they certainly do suck spent the next five years playing hide and go suck as
five years playing hide and go suck as
five years playing hide and go suck as her little vampire cabana boy
her little vampire cabana boy
her little vampire cabana boy welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’re
welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’re
welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10
counting down our picks for the top 10
counting down our picks for the top 10 worst vampire movies only the living can
worst vampire movies only the living can
worst vampire movies only the living can kill the dead for this list we’ve only
kill the dead for this list we’ve only
kill the dead for this list we’ve only picked feature films all of which are
picked feature films all of which are
picked feature films all of which are terrible and all of which involve
terrible and all of which involve
terrible and all of which involve vampires oh she would love to become a
vampires oh she would love to become a
vampires oh she would love to become a vampire as she practically brings it up
vampire as she practically brings it up
vampire as she practically brings it up Oh
Oh
Oh number 10 immortal yours also known as
number 10 immortal yours also known as
number 10 immortal yours also known as kiss of the vampire
kiss of the vampire
kiss of the vampire I’m morning vampire this straight-to-dvd
I’m morning vampire this straight-to-dvd
I’m morning vampire this straight-to-dvd cinematic disaster features a vampire
cinematic disaster features a vampire
cinematic disaster features a vampire tempted by sweet romance and the power
tempted by sweet romance and the power
tempted by sweet romance and the power of the Illuminati
of the Illuminati
of the Illuminati should give the Illuminati the
should give the Illuminati the
should give the Illuminati the immortality they so desperately seek out
immortality they so desperately seek out
immortality they so desperately seek out of staggering 111 minutes immortal yours
of staggering 111 minutes immortal yours
of staggering 111 minutes immortal yours challenges the patience of unsuspecting
challenges the patience of unsuspecting
challenges the patience of unsuspecting viewers especially with all the
viewers especially with all the
viewers especially with all the overacting and college-level production
overacting and college-level production
overacting and college-level production design we’re dealing with a nightmare
design we’re dealing with a nightmare
design we’re dealing with a nightmare vampires
vampires
vampires while the passionate love scenes remind
while the passionate love scenes remind
while the passionate love scenes remind us of 4 a.m. Cinemax skin flicks their
us of 4 a.m. Cinemax skin flicks their
us of 4 a.m. Cinemax skin flicks their real purpose is probably to help young
real purpose is probably to help young
real purpose is probably to help young fanboys see their first boob tonight
fanboys see their first boob tonight
fanboys see their first boob tonight confirmed that the dialogue of immortal
confirmed that the dialogue of immortal
confirmed that the dialogue of immortal yours is simply catastrophic and the
yours is simply catastrophic and the
yours is simply catastrophic and the gore will have you frozen in pure
gore will have you frozen in pure
gore will have you frozen in pure astonishment prepare yourself to be
astonishment prepare yourself to be
astonishment prepare yourself to be moved as in moving on to something more
moved as in moving on to something more
moved as in moving on to something more worthwhile we can’t go on like this
worthwhile we can’t go on like this
worthwhile we can’t go on like this anymore
movin from city to city country to
movin from city to city country to country
country
country number nine thirty days of night dark
number nine thirty days of night dark
number nine thirty days of night dark days we wait till tart till they go out
days we wait till tart till they go out
days we wait till tart till they go out and night after the success of 2007 30
and night after the success of 2007 30
and night after the success of 2007 30 days of night a fresh cast was assembled
days of night a fresh cast was assembled
days of night a fresh cast was assembled for a biting sequel with a new director
for a biting sequel with a new director
for a biting sequel with a new director and the final result ended in dark days
and the final result ended in dark days
and the final result ended in dark days for hopeful moviegoers last year when
for hopeful moviegoers last year when
for hopeful moviegoers last year when the Sun set for 30 days our town Barrow
the Sun set for 30 days our town Barrow
the Sun set for 30 days our town Barrow Alaska
came under siege by a clan of vampires
came under siege by a clan of vampires as the wife of the late Evan
as the wife of the late Evan
as the wife of the late Evan Stella spreads her husband’s message of
Stella spreads her husband’s message of
Stella spreads her husband’s message of vampires all over the world and her
vampires all over the world and her
vampires all over the world and her enemies actually hide by wearing
enemies actually hide by wearing
enemies actually hide by wearing sunglasses in auditoriums
sunglasses in auditoriums
sunglasses in auditoriums if there are any of you out there I
if there are any of you out there I
if there are any of you out there I suggest you stand and show yourselves
suggest you stand and show yourselves
suggest you stand and show yourselves while 30 days of night dark days
while 30 days of night dark days
while 30 days of night dark days reintroduce to the world to Michael
reintroduce to the world to Michael
reintroduce to the world to Michael Dawson have lost most viewers would
Dawson have lost most viewers would
Dawson have lost most viewers would rather spend time on a deserted island
rather spend time on a deserted island
rather spend time on a deserted island than endure the 92 minutes of this
than endure the 92 minutes of this
than endure the 92 minutes of this brutal sequel I know where they’re
brutal sequel I know where they’re
brutal sequel I know where they’re hiding take care of him number 8 Dracula
hiding take care of him number 8 Dracula
hiding take care of him number 8 Dracula to ascension I was right ship we found a
to ascension I was right ship we found a
to ascension I was right ship we found a vampire this American Romanian
vampire this American Romanian
vampire this American Romanian production combined the absurd with
production combined the absurd with
production combined the absurd with downright offensive imagery a sequel to
downright offensive imagery a sequel to
downright offensive imagery a sequel to Dracula mm patrick lussier film
Dracula mm patrick lussier film
Dracula mm patrick lussier film chronicled the story of a vatican
chronicled the story of a vatican
chronicled the story of a vatican vampire hunter and his quest to end
vampire hunter and his quest to end
vampire hunter and his quest to end Dracula forever I don’t know it’s a
Dracula forever I don’t know it’s a
Dracula forever I don’t know it’s a vampire nobody’s kidding themselves here
vampire nobody’s kidding themselves here
vampire nobody’s kidding themselves here see because Dracula is actually judas
see because Dracula is actually judas
see because Dracula is actually judas iscariot father who feet II could not
iscariot father who feet II could not
iscariot father who feet II could not have predicted the proverbial card of
have predicted the proverbial card of
have predicted the proverbial card of the vampire sleep but at least viewers
the vampire sleep but at least viewers
the vampire sleep but at least viewers received a little closure in the end
received a little closure in the end
received a little closure in the end well
well
well no they actually did not
at counting this film has it all if
at counting this film has it all if you’re looking for everything terrible
you’re looking for everything terrible
you’re looking for everything terrible in cinema
seven hundred and thirty seven thousand
seven hundred and thirty seven thousand eight hundred and ninety nine number
eight hundred and ninety nine number
eight hundred and ninety nine number seven
seven
seven Dracula dead and loving it Count Dracula
Dracula dead and loving it Count Dracula
Dracula dead and loving it Count Dracula I’m sorry my dear but you have such a
I’m sorry my dear but you have such a
I’m sorry my dear but you have such a lovely reciprocal mobility even legends
lovely reciprocal mobility even legends
lovely reciprocal mobility even legends make a few mistakes right and for your
make a few mistakes right and for your
make a few mistakes right and for your miserable performance you will receive
miserable performance you will receive
miserable performance you will receive no tip
no tip
no tip who knows what Mel Brooks was thinking
who knows what Mel Brooks was thinking
who knows what Mel Brooks was thinking when he made this comedy and maybe
when he made this comedy and maybe
when he made this comedy and maybe there’s a reason he hasn’t directed a
there’s a reason he hasn’t directed a
there’s a reason he hasn’t directed a film since I have been to many many
film since I have been to many many
film since I have been to many many takings you have to know to understand
takings you have to know to understand
takings you have to know to understand you know everything in life is location
you know everything in life is location
you know everything in life is location location okay with humor perfect for
location okay with humor perfect for
location okay with humor perfect for your grandma or grandpa Dracula dead and
your grandma or grandpa Dracula dead and
your grandma or grandpa Dracula dead and loving it builds off classic themes of
loving it builds off classic themes of
loving it builds off classic themes of the genre with painfully awkward
the genre with painfully awkward
the genre with painfully awkward performances including one by Brooks
performances including one by Brooks
performances including one by Brooks himself as van Helsing hello I am still
himself as van Helsing hello I am still
himself as van Helsing hello I am still standing professor van Helsing outdated
standing professor van Helsing outdated
standing professor van Helsing outdated and dead on arrival this flick has no
and dead on arrival this flick has no
and dead on arrival this flick has no tick she’s almost dead she’s dead enough
tick she’s almost dead she’s dead enough
tick she’s almost dead she’s dead enough number six Vampire Academy damn back to
number six Vampire Academy damn back to
number six Vampire Academy damn back to the Vampire Academy as the daughter of
the Vampire Academy as the daughter of
the Vampire Academy as the daughter of Back to the Future actress Lea Thompson
Back to the Future actress Lea Thompson
Back to the Future actress Lea Thompson Zoe Deutsch was blessed with beauty and
Zoe Deutsch was blessed with beauty and
Zoe Deutsch was blessed with beauty and brains but this young adult film had
brains but this young adult film had
brains but this young adult film had viewers dreaming of a time machine
viewers dreaming of a time machine
viewers dreaming of a time machine headed for a better movie having that
headed for a better movie having that
headed for a better movie having that dream wasn’t a dream as a half-human
dream wasn’t a dream as a half-human
dream wasn’t a dream as a half-human half-vampire
half-vampire
half-vampire Rose Hathaway trains to protect her own
Rose Hathaway trains to protect her own
Rose Hathaway trains to protect her own but the style and tone of Vampire
but the style and tone of Vampire
but the style and tone of Vampire Academy failed to connect with younger
Academy failed to connect with younger
Academy failed to connect with younger viewers or the entire world for that
viewers or the entire world for that
viewers or the entire world for that matter
matter
matter please don’t say Vampire Academy I find
please don’t say Vampire Academy I find
please don’t say Vampire Academy I find the time to be quite you set someone on
the time to be quite you set someone on
the time to be quite you set someone on fire it’s horrible in the most hilarious
fire it’s horrible in the most hilarious
fire it’s horrible in the most hilarious of ways a film with potential but unsure
of ways a film with potential but unsure
of ways a film with potential but unsure how to use it yeah I want you to say all
how to use it yeah I want you to say all
how to use it yeah I want you to say all those things good night all
those things good night all
those things good night all number five Abraham Lincoln vampire
number five Abraham Lincoln vampire
number five Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter Abraham Lincoln as proof that
hunter Abraham Lincoln as proof that
hunter Abraham Lincoln as proof that Hollywood will do absolutely anything to
Hollywood will do absolutely anything to
Hollywood will do absolutely anything to make a few bucks this adaptation of Seth
make a few bucks this adaptation of Seth
make a few bucks this adaptation of Seth grahame-smith snarl effectively shook
grahame-smith snarl effectively shook
grahame-smith snarl effectively shook the grave of a US president for whatever
the grave of a US president for whatever
the grave of a US president for whatever else I am a husband lawyer a president
else I am a husband lawyer a president
else I am a husband lawyer a president she’ll always think of myself as a man
she’ll always think of myself as a man
she’ll always think of myself as a man who struggled against darkness Abraham
who struggled against darkness Abraham
who struggled against darkness Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter portrayed a world
Lincoln vampire hunter portrayed a world
Lincoln vampire hunter portrayed a world in which Honest Abe had more problems
in which Honest Abe had more problems
in which Honest Abe had more problems than we could imagine and ultimately
than we could imagine and ultimately
than we could imagine and ultimately Confused the minds of young history
Confused the minds of young history
Confused the minds of young history students I thought you were an honest
students I thought you were an honest
students I thought you were an honest man really a stand-up comic starred in
man really a stand-up comic starred in
man really a stand-up comic starred in the title role for crying out loud and
the title role for crying out loud and
the title role for crying out loud and we all know that Lincoln most likely
we all know that Lincoln most likely
we all know that Lincoln most likely would have preferred Brad Pitt you
would have preferred Brad Pitt you
would have preferred Brad Pitt you weren’t ready to know what you were a
weren’t ready to know what you were a
weren’t ready to know what you were a vampire the vampire hunter rode the
vampire the vampire hunter rode the
vampire the vampire hunter rode the railroad into more Beckman bet Huff’s
railroad into more Beckman bet Huff’s
railroad into more Beckman bet Huff’s film but it was the film itself that was
film but it was the film itself that was
film but it was the film itself that was a symbolic trainwreck
number four the Twilight franchise you
number four the Twilight franchise you really should have figured that out a
really should have figured that out a
really should have figured that out a little earlier love them or hate them
little earlier love them or hate them
little earlier love them or hate them every single one of the Twilight films
every single one of the Twilight films
every single one of the Twilight films is factually horrible what does that
is factually horrible what does that
is factually horrible what does that mean
mean
mean this information may disturb millions of
this information may disturb millions of
this information may disturb millions of loyal fans but if you’re moved to tears
loyal fans but if you’re moved to tears
loyal fans but if you’re moved to tears by the story of Bella Edward and Jacob
by the story of Bella Edward and Jacob
by the story of Bella Edward and Jacob then you probably need to watch more
then you probably need to watch more
then you probably need to watch more films I’m just gonna be around for a
films I’m just gonna be around for a
films I’m just gonna be around for a long time isn’t she very long time sure
long time isn’t she very long time sure
long time isn’t she very long time sure the vampire stories made a gazillion
the vampire stories made a gazillion
the vampire stories made a gazillion dollars but the relentless assault on
dollars but the relentless assault on
dollars but the relentless assault on innocent moviegoers caused unwanted
innocent moviegoers caused unwanted
innocent moviegoers caused unwanted stress and even a fear of cinema for
stress and even a fear of cinema for
stress and even a fear of cinema for some why did you hate me so much when we
some why did you hate me so much when we
some why did you hate me so much when we met we need vampire movies that inspire
met we need vampire movies that inspire
met we need vampire movies that inspire not films that take over the
not films that take over the
not films that take over the subconscious minds of our world’s
subconscious minds of our world’s
subconscious minds of our world’s children it’s not too late to change
children it’s not too late to change
children it’s not too late to change your mind what no you’re having second
your mind what no you’re having second
your mind what no you’re having second thoughts you are number three vampires
thoughts you are number three vampires
thoughts you are number three vampires suck your beloved Edward isn’t here to
suck your beloved Edward isn’t here to
suck your beloved Edward isn’t here to save you speaking of cultural influence
save you speaking of cultural influence
save you speaking of cultural influence a group of actual human beings once
a group of actual human beings once
a group of actual human beings once decided that this film had to be made
riding on the tail of the Twilight
riding on the tail of the Twilight phenomenon Vampires Suck made fun of
phenomenon Vampires Suck made fun of
phenomenon Vampires Suck made fun of brutal genre films while simultaneously
brutal genre films while simultaneously
brutal genre films while simultaneously adding to the collection see what you
adding to the collection see what you
adding to the collection see what you want about them but they do know how to
want about them but they do know how to
want about them but they do know how to party
with lame pop cultural references and
with lame pop cultural references and mediocre performances this movie
mediocre performances this movie
mediocre performances this movie quadrupled its budget in profits which
quadrupled its budget in profits which
quadrupled its budget in profits which speaks volumes about the current state
speaks volumes about the current state
speaks volumes about the current state of cinema
of cinema
of cinema I got skilled rich 82 minutes too long
I got skilled rich 82 minutes too long
I got skilled rich 82 minutes too long Vampires Suck is a modern meta disaster
Vampires Suck is a modern meta disaster
Vampires Suck is a modern meta disaster stop you’re going to hurt yourself
stop you’re going to hurt yourself
stop you’re going to hurt yourself number two vampire in Brooklyn there’s a
number two vampire in Brooklyn there’s a
number two vampire in Brooklyn there’s a killer on the loose it’s hard to tell a
killer on the loose it’s hard to tell a
killer on the loose it’s hard to tell a celebrity no am i right
celebrity no am i right
celebrity no am i right fresh off the heels of Beverly Hills Cop
fresh off the heels of Beverly Hills Cop
fresh off the heels of Beverly Hills Cop 3 Annie Murphy decided it was a good
3 Annie Murphy decided it was a good
3 Annie Murphy decided it was a good career choice to star in Wes Craven’s
career choice to star in Wes Craven’s
career choice to star in Wes Craven’s tale of Big Apple bloodsuckers a woman
tale of Big Apple bloodsuckers a woman
tale of Big Apple bloodsuckers a woman smiles so lovely it could brighten the
smiles so lovely it could brighten the
smiles so lovely it could brighten the darkest night edited by the director of
darkest night edited by the director of
darkest night edited by the director of our number 8 entry vampire in Brooklyn
our number 8 entry vampire in Brooklyn
our number 8 entry vampire in Brooklyn was actually written by Eddie Murphy and
was actually written by Eddie Murphy and
was actually written by Eddie Murphy and allowed him to show off his comedic
allowed him to show off his comedic
allowed him to show off his comedic versatility with several roles that was
versatility with several roles that was
versatility with several roles that was my phone no no that was my fault I
my phone no no that was my fault I
my phone no no that was my fault I apologize that friend was drunk that way
apologize that friend was drunk that way
apologize that friend was drunk that way in perhaps the biggest slam from critics
in perhaps the biggest slam from critics
in perhaps the biggest slam from critics Roger Ebert once noted well the movie is
Roger Ebert once noted well the movie is
Roger Ebert once noted well the movie is unpleasant to look at and my overall
unpleasant to look at and my overall
unpleasant to look at and my overall memory of it is people screaming in the
memory of it is people screaming in the
memory of it is people screaming in the shadows vampire failed there’s nothing
shadows vampire failed there’s nothing
shadows vampire failed there’s nothing wrong with being just a little crazy
wrong with being just a little crazy
wrong with being just a little crazy before we unveil our top pick here are a
before we unveil our top pick here are a
before we unveil our top pick here are a few honorable mentions
few honorable mentions
few honorable mentions you had him every night in your dreams
you had him every night in your dreams
you had him every night in your dreams you never gave in Cher
you never gave in Cher
you never gave in Cher I took you
staring into the all-consuming void the
staring into the all-consuming void the dark shadows of one’s soul is heavy
I know you can hear me because I could
I know you can hear me because I could hear you
number one blood rain this is the work
number one blood rain this is the work of a young vampire out-of-control
blood rage directed by Eva bull enough
blood rage directed by Eva bull enough said that’s ridiculous
said that’s ridiculous
said that’s ridiculous oh you need more well the legendary Ben
oh you need more well the legendary Ben
oh you need more well the legendary Ben Kingsley said it best quote prepare to
Kingsley said it best quote prepare to
Kingsley said it best quote prepare to witness the beginning of a new era a
witness the beginning of a new era a
witness the beginning of a new era a start night prepare to witness the
start night prepare to witness the
start night prepare to witness the beginning of a new era as the vampire
beginning of a new era as the vampire
beginning of a new era as the vampire film destined to become the worst of its
film destined to become the worst of its
film destined to become the worst of its kind
kind
kind blood rain changed the video game it was
blood rain changed the video game it was
blood rain changed the video game it was based on and introduced a new kind of
based on and introduced a new kind of
based on and introduced a new kind of awful can I see your teeth
awful can I see your teeth
awful can I see your teeth Christina Logan starred in this slasher
Christina Logan starred in this slasher
Christina Logan starred in this slasher video game adaptation as a mixed-breed
video game adaptation as a mixed-breed
video game adaptation as a mixed-breed vampire out for vengeance finally we
vampire out for vengeance finally we
vampire out for vengeance finally we agree on something
agree on something
agree on something with a rather talented ensemble that
with a rather talented ensemble that
with a rather talented ensemble that agreed to be dressed in ridiculous garb
agreed to be dressed in ridiculous garb
agreed to be dressed in ridiculous garb one has to question this film’s very
one has to question this film’s very
one has to question this film’s very existence and whether the entire
existence and whether the entire
existence and whether the entire production was part of some conspiracy
production was part of some conspiracy
production was part of some conspiracy hungry bitch we need answers meat loaf
to life do you agree with our list oh my
to life do you agree with our list oh my god we won what’s your favorite worst
god we won what’s your favorite worst
god we won what’s your favorite worst vampire movie
vampire movie
vampire movie well I don’t want to talk about that
well I don’t want to talk about that
well I don’t want to talk about that it’s not fair I was drunk
it’s not fair I was drunk
it’s not fair I was drunk for more mind-blowing top 10s published
for more mind-blowing top 10s published
for more mind-blowing top 10s published every day be sure to subscribe to
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watchmojo.com
watchmojo.com you’re being so foolish you’ve been
you’re being so foolish you’ve been
you’re being so foolish you’ve been lying to us
”
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