I just brought you into one of my memories I was living in Kuwait when I
memories I was living in Kuwait when I
memories I was living in Kuwait when I was 23 years old and I used to run along
was 23 years old and I used to run along
was 23 years old and I used to run along the corniche to the Kuwait towers and
the corniche to the Kuwait towers and
the corniche to the Kuwait towers and back listening to no doubt I’m just a
back listening to no doubt I’m just a
back listening to no doubt I’m just a girl and there was a bit of taste of
girl and there was a bit of taste of
girl and there was a bit of taste of irony in her lyrics a line just a girl
irony in her lyrics a line just a girl
irony in her lyrics a line just a girl yet she’s really strong punk rocker and
yet she’s really strong punk rocker and
yet she’s really strong punk rocker and there was a taste of irony in the sense
there was a taste of irony in the sense
there was a taste of irony in the sense that I miss female from the United
that I miss female from the United
that I miss female from the United States and I’m running in a country
States and I’m running in a country
States and I’m running in a country where women are really pushed down low
where women are really pushed down low
where women are really pushed down low low second-class and it also made me
low second-class and it also made me
low second-class and it also made me question well how much power do they
question well how much power do they
question well how much power do they even have and so that’s kind of where a
even have and so that’s kind of where a
even have and so that’s kind of where a lot of this started in my mind you’re
lot of this started in my mind you’re
lot of this started in my mind you’re going to hear me use the words boys
going to hear me use the words boys
going to hear me use the words boys girls females males today in my top and
girls females males today in my top and
girls females males today in my top and I want you to know that I do not use
I want you to know that I do not use
I want you to know that I do not use their traditional boxes for that that
their traditional boxes for that that
their traditional boxes for that that gender has a personality and
gender has a personality and
gender has a personality and characteristics and nonconformity and I
characteristics and nonconformity and I
characteristics and nonconformity and I invite you to be very open with those
invite you to be very open with those
invite you to be very open with those terms so my kids are in second third
terms so my kids are in second third
terms so my kids are in second third grade here at Colegio nueva Granada and
grade here at Colegio nueva Granada and
grade here at Colegio nueva Granada and they said to me mama we saw your face
they said to me mama we saw your face
they said to me mama we saw your face mother coaster your payment and I was so
mother coaster your payment and I was so
mother coaster your payment and I was so excited I had to run to campus and see
excited I had to run to campus and see
excited I had to run to campus and see it and I looked at the title my title
it and I looked at the title my title
it and I looked at the title my title this title kind of for the first time
this title kind of for the first time
this title kind of for the first time from a distance and I was a little
from a distance and I was a little
from a distance and I was a little worried I’m like okay I’m going to begin
worried I’m like okay I’m going to begin
worried I’m like okay I’m going to begin to teenagers and they’re going to see
to teenagers and they’re going to see
to teenagers and they’re going to see losing you have to lose it first and I’m
losing you have to lose it first and I’m
losing you have to lose it first and I’m so scared they’re gonna think just lose
so scared they’re gonna think just lose
so scared they’re gonna think just lose your virginity and then we’re all going
your virginity and then we’re all going
your virginity and then we’re all going to be cold and I was like oh my gosh
to be cold and I was like oh my gosh
to be cold and I was like oh my gosh okay
okay
okay I had change that now you’re going to
I had change that now you’re going to
I had change that now you’re going to change that in the future but what I
change that in the future but what I
change that in the future but what I meant by lose it was really talking to
meant by lose it was really talking to
meant by lose it was really talking to the females about losing that really
the females about losing that really
the females about losing that really mean
mean
mean inner dialogue we sometimes have when we
inner dialogue we sometimes have when we
inner dialogue we sometimes have when we look in the mirror and therefore also
look in the mirror and therefore also
look in the mirror and therefore also losing kind of the cut downs and
losing kind of the cut downs and
losing kind of the cut downs and put-downs we give to other females so
put-downs we give to other females so
put-downs we give to other females so this was my essential question do women
this was my essential question do women
this was my essential question do women more than men hold their core self value
more than men hold their core self value
more than men hold their core self value in their perception of their bodies and
in their perception of their bodies and
in their perception of their bodies and looks and if yes does that impact gender
looks and if yes does that impact gender
looks and if yes does that impact gender inequality and the answers are I don’t
inequality and the answers are I don’t
inequality and the answers are I don’t know and this is really a conversation
know and this is really a conversation
know and this is really a conversation starter that I hope that you’ll see me
starter that I hope that you’ll see me
starter that I hope that you’ll see me after the chat or the middle school and
after the chat or the middle school and
after the chat or the middle school and high school counselors all have my email
high school counselors all have my email
high school counselors all have my email I’d like to know what you think I’m
I’d like to know what you think I’m
I’d like to know what you think I’m going to share what I see and feel I
going to share what I see and feel I
going to share what I see and feel I believe it does impact but I don’t have
believe it does impact but I don’t have
believe it does impact but I don’t have a final answer on that and I believe
a final answer on that and I believe
a final answer on that and I believe that you’re a much better generation
that you’re a much better generation
that you’re a much better generation than my generation and so maybe it feels
than my generation and so maybe it feels
than my generation and so maybe it feels a lot different for you guys so I really
a lot different for you guys so I really
a lot different for you guys so I really want to hear from you so the global
want to hear from you so the global
want to hear from you so the global gender reporter studies the inequalities
gender reporter studies the inequalities
gender reporter studies the inequalities around the world and that some countries
around the world and that some countries
around the world and that some countries are doing better than others but
are doing better than others but
are doing better than others but globally they say we’ve reached our
globally they say we’ve reached our
globally they say we’ve reached our goals sixty-eight percent so if one
goals sixty-eight percent so if one
goals sixty-eight percent so if one hundred percent is 100 percent gender
hundred percent is 100 percent gender
hundred percent is 100 percent gender equality
equality
equality we’re only 68 percent there and then by
we’re only 68 percent there and then by
we’re only 68 percent there and then by their projections they say it’ll take a
their projections they say it’ll take a
their projections they say it’ll take a hundred and seventy years for global
hundred and seventy years for global
hundred and seventy years for global gender equality which is waiting room
gender equality which is waiting room
gender equality which is waiting room and again the reason why I’m talking to
and again the reason why I’m talking to
and again the reason why I’m talking to you is you are the future I’m moving
you is you are the future I’m moving
you is you are the future I’m moving you’re going to speak that
you’re going to speak that
you’re going to speak that big time um the Global Gender report
big time um the Global Gender report
big time um the Global Gender report looks at health education economics and
looks at health education economics and
looks at health education economics and politics and I’m just wondering if
politics and I’m just wondering if
politics and I’m just wondering if there’s another piece that we could look
there’s another piece that we could look
there’s another piece that we could look at so there are definitely systemic
at so there are definitely systemic
at so there are definitely systemic problems out there of why men and women
problems out there of why men and women
problems out there of why men and women globally aren’t equal and so we can look
globally aren’t equal and so we can look
globally aren’t equal and so we can look to the outside and say well this is what
to the outside and say well this is what
to the outside and say well this is what might be wrong but I’m going to ask us
might be wrong but I’m going to ask us
might be wrong but I’m going to ask us to look to the inside and when sometimes
to look to the inside and when sometimes
to look to the inside and when sometimes I feel like I can’t change things in my
I feel like I can’t change things in my
I feel like I can’t change things in my outer world I need to ask myself what
outer world I need to ask myself what
outer world I need to ask myself what could I do to change the inside so this
could I do to change the inside so this
could I do to change the inside so this is what I see just me personally growing
is what I see just me personally growing
is what I see just me personally growing up and having about 20 years now in
up and having about 20 years now in
up and having about 20 years now in education as a teacher and a counselor
education as a teacher and a counselor
education as a teacher and a counselor so I do see that there are inequalities
so I do see that there are inequalities
so I do see that there are inequalities but I see it i see qualities becoming
but I see it i see qualities becoming
but I see it i see qualities becoming much better than they were when I was a
much better than they were when I was a
much better than they were when I was a teenager and what I want to take off
teenager and what I want to take off
teenager and what I want to take off that table is beautifying there’s
that table is beautifying there’s
that table is beautifying there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look
nothing wrong with wanting to look
nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful so I’m not talking about that
beautiful so I’m not talking about that
beautiful so I’m not talking about that and in fact I think that there’s just as
and in fact I think that there’s just as
and in fact I think that there’s just as many girls and boys
many girls and boys
many girls and boys stand in front of the mirror for an hour
stand in front of the mirror for an hour
stand in front of the mirror for an hour before school starts as there’s just as
before school starts as there’s just as
before school starts as there’s just as many boys and girls that are like I
many boys and girls that are like I
many boys and girls that are like I don’t care how I look and the fact that
don’t care how I look and the fact that
don’t care how I look and the fact that we might go to the gym to feel good
we might go to the gym to feel good
we might go to the gym to feel good about ourselves and the fact that we
about ourselves and the fact that we
about ourselves and the fact that we think clothes to look good or do our
think clothes to look good or do our
think clothes to look good or do our hair all that is great there’s nothing
hair all that is great there’s nothing
hair all that is great there’s nothing wrong with that and I think it’s equal
wrong with that and I think it’s equal
wrong with that and I think it’s equal across genders and I’m also not talking
across genders and I’m also not talking
across genders and I’m also not talking about self-esteem a lot of research
about self-esteem a lot of research
about self-esteem a lot of research still shows that men and women have
still shows that men and women have
still shows that men and women have equal self-esteem and there’s just as
equal self-esteem and there’s just as
equal self-esteem and there’s just as many women that are confident as there
many women that are confident as there
many women that are confident as there are men so taking self esteem off the
are men so taking self esteem off the
are men so taking self esteem off the table and we’re kind of all equally up
table and we’re kind of all equally up
table and we’re kind of all equally up or down on the self esteem and when
or down on the self esteem and when
or down on the self esteem and when you’re in your adolescent years we’re
you’re in your adolescent years we’re
you’re in your adolescent years we’re kind of all down
kind of all down
kind of all down this view because we’re changing so fast
this view because we’re changing so fast
this view because we’re changing so fast we have a lot of self doubt and it’s
we have a lot of self doubt and it’s
we have a lot of self doubt and it’s kind of our ugliest phase I mean ask any
kind of our ugliest phase I mean ask any
kind of our ugliest phase I mean ask any adult to show you their middle school
adult to show you their middle school
adult to show you their middle school picture they’re like nothing’s two maybe
picture they’re like nothing’s two maybe
picture they’re like nothing’s two maybe more mom equally in adolescence on the
more mom equally in adolescence on the
more mom equally in adolescence on the lower end whereas when we get to a kind
lower end whereas when we get to a kind
lower end whereas when we get to a kind of university above we’re on the higher
of university above we’re on the higher
of university above we’re on the higher end I also see in developed societies
end I also see in developed societies
end I also see in developed societies like Clayton River Grenada ice emails
like Clayton River Grenada ice emails
like Clayton River Grenada ice emails wanting equality as much as females if
wanting equality as much as females if
wanting equality as much as females if you think about your fathers they wanted
you think about your fathers they wanted
you think about your fathers they wanted just as much as your mothers for you to
just as much as your mothers for you to
just as much as your mothers for you to have a great education and send you to
have a great education and send you to
have a great education and send you to this school you look at your teachers
this school you look at your teachers
this school you look at your teachers your male teachers want you just as much
your male teachers want you just as much
your male teachers want you just as much into the math and science as the arts
into the math and science as the arts
into the math and science as the arts and music as they want through both
and music as they want through both
and music as they want through both genders and you look at your classmates
genders and you look at your classmates
genders and you look at your classmates your the boys in class don’t litter in
your the boys in class don’t litter in
your the boys in class don’t litter in all my school they go to a coed school
all my school they go to a coed school
all my school they go to a coed school like having girls in class for whatever
like having girls in class for whatever
like having girls in class for whatever reason it’s a good thing I like to show
reason it’s a good thing I like to show
reason it’s a good thing I like to show up to class because you’re there all
up to class because you’re there all
up to class because you’re there all right so I see in developed areas the
right so I see in developed areas the
right so I see in developed areas the men taking part in it too so what I was
men taking part in it too so what I was
men taking part in it too so what I was feeling like I was feeling if you’re in
feeling like I was feeling if you’re in
feeling like I was feeling if you’re in a developed area like Glade November
a developed area like Glade November
a developed area like Glade November banana and there feels like there’s a
banana and there feels like there’s a
banana and there feels like there’s a lot of equality is there kind of still
lot of equality is there kind of still
lot of equality is there kind of still that missing piece and so I guess the
that missing piece and so I guess the
that missing piece and so I guess the way I perceive it males also have doubts
way I perceive it males also have doubts
way I perceive it males also have doubts about their bodies but I feel like a
about their bodies but I feel like a
about their bodies but I feel like a male will be like okay I could lose a
male will be like okay I could lose a
male will be like okay I could lose a few pounds or he’d go to the gym and put
few pounds or he’d go to the gym and put
few pounds or he’d go to the gym and put on muscle and that’s like this little
on muscle and that’s like this little
on muscle and that’s like this little part of my personality but I’m also
part of my personality but I’m also
part of my personality but I’m also braided this and smarted this and I love
braided this and smarted this and I love
braided this and smarted this and I love you
you
you these things and I perceive women being
these things and I perceive women being
these things and I perceive women being more like okay I’m graded this I’m
more like okay I’m graded this I’m
more like okay I’m graded this I’m really smart at this I love doing this
really smart at this I love doing this
really smart at this I love doing this and then you take it all away and you
and then you take it all away and you
and then you take it all away and you come down to my core and I’m like and I
come down to my core and I’m like and I
come down to my core and I’m like and I don’t like the way I look
don’t like the way I look
don’t like the way I look and I feel like that kind of carries in
and I feel like that kind of carries in
and I feel like that kind of carries in the center and they worry that that’s
the center and they worry that that’s
the center and they worry that that’s what holds us down and then I’m worried
what holds us down and then I’m worried
what holds us down and then I’m worried that we then tear each other females
that we then tear each other females
that we then tear each other females down because of that this is what I feel
down because of that this is what I feel
down because of that this is what I feel that okay you see the number one I just
that okay you see the number one I just
that okay you see the number one I just lost my audience okay boys are mean to
lost my audience okay boys are mean to
lost my audience okay boys are mean to boys are mean to but girls are mean in
boys are mean to but girls are mean in
boys are mean to but girls are mean in this like psychological warfare kind of
this like psychological warfare kind of
this like psychological warfare kind of thing like I feel like with when a guy
thing like I feel like with when a guy
thing like I feel like with when a guy is a jerk like a mean jerk the guy’s
is a jerk like a mean jerk the guy’s
is a jerk like a mean jerk the guy’s like hey I’m a jerk what and so you can
like hey I’m a jerk what and so you can
like hey I’m a jerk what and so you can decide if you want to take it or leave
decide if you want to take it or leave
decide if you want to take it or leave it it’s kind of all up front there but
it it’s kind of all up front there but
it it’s kind of all up front there but some of the meanest girls are like the
some of the meanest girls are like the
some of the meanest girls are like the teachers favorites because they’re know
teachers favorites because they’re know
teachers favorites because they’re know how to talk to adults they’re like
how to talk to adults they’re like
how to talk to adults they’re like popular and they’re even your friend
popular and they’re even your friend
popular and they’re even your friend because they know how to put on this
because they know how to put on this
because they know how to put on this surface thing look behind your back
surface thing look behind your back
surface thing look behind your back they’re like tearing you down I just
they’re like tearing you down I just
they’re like tearing you down I just feel like that a gender difference and I
feel like that a gender difference and I
feel like that a gender difference and I don’t know maybe you don’t feel that I
don’t know maybe you don’t feel that I
don’t know maybe you don’t feel that I did and I do
did and I do
did and I do um so if you like together it’s kind of
um so if you like together it’s kind of
um so if you like together it’s kind of like I think nails using competition as
like I think nails using competition as
like I think nails using competition as a way to motivate them to be better so
a way to motivate them to be better so
a way to motivate them to be better so if a guy is like okay that dudes my boss
if a guy is like okay that dudes my boss
if a guy is like okay that dudes my boss or that guy is the starting player on
or that guy is the starting player on
or that guy is the starting player on our team what can I do to get better so
our team what can I do to get better so
our team what can I do to get better so that I’m the boss and then
that I’m the boss and then
that I’m the boss and then in the starting player and I’m worried
in the starting player and I’m worried
in the starting player and I’m worried that girls and not all girls at all and
that girls and not all girls at all and
that girls and not all girls at all and maybe not girls at our school maybe
maybe not girls at our school maybe
maybe not girls at our school maybe elsewhere that girls tend to use
elsewhere that girls tend to use
elsewhere that girls tend to use competition as a way to validate their
competition as a way to validate their
competition as a way to validate their fears like hey that girl is my boss or
fears like hey that girl is my boss or
fears like hey that girl is my boss or that girl has a starting position so how
that girl has a starting position so how
that girl has a starting position so how can I tear her down so that she doesn’t
can I tear her down so that she doesn’t
can I tear her down so that she doesn’t have power over me and that’s what I
have power over me and that’s what I
have power over me and that’s what I worry about and that’s what I want to
worry about and that’s what I want to
worry about and that’s what I want to change and that’s what I just want to
change and that’s what I just want to
change and that’s what I just want to look at today so I don’t want to sound
look at today so I don’t want to sound
look at today so I don’t want to sound like I’m a total bummer
like I’m a total bummer
like I’m a total bummer and downer on females I love females I
and downer on females I love females I
and downer on females I love females I love the female I love myself
love the female I love myself
love the female I love myself some of my best friends are females okay
some of my best friends are females okay
some of my best friends are females okay so I’m definitely not being a downer um
so I’m definitely not being a downer um
so I’m definitely not being a downer um but what do I want to get out of this
but what do I want to get out of this
but what do I want to get out of this and yes that’s me um I’m not looking to
and yes that’s me um I’m not looking to
and yes that’s me um I’m not looking to be like a zero or a big changer but I
be like a zero or a big changer but I
be like a zero or a big changer but I wanted to use this as a conversation
wanted to use this as a conversation
wanted to use this as a conversation starter and and ask you guys to make
starter and and ask you guys to make
starter and and ask you guys to make some changes the thing is is that in
some changes the thing is is that in
some changes the thing is is that in adolescence you guys are making neural
adolescence you guys are making neural
adolescence you guys are making neural pathways in your brains you’re making
pathways in your brains you’re making
pathways in your brains you’re making them right now the ones that last and
them right now the ones that last and
them right now the ones that last and you’re pruning away all the stuff you
you’re pruning away all the stuff you
you’re pruning away all the stuff you don’t need so don’t don’t stay with that
don’t need so don’t don’t stay with that
don’t need so don’t don’t stay with that negative vibe you could change it right
negative vibe you could change it right
negative vibe you could change it right now and collectively I believe as women
now and collectively I believe as women
now and collectively I believe as women we rise up because of it
we rise up because of it
we rise up because of it so I’m asking the boys and the males and
so I’m asking the boys and the males and
so I’m asking the boys and the males and the audience continue to keep equality
the audience continue to keep equality
the audience continue to keep equality going as you’re doing please remember
going as you’re doing please remember
going as you’re doing please remember that the word feminism means equality it
that the word feminism means equality it
that the word feminism means equality it doesn’t mean girls rule so boys don’t be
doesn’t mean girls rule so boys don’t be
doesn’t mean girls rule so boys don’t be afraid to say you’re a feminist and
afraid to say you’re a feminist and
afraid to say you’re a feminist and girls please remember when you look in
girls please remember when you look in
girls please remember when you look in the mirror and you’re kind of putting
the mirror and you’re kind of putting
the mirror and you’re kind of putting yourself down and then you might then
yourself down and then you might then
yourself down and then you might then tear somebody else down another female
tear somebody else down another female
tear somebody else down another female down we just stayed down here in
down we just stayed down here in
down we just stayed down here in second-class you know let’s just kind of
second-class you know let’s just kind of
second-class you know let’s just kind of link arms together and rise up together
link arms together and rise up together
link arms together and rise up together all right
all right
all right [Applause]
”
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