prison

way too low so he will not go to prison and she will see creams that get rid of

and she will see creams that get rid of

and she will see creams that get rid of stretch marks and

stretch marks and

stretch marks and ask me how do you use this why would you

ask me how do you use this why would you

ask me how do you use this why would you use this what is this and me I’ll laugh

use this what is this and me I’ll laugh

use this what is this and me I’ll laugh in response because how do you explain

in response because how do you explain

in response because how do you explain mass destruction and I hope and she’s my

mass destruction and I hope and she’s my

mass destruction and I hope and she’s my age

age

age she’ll strive for quality education and

she’ll strive for quality education and

she’ll strive for quality education and gets hired knowing that she’ll earn the

gets hired knowing that she’ll earn the

gets hired knowing that she’ll earn the same amount of money as her male

same amount of money as her male

same amount of money as her male co-workers will without her boss

co-workers will without her boss

co-workers will without her boss sexualizing her in any way or are even

sexualizing her in any way or are even

sexualizing her in any way or are even better become the bus without glares and

better become the bus without glares and

better become the bus without glares and skepticism from other people and her

skepticism from other people and her

skepticism from other people and her employees questioning whether she is fit

employees questioning whether she is fit

employees questioning whether she is fit for such a position in the hierarchy

for such a position in the hierarchy

for such a position in the hierarchy because for those women who start off as

because for those women who start off as

because for those women who start off as ambitious as men are experiencing that

ambitious as men are experiencing that

ambitious as men are experiencing that their efforts are eroding as time goes

their efforts are eroding as time goes

their efforts are eroding as time goes on and I hope one day when she grows to

on and I hope one day when she grows to

on and I hope one day when she grows to be so beautiful she’ll understand that

be so beautiful she’ll understand that

be so beautiful she’ll understand that marriage is not an act of submission to

marriage is not an act of submission to

marriage is not an act of submission to a husband and she does have the right to

a husband and she does have the right to

a husband and she does have the right to aspire to her goals as she’s raising a

aspire to her goals as she’s raising a

aspire to her goals as she’s raising a family of her own what if we were told

family of her own what if we were told

family of her own what if we were told what we will tell her would it make a

what we will tell her would it make a

what we will tell her would it make a difference would it have changed me

difference would it have changed me

difference would it have changed me would it force them to transform it does

would it force them to transform it does

would it force them to transform it does us no good to dwell on the what-ifs only

us no good to dwell on the what-ifs only

us no good to dwell on the what-ifs only on what to do yet as we are speaking our

on what to do yet as we are speaking our

on what to do yet as we are speaking our rage and singing our song and in writing

rage and singing our song and in writing

rage and singing our song and in writing our poems we can’t help but wonder what

our poems we can’t help but wonder what

our poems we can’t help but wonder what if we even installed different

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

you

you [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

”

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