[Applause] so how many of you have been skiing few
so how many of you have been skiing few
so how many of you have been skiing few of you how long should it take somebody
of you how long should it take somebody
of you how long should it take somebody to get down this mountain any ideas a
few seconds few minutes an hour okay
few seconds few minutes an hour okay mountains are often used as metaphors
mountains are often used as metaphors
mountains are often used as metaphors for reaching success you overcome
for reaching success you overcome
for reaching success you overcome obstacles and you reach that peak and
obstacles and you reach that peak and
obstacles and you reach that peak and many motivational speeches will follow
many motivational speeches will follow
many motivational speeches will follow that pattern but this isn’t one of them
that pattern but this isn’t one of them
that pattern but this isn’t one of them this is actually about the other side
this is actually about the other side
this is actually about the other side it’s about descending and maybe even
it’s about descending and maybe even
it’s about descending and maybe even falling and how that can have just as
falling and how that can have just as
falling and how that can have just as much of an impact on shaping who you are
much of an impact on shaping who you are
much of an impact on shaping who you are this is me on my very first skiing trip
this is me on my very first skiing trip
this is me on my very first skiing trip this winter we’re going to come back to
this winter we’re going to come back to
this winter we’re going to come back to the story in just a little bit first I
the story in just a little bit first I
the story in just a little bit first I want to tell you about my life as a
want to tell you about my life as a
want to tell you about my life as a Sherpa in 2012 I became the advisor for
Sherpa in 2012 I became the advisor for
Sherpa in 2012 I became the advisor for a leadership program called Renaissance
a leadership program called Renaissance
a leadership program called Renaissance which is now called grizzly achievement
which is now called grizzly achievement
which is now called grizzly achievement and that program is sponsored by Jostens
and that program is sponsored by Jostens
and that program is sponsored by Jostens and that company hired a life coach for
and that company hired a life coach for
and that company hired a life coach for me for my first year as advisor and in
me for my first year as advisor and in
me for my first year as advisor and in working with my life coach through a
working with my life coach through a
working with my life coach through a variety of activities and exercises we
variety of activities and exercises we
variety of activities and exercises we realized that an important or
realized that an important or
realized that an important or appropriate metaphor for how I was
appropriate metaphor for how I was
appropriate metaphor for how I was living my life was that of the ever
living my life was that of the ever
living my life was that of the ever diligent Sherpa if you don’t know what a
diligent Sherpa if you don’t know what a
diligent Sherpa if you don’t know what a Sherpa is the Sherpa our Tibetan people
Sherpa is the Sherpa our Tibetan people
Sherpa is the Sherpa our Tibetan people who helped those who are going up the
who helped those who are going up the
who helped those who are going up the Himalayan mountains by guiding them and
Himalayan mountains by guiding them and
Himalayan mountains by guiding them and protecting them along the way and that’s
protecting them along the way and that’s
protecting them along the way and that’s really how I was living my life I saw it
really how I was living my life I saw it
really how I was living my life I saw it as my job to make sure the people that I
as my job to make sure the people that I
as my job to make sure the people that I cared about were successful and I did
cared about were successful and I did
cared about were successful and I did everything I could to everything I could
everything I could to everything I could
everything I could to everything I could to guide and protect them along the way
to guide and protect them along the way
to guide and protect them along the way I was really worried about people in my
I was really worried about people in my
I was really worried about people in my life failing my children my students my
life failing my children my students my
life failing my children my students my husband and so it was my job to have all
husband and so it was my job to have all
husband and so it was my job to have all the answers and to make sure I knew
the answers and to make sure I knew
the answers and to make sure I knew exactly how they needed to approach
exactly how they needed to approach
exactly how they needed to approach their life in order to reach success but
their life in order to reach success but
their life in order to reach success but what we also realized is that by living
what we also realized is that by living
what we also realized is that by living in that metaphor I was also in a
in that metaphor I was also in a
in that metaphor I was also in a constant state of fear I worried all the
constant state of fear I worried all the
constant state of fear I worried all the time about the success of those that I
time about the success of those that I
time about the success of those that I cared about
even something as small as a text
even something as small as a text message or an unexpected phone call
message or an unexpected phone call
message or an unexpected phone call would seize me up because I would worry
would seize me up because I would worry
would seize me up because I would worry that I hadn’t anticipated a need or that
that I hadn’t anticipated a need or that
that I hadn’t anticipated a need or that I hadn’t taken care of a problem or I
I hadn’t taken care of a problem or I
I hadn’t taken care of a problem or I wouldn’t have the answer for whoever was
wouldn’t have the answer for whoever was
wouldn’t have the answer for whoever was on the other line it led me to focus so
on the other line it led me to focus so
on the other line it led me to focus so much on other people that I really
much on other people that I really
much on other people that I really didn’t take care of myself and I was
didn’t take care of myself and I was
didn’t take care of myself and I was heavy and I was tired and any sense of
heavy and I was tired and any sense of
heavy and I was tired and any sense of joy that I had came from the success of
joy that I had came from the success of
joy that I had came from the success of others which meant I lost pretty much
others which meant I lost pretty much
others which meant I lost pretty much any peace with myself on the outside I
any peace with myself on the outside I
any peace with myself on the outside I don’t think people would have realized
don’t think people would have realized
don’t think people would have realized that I was struggling with this
that I was struggling with this
that I was struggling with this confidence issue and with this fear on
confidence issue and with this fear on
confidence issue and with this fear on the outside I was willing to put myself
the outside I was willing to put myself
the outside I was willing to put myself out in front of people in high school I
out in front of people in high school I
out in front of people in high school I remember my very first rally as a
remember my very first rally as a
remember my very first rally as a freshman I rolled a peanut across the
freshman I rolled a peanut across the
freshman I rolled a peanut across the floor the entire gym floor with my nose
floor the entire gym floor with my nose
floor the entire gym floor with my nose and that led to continuing and student
and that led to continuing and student
and that led to continuing and student leadership I lip synced as Madonna
leadership I lip synced as Madonna
leadership I lip synced as Madonna danced in front of my entire school all
danced in front of my entire school all
danced in front of my entire school all by myself to the mortification and my
by myself to the mortification and my
by myself to the mortification and my brother who was in the audience and it
brother who was in the audience and it
brother who was in the audience and it seemed like I had all the confidence in
seemed like I had all the confidence in
seemed like I had all the confidence in the world I went off to college and I
the world I went off to college and I
the world I went off to college and I continued with leadership I was in my
continued with leadership I was in my
continued with leadership I was in my dorm council in my college council and
dorm council in my college council and
dorm council in my college council and even when I became a teacher I was a
even when I became a teacher I was a
even when I became a teacher I was a teacher leader I was always on
teacher leader I was always on
teacher leader I was always on committees or helping out with workshops
committees or helping out with workshops
committees or helping out with workshops or putting myself out there as somebody
or putting myself out there as somebody
or putting myself out there as somebody who was willing to lead and serve others
who was willing to lead and serve others
who was willing to lead and serve others but inside I dreaded being wrong because
but inside I dreaded being wrong because
but inside I dreaded being wrong because being wrong meant disappointing others
being wrong meant disappointing others
being wrong meant disappointing others and so because of that I avoided asking
and so because of that I avoided asking
and so because of that I avoided asking questions I avoided conflict and I
questions I avoided conflict and I
questions I avoided conflict and I consistently sought to put other people
consistently sought to put other people
consistently sought to put other people above myself I remember when I was in
above myself I remember when I was in
above myself I remember when I was in elementary school my mom sat me down and
elementary school my mom sat me down and
elementary school my mom sat me down and we were going to have the talk and the
we were going to have the talk and the
we were going to have the talk and the very first thing that she said to me was
very first thing that she said to me was
very first thing that she said to me was well you’re smart you probably know all
well you’re smart you probably know all
well you’re smart you probably know all about this and because I didn’t want to
about this and because I didn’t want to
about this and because I didn’t want to disappoint her by not having all the
disappoint her by not having all the
disappoint her by not having all the answers and because I didn’t want to
answers and because I didn’t want to
answers and because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by having
make her uncomfortable by having
make her uncomfortable by having questions
questions
questions I said yes I know all about it you don’t
I said yes I know all about it you don’t
I said yes I know all about it you don’t need to tell me anything and I was
need to tell me anything and I was
need to tell me anything and I was totally lying I had no idea I was in
totally lying I had no idea I was in
totally lying I had no idea I was in sixth grade and still thought that I
sixth grade and still thought that I
sixth grade and still thought that I you get pregnant by kissing a boy so I
you get pregnant by kissing a boy so I
you get pregnant by kissing a boy so I had a lot of questions but my value I
had a lot of questions but my value I
had a lot of questions but my value I felt came from being smart and from
felt came from being smart and from
felt came from being smart and from being kind and so any failure in those
being kind and so any failure in those
being kind and so any failure in those two areas was not just a simple mistake
two areas was not just a simple mistake
two areas was not just a simple mistake it was evidence that I didn’t have value
it was evidence that I didn’t have value
it was evidence that I didn’t have value or that I was a fraud some of the
or that I was a fraud some of the
or that I was a fraud some of the consequences of that were fairly small
consequences of that were fairly small
consequences of that were fairly small for example getting a C my first
for example getting a C my first
for example getting a C my first semester in college because I was too
semester in college because I was too
semester in college because I was too embarrassed to go to office hours and
embarrassed to go to office hours and
embarrassed to go to office hours and talked to my professor even though I had
talked to my professor even though I had
talked to my professor even though I had absolutely no idea what was going on in
absolutely no idea what was going on in
absolutely no idea what was going on in class but some of the consequences were
class but some of the consequences were
class but some of the consequences were a lot more serious such as staying in a
a lot more serious such as staying in a
a lot more serious such as staying in a marriage that was in unhealthy because
marriage that was in unhealthy because
marriage that was in unhealthy because it only served the needs of one and not
it only served the needs of one and not
it only served the needs of one and not two so if I wasn’t going to continue my
two so if I wasn’t going to continue my
two so if I wasn’t going to continue my life as the Sherpa then what was I going
life as the Sherpa then what was I going
life as the Sherpa then what was I going to be my life coach and I constructed a
to be my life coach and I constructed a
to be my life coach and I constructed a new metaphor for my life and this
new metaphor for my life and this
new metaphor for my life and this metaphor was that of the courageous sage
metaphor was that of the courageous sage
metaphor was that of the courageous sage in the city the courageous sage in the
in the city the courageous sage in the
in the city the courageous sage in the city and the ever diligent Sherpa both
city and the ever diligent Sherpa both
city and the ever diligent Sherpa both want to guide others they both want to
want to guide others they both want to
want to guide others they both want to use their experience in order to help
use their experience in order to help
use their experience in order to help other people but they do it in very
other people but they do it in very
other people but they do it in very different ways the Sherpa does that by
different ways the Sherpa does that by
different ways the Sherpa does that by taking on the burdens of others and
taking on the burdens of others and
taking on the burdens of others and always putting others before herself
always putting others before herself
always putting others before herself even if it’s at risk to herself the sage
even if it’s at risk to herself the sage
even if it’s at risk to herself the sage in the city leads others by realizing
in the city leads others by realizing
in the city leads others by realizing that she learns when she opens herself
that she learns when she opens herself
that she learns when she opens herself up to risk and that by doing that she
up to risk and that by doing that she
up to risk and that by doing that she gives others the opportunity to do that
gives others the opportunity to do that
gives others the opportunity to do that as well the Sherpa sees one path and one
as well the Sherpa sees one path and one
as well the Sherpa sees one path and one goal one destination the sage in the
goal one destination the sage in the
goal one destination the sage in the city sees multiple paths to joy it’s not
city sees multiple paths to joy it’s not
city sees multiple paths to joy it’s not just an a perilous uphill climb to one
just an a perilous uphill climb to one
just an a perilous uphill climb to one destination instead life as the sage in
destination instead life as the sage in
destination instead life as the sage in the city became a wild grid of
the city became a wild grid of
the city became a wild grid of opportunity where a wrong turn could
opportunity where a wrong turn could
opportunity where a wrong turn could just as easily become the right one
making this change in my life wasn’t
making this change in my life wasn’t easy but I realized that I couldn’t
easy but I realized that I couldn’t
easy but I realized that I couldn’t continue to live
continue to live
continue to live as the Sherpa I couldn’t breathe being
as the Sherpa I couldn’t breathe being
as the Sherpa I couldn’t breathe being the Sherpa the air was too thin and the
the Sherpa the air was too thin and the
the Sherpa the air was too thin and the weight was too heavy and I would
weight was too heavy and I would
weight was too heavy and I would completely lose myself in that process
completely lose myself in that process
completely lose myself in that process and so I had to live a different way and
and so I had to live a different way and
and so I had to live a different way and that was scary and it came with probably
that was scary and it came with probably
that was scary and it came with probably the biggest failure of my life
the biggest failure of my life
the biggest failure of my life which was the failure of my marriage but
which was the failure of my marriage but
which was the failure of my marriage but I can honestly say that I have found the
I can honestly say that I have found the
I can honestly say that I have found the better me and the world that I’m living
better me and the world that I’m living
better me and the world that I’m living in now is teaching me so much about
in now is teaching me so much about
in now is teaching me so much about myself and about others and about the
myself and about others and about the
myself and about others and about the way that I want to live my life one
way that I want to live my life one
way that I want to live my life one example of that is that in 2012 when I
example of that is that in 2012 when I
example of that is that in 2012 when I started this journey I had never run a
started this journey I had never run a
started this journey I had never run a complete mile in my entire life and in
complete mile in my entire life and in
complete mile in my entire life and in February I completed my second half
February I completed my second half
February I completed my second half marathon another example is that I
marathon another example is that I
marathon another example is that I started this by taking on the role of
started this by taking on the role of
started this by taking on the role of advisor to grizzly achievement a year
advisor to grizzly achievement a year
advisor to grizzly achievement a year later I also took on the role of being
later I also took on the role of being
later I also took on the role of being activities director and having both of
activities director and having both of
activities director and having both of those very active busy important
those very active busy important
those very active busy important programs to run was a huge challenge but
programs to run was a huge challenge but
programs to run was a huge challenge but what took even more courage was three
what took even more courage was three
what took even more courage was three years later deciding to step away from
years later deciding to step away from
years later deciding to step away from that role as activities director because
that role as activities director because
that role as activities director because I knew that my children needed me they
I knew that my children needed me they
I knew that my children needed me they needed my time and I needed me I needed
needed my time and I needed me I needed
needed my time and I needed me I needed time to develop myself beyond my role at
time to develop myself beyond my role at
time to develop myself beyond my role at school and so that leads us to the
school and so that leads us to the
school and so that leads us to the mountain again at 43 I went on my very
mountain again at 43 I went on my very
mountain again at 43 I went on my very first skiing trip and I had absolutely
first skiing trip and I had absolutely
first skiing trip and I had absolutely no experiences that would prepare me for
no experiences that would prepare me for
no experiences that would prepare me for success in trying to take on this
success in trying to take on this
success in trying to take on this mountain I only had a few encouraging
mountain I only had a few encouraging
mountain I only had a few encouraging friends who are willing to take me along
friends who are willing to take me along
friends who are willing to take me along with them so we get to the mountain and
with them so we get to the mountain and
with them so we get to the mountain and I snap on the skis and within three
I snap on the skis and within three
I snap on the skis and within three strides I’m on the ski lift heading up
strides I’m on the ski lift heading up
strides I’m on the ski lift heading up to the top of the mountain get off the
to the top of the mountain get off the
to the top of the mountain get off the ski lift
ski lift
ski lift I immediately fall skis pop off but in
I immediately fall skis pop off but in
I immediately fall skis pop off but in the snow somewhat expected I was told
the snow somewhat expected I was told
the snow somewhat expected I was told this happens a lot but that wasn’t my
this happens a lot but that wasn’t my
this happens a lot but that wasn’t my last fall
last fall
last fall not even close to my last fall by my
not even close to my last fall by my
not even close to my last fall by my count it probably was about 15 Falls and
count it probably was about 15 Falls and
count it probably was about 15 Falls and I wasn’t even halfway down the mountain
I wasn’t even halfway down the mountain
I wasn’t even halfway down the mountain yet I don’t know if any of you have
yet I don’t know if any of you have
yet I don’t know if any of you have tried to stand up after falling down on
tried to stand up after falling down on
tried to stand up after falling down on skis but it’s not easy my legs had
skis but it’s not easy my legs had
skis but it’s not easy my legs had turned to jelly I had tears of
turned to jelly I had tears of
turned to jelly I had tears of frustration in my eyes I was sweating so
frustration in my eyes I was sweating so
frustration in my eyes I was sweating so badly that my ski lifts my past was in
badly that my ski lifts my past was in
badly that my ski lifts my past was in my ski pants pocket and it had
my ski pants pocket and it had
my ski pants pocket and it had completely turned to mush
completely turned to mush
completely turned to mush from all the sweat just soaking through
from all the sweat just soaking through
from all the sweat just soaking through because I was just working so hard and
because I was just working so hard and
because I was just working so hard and so frustrated but I kept getting up even
so frustrated but I kept getting up even
so frustrated but I kept getting up even though I kept falling again and again
though I kept falling again and again
though I kept falling again and again and probably about 3/4 of the way down
and probably about 3/4 of the way down
and probably about 3/4 of the way down the mountain I had a handle on it just
the mountain I had a handle on it just
the mountain I had a handle on it just enough just slowly very very slowly
enough just slowly very very slowly
enough just slowly very very slowly glide to the bottom it had taken me an
glide to the bottom it had taken me an
glide to the bottom it had taken me an hour and 47 minutes to get down the
hour and 47 minutes to get down the
hour and 47 minutes to get down the mountain one time and I’d like to say
mountain one time and I’d like to say
mountain one time and I’d like to say that I was hopped back on that ski lift
that I was hopped back on that ski lift
that I was hopped back on that ski lift and went back up but our time was up for
and went back up but our time was up for
and went back up but our time was up for the day didn’t have enough time on my
the day didn’t have enough time on my
the day didn’t have enough time on my pass to do that and so it would have to
pass to do that and so it would have to
pass to do that and so it would have to wait until the next day and in
wait until the next day and in
wait until the next day and in motivational speaker world this is where
motivational speaker world this is where
motivational speaker world this is where we overcome those obstacles and we go to
we overcome those obstacles and we go to
we overcome those obstacles and we go to the top of that mountain and we conquer
the top of that mountain and we conquer
the top of that mountain and we conquer it but that’s not what happened
it but that’s not what happened
it but that’s not what happened I had twisted my knee so many times by
I had twisted my knee so many times by
I had twisted my knee so many times by trying to stand myself up and being a
trying to stand myself up and being a
trying to stand myself up and being a little stubborn and doing that by myself
little stubborn and doing that by myself
little stubborn and doing that by myself way too many times
way too many times
way too many times that I could hardly walk on it that
that I could hardly walk on it that
that I could hardly walk on it that night and the next morning it wasn’t
night and the next morning it wasn’t
night and the next morning it wasn’t much better
much better
much better and I had a half marathon waiting for me
and I had a half marathon waiting for me
and I had a half marathon waiting for me just a few weeks out from this skiing
just a few weeks out from this skiing
just a few weeks out from this skiing trip and so I decided that even though
trip and so I decided that even though
trip and so I decided that even though it might disappoint the people that I
it might disappoint the people that I
it might disappoint the people that I was with and even though it was going to
was with and even though it was going to
was with and even though it was going to seem like a failure and it was I wasn’t
seem like a failure and it was I wasn’t
seem like a failure and it was I wasn’t going to take on that mountain again on
going to take on that mountain again on
going to take on that mountain again on the second day instead I sat by the fire
the second day instead I sat by the fire
the second day instead I sat by the fire pit
pit
pit I watched my friend ski what they said
I watched my friend ski what they said
I watched my friend ski what they said was incredible powder I listened to
was incredible powder I listened to
was incredible powder I listened to conversations the people around me
conversations the people around me
conversations the people around me I enjoyed the beauty of the day and I
I enjoyed the beauty of the day and I
I enjoyed the beauty of the day and I loved it it was an amazing day and it
loved it it was an amazing day and it
loved it it was an amazing day and it was an even more amazing day a few weeks
was an even more amazing day a few weeks
was an even more amazing day a few weeks later when I crossed the finish line of
later when I crossed the finish line of
later when I crossed the finish line of that second half marathon and I knew
that second half marathon and I knew
that second half marathon and I knew that by allowing myself to experience
that by allowing myself to experience
that by allowing myself to experience the failure on the ski slope that I had
the failure on the ski slope that I had
the failure on the ski slope that I had set myself up for success on my run
so I have realized that being able to
so I have realized that being able to breathe is the most important thing that
breathe is the most important thing that
breathe is the most important thing that I need to do and I may have fear I can
I need to do and I may have fear I can
I need to do and I may have fear I can have that fear but I don’t need to be
have that fear but I don’t need to be
have that fear but I don’t need to be that fear regardless of the
that fear regardless of the
that fear regardless of the circumstances regardless of the
circumstances regardless of the
circumstances regardless of the situation
situation
situation I can accept whatever comes at me and I
I can accept whatever comes at me and I
I can accept whatever comes at me and I might soar I might be amazing but I
might soar I might be amazing but I
might soar I might be amazing but I might not and I can find peace at the
might not and I can find peace at the
might not and I can find peace at the bottom of the mountain just as well as
bottom of the mountain just as well as
bottom of the mountain just as well as at the top of the mountain so now I know
at the top of the mountain so now I know
at the top of the mountain so now I know that I’m willing to fall and I’m willing
that I’m willing to fall and I’m willing
that I’m willing to fall and I’m willing to fail just as long as I keep reading
to fail just as long as I keep reading
to fail just as long as I keep reading thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
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