Your limits are a temporary perspective | Yvie Johnson | TEDxHolyhead

I want to take you back in time to 1984

I want to take you back in time to 1984 I’m just four years old and I’m living

I’m just four years old and I’m living

I’m just four years old and I’m living on a tiny island in the South China Sea

on a tiny island in the South China Sea

on a tiny island in the South China Sea and one day I decide to just leave my

and one day I decide to just leave my

and one day I decide to just leave my home perched on the top of the hill of

home perched on the top of the hill of

home perched on the top of the hill of the island and just make my way down to

the island and just make my way down to

the island and just make my way down to the beach without telling anybody and

the beach without telling anybody and

the beach without telling anybody and there are two pools on the beach a small

there are two pools on the beach a small

there are two pools on the beach a small one and a large one and I decide to jump

one and a large one and I decide to jump

one and a large one and I decide to jump into the large one at the deep end and I

into the large one at the deep end and I

into the large one at the deep end and I don’t know if I can swim and it’s either

don’t know if I can swim and it’s either

don’t know if I can swim and it’s either sink or swim fortunately I do swim

sink or swim fortunately I do swim

sink or swim fortunately I do swim nearby there’s actually a Gurkha guard

nearby there’s actually a Gurkha guard

nearby there’s actually a Gurkha guard in a sentry box and he’s keeping an eye

in a sentry box and he’s keeping an eye

in a sentry box and he’s keeping an eye on me in here he rings at my mom on the

on me in here he rings at my mom on the

on me in here he rings at my mom on the phone and toss where I am again and I

phone and toss where I am again and I

phone and toss where I am again and I wonder did I ever stop to consider can

wonder did I ever stop to consider can

wonder did I ever stop to consider can you actually swim we qualify to jump

you actually swim we qualify to jump

you actually swim we qualify to jump into this pool at the deep end

into this pool at the deep end

into this pool at the deep end did I ever compare myself to Olympic

did I ever compare myself to Olympic

did I ever compare myself to Olympic swimmers and double-check that I was

swimmers and double-check that I was

swimmers and double-check that I was worthy of having fun or did I just jump

worthy of having fun or did I just jump

worthy of having fun or did I just jump in and have a go figure out now forward

in and have a go figure out now forward

in and have a go figure out now forward in time a bit more is there July the 5th

in time a bit more is there July the 5th

in time a bit more is there July the 5th 2016 and I’m round in the corner of the

2016 and I’m round in the corner of the

2016 and I’m round in the corner of the final stretch of tarmac they’ll take me

final stretch of tarmac they’ll take me

final stretch of tarmac they’ll take me to the signpost at Lands End and the end

to the signpost at Lands End and the end

to the signpost at Lands End and the end of the three-month journey

of the three-month journey

of the three-month journey it’s beautiful day didn’t start out

it’s beautiful day didn’t start out

it’s beautiful day didn’t start out beautiful at beginning the journey the

beautiful at beginning the journey the

beautiful at beginning the journey the Sun is beginning to set seagulls are

Sun is beginning to set seagulls are

Sun is beginning to set seagulls are swooping overhead and in the distance I

swooping overhead and in the distance I

swooping overhead and in the distance I can just spot out a small group of

can just spot out a small group of

can just spot out a small group of supporters waiting for me at the finish

supporters waiting for me at the finish

supporters waiting for me at the finish line and I’ve just a few hundred metres

line and I’ve just a few hundred metres

line and I’ve just a few hundred metres to cover and I’ve got a lump in my

to cover and I’ve got a lump in my

to cover and I’ve got a lump in my throat but I’ve got a huge smile on my

throat but I’ve got a huge smile on my

throat but I’ve got a huge smile on my face as you can see and with just a few

face as you can see and with just a few

face as you can see and with just a few strides left to consider this whole

strides left to consider this whole

strides left to consider this whole journey of 1,800 miles running from

journey of 1,800 miles running from

journey of 1,800 miles running from Land’s End to John O’Groats and back

Land’s End to John O’Groats and back

Land’s End to John O’Groats and back again

again

again overcoming shin splints sleep

overcoming shin splints sleep

overcoming shin splints sleep deprivation dehydration and sunstroke

deprivation dehydration and sunstroke

deprivation dehydration and sunstroke and more I wonder is this it is this the

and more I wonder is this it is this the

and more I wonder is this it is this the limit of my potential have I absolutely

limit of my potential have I absolutely

limit of my potential have I absolutely achieved everything now that I’ve done

achieved everything now that I’ve done

achieved everything now that I’ve done this okay I give full credit the first

this okay I give full credit the first

this okay I give full credit the first seven years of my life the formative

seven years of my life the formative

seven years of my life the formative years it was during these years that I

years it was during these years that I

years it was during these years that I was on a long leash allowed to roam

was on a long leash allowed to roam

was on a long leash allowed to roam Islands courtesy of the British Army and

Islands courtesy of the British Army and

Islands courtesy of the British Army and and where we were sent and this

and where we were sent and this

and where we were sent and this instilled a sense of freedom and

instilled a sense of freedom and

instilled a sense of freedom and independence in me from a very very

independence in me from a very very

independence in me from a very very young age I was raised the middle child

young age I was raised the middle child

young age I was raised the middle child the cheeky one a very large family

the cheeky one a very large family

the cheeky one a very large family surrounded mostly by girls and so I was

surrounded mostly by girls and so I was

surrounded mostly by girls and so I was raised to feel equal but also equally

raised to feel equal but also equally

raised to feel equal but also equally capable of achieving the funny thing is

capable of achieving the funny thing is

capable of achieving the funny thing is though when you’re least expecting it

so here it was going about my life not

so here it was going about my life not so long ago a future ahead of me a

so long ago a future ahead of me a

so long ago a future ahead of me a career in the police I’m pretty

career in the police I’m pretty

career in the police I’m pretty confident of where I want the direction

confident of where I want the direction

confident of where I want the direction to go and what I want to do when I start

to go and what I want to do when I start

to go and what I want to do when I start to get this nagging feeling of being the

to get this nagging feeling of being the

to get this nagging feeling of being the square peg in a round hole and I’ll

square peg in a round hole and I’ll

square peg in a round hole and I’ll admit that on a few occasions my world

admit that on a few occasions my world

admit that on a few occasions my world came crashing down as a result and one

came crashing down as a result and one

came crashing down as a result and one of those most recent crashes was the

of those most recent crashes was the

of those most recent crashes was the diagnosis of bipolar disorder

diagnosis of bipolar disorder

diagnosis of bipolar disorder now suddenly my carefree world I was

now suddenly my carefree world I was

now suddenly my carefree world I was faced with grief the mourning for who I

faced with grief the mourning for who I

faced with grief the mourning for who I was I was really angry why the hell did

was I was really angry why the hell did

was I was really angry why the hell did this happen to me

this happen to me

this happen to me and also denial and I was squaring up

and also denial and I was squaring up

and also denial and I was squaring up face to face with stigma with the same

face to face with stigma with the same

face to face with stigma with the same dogged stubbornness that I’d faced many

dogged stubbornness that I’d faced many

dogged stubbornness that I’d faced many obstacles in my life

obstacles in my life

obstacles in my life and what also happened was that my areas

and what also happened was that my areas

and what also happened was that my areas where I’d previously fell to ease and

where I’d previously fell to ease and

where I’d previously fell to ease and confident they became big areas of

confident they became big areas of

confident they became big areas of discomfort and anxiety and stress and

discomfort and anxiety and stress and

discomfort and anxiety and stress and fear now I’m not quite sure how this

fear now I’m not quite sure how this

fear now I’m not quite sure how this whole paradigm shifted and I think it

whole paradigm shifted and I think it

whole paradigm shifted and I think it was just more an evolution of thought

was just more an evolution of thought

was just more an evolution of thought but the whole process shifted quicker

but the whole process shifted quicker

but the whole process shifted quicker once I brought physical exercise into

once I brought physical exercise into

once I brought physical exercise into the equation and this is what’s happened

the equation and this is what’s happened

the equation and this is what’s happened my grief the mourning for the old Eevee

my grief the mourning for the old Eevee

my grief the mourning for the old Eevee became the realization that I was still

became the realization that I was still

became the realization that I was still me I was still the same stubborn person

me I was still the same stubborn person

me I was still the same stubborn person with independence love for sports

with independence love for sports

with independence love for sports culture languages creativity and that

culture languages creativity and that

culture languages creativity and that anger became a fuel it became a passion

anger became a fuel it became a passion

anger became a fuel it became a passion and a drive and denying bipolar disorder

and a drive and denying bipolar disorder

and a drive and denying bipolar disorder a place in my existence became the

a place in my existence became the

a place in my existence became the opportunity to share insight and it was

opportunity to share insight and it was

opportunity to share insight and it was this insight that allowed me to dig deep

this insight that allowed me to dig deep

this insight that allowed me to dig deep and to recall who I truly was and I was

and to recall who I truly was and I was

and to recall who I truly was and I was that girl that same girl who was the

that girl that same girl who was the

that girl that same girl who was the child roaming the islands of the South

child roaming the islands of the South

child roaming the islands of the South China Sea with a love for adventure

China Sea with a love for adventure

China Sea with a love for adventure surrounded by a loving family and that

surrounded by a loving family and that

surrounded by a loving family and that gave me the strength to move forward and

gave me the strength to move forward and

gave me the strength to move forward and this became the concept of this mind for

this became the concept of this mind for

this became the concept of this mind for me the run that I did I named it first

me the run that I did I named it first

me the run that I did I named it first mind and the concept of first mind the

mind and the concept of first mind the

mind and the concept of first mind the basis of it all was to overcome

basis of it all was to overcome

basis of it all was to overcome adversity through adventures so running

adversity through adventures so running

adversity through adventures so running from Land’s End to John O’Groats and

from Land’s End to John O’Groats and

from Land’s End to John O’Groats and back to Land’s End again it’s a bit of a

back to Land’s End again it’s a bit of a

back to Land’s End again it’s a bit of a mouthful I call it the juggle the

mouthful I call it the juggle the

mouthful I call it the juggle the quicker that was what it was all about

quicker that was what it was all about

quicker that was what it was all about it was literally to prove that the

it was literally to prove that the

it was literally to prove that the diagnosis of a mental illness is not

diagnosis of a mental illness is not

diagnosis of a mental illness is not enough to stop you from achieving your

enough to stop you from achieving your

enough to stop you from achieving your extraordinary now I didn’t know that I

extraordinary now I didn’t know that I

extraordinary now I didn’t know that I could run 45 miles in one day until I

could run 45 miles in one day until I

could run 45 miles in one day until I had to do it but I do recall my first 5k

had to do it but I do recall my first 5k

had to do it but I do recall my first 5k race and it was about a decade ago and I

race and it was about a decade ago and I

race and it was about a decade ago and I can tell you the fear

can tell you the fear

can tell you the fear the stress that nervous we right before

the stress that nervous we right before

the stress that nervous we right before the start is exactly the same at five

the start is exactly the same at five

the start is exactly the same at five kilometers as it is at 55 kilometers but

kilometers as it is at 55 kilometers but

kilometers as it is at 55 kilometers but here’s the thing I had a superpower self

here’s the thing I had a superpower self

here’s the thing I had a superpower self belief I knew deep down I could do it

belief I knew deep down I could do it

belief I knew deep down I could do it I’d already see myself finish it I

I’d already see myself finish it I

I’d already see myself finish it I didn’t know how much it was going to

didn’t know how much it was going to

didn’t know how much it was going to hurt I didn’t know what obstacles life

hurt I didn’t know what obstacles life

hurt I didn’t know what obstacles life was going to throw in my path but I just

was going to throw in my path but I just

was going to throw in my path but I just knew there was a dot on my horizon and

knew there was a dot on my horizon and

knew there was a dot on my horizon and that was where I was headed now the

that was where I was headed now the

that was where I was headed now the funny thing about superpowers they all

funny thing about superpowers they all

funny thing about superpowers they all have a catch and the catch for self

have a catch and the catch for self

have a catch and the catch for self belief is that only I can truly believe

belief is that only I can truly believe

belief is that only I can truly believe in myself your belief in me it can’t do

in myself your belief in me it can’t do

in myself your belief in me it can’t do my work for me I have to believe in

my work for me I have to believe in

my work for me I have to believe in myself and not everyone did believe that

myself and not everyone did believe that

myself and not everyone did believe that I could complete a juggle just as not

I could complete a juggle just as not

I could complete a juggle just as not everyone will believe that you can

everyone will believe that you can

everyone will believe that you can accomplish everything that you set out

accomplish everything that you set out

accomplish everything that you set out to do but what can we do about it take

to do but what can we do about it take

to do but what can we do about it take action on our super powers and work on

action on our super powers and work on

action on our super powers and work on our self belief now seriously what would

our self belief now seriously what would

our self belief now seriously what would it take for you to decide to run 1,800

it take for you to decide to run 1,800

it take for you to decide to run 1,800 miles from one end of the country and

miles from one end of the country and

miles from one end of the country and back again on your own with just six

back again on your own with just six

back again on your own with just six months to Train and what could possibly

months to Train and what could possibly

months to Train and what could possibly go wrong and with the job with the

go wrong and with the job with the

go wrong and with the job with the juggle it was fraught with obstacles

juggle it was fraught with obstacles

juggle it was fraught with obstacles many things went wrong there were that

many things went wrong there were that

many things went wrong there were that many obstacles at the start like I

many obstacles at the start like I

many obstacles at the start like I almost didn’t begin an area of doing

almost didn’t begin an area of doing

almost didn’t begin an area of doing that the jog or was that I had to face

that the jog or was that I had to face

that the jog or was that I had to face obstacles but I’d never experienced

obstacles but I’d never experienced

obstacles but I’d never experienced before I had to push against discomfort

before I had to push against discomfort

before I had to push against discomfort I had to increase my confidence and my

I had to increase my confidence and my

I had to increase my confidence and my resilience gained the experience gained

resilience gained the experience gained

resilience gained the experience gained the knowledge and that wasn’t easy on

the knowledge and that wasn’t easy on

the knowledge and that wasn’t easy on many days during the juggle

many days during the juggle

many days during the juggle the road-running section specifically I

the road-running section specifically I

the road-running section specifically I had to deal with my comfort zone

had to deal with my comfort zone

had to deal with my comfort zone shrinking again now I don’t know if many

shrinking again now I don’t know if many

shrinking again now I don’t know if many of you are camilli ER with the concept

of you are camilli ER with the concept

of you are camilli ER with the concept of the elastic band it’s being the

of the elastic band it’s being the

of the elastic band it’s being the comfort zone but it realistic man a bit

comfort zone but it realistic man a bit

comfort zone but it realistic man a bit in the middle is the comfort zone around

in the middle is the comfort zone around

in the middle is the comfort zone around the outside it’s the area of discomfort

the outside it’s the area of discomfort

the outside it’s the area of discomfort and generally want it to we want it to

and generally want it to we want it to

and generally want it to we want it to stretch we want our elastic bands to

stretch we want our elastic bands to

stretch we want our elastic bands to keep stretching and growing that sign of

keep stretching and growing that sign of

keep stretching and growing that sign of Perpetual development but what if it

Perpetual development but what if it

Perpetual development but what if it does start shrinking what what’s that

does start shrinking what what’s that

does start shrinking what what’s that supposed to mean

supposed to mean

supposed to mean are we failing are we undoing experience

are we failing are we undoing experience

are we failing are we undoing experience and it could be it’s shrinking because

and it could be it’s shrinking because

and it could be it’s shrinking because you’re in a rut you’re coping with grief

you’re in a rut you’re coping with grief

you’re in a rut you’re coping with grief been made redundant now when I was

been made redundant now when I was

been made redundant now when I was running on the juggle my comfort zone

running on the juggle my comfort zone

running on the juggle my comfort zone for road running was shrinking

for road running was shrinking

for road running was shrinking not because I didn’t have the experience

not because I didn’t have the experience

not because I didn’t have the experience of running on the road

of running on the road

of running on the road it was shrinking because I didn’t have

it was shrinking because I didn’t have

it was shrinking because I didn’t have the confidence that I could actually

the confidence that I could actually

the confidence that I could actually make it through the day alive too many

make it through the day alive too many

make it through the day alive too many encounters with vehicles that would pass

encounters with vehicles that would pass

encounters with vehicles that would pass too close for me to feel safe they’d

too close for me to feel safe they’d

too close for me to feel safe they’d passed too fast making me under steady

passed too fast making me under steady

passed too fast making me under steady on my feet spray me with Road slurry

they’d honk their horn in my ear and on

they’d honk their horn in my ear and on two occasions I narrowly missed a

two occasions I narrowly missed a

two occasions I narrowly missed a head-on collision with a van and then a

head-on collision with a van and then a

head-on collision with a van and then a car and all of these situations took

car and all of these situations took

car and all of these situations took their toll day after day after day and

their toll day after day after day and

their toll day after day after day and so in my comfort zone the road running

so in my comfort zone the road running

so in my comfort zone the road running was shrinking but not all areas of it so

was shrinking but not all areas of it so

was shrinking but not all areas of it so when I look at the elastic band and it’s

when I look at the elastic band and it’s

when I look at the elastic band and it’s lovely circle road running was only

lovely circle road running was only

lovely circle road running was only shrinking in certain bits and so it

shrinking in certain bits and so it

shrinking in certain bits and so it didn’t quite make sense I couldn’t fit

didn’t quite make sense I couldn’t fit

didn’t quite make sense I couldn’t fit this situation into that model and it

this situation into that model and it

this situation into that model and it wasn’t until about three months after

wasn’t until about three months after

wasn’t until about three months after I’d completed logical and I’d already

I’d completed logical and I’d already

I’d completed logical and I’d already started to slide into a depressive slump

started to slide into a depressive slump

started to slide into a depressive slump inertia but I began to think about what

inertia but I began to think about what

inertia but I began to think about what hell was going on

hell was going on

hell was going on I’d already reached my horizon why can’t

I’d already reached my horizon why can’t

I’d already reached my horizon why can’t I stay there why was I now coming

I stay there why was I now coming

I stay there why was I now coming backwards why was I falling backwards

backwards why was I falling backwards

backwards why was I falling backwards into somebody who couldn’t even get out

into somebody who couldn’t even get out

into somebody who couldn’t even get out of bed again it didn’t make any sense

of bed again it didn’t make any sense

of bed again it didn’t make any sense and the more I thought about all of this

and the more I thought about all of this

and the more I thought about all of this an image start to come up in my mind and

an image start to come up in my mind and

an image start to come up in my mind and it was a very very basic shape it was a

it was a very very basic shape it was a

it was a very very basic shape it was a star now what if the star could better

star now what if the star could better

star now what if the star could better illustrate where our comfort zone lies

illustrate where our comfort zone lies

illustrate where our comfort zone lies where our potential lies and the

where our potential lies and the

where our potential lies and the fluctuating nature of it all so we’ll

fluctuating nature of it all so we’ll

fluctuating nature of it all so we’ll start with this basic shape of a star

start with this basic shape of a star

start with this basic shape of a star the comfort zone it’s within the body of

the comfort zone it’s within the body of

the comfort zone it’s within the body of the star when you push against

the star when you push against

the star when you push against discomfort and you increase your

discomfort and you increase your

discomfort and you increase your confidence and your resilience and you

confidence and your resilience and you

confidence and your resilience and you gain experience and you gain knowledge

gain experience and you gain knowledge

gain experience and you gain knowledge in certain areas because you’re not

in certain areas because you’re not

in certain areas because you’re not doing this in every single area of your

doing this in every single area of your

doing this in every single area of your life you’re creating points for your own

life you’re creating points for your own

life you’re creating points for your own star and when you’ve still got those

star and when you’ve still got those

star and when you’ve still got those areas of discomfort that need to be

areas of discomfort that need to be

areas of discomfort that need to be worked on or you fall into a rattle

worked on or you fall into a rattle

worked on or you fall into a rattle things become quite negative you have

things become quite negative you have

things become quite negative you have nooks the nooks and the crannies nooks

nooks the nooks and the crannies nooks

nooks the nooks and the crannies nooks and crannies of your star are the areas

and crannies of your star are the areas

and crannies of your star are the areas that need to be worked on and what you

that need to be worked on and what you

that need to be worked on and what you might start to see here is that you

might start to see here is that you

might start to see here is that you can’t have points without nooks you

can’t have points without nooks you

can’t have points without nooks you can’t have the confidence without also

can’t have the confidence without also

can’t have the confidence without also having areas of discomfort to work on

having areas of discomfort to work on

having areas of discomfort to work on and these nooks and crannies these areas

and these nooks and crannies these areas

and these nooks and crannies these areas of confidence these points they’ve all

of confidence these points they’ve all

of confidence these points they’ve all been in flux since the day you were born

been in flux since the day you were born

been in flux since the day you were born constantly shifting what happens when

constantly shifting what happens when

constantly shifting what happens when these areas alter and shift constantly

these areas alter and shift constantly

these areas alter and shift constantly they twinkle they sparkle and they shine

they twinkle they sparkle and they shine

they twinkle they sparkle and they shine you are a twinkling star of infinite

you are a twinkling star of infinite

you are a twinkling star of infinite points now the greatest realization for

points now the greatest realization for

points now the greatest realization for me about this illustration was it helped

me about this illustration was it helped

me about this illustration was it helped me to understand that the roots that I

me to understand that the roots that I

me to understand that the roots that I was dealing with were also essential to

was dealing with were also essential to

was dealing with were also essential to my recovery because without these roots

my recovery because without these roots

my recovery because without these roots I would not have had the opportunity to

I would not have had the opportunity to

I would not have had the opportunity to push against discomfort and create that

push against discomfort and create that

push against discomfort and create that fierce mind point which gets me here

fierce mind point which gets me here

fierce mind point which gets me here today the other thing about points and

today the other thing about points and

today the other thing about points and nooks and crannies is that they’re not

nooks and crannies is that they’re not

nooks and crannies is that they’re not permanent they’re all temporary your

permanent they’re all temporary your

permanent they’re all temporary your limits are a temporary perspective

limits are a temporary perspective

limits are a temporary perspective because that limit that you can see like

because that limit that you can see like

because that limit that you can see like that current horizon it’s not going to

that current horizon it’s not going to

that current horizon it’s not going to permanently stay there it’s going to

permanently stay there it’s going to

permanently stay there it’s going to shift its going to come towards you and

shift its going to come towards you and

shift its going to come towards you and it will go back out again perhaps one

it will go back out again perhaps one

it will go back out again perhaps one day you can’t but today you can and vice

day you can’t but today you can and vice

day you can’t but today you can and vice versa

your limits are a temporary perspective

your limits are a temporary perspective I created the star illustration really

I created the star illustration really

I created the star illustration really for me it helped me to to understand an

for me it helped me to to understand an

for me it helped me to to understand an uncomfortable area but I was living but

uncomfortable area but I was living but

uncomfortable area but I was living but what it also did was it helped me to

what it also did was it helped me to

what it also did was it helped me to realize that I was actually creating the

realize that I was actually creating the

realize that I was actually creating the ingredients for a recipe to shine even

ingredients for a recipe to shine even

ingredients for a recipe to shine even brighter know and respect your

brighter know and respect your

brighter know and respect your capability to push your limits no one

capability to push your limits no one

capability to push your limits no one respect you’ll need to retract and start

respect you’ll need to retract and start

respect you’ll need to retract and start again

again

again thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]