a few weeks ago I had a dream I was with my friends and we were all in their
my friends and we were all in their
my friends and we were all in their backyards we are eating some food when
backyards we are eating some food when
backyards we are eating some food when we dropped our utensils in the swimming
we dropped our utensils in the swimming
we dropped our utensils in the swimming pool me being me of course I’m the first
pool me being me of course I’m the first
pool me being me of course I’m the first one to jump in to grab them I swim to
one to jump in to grab them I swim to
one to jump in to grab them I swim to the bottom of the pool for it only to
the bottom of the pool for it only to
the bottom of the pool for it only to get deeper I continue swimming wondering
get deeper I continue swimming wondering
get deeper I continue swimming wondering where are where are these utensils I I
where are where are these utensils I I
where are where are these utensils I I try to grab them for it to just slip
try to grab them for it to just slip
try to grab them for it to just slip away from my fingers eventually I’m not
away from my fingers eventually I’m not
away from my fingers eventually I’m not swimming anymore I’m sinking
swimming anymore I’m sinking
swimming anymore I’m sinking I keep sinking to the bottom of this
I keep sinking to the bottom of this
I keep sinking to the bottom of this pool and I can’t escape the water
pool and I can’t escape the water
pool and I can’t escape the water surrounds me and I’m lost at the bottom
surrounds me and I’m lost at the bottom
surrounds me and I’m lost at the bottom one in five people in the United States
one in five people in the United States
one in five people in the United States experience mental illness which is about
experience mental illness which is about
experience mental illness which is about 20% of our population I am one of the
20% of our population I am one of the
20% of our population I am one of the five people so for you out there
five people so for you out there
five people so for you out there you can relax it’s not you I took the
you can relax it’s not you I took the
you can relax it’s not you I took the bullet for you guys it’s okay
bullet for you guys it’s okay
bullet for you guys it’s okay but basically how do I speak about
but basically how do I speak about
but basically how do I speak about vulnerability as a psych major I went
vulnerability as a psych major I went
vulnerability as a psych major I went into the study wondering what the heck
into the study wondering what the heck
into the study wondering what the heck is wrong with me and what can I do to
is wrong with me and what can I do to
is wrong with me and what can I do to get myself out of this there’s a quote
get myself out of this there’s a quote
get myself out of this there’s a quote in Mad Men that I would like to share
in Mad Men that I would like to share
in Mad Men that I would like to share with you guys by Ann Draper the only
with you guys by Ann Draper the only
with you guys by Ann Draper the only thing keeping us from being happy is the
thing keeping us from being happy is the
thing keeping us from being happy is the idea that we are alone
idea that we are alone
idea that we are alone who here has read the book the giving
who here has read the book the giving
who here has read the book the giving tree by shel silverstein ok great
tree by shel silverstein ok great
tree by shel silverstein ok great well if you guys don’t know it’s a story
well if you guys don’t know it’s a story
well if you guys don’t know it’s a story about this tree and this young boy you
about this tree and this young boy you
about this tree and this young boy you follow this young boy through various
follow this young boy through various
follow this young boy through various stages of his life as he grows up he
stages of his life as he grows up he
stages of his life as he grows up he experiences different things he no
experiences different things he no
experiences different things he no longer is happy with just playing on the
longer is happy with just playing on the
longer is happy with just playing on the tree here
tree here
tree here there’s different things to be happy he
there’s different things to be happy he
there’s different things to be happy he wants money he wants a nice house and
wants money he wants a nice house and
wants money he wants a nice house and you see him come to this tree and ask it
you see him come to this tree and ask it
you see him come to this tree and ask it I need this to be happy the tree loves
I need this to be happy the tree loves
I need this to be happy the tree loves this young boy so limb after limb this
this young boy so limb after limb this
this young boy so limb after limb this tree gives up parts of itself to this
tree gives up parts of itself to this
tree gives up parts of itself to this boy this boy leaves the tree and the
boy this boy leaves the tree and the
boy this boy leaves the tree and the tree experiences sadness not not until
tree experiences sadness not not until
tree experiences sadness not not until the boy comes back the tree is happy and
the boy comes back the tree is happy and
the boy comes back the tree is happy and willing to oblige with anything this boy
willing to oblige with anything this boy
willing to oblige with anything this boy wants eventually the boy gets old and
wants eventually the boy gets old and
wants eventually the boy gets old and withered and the tree is just a stump
withered and the tree is just a stump
withered and the tree is just a stump coming back the trees has tells the boy
coming back the trees has tells the boy
coming back the trees has tells the boy I have nothing left to give you I want
I have nothing left to give you I want
I have nothing left to give you I want you to be happy
you to be happy
you to be happy and the boy sits there and contemplates
and the boy sits there and contemplates
and the boy sits there and contemplates he says I don’t need anything I’m happy
he says I don’t need anything I’m happy
he says I don’t need anything I’m happy being here and the tree is content as
being here and the tree is content as
being here and the tree is content as they sit on their on their pillars lost
they sit on their on their pillars lost
they sit on their on their pillars lost limb and they’re both happy
limb and they’re both happy
limb and they’re both happy this is why about vacations such as
this is why about vacations such as
this is why about vacations such as Black Friday happens every year material
Black Friday happens every year material
Black Friday happens every year material things will not make you happy in the
things will not make you happy in the
things will not make you happy in the long run no matter how many things you
long run no matter how many things you
long run no matter how many things you get how many things you acquire the key
get how many things you acquire the key
get how many things you acquire the key to happiness is friendship there’s this
to happiness is friendship there’s this
to happiness is friendship there’s this study that I came across when I was
study that I came across when I was
study that I came across when I was researching my topic it’s it was first
researching my topic it’s it was first
researching my topic it’s it was first introduced as a podcast and it was a
introduced as a podcast and it was a
introduced as a podcast and it was a podcast that said how to fall in love
podcast that said how to fall in love
podcast that said how to fall in love with anyone it was first introduced as a
with anyone it was first introduced as a
with anyone it was first introduced as a research question that asks very various
research question that asks very various
research question that asks very various questions starting from if you can
questions starting from if you can
questions starting from if you can invite anyone to dinner who would it be
invite anyone to dinner who would it be
invite anyone to dinner who would it be to whose death in your family would you
to whose death in your family would you
to whose death in your family would you most be disturbed by and why after these
most be disturbed by and why after these
most be disturbed by and why after these series of questions get asked
series of questions get asked
series of questions get asked the two participants are required to
the two participants are required to
the two participants are required to look into each other’s eyes and just
look into each other’s eyes and just
look into each other’s eyes and just looked at each other for two to four
looked at each other for two to four
looked at each other for two to four minutes this isn’t a case of falling in
minutes this isn’t a case of falling in
minutes this isn’t a case of falling in love this is a study on vulnerability
love this is a study on vulnerability
love this is a study on vulnerability vulnerability Foster’s closeness
vulnerability Foster’s closeness
vulnerability Foster’s closeness vulnerability is it is the reason that
vulnerability is it is the reason that
vulnerability is it is the reason that we keep going vulnerability is the is
we keep going vulnerability is the is
we keep going vulnerability is the is the access point in which we find
the access point in which we find
the access point in which we find strengths we do not fall in love with
strengths we do not fall in love with
strengths we do not fall in love with people we fall into vulnerability where
people we fall into vulnerability where
people we fall into vulnerability where we trust them and this study concludes
we trust them and this study concludes
we trust them and this study concludes that closeness is the key to becoming in
that closeness is the key to becoming in
that closeness is the key to becoming in love with someone in fact in an age
love with someone in fact in an age
love with someone in fact in an age where we we can look up anyone about
where we we can look up anyone about
where we we can look up anyone about anything just on their Facebook it has
anything just on their Facebook it has
anything just on their Facebook it has become increasingly hard to become
become increasingly hard to become
become increasingly hard to become vulnerable with one another there has
vulnerable with one another there has
vulnerable with one another there has been recent studies that babies will be
been recent studies that babies will be
been recent studies that babies will be calmed by the voices of their mothers in
calmed by the voices of their mothers in
calmed by the voices of their mothers in contrast to that of another woman’s in
contrast to that of another woman’s in
contrast to that of another woman’s in the same tone and in the same voice they
the same tone and in the same voice they
the same tone and in the same voice they are calm knowing that there is someone
are calm knowing that there is someone
are calm knowing that there is someone out there that knows who they are I find
out there that knows who they are I find
out there that knows who they are I find that that is still applicable as an
that that is still applicable as an
that that is still applicable as an adult whenever you do anxiety producing
adult whenever you do anxiety producing
adult whenever you do anxiety producing activities such as taking tests like
activities such as taking tests like
activities such as taking tests like making plans walking into a forever 21
making plans walking into a forever 21
making plans walking into a forever 21 or giving a TED talk
or giving a TED talk
or giving a TED talk someone naturally looks for faces that
someone naturally looks for faces that
someone naturally looks for faces that they recognize in a study conducted
they recognize in a study conducted
they recognize in a study conducted Robert J Wilton Wilner gave a TED talk
Robert J Wilton Wilner gave a TED talk
Robert J Wilton Wilner gave a TED talk about this he was in fact the lead
about this he was in fact the lead
about this he was in fact the lead conductor of this research that surveyed
conductor of this research that surveyed
conductor of this research that surveyed 700 men over 72 years every two years
700 men over 72 years every two years
700 men over 72 years every two years they serve surveyed this men physically
they serve surveyed this men physically
they serve surveyed this men physically and mentally and how happy they were
and mentally and how happy they were
and mentally and how happy they were Robert concluded
Robert concluded
Robert concluded that the key to a long life is close
that the key to a long life is close
that the key to a long life is close friendship the key to a long happy life
friendship the key to a long happy life
friendship the key to a long happy life is in fact intimacy and vulnerability in
is in fact intimacy and vulnerability in
is in fact intimacy and vulnerability in a as a psych major if anyone’s ever
a as a psych major if anyone’s ever
a as a psych major if anyone’s ever taken an introductory psych class you
taken an introductory psych class you
taken an introductory psych class you know the debate over nature versus
know the debate over nature versus
know the debate over nature versus nurture if someone is to be raised on
nurture if someone is to be raised on
nurture if someone is to be raised on nature alone would they be able to
nature alone would they be able to
nature alone would they be able to thrive without nurture such as love
thrive without nurture such as love
thrive without nurture such as love affection would the child be able to
affection would the child be able to
affection would the child be able to grow up in a healthy environment in a
grow up in a healthy environment in a
grow up in a healthy environment in a study conducted by night in 1944 a
study conducted by night in 1944 a
study conducted by night in 1944 a researcher took 40 newborn children and
researcher took 40 newborn children and
researcher took 40 newborn children and separated them 20 of those babies were
separated them 20 of those babies were
separated them 20 of those babies were put into a sterile environment and they
put into a sterile environment and they
put into a sterile environment and they were given to characters that were
were given to characters that were
were given to characters that were specific specifically told to just
specific specifically told to just
specific specifically told to just change them feed them and bathe them
change them feed them and bathe them
change them feed them and bathe them they were instructed not to not to touch
they were instructed not to not to touch
they were instructed not to not to touch them or look at them or talk to them
them or look at them or talk to them
them or look at them or talk to them more than necessary in fact they were
more than necessary in fact they were
more than necessary in fact they were never supposed to talk to them this
never supposed to talk to them this
never supposed to talk to them this study was cancelled after four months
study was cancelled after four months
study was cancelled after four months half these babies had died the area was
half these babies had died the area was
half these babies had died the area was Cerro these these babies were
Cerro these these babies were
Cerro these these babies were physiologically healthy they did not die
physiologically healthy they did not die
physiologically healthy they did not die because they were ill before dying the
because they were ill before dying the
because they were ill before dying the babies had experienced they stopped
babies had experienced they stopped
babies had experienced they stopped talking they stopped asking for
talking they stopped asking for
talking they stopped asking for attention they said they didn’t even
attention they said they didn’t even
attention they said they didn’t even change their expression they had given
change their expression they had given
change their expression they had given up these babies just died this concludes
up these babies just died this concludes
up these babies just died this concludes that nurture is a vital source and vital
that nurture is a vital source and vital
that nurture is a vital source and vital need in the human experience
vulnerability is defined as a need to be
vulnerability is defined as a need to be seen it is seen as a process where one
seen it is seen as a process where one
seen it is seen as a process where one feels validated and
feels validated and
feels validated and interested and cared for researchers
interested and cared for researchers
interested and cared for researchers often debate that vulnerability and
often debate that vulnerability and
often debate that vulnerability and closeness is not a process but a shared
closeness is not a process but a shared
closeness is not a process but a shared experience between people other
experience between people other
experience between people other researchers claim it is mutual respect
researchers claim it is mutual respect
researchers claim it is mutual respect mutual understanding mutual interests
mutual understanding mutual interests
mutual understanding mutual interests and mutual activities shared amongst
and mutual activities shared amongst
and mutual activities shared amongst people which leads me to believe
people which leads me to believe
people which leads me to believe bonor ability is two things feeling
bonor ability is two things feeling
bonor ability is two things feeling close and acting close when a few weeks
close and acting close when a few weeks
close and acting close when a few weeks ago I wasn’t feeling too well I was
ago I wasn’t feeling too well I was
ago I wasn’t feeling too well I was pretty down I was free depressed and you
pretty down I was free depressed and you
pretty down I was free depressed and you know when you’re depressed people tend
know when you’re depressed people tend
know when you’re depressed people tend to say come on get it together like just
to say come on get it together like just
to say come on get it together like just do something you love like do something
do something you love like do something
do something you love like do something you’re good at
you’re good at
you’re good at I am a simple girl I’m not really good
I am a simple girl I’m not really good
I am a simple girl I’m not really good at anything I’m not like you know an
at anything I’m not like you know an
at anything I’m not like you know an artist or you know anything I’m pretty
artist or you know anything I’m pretty
artist or you know anything I’m pretty simple I’m not really and that this
simple I’m not really and that this
simple I’m not really and that this causes me more stress actually
causes me more stress actually
causes me more stress actually participating in these activities
participating in these activities
participating in these activities because I’m like mad I’m not the best at
because I’m like mad I’m not the best at
because I’m like mad I’m not the best at this this sucks
this this sucks
this this sucks but two things I really love doing is
but two things I really love doing is
but two things I really love doing is going to LA and making people smile so I
going to LA and making people smile so I
going to LA and making people smile so I went downtown I went to the flower
went downtown I went to the flower
went downtown I went to the flower district got two bouquets of flowers and
district got two bouquets of flowers and
district got two bouquets of flowers and I started handing them out I would get
I started handing them out I would get
I started handing them out I would get reactions ranging from oh my god you’re
reactions ranging from oh my god you’re
reactions ranging from oh my god you’re so nice too I’m too cool for that
so nice too I’m too cool for that
so nice too I’m too cool for that flowers ill but they would they would
flowers ill but they would they would
flowers ill but they would they would take the flowers nonetheless so who’s
take the flowers nonetheless so who’s
take the flowers nonetheless so who’s lying in now but basically one guy that
lying in now but basically one guy that
lying in now but basically one guy that just stuck in my mind was this bus
just stuck in my mind was this bus
just stuck in my mind was this bus driver I ran on the bus and I handed him
driver I ran on the bus and I handed him
driver I ran on the bus and I handed him the flower for a second we locked eyes
the flower for a second we locked eyes
the flower for a second we locked eyes and I saw the light in his eyes shine
and I saw the light in his eyes shine
and I saw the light in his eyes shine for a moment I fell in love with this
for a moment I fell in love with this
for a moment I fell in love with this man it wasn’t a sexual or romantic love
man it wasn’t a sexual or romantic love
man it wasn’t a sexual or romantic love but a love that
but a love that
but a love that and I see you I know you are here with
and I see you I know you are here with
and I see you I know you are here with me and I am NOT alone we stood there for
me and I am NOT alone we stood there for
me and I am NOT alone we stood there for a few seconds those seconds felt like
a few seconds those seconds felt like
a few seconds those seconds felt like eternity but I eventually eventually
eternity but I eventually eventually
eternity but I eventually eventually people started getting on and then I had
people started getting on and then I had
people started getting on and then I had to leave because I was not down to pay
to leave because I was not down to pay
to leave because I was not down to pay money and I didn’t know where this bus
money and I didn’t know where this bus
money and I didn’t know where this bus was going so I ran out but in my darkest
was going so I ran out but in my darkest
was going so I ran out but in my darkest moments I see that light and I remember
moments I see that light and I remember
moments I see that light and I remember I’m not alone one of the greatest
I’m not alone one of the greatest
I’m not alone one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received was from
compliments I’ve ever received was from
compliments I’ve ever received was from a close friend of mine told me Ariel you
a close friend of mine told me Ariel you
a close friend of mine told me Ariel you are the human equivalent of
are the human equivalent of
are the human equivalent of unconditional love and there I find my
unconditional love and there I find my
unconditional love and there I find my potential there I find my greatness
”
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