[Music] I’ve faced my death at 23 years old I
I’ve faced my death at 23 years old I
I’ve faced my death at 23 years old I face my mortality
face my mortality
face my mortality [Music]
[Music]
[Music] I was this skinny young overly confident
I was this skinny young overly confident
I was this skinny young overly confident wild young man
nobody’s ever ready for any type of
nobody’s ever ready for any type of crucible or test like that
crucible or test like that
crucible or test like that [Music]
everything just went to 11 in about one
everything just went to 11 in about one second
and I thought I was hit because some of
and I thought I was hit because some of the shrapnel hit the back of my neck
[Music]
[Music] and then the fire just became
and then the fire just became
and then the fire just became overwhelming
[Music]
[Music] I don’t have a lot of memories I don’t
I don’t have a lot of memories I don’t
I don’t have a lot of memories I don’t know if it’s just I’m repressing it and
know if it’s just I’m repressing it and
know if it’s just I’m repressing it and I don’t want to remember I just don’t
I don’t want to remember I just don’t
I don’t want to remember I just don’t remember it seemed like time kind of
remember it seemed like time kind of
remember it seemed like time kind of slowed down I froze but the gunfire was
slowed down I froze but the gunfire was
slowed down I froze but the gunfire was going at a different speed you don’t
going at a different speed you don’t
going at a different speed you don’t know how to explain that
it’s very fragmented and jagged in the
it’s very fragmented and jagged in the memory it jumps straight from one scene
memory it jumps straight from one scene
memory it jumps straight from one scene to the next scene then on to the next
to the next scene then on to the next
to the next scene then on to the next scene
scene
scene I come up pages flipped over real quick
all of it’s very bright but there’s no
all of it’s very bright but there’s no sound
I’ve got a very vivid memory of a woman
I’ve got a very vivid memory of a woman I can see it
her headscarf was blue like a like baby
her headscarf was blue like a like baby blue she’s covered in blood
blue she’s covered in blood
blue she’s covered in blood she’s screaming in crime
she’s screaming in crime
she’s screaming in crime one of our guys had put down one of
one of our guys had put down one of
one of our guys had put down one of their guys like right there by that
their guys like right there by that
their guys like right there by that doorstep
there’s no sound even though I know she
there’s no sound even though I know she was screaming
the memory stops and then it jumps
the memory stops and then it jumps straight to the next part where I had a
straight to the next part where I had a
straight to the next part where I had a very very clear picture of myself
very very clear picture of myself
very very clear picture of myself standing outside myself
seeing the women and I’m yelling at him
seeing the women and I’m yelling at him I can still see one of the ladies faces
I can still see one of the ladies faces
I can still see one of the ladies faces the traditional Arab woman she looked
the traditional Arab woman she looked
the traditional Arab woman she looked like she would surprise somebody grandma
like she would surprise somebody grandma
like she would surprise somebody grandma you know was holding a baby you know I
you know was holding a baby you know I
you know was holding a baby you know I think about that memory all the time
think about that memory all the time
think about that memory all the time they’re unwilling participants in an
they’re unwilling participants in an
they’re unwilling participants in an ambush we were too they just had no way
ambush we were too they just had no way
ambush we were too they just had no way to fight back
all my members are out centre I’m lost
all my members are out centre I’m lost and I’m still in the middle of it by the
and I’m still in the middle of it by the
and I’m still in the middle of it by the same time you know everything just
same time you know everything just
same time you know everything just fragmenting
I’m wondering if I would be ready to
I’m wondering if I would be ready to remember everything
going down that road it’s a lot harder
going down that road it’s a lot harder than actually being there at the moment
but um
but um maybe they’ve got the courage and the
maybe they’ve got the courage and the
maybe they’ve got the courage and the wisdom to do it now
I just need to build up the muscles for
I just need to build up the muscles for it
”
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