yeah hello everybody my name is Mike and thanks to Irish for the wonderful
thanks to Irish for the wonderful
thanks to Irish for the wonderful introduction
introduction
introduction as I stated I’m one of the team here so
as I stated I’m one of the team here so
as I stated I’m one of the team here so I’m more than used to being on the other
I’m more than used to being on the other
I’m more than used to being on the other side of the curtain so permit me a
side of the curtain so permit me a
side of the curtain so permit me a little bit use notes rather than
little bit use notes rather than
little bit use notes rather than speaking of a perfectly manicured speech
speaking of a perfectly manicured speech
speaking of a perfectly manicured speech if I can remember crystal clearly the
if I can remember crystal clearly the
if I can remember crystal clearly the first time I was called a in
first time I was called a in
first time I was called a in school it was a sense of confusion more
school it was a sense of confusion more
school it was a sense of confusion more so than anything else I didn’t know what
so than anything else I didn’t know what
so than anything else I didn’t know what the word meant I was 8 years of age the
the word meant I was 8 years of age the
the word meant I was 8 years of age the only thing that struck me was the venom
only thing that struck me was the venom
only thing that struck me was the venom with which this older kid in school just
with which this older kid in school just
with which this older kid in school just love this word at me for absolutely no
love this word at me for absolutely no
love this word at me for absolutely no reason and I remember the confusion
reason and I remember the confusion
reason and I remember the confusion escalating even more when I asked my mom
escalating even more when I asked my mom
escalating even more when I asked my mom would admit because when she explained
would admit because when she explained
would admit because when she explained it to me and it turned out to be
it to me and it turned out to be
it to me and it turned out to be absolutely nothing that should be an
absolutely nothing that should be an
absolutely nothing that should be an issue whatsoever my only question is why
issue whatsoever my only question is why
issue whatsoever my only question is why were people following this insult Alison
were people following this insult Alison
were people following this insult Alison why was this word being bandied around
why was this word being bandied around
why was this word being bandied around in school like it was an absolutely
in school like it was an absolutely
in school like it was an absolutely terrible swear and the more and more
terrible swear and the more and more
terrible swear and the more and more they kept battling around as we grew
they kept battling around as we grew
they kept battling around as we grew from 8 year olds into teenagers and the
from 8 year olds into teenagers and the
from 8 year olds into teenagers and the more that people just got you know used
more that people just got you know used
more that people just got you know used of saying so swearing and you know not
of saying so swearing and you know not
of saying so swearing and you know not being told by an adult what to do or
being told by an adult what to do or
being told by an adult what to do or what to say without any thought or
what to say without any thought or
what to say without any thought or recourse as to how hurtful your words
recourse as to how hurtful your words
recourse as to how hurtful your words were we weren’t taught that authoring
were we weren’t taught that authoring
were we weren’t taught that authoring was a thing we weren’t taught that these
was a thing we weren’t taught that these
was a thing we weren’t taught that these that these words that were being thrown
that these words that were being thrown
that these words that were being thrown around this kind of jokey symbols of
around this kind of jokey symbols of
around this kind of jokey symbols of masculinity were being told that we
masculinity were being told that we
masculinity were being told that we weren’t told that they that they were
weren’t told that they that they were
weren’t told that they that they were someone else’s lived experience were
someone else’s lived experience were
someone else’s lived experience were told that they were somebody else’s
told that they were somebody else’s
told that they were somebody else’s feelings and I think in retrospect it
feelings and I think in retrospect it
feelings and I think in retrospect it kind of all turns back to hot were
kind of all turns back to hot were
kind of all turns back to hot were taught about masculinity and what a man
taught about masculinity and what a man
taught about masculinity and what a man should be going ahead forward I think
should be going ahead forward I think
should be going ahead forward I think early outset of the planning of this
early outset of the planning of this
early outset of the planning of this night we have a little joke the idea of
night we have a little joke the idea of
night we have a little joke the idea of or I haven’t enjoyed the idea of okay
or I haven’t enjoyed the idea of okay
or I haven’t enjoyed the idea of okay what if we had like a little night
what if we had like a little night
what if we had like a little night upstairs and like the spalpeen or some
upstairs and like the spalpeen or some
upstairs and like the spalpeen or some other place like that woods going to sat
other place like that woods going to sat
other place like that woods going to sat around talked about our feelings and
around talked about our feelings and
around talked about our feelings and what Saturday morning cartoons
what Saturday morning cartoons
what Saturday morning cartoons afterwards and obviously that that was
afterwards and obviously that that was
afterwards and obviously that that was permissive to the
permissive to the
permissive to the tedx format as possible but what started
tedx format as possible but what started
tedx format as possible but what started as a joke and as an excuse to over the
as a joke and as an excuse to over the
as a joke and as an excuse to over the words cogmed and isto on Facebook to see
words cogmed and isto on Facebook to see
words cogmed and isto on Facebook to see who would react became a proper thing
who would react became a proper thing
who would react became a proper thing violation lot of people jumped out in
violation lot of people jumped out in
violation lot of people jumped out in the comments section it became an idea
the comments section it became an idea
the comments section it became an idea that people literally hopped on oh yeah
that people literally hopped on oh yeah
that people literally hopped on oh yeah that’s nice that’s something that we can
that’s nice that’s something that we can
that’s nice that’s something that we can put on file away for something we can do
put on file away for something we can do
put on file away for something we can do in the future but a funny thing happened
in the future but a funny thing happened
in the future but a funny thing happened as that discussion was going on and you
as that discussion was going on and you
as that discussion was going on and you know we need people started talking
know we need people started talking
know we need people started talking about a need for a male mental health
about a need for a male mental health
about a need for a male mental health space and for a discussion on what
space and for a discussion on what
space and for a discussion on what masculinity in particular is today and
masculinity in particular is today and
masculinity in particular is today and tackling the concept the legacy of
tackling the concept the legacy of
tackling the concept the legacy of support of the austerity and of the
support of the austerity and of the
support of the austerity and of the recession really really hit home in
recession really really hit home in
recession really really hit home in terms of mental health services
terms of mental health services
terms of mental health services available to men and discussion of the
available to men and discussion of the
available to men and discussion of the men share came up in discussion of other
men share came up in discussion of other
men share came up in discussion of other mental health aspects and ideas that are
mental health aspects and ideas that are
mental health aspects and ideas that are available to two men now that weren’t
available to two men now that weren’t
available to two men now that weren’t available a generation ago cuz talking
available a generation ago cuz talking
available a generation ago cuz talking about what we were taught as kids what
about what we were taught as kids what
about what we were taught as kids what we were taught and the classic Irish man
we were taught and the classic Irish man
we were taught and the classic Irish man I’m sure everybody when they all that in
I’m sure everybody when they all that in
I’m sure everybody when they all that in mind what our grandfathers were like
mind what our grandfathers were like
mind what our grandfathers were like because of the strong silent types you
because of the strong silent types you
because of the strong silent types you know of devil eras isolationist agrarian
know of devil eras isolationist agrarian
know of devil eras isolationist agrarian policy the last went of the devil eras
policy the last went of the devil eras
policy the last went of the devil eras ideal you went up near toilet 12 hours a
ideal you went up near toilet 12 hours a
ideal you went up near toilet 12 hours a day in the fields you said not to feel
day in the fields you said not to feel
day in the fields you said not to feel your feelings and what-have-yous kind of
your feelings and what-have-yous kind of
your feelings and what-have-yous kind of felt good things as they came along and
felt good things as they came along and
felt good things as they came along and this is obviously played on our this
this is obviously played on our this
this is obviously played on our this this amplifying social issues are
this amplifying social issues are
this amplifying social issues are already existed in the irish constance
already existed in the irish constance
already existed in the irish constance post famine post occupation that sort of
post famine post occupation that sort of
post famine post occupation that sort of that sort of thing and as time wore on
that sort of thing and as time wore on
that sort of thing and as time wore on and as ireland become became or the
and as ireland become became or the
and as ireland become became or the current ireland that were currently kind
current ireland that were currently kind
current ireland that were currently kind of escaping with current social
of escaping with current social
of escaping with current social liberalism has as that war on became
liberalism has as that war on became
liberalism has as that war on became more founded or its foundations were
more founded or its foundations were
more founded or its foundations were built really the problems for male
built really the problems for male
built really the problems for male mental health became you know they
mental health became you know they
mental health became you know they became crystals we think of our
became crystals we think of our
became crystals we think of our grandparents we think of our parents and
grandparents we think of our parents and
grandparents we think of our parents and we think about them being quiet and we
we think about them being quiet and we
we think about them being quiet and we think about them kind of just being
think about them kind of just being
think about them kind of just being steely in in terms of their result but
steely in in terms of their result but
steely in in terms of their result but we also think then about my Ireland
we also think then about my Ireland
we also think then about my Ireland became more globalized and about how
became more globalized and about how
became more globalized and about how international media became a thing and
international media became a thing and
international media became a thing and by the time my childhood rolled around
by the time my childhood rolled around
by the time my childhood rolled around in the late 1980s
in the late 1980s
in the late 1980s you know Ireland has had its George best
you know Ireland has had its George best
you know Ireland has had its George best which was pretty much like their
which was pretty much like their
which was pretty much like their equivalent of Beatlemania you know we
equivalent of Beatlemania you know we
equivalent of Beatlemania you know we were beginning to see the chinks in the
were beginning to see the chinks in the
were beginning to see the chinks in the armor a little bit in the church’s piety
armor a little bit in the church’s piety
armor a little bit in the church’s piety with the ongoing struggle with
with the ongoing struggle with
with the ongoing struggle with contraception and so on and so forth so
contraception and so on and so forth so
contraception and so on and so forth so by the time our childhood camera
by the time our childhood camera
by the time our childhood camera satellite telly had come in and not only
satellite telly had come in and not only
satellite telly had come in and not only had we kind of inherited the idea of the
had we kind of inherited the idea of the
had we kind of inherited the idea of the strong silent type as an archetypal
strong silent type as an archetypal
strong silent type as an archetypal Irishman we’re also dealing with brash
Irishman we’re also dealing with brash
Irishman we’re also dealing with brash and loud masculinity archetypes from all
and loud masculinity archetypes from all
and loud masculinity archetypes from all over the world and you know my childhood
over the world and you know my childhood
over the world and you know my childhood personally was spent every Saturday
personally was spent every Saturday
personally was spent every Saturday morning in to the neighbor’s house to
morning in to the neighbor’s house to
morning in to the neighbor’s house to watch pro wrestling with all due respect
watch pro wrestling with all due respect
watch pro wrestling with all due respect one of her speakers tonight
one of her speakers tonight
one of her speakers tonight Blake Norton and it was always in to
Blake Norton and it was always in to
Blake Norton and it was always in to watch these larger-than-life bulk top
watch these larger-than-life bulk top
watch these larger-than-life bulk top steroid it up mastodons like Hulk Hogan
steroid it up mastodons like Hulk Hogan
steroid it up mastodons like Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior and Stone Cold
and the Ultimate Warrior and Stone Cold
and the Ultimate Warrior and Stone Cold Steve Austin and all of this so a
Steve Austin and all of this so a
Steve Austin and all of this so a restrictive form of masculinity was
restrictive form of masculinity was
restrictive form of masculinity was countered by this hyper real alternate
countered by this hyper real alternate
countered by this hyper real alternate masculinity that we were given that
masculinity that we were given that
masculinity that we were given that didn’t really that just as much as like
didn’t really that just as much as like
didn’t really that just as much as like the strong silent type wasn’t
the strong silent type wasn’t
the strong silent type wasn’t emotionally realistic neither two was
emotionally realistic neither two was
emotionally realistic neither two was the Ultimate Warrior turning up and
the Ultimate Warrior turning up and
the Ultimate Warrior turning up and talking gibberish about the power of the
talking gibberish about the power of the
talking gibberish about the power of the Warriors and the elephants ramping up
Warriors and the elephants ramping up
Warriors and the elephants ramping up his back and so on and so forth so as
his back and so on and so forth so as
his back and so on and so forth so as that time went on and you know our
that time went on and you know our
that time went on and you know our generation went from kids to teenagers
generation went from kids to teenagers
generation went from kids to teenagers and you’ll de première Lee became a big
and you’ll de première Lee became a big
and you’ll de première Lee became a big thing all of a sudden as a child it
thing all of a sudden as a child it
thing all of a sudden as a child it became a thing to trend your pattern
became a thing to trend your pattern
became a thing to trend your pattern yourself after soccer stars and all of
yourself after soccer stars and all of
yourself after soccer stars and all of this you know kids will drag bits and
this you know kids will drag bits and
this you know kids will drag bits and pieces of their identity from everywhere
pieces of their identity from everywhere
pieces of their identity from everywhere because it’s packed learning curve and
because it’s packed learning curve and
because it’s packed learning curve and as generations of Irish men wore on what
as generations of Irish men wore on what
as generations of Irish men wore on what your masculinity and the male identity
your masculinity and the male identity
your masculinity and the male identity became ever sort of more warped really
became ever sort of more warped really
became ever sort of more warped really but as we became grownups and the great
but as we became grownups and the great
but as we became grownups and the great you know the great worldwide recession
you know the great worldwide recession
you know the great worldwide recession turned into a domestic depression we
turned into a domestic depression we
turned into a domestic depression we found that the strong silent type that
found that the strong silent type that
found that the strong silent type that devil era had pushed for so much in his
devil era had pushed for so much in his
devil era had pushed for so much in his ideal Ireland had been supplanted
ideal Ireland had been supplanted
ideal Ireland had been supplanted I mean like his people had brought along
I mean like his people had brought along
I mean like his people had brought along her had at least helped along a
her had at least helped along a
her had at least helped along a recession that you know it in
recession that you know it in
recession that you know it in combination with cultural changes really
combination with cultural changes really
combination with cultural changes really made his
made his
made his vision of Irish masculinity obsolete and
vision of Irish masculinity obsolete and
vision of Irish masculinity obsolete and where we find ourselves now in terms of
where we find ourselves now in terms of
where we find ourselves now in terms of male mental health is picking up those
male mental health is picking up those
male mental health is picking up those pieces and re-evaluating traditional
pieces and re-evaluating traditional
pieces and re-evaluating traditional masculinity and the filters to which we
masculinity and the filters to which we
masculinity and the filters to which we we look through and as the evening wears
we look through and as the evening wears
we look through and as the evening wears on a lot of our speakers will be talking
on a lot of our speakers will be talking
on a lot of our speakers will be talking about their personal struggles with
about their personal struggles with
about their personal struggles with traditional masculinity and these
traditional masculinity and these
traditional masculinity and these monoliths of expectations of masculinity
monoliths of expectations of masculinity
monoliths of expectations of masculinity with which they were faced and compared
with which they were faced and compared
with which they were faced and compared themselves against but it’s only in
themselves against but it’s only in
themselves against but it’s only in recent times that we’ve seen the effects
recent times that we’ve seen the effects
recent times that we’ve seen the effects of it that in three generations of young
of it that in three generations of young
of it that in three generations of young Irishman we are now seeing the point
Irishman we are now seeing the point
Irishman we are now seeing the point where it is completely unsustainable
where it is completely unsustainable
where it is completely unsustainable than the old days in the old ways and
than the old days in the old ways and
than the old days in the old ways and the old stoic strong Irishman that never
the old stoic strong Irishman that never
the old stoic strong Irishman that never betrays his feelings or represses
betrays his feelings or represses
betrays his feelings or represses everything and then it means it
everything and then it means it
everything and then it means it unfortunately has always manifested
unfortunately has always manifested
unfortunately has always manifested itself in other ways let’s talk about
itself in other ways let’s talk about
itself in other ways let’s talk about institutional drinking but also again
institutional drinking but also again
institutional drinking but also again where a provider or we’re supposed to be
where a provider or we’re supposed to be
where a provider or we’re supposed to be providers with restricted if not
providers with restricted if not
providers with restricted if not non-existent means of provision you know
non-existent means of provision you know
non-existent means of provision you know the lack of jobs unpaid internships you
the lack of jobs unpaid internships you
the lack of jobs unpaid internships you know massive steer or the deaths of
know massive steer or the deaths of
know massive steer or the deaths of certain major industries all of these
certain major industries all of these
certain major industries all of these things have snowballed and I’m going to
things have snowballed and I’m going to
things have snowballed and I’m going to break over I’m going to break off a
break over I’m going to break off a
break over I’m going to break off a disaffected millennial stereotypes here
disaffected millennial stereotypes here
disaffected millennial stereotypes here and say that it’s only been in recent
and say that it’s only been in recent
and say that it’s only been in recent times that people like blind boy
times that people like blind boy
times that people like blind boy ballclub who uses comedy so expertly as
ballclub who uses comedy so expertly as
ballclub who uses comedy so expertly as a means of saying whatever he wants you
a means of saying whatever he wants you
a means of saying whatever he wants you can cut straight down to the bone of an
can cut straight down to the bone of an
can cut straight down to the bone of an argument talking about male feminism and
argument talking about male feminism and
argument talking about male feminism and you know obviously I don’t want to take
you know obviously I don’t want to take
you know obviously I don’t want to take this into male feminist territory but
this into male feminist territory but
this into male feminist territory but essentially what we’re doing is with
essentially what we’re doing is with
essentially what we’re doing is with masculinity and particularly with the
masculinity and particularly with the
masculinity and particularly with the night tonight I’d like for us to kind of
night tonight I’d like for us to kind of
night tonight I’d like for us to kind of look at traditional masculinity and the
look at traditional masculinity and the
look at traditional masculinity and the archetypes with which we are handed and
archetypes with which we are handed and
archetypes with which we are handed and really kind of reevaluate them you know
really kind of reevaluate them you know
really kind of reevaluate them you know really kind of examine what we’re going
really kind of examine what we’re going
really kind of examine what we’re going to do to tackle them and most
to do to tackle them and most
to do to tackle them and most importantly how we’re going to carry
importantly how we’re going to carry
importantly how we’re going to carry that tackling of the issue forward
that tackling of the issue forward
that tackling of the issue forward because it starts with our young men
because it starts with our young men
because it starts with our young men coming up and it starts with kind of
coming up and it starts with kind of
coming up and it starts with kind of instilling in them and empathy that
instilling in them and empathy that
instilling in them and empathy that maybe wasn’t there or maybe was less to
maybe wasn’t there or maybe was less to
maybe wasn’t there or maybe was less to the forward you know we teach children
the forward you know we teach children
the forward you know we teach children that you know calling someone a
that you know calling someone a
that you know calling someone a or using racial epithets or so are being
or using racial epithets or so are being
or using racial epithets or so are being edgy on the Internet
edgy on the Internet
edgy on the Internet it’s denigrating people’s lived
it’s denigrating people’s lived
it’s denigrating people’s lived experience probably not where they kind
experience probably not where they kind
experience probably not where they kind of refer to my notes yeah that we kind
of refer to my notes yeah that we kind
of refer to my notes yeah that we kind of rebound reevaluate our traditional
of rebound reevaluate our traditional
of rebound reevaluate our traditional masculinity inside but we kind of
masculinity inside but we kind of
masculinity inside but we kind of examine our own relationship as men with
examine our own relationship as men with
examine our own relationship as men with masculinity and kind of see what we can
masculinity and kind of see what we can
masculinity and kind of see what we can do with our own selves look at it
do with our own selves look at it
do with our own selves look at it compared to our own circumstances and
compared to our own circumstances and
compared to our own circumstances and realistically what we can achieve which
realistically what we can achieve which
realistically what we can achieve which is important but also we can start the
is important but also we can start the
is important but also we can start the conversation and this is what TEDx cork
conversation and this is what TEDx cork
conversation and this is what TEDx cork salon is all about my vision Joe and
salon is all about my vision Joe and
salon is all about my vision Joe and Tina have have have enabled in there a
Tina have have have enabled in there a
Tina have have have enabled in there a year running this event is that we can
year running this event is that we can
year running this event is that we can reach out to others and we can see
reach out to others and we can see
reach out to others and we can see people that are suffering we can see
people that are suffering we can see
people that are suffering we can see people that are obviously struggling
people that are obviously struggling
people that are obviously struggling under I suppose to the weight of
under I suppose to the weight of
under I suppose to the weight of traditional masculinity or struggling on
traditional masculinity or struggling on
traditional masculinity or struggling on to the weight of expectation is the
to the weight of expectation is the
to the weight of expectation is the whole ships you carry themselves and
whole ships you carry themselves and
whole ships you carry themselves and this much is like not a call out culture
this much is like not a call out culture
this much is like not a call out culture where we look at ourselves and our
where we look at ourselves and our
where we look at ourselves and our mistakes and we call other dudes for
mistakes and we call other dudes for
mistakes and we call other dudes for that you can’t do this you can’t do that
that you can’t do this you can’t do that
that you can’t do this you can’t do that but rather engage in respectful debate
but rather engage in respectful debate
but rather engage in respectful debate and do what powerful people do of any
and do what powerful people do of any
and do what powerful people do of any gender and that’s held each other up as
gender and that’s held each other up as
gender and that’s held each other up as opposed to knock me to the done thank
opposed to knock me to the done thank
opposed to knock me to the done thank you very much
”
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