so I understand that I am the last Speaker of the evening and my talk is
Speaker of the evening and my talk is
Speaker of the evening and my talk is going to end with a blessing and I would
going to end with a blessing and I would
going to end with a blessing and I would like to encourage you to come as close
like to encourage you to come as close
like to encourage you to come as close to you as you can to the stage I’m not
to you as you can to the stage I’m not
to you as you can to the stage I’m not allowed to be very close to you because
allowed to be very close to you because
allowed to be very close to you because if you do then you don’t see me so I
if you do then you don’t see me so I
if you do then you don’t see me so I want to be talking about looking through
want to be talking about looking through
want to be talking about looking through the eyes of love and living with less
the eyes of love and living with less
the eyes of love and living with less judgment the world now is too dangerous
judgment the world now is too dangerous
judgment the world now is too dangerous and too beautiful for anything but love
and too beautiful for anything but love
and too beautiful for anything but love when my daughter Laura was born and I
when my daughter Laura was born and I
when my daughter Laura was born and I held my first child in my hand something
held my first child in my hand something
held my first child in my hand something happened I felt a love that was so
happened I felt a love that was so
happened I felt a love that was so strong I knew it would never end no
strong I knew it would never end no
strong I knew it would never end no matter what she did I couldn’t stop
matter what she did I couldn’t stop
matter what she did I couldn’t stop loving her and believe me she did a lot
loving her and believe me she did a lot
loving her and believe me she did a lot but her misdeeds and her childhood cruel
but her misdeeds and her childhood cruel
but her misdeeds and her childhood cruel tease never defined her I could only
tease never defined her I could only
tease never defined her I could only look at her through the eyes of love as
look at her through the eyes of love as
look at her through the eyes of love as this sparkling beautiful human capable
this sparkling beautiful human capable
this sparkling beautiful human capable of and deserving of love and I wonder
of and deserving of love and I wonder
of and deserving of love and I wonder why don’t look at myself that way and
why don’t look at myself that way and
why don’t look at myself that way and why we don’t look at other people that
why we don’t look at other people that
why we don’t look at other people that way I know for me it’s the mistakes that
way I know for me it’s the mistakes that
way I know for me it’s the mistakes that stick I’ll have a conversation with a
stick I’ll have a conversation with a
stick I’ll have a conversation with a group of people and I’ll say 10 amazing
group of people and I’ll say 10 amazing
group of people and I’ll say 10 amazing funny things and one stupid thing and I
funny things and one stupid thing and I
funny things and one stupid thing and I will leave that conversation and say to
will leave that conversation and say to
will leave that conversation and say to myself I can’t believe I said that I am
myself I can’t believe I said that I am
myself I can’t believe I said that I am so stupid and in that moment I am no
so stupid and in that moment I am no
so stupid and in that moment I am no longer Brian Baker amazing human I am he
longer Brian Baker amazing human I am he
longer Brian Baker amazing human I am he who says stupid things and we do it with
who says stupid things and we do it with
who says stupid things and we do it with strangers like that someone cuts us off
strangers like that someone cuts us off
strangers like that someone cuts us off in traffic and we don’t think oh I wish
in traffic and we don’t think oh I wish
in traffic and we don’t think oh I wish they made a different driving choice you
they made a different driving choice you
they made a different driving choice you think what an idiot we look at them as
think what an idiot we look at them as
think what an idiot we look at them as something less than human and we do it
something less than human and we do it
something less than human and we do it with groups of people millions of people
with groups of people millions of people
with groups of people millions of people people that my
people that my
people that my support a different political candidate
support a different political candidate
support a different political candidate or have support a social view that’s
or have support a social view that’s
or have support a social view that’s different than ours and it’s not just
different than ours and it’s not just
different than ours and it’s not just that we disagree but we disdain and even
that we disagree but we disdain and even
that we disagree but we disdain and even more so when we are in groups of
more so when we are in groups of
more so when we are in groups of like-minded friends smugly
like-minded friends smugly
like-minded friends smugly congratulating ourselves that were not
congratulating ourselves that were not
congratulating ourselves that were not like them you could make the case that
like them you could make the case that
like them you could make the case that this is the fatal flaw in the human
this is the fatal flaw in the human
this is the fatal flaw in the human condition
condition
condition the way that we judge ourselves and one
the way that we judge ourselves and one
the way that we judge ourselves and one another based on the worst we have done
another based on the worst we have done
another based on the worst we have done rather than the best we could be I
rather than the best we could be I
rather than the best we could be I believe that that is the point of the
believe that that is the point of the
believe that that is the point of the story of Adam and Eve this creation myth
story of Adam and Eve this creation myth
story of Adam and Eve this creation myth that’s at the foundation of three of the
that’s at the foundation of three of the
that’s at the foundation of three of the world’s major religions was written
world’s major religions was written
world’s major religions was written 2,500 years ago to answer one question
2,500 years ago to answer one question
2,500 years ago to answer one question why are we such a mess and in this story
why are we such a mess and in this story
why are we such a mess and in this story God creates the heavens and the earth
God creates the heavens and the earth
God creates the heavens and the earth and God says this is awesome this is
and God says this is awesome this is
and God says this is awesome this is very good and God turns to the humans
very good and God turns to the humans
very good and God turns to the humans and says enjoy and everything will be
and says enjoy and everything will be
and says enjoy and everything will be okay as long as you don’t do one thing
okay as long as you don’t do one thing
okay as long as you don’t do one thing don’t eat the fruit of the tree of the
don’t eat the fruit of the tree of the
don’t eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil don’t judge
knowledge of good and evil don’t judge
knowledge of good and evil don’t judge what I have created and called good
what I have created and called good
what I have created and called good don’t judge it as evil and of course
don’t judge it as evil and of course
don’t judge it as evil and of course they eat the fruit and the next thing
they eat the fruit and the next thing
they eat the fruit and the next thing they do is they look at their own pure
they do is they look at their own pure
they do is they look at their own pure unclothed human form and they go like
unclothed human form and they go like
unclothed human form and they go like this they judge themselves as evil I’m
this they judge themselves as evil I’m
this they judge themselves as evil I’m so ugly I’m so fat I’m disgusting and
so ugly I’m so fat I’m disgusting and
so ugly I’m so fat I’m disgusting and they hide in the bushes and then God
they hide in the bushes and then God
they hide in the bushes and then God comes walking through the garden and the
comes walking through the garden and the
comes walking through the garden and the Adam and Eve instead of running out and
Adam and Eve instead of running out and
Adam and Eve instead of running out and greeting God and holding hands and
greeting God and holding hands and
greeting God and holding hands and chatting as they they walk through the
chatting as they they walk through the
chatting as they they walk through the garden they hide in the bushes and God
garden they hide in the bushes and God
garden they hide in the bushes and God says where are you and they say we can’t
says where are you and they say we can’t
says where are you and they say we can’t come out we’re naked and and God’s heart
come out we’re naked and and God’s heart
come out we’re naked and and God’s heart breaks who told you you were naked
breaks who told you you were naked
breaks who told you you were naked Adham blame eat blames Eve Eve blames
Adham blame eat blames Eve Eve blames
Adham blame eat blames Eve Eve blames the serpent Cain kills Abel and here we
the serpent Cain kills Abel and here we
the serpent Cain kills Abel and here we are looking at one another with disdain
are looking at one another with disdain
are looking at one another with disdain and disgust we can hardly talk to each
and disgust we can hardly talk to each
and disgust we can hardly talk to each other but it doesn’t have to be this way
other but it doesn’t have to be this way
other but it doesn’t have to be this way that story was written to hold up a
that story was written to hold up a
that story was written to hold up a mirror to show us what we are doing
mirror to show us what we are doing
mirror to show us what we are doing wrong so that we can change and I would
wrong so that we can change and I would
wrong so that we can change and I would like to propose three spiritual
like to propose three spiritual
like to propose three spiritual practices that can help us be less judgy
practices that can help us be less judgy
practices that can help us be less judgy to help us look at ourselves and one
to help us look at ourselves and one
to help us look at ourselves and one another and other people through the
another and other people through the
another and other people through the eyes of love the first is to pay
eyes of love the first is to pay
eyes of love the first is to pay attention to your thoughts
attention to your thoughts
attention to your thoughts you know our inner critic our judgy
you know our inner critic our judgy
you know our inner critic our judgy brain kicks in and we don’t even notice
brain kicks in and we don’t even notice
brain kicks in and we don’t even notice it so pay attention be mindful of when
it so pay attention be mindful of when
it so pay attention be mindful of when you start cutting yourself down or
you start cutting yourself down or
you start cutting yourself down or diminishing other people any thinking
diminishing other people any thinking
diminishing other people any thinking that leads to division did you know that
that leads to division did you know that
that leads to division did you know that the root word for the net word devil
the root word for the net word devil
the root word for the net word devil means to divide the devil is in the
means to divide the devil is in the
means to divide the devil is in the business of dividing and I believe any
business of dividing and I believe any
business of dividing and I believe any thinking any speaking that divides
thinking any speaking that divides
thinking any speaking that divides people one from another any media that
people one from another any media that
people one from another any media that we consume that divides people is of the
we consume that divides people is of the
we consume that divides people is of the devil and it’s not healthy and if we
devil and it’s not healthy and if we
devil and it’s not healthy and if we could be mindful of it and think of it
could be mindful of it and think of it
could be mindful of it and think of it and realize it’s not healthy we can
and realize it’s not healthy we can
and realize it’s not healthy we can begin to allow it to diminish the second
begin to allow it to diminish the second
begin to allow it to diminish the second spiritual practice I want to propose is
spiritual practice I want to propose is
spiritual practice I want to propose is that we assume that every human on the
that we assume that every human on the
that we assume that every human on the face of the earth is doing the best that
face of the earth is doing the best that
face of the earth is doing the best that they can we have no idea what people are
they can we have no idea what people are
they can we have no idea what people are struggling with everybody is paralyzed
struggling with everybody is paralyzed
struggling with everybody is paralyzed by fear and insecurity and judgment and
by fear and insecurity and judgment and
by fear and insecurity and judgment and we don’t know the ways that they have
we don’t know the ways that they have
we don’t know the ways that they have been abused or are being abused or the
been abused or are being abused or the
been abused or are being abused or the addictions they’re struggling with we
addictions they’re struggling with we
addictions they’re struggling with we don’t know how they were raised
don’t know how they were raised
don’t know how they were raised I believe I mean it’s a miracle we are
I believe I mean it’s a miracle we are
I believe I mean it’s a miracle we are as good as we are to one another given
as good as we are to one another given
as good as we are to one another given our backstories and what we’re
our backstories and what we’re
our backstories and what we’re struggling with I have a friend whose
struggling with I have a friend whose
struggling with I have a friend whose granny barb used to say everybody’s
granny barb used to say everybody’s
granny barb used to say everybody’s doing the best they can
doing the best they can
doing the best they can and sometimes their best is pretty
and sometimes their best is pretty
and sometimes their best is pretty shitty sometimes my best is pretty
shitty sometimes my best is pretty
shitty sometimes my best is pretty shitty but it’s the best I can do and
shitty but it’s the best I can do and
shitty but it’s the best I can do and third is to cultivate a curiosity about
third is to cultivate a curiosity about
third is to cultivate a curiosity about other people particularly people that
other people particularly people that
other people particularly people that you disagree with or don’t like
you disagree with or don’t like
you disagree with or don’t like cultivate a curiosity about who they
cultivate a curiosity about who they
cultivate a curiosity about who they really are behind your prejudice or your
really are behind your prejudice or your
really are behind your prejudice or your judgment the people are too fascinating
judgment the people are too fascinating
judgment the people are too fascinating to write off so quickly I was given an
to write off so quickly I was given an
to write off so quickly I was given an opportunity to practice this third
opportunity to practice this third
opportunity to practice this third spiritual discipline a year ago when my
spiritual discipline a year ago when my
spiritual discipline a year ago when my daughter Laura invited me to come to
daughter Laura invited me to come to
daughter Laura invited me to come to Burning Man my daughter who is this 22
Burning Man my daughter who is this 22
Burning Man my daughter who is this 22 she was a 22 year old dreadlock tattooed
she was a 22 year old dreadlock tattooed
she was a 22 year old dreadlock tattooed I’m more of a Buddhist who invited her
I’m more of a Buddhist who invited her
I’m more of a Buddhist who invited her West Point graduate Army veteran
West Point graduate Army veteran
West Point graduate Army veteran Episcopal priest father to come to
Episcopal priest father to come to
Episcopal priest father to come to Burning Man with her and at Burning Man
Burning Man with her and at Burning Man
Burning Man with her and at Burning Man I encountered lots of people that I
I encountered lots of people that I
I encountered lots of people that I might have you know been judgy about but
might have you know been judgy about but
might have you know been judgy about but this place encouraged me to be better
this place encouraged me to be better
this place encouraged me to be better than that
than that
than that and I want to tell you one story and
and I want to tell you one story and
and I want to tell you one story and that is prior to coming to Burning Man I
that is prior to coming to Burning Man I
that is prior to coming to Burning Man I received a message from a woman in my
received a message from a woman in my
received a message from a woman in my congregation and she said I go to
congregation and she said I go to
congregation and she said I go to Burning Man every year and I stay at a
Burning Man every year and I stay at a
Burning Man every year and I stay at a camp called poly Paradise and I hope
camp called poly Paradise and I hope
camp called poly Paradise and I hope that we can connect now my daughter had
that we can connect now my daughter had
that we can connect now my daughter had chose for us to stay at Camp perky parts
chose for us to stay at Camp perky parts
chose for us to stay at Camp perky parts which was a mannequin themed camp
which was a mannequin themed camp
which was a mannequin themed camp so I was thinking poly paradise maybe
so I was thinking poly paradise maybe
so I was thinking poly paradise maybe that’s a polyester themed camp and they
that’s a polyester themed camp and they
that’s a polyester themed camp and they wear clothes from the 70s like I wore in
wear clothes from the 70s like I wore in
wear clothes from the 70s like I wore in in high school and it was Thursday night
in high school and it was Thursday night
in high school and it was Thursday night the night of my camps song Thursday
the night of my camps song Thursday
the night of my camps song Thursday party when this woman from my church and
party when this woman from my church and
party when this woman from my church and I linked up and she came up to me and
I linked up and she came up to me and
I linked up and she came up to me and the first thing that she said was I am
the first thing that she said was I am
the first thing that she said was I am so sorry I haven’t been to church lately
so sorry I haven’t been to church lately
so sorry I haven’t been to church lately but you know I’m staying at a camp
but you know I’m staying at a camp
but you know I’m staying at a camp called poly Paradise and that’s a camp
called poly Paradise and that’s a camp
called poly Paradise and that’s a camp for people in polyamorous relationships
for people in polyamorous relationships
for people in polyamorous relationships and while my husband lives in Sacramento
and while my husband lives in Sacramento
and while my husband lives in Sacramento my boyfriend
my boyfriend
my boyfriend lives in San Francisco and on weekends
lives in San Francisco and on weekends
lives in San Francisco and on weekends I’m with my boyfriend in San Francisco
I’m with my boyfriend in San Francisco
I’m with my boyfriend in San Francisco which is why I haven’t been able to go
which is why I haven’t been able to go
which is why I haven’t been able to go to church lately so the first thing that
to church lately so the first thing that
to church lately so the first thing that pops in my mind is so the thing you’re
pops in my mind is so the thing you’re
pops in my mind is so the thing you’re confessing is you haven’t been to church
confessing is you haven’t been to church
confessing is you haven’t been to church lately and your justification is you’re
lately and your justification is you’re
lately and your justification is you’re with your boyfriend and not your husband
with your boyfriend and not your husband
with your boyfriend and not your husband but the second thing that popped in my
but the second thing that popped in my
but the second thing that popped in my mind was how cool that you’re telling me
mind was how cool that you’re telling me
mind was how cool that you’re telling me this and that you trust me to look at
this and that you trust me to look at
this and that you trust me to look at you through the eyes of love and not run
you through the eyes of love and not run
you through the eyes of love and not run away screaming and she and I’ve been to
away screaming and she and I’ve been to
away screaming and she and I’ve been to lunch several times since then and I
lunch several times since then and I
lunch several times since then and I learned from her the courage that hurt
learned from her the courage that hurt
learned from her the courage that hurt it took for her to tell me her truth and
it took for her to tell me her truth and
it took for her to tell me her truth and she has been we have become much better
she has been we have become much better
she has been we have become much better friends now that I know this about her
friends now that I know this about her
friends now that I know this about her than if she had kept it secret the world
than if she had kept it secret the world
than if she had kept it secret the world now is too dangerous and too beautiful
now is too dangerous and too beautiful
now is too dangerous and too beautiful for anything but love may your eyes be
for anything but love may your eyes be
for anything but love may your eyes be so blessed you see God in every one your
so blessed you see God in every one your
so blessed you see God in every one your ears so you hear the cry of the poor may
ears so you hear the cry of the poor may
ears so you hear the cry of the poor may your lips be so blessed you speak
your lips be so blessed you speak
your lips be so blessed you speak nothing but the truth in love and your
nothing but the truth in love and your
nothing but the truth in love and your hands so that everything you touch is a
hands so that everything you touch is a
hands so that everything you touch is a sacrament may your feet be so blessed to
sacrament may your feet be so blessed to
sacrament may your feet be so blessed to you run to those who need you and may
you run to those who need you and may
you run to those who need you and may your heart be so opened so set on fire
your heart be so opened so set on fire
your heart be so opened so set on fire that your love your love changes
that your love your love changes
that your love your love changes everything
everything
everything amen
[Music]
[Music] thank you so much
”
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