thank you thank you before I start I find myself you need to acknowledge the
find myself you need to acknowledge the
find myself you need to acknowledge the Tanana Athabascan people who are the
Tanana Athabascan people who are the
Tanana Athabascan people who are the traditional caretakers of this land that
traditional caretakers of this land that
traditional caretakers of this land that we’re having these talks on they’ve
we’re having these talks on they’ve
we’re having these talks on they’ve benefited my life greatly with their
benefited my life greatly with their
benefited my life greatly with their stories I have learned from them and I
stories I have learned from them and I
stories I have learned from them and I hope and pray that these stories will
hope and pray that these stories will
hope and pray that these stories will continue to be circulated so that we can
continue to be circulated so that we can
continue to be circulated so that we can all learn from them I love stories I
all learn from them I love stories I
all learn from them I love stories I love books as you can probably tell and
love books as you can probably tell and
love books as you can probably tell and when I was a kid I loved stories known
when I was a kid I loved stories known
when I was a kid I loved stories known as choose your own adventure books you
as choose your own adventure books you
as choose your own adventure books you probably know some of these books for
probably know some of these books for
probably know some of these books for instance you might encounter a dragon go
instance you might encounter a dragon go
instance you might encounter a dragon go to page 36 to slay the dragon go to page
to page 36 to slay the dragon go to page
to page 36 to slay the dragon go to page 42 to befriend the dragon take him home
42 to befriend the dragon take him home
42 to befriend the dragon take him home to your parents and turn him into your
to your parents and turn him into your
to your parents and turn him into your pet a couple of people that taught me
pet a couple of people that taught me
pet a couple of people that taught me about stories are my mom Dorothy and my
about stories are my mom Dorothy and my
about stories are my mom Dorothy and my friend Ken Potter my mom she recently
friend Ken Potter my mom she recently
friend Ken Potter my mom she recently retired after several years of owning a
retired after several years of owning a
retired after several years of owning a bridal and tuxedo shop she was always
bridal and tuxedo shop she was always
bridal and tuxedo shop she was always teaching me things first of all she
teaching me things first of all she
teaching me things first of all she taught me about books
taught me about books
taught me about books she was always open to me reading books
she was always open to me reading books
she was always open to me reading books no matter what time of night it was and
no matter what time of night it was and
no matter what time of night it was and whenever I had a question about what a
whenever I had a question about what a
whenever I had a question about what a word meant or how it was spelled she
word meant or how it was spelled she
word meant or how it was spelled she directed me to the family dictionary
directed me to the family dictionary
directed me to the family dictionary which tortures practice I’ve continued
which tortures practice I’ve continued
which tortures practice I’ve continued on as a parent to my own kids she also
on as a parent to my own kids she also
on as a parent to my own kids she also taught that people live stories she
taught that people live stories she
taught that people live stories she taught me that we can we can be there
taught me that we can we can be there
taught me that we can we can be there for other people that we can we can
for other people that we can we can
for other people that we can we can treat other people right and she did
treat other people right and she did
treat other people right and she did this through her examples for instance
this through her examples for instance
this through her examples for instance somebody might call at the last minute
somebody might call at the last minute
somebody might call at the last minute just before a wedding started and that
just before a wedding started and that
just before a wedding started and that they needed some last-minute alterations
they needed some last-minute alterations
they needed some last-minute alterations done and she’d run to the church and
done and she’d run to the church and
done and she’d run to the church and she’d do it right there or she might
she’d do it right there or she might
she’d do it right there or she might have an employee that was going
have an employee that was going
have an employee that was going through some personal suffering and she
through some personal suffering and she
through some personal suffering and she would take her off to the side no matter
would take her off to the side no matter
would take her off to the side no matter how busy she was and she would relate to
how busy she was and she would relate to
how busy she was and she would relate to that person not as an employer to an
that person not as an employer to an
that person not as an employer to an employee but as one human being to the
employee but as one human being to the
employee but as one human being to the other that’s how I recognized my friend
other that’s how I recognized my friend
other that’s how I recognized my friend Ken Potter who is a narrative therapist
Ken Potter who is a narrative therapist
Ken Potter who is a narrative therapist and the type of narrative practice that
and the type of narrative practice that
and the type of narrative practice that he put into his life even outside of
he put into his life even outside of
he put into his life even outside of being a being a therapist narrative
being a being a therapist narrative
being a being a therapist narrative practice is a way of relating to other
practice is a way of relating to other
practice is a way of relating to other people that notices that we are in
people that notices that we are in
people that notices that we are in relationship to one another and two
relationship to one another and two
relationship to one another and two particular stories that we might live
particular stories that we might live
particular stories that we might live can and many of the other narrative
can and many of the other narrative
can and many of the other narrative practitioners that I’ve run into they
practitioners that I’ve run into they
practitioners that I’ve run into they are the most present and acknowledging
are the most present and acknowledging
are the most present and acknowledging people that I’ve ever known
people that I’ve ever known
people that I’ve ever known and I knew that when I came in contact
and I knew that when I came in contact
and I knew that when I came in contact with him in these other people my heart
with him in these other people my heart
with him in these other people my heart told me this is the calling that I had
told me this is the calling that I had
told me this is the calling that I had it told me that this was the type of
it told me that this was the type of
it told me that this was the type of marriage and Family Therapy I wanted to
marriage and Family Therapy I wanted to
marriage and Family Therapy I wanted to do with people but this isn’t a talk
do with people but this isn’t a talk
do with people but this isn’t a talk about narrative therapy this is a TED
about narrative therapy this is a TED
about narrative therapy this is a TED talk about narrative practice let me
talk about narrative practice let me
talk about narrative practice let me tell you a story that illustrates this
tell you a story that illustrates this
tell you a story that illustrates this so a church leader of mine diederich
so a church leader of mine diederich
so a church leader of mine diederich Dorf talked about one time that he and
Dorf talked about one time that he and
Dorf talked about one time that he and some other people were trying to move a
some other people were trying to move a
some other people were trying to move a grand piano from one side of a building
grand piano from one side of a building
grand piano from one side of a building to another no matter how they tried
to another no matter how they tried
to another no matter how they tried situating themselves they couldn’t get
situating themselves they couldn’t get
situating themselves they couldn’t get this thing to move until one man said
this thing to move until one man said
this thing to move until one man said brethren why don’t we space ourselves
brethren why don’t we space ourselves
brethren why don’t we space ourselves evenly about the piano and lift where we
evenly about the piano and lift where we
evenly about the piano and lift where we stand this is about lifting where we
stand this is about lifting where we
stand this is about lifting where we stand using narrative practice in a way
stand using narrative practice in a way
stand using narrative practice in a way that builds our capacities as a
that builds our capacities as a
that builds our capacities as a community this is what I’ve come to
community this is what I’ve come to
community this is what I’ve come to appreciate let me talk a little bit
appreciate let me talk a little bit
appreciate let me talk a little bit about when I first walked into
about when I first walked into
about when I first walked into appreciation I was at a workshop in
appreciation I was at a workshop in
appreciation I was at a workshop in Vancouver British Columbia
Vancouver British Columbia
Vancouver British Columbia several years ago listening to one of my
several years ago listening to one of my
several years ago listening to one of my favorite narrative practitioners David
favorite narrative practitioners David
favorite narrative practitioners David Epstein
Epstein
Epstein and what he said there changed the way
and what he said there changed the way
and what he said there changed the way that I practiced not just as a therapist
that I practiced not just as a therapist
that I practiced not just as a therapist but in all aspects of my life he said to
but in all aspects of my life he said to
but in all aspects of my life he said to appreciate someone and have them
appreciate someone and have them
appreciate someone and have them appreciate themselves in a situation
appreciate themselves in a situation
appreciate themselves in a situation where they might expect to be degraded
where they might expect to be degraded
where they might expect to be degraded is beyond my belief now as a as a very
is beyond my belief now as a as a very
is beyond my belief now as a as a very positive person I would usually go to
positive person I would usually go to
positive person I would usually go to the appreciation first but I want to
the appreciation first but I want to
the appreciation first but I want to talk to you a little bit about stories
talk to you a little bit about stories
talk to you a little bit about stories of degradation first imagine if you will
of degradation first imagine if you will
of degradation first imagine if you will looking at this slide here all these
looking at this slide here all these
looking at this slide here all these different X’s are different events that
different X’s are different events that
different X’s are different events that might occur in somebody’s life let’s
might occur in somebody’s life let’s
might occur in somebody’s life let’s imagine a young man who’s had this the
imagine a young man who’s had this the
imagine a young man who’s had this the story told about him that he gets poor
story told about him that he gets poor
story told about him that he gets poor grades he actually does get some really
grades he actually does get some really
grades he actually does get some really poor grades in school he often gets into
poor grades in school he often gets into
poor grades in school he often gets into fights at school with other kids he
fights at school with other kids he
fights at school with other kids he seems to have no friends people start
seems to have no friends people start
seems to have no friends people start circulating the story that it must be
circulating the story that it must be
circulating the story that it must be due to bad parenting and they start to
due to bad parenting and they start to
due to bad parenting and they start to project this future for him that he’s
project this future for him that he’s
project this future for him that he’s going to end up in prison and then they
going to end up in prison and then they
going to end up in prison and then they string this all together as one story
string this all together as one story
string this all together as one story about who this young man is and the
about who this young man is and the
about who this young man is and the story might have to do with him being a
story might have to do with him being a
story might have to do with him being a troubled kid that might be the the title
troubled kid that might be the the title
troubled kid that might be the the title of this story
of this story
of this story these degraded stories impoverished
these degraded stories impoverished
these degraded stories impoverished stories or as Ted speaker tamam done ago
stories or as Ted speaker tamam done ago
stories or as Ted speaker tamam done ago jeoldae che calls them single storing
jeoldae che calls them single storing
jeoldae che calls them single storing isolates a person’s identity to the most
isolates a person’s identity to the most
isolates a person’s identity to the most problematic events in their lives it
problematic events in their lives it
problematic events in their lives it degrades them and it edit out any other
degrades them and it edit out any other
degrades them and it edit out any other possibilities like these others here
possibilities like these others here
possibilities like these others here that might have to do with other
that might have to do with other
that might have to do with other possibilities that they have there are
possibilities that they have there are
possibilities that they have there are however other ways that we can look at
however other ways that we can look at
however other ways that we can look at our life and the lives of those that we
our life and the lives of those that we
our life and the lives of those that we relate to which socio neurologists
relate to which socio neurologists
relate to which socio neurologists Arthur Frank calls generous stories this
Arthur Frank calls generous stories this
Arthur Frank calls generous stories this might have to do a little bit more of
might have to do a little bit more of
might have to do a little bit more of the appreciation that I talked about
the appreciation that I talked about
the appreciation that I talked about appreciative stories can look at at
appreciative stories can look at at
appreciative stories can look at at least two different things I found the
least two different things I found the
least two different things I found the first level of appreciation is realizing
first level of appreciation is realizing
first level of appreciation is realizing that there’s these other stories that
that there’s these other stories that
that there’s these other stories that we’ve already talked about these other
we’ve already talked about these other
we’ve already talked about these other events in people’s lives imagine this
events in people’s lives imagine this
events in people’s lives imagine this same young man that he has maybe the
same young man that he has maybe the
same young man that he has maybe the second part of this is appreciation he
second part of this is appreciation he
second part of this is appreciation he has some particular skills for instance
has some particular skills for instance
has some particular skills for instance he loves art and history and does really
he loves art and history and does really
he loves art and history and does really well with it he actually gets some some
well with it he actually gets some some
well with it he actually gets some some really great grades he stands up for a
really great grades he stands up for a
really great grades he stands up for a single mom which incidentally is a
single mom which incidentally is a
single mom which incidentally is a reason why he gets into so many fights
reason why he gets into so many fights
reason why he gets into so many fights at school he has a small circle of true
at school he has a small circle of true
at school he has a small circle of true friends his mom supports his art and
friends his mom supports his art and
friends his mom supports his art and they love to sing all these together the
they love to sing all these together the
they love to sing all these together the future that this young man and his mom
future that this young man and his mom
future that this young man and his mom and others that might support him might
and others that might support him might
and others that might support him might call this a future so bright as they
call this a future so bright as they
call this a future so bright as they look into the future for him this also
look into the future for him this also
look into the future for him this also as I said can get put into a story but
as I said can get put into a story but
as I said can get put into a story but it also recognizes all of the other
it also recognizes all of the other
it also recognizes all of the other possible stories that might occur that
possible stories that might occur that
possible stories that might occur that this young man might walk into whether
this young man might walk into whether
this young man might walk into whether they’re seen or unseen whether they’re
they’re seen or unseen whether they’re
they’re seen or unseen whether they’re real or imaginary the sort of story that
real or imaginary the sort of story that
real or imaginary the sort of story that this young man and his supporters might
this young man and his supporters might
this young man and his supporters might cast for him is no obstacles in my way
cast for him is no obstacles in my way
cast for him is no obstacles in my way because of all of these possible stories
because of all of these possible stories
because of all of these possible stories that he might live into it’s it’s very
that he might live into it’s it’s very
that he might live into it’s it’s very hard to recognize these type of stories
hard to recognize these type of stories
hard to recognize these type of stories unless you have people in your life to
unless you have people in your life to
unless you have people in your life to help you recognize them one way that I
help you recognize them one way that I
help you recognize them one way that I often illustrate this is through the
often illustrate this is through the
often illustrate this is through the different clubs that we might have in
different clubs that we might have in
different clubs that we might have in our life imagine like all of the people
our life imagine like all of the people
our life imagine like all of the people that you know in your life good bad and
that you know in your life good bad and
that you know in your life good bad and indifferent you might have those as
indifferent you might have those as
indifferent you might have those as memberships of a club of life if you
memberships of a club of life if you
memberships of a club of life if you think of it these clubs of life have
think of it these clubs of life have
think of it these clubs of life have several membership tears and the one
several membership tears and the one
several membership tears and the one that I want to focus on is it might be
that I want to focus on is it might be
that I want to focus on is it might be called a Platinum membership this would
called a Platinum membership this would
called a Platinum membership this would be the MVPs in your life if you think
be the MVPs in your life if you think
be the MVPs in your life if you think about these people there’s very very few
about these people there’s very very few
about these people there’s very very few of these people maybe only one or two is
of these people maybe only one or two is
of these people maybe only one or two is what I’ve what I’ve run into most people
what I’ve what I’ve run into most people
what I’ve what I’ve run into most people have and these are the people that will
have and these are the people that will
have and these are the people that will put down everything that they have or
put down everything that they have or
put down everything that they have or they’ll set up a time for you to be able
they’ll set up a time for you to be able
they’ll set up a time for you to be able to talk and they will hear your entire
to talk and they will hear your entire
to talk and they will hear your entire story they’ll appreciate it they’ll
story they’ll appreciate it they’ll
story they’ll appreciate it they’ll appreciate all the possible castings for
appreciate all the possible castings for
appreciate all the possible castings for you as a person and they’ll vie for your
you as a person and they’ll vie for your
you as a person and they’ll vie for your moral character and then if you need
moral character and then if you need
moral character and then if you need some advice
some advice
some advice notice I didn’t say want some advice but
notice I didn’t say want some advice but
notice I didn’t say want some advice but you need some advice if they need to
you need some advice if they need to
you need some advice if they need to they can rip you up one side and down
they can rip you up one side and down
they can rip you up one side and down the other and you won’t take it badly
the other and you won’t take it badly
the other and you won’t take it badly because you know that that person loves
because you know that that person loves
because you know that that person loves and cares about you okay so the story
and cares about you okay so the story
and cares about you okay so the story that I’d really like to tell that’s
that I’d really like to tell that’s
that I’d really like to tell that’s probably one of the closest ones to my
probably one of the closest ones to my
probably one of the closest ones to my heart is of a friend of mine several
heart is of a friend of mine several
heart is of a friend of mine several years ago at the at the wrap up of that
years ago at the at the wrap up of that
years ago at the at the wrap up of that part of our relationship I started kind
part of our relationship I started kind
part of our relationship I started kind of questioning her about her experience
of questioning her about her experience
of questioning her about her experience of treatment and she said when she was
of treatment and she said when she was
of treatment and she said when she was 16 at the time that over 16 years she
16 at the time that over 16 years she
16 at the time that over 16 years she had spent nine years in some sort of
had spent nine years in some sort of
had spent nine years in some sort of treatment either residential or
treatment either residential or
treatment either residential or outpatient like what I was doing with
outpatient like what I was doing with
outpatient like what I was doing with her and and I was really kind of amazed
her and and I was really kind of amazed
her and and I was really kind of amazed at how it was that she survived this how
at how it was that she survived this how
at how it was that she survived this how did you survive nine years of your short
did you survive nine years of your short
did you survive nine years of your short 16 years in treatment and her answer
16 years in treatment and her answer
16 years in treatment and her answer didn’t surprise me at all it was
didn’t surprise me at all it was
didn’t surprise me at all it was actually sort of mirthful and and and
actually sort of mirthful and and and
actually sort of mirthful and and and she said it was by keeping my head held
she said it was by keeping my head held
she said it was by keeping my head held high and my middle finger higher and I
high and my middle finger higher and I
high and my middle finger higher and I and I and I loved that and wasn’t
and I and I loved that and wasn’t
and I and I loved that and wasn’t offended at that at all but I I was
offended at that at all but I I was
offended at that at all but I I was really drawn into that and I said why
really drawn into that and I said why
really drawn into that and I said why I’ve got to get some little stories
I’ve got to get some little stories
I’ve got to get some little stories about that could you tell me a little
about that could you tell me a little
about that could you tell me a little bit about that so if you told their
bit about that so if you told their
bit about that so if you told their stories and we explored it we found that
stories and we explored it we found that
stories and we explored it we found that when she kept her middle finger higher
when she kept her middle finger higher
when she kept her middle finger higher she she found that she was alienating
she she found that she was alienating
she she found that she was alienating some people that she really needed or
some people that she really needed or
some people that she really needed or cared about in her life that she was
cared about in her life that she was
cared about in her life that she was getting in trouble at school and work
getting in trouble at school and work
getting in trouble at school and work and that she really wasn’t going down
and that she really wasn’t going down
and that she really wasn’t going down the path that she had originally
the path that she had originally
the path that she had originally intended to so we kind of said well what
intended to so we kind of said well what
intended to so we kind of said well what if we put that on the if we did the flip
if we put that on the if we did the flip
if we put that on the if we did the flip on that and you kept your head held
on that and you kept your head held
on that and you kept your head held higher and she started we started
higher and she started we started
higher and she started we started locating together some of these events
locating together some of these events
locating together some of these events that she had not previously noticed
that she had not previously noticed
that she had not previously noticed where she was keeping her head held
where she was keeping her head held
where she was keeping her head held higher but she didn’t get rid of the the
higher but she didn’t get rid of the the
higher but she didn’t get rid of the the finger so she she said okay we’ll flip
finger so she she said okay we’ll flip
finger so she she said okay we’ll flip that we’ll call that keeping my middle
that we’ll call that keeping my middle
that we’ll call that keeping my middle finger high and my head held higher and
finger high and my head held higher and
finger high and my head held higher and we both thought that was great and I hid
we both thought that was great and I hid
we both thought that was great and I hid with her permission I took it to a
with her permission I took it to a
with her permission I took it to a friend of mine and this friend said that
friend of mine and this friend said that
friend of mine and this friend said that sounds like some sort of dignified
sounds like some sort of dignified
sounds like some sort of dignified defiance to me and so I took that back
defiance to me and so I took that back
defiance to me and so I took that back to her and she said yeah I like that you
to her and she said yeah I like that you
to her and she said yeah I like that you can use that because there’s gonna be
can use that because there’s gonna be
can use that because there’s gonna be people that are offended by the middle
people that are offended by the middle
people that are offended by the middle finger so you can go ahead and use
finger so you can go ahead and use
finger so you can go ahead and use dignified defiance okay so I you know I
dignified defiance okay so I you know I
dignified defiance okay so I you know I started thinking about you know these
started thinking about you know these
started thinking about you know these conversations I was having with folks
conversations I was having with folks
conversations I was having with folks and I thought you know I wear a lot of
and I thought you know I wear a lot of
and I thought you know I wear a lot of hats and a lot of people wear different
hats and a lot of people wear different
hats and a lot of people wear different types of hats you know and and why do I
types of hats you know and and why do I
types of hats you know and and why do I have to privatise narrative practice to
have to privatise narrative practice to
have to privatise narrative practice to just be in a therapist and so what I
just be in a therapist and so what I
just be in a therapist and so what I first started doing is is that I the
first started doing is is that I the
first started doing is is that I the thing that was closest to my heart as
thing that was closest to my heart as
thing that was closest to my heart as far as the hats that I wear is being a
far as the hats that I wear is being a
far as the hats that I wear is being a dad and and being a family man and I
dad and and being a family man and I
dad and and being a family man and I what I started doing I started I bought
what I started doing I started I bought
what I started doing I started I bought a big stack of notebooks like I might
a big stack of notebooks like I might
a big stack of notebooks like I might for my clients and and I started
for my clients and and I started
for my clients and and I started scheduling interviews with my kids once
scheduling interviews with my kids once
scheduling interviews with my kids once a month where I would sit down and I’d
a month where I would sit down and I’d
a month where I would sit down and I’d interview them like I would one of the
interview them like I would one of the
interview them like I would one of the folks that comes to consult me and I
folks that comes to consult me and I
folks that comes to consult me and I found as I did that I came to hear some
found as I did that I came to hear some
found as I did that I came to hear some stories I had never heard before and
stories I had never heard before and
stories I had never heard before and started seeing a part of them that I had
started seeing a part of them that I had
started seeing a part of them that I had never seen before in my relationship to
never seen before in my relationship to
never seen before in my relationship to them I started looking into other parts
them I started looking into other parts
them I started looking into other parts of my life other hats that I wear like
of my life other hats that I wear like
of my life other hats that I wear like my church callings my co-worker ship
my church callings my co-worker ship
my church callings my co-worker ship looking at myself even as a as a
looking at myself even as a as a
looking at myself even as a as a customer at the grocery store and
customer at the grocery store and
customer at the grocery store and thinking about you know how
thinking about you know how
thinking about you know how and I do this more in my life I also
and I do this more in my life I also
and I do this more in my life I also started getting some stories from other
started getting some stories from other
started getting some stories from other other folks how they were noticing it
other folks how they were noticing it
other folks how they were noticing it too like one friend of mine she she
too like one friend of mine she she
too like one friend of mine she she ended up going to a Mexican restaurant
ended up going to a Mexican restaurant
ended up going to a Mexican restaurant and the family member that she was with
and the family member that she was with
and the family member that she was with just treated the customer service person
just treated the customer service person
just treated the customer service person horribly horribly and she and she decide
horribly horribly and she and she decide
horribly horribly and she and she decide from that point on that she was going to
from that point on that she was going to
from that point on that she was going to be a good customer because she said it
be a good customer because she said it
be a good customer because she said it you’ll never know where how you’re going
you’ll never know where how you’re going
you’ll never know where how you’re going to impact somebody I had a similar one
to impact somebody I had a similar one
to impact somebody I had a similar one like that where I was having a really
like that where I was having a really
like that where I was having a really bad day I was tired I was driving out
bad day I was tired I was driving out
bad day I was tired I was driving out from I guess most people know where
from I guess most people know where
from I guess most people know where Delta Junction is and I was I was out in
Delta Junction is and I was I was out in
Delta Junction is and I was I was out in Delta Junction I just wanted to get home
Delta Junction I just wanted to get home
Delta Junction I just wanted to get home I went to get something in my belly
I went to get something in my belly
I went to get something in my belly I took the lazier out and I went to the
I took the lazier out and I went to the
I took the lazier out and I went to the Mexican restaurant which will not be
Mexican restaurant which will not be
Mexican restaurant which will not be named and and as I came to this
named and and as I came to this
named and and as I came to this restaurant and I came up to the box to
restaurant and I came up to the box to
restaurant and I came up to the box to order the voice that came over it said
order the voice that came over it said
order the voice that came over it said have a taco rific Tuesday and and it was
have a taco rific Tuesday and and it was
have a taco rific Tuesday and and it was so they were so enthused and so genuine
so they were so enthused and so genuine
so they were so enthused and so genuine about her like I don’t know what a
about her like I don’t know what a
about her like I don’t know what a terrific Tuesday is but I’m gonna have a
terrific Tuesday is but I’m gonna have a
terrific Tuesday is but I’m gonna have a terrific Tuesday
terrific Tuesday
terrific Tuesday you know I was just so excited about
you know I was just so excited about
you know I was just so excited about having a terrific Tuesday and and my
having a terrific Tuesday and and my
having a terrific Tuesday and and my life changed because of of this terrific
life changed because of of this terrific
life changed because of of this terrific Tuesday that I was wish you know and and
Tuesday that I was wish you know and and
Tuesday that I was wish you know and and it was so exciting to me and I started
it was so exciting to me and I started
it was so exciting to me and I started you know trying to figuring out okay
you know trying to figuring out okay
you know trying to figuring out okay well what are what are some some ways
well what are what are some some ways
well what are what are some some ways that other people are doing this in
that other people are doing this in
that other people are doing this in their life so I kind of did a little
their life so I kind of did a little
their life so I kind of did a little survey and I categorized the hats that
survey and I categorized the hats that
survey and I categorized the hats that we wear into job career and calling and
we wear into job career and calling and
we wear into job career and calling and I’m going to tell you three stories
I’m going to tell you three stories
I’m going to tell you three stories about them so you I don’t know how to
about them so you I don’t know how to
about them so you I don’t know how to put up a crown molding I I’m I’m just
put up a crown molding I I’m I’m just
put up a crown molding I I’m I’m just not talented in that way as you might
not talented in that way as you might
not talented in that way as you might see with this this corner right here I
see with this this corner right here I
see with this this corner right here I did not make that that crack in the wall
did not make that that crack in the wall
did not make that that crack in the wall I didn’t do that
I didn’t do that
I didn’t do that but there’s a big cleft right there you
but there’s a big cleft right there you
but there’s a big cleft right there you might see and I’ll fit I’ll figure out
might see and I’ll fit I’ll figure out
might see and I’ll fit I’ll figure out that sometime but that’s my work but I
that sometime but that’s my work but I
that sometime but that’s my work but I knew somebody
knew somebody
knew somebody knew how to do this type of work and I
knew how to do this type of work and I
knew how to do this type of work and I brought him in and he hadn’t done it for
brought him in and he hadn’t done it for
brought him in and he hadn’t done it for for a while so he’s doing this this
for a while so he’s doing this this
for a while so he’s doing this this first joint right here and so as he’s
first joint right here and so as he’s
first joint right here and so as he’s doing this I’m noticing him getting
doing this I’m noticing him getting
doing this I’m noticing him getting really frustrated but I’m really more
really frustrated but I’m really more
really frustrated but I’m really more interested that he’s not getting more
interested that he’s not getting more
interested that he’s not getting more frustrated cuz because I would have and
frustrated cuz because I would have and
frustrated cuz because I would have and I and I mentioned this to him I said man
I and I mentioned this to him I said man
I and I mentioned this to him I said man you know I I I’d probably be saying some
you know I I I’d probably be saying some
you know I I I’d probably be saying some choice words to that joint right there
choice words to that joint right there
choice words to that joint right there what why aren’t you and and he said well
what why aren’t you and and he said well
what why aren’t you and and he said well it’s it’s in part the company that I am
it’s it’s in part the company that I am
it’s it’s in part the company that I am you know you’re it’s really helping you
you know you’re it’s really helping you
you know you’re it’s really helping you be in here it’s like well you know I I’m
be in here it’s like well you know I I’m
be in here it’s like well you know I I’m sure that there’s more to the story than
sure that there’s more to the story than
sure that there’s more to the story than that it’s like well who is it that
that it’s like well who is it that
that it’s like well who is it that taught you to do this type of craft and
taught you to do this type of craft and
taught you to do this type of craft and who is it that kind of taught you not to
who is it that kind of taught you not to
who is it that kind of taught you not to get more irritated than this and he says
get more irritated than this and he says
get more irritated than this and he says well I’ll tell you who didn’t teach me
well I’ll tell you who didn’t teach me
well I’ll tell you who didn’t teach me how to do it as my dad my dad taught me
how to do it as my dad my dad taught me
how to do it as my dad my dad taught me how to do the work but whenever he got
how to do the work but whenever he got
how to do the work but whenever he got frustrated with something like this he
frustrated with something like this he
frustrated with something like this he just smashed through the thing but my
just smashed through the thing but my
just smashed through the thing but my grandpa my grandpa if he started
grandpa my grandpa if he started
grandpa my grandpa if he started noticing that something was working like
noticing that something was working like
noticing that something was working like this he’d get very thoughtful and he’d
this he’d get very thoughtful and he’d
this he’d get very thoughtful and he’d get very patient with it and so as he’s
get very patient with it and so as he’s
get very patient with it and so as he’s telling me this story he he’d makes the
telling me this story he he’d makes the
telling me this story he he’d makes the cuts the initial cut but then he he
cuts the initial cut but then he he
cuts the initial cut but then he he pulls out as his knife and he just
pulls out as his knife and he just
pulls out as his knife and he just starts whittling away at the back of it
starts whittling away at the back of it
starts whittling away at the back of it and and I was just I was incredibly
and and I was just I was incredibly
and and I was just I was incredibly touched that he was able to put away
touched that he was able to put away
touched that he was able to put away this modern piece of machinery after he
this modern piece of machinery after he
this modern piece of machinery after he made the cut and he was able to draw out
made the cut and he was able to draw out
made the cut and he was able to draw out this a teach-in piece of machinery and
this a teach-in piece of machinery and
this a teach-in piece of machinery and use this craft and when he was done he
use this craft and when he was done he
use this craft and when he was done he had put together these these beautiful
had put together these these beautiful
had put together these these beautiful joints that that I’ve never been able to
joints that that I’ve never been able to
joints that that I’ve never been able to do but I was I was just really touched
do but I was I was just really touched
do but I was I was just really touched by that and we talked about it
by that and we talked about it
by that and we talked about it afterwards and he he said he never would
afterwards and he he said he never would
afterwards and he he said he never would have been able to do that if he hadn’t
have been able to do that if he hadn’t
have been able to do that if he hadn’t remembered his dad and his grandpa and
remembered his dad and his grandpa and
remembered his dad and his grandpa and decided that he didn’t want to smash
decided that he didn’t want to smash
decided that he didn’t want to smash through this or any other of his crafts
through this or any other of his crafts
through this or any other of his crafts but that he went to be very patient and
but that he went to be very patient and
but that he went to be very patient and thoughtful I have a doctor friend of
thoughtful I have a doctor friend of
thoughtful I have a doctor friend of mine that she started to step
mine that she started to step
mine that she started to step to narrative practice and our medical
to narrative practice and our medical
to narrative practice and our medical practice and one day she was at her
practice and one day she was at her
practice and one day she was at her clinic and a woman came in that
clinic and a woman came in that
clinic and a woman came in that everybody all the doctors referred to as
everybody all the doctors referred to as
everybody all the doctors referred to as that patient and and she as soon as
that patient and and she as soon as
that patient and and she as soon as everybody started to kind of back back
everybody started to kind of back back
everybody started to kind of back back away and it started to fight amongst
away and it started to fight amongst
away and it started to fight amongst themselves as to who’s going to take
themselves as to who’s going to take
themselves as to who’s going to take this lady as a patient she raised her
this lady as a patient she raised her
this lady as a patient she raised her hand said I’ll do it I’ll do it
hand said I’ll do it I’ll do it
hand said I’ll do it I’ll do it and as she walked back to the
and as she walked back to the
and as she walked back to the examination room with this woman she had
examination room with this woman she had
examination room with this woman she had in her heart that she was going to be as
in her heart that she was going to be as
in her heart that she was going to be as one human being to another and that she
one human being to another and that she
one human being to another and that she was going to hear this woman’s stories
was going to hear this woman’s stories
was going to hear this woman’s stories and that’s what she did in the
and that’s what she did in the
and that’s what she did in the examination room she still did her
examination room she still did her
examination room she still did her doctoring but she decided that she was
doctoring but she decided that she was
doctoring but she decided that she was going to be more of a human with this
going to be more of a human with this
going to be more of a human with this woman than having a doctor to patient
woman than having a doctor to patient
woman than having a doctor to patient type of relationship in my in my last
type of relationship in my in my last
type of relationship in my in my last category that of calling which some
category that of calling which some
category that of calling which some people have called when I looked at the
people have called when I looked at the
people have called when I looked at the survey they called it a burning in the
survey they called it a burning in the
survey they called it a burning in the bones or refer to it as outstretched
bones or refer to it as outstretched
bones or refer to it as outstretched hands that they had felt through job and
hands that they had felt through job and
hands that they had felt through job and career I had to talk about my my mom and
career I had to talk about my my mom and
career I had to talk about my my mom and dad my mom and dad even though they they
dad my mom and dad even though they they
dad my mom and dad even though they they got divorced when I was maybe just a
got divorced when I was maybe just a
got divorced when I was maybe just a little bit older than in this picture
little bit older than in this picture
little bit older than in this picture they they raised a man apart that got me
they they raised a man apart that got me
they they raised a man apart that got me to feel like I was worth being parented
to feel like I was worth being parented
to feel like I was worth being parented my mom is I’ve already mentioned she she
my mom is I’ve already mentioned she she
my mom is I’ve already mentioned she she was a person that taught me to treat
was a person that taught me to treat
was a person that taught me to treat people right no matter what the
people right no matter what the
people right no matter what the agreeance or disagreements was my dad
agreeance or disagreements was my dad
agreeance or disagreements was my dad though he was born with a degenerative
though he was born with a degenerative
though he was born with a degenerative eye disease and was blind by the time I
eye disease and was blind by the time I
eye disease and was blind by the time I remember him and had a healthy dose of
remember him and had a healthy dose of
remember him and had a healthy dose of defiance which by the way he passed down
defiance which by the way he passed down
defiance which by the way he passed down to his children he ended up taking that
to his children he ended up taking that
to his children he ended up taking that maybe in his mid-20s to become an
maybe in his mid-20s to become an
maybe in his mid-20s to become an activist in behalf of blind rights
activist in behalf of blind rights
activist in behalf of blind rights through the National Federation of the
through the National Federation of the
through the National Federation of the blind and he was also really well-known
blind and he was also really well-known
blind and he was also really well-known as very good at teaching people cane
as very good at teaching people cane
as very good at teaching people cane travel they raised this man that was
travel they raised this man that was
travel they raised this man that was able to
able to
able to take all of the gifts that they were
take all of the gifts that they were
take all of the gifts that they were given and able to hear a little bit
given and able to hear a little bit
given and able to hear a little bit about the possible ‘no civ ailable in
about the possible ‘no civ ailable in
about the possible ‘no civ ailable in life as far as the type of identities
life as far as the type of identities
life as far as the type of identities that I might have and help me to be able
that I might have and help me to be able
that I might have and help me to be able to advocate for other people by with
to advocate for other people by with
to advocate for other people by with them spitting in the eye of some
them spitting in the eye of some
them spitting in the eye of some societal norms that we have that degrade
societal norms that we have that degrade
societal norms that we have that degrade people it’s my hope and prayer that all
people it’s my hope and prayer that all
people it’s my hope and prayer that all of us will be able to appreciate
of us will be able to appreciate
of us will be able to appreciate ourselves and our relationships and the
ourselves and our relationships and the
ourselves and our relationships and the values we’re starting to walk up to that
values we’re starting to walk up to that
values we’re starting to walk up to that we’ll be able to in our relationships
we’ll be able to in our relationships
we’ll be able to in our relationships ask ourselves am i how am i becoming or
ask ourselves am i how am i becoming or
ask ourselves am i how am i becoming or how do I become a platinum member in
how do I become a platinum member in
how do I become a platinum member in this person’s life or gold or silver or
this person’s life or gold or silver or
this person’s life or gold or silver or bronze and be able to recognize the
bronze and be able to recognize the
bronze and be able to recognize the values they’re stepping into as well
values they’re stepping into as well
values they’re stepping into as well thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
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