I feel so lucky to be here if if you can’t tell I’m very sick
can’t tell I’m very sick
can’t tell I’m very sick yesterday I spent the day in bed and
today fortunately I made it out of bed
today fortunately I made it out of bed and I get to celebrate that one reason
and I get to celebrate that one reason
and I get to celebrate that one reason why I get to celebrate that is because I
why I get to celebrate that is because I
why I get to celebrate that is because I had the kind of sickness that we get to
had the kind of sickness that we get to
had the kind of sickness that we get to talk about that we don’t actively try to
talk about that we don’t actively try to
talk about that we don’t actively try to hide and that sometimes can even feel
hide and that sometimes can even feel
hide and that sometimes can even feel like a bit of an old friend and this is
like a bit of an old friend and this is
like a bit of an old friend and this is what I want for madness yes madness it’s
what I want for madness yes madness it’s
what I want for madness yes madness it’s a big scary word nothing more nothing
a big scary word nothing more nothing
a big scary word nothing more nothing less
less
less madness also loosely refers to a number
madness also loosely refers to a number
madness also loosely refers to a number of sicknesses or ailments that we don’t
of sicknesses or ailments that we don’t
of sicknesses or ailments that we don’t typically talk about that we put a lot
typically talk about that we put a lot
typically talk about that we put a lot of energy into trying to hide and not
of energy into trying to hide and not
of energy into trying to hide and not surprisingly these ailments and
surprisingly these ailments and
surprisingly these ailments and sicknesses continue to grow and they’re
sicknesses continue to grow and they’re
sicknesses continue to grow and they’re not disappearing they don’t get smaller
not disappearing they don’t get smaller
not disappearing they don’t get smaller despite a lot more awareness and
despite a lot more awareness and
despite a lot more awareness and treatment options in fact by some
treatment options in fact by some
treatment options in fact by some measures suicide is the one form of
measures suicide is the one form of
measures suicide is the one form of death that is rising among all
death that is rising among all
death that is rising among all categories and age groups from
categories and age groups from
categories and age groups from six-year-olds
six-year-olds
six-year-olds to 90 year olds with a lot of teenagers
to 90 year olds with a lot of teenagers
to 90 year olds with a lot of teenagers and baby boomers losing their lives to
and baby boomers losing their lives to
and baby boomers losing their lives to suicide as well and this is just
suicide as well and this is just
suicide as well and this is just reported deaths by suicide this doesn’t
reported deaths by suicide this doesn’t
reported deaths by suicide this doesn’t even begin to count the numbers of
even begin to count the numbers of
even begin to count the numbers of people who simply waste away or let
people who simply waste away or let
people who simply waste away or let themselves die and yes not included in
themselves die and yes not included in
themselves die and yes not included in in these numbers as well is are the
in these numbers as well is are the
in these numbers as well is are the numbers of people who take a lot of
numbers of people who take a lot of
numbers of people who take a lot of others out with them on their way down
so this is all to say that madness or
so this is all to say that madness or mental illness or whatever you want to
mental illness or whatever you want to
mental illness or whatever you want to call it is a very smart disease it by
call it is a very smart disease it by
call it is a very smart disease it by convincing us to keep it a secret
convincing us to keep it a secret
convincing us to keep it a secret it makes us disappear meanwhile it
it makes us disappear meanwhile it
it makes us disappear meanwhile it doesn’t go anywhere but I want to flip
doesn’t go anywhere but I want to flip
doesn’t go anywhere but I want to flip this equation I want to turn notions of
this equation I want to turn notions of
this equation I want to turn notions of mental illness on their heads and I want
mental illness on their heads and I want
mental illness on their heads and I want to do that by having us think about
to do that by having us think about
to do that by having us think about location location location and where we
location location location and where we
location location location and where we put things see the house where I grew up
put things see the house where I grew up
put things see the house where I grew up in was a four bedroom pictured picture
in was a four bedroom pictured picture
in was a four bedroom pictured picture windowed house that wouldn’t have looked
windowed house that wouldn’t have looked
windowed house that wouldn’t have looked like a high level care facility from the
like a high level care facility from the
like a high level care facility from the outside at all or from the inside we had
outside at all or from the inside we had
outside at all or from the inside we had so much love and German American
so much love and German American
so much love and German American stoicism in my big baby boom family that
stoicism in my big baby boom family that
stoicism in my big baby boom family that as long as my dad could keep feeding us
as long as my dad could keep feeding us
as long as my dad could keep feeding us pulling us out of bed and turning our
pulling us out of bed and turning our
pulling us out of bed and turning our station wagon into an ambulance
station wagon into an ambulance
station wagon into an ambulance every now and again we hardly noticed
every now and again we hardly noticed
every now and again we hardly noticed how many of us kept disappearing and
how many of us kept disappearing and
how many of us kept disappearing and that my mother if she made it out of the
that my mother if she made it out of the
that my mother if she made it out of the back areas of our house at all was
back areas of our house at all was
back areas of our house at all was fairly chained to her swivel rocker in
fairly chained to her swivel rocker in
fairly chained to her swivel rocker in the living room which was always in
the living room which was always in
the living room which was always in front of the picture window and I of
front of the picture window and I of
front of the picture window and I of course didn’t notice my decreasing
course didn’t notice my decreasing
course didn’t notice my decreasing mobility as a little girl I was a dancer
mobility as a little girl I was a dancer
mobility as a little girl I was a dancer a gymnast a fellow user of sidewalks
a gymnast a fellow user of sidewalks
a gymnast a fellow user of sidewalks like my dad not prone to all the
like my dad not prone to all the
like my dad not prone to all the shortcuts and and less visible routes
shortcuts and and less visible routes
shortcuts and and less visible routes that many of my five older siblings had
that many of my five older siblings had
that many of my five older siblings had begun to take already as I graduated
begun to take already as I graduated
begun to take already as I graduated from high school and college and managed
from high school and college and managed
from high school and college and managed to hold on to a relationship with
to hold on to a relationship with
to hold on to a relationship with someone who really loved me and went to
someone who really loved me and went to
someone who really loved me and went to graduate school and had three warm
graduate school and had three warm
graduate school and had three warm loving children I thought I’d escaped
loving children I thought I’d escaped
loving children I thought I’d escaped all my mom’s corners in if anyone was
all my mom’s corners in if anyone was
all my mom’s corners in if anyone was blind
blind
blind it was my spouse and my kids they wanted
it was my spouse and my kids they wanted
it was my spouse and my kids they wanted me to go to the grocery store how could
me to go to the grocery store how could
me to go to the grocery store how could I do that
didn’t they realize that for me to leave
didn’t they realize that for me to leave my study where I kept writing the same
my study where I kept writing the same
my study where I kept writing the same book over and over and over was to risk
book over and over and over was to risk
book over and over and over was to risk a fate far worse than an empty
a fate far worse than an empty
a fate far worse than an empty refrigerator you know the way my mind
refrigerator you know the way my mind
refrigerator you know the way my mind was working or not working at that time
was working or not working at that time
was working or not working at that time it was it was sort of like if I were to
it was it was sort of like if I were to
it was it was sort of like if I were to appear in the produce aisle or the pasta
appear in the produce aisle or the pasta
appear in the produce aisle or the pasta aisle or for some reason especially the
aisle or for some reason especially the
aisle or for some reason especially the frozen pizza aisle then I might
frozen pizza aisle then I might
frozen pizza aisle then I might disappear
disappear
disappear somehow it didn’t make any sense but
somehow it didn’t make any sense but
somehow it didn’t make any sense but fortunately my husband and my kids
fortunately my husband and my kids
fortunately my husband and my kids weren’t fooled by my madness even if it
weren’t fooled by my madness even if it
weren’t fooled by my madness even if it took roughly 20 years for them to pull
took roughly 20 years for them to pull
took roughly 20 years for them to pull me out of my self-imposed solitary
me out of my self-imposed solitary
me out of my self-imposed solitary confinement
confinement
confinement they never gave up they stood up to that
they never gave up they stood up to that
they never gave up they stood up to that big scary monster that wanted to huff
big scary monster that wanted to huff
big scary monster that wanted to huff and puff and blow our house down that’s
and puff and blow our house down that’s
and puff and blow our house down that’s what I have to offer a simple idea that
what I have to offer a simple idea that
what I have to offer a simple idea that might help you stand up to any big scary
might help you stand up to any big scary
might help you stand up to any big scary monsters in your midst what if we all
monsters in your midst what if we all
monsters in your midst what if we all treated our mental health like our
treated our mental health like our
treated our mental health like our dental health what if we didn’t wait for
dental health what if we didn’t wait for
dental health what if we didn’t wait for crises and diagnosis but instead
crises and diagnosis but instead
crises and diagnosis but instead incorporated mental health care into our
incorporated mental health care into our
incorporated mental health care into our family wellness plan from day
family wellness plan from day
family wellness plan from day one now I realize that with the
one now I realize that with the
one now I realize that with the Affordable Care Act possibly going away
Affordable Care Act possibly going away
Affordable Care Act possibly going away this could get a little trickier but
this could get a little trickier but
this could get a little trickier but what I’m talking about is the idea that
what I’m talking about is the idea that
what I’m talking about is the idea that what we usually put last on the list we
what we usually put last on the list we
what we usually put last on the list we would move up to first so the maybe even
would move up to first so the maybe even
would move up to first so the maybe even before picking up the phone to call our
before picking up the phone to call our
before picking up the phone to call our favorite general practitioner or our
favorite general practitioner or our
favorite general practitioner or our favorite chiropractor or our favorite
favorite chiropractor or our favorite
favorite chiropractor or our favorite podiatrist we might pick up the phone
podiatrist we might pick up the phone
podiatrist we might pick up the phone and call our favorite mental health
and call our favorite mental health
and call our favorite mental health professional could this work could this
professional could this work could this
professional could this work could this possibly allow us to beat the monster at
possibly allow us to beat the monster at
possibly allow us to beat the monster at its own game you know I can’t say
its own game you know I can’t say
its own game you know I can’t say because frankly I don’t know of any
because frankly I don’t know of any
because frankly I don’t know of any research or studies that approach mental
research or studies that approach mental
research or studies that approach mental health from a proactive place like this
health from a proactive place like this
health from a proactive place like this what I can say is that since becoming a
what I can say is that since becoming a
what I can say is that since becoming a family that treats our mental health
family that treats our mental health
family that treats our mental health like our dental health things have
like our dental health things have
like our dental health things have become wonderfully ho-hum around our
become wonderfully ho-hum around our
become wonderfully ho-hum around our house all five of us now have our
house all five of us now have our
house all five of us now have our favorite therapists and some of us have
favorite therapists and some of us have
favorite therapists and some of us have our favorite psychiatrists things aren’t
our favorite psychiatrists things aren’t
our favorite psychiatrists things aren’t perfect but they’re less eventful than
perfect but they’re less eventful than
perfect but they’re less eventful than when all of us kept trying to hide
when all of us kept trying to hide
when all of us kept trying to hide our mental colds and flus you see we
our mental colds and flus you see we
our mental colds and flus you see we pretend that um we can hide these things
pretend that um we can hide these things
pretend that um we can hide these things and if we just hold it in they’ll go
and if we just hold it in they’ll go
and if we just hold it in they’ll go away somehow but actually it’s all
away somehow but actually it’s all
away somehow but actually it’s all pretty obvious think about a person who
pretty obvious think about a person who
pretty obvious think about a person who is shut down or self isolating or
is shut down or self isolating or
is shut down or self isolating or hurting others for no good reason or
hurting others for no good reason or
hurting others for no good reason or pushing away people who love them and
pushing away people who love them and
pushing away people who love them and especially when that person needs those
especially when that person needs those
especially when that person needs those other people think about that there’s
other people think about that there’s
other people think about that there’s something wrong with that picture
something wrong with that picture
something wrong with that picture just as there’s something wrong with the
just as there’s something wrong with the
just as there’s something wrong with the picture of a person who has pneumonia
picture of a person who has pneumonia
picture of a person who has pneumonia for example and decides to run a
for example and decides to run a
for example and decides to run a marathon or swim the English Channel
marathon or swim the English Channel
marathon or swim the English Channel this isn’t to say that a lot of mental
this isn’t to say that a lot of mental
this isn’t to say that a lot of mental sniffles and coughs can’t go away on
sniffles and coughs can’t go away on
sniffles and coughs can’t go away on their own
their own
their own but let me remind you of what got me
but let me remind you of what got me
but let me remind you of what got me here today one I didn’t try to hide my
here today one I didn’t try to hide my
here today one I didn’t try to hide my cold – I went straight to bed
cold – I went straight to bed
cold – I went straight to bed three my family checked on me and and
three my family checked on me and and
three my family checked on me and and brought me anything I wanted and I have
brought me anything I wanted and I have
brought me anything I wanted and I have to say that um this strategy has been
to say that um this strategy has been
to say that um this strategy has been helping me with my recurring bouts of
helping me with my recurring bouts of
helping me with my recurring bouts of depression and anxiety and mania – I
depression and anxiety and mania – I
depression and anxiety and mania – I have begun to I’ve begun to find that
have begun to I’ve begun to find that
have begun to I’ve begun to find that just by talking about them the way I
just by talking about them the way I
just by talking about them the way I would talk about any other ailment seems
would talk about any other ailment seems
would talk about any other ailment seems to
to
to um seems to help and in some cases it
um seems to help and in some cases it
um seems to help and in some cases it feels like it almost makes them go away
feels like it almost makes them go away
feels like it almost makes them go away it’s almost like our gray matter just
it’s almost like our gray matter just
it’s almost like our gray matter just wants a little fresh air a little light
wants a little fresh air a little light
wants a little fresh air a little light on the subject for in the immortal words
on the subject for in the immortal words
on the subject for in the immortal words of Julie Andrews nothing comes from
of Julie Andrews nothing comes from
of Julie Andrews nothing comes from nothing nothing ever could
so maybe the monster just wants to be
so maybe the monster just wants to be seen to and seen for what it is as
seen to and seen for what it is as
seen to and seen for what it is as common as the common cold nothing more
common as the common cold nothing more
common as the common cold nothing more nothing less than a part of life you see
nothing less than a part of life you see
nothing less than a part of life you see I grew up in a house where my mom always
I grew up in a house where my mom always
I grew up in a house where my mom always kept the curtains open thanks
kept the curtains open thanks
kept the curtains open thanks [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
”
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