hi everyone my name is Isabella Fonz and when I first learned that the theme for
when I first learned that the theme for
when I first learned that the theme for a whole TEDx endeavor was footprints my
a whole TEDx endeavor was footprints my
a whole TEDx endeavor was footprints my mind skipped straight over the whole
mind skipped straight over the whole
mind skipped straight over the whole metaphorical meaning of that I went
metaphorical meaning of that I went
metaphorical meaning of that I went straight to the literal one and what I
straight to the literal one and what I
straight to the literal one and what I mean by that is when you run you quite
mean by that is when you run you quite
mean by that is when you run you quite literally make footprints in the ground
literally make footprints in the ground
literally make footprints in the ground whether it’s your spikes digging holes
whether it’s your spikes digging holes
whether it’s your spikes digging holes in the mud in a cross-country race or
in the mud in a cross-country race or
in the mud in a cross-country race or you’re simply running on the pavement
you’re simply running on the pavement
you’re simply running on the pavement and you step into the puddle and your
and you step into the puddle and your
and you step into the puddle and your remaining steps are marked in the ground
remaining steps are marked in the ground
remaining steps are marked in the ground you make footprints but I’ll get back to
you make footprints but I’ll get back to
you make footprints but I’ll get back to that later
that later
that later first I did just want to address that
first I did just want to address that
first I did just want to address that although most TED Talks utilize some
although most TED Talks utilize some
although most TED Talks utilize some sort of study or research or
sort of study or research or
sort of study or research or quantitative information I don’t have
quantitative information I don’t have
quantitative information I don’t have any of that for you guys today but what
any of that for you guys today but what
any of that for you guys today but what I do have is a story and that’s okay
I do have is a story and that’s okay
I do have is a story and that’s okay because as brené Brown has said a story
because as brené Brown has said a story
because as brené Brown has said a story is just data with a soul so today I have
is just data with a soul so today I have
is just data with a soul so today I have a little bit of data with a lot of soul
a little bit of data with a lot of soul
a little bit of data with a lot of soul so my story gets started back when I was
so my story gets started back when I was
so my story gets started back when I was a freshman these summer before my first
a freshman these summer before my first
a freshman these summer before my first year of high school I was a tiny little
year of high school I was a tiny little
year of high school I was a tiny little thing
thing
thing I was 411 on like five foot like I am
I was 411 on like five foot like I am
I was 411 on like five foot like I am right now so just absolutely small and I
right now so just absolutely small and I
right now so just absolutely small and I was just obsessed or infatuated with
was just obsessed or infatuated with
was just obsessed or infatuated with this goal that I had that I was going to
this goal that I had that I was going to
this goal that I had that I was going to run at the Nike cross Nationals cross
run at the Nike cross Nationals cross
run at the Nike cross Nationals cross country championship in Portland Oregon
country championship in Portland Oregon
country championship in Portland Oregon which only 200 girls a year qualify for
which only 200 girls a year qualify for
which only 200 girls a year qualify for easy goal right and so this is a picture
easy goal right and so this is a picture
easy goal right and so this is a picture of me at Nationals that year that’s
of me at Nationals that year that’s
of me at Nationals that year that’s right it’s just the course because I
right it’s just the course because I
right it’s just the course because I wasn’t there and now that you know the
wasn’t there and now that you know the
wasn’t there and now that you know the end to my stellar freshman cross-country
end to my stellar freshman cross-country
end to my stellar freshman cross-country season we’re gonna go back to the
season we’re gonna go back to the
season we’re gonna go back to the beginning so little freshmen me believed
beginning so little freshmen me believed
beginning so little freshmen me believed that a goal without a plan was a dream
that a goal without a plan was a dream
that a goal without a plan was a dream that’s a sham and so the way I was going
that’s a sham and so the way I was going
that’s a sham and so the way I was going to approach my extremely attainable goal
to approach my extremely attainable goal
to approach my extremely attainable goal was to run myself right into the ground
was to run myself right into the ground
was to run myself right into the ground and run myself into the ground I did
and run myself into the ground I did
and run myself into the ground I did every morning that summer I would wake
every morning that summer I would wake
every morning that summer I would wake up and I would picture myself at Nike
up and I would picture myself at Nike
up and I would picture myself at Nike cross Nationals and I would go to
cross Nationals and I would go to
cross Nationals and I would go to practice and run as hard as I could and
practice and run as hard as I could and
practice and run as hard as I could and maybe even go home and run some more in
maybe even go home and run some more in
maybe even go home and run some more in fact there was this two point five six
fact there was this two point five six
fact there was this two point five six mile loop that we would run every Friday
mile loop that we would run every Friday
mile loop that we would run every Friday and every Friday I would go home and run
and every Friday I would go home and run
and every Friday I would go home and run the remaining point four four miles by
the remaining point four four miles by
the remaining point four four miles by myself on the treadmill because no one
myself on the treadmill because no one
myself on the treadmill because no one that ends up at Nike cross Nationals
that ends up at Nike cross Nationals
that ends up at Nike cross Nationals leaves their runs at such unrounded
leaves their runs at such unrounded
leaves their runs at such unrounded numbers that is just absurd and I was
numbers that is just absurd and I was
numbers that is just absurd and I was conditioned to think this way and act
conditioned to think this way and act
conditioned to think this way and act this way through posts I saw on
this way through posts I saw on
this way through posts I saw on Instagram or draping the walls of
Instagram or draping the walls of
Instagram or draping the walls of running stores or in the podcast that I
running stores or in the podcast that I
running stores or in the podcast that I would listen to for two hours on Sundays
would listen to for two hours on Sundays
would listen to for two hours on Sundays while biking even though I was not
while biking even though I was not
while biking even though I was not supposed to be doing things like that
supposed to be doing things like that
supposed to be doing things like that things such as perfect practice makes
things such as perfect practice makes
things such as perfect practice makes perfect
perfect
perfect hard work beats talent when Talent fails
hard work beats talent when Talent fails
hard work beats talent when Talent fails to work hard pain is temporary but
to work hard pain is temporary but
to work hard pain is temporary but victory is forever wishes don’t win
victory is forever wishes don’t win
victory is forever wishes don’t win races you’re not going to get the but
races you’re not going to get the but
races you’re not going to get the but you want by sitting on it and to top it
you want by sitting on it and to top it
you want by sitting on it and to top it all off if you’re not going to be the
all off if you’re not going to be the
all off if you’re not going to be the best at something then don’t do it at
best at something then don’t do it at
best at something then don’t do it at all
all
all hashtag Monday motivation we all know
hashtag Monday motivation we all know
hashtag Monday motivation we all know people who post things like this on
people who post things like this on
people who post things like this on Facebook and my very first cross-country
Facebook and my very first cross-country
Facebook and my very first cross-country race I learned that although wishes
race I learned that although wishes
race I learned that although wishes indeed do not win races um neither does
indeed do not win races um neither does
indeed do not win races um neither does wasting all of your energy on the start
wasting all of your energy on the start
wasting all of your energy on the start line crying because you’re so nervous
line crying because you’re so nervous
line crying because you’re so nervous needless to say I had an awful day I was
needless to say I had an awful day I was
needless to say I had an awful day I was tired nervous anxious overtrained
tired nervous anxious overtrained
tired nervous anxious overtrained like really overtrained and I still felt
like really overtrained and I still felt
like really overtrained and I still felt this insane possibility that I would run
this insane possibility that I would run
this insane possibility that I would run at Nationals that year and um every week
at Nationals that year and um every week
at Nationals that year and um every week before my race I would tell myself that
before my race I would tell myself that
before my race I would tell myself that this was going to be the day and after
this was going to be the day and after
this was going to be the day and after every race I would learn that it was in
every race I would learn that it was in
every race I would learn that it was in fact not my day and every Saturday at
fact not my day and every Saturday at
fact not my day and every Saturday at about 10 a.m. I would look a little
about 10 a.m. I would look a little
about 10 a.m. I would look a little something like that definitely tears
something like that definitely tears
something like that definitely tears they’re Yanks and at the end of that
they’re Yanks and at the end of that
they’re Yanks and at the end of that first cross-country season my goals of
first cross-country season my goals of
first cross-country season my goals of running at nationals were unfeasible
running at nationals were unfeasible
running at nationals were unfeasible I could barely do our workouts anymore
I could barely do our workouts anymore
I could barely do our workouts anymore and even that easy 2.5 6 mile loop in
and even that easy 2.5 6 mile loop in
and even that easy 2.5 6 mile loop in which I would still go home and run the
which I would still go home and run the
which I would still go home and run the extra point for 4 miles by myself was
extra point for 4 miles by myself was
extra point for 4 miles by myself was treacherous to even think about jogging
treacherous to even think about jogging
treacherous to even think about jogging a terrible season by any explanation all
a terrible season by any explanation all
a terrible season by any explanation all caused by this extraneous internal
caused by this extraneous internal
caused by this extraneous internal pressure I put on myself to be the best
pressure I put on myself to be the best
pressure I put on myself to be the best at something to be perfect at something
at something to be perfect at something
at something to be perfect at something and so the next season I was a sophomore
and so the next season I was a sophomore
and so the next season I was a sophomore I was 5 feet tall at this time um I had
I was 5 feet tall at this time um I had
I was 5 feet tall at this time um I had stopped caring if I was a good runner I
stopped caring if I was a good runner I
stopped caring if I was a good runner I figured I had hit the bottom the year
figured I had hit the bottom the year
figured I had hit the bottom the year before and there would be no chance at
before and there would be no chance at
before and there would be no chance at Nationals ever which is still kind of
Nationals ever which is still kind of
Nationals ever which is still kind of true but with that season I didn’t go
true but with that season I didn’t go
true but with that season I didn’t go home and run the extra point for 4 miles
home and run the extra point for 4 miles
home and run the extra point for 4 miles after running the loop I didn’t absorb
after running the loop I didn’t absorb
after running the loop I didn’t absorb the running store posters that afflicted
the running store posters that afflicted
the running store posters that afflicted my good judgment and to put it quite
my good judgment and to put it quite
my good judgment and to put it quite simply I stopped caring if I was a good
simply I stopped caring if I was a good
simply I stopped caring if I was a good runner because why should I care if I
runner because why should I care if I
runner because why should I care if I wasn’t going to be the best at something
wasn’t going to be the best at something
wasn’t going to be the best at something but without all of the pressure or
but without all of the pressure or
but without all of the pressure or pursuit of perfection I had an amazing
pursuit of perfection I had an amazing
pursuit of perfection I had an amazing season not Nationals caliber but I
season not Nationals caliber but I
season not Nationals caliber but I placed at some races and I didn’t cry
placed at some races and I didn’t cry
placed at some races and I didn’t cry before races and I didn’t start to dread
before races and I didn’t start to dread
before races and I didn’t start to dread Fridays unlike every other high schooler
Fridays unlike every other high schooler
Fridays unlike every other high schooler in the country because I was so nervous
in the country because I was so nervous
in the country because I was so nervous to race the next day and most
to race the next day and most
to race the next day and most importantly I had a lot of fun my
importantly I had a lot of fun my
importantly I had a lot of fun my Saturday’s at 10:00 a.m. went from
Saturday’s at 10:00 a.m. went from
Saturday’s at 10:00 a.m. went from looking like this to looking like this
looking like this to looking like this
looking like this to looking like this smiling sometimes at the medal and I had
smiling sometimes at the medal and I had
smiling sometimes at the medal and I had fun after like a normal person like you
fun after like a normal person like you
fun after like a normal person like you can see here with our event manager
can see here with our event manager
can see here with our event manager Kirsten though I don’t really know what
Kirsten though I don’t really know what
Kirsten though I don’t really know what we were doing um my exploration from
we were doing um my exploration from
we were doing um my exploration from being on the pursuit of perfection to
being on the pursuit of perfection to
being on the pursuit of perfection to completely turning around my mentality
completely turning around my mentality
completely turning around my mentality to being kind of decent at something
to being kind of decent at something
to being kind of decent at something that I loved can all be summed up and
that I loved can all be summed up and
that I loved can all be summed up and this one quote that I found one night
this one quote that I found one night
this one quote that I found one night from John Steinbeck and now that you
from John Steinbeck and now that you
from John Steinbeck and now that you don’t have to be perfect you can be good
don’t have to be perfect you can be good
don’t have to be perfect you can be good and in hindsight I wonder what if that
and in hindsight I wonder what if that
and in hindsight I wonder what if that quote now that you don’t have to be
quote now that you don’t have to be
quote now that you don’t have to be perfect you can be good was Jay
perfect you can be good was Jay
perfect you can be good was Jay the walls of running stores are on
the walls of running stores are on
the walls of running stores are on Instagram would I have gone to Nationals
Instagram would I have gone to Nationals
Instagram would I have gone to Nationals my freshman year or at least not cried
my freshman year or at least not cried
my freshman year or at least not cried before every race running in high school
before every race running in high school
before every race running in high school didn’t lead me to where I thought it
didn’t lead me to where I thought it
didn’t lead me to where I thought it would I ran away from self-inflicted
would I ran away from self-inflicted
would I ran away from self-inflicted stress and pressure and toward learning
stress and pressure and toward learning
stress and pressure and toward learning to love myself and celebrate myself so
to love myself and celebrate myself so
to love myself and celebrate myself so everyone in this audience knows a
everyone in this audience knows a
everyone in this audience knows a self-proclaimed perfectionist or is a
self-proclaimed perfectionist or is a
self-proclaimed perfectionist or is a self-proclaimed perfectionist but what I
self-proclaimed perfectionist but what I
self-proclaimed perfectionist but what I don’t think most people realize is that
don’t think most people realize is that
don’t think most people realize is that perfectionism is just a euphemism for a
perfectionism is just a euphemism for a
perfectionism is just a euphemism for a mental trap it is evident in so many
mental trap it is evident in so many
mental trap it is evident in so many mental disorders anxiety OCD eating
mental disorders anxiety OCD eating
mental disorders anxiety OCD eating disorders and it is also evident in so
disorders and it is also evident in so
disorders and it is also evident in so many normal aspects of life the adult
many normal aspects of life the adult
many normal aspects of life the adult who will work 14-hour days just to
who will work 14-hour days just to
who will work 14-hour days just to satisfy their boss but will sacrifice
satisfy their boss but will sacrifice
satisfy their boss but will sacrifice family dinners at the table or the
family dinners at the table or the
family dinners at the table or the student who will get into MIT but not
student who will get into MIT but not
student who will get into MIT but not Stanford will feel dumb or the author
Stanford will feel dumb or the author
Stanford will feel dumb or the author who has written 17 books but hasn’t even
who has written 17 books but hasn’t even
who has written 17 books but hasn’t even tried to publish one due to fear of
tried to publish one due to fear of
tried to publish one due to fear of rejection or the artist who keeps
rejection or the artist who keeps
rejection or the artist who keeps painting the same painting over and over
painting the same painting over and over
painting the same painting over and over but just gets tired and stops making art
but just gets tired and stops making art
but just gets tired and stops making art or the playwright whose play will never
or the playwright whose play will never
or the playwright whose play will never come to fruition onstage because their
come to fruition onstage because their
come to fruition onstage because their play is never right ok so now you may be
play is never right ok so now you may be
play is never right ok so now you may be wondering how do I just stop being a
wondering how do I just stop being a
wondering how do I just stop being a perfectionist do I just throw in the
perfectionist do I just throw in the
perfectionist do I just throw in the towel or give up or aim for something
towel or give up or aim for something
towel or give up or aim for something lower than I know that I can do and the
lower than I know that I can do and the
lower than I know that I can do and the answer is no you don’t do any of that
answer is no you don’t do any of that
answer is no you don’t do any of that breaking free from perfectionism isn’t
breaking free from perfectionism isn’t
breaking free from perfectionism isn’t about being perfect at not being perfect
about being perfect at not being perfect
about being perfect at not being perfect breaking free from perfectionism isn’t
breaking free from perfectionism isn’t
breaking free from perfectionism isn’t about mediocrity or ceasing to work hard
about mediocrity or ceasing to work hard
about mediocrity or ceasing to work hard I still work really hard to be a great
I still work really hard to be a great
I still work really hard to be a great runner but the difference is I’m not
runner but the difference is I’m not
runner but the difference is I’m not scared that I won’t be good enough there
scared that I won’t be good enough there
scared that I won’t be good enough there is this really thick gray area between
is this really thick gray area between
is this really thick gray area between being perfect and
being perfect and
being perfect and giving up and while the gray area is a
giving up and while the gray area is a
giving up and while the gray area is a kind of awkward place to navigate
kind of awkward place to navigate
kind of awkward place to navigate through it’s really rewarding the gray
through it’s really rewarding the gray
through it’s really rewarding the gray area is about recognizing little
area is about recognizing little
area is about recognizing little successes here and there and using that
successes here and there and using that
successes here and there and using that as motivation to keep going it’s about
as motivation to keep going it’s about
as motivation to keep going it’s about recognizing that once you recognize your
recognizing that once you recognize your
recognizing that once you recognize your little successes it all kind of
little successes it all kind of
little successes it all kind of culminates and someone really big
culminates and someone really big
culminates and someone really big success it’s about maybe failing at
success it’s about maybe failing at
success it’s about maybe failing at reaching a big goal but still having the
reaching a big goal but still having the
reaching a big goal but still having the courage to resolve it’s about realizing
courage to resolve it’s about realizing
courage to resolve it’s about realizing that even if you’re not the brightest
that even if you’re not the brightest
that even if you’re not the brightest super star in the sky you’re still a
super star in the sky you’re still a
super star in the sky you’re still a light it’s about not bringing out not
light it’s about not bringing out not
light it’s about not bringing out not giving up it’s about finding new paths
giving up it’s about finding new paths
giving up it’s about finding new paths and it’s about having a little bit of
and it’s about having a little bit of
and it’s about having a little bit of fun along the way and in the end we
fun along the way and in the end we
fun along the way and in the end we don’t look up to perfectionist
don’t look up to perfectionist
don’t look up to perfectionist we don’t look up to people who will
we don’t look up to people who will
we don’t look up to people who will degrade themselves or spend all of their
degrade themselves or spend all of their
degrade themselves or spend all of their time complaining us someone that we want
time complaining us someone that we want
time complaining us someone that we want to be because most of the time we don’t
to be because most of the time we don’t
to be because most of the time we don’t even know that perfectionism is the
even know that perfectionism is the
even know that perfectionism is the cause of their anxious behavior instead
cause of their anxious behavior instead
cause of their anxious behavior instead we look up to people who embrace
we look up to people who embrace
we look up to people who embrace themselves and their imperfections we
themselves and their imperfections we
themselves and their imperfections we look up to people who are a little bit
look up to people who are a little bit
look up to people who are a little bit quirky or weird because that’s what
quirky or weird because that’s what
quirky or weird because that’s what makes us human and we weren’t born to be
makes us human and we weren’t born to be
makes us human and we weren’t born to be perfect we were born to be ourselves and
perfect we were born to be ourselves and
perfect we were born to be ourselves and if you recognize yourself in my story
if you recognize yourself in my story
if you recognize yourself in my story today I hope you can use this talk as
today I hope you can use this talk as
today I hope you can use this talk as your sign hanging up in the running
your sign hanging up in the running
your sign hanging up in the running store replacing whatever own mantras are
store replacing whatever own mantras are
store replacing whatever own mantras are idealizations that you may have with the
idealizations that you may have with the
idealizations that you may have with the idea that being perfect is what’s
idea that being perfect is what’s
idea that being perfect is what’s stopping you from being good and instead
stopping you from being good and instead
stopping you from being good and instead of finding the perfect symbolic metaphor
of finding the perfect symbolic metaphor
of finding the perfect symbolic metaphor or ending or pun to end my talk today I
or ending or pun to end my talk today I
or ending or pun to end my talk today I figured that just stopping here was good
figured that just stopping here was good
figured that just stopping here was good enough thank you
enough thank you
enough thank you [Applause]
”
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