I am an honourable bitch I believe being a bitch is a worthy
I believe being a bitch is a worthy
I believe being a bitch is a worthy aspiration and I’m not the only one
aspiration and I’m not the only one
aspiration and I’m not the only one my dog Wanda thinks so too she’s such a
my dog Wanda thinks so too she’s such a
my dog Wanda thinks so too she’s such a good girl but seriously I hope that you
good girl but seriously I hope that you
good girl but seriously I hope that you will agree with me even though I know
will agree with me even though I know
will agree with me even though I know that bitches have a bad rep and anger
that bitches have a bad rep and anger
that bitches have a bad rep and anger has a bad rap too but the thing is ad
has a bad rap too but the thing is ad
has a bad rap too but the thing is ad wraps these bad reps are not based in
wraps these bad reps are not based in
wraps these bad reps are not based in truth you’ve probably been called a few
truth you’ve probably been called a few
truth you’ve probably been called a few names in your lifetime whether or not
names in your lifetime whether or not
names in your lifetime whether or not you know it and chances are they weren’t
you know it and chances are they weren’t
you know it and chances are they weren’t so honorable or even based in truth and
so honorable or even based in truth and
so honorable or even based in truth and truth and honor are important and so
truth and honor are important and so
truth and honor are important and so with healthy anger and it’s all
with healthy anger and it’s all
with healthy anger and it’s all connected and yet so many women they’re
connected and yet so many women they’re
connected and yet so many women they’re not connected to their healthy anger I
not connected to their healthy anger I
not connected to their healthy anger I see this a lot in my work and I was one
see this a lot in my work and I was one
see this a lot in my work and I was one of those women for a long time years ago
of those women for a long time years ago
of those women for a long time years ago I used to say to my friends I am working
I used to say to my friends I am working
I used to say to my friends I am working on being a bitch and they would laugh of
on being a bitch and they would laugh of
on being a bitch and they would laugh of course but I was really serious because
course but I was really serious because
course but I was really serious because for too long of a time I was anything
for too long of a time I was anything
for too long of a time I was anything but a bitch I was a pushover doormat and
but a bitch I was a pushover doormat and
but a bitch I was a pushover doormat and too often I was a victim it started when
too often I was a victim it started when
too often I was a victim it started when I was a little girl I never knew what
I was a little girl I never knew what
I was a little girl I never knew what was going to make my father explode he
was going to make my father explode he
was going to make my father explode he would take his leather belt and punish
would take his leather belt and punish
would take his leather belt and punish me if I stepped in a puddle on a rainy
me if I stepped in a puddle on a rainy
me if I stepped in a puddle on a rainy day I got that belt if I fell down and I
day I got that belt if I fell down and I
day I got that belt if I fell down and I skinned my knees that belt came off I
skinned my knees that belt came off I
skinned my knees that belt came off I never knew what I would do when I was
never knew what I would do when I was
never knew what I would do when I was playing that would set him off when I
playing that would set him off when I
playing that would set him off when I was nine years old I had a new best
was nine years old I had a new best
was nine years old I had a new best friend named Lynn and I went to her
friend named Lynn and I went to her
friend named Lynn and I went to her house to play she wasn’t home but her
house to play she wasn’t home but her
house to play she wasn’t home but her grandmother was and her grandmother had
grandmother was and her grandmother had
grandmother was and her grandmother had all these questions for me and when she
all these questions for me and when she
all these questions for me and when she was finished she looked down at me and
was finished she looked down at me and
was finished she looked down at me and she said now you get out of here and
she said now you get out of here and
she said now you get out of here and don’t come back you’re not allowed to
don’t come back you’re not allowed to
don’t come back you’re not allowed to play with Lynn ever
play with Lynn ever
play with Lynn ever again just like that she said that he
again just like that she said that he
again just like that she said that he was really shocking and traumatizing for
was really shocking and traumatizing for
was really shocking and traumatizing for me it broke my heart because on that day
me it broke my heart because on that day
me it broke my heart because on that day my friendship with Lynn was over when I
my friendship with Lynn was over when I
my friendship with Lynn was over when I became a young woman my first long-term
became a young woman my first long-term
became a young woman my first long-term boyfriend beat me up regularly he beat
boyfriend beat me up regularly he beat
boyfriend beat me up regularly he beat me up when I came home late he beat me
me up when I came home late he beat me
me up when I came home late he beat me up when he thought I looked at the wrong
up when he thought I looked at the wrong
up when he thought I looked at the wrong person or even had a different opinion
person or even had a different opinion
person or even had a different opinion than him every day activities like
than him every day activities like
than him every day activities like stopping at the ATM machine or going to
stopping at the ATM machine or going to
stopping at the ATM machine or going to the post office or even getting dressed
the post office or even getting dressed
the post office or even getting dressed filled me with anxiety because well I
filled me with anxiety because well I
filled me with anxiety because well I just never knew what would set him off
just never knew what would set him off
just never knew what would set him off now I don’t tell you these stories to
now I don’t tell you these stories to
now I don’t tell you these stories to make you feel bad or feel sorry for me
make you feel bad or feel sorry for me
make you feel bad or feel sorry for me there’s simply a reminder that
there’s simply a reminder that
there’s simply a reminder that disrespect dishonor and abuse are all
disrespect dishonor and abuse are all
disrespect dishonor and abuse are all too common for too many people
too common for too many people
too common for too many people especially women maybe for some of you
especially women maybe for some of you
especially women maybe for some of you in here and I want you to know that I
in here and I want you to know that I
in here and I want you to know that I understand now back then I had plenty of
understand now back then I had plenty of
understand now back then I had plenty of reasons to get angry but I was so afraid
reasons to get angry but I was so afraid
reasons to get angry but I was so afraid of anger so I I cut mine off I had no
of anger so I I cut mine off I had no
of anger so I I cut mine off I had no idea that there was even something like
idea that there was even something like
idea that there was even something like healthy anger and that it was the energy
healthy anger and that it was the energy
healthy anger and that it was the energy and fuel to help me rise up and speak
and fuel to help me rise up and speak
and fuel to help me rise up and speak out and create the change that I
out and create the change that I
out and create the change that I desperately needed in my life but now I
desperately needed in my life but now I
desperately needed in my life but now I know of course and I use my life
know of course and I use my life
know of course and I use my life experiences to inspire my life work and
experiences to inspire my life work and
experiences to inspire my life work and I help women connect to their healthy
I help women connect to their healthy
I help women connect to their healthy anger and become bitches when their life
anger and become bitches when their life
anger and become bitches when their life doesn’t work ladies it is time it’s time
doesn’t work ladies it is time it’s time
doesn’t work ladies it is time it’s time to change what doesn’t work once and for
to change what doesn’t work once and for
to change what doesn’t work once and for all
all
all and then we could use your support now
and then we could use your support now
and then we could use your support now the good news is we bitches we are good
the good news is we bitches we are good
the good news is we bitches we are good at changing things for the better we get
at changing things for the better we get
at changing things for the better we get it done and let me explain back in the
it done and let me explain back in the
it done and let me explain back in the 1920s
1920s
1920s the word bits used as a derogatory name
the word bits used as a derogatory name
the word bits used as a derogatory name for women
for women
for women was used more and more what happened in
was used more and more what happened in
was used more and more what happened in the 1920s the 19th amendment happened
the 1920s the 19th amendment happened
the 1920s the 19th amendment happened women got the right to vote thanks to
women got the right to vote thanks to
women got the right to vote thanks to the American suffragettes they had this
the American suffragettes they had this
the American suffragettes they had this radical belief that women could only be
radical belief that women could only be
radical belief that women could only be full American citizens if they had full
full American citizens if they had full
full American citizens if they had full American rights they were angry that
American rights they were angry that
American rights they were angry that women could not vote and they were angry
women could not vote and they were angry
women could not vote and they were angry that girls as young as 10 in America
that girls as young as 10 in America
that girls as young as 10 in America could be married they were angry that
could be married they were angry that
could be married they were angry that young women weren’t being admitted to
young women weren’t being admitted to
young women weren’t being admitted to colleges and universities and the list
colleges and universities and the list
colleges and universities and the list goes on and on their anger fueled great
goes on and on their anger fueled great
goes on and on their anger fueled great change but not everybody believed that
change but not everybody believed that
change but not everybody believed that women needed equal rights and so they
women needed equal rights and so they
women needed equal rights and so they believed that the suffragettes who are
believed that the suffragettes who are
believed that the suffragettes who are contemptible mean malicious and just
contemptible mean malicious and just
contemptible mean malicious and just plain bad women so in the 1920s when the
plain bad women so in the 1920s when the
plain bad women so in the 1920s when the word bitch was used more and more at the
word bitch was used more and more at the
word bitch was used more and more at the same time that women had more and more
same time that women had more and more
same time that women had more and more of a voice it seems pretty clear to me
of a voice it seems pretty clear to me
of a voice it seems pretty clear to me that the American suffragettes were the
that the American suffragettes were the
that the American suffragettes were the first American bitches and I say that
first American bitches and I say that
first American bitches and I say that with complete adoration for them now
with complete adoration for them now
with complete adoration for them now here’s the thing the American
here’s the thing the American
here’s the thing the American suffragettes were not mean malicious or
suffragettes were not mean malicious or
suffragettes were not mean malicious or contemptible they were awesome they were
contemptible they were awesome they were
contemptible they were awesome they were awesome and they were heroic and
awesome and they were heroic and
awesome and they were heroic and powerful and they weren’t bad women but
powerful and they weren’t bad women but
powerful and they weren’t bad women but they sure were badasses in the most
they sure were badasses in the most
they sure were badasses in the most honorable way and their anger well their
honorable way and their anger well their
honorable way and their anger well their anger was healthy and despite the
anger was healthy and despite the
anger was healthy and despite the oppressive inequalities of the time and
oppressive inequalities of the time and
oppressive inequalities of the time and being arrested and force-fed in jail the
being arrested and force-fed in jail the
being arrested and force-fed in jail the anger of the American suffragettes
anger of the American suffragettes
anger of the American suffragettes remained peaceful and that is why I say
remained peaceful and that is why I say
remained peaceful and that is why I say that there is nothing about being a
that there is nothing about being a
that there is nothing about being a bitch that deserves a bad rap nor does
bitch that deserves a bad rap nor does
bitch that deserves a bad rap nor does healthy anger ladies you
healthy anger ladies you
healthy anger ladies you anger can be your best friend and if
anger can be your best friend and if
anger can be your best friend and if becoming an honorable bitch is the only
becoming an honorable bitch is the only
becoming an honorable bitch is the only way to create an honorable life I say go
way to create an honorable life I say go
way to create an honorable life I say go for it right who agrees with me go for
for it right who agrees with me go for
for it right who agrees with me go for it yeah well no one told me that when I
it yeah well no one told me that when I
it yeah well no one told me that when I was younger and it took me into my late
was younger and it took me into my late
was younger and it took me into my late 20s before I even started becoming an
20s before I even started becoming an
20s before I even started becoming an honorable bitch it was when my life
honorable bitch it was when my life
honorable bitch it was when my life simply didn’t work and I need a lot of
simply didn’t work and I need a lot of
simply didn’t work and I need a lot of support so I started karate Tong pseudo
support so I started karate Tong pseudo
support so I started karate Tong pseudo are there any martial artists in here
are there any martial artists in here
are there any martial artists in here well if you are the late master DiPietro
well if you are the late master DiPietro
well if you are the late master DiPietro was my karate teacher he wasn’t from
was my karate teacher he wasn’t from
was my karate teacher he wasn’t from South Philadelphia and in my first
South Philadelphia and in my first
South Philadelphia and in my first lesson he said to me Laurie if you’re
lesson he said to me Laurie if you’re
lesson he said to me Laurie if you’re confronted with conflict walk away if
confronted with conflict walk away if
confronted with conflict walk away if you can but if you can’t I will teach
you can but if you can’t I will teach
you can but if you can’t I will teach you to defend yourself and to disarm the
you to defend yourself and to disarm the
you to defend yourself and to disarm the person who is offending you I learned
person who is offending you I learned
person who is offending you I learned quickly that I deserve to be honored and
quickly that I deserve to be honored and
quickly that I deserve to be honored and no one not a single person had the right
no one not a single person had the right
no one not a single person had the right to assault me verbally or physically now
to assault me verbally or physically now
to assault me verbally or physically now around that same time I was ending a
around that same time I was ending a
around that same time I was ending a relationship with a man who was he was
relationship with a man who was he was
relationship with a man who was he was very good at pushing me around with his
very good at pushing me around with his
very good at pushing me around with his words but I’ll take credit for that
words but I’ll take credit for that
words but I’ll take credit for that because by that time I was an expert at
because by that time I was an expert at
because by that time I was an expert at being a pushover and I had some bad news
being a pushover and I had some bad news
being a pushover and I had some bad news to share with him and I was afraid to do
to share with him and I was afraid to do
to share with him and I was afraid to do it because well I just assumed he was
it because well I just assumed he was
it because well I just assumed he was going to freak out and as soon as I had
going to freak out and as soon as I had
going to freak out and as soon as I had him on the phone and I told him I was
him on the phone and I told him I was
him on the phone and I told him I was right he started yelling at me and
right he started yelling at me and
right he started yelling at me and saying things about me that were simply
saying things about me that were simply
saying things about me that were simply not true but this time this time I was
not true but this time this time I was
not true but this time this time I was connected to my healthy anger and an
connected to my healthy anger and an
connected to my healthy anger and an inner karate and before I knew what
inner karate and before I knew what
inner karate and before I knew what these what blazed out of my mouth and I
these what blazed out of my mouth and I
these what blazed out of my mouth and I said to him if you don’t stop yelling at
said to him if you don’t stop yelling at
said to him if you don’t stop yelling at me I will hang up he did not stop so I
me I will hang up he did not stop so I
me I will hang up he did not stop so I hung up
that was my first day on becoming an
that was my first day on becoming an honorable bitch without healthy anger
honorable bitch without healthy anger
honorable bitch without healthy anger too many women remain silent and silence
too many women remain silent and silence
too many women remain silent and silence is a huge part of oppression and
is a huge part of oppression and
is a huge part of oppression and oppression is a huge part at what makes
oppression is a huge part at what makes
oppression is a huge part at what makes my blood boil and it motivates me to
my blood boil and it motivates me to
my blood boil and it motivates me to speak out for change just in case you
speak out for change just in case you
speak out for change just in case you haven’t noticed and that change starts
haven’t noticed and that change starts
haven’t noticed and that change starts with understanding the truth about what
with understanding the truth about what
with understanding the truth about what anger is and what it’s not it wasn’t
anger is and what it’s not it wasn’t
anger is and what it’s not it wasn’t healthy anger that hit me with a leather
healthy anger that hit me with a leather
healthy anger that hit me with a leather belt when I was little girl that was
belt when I was little girl that was
belt when I was little girl that was rage and healthy anger is not rage it
rage and healthy anger is not rage it
rage and healthy anger is not rage it wasn’t healthy anger that broke my heart
wasn’t healthy anger that broke my heart
wasn’t healthy anger that broke my heart and told me that I was worthless when I
and told me that I was worthless when I
and told me that I was worthless when I just wanted to play that was being mean
just wanted to play that was being mean
just wanted to play that was being mean and being mean is not healthy anger it
and being mean is not healthy anger it
and being mean is not healthy anger it was not healthy anger that pushed me
was not healthy anger that pushed me
was not healthy anger that pushed me through a glass door and gave me this
through a glass door and gave me this
through a glass door and gave me this scar in my nose that I see every single
scar in my nose that I see every single
scar in my nose that I see every single day that was violence and healthy anger
day that was violence and healthy anger
day that was violence and healthy anger is not violence healthy anger is a
is not violence healthy anger is a
is not violence healthy anger is a natural emotion that can motivate you to
natural emotion that can motivate you to
natural emotion that can motivate you to create positive change if you let it it
create positive change if you let it it
create positive change if you let it it can be a simple no to somebody so you
can be a simple no to somebody so you
can be a simple no to somebody so you can say yes to yourself or it can
can say yes to yourself or it can
can say yes to yourself or it can motivate you to travel the country to
motivate you to travel the country to
motivate you to travel the country to raise awareness and change laws like it
raise awareness and change laws like it
raise awareness and change laws like it did for the suffragettes here’s the
did for the suffragettes here’s the
did for the suffragettes here’s the thing how you feel is your truth and you
thing how you feel is your truth and you
thing how you feel is your truth and you were right – how you feel and when
were right – how you feel and when
were right – how you feel and when you’re angry
you’re angry
you’re angry there is nothing wrong with you now you
there is nothing wrong with you now you
there is nothing wrong with you now you might not like this part healthy anger
might not like this part healthy anger
might not like this part healthy anger does not include blame I wanted to blame
does not include blame I wanted to blame
does not include blame I wanted to blame a lot of people a lot of people blamed
a lot of people a lot of people blamed
a lot of people a lot of people blamed me but blame does not a swage healthy
me but blame does not a swage healthy
me but blame does not a swage healthy anger it’s not honorable and it doesn’t
anger it’s not honorable and it doesn’t
anger it’s not honorable and it doesn’t create positive change how you respond
create positive change how you respond
create positive change how you respond to your anger is your responsibility
to your anger is your responsibility
to your anger is your responsibility and I recommend responding with truth
and I recommend responding with truth
and I recommend responding with truth and honor and that becomes more easy
and honor and that becomes more easy
and honor and that becomes more easy when you connect to the healthy energy
when you connect to the healthy energy
when you connect to the healthy energy inside of you and disconnect from all of
inside of you and disconnect from all of
inside of you and disconnect from all of the drama on the outside of you and that
the drama on the outside of you and that
the drama on the outside of you and that requires self-awareness
requires self-awareness
requires self-awareness so I’d like to end my talk tonight with
so I’d like to end my talk tonight with
so I’d like to end my talk tonight with a very brief practice of self-awareness
a very brief practice of self-awareness
a very brief practice of self-awareness I’ve talked a lot about my anger or lack
I’ve talked a lot about my anger or lack
I’ve talked a lot about my anger or lack thereof and I would like to create a
thereof and I would like to create a
thereof and I would like to create a little space for yours and the only
little space for yours and the only
little space for yours and the only thing it requires is a little bit of
thing it requires is a little bit of
thing it requires is a little bit of curiosity okay so I welcome you to and
curiosity okay so I welcome you to and
curiosity okay so I welcome you to and invite you to close your eyes and bring
invite you to close your eyes and bring
invite you to close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath just
your attention to your breath just
your attention to your breath just breathe in and out and just breathe
breathe in and out and just breathe
breathe in and out and just breathe normally and naturally and allow your
normally and naturally and allow your
normally and naturally and allow your awareness to drop deeper and deeper
awareness to drop deeper and deeper
awareness to drop deeper and deeper inside of you as you become aware of
inside of you as you become aware of
inside of you as you become aware of your body and breathe now bring to your
your body and breathe now bring to your
your body and breathe now bring to your awareness something that makes you angry
awareness something that makes you angry
awareness something that makes you angry in your life it can be anything it could
in your life it can be anything it could
in your life it can be anything it could be something at work or at home in the
be something at work or at home in the
be something at work or at home in the news or when you’re driving anything at
news or when you’re driving anything at
news or when you’re driving anything at all just bring that into your awareness
all just bring that into your awareness
all just bring that into your awareness and breathe and now here’s where the
and breathe and now here’s where the
and breathe and now here’s where the curiosity comes in be curious of what’s
curiosity comes in be curious of what’s
curiosity comes in be curious of what’s going on inside your body notice what
going on inside your body notice what
going on inside your body notice what your anger feels like and where you feel
your anger feels like and where you feel
your anger feels like and where you feel it and breathe and if you don’t notice
it and breathe and if you don’t notice
it and breathe and if you don’t notice much of anything that’s okay to give
much of anything that’s okay to give
much of anything that’s okay to give yourself permission to be just as you
yourself permission to be just as you
yourself permission to be just as you are
are
are just breathe in breathe out and then put
just breathe in breathe out and then put
just breathe in breathe out and then put your attention back on your breath put
your attention back on your breath put
your attention back on your breath put it on in voice and when you’re ready you
it on in voice and when you’re ready you
it on in voice and when you’re ready you can open your eyes and join me back in
can open your eyes and join me back in
can open your eyes and join me back in this shared space now that was a very
this shared space now that was a very
this shared space now that was a very brief practice of self awareness I
brief practice of self awareness I
brief practice of self awareness I recommend I recommend practicing
recommend I recommend practicing
recommend I recommend practicing self-awareness often like every day
self-awareness often like every day
self-awareness often like every day often
often
often and for longer periods of time
and for longer periods of time
and for longer periods of time especially when you’re angry and when
especially when you’re angry and when
especially when you’re angry and when you connect to that healthy emotional
you connect to that healthy emotional
you connect to that healthy emotional energy within you ask what message of
energy within you ask what message of
energy within you ask what message of change does it have for you my wish for
change does it have for you my wish for
change does it have for you my wish for you is that every message of change
you is that every message of change
you is that every message of change takes you closer and closer to your most
takes you closer and closer to your most
takes you closer and closer to your most fulfilling life one that is filled with
fulfilling life one that is filled with
fulfilling life one that is filled with truth and honor and ladies if that means
truth and honor and ladies if that means
truth and honor and ladies if that means an honorable approach to being a bitch
an honorable approach to being a bitch
an honorable approach to being a bitch for you welcome to the club thank you
for you welcome to the club thank you
for you welcome to the club thank you [Applause]
”
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