I sit legs crossed not once but twice taking up the space you have taught me
taking up the space you have taught me
taking up the space you have taught me I’m allowed to occupy curling up into a
I’m allowed to occupy curling up into a
I’m allowed to occupy curling up into a smaller mass hoping to go overlooked
smaller mass hoping to go overlooked
smaller mass hoping to go overlooked praying to a god I no longer believe in
praying to a god I no longer believe in
praying to a god I no longer believe in that I will somehow go unnoticed all
that I will somehow go unnoticed all
that I will somehow go unnoticed all these years hearing my disordered mind
these years hearing my disordered mind
these years hearing my disordered mind speak of a promised land looming around
speak of a promised land looming around
speak of a promised land looming around the corner of yet one more and never
the corner of yet one more and never
the corner of yet one more and never will slip into darkness but you the
will slip into darkness but you the
will slip into darkness but you the embodiment of the voice living between
embodiment of the voice living between
embodiment of the voice living between my ears stating my worthlessness like a
my ears stating my worthlessness like a
my ears stating my worthlessness like a skipping record so much is that I no
skipping record so much is that I no
skipping record so much is that I no longer can even fathom it plain clear
longer can even fathom it plain clear
longer can even fathom it plain clear through this is the place I find myself
through this is the place I find myself
through this is the place I find myself sitting legs crossed not once but twice
sitting legs crossed not once but twice
sitting legs crossed not once but twice wondering why it seems every woman
wondering why it seems every woman
wondering why it seems every woman around me has a similar story my
around me has a similar story my
around me has a similar story my existence but not my experience
existence but not my experience
existence but not my experience preferential when deciding whose
preferential when deciding whose
preferential when deciding whose daughter to spare what possessed you to
daughter to spare what possessed you to
daughter to spare what possessed you to think that you owned my body that you
think that you owned my body that you
think that you owned my body that you could reach your nasty filthy hands into
could reach your nasty filthy hands into
could reach your nasty filthy hands into the depths of my soul that it’s not ok
the depths of my soul that it’s not ok
the depths of my soul that it’s not ok to help yourself to something unless
to help yourself to something unless
to help yourself to something unless they lack a y-chromosome and to the man
they lack a y-chromosome and to the man
they lack a y-chromosome and to the man on the stand who wants my support I
on the stand who wants my support I
on the stand who wants my support I guess I don’t really blame you shouldn’t
guess I don’t really blame you shouldn’t
guess I don’t really blame you shouldn’t have expected a buck to host a howitzer
have expected a buck to host a howitzer
have expected a buck to host a howitzer affair but since my age has not yet
affair but since my age has not yet
affair but since my age has not yet allowed me to understand the pain when
allowed me to understand the pain when
allowed me to understand the pain when apparently feels when paying I simply
apparently feels when paying I simply
apparently feels when paying I simply can only observe your disquieted take on
can only observe your disquieted take on
can only observe your disquieted take on tithing I imagine it doesn’t hurt quite
tithing I imagine it doesn’t hurt quite
tithing I imagine it doesn’t hurt quite as much he’s being held up against a
as much he’s being held up against a
as much he’s being held up against a wall my world turning black only to find
wall my world turning black only to find
wall my world turning black only to find the people that I thought I could trust
the people that I thought I could trust
the people that I thought I could trust slowly drifting away sitting in the
slowly drifting away sitting in the
slowly drifting away sitting in the third row
third row
third row legs crossed not once but twice hoping
legs crossed not once but twice hoping
legs crossed not once but twice hoping you don’t see the bruises circling my
you don’t see the bruises circling my
you don’t see the bruises circling my neck or the one on the back of my thighs
neck or the one on the back of my thighs
neck or the one on the back of my thighs so largely rings tears to my eyes as it
so largely rings tears to my eyes as it
so largely rings tears to my eyes as it presses against my seat busying myself
presses against my seat busying myself
presses against my seat busying myself pretending to care about your post
pretending to care about your post
pretending to care about your post graduation plans promised by strangers
graduation plans promised by strangers
graduation plans promised by strangers that the men with guns probing my story
that the men with guns probing my story
that the men with guns probing my story were on my side
were on my side
were on my side as I sit hoping wishing it was all a
as I sit hoping wishing it was all a
as I sit hoping wishing it was all a dream I had already fought my battle I
dream I had already fought my battle I
dream I had already fought my battle I had already looked death in the face and
had already looked death in the face and
had already looked death in the face and crawled my way back food barely passing
crawled my way back food barely passing
crawled my way back food barely passing between my teeth hoping to find
between my teeth hoping to find
between my teeth hoping to find happiness within the comfort of my
happiness within the comfort of my
happiness within the comfort of my thighs not touching I tip my hat to you
thighs not touching I tip my hat to you
thighs not touching I tip my hat to you the holder of such a vile myth a
the holder of such a vile myth a
the holder of such a vile myth a circular obsession I hated more than the
circular obsession I hated more than the
circular obsession I hated more than the burn in my throat after overcompensating
burn in my throat after overcompensating
burn in my throat after overcompensating for not eating all the week before
for not eating all the week before
for not eating all the week before either mimicking or hating the
either mimicking or hating the
either mimicking or hating the perfectionism society has taught me to
perfectionism society has taught me to
perfectionism society has taught me to live with telling us don’t worry we’ll
live with telling us don’t worry we’ll
live with telling us don’t worry we’ll provide for you given there’s no fuss
provide for you given there’s no fuss
provide for you given there’s no fuss and given you don’t struggle just be
and given you don’t struggle just be
and given you don’t struggle just be quiet let him take you let them rake you
quiet let him take you let them rake you
quiet let him take you let them rake you let it snake your life right from you
let it snake your life right from you
let it snake your life right from you idiot wind blowing every time you move
idiot wind blowing every time you move
idiot wind blowing every time you move your teeth I wish for just one moment
your teeth I wish for just one moment
your teeth I wish for just one moment you could stay in my place and see what
you could stay in my place and see what
you could stay in my place and see what hate really looks like because if you
hate really looks like because if you
hate really looks like because if you did you would bury that towel so far
did you would bury that towel so far
did you would bury that towel so far into your own face just hoping to catch
into your own face just hoping to catch
into your own face just hoping to catch the tears as I sit hearing another story
the tears as I sit hearing another story
the tears as I sit hearing another story of another girl wondering why I was
of another girl wondering why I was
of another girl wondering why I was chosen to remain bottling the guilt and
chosen to remain bottling the guilt and
chosen to remain bottling the guilt and self-confidence I’d been pretending to
self-confidence I’d been pretending to
self-confidence I’d been pretending to build for years and putting it away for
build for years and putting it away for
build for years and putting it away for another day at another time sitting legs
another day at another time sitting legs
another day at another time sitting legs crossed not once but twice looking out
crossed not once but twice looking out
crossed not once but twice looking out at all of you wondering if someone will
at all of you wondering if someone will
at all of you wondering if someone will speak up worry and anticipation looking
speak up worry and anticipation looking
speak up worry and anticipation looking back at me hoping I will stand
one in four college women will be raped
one in four college women will be raped during their time at university what the
during their time at university what the
during their time at university what the has to happen the only time we talk
has to happen the only time we talk
has to happen the only time we talk about it is when a young woman loses her
about it is when a young woman loses her
about it is when a young woman loses her life because so many of you have similar
life because so many of you have similar
life because so many of you have similar stories an ode to the original
stories an ode to the original
stories an ode to the original gentlemen’s club we the people sitting
gentlemen’s club we the people sitting
gentlemen’s club we the people sitting legs crossed not once but twice I now
legs crossed not once but twice I now
legs crossed not once but twice I now understand why women are viewed as
understand why women are viewed as
understand why women are viewed as second-class citizens I cope with having
second-class citizens I cope with having
second-class citizens I cope with having a struggle free past living in a white
a struggle free past living in a white
a struggle free past living in a white picket fence bubble I cope is surviving
picket fence bubble I cope is surviving
picket fence bubble I cope is surviving what so many have not their souls
what so many have not their souls
what so many have not their souls haunting my every move begging me to say
haunting my every move begging me to say
haunting my every move begging me to say something something to fight rape
something something to fight rape
something something to fight rape culture misogyny society as I’m labeled
culture misogyny society as I’m labeled
culture misogyny society as I’m labeled young naive and radical just begging for
young naive and radical just begging for
young naive and radical just begging for some sort of justice to be given feeling
some sort of justice to be given feeling
some sort of justice to be given feeling as though I haven’t dealt trick cards
as though I haven’t dealt trick cards
as though I haven’t dealt trick cards hoping to change someone anyone’s mind
hoping to change someone anyone’s mind
hoping to change someone anyone’s mind kicking and screaming a caged bird
kicking and screaming a caged bird
kicking and screaming a caged bird singing of freedom I am demanding to be
singing of freedom I am demanding to be
singing of freedom I am demanding to be heard among your low hum of mindless
heard among your low hum of mindless
heard among your low hum of mindless chatter refusing to be silenced as I sit
chatter refusing to be silenced as I sit
chatter refusing to be silenced as I sit legs crossed just once
legs crossed just once
legs crossed just once ready to take the stand
”
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