one of my favorite TEDTalks speakers is a woman by the name of Brene brown burn
a woman by the name of Brene brown burn
a woman by the name of Brene brown burn a brown once made the statement when
a brown once made the statement when
a brown once made the statement when we’re going through life’s biggest
we’re going through life’s biggest
we’re going through life’s biggest challenges life’s biggest struggles the
challenges life’s biggest struggles the
challenges life’s biggest struggles the two most powerful words in the world are
two most powerful words in the world are
two most powerful words in the world are me to me to tell you guys a little story
me to me to tell you guys a little story
me to me to tell you guys a little story when I was 26 years old a couple years
when I was 26 years old a couple years
when I was 26 years old a couple years out of college about like most 26 year
out of college about like most 26 year
out of college about like most 26 year olds trying to figure out my career that
olds trying to figure out my career that
olds trying to figure out my career that finished with school just live in life
finished with school just live in life
finished with school just live in life going on dates hanging out with friends
going on dates hanging out with friends
going on dates hanging out with friends nothing really out of the ordinary I was
nothing really out of the ordinary I was
nothing really out of the ordinary I was in Ann Arbor Michigan on a Saturday
in Ann Arbor Michigan on a Saturday
in Ann Arbor Michigan on a Saturday night shooting pool three guys and three
night shooting pool three guys and three
night shooting pool three guys and three girls having fun hanging out typical
girls having fun hanging out typical
girls having fun hanging out typical Saturday night all of a sudden suddenly
Saturday night all of a sudden suddenly
Saturday night all of a sudden suddenly the worst pain of my life the worst pain
the worst pain of my life the worst pain
the worst pain of my life the worst pain of my life flips on like a light switch
of my life flips on like a light switch
of my life flips on like a light switch what it felt like
what it felt like
what it felt like is someone literally took a knife and
is someone literally took a knife and
is someone literally took a knife and violently stabbed me
violently stabbed me
violently stabbed me directly in the left testicle again I’m
directly in the left testicle again I’m
directly in the left testicle again I’m playing pool I have no idea what’s going
playing pool I have no idea what’s going
playing pool I have no idea what’s going on in my body I dropped the pool stick
on in my body I dropped the pool stick
on in my body I dropped the pool stick out of my hands I doubled over in vain
out of my hands I doubled over in vain
out of my hands I doubled over in vain my friends looked at me and said Johnny
my friends looked at me and said Johnny
my friends looked at me and said Johnny you can’t even stand up you’re in pain
you can’t even stand up you’re in pain
you can’t even stand up you’re in pain we’ll pick you up and carry to the car
we’ll pick you up and carry to the car
we’ll pick you up and carry to the car and drive you’re the hospital and I
and drive you’re the hospital and I
and drive you’re the hospital and I looked at my friends that’s a pretty
looked at my friends that’s a pretty
looked at my friends that’s a pretty ignorant 26 year old and said I’m fine
ignorant 26 year old and said I’m fine
ignorant 26 year old and said I’m fine guys I’ll figure this out it’s Saturday
guys I’ll figure this out it’s Saturday
guys I’ll figure this out it’s Saturday night don’t worry you guys have fun I
night don’t worry you guys have fun I
night don’t worry you guys have fun I don’t want to ruin Saturday night for
don’t want to ruin Saturday night for
don’t want to ruin Saturday night for you and what I did very stupid but it’s
you and what I did very stupid but it’s
you and what I did very stupid but it’s the truth I literally started waddling
the truth I literally started waddling
the truth I literally started waddling like this out of the bar and I wanted
like this out of the bar and I wanted
like this out of the bar and I wanted all the way down the street people were
all the way down the street people were
all the way down the street people were staring at me and I wattle all the way
staring at me and I wattle all the way
staring at me and I wattle all the way back to my car I finally found my car
back to my car I finally found my car
back to my car I finally found my car and I open the car doors and I swing my
and I open the car doors and I swing my
and I open the car doors and I swing my legs up and in only to realize that my
legs up and in only to realize that my
legs up and in only to realize that my legs are locked in this position I
legs are locked in this position I
legs are locked in this position I literally can’t reach the pedals I
literally can’t reach the pedals I
literally can’t reach the pedals I such pain I’m almost crying in pain and
such pain I’m almost crying in pain and
such pain I’m almost crying in pain and I’m alone I’m thinking what do I do yeah
I’m alone I’m thinking what do I do yeah
I’m alone I’m thinking what do I do yeah drive the only thing I can do is I’ve
drive the only thing I can do is I’ve
drive the only thing I can do is I’ve actually start to push on my quads
actually start to push on my quads
actually start to push on my quads trying to get my legs down to reach the
trying to get my legs down to reach the
trying to get my legs down to reach the pedals and minutes go by and I finally
pedals and minutes go by and I finally
pedals and minutes go by and I finally get my legs down and I can try the car
get my legs down and I can try the car
get my legs down and I can try the car and see grab the steering wheel
and see grab the steering wheel
and see grab the steering wheel not long after I’m in the hospital and
not long after I’m in the hospital and
not long after I’m in the hospital and I’ve got a doctor looking at me in the
I’ve got a doctor looking at me in the
I’ve got a doctor looking at me in the eye saying really sorry kid you’re in
eye saying really sorry kid you’re in
eye saying really sorry kid you’re in your 20s this is not what I want to tell
your 20s this is not what I want to tell
your 20s this is not what I want to tell you but you have advanced cancer and as
you but you have advanced cancer and as
you but you have advanced cancer and as we all know those words immediately your
we all know those words immediately your
we all know those words immediately your life changes so quickly what I found
life changes so quickly what I found
life changes so quickly what I found myself was immediately in treatment my
myself was immediately in treatment my
myself was immediately in treatment my cancer had started in my left testicle
cancer had started in my left testicle
cancer had started in my left testicle and spread up into the pelvis abdomen
and spread up into the pelvis abdomen
and spread up into the pelvis abdomen behind the kidneys almost to the lungs
behind the kidneys almost to the lungs
behind the kidneys almost to the lungs and immediately went into surgery they
and immediately went into surgery they
and immediately went into surgery they had to cut the left testicle out that
had to cut the left testicle out that
had to cut the left testicle out that was the first step the second step I had
was the first step the second step I had
was the first step the second step I had the bank’s sperm because most of us are
the bank’s sperm because most of us are
the bank’s sperm because most of us are going to be sterile and unable to have
going to be sterile and unable to have
going to be sterile and unable to have our own children and the third step I
our own children and the third step I
our own children and the third step I had a surgical implant called a port
had a surgical implant called a port
had a surgical implant called a port that was surgically implanted into the
that was surgically implanted into the
that was surgically implanted into the side of my arm and a catheter line ran
side of my arm and a catheter line ran
side of my arm and a catheter line ran through the vein all the way to my heart
through the vein all the way to my heart
through the vein all the way to my heart and then they sewed it up and that was
and then they sewed it up and that was
and then they sewed it up and that was the access port for chemo every day and
the access port for chemo every day and
the access port for chemo every day and my chemo therapies were in general
my chemo therapies were in general
my chemo therapies were in general Monday through Friday every day for
Monday through Friday every day for
Monday through Friday every day for about eight hours a day of chemo crazy
about eight hours a day of chemo crazy
about eight hours a day of chemo crazy side effects on chemo like numbness in
side effects on chemo like numbness in
side effects on chemo like numbness in your fingertips and your toes really
your fingertips and your toes really
your fingertips and your toes really affects your capillaries the chemo you
affects your capillaries the chemo you
affects your capillaries the chemo you would have mouth sores in my throat
would have mouth sores in my throat
would have mouth sores in my throat sometimes the size of my pinky nail
sometimes the size of my pinky nail
sometimes the size of my pinky nail obviously fatigue sometimes you throw up
obviously fatigue sometimes you throw up
obviously fatigue sometimes you throw up you’re sick you’re tired there’s a lot
you’re sick you’re tired there’s a lot
you’re sick you’re tired there’s a lot of mental and physical challenges that
of mental and physical challenges that
of mental and physical challenges that come along with chemo but I was very
come along with chemo but I was very
come along with chemo but I was very lucky I was able to get through that I
lucky I was able to get through that I
lucky I was able to get through that I scanned me after about six months of
scanned me after about six months of
scanned me after about six months of chemotherapy everything looked clear and
chemotherapy everything looked clear and
chemotherapy everything looked clear and at that point mentally and physically
at that point mentally and physically
at that point mentally and physically I’m really knocked down
I’m really knocked down
I’m really knocked down but I’m slowly starting to build back up
but I’m slowly starting to build back up
but I’m slowly starting to build back up and about a year later at 28 years old I
and about a year later at 28 years old I
and about a year later at 28 years old I did a checkup cat scan and what I had
did a checkup cat scan and what I had
did a checkup cat scan and what I had was recurrence which means the original
was recurrence which means the original
was recurrence which means the original tumor comes back and it was a secular
tumor comes back and it was a secular
tumor comes back and it was a secular cancer but this time for tumors behind
cancer but this time for tumors behind
cancer but this time for tumors behind my kidney sort of near my spine so at
my kidney sort of near my spine so at
my kidney sort of near my spine so at that point we had to go immediately into
that point we had to go immediately into
that point we had to go immediately into surgery did an 11 inch vertical incision
surgery did an 11 inch vertical incision
surgery did an 11 inch vertical incision through the abdomen pretty much from the
through the abdomen pretty much from the
through the abdomen pretty much from the sternum down to the pubic bone human
sternum down to the pubic bone human
sternum down to the pubic bone human body is amazing I rable to withstand
body is amazing I rable to withstand
body is amazing I rable to withstand cuts surgeries like this they took all
cuts surgeries like this they took all
cuts surgeries like this they took all my internal organs the liver the kidneys
my internal organs the liver the kidneys
my internal organs the liver the kidneys the intestines the stomach completely
the intestines the stomach completely
the intestines the stomach completely outside the body push them all the way
outside the body push them all the way
outside the body push them all the way to the side to get to the tumors cut out
to the side to get to the tumors cut out
to the side to get to the tumors cut out the four tumors
the four tumors
the four tumors put all the organs right back in stitch
put all the organs right back in stitch
put all the organs right back in stitch the stomach muscle and then about sixty
the stomach muscle and then about sixty
the stomach muscle and then about sixty staples vertically up and down as you
staples vertically up and down as you
staples vertically up and down as you might imagine I was not in the gym that
might imagine I was not in the gym that
might imagine I was not in the gym that night it took a while to build back up
night it took a while to build back up
night it took a while to build back up and slowly get stronger again but the
and slowly get stronger again but the
and slowly get stronger again but the important part is when you’re all this
important part is when you’re all this
important part is when you’re all this time in the Cancer Center going through
time in the Cancer Center going through
time in the Cancer Center going through roughly two years of treatments you have
roughly two years of treatments you have
roughly two years of treatments you have so much time to look around and see
so much time to look around and see
so much time to look around and see where the cracks are in the system who
where the cracks are in the system who
where the cracks are in the system who better to find ways to make the cancer
better to find ways to make the cancer
better to find ways to make the cancer world and system better for those who
world and system better for those who
world and system better for those who fallow then those who’ve already been
fallow then those who’ve already been
fallow then those who’ve already been there those who’ve already lived through
there those who’ve already lived through
there those who’ve already lived through it those who’ve already smelled it
it those who’ve already smelled it
it those who’ve already smelled it seeing the sights read books there watch
seeing the sights read books there watch
seeing the sights read books there watch movies there you literally live in the
movies there you literally live in the
movies there you literally live in the hospital
hospital
hospital for many of us for years right you can’t
for many of us for years right you can’t
for many of us for years right you can’t help but see what goes on and as I’m
help but see what goes on and as I’m
help but see what goes on and as I’m walking in many days on chemo with my V
walking in many days on chemo with my V
walking in many days on chemo with my V Pole and walking down the hallway to the
Pole and walking down the hallway to the
Pole and walking down the hallway to the bathroom leaving my room you can’t help
bathroom leaving my room you can’t help
bathroom leaving my room you can’t help but look in the other rooms and see
but look in the other rooms and see
but look in the other rooms and see who’s behind the glass and walk back to
who’s behind the glass and walk back to
who’s behind the glass and walk back to your own room you see again who’s behind
your own room you see again who’s behind
your own room you see again who’s behind the glass and you see so many people are
the glass and you see so many people are
the glass and you see so many people are isolated and alone and scared
isolated and alone and scared
isolated and alone and scared most people are all alone and scared and
most people are all alone and scared and
most people are all alone and scared and anyone who works and
anyone who works and
anyone who works and hospitals and with people with cancer is
hospitals and with people with cancer is
hospitals and with people with cancer is aware that that’s the harsh reality that
aware that that’s the harsh reality that
aware that that’s the harsh reality that that’s what happens so looking at how
that’s what happens so looking at how
that’s what happens so looking at how people are isolated and alone and scared
people are isolated and alone and scared
people are isolated and alone and scared with no one to talk to then also being a
with no one to talk to then also being a
with no one to talk to then also being a young adult survivor who wanted to find
young adult survivor who wanted to find
young adult survivor who wanted to find a way to give back and look for a crack
a way to give back and look for a crack
a way to give back and look for a crack in the system I tried to put two things
in the system I tried to put two things
in the system I tried to put two things together and what we created was a way
together and what we created was a way
together and what we created was a way to inspire and to motivate and to help
to inspire and to motivate and to help
to inspire and to motivate and to help the people who are fighting cancer by
the people who are fighting cancer by
the people who are fighting cancer by creating a buddy system of support the
creating a buddy system of support the
creating a buddy system of support the crack in the system the crack was
crack in the system the crack was
crack in the system the crack was isolation the crack was why are people
isolation the crack was why are people
isolation the crack was why are people alone
alone
alone why don’t they know people like them why
why don’t they know people like them why
why don’t they know people like them why are they so nervous going into this what
are they so nervous going into this what
are they so nervous going into this what if they knew somebody who’s actually
if they knew somebody who’s actually
if they knew somebody who’s actually already been there who’s beaten the same
already been there who’s beaten the same
already been there who’s beaten the same form of cancer who wants to talk to them
form of cancer who wants to talk to them
form of cancer who wants to talk to them help them motivate them encourage them
help them motivate them encourage them
help them motivate them encourage them inspire them help them cross that finish
inspire them help them cross that finish
inspire them help them cross that finish line because they already have how do we
line because they already have how do we
line because they already have how do we create that solution how do we bridge
create that solution how do we bridge
create that solution how do we bridge these two worlds so we created an
these two worlds so we created an
these two worlds so we created an organization to solve this problem
organization to solve this problem
organization to solve this problem it’s called emmerman angels there’s
it’s called emmerman angels there’s
it’s called emmerman angels there’s about 8,000 volunteers who are cancer
about 8,000 volunteers who are cancer
about 8,000 volunteers who are cancer survivors and family members who have
survivors and family members who have
survivors and family members who have already been through a specific journey
already been through a specific journey
already been through a specific journey with cancer and now they’re on the other
with cancer and now they’re on the other
with cancer and now they’re on the other side and we’ve recruited them we’ve
side and we’ve recruited them we’ve
side and we’ve recruited them we’ve trained that we brought them into our
trained that we brought them into our
trained that we brought them into our system and then we find people who are
system and then we find people who are
system and then we find people who are fighting cancer today maybe diagnosed
fighting cancer today maybe diagnosed
fighting cancer today maybe diagnosed this morning and buddy the best
this morning and buddy the best
this morning and buddy the best volunteer angel that we know is the most
volunteer angel that we know is the most
volunteer angel that we know is the most similar with that person who’s brand new
similar with that person who’s brand new
similar with that person who’s brand new so nobody has to fight cancer alone ever
so nobody has to fight cancer alone ever
so nobody has to fight cancer alone ever it’s free these are volunteers they do
it’s free these are volunteers they do
it’s free these are volunteers they do this because they care and they’re
this because they care and they’re
this because they care and they’re grateful and they want to give back so
grateful and they want to give back so
grateful and they want to give back so let me give you a couple examples of our
let me give you a couple examples of our
let me give you a couple examples of our idea someone named Ally
idea someone named Ally
idea someone named Ally for through this Burbank California
for through this Burbank California
for through this Burbank California gets diagnosed with parotid gland cancer
gets diagnosed with parotid gland cancer
gets diagnosed with parotid gland cancer usually not before usual overall inside
usually not before usual overall inside
usually not before usual overall inside of her of her face she is worried about
of her of her face she is worried about
of her of her face she is worried about surgery in this figure she’s worried
surgery in this figure she’s worried
surgery in this figure she’s worried about the animal and fro unable to have
about the animal and fro unable to have
about the animal and fro unable to have children she’s worried about finding job
children she’s worried about finding job
children she’s worried about finding job different and confident enough to go on
different and confident enough to go on
different and confident enough to go on a job interview all of these issues that
a job interview all of these issues that
a job interview all of these issues that Emily asked we don’t run when another
Emily asked we don’t run when another
Emily asked we don’t run when another girl has this New York we said about 30
girl has this New York we said about 30
girl has this New York we said about 30 years old when I was trying for I had
years old when I was trying for I had
years old when I was trying for I had the exact same bottom line cancer and
the exact same bottom line cancer and
the exact same bottom line cancer and get in a bet there and get lost my hair
get in a bet there and get lost my hair
get in a bet there and get lost my hair and chemo but here’s a picture today I
and chemo but here’s a picture today I
and chemo but here’s a picture today I will have you through this it’s a base
will have you through this it’s a base
will have you through this it’s a base time they can email to context even they
time they can email to context even they
time they can email to context even they can travel they would like to visit each
can travel they would like to visit each
can travel they would like to visit each other with one to one
knowledge and inspiration to someone
knowledge and inspiration to someone like Emily in Burbank another example of
like Emily in Burbank another example of
like Emily in Burbank another example of our one-on-one peer mentoring program is
our one-on-one peer mentoring program is
our one-on-one peer mentoring program is when the spouse is is suffering through
when the spouse is is suffering through
when the spouse is is suffering through the cancer experience sometimes we have
the cancer experience sometimes we have
the cancer experience sometimes we have somebody who is fighting cancer who is
somebody who is fighting cancer who is
somebody who is fighting cancer who is 60 and we match them to a survivor but
60 and we match them to a survivor but
60 and we match them to a survivor but their spouses this is the hardest thing
their spouses this is the hardest thing
their spouses this is the hardest thing in the world
in the world
in the world getting them to treatment emotionally
getting them to treatment emotionally
getting them to treatment emotionally dealing with it myself helping them stay
dealing with it myself helping them stay
dealing with it myself helping them stay positive understanding all this all
positive understanding all this all
positive understanding all this all these ins and outs of life that are so
these ins and outs of life that are so
these ins and outs of life that are so hard maybe making sure the kids are okay
hard maybe making sure the kids are okay
hard maybe making sure the kids are okay all those challenges we got a hook that
all those challenges we got a hook that
all those challenges we got a hook that spouse up the caregiver with another
spouse up the caregiver with another
spouse up the caregiver with another caregiver that can say I’ve gone through
caregiver that can say I’ve gone through
caregiver that can say I’ve gone through this as well my spouse went through the
this as well my spouse went through the
this as well my spouse went through the same thing five years out of you I have
same thing five years out of you I have
same thing five years out of you I have so many tips so much knowledge this
so many tips so much knowledge this
so many tips so much knowledge this worked this doesn’t work I can help you
worked this doesn’t work I can help you
worked this doesn’t work I can help you get through this trust me there’s a
get through this trust me there’s a
get through this trust me there’s a finish line trust me
finish line trust me
finish line trust me life will get better I’m gonna help you
life will get better I’m gonna help you
life will get better I’m gonna help you stay positive when you need me
stay positive when you need me
stay positive when you need me get there a third application of what we
get there a third application of what we
get there a third application of what we do at everyman angels is a satyr one of
do at everyman angels is a satyr one of
do at everyman angels is a satyr one of course but when someone loses someone to
course but when someone loses someone to
course but when someone loses someone to cancer maybe it’s a child and a
cancer maybe it’s a child and a
cancer maybe it’s a child and a ten-year-old child gets diagnosed named
ten-year-old child gets diagnosed named
ten-year-old child gets diagnosed named Robbie with leukemia and after a
Robbie with leukemia and after a
Robbie with leukemia and after a two-year battle ravi and michigan
two-year battle ravi and michigan
two-year battle ravi and michigan doesn’t make it those parents are
doesn’t make it those parents are
doesn’t make it those parents are isolated scared they don’t know even who
isolated scared they don’t know even who
isolated scared they don’t know even who to talk to and their friend and family
to talk to and their friend and family
to talk to and their friend and family network who really emphasizes who really
network who really emphasizes who really
network who really emphasizes who really understands we need to get Robbie’s
understands we need to get Robbie’s
understands we need to get Robbie’s family and parents matched with another
family and parents matched with another
family and parents matched with another set of parents that may live in Miami
set of parents that may live in Miami
set of parents that may live in Miami who say we lost a child to leukemia as
who say we lost a child to leukemia as
who say we lost a child to leukemia as well at the same age 10 years ago we’ve
well at the same age 10 years ago we’ve
well at the same age 10 years ago we’ve been there if thought our lives were
been there if thought our lives were
been there if thought our lives were over we stuck out this marriage we got
over we stuck out this marriage we got
over we stuck out this marriage we got through it here’s how we did it and year
through it here’s how we did it and year
through it here’s how we did it and year one here’s how it wasn’t here – and
one here’s how it wasn’t here – and
one here’s how it wasn’t here – and you’re four and you’re five these
you’re four and you’re five these
you’re four and you’re five these parents essentially give a road map I
parents essentially give a road map I
parents essentially give a road map I give a road map they’ve been there they
give a road map they’ve been there they
give a road map they’ve been there they walk this walk they can say there’s hope
walk this walk they can say there’s hope
walk this walk they can say there’s hope and there’s knowledge then you need to
and there’s knowledge then you need to
and there’s knowledge then you need to know to get you to a better place and
know to get you to a better place and
know to get you to a better place and what I’ve learned personally with people
what I’ve learned personally with people
what I’ve learned personally with people in this situation what generally happens
in this situation what generally happens
in this situation what generally happens is that they’ll say the thought of
is that they’ll say the thought of
is that they’ll say the thought of getting 50% happy again after losing a
getting 50% happy again after losing a
getting 50% happy again after losing a spouse or a child sounds like a dream an
spouse or a child sounds like a dream an
spouse or a child sounds like a dream an unrealistic dream ten years later 15
unrealistic dream ten years later 15
unrealistic dream ten years later 15 years later what you hear from these
years later what you hear from these
years later what you hear from these people is that they’re 95 percent happy
people is that they’re 95 percent happy
people is that they’re 95 percent happy ninety-five percent when you’re in it
ninety-five percent when you’re in it
ninety-five percent when you’re in it it’s unimaginable it’s completely
it’s unimaginable it’s completely
it’s unimaginable it’s completely unattainable in our minds ten years
unattainable in our minds ten years
unattainable in our minds ten years later twelve years later with a lot of
later twelve years later with a lot of
later twelve years later with a lot of hard work and a lot of therapy and a lot
hard work and a lot of therapy and a lot
hard work and a lot of therapy and a lot of emotional evolution these people say
of emotional evolution these people say
of emotional evolution these people say they’re 95% happy that gives so much
they’re 95% happy that gives so much
they’re 95% happy that gives so much hope so much strength and so much
hope so much strength and so much
hope so much strength and so much encouragement to those families who are
encouragement to those families who are
encouragement to those families who are just starting this journey
just starting this journey
just starting this journey so in summary is burn a brown one said
so in summary is burn a brown one said
so in summary is burn a brown one said we go through life struggles the two
we go through life struggles the two
we go through life struggles the two most powerful words in the world are me
most powerful words in the world are me
most powerful words in the world are me too this is what people need in the
too this is what people need in the
too this is what people need in the cancer world they need to connect the
cancer world they need to connect the
cancer world they need to connect the opportunity to connect with someone like
opportunity to connect with someone like
opportunity to connect with someone like you who is farther along who can look
you who is farther along who can look
you who is farther along who can look you in the eye and see me – it gets
you in the eye and see me – it gets
you in the eye and see me – it gets better
better
better that’s how we build hope that’s how we
that’s how we build hope that’s how we
that’s how we build hope that’s how we build knowledge and strength and help
build knowledge and strength and help
build knowledge and strength and help every single family across this world
every single family across this world
every single family across this world cross that finish line and know that
cross that finish line and know that
cross that finish line and know that life is worth living there’s a light at
life is worth living there’s a light at
life is worth living there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and that’s what
the end of the tunnel and that’s what
the end of the tunnel and that’s what emmerman angels mission is to do bridge
emmerman angels mission is to do bridge
emmerman angels mission is to do bridge this cancer world thank you
this cancer world thank you
this cancer world thank you [Applause]
”
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