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Live Your Own Life | Shashi Bhushan Singh | TEDxEicherSchool


whose life are you living I wonder what

whose life are you living I wonder what you make of this question does it ring a

you make of this question does it ring a

you make of this question does it ring a bell somewhere or does it just feels

bell somewhere or does it just feels

bell somewhere or does it just feels like this is yet another question from

like this is yet another question from

like this is yet another question from one of those self-help books

when I started asking this question to

when I started asking this question to myself some time back my first reaction

myself some time back my first reaction

myself some time back my first reaction was what is stupid question of course I

was what is stupid question of course I

was what is stupid question of course I am living my own life I chose my career

am living my own life I chose my career

am living my own life I chose my career I chose my lifestyle I make my own

I chose my lifestyle I make my own

I chose my lifestyle I make my own decisions my choices I even have the

decisions my choices I even have the

decisions my choices I even have the freedom to choose the topping on my

freedom to choose the topping on my

freedom to choose the topping on my pizza so of course it’s my life that I’m

pizza so of course it’s my life that I’m

pizza so of course it’s my life that I’m living it took me 10 years of my life

living it took me 10 years of my life

living it took me 10 years of my life to realize that it wasn’t true today I

to realize that it wasn’t true today I

to realize that it wasn’t true today I wish to share with you how this one

wish to share with you how this one

wish to share with you how this one question changed my life and how it has

question changed my life and how it has

question changed my life and how it has the power to change yours right from

the power to change yours right from

the power to change yours right from childhood we are told stories stories

childhood we are told stories stories

childhood we are told stories stories about everything how to live your life

about everything how to live your life

about everything how to live your life what a success means what is the meaning

what a success means what is the meaning

what a success means what is the meaning of good human being and from this from

of good human being and from this from

of good human being and from this from these stories we create our belief

these stories we create our belief

these stories we create our belief system and that belief system eventually

system and that belief system eventually

system and that belief system eventually takes shape of our worldview and it is

takes shape of our worldview and it is

takes shape of our worldview and it is this worldview that actually you use

this worldview that actually you use

this worldview that actually you use whenever we have to make decision make

whenever we have to make decision make

whenever we have to make decision make choices and that’s how we live what if I

choices and that’s how we live what if I

choices and that’s how we live what if I was to tell you that the very foundation

was to tell you that the very foundation

was to tell you that the very foundation of a worldview those stories aren’t true

of a worldview those stories aren’t true

of a worldview those stories aren’t true well let’s say they are partially true

well let’s say they are partially true

well let’s say they are partially true Oh what is that our alternative storage

Oh what is that our alternative storage

Oh what is that our alternative storage which still exists in which we are yet

which still exists in which we are yet

which still exists in which we are yet to hear in the year 2000 I was told all

to hear in the year 2000 I was told all

to hear in the year 2000 I was told all the while this story that all the boys

the while this story that all the boys

the while this story that all the boys become engineers girls become doctors or

become engineers girls become doctors or

become engineers girls become doctors or housewife

housewife

housewife all the rich and intelligent work in the

all the rich and intelligent work in the

all the rich and intelligent work in the offices and the poor and the dumb they

offices and the poor and the dumb they

offices and the poor and the dumb they work in the fields that money is the

work in the fields that money is the

work in the fields that money is the only thing that you really need to own

only thing that you really need to own

only thing that you really need to own in life to get everything these were the

in life to get everything these were the

in life to get everything these were the stories that I was told so no wonder in

stories that I was told so no wonder in

stories that I was told so no wonder in the year 2000 all the inspired

the year 2000 all the inspired

the year 2000 all the inspired having lot of options I chose

having lot of options I chose

having lot of options I chose engineering it was the year 2000 IT was

engineering it was the year 2000 IT was

engineering it was the year 2000 IT was booming up so again there was no

booming up so again there was no

booming up so again there was no question about what extreme to take it

question about what extreme to take it

question about what extreme to take it had to be IT or IT yes that’s what I did

had to be IT or IT yes that’s what I did

had to be IT or IT yes that’s what I did after my engineering everybody was

after my engineering everybody was

after my engineering everybody was moving into an AC chamber working on

moving into an AC chamber working on

moving into an AC chamber working on laptops and computers and waiting for

laptops and computers and waiting for

laptops and computers and waiting for the weekends that’s what I did

the weekends that’s what I did

the weekends that’s what I did it didn’t stop there what do you do

it didn’t stop there what do you do

it didn’t stop there what do you do after B II after you engineering and

after B II after you engineering and

after B II after you engineering and couple of years of work X what do you do

couple of years of work X what do you do

couple of years of work X what do you do MBA and that was a story b-plus MBA

MBA and that was a story b-plus MBA

MBA and that was a story b-plus MBA that’s what is a good like about so I

that’s what is a good like about so I

that’s what is a good like about so I didn’t BA all this while I was thinking

didn’t BA all this while I was thinking

didn’t BA all this while I was thinking that I’m living my own life I had no

that I’m living my own life I had no

that I’m living my own life I had no clue that all that I was doing was under

clue that all that I was doing was under

clue that all that I was doing was under the influence of others I was thinking

the influence of others I was thinking

the influence of others I was thinking that I’m making conscious decisions

that I’m making conscious decisions

that I’m making conscious decisions because it appeared to me so I was

because it appeared to me so I was

because it appeared to me so I was making decisions right and I had no clue

making decisions right and I had no clue

making decisions right and I had no clue how deeply my life is actually in

how deeply my life is actually in

how deeply my life is actually in control of others how I am just a puppet

control of others how I am just a puppet

control of others how I am just a puppet in this whole system we do a lot of

in this whole system we do a lot of

in this whole system we do a lot of things in our life not because we really

things in our life not because we really

things in our life not because we really want to do it we do it because clicker

want to do it we do it because clicker

want to do it we do it because clicker your please mix because it’s the obvious

your please mix because it’s the obvious

your please mix because it’s the obvious next thing to do in life isn’t it we are

next thing to do in life isn’t it we are

next thing to do in life isn’t it we are told that you as soon as you’re born

told that you as soon as you’re born

told that you as soon as you’re born after five years you have to go to

after five years you have to go to

after five years you have to go to school when you go to college then you

school when you go to college then you

school when you go to college then you do a graduation then you get a job and

do a graduation then you get a job and

do a graduation then you get a job and even something as significant as

even something as significant as

even something as significant as marriage most of us do get into marriage

marriage most of us do get into marriage

marriage most of us do get into marriage not because we really consciously want

not because we really consciously want

not because we really consciously want to get into it just because I began my

to get into it just because I began my

to get into it just because I began my job agha so let’s get married if you ask

job agha so let’s get married if you ask

job agha so let’s get married if you ask people around you they might give your

people around you they might give your

people around you they might give your intelligent-looking answer but if you

intelligent-looking answer but if you

intelligent-looking answer but if you did make relook into them most of us

did make relook into them most of us

did make relook into them most of us give into marriage just because it’s

give into marriage just because it’s

give into marriage just because it’s obvious next thing to in life and that’s

obvious next thing to in life and that’s

obvious next thing to in life and that’s how I was living my whole life so slowly

how I was living my whole life so slowly

how I was living my whole life so slowly I began to understand next at least that

I began to understand next at least that

I began to understand next at least that my life is actually being controlled by

my life is actually being controlled by

my life is actually being controlled by others and more scary or the second part

others and more scary or the second part

others and more scary or the second part I don’t know it I was thinking where I

I don’t know it I was thinking where I

I don’t know it I was thinking where I was living my own

was living my own

was living my own life and who is this others who are what

life and who is this others who are what

life and who is this others who are what what do we mean by others others could

what do we mean by others others could

what do we mean by others others could be society

be society

be society it could be culture it could be your

it could be culture it could be your

it could be culture it could be your parents your teachers your own ideology

parents your teachers your own ideology

parents your teachers your own ideology your belief system your institutions

your belief system your institutions

your belief system your institutions that you belong to it could be anything

that you belong to it could be anything

that you belong to it could be anything that’s not part of your inner space and

that’s not part of your inner space and

that’s not part of your inner space and why don’t we realize it why is that it’s

why don’t we realize it why is that it’s

why don’t we realize it why is that it’s such a simple thing that my whole life

such a simple thing that my whole life

such a simple thing that my whole life is being controlled by the system and

is being controlled by the system and

is being controlled by the system and yet I don’t realize it why one because

yet I don’t realize it why one because

yet I don’t realize it why one because everybody around us is also just a

everybody around us is also just a

everybody around us is also just a puppet and two it’s easier if you have

puppet and two it’s easier if you have

puppet and two it’s easier if you have to find your inner voice it takes

to find your inner voice it takes

to find your inner voice it takes efforts and if you just want to do the

efforts and if you just want to do the

efforts and if you just want to do the same righteous thing you’re comfortable

same righteous thing you’re comfortable

same righteous thing you’re comfortable you’re easy you’re respected you’re

you’re easy you’re respected you’re

you’re easy you’re respected you’re supported in fact and the worst part is

supported in fact and the worst part is

supported in fact and the worst part is nobody’s talking about this inner space

nobody’s talking about this inner space

nobody’s talking about this inner space our education system is least bothered

our education system is least bothered

our education system is least bothered all the care about good education means

all the care about good education means

all the care about good education means building carriers and running industries

building carriers and running industries

building carriers and running industries our parents are really more concerned

our parents are really more concerned

our parents are really more concerned about making sure that we join the rat

about making sure that we join the rat

about making sure that we join the rat race and become successful rich famous

race and become successful rich famous

race and become successful rich famous but this whole inner space it’s quite

but this whole inner space it’s quite

but this whole inner space it’s quite neglected in the whole system when I

neglected in the whole system when I

neglected in the whole system when I realized these through things that my

realized these through things that my

realized these through things that my life is being controlled by others first

life is being controlled by others first

life is being controlled by others first obvious reaction was angst rage I was

obvious reaction was angst rage I was

obvious reaction was angst rage I was like my god I felt cheated I felt that

like my god I felt cheated I felt that

like my god I felt cheated I felt that as a whole system has conspired against

as a whole system has conspired against

as a whole system has conspired against me it took me some time to realize it

me it took me some time to realize it

me it took me some time to realize it wasn’t so there’s no one to blame and we

wasn’t so there’s no one to blame and we

wasn’t so there’s no one to blame and we should not be doing that because we all

should not be doing that because we all

should not be doing that because we all are nothing but victims of system that

are nothing but victims of system that

are nothing but victims of system that we all have created that’s how we

we all have created that’s how we

we all have created that’s how we actually live our life controlled by

actually live our life controlled by

actually live our life controlled by others

so this was my stake then of my

so this was my stake then of my confusion then I was very sure but I

confusion then I was very sure but I

confusion then I was very sure but I don’t want to be working in AC chambers

don’t want to be working in AC chambers

don’t want to be working in AC chambers I don’t want to be working 9:00 to 5:00

I don’t want to be working 9:00 to 5:00

I don’t want to be working 9:00 to 5:00 but then I have no idea what to do next

but then I have no idea what to do next

but then I have no idea what to do next the reason was that I was not in touch

the reason was that I was not in touch

the reason was that I was not in touch with myself I was so full of external

with myself I was so full of external

with myself I was so full of external influences but I had no clue what is my

influences but I had no clue what is my

influences but I had no clue what is my real calling so what do you do when

real calling so what do you do when

real calling so what do you do when you’re in that state of confusion I did

you’re in that state of confusion I did

you’re in that state of confusion I did everything I could I read books attended

everything I could I read books attended

everything I could I read books attended conferences seminars to counseling I

conferences seminars to counseling I

conferences seminars to counseling I traveled people’s a travel I met people

traveled people’s a travel I met people

traveled people’s a travel I met people I even watch TED Talks everything but

I even watch TED Talks everything but

I even watch TED Talks everything but nothing seemed to be helping a lot

nothing seemed to be helping a lot

nothing seemed to be helping a lot they also helping in some ways but I was

they also helping in some ways but I was

they also helping in some ways but I was not able to come out of this confusion

so what do we do frustrated I just

so what do we do frustrated I just decided that I’ll just cut myself off

decided that I’ll just cut myself off

decided that I’ll just cut myself off from everything and if I need to find

from everything and if I need to find

from everything and if I need to find what is inside me I need to get in touch

what is inside me I need to get in touch

what is inside me I need to get in touch with that inner space what lies within

with that inner space what lies within

with that inner space what lies within me how do I get in touch with it so when

me how do I get in touch with it so when

me how do I get in touch with it so when nothing world I just moved to a deserted

nothing world I just moved to a deserted

nothing world I just moved to a deserted farm one of the friends farm near Mysore

farm one of the friends farm near Mysore

farm one of the friends farm near Mysore and I just said that I’m gonna be in

and I just said that I’m gonna be in

and I just said that I’m gonna be in this farm for three months and not talk

this farm for three months and not talk

this farm for three months and not talk to anyone no books no music no writing

to anyone no books no music no writing

to anyone no books no music no writing no painting no cooking I had no idea

no painting no cooking I had no idea

no painting no cooking I had no idea what I was committing myself to three

what I was committing myself to three

what I was committing myself to three months were too much I wanted to run

months were too much I wanted to run

months were too much I wanted to run away from that farm in first week but it

away from that farm in first week but it

away from that farm in first week but it was not easy because I already told

was not easy because I already told

was not easy because I already told everybody that I am off for three months

everybody that I am off for three months

everybody that I am off for three months my facebook is status what out of the

my facebook is status what out of the

my facebook is status what out of the world for three months and my email

world for three months and my email

world for three months and my email autoresponder was like that so it didn’t

autoresponder was like that so it didn’t

autoresponder was like that so it didn’t feel nice and even have a skewness to

feel nice and even have a skewness to

feel nice and even have a skewness to know what comes next so I pushed myself

know what comes next so I pushed myself

know what comes next so I pushed myself to it and in that one month I don’t know

to it and in that one month I don’t know

to it and in that one month I don’t know what happened it was one of the most

what happened it was one of the most

what happened it was one of the most difficult times of my life but looking

difficult times of my life but looking

difficult times of my life but looking back it is the best gift that I could

back it is the best gift that I could

back it is the best gift that I could give to myself what happened was this I

just took a pause

just took a pause from all the external influences when I

from all the external influences when I

from all the external influences when I just stood still away from everybody

just stood still away from everybody

just stood still away from everybody that pause revealed the inner voice and

that pause revealed the inner voice and

that pause revealed the inner voice and it really really helped me in life now I

it really really helped me in life now I

it really really helped me in life now I want to just mention a word of caution

want to just mention a word of caution

want to just mention a word of caution here a lot of us really have a cold

here a lot of us really have a cold

here a lot of us really have a cold shoulder you know just don’t like these

shoulder you know just don’t like these

shoulder you know just don’t like these words inner voice

words inner voice

words inner voice pause or inner journey and we feel that

pause or inner journey and we feel that

pause or inner journey and we feel that it’s not for us primarily because it has

it’s not for us primarily because it has

it’s not for us primarily because it has a strong association with religion we

a strong association with religion we

a strong association with religion we hear these words in religious groups in

hear these words in religious groups in

hear these words in religious groups in spiritual groups unless you are into

spiritual groups unless you are into

spiritual groups unless you are into religion and spirituality you might be

religion and spirituality you might be

religion and spirituality you might be not really liking these words and what’s

not really liking these words and what’s

not really liking these words and what’s not for me you are talking something

not for me you are talking something

not for me you are talking something else but if I may submit to you taking a

else but if I may submit to you taking a

else but if I may submit to you taking a pass from our life you just be there get

pass from our life you just be there get

pass from our life you just be there get in touch with our inner space it has

in touch with our inner space it has

in touch with our inner space it has nothing to do with spirituality or

nothing to do with spirituality or

nothing to do with spirituality or religion it is just a simple exercise to

religion it is just a simple exercise to

religion it is just a simple exercise to really know who we are what we really

really know who we are what we really

really know who we are what we really want in life and it does help but that’s

want in life and it does help but that’s

want in life and it does help but that’s only half the story isn’t it

only half the story isn’t it

only half the story isn’t it so I realize that I was in control of

so I realize that I was in control of

so I realize that I was in control of the system I try to come out of it I

the system I try to come out of it I

the system I try to come out of it I also was able to get in touch with my

also was able to get in touch with my

also was able to get in touch with my inner voice fairly enough but the

inner voice fairly enough but the

inner voice fairly enough but the toughest part now was to act on that

toughest part now was to act on that

toughest part now was to act on that inner voice a lot of us here might

inner voice a lot of us here might

inner voice a lot of us here might already be in touch with your inner

already be in touch with your inner

already be in touch with your inner voice and you know what you want to do

voice and you know what you want to do

voice and you know what you want to do but you’re not able to do that because

but you’re not able to do that because

but you’re not able to do that because there’s a strong resistance and a

there’s a strong resistance and a

there’s a strong resistance and a position from the people around us and

position from the people around us and

position from the people around us and you know why that is it’s simply because

you know why that is it’s simply because

you know why that is it’s simply because the stories that they have heard is

the stories that they have heard is

the stories that they have heard is different from the stories that you want

different from the stories that you want

different from the stories that you want to create in your life so when I decided

to create in your life so when I decided

to create in your life so when I decided to move to the farm quitting my

to move to the farm quitting my

to move to the farm quitting my lucrative job I was told all these here

lucrative job I was told all these here

lucrative job I was told all these here are being immature you’re being childish

are being immature you’re being childish

are being immature you’re being childish you’re wasting your life is the is

you’re wasting your life is the is

you’re wasting your life is the is opportunity given to you such a good

opportunity given to you such a good

opportunity given to you such a good education how can you just simply waste

education how can you just simply waste

education how can you just simply waste it like that my parents said have you

it like that my parents said have you

it like that my parents said have you gone mad and I realized that’s not their

gone mad and I realized that’s not their

gone mad and I realized that’s not their fault that they don’t understand it it’s

fault that they don’t understand it it’s

fault that they don’t understand it it’s just that I’m able to see a story which

just that I’m able to see a story which

just that I’m able to see a story which they are not able to see so I don’t need

they are not able to see so I don’t need

they are not able to see so I don’t need to react

to react

to react then in fact from that day I learned

then in fact from that day I learned

then in fact from that day I learned this that let’s remove this word mad

this that let’s remove this word mad

this that let’s remove this word mad from the list of derogatory words and

from the list of derogatory words and

from the list of derogatory words and let’s take it as a compliment today

let’s take it as a compliment today

let’s take it as a compliment today after moving to farm and getting in

after moving to farm and getting in

after moving to farm and getting in touch with my inner voice I wouldn’t say

touch with my inner voice I wouldn’t say

touch with my inner voice I wouldn’t say that everything is rosy it doesn’t mean

that everything is rosy it doesn’t mean

that everything is rosy it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen like that I still have

it doesn’t happen like that I still have

it doesn’t happen like that I still have problems I still face challenges but now

problems I still face challenges but now

problems I still face challenges but now I know it’s my problem that I’m facing

I know it’s my problem that I’m facing

I know it’s my problem that I’m facing its my challenges that I’m trying to

its my challenges that I’m trying to

its my challenges that I’m trying to meet not somebody else’s and I’m able to

meet not somebody else’s and I’m able to

meet not somebody else’s and I’m able to create a life of my own so I want to

create a life of my own so I want to

create a life of my own so I want to leave you with this question whose life

leave you with this question whose life

leave you with this question whose life are you living whenever you need to make

are you living whenever you need to make

are you living whenever you need to make that next move in life whenever you need

that next move in life whenever you need

that next move in life whenever you need to make that strong shift that next big

to make that strong shift that next big

to make that strong shift that next big decision in life whenever you need to

decision in life whenever you need to

decision in life whenever you need to answer this question work now first ask

answer this question work now first ask

answer this question work now first ask yourself this whose life am i living and

yourself this whose life am i living and

yourself this whose life am i living and if the answer is not a very loud and

if the answer is not a very loud and

if the answer is not a very loud and clear my life take it pause and let the

clear my life take it pause and let the

clear my life take it pause and let the inner voice be heard

inner voice be heard

inner voice be heard thank you

”

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