oh it’s amazing I’m good a biochem major son so I hope I haven’t raised her
son so I hope I haven’t raised her
son so I hope I haven’t raised her expectations too far anyway I’d like to
expectations too far anyway I’d like to
expectations too far anyway I’d like to thank a leech for organizing the event
thank a leech for organizing the event
thank a leech for organizing the event and inviting me the truth is it’s always
and inviting me the truth is it’s always
and inviting me the truth is it’s always nice to be asked to speak and so I want
nice to be asked to speak and so I want
nice to be asked to speak and so I want to start by telling you a story that I
to start by telling you a story that I
to start by telling you a story that I read a couple years ago in a book that I
read a couple years ago in a book that I
read a couple years ago in a book that I can never remember the name of and by an
can never remember the name of and by an
can never remember the name of and by an author that I can never remember the
author that I can never remember the
author that I can never remember the name but the book was about how men and
name but the book was about how men and
name but the book was about how men and women deal with different issues and it
women deal with different issues and it
women deal with different issues and it was a particular section in the where he
was a particular section in the where he
was a particular section in the where he was talking to two married Cotton’s both
was talking to two married Cotton’s both
was talking to two married Cotton’s both of whom had been affected by a suicide
of whom had been affected by a suicide
of whom had been affected by a suicide in their family in the recent past and
in their family in the recent past and
in their family in the recent past and both the women were really worried about
both the women were really worried about
both the women were really worried about their husband because their husband
their husband because their husband
their husband because their husband wasn’t opening up for talking about the
wasn’t opening up for talking about the
wasn’t opening up for talking about the effects or even what had happened with
effects or even what had happened with
effects or even what had happened with the suicide so what he did was he got
the suicide so what he did was he got
the suicide so what he did was he got the two cops together we took him to a
the two cops together we took him to a
the two cops together we took him to a cafe and he took the two women and he
cafe and he took the two women and he
cafe and he took the two women and he planed him over there or a table he took
planed him over there or a table he took
planed him over there or a table he took the two men he planked more over there
the two men he planked more over there
the two men he planked more over there at a table and he said I’ll give you an
at a table and he said I’ll give you an
at a table and he said I’ll give you an hour have a chat so I came back and I
hour have a chat so I came back and I
hour have a chat so I came back and I lately had it were were the two women
lately had it were were the two women
lately had it were were the two women said what you think and they said well
said what you think and they said well
said what you think and they said well actually really great thing but it was a
actually really great thing but it was a
actually really great thing but it was a complete waste eternity with him they
complete waste eternity with him they
complete waste eternity with him they hardly opened a month aging away we even
hardly opened a month aging away we even
hardly opened a month aging away we even bothered so then he went to the two men
bothered so then he went to the two men
bothered so then he went to the two men and he said to me you know what do you
and he said to me you know what do you
and he said to me you know what do you think and until them said exactly the
think and until them said exactly the
think and until them said exactly the same thing best thing I ever did to
same thing best thing I ever did to
same thing best thing I ever did to actually sit and speak with somebody who
actually sit and speak with somebody who
actually sit and speak with somebody who I knew understood what he was going
I knew understood what he was going
I knew understood what he was going through best thing I ever did
through best thing I ever did
through best thing I ever did now what can we glean from that well the
now what can we glean from that well the
now what can we glean from that well the first thing is an actual shocking piece
first thing is an actual shocking piece
first thing is an actual shocking piece of news the truth is men and women are
of news the truth is men and women are
of news the truth is men and women are different and the truth is men and women
different and the truth is men and women
different and the truth is men and women communicate differently and maybe just
communicate differently and maybe just
communicate differently and maybe just maybe the truth is we need to accept
maybe the truth is we need to accept
maybe the truth is we need to accept that and start to work with that now a
that and start to work with that now a
that and start to work with that now a little while after I read that I was
little while after I read that I was
little while after I read that I was listening to write on top early radio
listening to write on top early radio
listening to write on top early radio show one morning not something I do very
show one morning not something I do very
show one morning not something I do very often but you know
and he was they were actually doing a
and he was they were actually doing a segment on bullying and it was very
segment on bullying and it was very
segment on bullying and it was very interesting saying when I ended up
interesting saying when I ended up
interesting saying when I ended up bringing the show and saying look over
bringing the show and saying look over
bringing the show and saying look over other story about bullying that I’d like
other story about bullying that I’d like
other story about bullying that I’d like to share with you and they ask you to
to share with you and they ask you to
to share with you and they ask you to buy now and so I did and I told him this
buy now and so I did and I told him this
buy now and so I did and I told him this story in 1989 I was on a course with the
story in 1989 I was on a course with the
story in 1989 I was on a course with the Irish Navy which is a military
Irish Navy which is a military
Irish Navy which is a military organization I got lots of people don’t
organization I got lots of people don’t
organization I got lots of people don’t think it is what it is so it’s all men
think it is what it is so it’s all men
think it is what it is so it’s all men there was no women in the ocean area
there was no women in the ocean area
there was no women in the ocean area back then it was his back but then as it
back then it was his back but then as it
back then it was his back but then as it is known and we were all young and
is known and we were all young and
is known and we were all young and there’s a lot of testosterone around and
there’s a lot of testosterone around and
there’s a lot of testosterone around and a lot of masculinity wrong but there’s
a lot of masculinity wrong but there’s
a lot of masculinity wrong but there’s one guy under course and he’s new to the
one guy under course and he’s new to the
one guy under course and he’s new to the name and he’s quiet and he’s very bright
name and he’s quiet and he’s very bright
name and he’s quiet and he’s very bright and he’s well thought of by our
and he’s well thought of by our
and he’s well thought of by our superiors and he’s probably just a
superiors and he’s probably just a
superiors and he’s probably just a little bit too good to be true so he
little bit too good to be true so he
little bit too good to be true so he took the piss out of him and we had
took the piss out of him and we had
took the piss out of him and we had grateful
grateful
grateful so we fast forward to the year 2011
so we fast forward to the year 2011
so we fast forward to the year 2011 years later and I’m I’m at sea with this
years later and I’m I’m at sea with this
years later and I’m I’m at sea with this new very quiet guy and he’s become a
new very quiet guy and he’s become a
new very quiet guy and he’s become a friend to me and we’re sitting in the
friend to me and we’re sitting in the
friend to me and we’re sitting in the mess one day the mess is the bar for
mess one day the mess is the bar for
mess one day the mess is the bar for those who don’t have them to the
those who don’t have them to the
those who don’t have them to the military mingle
military mingle
military mingle and we’re having a couple of lions just
and we’re having a couple of lions just
and we’re having a couple of lions just the two of us and you know we start
the two of us and you know we start
the two of us and you know we start talking with the old times as you do and
talking with the old times as you do and
talking with the old times as you do and the course comes up and he said to me
the course comes up and he said to me
the course comes up and he said to me can I tell you something about that time
can I tell you something about that time
can I tell you something about that time of my life was she was cross again so he
of my life was she was cross again so he
of my life was she was cross again so he told me that every weekend that course
told me that every weekend that course
told me that every weekend that course which lasted six months he went home to
which lasted six months he went home to
which lasted six months he went home to Dublin and every Sunday evening before
Dublin and every Sunday evening before
Dublin and every Sunday evening before he got the train back to Cork his
he got the train back to Cork his
he got the train back to Cork his brother drove around Dublin for two
brother drove around Dublin for two
brother drove around Dublin for two hours while he sobbed his heart off at
hours while he sobbed his heart off at
hours while he sobbed his heart off at the thought coming back to us no I don’t
the thought coming back to us no I don’t
the thought coming back to us no I don’t need to tell anybody here that that
need to tell anybody here that that
need to tell anybody here that that wasn’t an easy thing for me to him and I
wasn’t an easy thing for me to him and I
wasn’t an easy thing for me to him and I had to go and have a long hard look and
had to go and have a long hard look and
had to go and have a long hard look and think about myself when that
think about myself when that
think about myself when that conversation ended and I had to come to
conversation ended and I had to come to
conversation ended and I had to come to accept that in that situation I was the
accept that in that situation I was the
accept that in that situation I was the bully or at least there was one of the
bully or at least there was one of the
bully or at least there was one of the bullies enjoy what Ryan Tubridy said to
bullies enjoy what Ryan Tubridy said to
bullies enjoy what Ryan Tubridy said to me when I told him that live on out he
me when I told him that live on out he
me when I told him that live on out he said that doesn’t sound like a
said that doesn’t sound like a
said that doesn’t sound like a conversation two men would have now the
conversation two men would have now the
conversation two men would have now the truth is
truth is
truth is that kind of stereotypical thinking and
that kind of stereotypical thinking and
that kind of stereotypical thinking and statement is absolutely totally
statement is absolutely totally
statement is absolutely totally unhelpful and there’s a whole load of
unhelpful and there’s a whole load of
unhelpful and there’s a whole load of reasons that’s unhealthy but the main
reasons that’s unhealthy but the main
reasons that’s unhealthy but the main one is this truth that’s natural and
one is this truth that’s natural and
one is this truth that’s natural and here’s why
here’s why
here’s why in 2009 I wrote a speech for a
in 2009 I wrote a speech for a
in 2009 I wrote a speech for a Toastmasters group about my journey
Toastmasters group about my journey
Toastmasters group about my journey through depression I was diagnosed in
through depression I was diagnosed in
through depression I was diagnosed in 2006 that speech ended up being filmed
2006 that speech ended up being filmed
2006 that speech ended up being filmed and is available online in 2014 I was
and is available online in 2014 I was
and is available online in 2014 I was involved in the television show variety
involved in the television show variety
involved in the television show variety called how to be happy which is based on
called how to be happy which is based on
called how to be happy which is based on a book by Moore in Gaffney called
a book by Moore in Gaffney called
a book by Moore in Gaffney called flourishing which is a book and a TV
flourishing which is a book and a TV
flourishing which is a book and a TV show about practices that can help us to
show about practices that can help us to
show about practices that can help us to be happy to improve our positive
be happy to improve our positive
be happy to improve our positive thinking and help us with our mental and
thinking and help us with our mental and
thinking and help us with our mental and to health challenges if you want and
to health challenges if you want and
to health challenges if you want and number of us that were on that show
number of us that were on that show
number of us that were on that show opened up of what our own mental health
opened up of what our own mental health
opened up of what our own mental health challenges I have no last columns of the
challenges I have no last columns of the
challenges I have no last columns of the number of men who haven’t seen that
number of men who haven’t seen that
number of men who haven’t seen that speech are seeing that television show
speech are seeing that television show
speech are seeing that television show have either approached me personally
have either approached me personally
have either approached me personally directly or contact me online to say I
directly or contact me online to say I
directly or contact me online to say I know exactly what you’re interested I
know exactly what you’re interested I
know exactly what you’re interested I too have been depressed I know what
too have been depressed I know what
too have been depressed I know what ideas Asgard’s and does to people I know
ideas Asgard’s and does to people I know
ideas Asgard’s and does to people I know what gambling addiction those to people
what gambling addiction those to people
what gambling addiction those to people I know what it’s like to be suicidal
I know what it’s like to be suicidal
I know what it’s like to be suicidal and in one case a guy contacted me to
and in one case a guy contacted me to
and in one case a guy contacted me to tell me in graphic detail how he didn’t
tell me in graphic detail how he didn’t
tell me in graphic detail how he didn’t take his own life on the night he had
take his own life on the night he had
take his own life on the night he had planned to take his own life
planned to take his own life
planned to take his own life because it’s three-year-old daughter
because it’s three-year-old daughter
because it’s three-year-old daughter came into his bedroom at 3 o’clock in
came into his bedroom at 3 o’clock in
came into his bedroom at 3 o’clock in the morning somehow knowing something’s
the morning somehow knowing something’s
the morning somehow knowing something’s wrong and said to him it’ll all be ok
wrong and said to him it’ll all be ok
wrong and said to him it’ll all be ok dad so the truth is men do talk about
dad so the truth is men do talk about
dad so the truth is men do talk about the feeling men do want to talk about
the feeling men do want to talk about
the feeling men do want to talk about the feelings but maybe they only want to
the feelings but maybe they only want to
the feelings but maybe they only want to do it in their own way and this is
do it in their own way and this is
do it in their own way and this is nothing new you take a look at the other
nothing new you take a look at the other
nothing new you take a look at the other huge musicland so as always going to be
huge musicland so as always going to be
huge musicland so as always going to be a music reference um where you take a
a music reference um where you take a
a music reference um where you take a look at the lyrics of John Lennon Bruce
look at the lyrics of John Lennon Bruce
look at the lyrics of John Lennon Bruce Springsteen M&N and a whole lot more
Springsteen M&N and a whole lot more
Springsteen M&N and a whole lot more Michael Stipe from REM and the list is
Michael Stipe from REM and the list is
Michael Stipe from REM and the list is endless and their emotional response to
endless and their emotional response to
endless and their emotional response to situations is
situations is
situations is a told in detail in the lyrics and in
a told in detail in the lyrics and in
a told in detail in the lyrics and in the songs and then if we want to talk
the songs and then if we want to talk
the songs and then if we want to talk about people like crazy or maybe divides
about people like crazy or maybe divides
about people like crazy or maybe divides opinion arty is DJ John Mori who only a
opinion arty is DJ John Mori who only a
opinion arty is DJ John Mori who only a couple years ago came back from six
couple years ago came back from six
couple years ago came back from six months a time off world from depression
months a time off world from depression
months a time off world from depression to have a very very open and frank and
to have a very very open and frank and
to have a very very open and frank and long discussion about his situation
long discussion about his situation
long discussion about his situation Alan Quinlan legend of a rugby player
Alan Quinlan legend of a rugby player
Alan Quinlan legend of a rugby player Andre Agassi legend to the tennis world
Andre Agassi legend to the tennis world
Andre Agassi legend to the tennis world horror McGraw legend of a football
horror McGraw legend of a football
horror McGraw legend of a football player and again a whole load more each
player and again a whole load more each
player and again a whole load more each and every one of them have laid out in
and every one of them have laid out in
and every one of them have laid out in great detail their emotional mental
great detail their emotional mental
great detail their emotional mental health challenges in either interviews
health challenges in either interviews
health challenges in either interviews or in the biographies so it’s not signal
or in the biographies so it’s not signal
or in the biographies so it’s not signal now I will refer to my notes I want to
now I will refer to my notes I want to
now I will refer to my notes I want to apologize so why then does writing
apologize so why then does writing
apologize so why then does writing topper these view that it’s not that’s
topper these view that it’s not that’s
topper these view that it’s not that’s not the type of conversation men will
not the type of conversation men will
not the type of conversation men will have why is that kind of the predominant
have why is that kind of the predominant
have why is that kind of the predominant thinking maybe just maybe you know as
thinking maybe just maybe you know as
thinking maybe just maybe you know as Winston Churchill once observed it’s
Winston Churchill once observed it’s
Winston Churchill once observed it’s because a lie we get halfway around the
because a lie we get halfway around the
because a lie we get halfway around the world before the truth is a chance to
world before the truth is a chance to
world before the truth is a chance to get his pants on or maybe just maybe
get his pants on or maybe just maybe
get his pants on or maybe just maybe it’s because if we hear something often
it’s because if we hear something often
it’s because if we hear something often enough men don’t talk about the things
enough men don’t talk about the things
enough men don’t talk about the things men don’t talk about the feeling men
men don’t talk about the feeling men
men don’t talk about the feeling men don’t talk about the feelings that
don’t talk about the feelings that
don’t talk about the feelings that somehow becomes a different type of
somehow becomes a different type of
somehow becomes a different type of truth it’s using American phrase and
truth it’s using American phrase and
truth it’s using American phrase and alternative fact
alternative fact
alternative fact but the truth is the truth and the truth
but the truth is the truth and the truth
but the truth is the truth and the truth is mangu talked about the fields and the
is mangu talked about the fields and the
is mangu talked about the fields and the truth is the saying goes can set you
truth is the saying goes can set you
truth is the saying goes can set you free so I’m going to try to ask each of
free so I’m going to try to ask each of
free so I’m going to try to ask each of you know tonight that the next time
you know tonight that the next time
you know tonight that the next time somebody says to you men don’t talk
somebody says to you men don’t talk
somebody says to you men don’t talk about the fields would you consider
about the fields would you consider
about the fields would you consider saying well actually the truth is they
saying well actually the truth is they
saying well actually the truth is they do because that tiny little action could
do because that tiny little action could
do because that tiny little action could be enough for somebody somewhere to open
be enough for somebody somewhere to open
be enough for somebody somewhere to open up about their mental health challenges
up about their mental health challenges
up about their mental health challenges and it could be enough for somebody
and it could be enough for somebody
and it could be enough for somebody somewhere not to take their life and God
somewhere not to take their life and God
somewhere not to take their life and God knows where lose enough people and
knows where lose enough people and
knows where lose enough people and particularly men to suicide if we can
particularly men to suicide if we can
particularly men to suicide if we can just stop wanting it but that’s a good
just stop wanting it but that’s a good
just stop wanting it but that’s a good thing because all that everything I’ve
thing because all that everything I’ve
thing because all that everything I’ve said is founded on my II believe that if
said is founded on my II believe that if
said is founded on my II believe that if we’re going to change or we’re going to
we’re going to change or we’re going to
we’re going to change or we’re going to change anything has to start with us and
change anything has to start with us and
change anything has to start with us and it has to start with our personal
it has to start with our personal
it has to start with our personal beliefs and our personal actions so if
beliefs and our personal actions so if
beliefs and our personal actions so if I’m going to ask you to be a little bit
I’m going to ask you to be a little bit
I’m going to ask you to be a little bit more honest in the future at least
more honest in the future at least
more honest in the future at least consider that possibility I think it’s
consider that possibility I think it’s
consider that possibility I think it’s probably probably that I end with
probably probably that I end with
probably probably that I end with something that is a personal truth of
something that is a personal truth of
something that is a personal truth of mine so I’m going to leave you with a
mine so I’m going to leave you with a
mine so I’m going to leave you with a poem that I’ve written because it’ll
poem that I’ve written because it’ll
poem that I’ve written because it’ll save me standing up another 25 minutes
save me standing up another 25 minutes
save me standing up another 25 minutes and then for all other things in this
and then for all other things in this
and then for all other things in this really a short space of time and just
really a short space of time and just
really a short space of time and just before I read that I’d like to thank
before I read that I’d like to thank
before I read that I’d like to thank Ellie again for the invite the trophies
Ellie again for the invite the trophies
Ellie again for the invite the trophies it’s been a pleasure
it’s been a pleasure
it’s been a pleasure so the poem is called policy of truth
so the poem is called policy of truth
so the poem is called policy of truth and it’s written am using Depeche Mode
and it’s written am using Depeche Mode
and it’s written am using Depeche Mode song title and I would dearly love to
song title and I would dearly love to
song title and I would dearly love to live in a world where I was talking to
live in a world where I was talking to
live in a world where I was talking to an audience where what I’m about to say
an audience where what I’m about to say
an audience where what I’m about to say doesn’t apply to one and four people but
doesn’t apply to one and four people but
doesn’t apply to one and four people but it does and but the good news the second
it does and but the good news the second
it does and but the good news the second part of this poem also applies to one of
part of this poem also applies to one of
part of this poem also applies to one of four people and every person
four people and every person
four people and every person the truth is tonight a dark trance spend
the truth is tonight a dark trance spend
the truth is tonight a dark trance spend the night the truth is this happens all
the night the truth is this happens all
the night the truth is this happens all the time
the time
the time two broken damaged people the truth is I
two broken damaged people the truth is I
two broken damaged people the truth is I am broke damaged fractured the truth is
am broke damaged fractured the truth is
am broke damaged fractured the truth is it’s no good in broken damaged fraction
it’s no good in broken damaged fraction
it’s no good in broken damaged fraction the truth is fractured two damaged
the truth is fractured two damaged
the truth is fractured two damaged people feel free love is strange love
people feel free love is strange love
people feel free love is strange love the truth is broke and damaged people
the truth is broke and damaged people
the truth is broke and damaged people are always fools too fragile tension the
are always fools too fragile tension the
are always fools too fragile tension the truth is fractured damaged people rush
truth is fractured damaged people rush
truth is fractured damaged people rush to pain the truth is broken damaged
to pain the truth is broken damaged
to pain the truth is broken damaged people excuse me surrender to addiction
people excuse me surrender to addiction
people excuse me surrender to addiction fall into the abyss the truth is for
fall into the abyss the truth is for
fall into the abyss the truth is for broken down which people choosing the
broken down which people choosing the
broken down which people choosing the dark road is the price of love the truth
dark road is the price of love the truth
dark road is the price of love the truth is choosing the dark road is a pain that
is choosing the dark road is a pain that
is choosing the dark road is a pain that I’m used to and suffer when the truth is
I’m used to and suffer when the truth is
I’m used to and suffer when the truth is fractured damaged people always rebirth
fractured damaged people always rebirth
fractured damaged people always rebirth stories of old the truth is in a world
stories of old the truth is in a world
stories of old the truth is in a world full of nothing scared sacred shame
full of nothing scared sacred shame
full of nothing scared sacred shame soothes my soul the truth is the diction
soothes my soul the truth is the diction
soothes my soul the truth is the diction tells you about the truth is sometimes
tells you about the truth is sometimes
tells you about the truth is sometimes in the dead of night I wish I were dead
in the dead of night I wish I were dead
in the dead of night I wish I were dead the truth is I promise you I will hold
the truth is I promise you I will hold
the truth is I promise you I will hold on the truth is the child inside is
on the truth is the child inside is
on the truth is the child inside is miles away gone lust the truth is all I
miles away gone lust the truth is all I
miles away gone lust the truth is all I ever wanted was to shake the disease the
ever wanted was to shake the disease the
ever wanted was to shake the disease the truth is I just can’t get enough of
truth is I just can’t get enough of
truth is I just can’t get enough of Elias excess and compulsion
Elias excess and compulsion
Elias excess and compulsion the truth is I’m useless gone too far
the truth is I’m useless gone too far
the truth is I’m useless gone too far a horror story the truth is pain
a horror story the truth is pain
a horror story the truth is pain stripped my joy the truth is pain
stripped my joy the truth is pain
stripped my joy the truth is pain shouldn’t have done that
shouldn’t have done that
shouldn’t have done that the truth is one thing one caress and
the truth is one thing one caress and
the truth is one thing one caress and light my son the truth is the future
light my son the truth is the future
light my son the truth is the future starts here the truth is when turning
starts here the truth is when turning
starts here the truth is when turning away from condemnation I feel love the
away from condemnation I feel love the
away from condemnation I feel love the truth is I promise you I will just try
truth is I promise you I will just try
truth is I promise you I will just try the truth is the great outdoors soothes
the truth is the great outdoors soothes
the truth is the great outdoors soothes my soul the truth is better days we
my soul the truth is better days we
my soul the truth is better days we motivate me the truth is nothing is
motivate me the truth is nothing is
motivate me the truth is nothing is impossible the truth is I am in control
impossible the truth is I am in control
impossible the truth is I am in control the choices
the choices
the choices I like that in sight the choices I am
I like that in sight the choices I am
I like that in sight the choices I am human and the truth is I am
”
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