how many of you feel you’re a warrior raise your hand if you think you’re a
raise your hand if you think you’re a
raise your hand if you think you’re a warrior
warrior
warrior handful of you okay the other you the
handful of you okay the other you the
handful of you okay the other you the rest of you is probably probably
rest of you is probably probably
rest of you is probably probably thinking like lady you’re mad like why
thinking like lady you’re mad like why
thinking like lady you’re mad like why would you ask me that first of all the
would you ask me that first of all the
would you ask me that first of all the prerequisites to be a warrior obviously
prerequisites to be a warrior obviously
prerequisites to be a warrior obviously to be a badass maybe a military member
to be a badass maybe a military member
to be a badass maybe a military member maybe a professional athlete maybe a
maybe a professional athlete maybe a
maybe a professional athlete maybe a leader of a company but definitely not
leader of a company but definitely not
leader of a company but definitely not me I couldn’t be a warrior well I’m
me I couldn’t be a warrior well I’m
me I couldn’t be a warrior well I’m going to here I’m here to tell you
going to here I’m here to tell you
going to here I’m here to tell you you’re wrong being a warrior is not
you’re wrong being a warrior is not
you’re wrong being a warrior is not those things the definition of a warrior
those things the definition of a warrior
those things the definition of a warrior is taking ownership of yourself taking
is taking ownership of yourself taking
is taking ownership of yourself taking ownership of your life a adjective for
ownership of your life a adjective for
ownership of your life a adjective for warrior is resilient a resilient person
warrior is resilient a resilient person
warrior is resilient a resilient person someone who’s adaptive to change can
someone who’s adaptive to change can
someone who’s adaptive to change can adapt to change so you see that’s a
adapt to change so you see that’s a
adapt to change so you see that’s a picture of me in my uniform a picture of
picture of me in my uniform a picture of
picture of me in my uniform a picture of a wounded athlete I work with in the
a wounded athlete I work with in the
a wounded athlete I work with in the middle the friend of mine they’re on the
middle the friend of mine they’re on the
middle the friend of mine they’re on the your guys’s right but what they look
your guys’s right but what they look
your guys’s right but what they look like and what they do doesn’t make them
like and what they do doesn’t make them
like and what they do doesn’t make them a warrior what makes them a warrior is
a warrior what makes them a warrior is
a warrior what makes them a warrior is how they’ve taken ownership of their
how they’ve taken ownership of their
how they’ve taken ownership of their life how we take an ownership of our
life how we take an ownership of our
life how we take an ownership of our life and who we are as humans so
what I want to get into you is my story
what I want to get into you is my story here I want to take you back about 12
here I want to take you back about 12
here I want to take you back about 12 years so 12 years ago I was 24 years old
years so 12 years ago I was 24 years old
years so 12 years ago I was 24 years old and this is about 10 to 12 years ago I
and this is about 10 to 12 years ago I
and this is about 10 to 12 years ago I was stationed in Fallujah Iraq and I was
was stationed in Fallujah Iraq and I was
was stationed in Fallujah Iraq and I was the first lieutenant in the Marine Corps
the first lieutenant in the Marine Corps
the first lieutenant in the Marine Corps it was very hot and it was a hot zone we
it was very hot and it was a hot zone we
it was very hot and it was a hot zone we were it was in 2005 and it was during
were it was in 2005 and it was during
were it was in 2005 and it was during the first Iraqi election and my job as
the first Iraqi election and my job as
the first Iraqi election and my job as the first lieutenant in the Marine Corps
the first lieutenant in the Marine Corps
the first lieutenant in the Marine Corps was to I was a platoon commander so I I
was to I was a platoon commander so I I
was to I was a platoon commander so I I was in charge of 50-plus Marines most of
was in charge of 50-plus Marines most of
was in charge of 50-plus Marines most of the mail there’s three women in my
the mail there’s three women in my
the mail there’s three women in my platoon my job out there was to run
platoon my job out there was to run
platoon my job out there was to run supplies to forward operating bases
supplies to forward operating bases
supplies to forward operating bases around Fallujah army marine Navy Delta
around Fallujah army marine Navy Delta
around Fallujah army marine Navy Delta Force the works so my job was running
Force the works so my job was running
Force the works so my job was running was running supplies as well as finding
was running supplies as well as finding
was running supplies as well as finding landmines through engineers so when we’d
landmines through engineers so when we’d
landmines through engineers so when we’d find a landmine we’d call him the
find a landmine we’d call him the
find a landmine we’d call him the explosive ordnance disposal unit to help
explosive ordnance disposal unit to help
explosive ordnance disposal unit to help us out the other part of my job was I
us out the other part of my job was I
us out the other part of my job was I was a court for female insurgents so
was a court for female insurgents so
was a court for female insurgents so because I was about twice as large as
because I was about twice as large as
because I was about twice as large as most of the female Iraqis and when they
most of the female Iraqis and when they
most of the female Iraqis and when they capture a cell if there was a couple
capture a cell if there was a couple
capture a cell if there was a couple woman in that cell I would be in charge
woman in that cell I would be in charge
woman in that cell I would be in charge of taking them back to their village so
of taking them back to their village so
of taking them back to their village so that was my night job and then I had a
that was my night job and then I had a
that was my night job and then I had a day job running convoys and sometimes
day job running convoys and sometimes
day job running convoys and sometimes that would turn in tonight so I was so
that would turn in tonight so I was so
that would turn in tonight so I was so very very intense time but very awesome
very very intense time but very awesome
very very intense time but very awesome I was a woman in combat before women
I was a woman in combat before women
I was a woman in combat before women were even acknowledged to be in combat
were even acknowledged to be in combat
were even acknowledged to be in combat by Congress but I refuse to sit on the
by Congress but I refuse to sit on the
by Congress but I refuse to sit on the sidelines
sidelines
sidelines I really wasn’t supposed to be out of
I really wasn’t supposed to be out of
I really wasn’t supposed to be out of the wire but I refuse to sit on the
the wire but I refuse to sit on the
the wire but I refuse to sit on the sidelines it was one night the night
sidelines it was one night the night
sidelines it was one night the night before the Iraq first Iraqi democratic
before the Iraq first Iraqi democratic
before the Iraq first Iraqi democratic election in 2005 which is right before
election in 2005 which is right before
election in 2005 which is right before Thanksgiving for us that I’m getting
Thanksgiving for us that I’m getting
Thanksgiving for us that I’m getting ready for a very large convoy
ready for a very large convoy
ready for a very large convoy I have over 100 Marines in my command
I have over 100 Marines in my command
I have over 100 Marines in my command now my platoon plus a couple others so
now my platoon plus a couple others so
now my platoon plus a couple others so Marines I hadn’t worked with and our job
Marines I hadn’t worked with and our job
Marines I hadn’t worked with and our job was to go run jersey barriers around
was to go run jersey barriers around
was to go run jersey barriers around Fallujah city for the first rocky
Fallujah city for the first rocky
Fallujah city for the first rocky election and around Fallujah but
election and around Fallujah but
election and around Fallujah but Fallujah was kind of a dump at that time
Fallujah was kind of a dump at that time
Fallujah was kind of a dump at that time like the roads were scattered with trash
like the roads were scattered with trash
like the roads were scattered with trash me it was a war zone so the likelihood
me it was a war zone so the likelihood
me it was a war zone so the likelihood of coming across land mines or IEDs was
of coming across land mines or IEDs was
of coming across land mines or IEDs was high but it was at night so a little
high but it was at night so a little
high but it was at night so a little more scary very intense I was scared but
more scary very intense I was scared but
more scary very intense I was scared but I didn’t show it I couldn’t show it I
I didn’t show it I couldn’t show it I
I didn’t show it I couldn’t show it I know all the Marines were probably a
know all the Marines were probably a
know all the Marines were probably a little scared to uh getting ready for
little scared to uh getting ready for
little scared to uh getting ready for this I to give a big op order that we
this I to give a big op order that we
this I to give a big op order that we give out before any convoy and the OP
give out before any convoy and the OP
give out before any convoy and the OP order lasted about a half hour because
order lasted about a half hour because
order lasted about a half hour because you have to go through all your
you have to go through all your
you have to go through all your accountability checks and I think I
accountability checks and I think I
accountability checks and I think I probably said the f-bomb 40 times when
probably said the f-bomb 40 times when
probably said the f-bomb 40 times when you’re talking to a bunch of 18 year old
you’re talking to a bunch of 18 year old
you’re talking to a bunch of 18 year old to 22 year old male Marines and some
to 22 year old male Marines and some
to 22 year old male Marines and some females you kind of have to use the
females you kind of have to use the
females you kind of have to use the language that they use so accentuated my
language that they use so accentuated my
language that they use so accentuated my my um my thoughts so that night though
my um my thoughts so that night though
my um my thoughts so that night though the irony of what what was happening to
the irony of what what was happening to
the irony of what what was happening to me was it professionally I felt on point
me was it professionally I felt on point
me was it professionally I felt on point I felt like a badass I was good to go I
I felt like a badass I was good to go I
I felt like a badass I was good to go I was an A+ Marine I could do no wrong I
was an A+ Marine I could do no wrong I
was an A+ Marine I could do no wrong I was ready for more missions like this
was ready for more missions like this
was ready for more missions like this but on the inside I was struggling
but on the inside I was struggling
but on the inside I was struggling pretty hard I was 24 years old and right
pretty hard I was 24 years old and right
pretty hard I was 24 years old and right before I had gone out to do the soft
before I had gone out to do the soft
before I had gone out to do the soft border and grant ready for this night
border and grant ready for this night
border and grant ready for this night mission I had thrown up multiple times
mission I had thrown up multiple times
mission I had thrown up multiple times self-induced and this has been a problem
self-induced and this has been a problem
self-induced and this has been a problem this whole entire deployment ever since
this whole entire deployment ever since
this whole entire deployment ever since I actually entered the Marine Corps but
I actually entered the Marine Corps but
I actually entered the Marine Corps but it was getting a little bit worse and
it was getting a little bit worse and
it was getting a little bit worse and 50% of my brain that night I couldn’t
50% of my brain that night I couldn’t
50% of my brain that night I couldn’t stop thinking about the next time I
stop thinking about the next time I
stop thinking about the next time I would self induce vomiting or when I
would self induce vomiting or when I
would self induce vomiting or when I could exercise the food I’d ate away and
could exercise the food I’d ate away and
could exercise the food I’d ate away and then 50% of my brain was on the mission
then 50% of my brain was on the mission
then 50% of my brain was on the mission you see the irony in that I’m there in
you see the irony in that I’m there in
you see the irony in that I’m there in battle I should be focused 100% on this
battle I should be focused 100% on this
battle I should be focused 100% on this mission but all I could fifty percent of
mission but all I could fifty percent of
mission but all I could fifty percent of my brain was focused on this addiction
my brain was focused on this addiction
my brain was focused on this addiction that had been created and it was that
that had been created and it was that
that had been created and it was that night it was kind of a come-to-jesus
night it was kind of a come-to-jesus
night it was kind of a come-to-jesus moment that I had that I was not okay
moment that I had that I was not okay
moment that I had that I was not okay this food issue that I tried to brush
this food issue that I tried to brush
this food issue that I tried to brush off because I didn’t take it seriously
off because I didn’t take it seriously
off because I didn’t take it seriously was was a problem I may I could hurt
was was a problem I may I could hurt
was was a problem I may I could hurt somebody if I wasn’t completely focused
somebody if I wasn’t completely focused
somebody if I wasn’t completely focused I could hurt somebody or I could hurt
I could hurt somebody or I could hurt
I could hurt somebody or I could hurt myself and I have people that love me
myself and I have people that love me
myself and I have people that love me and that rely on me and I I can’t
and that rely on me and I I can’t
and that rely on me and I I can’t this food issue whatever it is and I
this food issue whatever it is and I
this food issue whatever it is and I didn’t I didn’t want to acknowledge it
didn’t I didn’t want to acknowledge it
didn’t I didn’t want to acknowledge it was an eating disorder yet but this food
was an eating disorder yet but this food
was an eating disorder yet but this food issue that I had in this exercise
issue that I had in this exercise
issue that I had in this exercise addiction I didn’t I knew it was a
addiction I didn’t I knew it was a
addiction I didn’t I knew it was a problem and it was much deeper than just
problem and it was much deeper than just
problem and it was much deeper than just a food issue or an exercise issue it ran
a food issue or an exercise issue it ran
a food issue or an exercise issue it ran much deeper than that the stem of it
much deeper than that the stem of it
much deeper than that the stem of it what I learned later on comes from the
what I learned later on comes from the
what I learned later on comes from the soul you your lack of belief in yourself
soul you your lack of belief in yourself
soul you your lack of belief in yourself and Here I am on paper I could do no
and Here I am on paper I could do no
and Here I am on paper I could do no wrong I feel like a total badass so that
wrong I feel like a total badass so that
wrong I feel like a total badass so that night after eight hours of running
night after eight hours of running
night after eight hours of running jersey barriers around Fallujah city
jersey barriers around Fallujah city
jersey barriers around Fallujah city having to stop twice to call an
having to stop twice to call an
having to stop twice to call an explosive ordnance disposal unit that
explosive ordnance disposal unit that
explosive ordnance disposal unit that next morning I walked myself into my
next morning I walked myself into my
next morning I walked myself into my company commanders office and I was like
company commanders office and I was like
company commanders office and I was like sir I need help I have this issue with
sir I need help I have this issue with
sir I need help I have this issue with binging and purging and I think I need
binging and purging and I think I need
binging and purging and I think I need some serious help for it and my company
some serious help for it and my company
some serious help for it and my company commander is many individuals who don’t
commander is many individuals who don’t
commander is many individuals who don’t understand what it eating disorder is to
understand what it eating disorder is to
understand what it eating disorder is to include myself asked well what does he
include myself asked well what does he
include myself asked well what does he have a hard time going to the chow hall
have a hard time going to the chow hall
have a hard time going to the chow hall eating brownies well no sir like I I use
eating brownies well no sir like I I use
eating brownies well no sir like I I use it as a coping mechanism much like an
it as a coping mechanism much like an
it as a coping mechanism much like an alcoholic uses alcohol or drug addict
alcoholic uses alcohol or drug addict
alcoholic uses alcohol or drug addict seeks their drug of choice I think it’s
seeks their drug of choice I think it’s
seeks their drug of choice I think it’s it’s a problem like it’s something that
it’s a problem like it’s something that
it’s a problem like it’s something that I crave and I don’t and it’s not healthy
I crave and I don’t and it’s not healthy
I crave and I don’t and it’s not healthy and I need actual
and I need actual
and I need actual national help and so at that point so my
national help and so at that point so my
national help and so at that point so my company commander then went ahead and
company commander then went ahead and
company commander then went ahead and asked me do you want a a desk job we can
asked me do you want a a desk job we can
asked me do you want a a desk job we can send it to cottom and do a desk job or
send it to cottom and do a desk job or
send it to cottom and do a desk job or Ramadi and do a desk job like no I I
Ramadi and do a desk job like no I I
Ramadi and do a desk job like no I I don’t a desk job I want actually
don’t a desk job I want actually
don’t a desk job I want actually professional help like I don’t think
professional help like I don’t think
professional help like I don’t think just continuing to work in this
just continuing to work in this
just continuing to work in this environment is healthy for me I don’t
environment is healthy for me I don’t
environment is healthy for me I don’t want to hurt someone else I was at war
want to hurt someone else I was at war
want to hurt someone else I was at war with myself and I was already at war and
with myself and I was already at war and
with myself and I was already at war and Iraq too I didn’t need both wars and I
Iraq too I didn’t need both wars and I
Iraq too I didn’t need both wars and I don’t believe the Marines deserve 50% of
don’t believe the Marines deserve 50% of
don’t believe the Marines deserve 50% of my brain when we’re out on him a very
my brain when we’re out on him a very
my brain when we’re out on him a very intense mission so from that point on it
intense mission so from that point on it
intense mission so from that point on it was at that moment and I didn’t realize
was at that moment and I didn’t realize
was at that moment and I didn’t realize this until later but that was the moment
this until later but that was the moment
this until later but that was the moment I became a warrior I took ownership of
I became a warrior I took ownership of
I became a warrior I took ownership of my life I stuck up for myself at that
my life I stuck up for myself at that
my life I stuck up for myself at that moment though was when my battle really
moment though was when my battle really
moment though was when my battle really began so the irony is that I was in Iraq
began so the irony is that I was in Iraq
began so the irony is that I was in Iraq but the battle that was the most
but the battle that was the most
but the battle that was the most difficult was the one that I was about
difficult was the one that I was about
difficult was the one that I was about to face which was coming home being
to face which was coming home being
to face which was coming home being medevacked home and being looked at as a
medevacked home and being looked at as a
medevacked home and being looked at as a failure one moment could do no wrong one
failure one moment could do no wrong one
failure one moment could do no wrong one moment of failure one moment of
moment of failure one moment of
moment of failure one moment of disappointment a disappointment with an
disappointment a disappointment with an
disappointment a disappointment with an eating issue I didn’t understand eating
eating issue I didn’t understand eating
eating issue I didn’t understand eating disorders very well I just knew I had a
disorders very well I just knew I had a
disorders very well I just knew I had a problem and you this food issue I had
problem and you this food issue I had
problem and you this food issue I had was it appeared like a good addiction
was it appeared like a good addiction
was it appeared like a good addiction just like an alcoholic and the military
just like an alcoholic and the military
just like an alcoholic and the military knows what to do with alcoholics when it
knows what to do with alcoholics when it
knows what to do with alcoholics when it comes to an eating disorder or something
comes to an eating disorder or something
comes to an eating disorder or something different they don’t
different they don’t
different they don’t it was hard facing the Marine Corps this
it was hard facing the Marine Corps this
it was hard facing the Marine Corps this this organization I loved and I gave a
this organization I loved and I gave a
this organization I loved and I gave a lot of my time too it was hard facing
lot of my time too it was hard facing
lot of my time too it was hard facing some of my family members who did also
some of my family members who did also
some of my family members who did also didn’t understand facing society right a
didn’t understand facing society right a
didn’t understand facing society right a common comment a comment I would get is
common comment a comment I would get is
common comment a comment I would get is have a hard time going out to eat or
have a hard time going out to eat or
have a hard time going out to eat or what kind of foods are you struggling
what kind of foods are you struggling
what kind of foods are you struggling with it’s not about the food so it was
with it’s not about the food so it was
with it’s not about the food so it was it was definitely a long road of
it was definitely a long road of
it was definitely a long road of recovery and I’m still in recovery but
recovery and I’m still in recovery but
recovery and I’m still in recovery but again
again
again it was that moment of asking for help
it was that moment of asking for help
it was that moment of asking for help when my warrior journey happened I did
when my warrior journey happened I did
when my warrior journey happened I did all of these badass things but what
all of these badass things but what
all of these badass things but what mattered is that I was finally taking
mattered is that I was finally taking
mattered is that I was finally taking ownership for my life and my health
ownership for my life and my health
ownership for my life and my health because my health mattered and so did my
because my health mattered and so did my
because my health mattered and so did my Marines so the first medical
Marines so the first medical
Marines so the first medical professional I saw coming back from Iraq
professional I saw coming back from Iraq
professional I saw coming back from Iraq was a psychiatrist who fully admitted
was a psychiatrist who fully admitted
was a psychiatrist who fully admitted like hey I don’t really know much about
like hey I don’t really know much about
like hey I don’t really know much about eating disorders or what you’re dealing
eating disorders or what you’re dealing
eating disorders or what you’re dealing with but it seems like you have an issue
with but it seems like you have an issue
with but it seems like you have an issue with taking you know loving yourself and
with taking you know loving yourself and
with taking you know loving yourself and what I’d recommend is that you get
what I’d recommend is that you get
what I’d recommend is that you get pregnant because you’ll love your body
pregnant because you’ll love your body
pregnant because you’ll love your body then and yourself okay well I have a
then and yourself okay well I have a
then and yourself okay well I have a boyfriend that’s also not really healthy
boyfriend that’s also not really healthy
boyfriend that’s also not really healthy we’re not getting married and uh even if
we’re not getting married and uh even if
we’re not getting married and uh even if we were like not ready to have a kid and
we were like not ready to have a kid and
we were like not ready to have a kid and I don’t believe that’s the way I’m gonna
I don’t believe that’s the way I’m gonna
I don’t believe that’s the way I’m gonna learn to love myself and what does that
learn to love myself and what does that
learn to love myself and what does that even mean
even mean
even mean we’ve never been told like hey you need
we’ve never been told like hey you need
we’ve never been told like hey you need to love yourself be gentle with yourself
to love yourself be gentle with yourself
to love yourself be gentle with yourself I’ve been told that so many times got it
I’ve been told that so many times got it
I’ve been told that so many times got it okay what does that even mean what is
okay what does that even mean what is
okay what does that even mean what is the action of loving yourself and being
the action of loving yourself and being
the action of loving yourself and being gentle with yourself mean so over the
gentle with yourself mean so over the
gentle with yourself mean so over the last 10 to 12 years I’ve developed these
last 10 to 12 years I’ve developed these
last 10 to 12 years I’ve developed these principles in my life that have happened
principles in my life that have happened
principles in my life that have happened from mentorship and just trial and error
from mentorship and just trial and error
from mentorship and just trial and error and realizing that the Western medicine
and realizing that the Western medicine
and realizing that the Western medicine model of mental health care and even
model of mental health care and even
model of mental health care and even physical healthcare wasn’t for me so I
physical healthcare wasn’t for me so I
physical healthcare wasn’t for me so I was going to find my own way of keeping
was going to find my own way of keeping
was going to find my own way of keeping myself healthy so the first concept that
myself healthy so the first concept that
myself healthy so the first concept that came about right when I got out of the
came about right when I got out of the
came about right when I got out of the Marine Corps was lead you first so this
Marine Corps was lead you first so this
Marine Corps was lead you first so this is my father who’s sitting looking at a
is my father who’s sitting looking at a
is my father who’s sitting looking at a lake in Pennsylvania and the lead you
lake in Pennsylvania and the lead you
lake in Pennsylvania and the lead you first concept so these four principles
first concept so these four principles
first concept so these four principles I’m gonna talk about the acronym for
I’m gonna talk about the acronym for
I’m gonna talk about the acronym for them is love so LOV II so the first one
them is love so LOV II so the first one
them is love so LOV II so the first one is lead you first my father would always
is lead you first my father would always
is lead you first my father would always tell me like Theresa you you can’t
tell me like Theresa you you can’t
tell me like Theresa you you can’t really effectively take care of someone
really effectively take care of someone
really effectively take care of someone else unless you can take care of
else unless you can take care of
else unless you can take care of yourself or he’s ever heard that or you
yourself or he’s ever heard that or you
yourself or he’s ever heard that or you can’t truly give to the relationship and
can’t truly give to the relationship and
can’t truly give to the relationship and tell you can give to yourself I have an
tell you can give to yourself I have an
tell you can give to yourself I have an 8 week old newborn
8 week old newborn
8 week old newborn I can’t effectively love him take care
I can’t effectively love him take care
I can’t effectively love him take care of him unless I’m taking care of myself
of him unless I’m taking care of myself
of him unless I’m taking care of myself as a mom too and I wanted to be a damn
as a mom too and I wanted to be a damn
as a mom too and I wanted to be a damn good mom so I waited for a while so this
good mom so I waited for a while so this
good mom so I waited for a while so this lead you first you know is is
lead you first you know is is
lead you first you know is is technically can be accumulated into self
technically can be accumulated into self
technically can be accumulated into self care how do you take care of yourself
care how do you take care of yourself
care how do you take care of yourself every day what kind of maintenance on
every day what kind of maintenance on
every day what kind of maintenance on your body do you do what kind of
your body do you do what kind of
your body do you do what kind of maintenance on your mind do you do every
maintenance on your mind do you do every
maintenance on your mind do you do every day to keep you healthy for those that
day to keep you healthy for those that
day to keep you healthy for those that you love your family the people that you
you love your family the people that you
you love your family the people that you teach people around you so I think it’s
teach people around you so I think it’s
teach people around you so I think it’s important it’s not a selfish thing to
important it’s not a selfish thing to
important it’s not a selfish thing to put yourself first and give yourself
put yourself first and give yourself
put yourself first and give yourself some healthy time each day the second
some healthy time each day the second
some healthy time each day the second saying the second principle is open open
saying the second principle is open open
saying the second principle is open open to change so for me I had to change the
to change so for me I had to change the
to change so for me I had to change the trajectory of my life so once I asked
trajectory of my life so once I asked
trajectory of my life so once I asked for help right I went from this
for help right I went from this
for help right I went from this lieutenant that could do no wrong – all
lieutenant that could do no wrong – all
lieutenant that could do no wrong – all right we got a you’re going to get out
right we got a you’re going to get out
right we got a you’re going to get out we’re going to discharge you like we
we’re going to discharge you like we
we’re going to discharge you like we don’t know what to do with you I had to
don’t know what to do with you I had to
don’t know what to do with you I had to change no matter how I felt about that
change no matter how I felt about that
change no matter how I felt about that decision right I did I wasn’t gonna be a
decision right I did I wasn’t gonna be a
decision right I did I wasn’t gonna be a general in the Marine Corps anymore
general in the Marine Corps anymore
general in the Marine Corps anymore that’s what I wanted to do like I am now
that’s what I wanted to do like I am now
that’s what I wanted to do like I am now having to find any path and if I hadn’t
having to find any path and if I hadn’t
having to find any path and if I hadn’t chosen or been open to change I would
chosen or been open to change I would
chosen or been open to change I would not be here standing it here in front of
not be here standing it here in front of
not be here standing it here in front of you so mentally physically I had to
you so mentally physically I had to
you so mentally physically I had to change so mentally I started to do
change so mentally I started to do
change so mentally I started to do breath work and meditation I had to seek
breath work and meditation I had to seek
breath work and meditation I had to seek out help mental health help which is a
out help mental health help which is a
out help mental health help which is a strength it’s not a weakness just like
strength it’s not a weakness just like
strength it’s not a weakness just like you do with physical fitness so seeking
you do with physical fitness so seeking
you do with physical fitness so seeking a trainer someone who knows about the
a trainer someone who knows about the
a trainer someone who knows about the body it’s a strength not a weakness but
body it’s a strength not a weakness but
body it’s a strength not a weakness but I didn’t I had to cultivate that
I didn’t I had to cultivate that
I didn’t I had to cultivate that mentality over time I did change my
mentality over time I did change my
mentality over time I did change my mindset I just slowed down and asked
mindset I just slowed down and asked
mindset I just slowed down and asked myself what do I really want first is
myself what do I really want first is
myself what do I really want first is what does my dad want one of my brothers
what does my dad want one of my brothers
what does my dad want one of my brothers want what does society want what looks
want what does society want what looks
want what does society want what looks sexy like what do I want in my life and
sexy like what do I want in my life and
sexy like what do I want in my life and I realized I loved fitness and medicine
I realized I loved fitness and medicine
I realized I loved fitness and medicine I wanted
I wanted
I wanted to be that bridge between the two worlds
to be that bridge between the two worlds
to be that bridge between the two worlds so hence I became a doctor physical
so hence I became a doctor physical
so hence I became a doctor physical therapy but I do not do traditional work
therapy but I do not do traditional work
therapy but I do not do traditional work in the physical therapy world and I
in the physical therapy world and I
in the physical therapy world and I would never have thought ten years ago
would never have thought ten years ago
would never have thought ten years ago twelve years ago when I left Iraq to now
twelve years ago when I left Iraq to now
twelve years ago when I left Iraq to now I’m a physical therapist which took me
I’m a physical therapist which took me
I’m a physical therapist which took me five extra years of school because I did
five extra years of school because I did
five extra years of school because I did not do anything in undergrad that
not do anything in undergrad that
not do anything in undergrad that remotely looked like science or medicine
remotely looked like science or medicine
remotely looked like science or medicine and but to this day right now I’m doing
and but to this day right now I’m doing
and but to this day right now I’m doing a digital rehabilitation and more work
a digital rehabilitation and more work
a digital rehabilitation and more work online with people to help people across
online with people to help people across
online with people to help people across the country across the world and that’s
the country across the world and that’s
the country across the world and that’s very freeing for me I realized from this
very freeing for me I realized from this
very freeing for me I realized from this slowing down that freedom and
slowing down that freedom and
slowing down that freedom and flexibility where values that I wanted
flexibility where values that I wanted
flexibility where values that I wanted in my life and needed and so doing
in my life and needed and so doing
in my life and needed and so doing one-on-one care all the time that wasn’t
one-on-one care all the time that wasn’t
one-on-one care all the time that wasn’t it was it’s nice but it’s not freeing
it was it’s nice but it’s not freeing
it was it’s nice but it’s not freeing for me I wanted to use my skill set and
for me I wanted to use my skill set and
for me I wanted to use my skill set and my experience to treat people across the
my experience to treat people across the
my experience to treat people across the nation and I would never have thought 12
nation and I would never have thought 12
nation and I would never have thought 12 years ago that that was possible but I
years ago that that was possible but I
years ago that that was possible but I was open to the possibility of changing
was open to the possibility of changing
was open to the possibility of changing my life but I had to slow down so the
my life but I had to slow down so the
my life but I had to slow down so the third principle is cultivating
third principle is cultivating
third principle is cultivating vulnerability so many of you may have
vulnerability so many of you may have
vulnerability so many of you may have heard the brené Brown talk on
heard the brené Brown talk on
heard the brené Brown talk on vulnerability but vulnerability has been
vulnerability but vulnerability has been
vulnerability but vulnerability has been very a very big part of me being able to
very a very big part of me being able to
very a very big part of me being able to be up here and share my story I could
be up here and share my story I could
be up here and share my story I could send up here and talk about mobility and
send up here and talk about mobility and
send up here and talk about mobility and movement and stability and all that cool
movement and stability and all that cool
movement and stability and all that cool stuff but I wanted to share something a
stuff but I wanted to share something a
stuff but I wanted to share something a little bit deeper than that why I do
little bit deeper than that why I do
little bit deeper than that why I do those things four years ago I started a
those things four years ago I started a
those things four years ago I started a adaptive strength class which is for
adaptive strength class which is for
adaptive strength class which is for wounded veterans or those with permanent
wounded veterans or those with permanent
wounded veterans or those with permanent wounds so it just so happens sending
wounds so it just so happens sending
wounds so it just so happens sending goes a lot of veterans so I see a lot of
goes a lot of veterans so I see a lot of
goes a lot of veterans so I see a lot of marine and Navy individuals who have
marine and Navy individuals who have
marine and Navy individuals who have mild traumatic brain injuries or missing
mild traumatic brain injuries or missing
mild traumatic brain injuries or missing limbs Salvage limbs emotional disorders
limbs Salvage limbs emotional disorders
limbs Salvage limbs emotional disorders such as addictions or have been sexually
such as addictions or have been sexually
such as addictions or have been sexually traumatized so they’ve come to my class
traumatized so they’ve come to my class
traumatized so they’ve come to my class and been able to share our story in the
and been able to share our story in the
and been able to share our story in the beginning a little bit about themselves
beginning a little bit about themselves
beginning a little bit about themselves and then we train and we sweat together
and then we train and we sweat together
and then we train and we sweat together we build each other up we work on
we build each other up we work on
we build each other up we work on movement you
movement you
movement you a lot of times once you go through rehab
a lot of times once you go through rehab
a lot of times once you go through rehab it’s like what’s next how do I like do
it’s like what’s next how do I like do
it’s like what’s next how do I like do the things I love to do if I want to
the things I love to do if I want to
the things I love to do if I want to CrossFit if I want to do a Spartan Race
CrossFit if I want to do a Spartan Race
CrossFit if I want to do a Spartan Race like my physical therapist or strength
like my physical therapist or strength
like my physical therapist or strength coach didn’t know how to help me get
coach didn’t know how to help me get
coach didn’t know how to help me get there that’s what that class was for I
there that’s what that class was for I
there that’s what that class was for I was like all right let’s get you strong
was like all right let’s get you strong
was like all right let’s get you strong let’s teach you how to move in an
let’s teach you how to move in an
let’s teach you how to move in an environment that makes you excited and
environment that makes you excited and
environment that makes you excited and gets you sweating together and but I
gets you sweating together and but I
gets you sweating together and but I still didn’t share my story until one of
still didn’t share my story until one of
still didn’t share my story until one of the athletes who is a Special Operations
the athletes who is a Special Operations
the athletes who is a Special Operations and radio guy came to see me in my
and radio guy came to see me in my
and radio guy came to see me in my office my private practice he’s a Navy
office my private practice he’s a Navy
office my private practice he’s a Navy SEAL and we spent an hour mostly talking
SEAL and we spent an hour mostly talking
SEAL and we spent an hour mostly talking he was struggling with alcoholism he was
he was struggling with alcoholism he was
he was struggling with alcoholism he was struggling with where it where’s his
struggling with where it where’s his
struggling with where it where’s his tribe he couldn’t go back to meet a Navy
tribe he couldn’t go back to meet a Navy
tribe he couldn’t go back to meet a Navy SEAL which he loved and he’s 26 years
SEAL which he loved and he’s 26 years
SEAL which he loved and he’s 26 years old what was he gonna do next
old what was he gonna do next
old what was he gonna do next he felt lost all he wanted to do is be a
he felt lost all he wanted to do is be a
he felt lost all he wanted to do is be a Navy SEAL and he did that and now he has
Navy SEAL and he did that and now he has
Navy SEAL and he did that and now he has a mild traumatic brain injury and he’s
a mild traumatic brain injury and he’s
a mild traumatic brain injury and he’s not allowed back on his team so what
not allowed back on his team so what
not allowed back on his team so what does he do next
does he do next
does he do next he was very inspired by the different
he was very inspired by the different
he was very inspired by the different approach I took to PT and so I was like
approach I took to PT and so I was like
approach I took to PT and so I was like well hey you want to become a physical
well hey you want to become a physical
well hey you want to become a physical therapist this is the route I’d
therapist this is the route I’d
therapist this is the route I’d recommend going it would be awesome
recommend going it would be awesome
recommend going it would be awesome but we need to find a new tribe for you
but we need to find a new tribe for you
but we need to find a new tribe for you and that’s kind of what adaptive
and that’s kind of what adaptive
and that’s kind of what adaptive strength ended up being for him but he
strength ended up being for him but he
strength ended up being for him but he struggled with alcoholism and I told him
struggled with alcoholism and I told him
struggled with alcoholism and I told him the first time I actually opened up to
the first time I actually opened up to
the first time I actually opened up to one of my athletes like hey I I
one of my athletes like hey I I
one of my athletes like hey I I struggled with an eating disorder which
struggled with an eating disorder which
struggled with an eating disorder which is much like what you you’re struggling
is much like what you you’re struggling
is much like what you you’re struggling with and it was hard I got out of the
with and it was hard I got out of the
with and it was hard I got out of the Marine Corps and I didn’t have my team
Marine Corps and I didn’t have my team
Marine Corps and I didn’t have my team anymore my platoon that was like my
anymore my platoon that was like my
anymore my platoon that was like my family and I had to find something
family and I had to find something
family and I had to find something different I had to change my life and I
different I had to change my life and I
different I had to change my life and I have no one holding my hand to do it so
have no one holding my hand to do it so
have no one holding my hand to do it so I’m here to be with you and hold your
I’m here to be with you and hold your
I’m here to be with you and hold your hand if you need it because I want to
hand if you need it because I want to
hand if you need it because I want to give people I wanted to give people they
give people I wanted to give people they
give people I wanted to give people they didn’t get but they’re not getting and
didn’t get but they’re not getting and
didn’t get but they’re not getting and and hopefully that that scenario for him
and hopefully that that scenario for him
and hopefully that that scenario for him he’s going to pay that forward as well
he’s going to pay that forward as well
he’s going to pay that forward as well but that was the first time I actually
but that was the first time I actually
but that was the first time I actually shared my story because I was
shared my story because I was
shared my story because I was embarrassed about having an eating
embarrassed about having an eating
embarrassed about having an eating disorder and I’m no longer embarrassed
disorder and I’m no longer embarrassed
disorder and I’m no longer embarrassed about it because I know that many many
about it because I know that many many
about it because I know that many many people struggle on the spectrum of
people struggle on the spectrum of
people struggle on the spectrum of addiction
addiction
addiction and struggle with mental health mental
and struggle with mental health mental
and struggle with mental health mental health shouldn’t be a stigma we should
health shouldn’t be a stigma we should
health shouldn’t be a stigma we should work on our mental health just like we
work on our mental health just like we
work on our mental health just like we work on our physical health but I had to
work on our physical health but I had to
work on our physical health but I had to be vulnerable create an enduring mindset
be vulnerable create an enduring mindset
be vulnerable create an enduring mindset this is the fourth principle of love
this is the fourth principle of love
this is the fourth principle of love loving yourself so that man on the left
loving yourself so that man on the left
loving yourself so that man on the left is my father not aerodynamic by any
is my father not aerodynamic by any
is my father not aerodynamic by any means okay six four two hundred forty
means okay six four two hundred forty
means okay six four two hundred forty pounds he’s a Catholic priest uh he was
pounds he’s a Catholic priest uh he was
pounds he’s a Catholic priest uh he was second vocation Catholic priests so I
second vocation Catholic priests so I
second vocation Catholic priests so I lost my mom when I was ten he loved
lost my mom when I was ten he loved
lost my mom when I was ten he loved doing hundred mile bike races loved them
doing hundred mile bike races loved them
doing hundred mile bike races loved them I don’t know why I am NOT an endurance
I don’t know why I am NOT an endurance
I don’t know why I am NOT an endurance person but he loved it so but he was the
person but he loved it so but he was the
person but he loved it so but he was the one that was like a voice in my ear an
one that was like a voice in my ear an
one that was like a voice in my ear an angel in my ear all the time like finish
angel in my ear all the time like finish
angel in my ear all the time like finish this do this going back to school is
this do this going back to school is
this do this going back to school is tough I dated guys that were like why
tough I dated guys that were like why
tough I dated guys that were like why would you went on to school like you’re
would you went on to school like you’re
would you went on to school like you’re thirty like you want to have kids uh not
thirty like you want to have kids uh not
thirty like you want to have kids uh not yet
yet
yet not ready no uh and my dad was just a
not ready no uh and my dad was just a
not ready no uh and my dad was just a voice in my ear like keep going get your
voice in my ear like keep going get your
voice in my ear like keep going get your degree like once you get your degree you
degree like once you get your degree you
degree like once you get your degree you can do many different things create your
can do many different things create your
can do many different things create your own path but just finish but it took
own path but just finish but it took
own path but just finish but it took time to get my degree it took time for
time to get my degree it took time for
time to get my degree it took time for me to change my mind to change my mind
me to change my mind to change my mind
me to change my mind to change my mind it took time for me to develop a strong
it took time for me to develop a strong
it took time for me to develop a strong meditative meditation practice but he
meditative meditation practice but he
meditative meditation practice but he was a strong voice in my ear this woman
was a strong voice in my ear this woman
was a strong voice in my ear this woman here on the right my friend Lisa MOFA a
here on the right my friend Lisa MOFA a
here on the right my friend Lisa MOFA a former marine lawyer diagnosed with
former marine lawyer diagnosed with
former marine lawyer diagnosed with adrenal cancer four years ago the moment
adrenal cancer four years ago the moment
adrenal cancer four years ago the moment she was diagnosed was not the moment her
she was diagnosed was not the moment her
she was diagnosed was not the moment her life ended for her it was when she’s
life ended for her it was when she’s
life ended for her it was when she’s just started to live for four years she
just started to live for four years she
just started to live for four years she battled this thing very rare cancer she
battled this thing very rare cancer she
battled this thing very rare cancer she didn’t give up she lived her life to the
didn’t give up she lived her life to the
didn’t give up she lived her life to the fullest she hung out with the right the
fullest she hung out with the right the
fullest she hung out with the right the people that loved her she did the things
people that loved her she did the things
people that loved her she did the things that she wanted to do she traveled
that she wanted to do she traveled
that she wanted to do she traveled everywhere
everywhere
everywhere she taught me so much good friend of
she taught me so much good friend of
she taught me so much good friend of mine a part of my adaptive strength
mine a part of my adaptive strength
mine a part of my adaptive strength class just passed away this last Friday
class just passed away this last Friday
class just passed away this last Friday an amazing woman and now guardian angel
an amazing woman and now guardian angel
an amazing woman and now guardian angel for many so the enduring mindset
for many so the enduring mindset
for many so the enduring mindset enduring mindset is key
enduring mindset is key
enduring mindset is key anybody can focus and change for a week
anybody can focus and change for a week
anybody can focus and change for a week – but what about years and years and
– but what about years and years and
– but what about years and years and years
years
years what about knowing what you want values
what about knowing what you want values
what about knowing what you want values you have in going after it and knowing
you have in going after it and knowing
you have in going after it and knowing that like starting a new business can
that like starting a new business can
that like starting a new business can take three years to even make money or
take three years to even make money or
take three years to even make money or five years to develop a following that
five years to develop a following that
five years to develop a following that you need to do whatever you want to do
you need to do whatever you want to do
you need to do whatever you want to do takes time so these four principles love
takes time so these four principles love
takes time so these four principles love are the actionable things that allow you
are the actionable things that allow you
are the actionable things that allow you to allow have allowed me to love myself
to allow have allowed me to love myself
to allow have allowed me to love myself and potentially can help you to they’ll
and potentially can help you to they’ll
and potentially can help you to they’ll lead you first open to change
lead you first open to change
lead you first open to change cultivate vulnerability in your life and
cultivate vulnerability in your life and
cultivate vulnerability in your life and create an enduring mindset so this is me
create an enduring mindset so this is me
create an enduring mindset so this is me looking at myself in the mirror very
looking at myself in the mirror very
looking at myself in the mirror very intensely what do I want take action
intensely what do I want take action
intensely what do I want take action towards love now the last question I
towards love now the last question I
towards love now the last question I have for you guys is who here thinks
have for you guys is who here thinks
have for you guys is who here thinks they’re a warrior or could have or could
they’re a warrior or could have or could
they’re a warrior or could have or could be one after listening to this okay good
be one after listening to this okay good
be one after listening to this okay good there’s more of you that’s good that’s
there’s more of you that’s good that’s
there’s more of you that’s good that’s very promising but you have to believe
very promising but you have to believe
very promising but you have to believe it right do you want to take ownership
it right do you want to take ownership
it right do you want to take ownership for your life can you take that first
for your life can you take that first
for your life can you take that first step forward of taking ownership of your
step forward of taking ownership of your
step forward of taking ownership of your life and you’re a freaking warrior so
life and you’re a freaking warrior so
life and you’re a freaking warrior so the miracle of all this is that for me I
the miracle of all this is that for me I
the miracle of all this is that for me I could change I could change my path I
could change I could change my path I
could change I could change my path I could change my mind I can literally
could change my mind I can literally
could change my mind I can literally physiologically change the way I wire my
physiologically change the way I wire my
physiologically change the way I wire my brain I can change my body I changed my
brain I can change my body I changed my
brain I can change my body I changed my trajectory and I’m still changing it I’m
trajectory and I’m still changing it I’m
trajectory and I’m still changing it I’m still tweaking it by no means have I
still tweaking it by no means have I
still tweaking it by no means have I arrived the madness for me would be not
arrived the madness for me would be not
arrived the madness for me would be not choosing to change thank you
”
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