it was a rather typical Monday afternoon sometime last year that I spoke to a
sometime last year that I spoke to a
sometime last year that I spoke to a young girl about her university
young girl about her university
young girl about her university experience and as the words poured out
experience and as the words poured out
experience and as the words poured out of her mouth I felt the strangest
of her mouth I felt the strangest
of her mouth I felt the strangest feeling of familiarity it was like in
feeling of familiarity it was like in
feeling of familiarity it was like in that moment I had left my nine-to-five
that moment I had left my nine-to-five
that moment I had left my nine-to-five job here in Aberdeen and went back about
job here in Aberdeen and went back about
job here in Aberdeen and went back about five years to the London University
five years to the London University
five years to the London University library where so often end up and in
library where so often end up and in
library where so often end up and in that moment I was on the phone to myself
that moment I was on the phone to myself
that moment I was on the phone to myself the words the thoughts just the feelings
the words the thoughts just the feelings
the words the thoughts just the feelings of this young girl so married what I
of this young girl so married what I
of this young girl so married what I have just gone through a few years ago
have just gone through a few years ago
have just gone through a few years ago and that telephone conversation that day
and that telephone conversation that day
and that telephone conversation that day and ultimately the relationship that was
and ultimately the relationship that was
and ultimately the relationship that was birthed from that is the inspiration for
birthed from that is the inspiration for
birthed from that is the inspiration for my talk today advice to the girl in the
my talk today advice to the girl in the
my talk today advice to the girl in the yearbook advice is quite a serious word
yearbook advice is quite a serious word
yearbook advice is quite a serious word that much rather say tips or pointers
that much rather say tips or pointers
that much rather say tips or pointers and the girl in the year because who I
and the girl in the year because who I
and the girl in the year because who I used to be my 17-year old self
used to be my 17-year old self
used to be my 17-year old self having completed high school and the
having completed high school and the
having completed high school and the incredibly grueling process that is the
incredibly grueling process that is the
incredibly grueling process that is the International Baccalaureate I have my
International Baccalaureate I have my
International Baccalaureate I have my whole life ahead of me
whole life ahead of me
whole life ahead of me and as you can see my parting words in
and as you can see my parting words in
and as you can see my parting words in is a 2009 yearbook was by Stephen Covey
is a 2009 yearbook was by Stephen Covey
is a 2009 yearbook was by Stephen Covey the best-selling author of 7 habits of
the best-selling author of 7 habits of
the best-selling author of 7 habits of highly effective people and it says to
highly effective people and it says to
highly effective people and it says to live to love to learn and to leave a
live to love to learn and to leave a
live to love to learn and to leave a legacy and according to Stephen Covey’s
legacy and according to Stephen Covey’s
legacy and according to Stephen Covey’s these are fundamentals for human
these are fundamentals for human
these are fundamentals for human fulfillment but what I want to share
fulfillment but what I want to share
fulfillment but what I want to share with you today is people that might be
with you today is people that might be
with you today is people that might be at the same stage in life as that girl
at the same stage in life as that girl
at the same stage in life as that girl in the yearbook are my three tips for
in the yearbook are my three tips for
in the yearbook are my three tips for leaving a legacy or creating a lasting
leaving a legacy or creating a lasting
leaving a legacy or creating a lasting impact in the lives of those around you
impact in the lives of those around you
impact in the lives of those around you and the first of these three would be to
and the first of these three would be to
and the first of these three would be to be yourself I don’t know why but I
be yourself I don’t know why but I
be yourself I don’t know why but I remember it so clearly the day that I
remember it so clearly the day that I
remember it so clearly the day that I was advised not to be myself at the age
was advised not to be myself at the age
was advised not to be myself at the age of 11 I along with the rest of my
of 11 I along with the rest of my
of 11 I along with the rest of my family left our home country and moved
family left our home country and moved
family left our home country and moved to Scotland and at that delicate age of
to Scotland and at that delicate age of
to Scotland and at that delicate age of 11 I wasn’t quite young enough to just
11 I wasn’t quite young enough to just
11 I wasn’t quite young enough to just take everything in and adapt but I
take everything in and adapt but I
take everything in and adapt but I wasn’t old enough to understand the
wasn’t old enough to understand the
wasn’t old enough to understand the differences in culture so on this day I
differences in culture so on this day I
differences in culture so on this day I was walking in between classes talking
was walking in between classes talking
was walking in between classes talking with a friend of mine in an accent that
with a friend of mine in an accent that
with a friend of mine in an accent that must have sounded a little bit more like
must have sounded a little bit more like
must have sounded a little bit more like this and she stops me mid-sentence and
this and she stops me mid-sentence and
this and she stops me mid-sentence and she leans in and bless her so she
she leans in and bless her so she
she leans in and bless her so she thought she was about to give me the
thought she was about to give me the
thought she was about to give me the best advice of my life
best advice of my life
best advice of my life she says ‘add AZ you’re gonna have to
she says ‘add AZ you’re gonna have to
she says ‘add AZ you’re gonna have to stop talking like that and then she goes
stop talking like that and then she goes
stop talking like that and then she goes on to give me a quick rundown of how I
on to give me a quick rundown of how I
on to give me a quick rundown of how I should increase my pitch at the end of
should increase my pitch at the end of
should increase my pitch at the end of every sentence to make sure I sounded
every sentence to make sure I sounded
every sentence to make sure I sounded like everybody else and I took her
like everybody else and I took her
like everybody else and I took her advice at least I tried to I tried as
advice at least I tried to I tried as
advice at least I tried to I tried as hard as possible to change the way that
hard as possible to change the way that
hard as possible to change the way that I was so accustomed to talking but it
I was so accustomed to talking but it
I was so accustomed to talking but it didn’t just stop there I did everything
didn’t just stop there I did everything
didn’t just stop there I did everything in my power to blend into that seventh
in my power to blend into that seventh
in my power to blend into that seventh grade class instead of celebrating what
grade class instead of celebrating what
grade class instead of celebrating what makes me different fast forward about 10
makes me different fast forward about 10
makes me different fast forward about 10 years or so and Here I am standing in
years or so and Here I am standing in
years or so and Here I am standing in front of you as a firm believer in the
front of you as a firm believer in the
front of you as a firm believer in the fact that every individual is created
fact that every individual is created
fact that every individual is created unique and their attributes that only
unique and their attributes that only
unique and their attributes that only you can bring to the table and the only
you can bring to the table and the only
you can bring to the table and the only way you’re going to figure out what
way you’re going to figure out what
way you’re going to figure out what these are is by developing your quirks
these are is by developing your quirks
these are is by developing your quirks and things that make you stand out from
and things that make you stand out from
and things that make you stand out from the crowd learn to use these to your
the crowd learn to use these to your
the crowd learn to use these to your advantage and so to this girl in the
advantage and so to this girl in the
advantage and so to this girl in the yearbook I would say don’t be afraid to
yearbook I would say don’t be afraid to
yearbook I would say don’t be afraid to be who you are be absolutely
be who you are be absolutely
be who you are be absolutely unapologetic about it now like this girl
unapologetic about it now like this girl
unapologetic about it now like this girl and many others her age it was time to
and many others her age it was time to
and many others her age it was time to take the next step in life and for most
take the next step in life and for most
take the next step in life and for most of us that meant university applications
of us that meant university applications
of us that meant university applications now we all had our dream schools where
now we all had our dream schools where
now we all had our dream schools where we wanted to end up but it didn’t always
we wanted to end up but it didn’t always
we wanted to end up but it didn’t always work out like
work out like
work out like and sometimes receiving that rejected
and sometimes receiving that rejected
and sometimes receiving that rejected university application it felt like the
university application it felt like the
university application it felt like the whole world was coming to an end but was
whole world was coming to an end but was
whole world was coming to an end but was it really my next tip to the girl in the
it really my next tip to the girl in the
it really my next tip to the girl in the yearbook would be to love failure my
yearbook would be to love failure my
yearbook would be to love failure my first and major encounter with failure
first and major encounter with failure
first and major encounter with failure was through rejected university
was through rejected university
was through rejected university applications and since then until now
applications and since then until now
applications and since then until now although I can tell you a number of
although I can tell you a number of
although I can tell you a number of successes in my life I’ve also had a lot
successes in my life I’ve also had a lot
successes in my life I’ve also had a lot of failures failed university
of failures failed university
of failures failed university applications field job applications
applications field job applications
applications field job applications field interviews failed friendships
field interviews failed friendships
field interviews failed friendships field relationships and through all of
field relationships and through all of
field relationships and through all of this I’ve learned that we actually learn
this I’ve learned that we actually learn
this I’ve learned that we actually learn and grow more from our failures than we
and grow more from our failures than we
and grow more from our failures than we do for our successes I’ve also noticed
do for our successes I’ve also noticed
do for our successes I’ve also noticed that even the mere sound of the word
that even the mere sound of the word
that even the mere sound of the word failure invokes a sense of dread in most
failure invokes a sense of dread in most
failure invokes a sense of dread in most people this is because we live in a
people this is because we live in a
people this is because we live in a world that is diametrically adverse and
world that is diametrically adverse and
world that is diametrically adverse and essentially outlaws and demonizes
essentially outlaws and demonizes
essentially outlaws and demonizes failing and these can be seen from the
failing and these can be seen from the
failing and these can be seen from the current medium that connects us all
current medium that connects us all
current medium that connects us all social media now show of hands who’s on
social media now show of hands who’s on
social media now show of hands who’s on Facebook Instagram Twitter Tumblr
Facebook Instagram Twitter Tumblr
Facebook Instagram Twitter Tumblr exactly that’s the most of us here and
exactly that’s the most of us here and
exactly that’s the most of us here and it’s not just the younger generation
it’s not just the younger generation
it’s not just the younger generation even the older generation are now
even the older generation are now
even the older generation are now connected by our social media for
connected by our social media for
connected by our social media for example my mother got her first
example my mother got her first
example my mother got her first Instagram account
Instagram account
Instagram account just a few months ago now she’s the
just a few months ago now she’s the
just a few months ago now she’s the first to like and comment on all my
first to like and comment on all my
first to like and comment on all my pictures but as great as these pictures
pictures but as great as these pictures
pictures but as great as these pictures are as great as these mediums are all
are as great as these mediums are all
are as great as these mediums are all these pictures that are perfectly edited
these pictures that are perfectly edited
these pictures that are perfectly edited and posted for the world to see they
and posted for the world to see they
and posted for the world to see they create a pressure within now I’m only
create a pressure within now I’m only
create a pressure within now I’m only allowed to share the best parts of my
allowed to share the best parts of my
allowed to share the best parts of my life or even worse they make you feel
life or even worse they make you feel
life or even worse they make you feel like the best the best naps of somebody
like the best the best naps of somebody
like the best the best naps of somebody else’s life that that represents the
else’s life that that represents the
else’s life that that represents the whole life so you could imagine my
whole life so you could imagine my
whole life so you could imagine my surprise when I saw something completely
surprise when I saw something completely
surprise when I saw something completely antithetical to the status quo last year
antithetical to the status quo last year
antithetical to the status quo last year Johanna’s house shiver a professor
Johanna’s house shiver a professor
Johanna’s house shiver a professor of psychology of public affairs at the
of psychology of public affairs at the
of psychology of public affairs at the Princeton University published a CV of
Princeton University published a CV of
Princeton University published a CV of failures and to start it off he says
failures and to start it off he says
failures and to start it off he says this most of what I try fails but these
this most of what I try fails but these
this most of what I try fails but these failures are often invisible while my
failures are often invisible while my
failures are often invisible while my successes are visible I have noticed
successes are visible I have noticed
successes are visible I have noticed that this sometimes gives people the
that this sometimes gives people the
that this sometimes gives people the impression that most things work out for
impression that most things work out for
impression that most things work out for me and as a result they’re more likely
me and as a result they’re more likely
me and as a result they’re more likely to attribute their own failures to
to attribute their own failures to
to attribute their own failures to themselves this CV of failures is an
themselves this CV of failures is an
themselves this CV of failures is an attempt to balance the record and
attempt to balance the record and
attempt to balance the record and provide some perspective
provide some perspective
provide some perspective professor how Schaffer then goes on to
professor how Schaffer then goes on to
professor how Schaffer then goes on to detail degree programs that he did not
detail degree programs that he did not
detail degree programs that he did not get into and academic positions and
get into and academic positions and
get into and academic positions and fellowships that he did not get awards
fellowships that he did not get awards
fellowships that he did not get awards and scholarships paper rejections from
and scholarships paper rejections from
and scholarships paper rejections from academic journals and this publication
academic journals and this publication
academic journals and this publication you could say broke the internet because
you could say broke the internet because
you could say broke the internet because it received so much attention in such a
it received so much attention in such a
it received so much attention in such a short amount of time and this is because
short amount of time and this is because
short amount of time and this is because professor Harper was able to reveal a
professor Harper was able to reveal a
professor Harper was able to reveal a part of himself that most people would
part of himself that most people would
part of himself that most people would probably hide he was able to reveal the
probably hide he was able to reveal the
probably hide he was able to reveal the vulnerable failures in life that most
vulnerable failures in life that most
vulnerable failures in life that most people would probably hide so to the
people would probably hide so to the
people would probably hide so to the girl in the yearbook I would say this
girl in the yearbook I would say this
girl in the yearbook I would say this love failures embrace them and take time
love failures embrace them and take time
love failures embrace them and take time to learn from them throughout my time in
to learn from them throughout my time in
to learn from them throughout my time in university I spent the first three years
university I spent the first three years
university I spent the first three years immersing knowledge on materials so
immersing knowledge on materials so
immersing knowledge on materials so polymers and metals and ceramics and how
polymers and metals and ceramics and how
polymers and metals and ceramics and how all these materials can be used to be
all these materials can be used to be
all these materials can be used to be made into components for the medical
made into components for the medical
made into components for the medical application because I did an
application because I did an
application because I did an undergraduate degree in medical material
undergraduate degree in medical material
undergraduate degree in medical material science and after that I went on to
science and after that I went on to
science and after that I went on to spend another year immersing knowledge
spend another year immersing knowledge
spend another year immersing knowledge on the oil and gas industry its
on the oil and gas industry its
on the oil and gas industry its reservoirs its fluids its production
reservoirs its fluids its production
reservoirs its fluids its production mechanisms during my master’s degree in
mechanisms during my master’s degree in
mechanisms during my master’s degree in petroleum engineering and after those
petroleum engineering and after those
petroleum engineering and after those four years I realized that
four years I realized that
four years I realized that I spent a great deal of time learning
I spent a great deal of time learning
I spent a great deal of time learning about the outside world and taking that
about the outside world and taking that
about the outside world and taking that in but I haven’t spent a lot of time
in but I haven’t spent a lot of time
in but I haven’t spent a lot of time getting to know who I am as a person
getting to know who I am as a person
getting to know who I am as a person so my next tip to the girl in the
so my next tip to the girl in the
so my next tip to the girl in the yearbook would be to learn yourself
spend time getting to know who you are
spend time getting to know who you are as a person and why do you do the things
as a person and why do you do the things
as a person and why do you do the things you do the way you do them understand
you do the way you do them understand
you do the way you do them understand your strengths your weaknesses your
your strengths your weaknesses your
your strengths your weaknesses your passions your values and what motivates
passions your values and what motivates
passions your values and what motivates you learning and understanding myself is
you learning and understanding myself is
you learning and understanding myself is a journey I’m still on until this very
a journey I’m still on until this very
a journey I’m still on until this very moment but what I can share with you are
moment but what I can share with you are
moment but what I can share with you are some practical tips and practical things
some practical tips and practical things
some practical tips and practical things that you can do that have helped me in
that you can do that have helped me in
that you can do that have helped me in my journey to a self-awareness and the
my journey to a self-awareness and the
my journey to a self-awareness and the first of these would be to take a
first of these would be to take a
first of these would be to take a personality test I know this sounds
personality test I know this sounds
personality test I know this sounds quite obvious and maybe just too simple
quite obvious and maybe just too simple
quite obvious and maybe just too simple but personality tests do help a great
but personality tests do help a great
but personality tests do help a great deal and getting to know who you are as
deal and getting to know who you are as
deal and getting to know who you are as a person the test I found most
a person the test I found most
a person the test I found most beneficial and actually quite accurate
beneficial and actually quite accurate
beneficial and actually quite accurate is the myers-briggs Type Indicator
is the myers-briggs Type Indicator
is the myers-briggs Type Indicator it’s a questionnaire developed by a
it’s a questionnaire developed by a
it’s a questionnaire developed by a mother and daughter Katharine cook
mother and daughter Katharine cook
mother and daughter Katharine cook Briggs and Isabel Myers that indicate
Briggs and Isabel Myers that indicate
Briggs and Isabel Myers that indicate the psychological preferences in how
the psychological preferences in how
the psychological preferences in how people see the world and how they make
people see the world and how they make
people see the world and how they make decisions in case you’re wondering I’m
decisions in case you’re wondering I’m
decisions in case you’re wondering I’m an infj which means I am introverted as
an infj which means I am introverted as
an infj which means I am introverted as opposed to extraversion and I tend to
opposed to extraversion and I tend to
opposed to extraversion and I tend to use my intuition when I’m making
use my intuition when I’m making
use my intuition when I’m making decisions F for feelings so I value
decisions F for feelings so I value
decisions F for feelings so I value personal circumstances and I can be
personal circumstances and I can be
personal circumstances and I can be quite subjective and J judgement which
quite subjective and J judgement which
quite subjective and J judgement which means I value predictability and I plan
means I value predictability and I plan
means I value predictability and I plan things ahead secondly I would say keep a
things ahead secondly I would say keep a
things ahead secondly I would say keep a journal
journal
journal now I haven’t always been a fan of
now I haven’t always been a fan of
now I haven’t always been a fan of journaling in fact I used to ridicule
journaling in fact I used to ridicule
journaling in fact I used to ridicule the whole idea to me writing in a
the whole idea to me writing in a
the whole idea to me writing in a journal is what teenage girls did when
journal is what teenage girls did when
journal is what teenage girls did when they had a crush but over the past few
they had a crush but over the past few
they had a crush but over the past few years
years
years rationale has completely changed I’ve
rationale has completely changed I’ve
rationale has completely changed I’ve seen immense benefits from writing down
seen immense benefits from writing down
seen immense benefits from writing down a few words or a few phrases or a few
a few words or a few phrases or a few
a few words or a few phrases or a few paragraphs every single day it’s helped
paragraphs every single day it’s helped
paragraphs every single day it’s helped me realize dreams and goals that I
me realize dreams and goals that I
me realize dreams and goals that I didn’t think would be mine and it’s also
didn’t think would be mine and it’s also
didn’t think would be mine and it’s also pretty great going back about two to
pretty great going back about two to
pretty great going back about two to three years and reading your journal
three years and reading your journal
three years and reading your journal entries from that time and seeing how
entries from that time and seeing how
entries from that time and seeing how much you’ve grown and how much you’ve
much you’ve grown and how much you’ve
much you’ve grown and how much you’ve changed in that time so in the words of
changed in that time so in the words of
changed in that time so in the words of Jim Ron I would say if you’re serious
Jim Ron I would say if you’re serious
Jim Ron I would say if you’re serious about becoming wealthy powerful
about becoming wealthy powerful
about becoming wealthy powerful sophisticated influential cultured and a
sophisticated influential cultured and a
sophisticated influential cultured and a unique individual keeper journal don’t
unique individual keeper journal don’t
unique individual keeper journal don’t trust your memory if you have an idea
trust your memory if you have an idea
trust your memory if you have an idea write it down if you hear something
write it down if you hear something
write it down if you hear something valuable write it down and if you come
valuable write it down and if you come
valuable write it down and if you come across something important write it down
across something important write it down
across something important write it down and finally I would say just ask others
and finally I would say just ask others
and finally I would say just ask others ask look out for people that you trust
ask look out for people that you trust
ask look out for people that you trust and that you believe know know you well
and that you believe know know you well
and that you believe know know you well and ask them questions like what do you
and ask them questions like what do you
and ask them questions like what do you think are my greatest strengths and what
think are my greatest strengths and what
think are my greatest strengths and what do you see as my biggest flaw asking
do you see as my biggest flaw asking
do you see as my biggest flaw asking other people would reveal probably
other people would reveal probably
other people would reveal probably reveal a side to you that you may not
reveal a side to you that you may not
reveal a side to you that you may not have you know you may not have realized
have you know you may not have realized
have you know you may not have realized so in the past three years I’ve realized
so in the past three years I’ve realized
so in the past three years I’ve realized that the more I get to know myself the
that the more I get to know myself the
that the more I get to know myself the more I can assert what I want in life in
more I can assert what I want in life in
more I can assert what I want in life in my career and in relationships so to the
my career and in relationships so to the
my career and in relationships so to the girl in the yearbook I would say spend
girl in the yearbook I would say spend
girl in the yearbook I would say spend time getting to know yourself now going
time getting to know yourself now going
time getting to know yourself now going back to that typical Monday afternoon
back to that typical Monday afternoon
back to that typical Monday afternoon when I felt like I was on the phone to
when I felt like I was on the phone to
when I felt like I was on the phone to myself I was actually impacting the life
myself I was actually impacting the life
myself I was actually impacting the life of somebody else and that is something
of somebody else and that is something
of somebody else and that is something that everybody seated here today can
that everybody seated here today can
that everybody seated here today can achieve we all have people in our
achieve we all have people in our
achieve we all have people in our spheres of influence that need the
spheres of influence that need the
spheres of influence that need the experiences that we’ve been
experiences that we’ve been
experiences that we’ve been to guide them through difficult
to guide them through difficult
to guide them through difficult situations and the weights a way to
situations and the weights a way to
situations and the weights a way to achieve this a way to make sure that we
achieve this a way to make sure that we
achieve this a way to make sure that we impact the lives of those around us is
impact the lives of those around us is
impact the lives of those around us is to make sure that one we are true to
to make sure that one we are true to
to make sure that one we are true to ourselves – we love failure and embrace
ourselves – we love failure and embrace
ourselves – we love failure and embrace it and learn from it and three we’ll
it and learn from it and three we’ll
it and learn from it and three we’ll spend time and we spend energy in
spend time and we spend energy in
spend time and we spend energy in self-discovery thank you
self-discovery thank you
self-discovery thank you [Applause]
”
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