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The Nature of Men Now. Have we changed? | Charlie Stevens | TEDxCorkSalon


[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

really connect with each other

really connect with each other discover something together already

discover something together already

discover something together already we’ve heard these brilliant speakers and

we’ve heard these brilliant speakers and

we’ve heard these brilliant speakers and telling them stories how stories of

telling them stories how stories of

telling them stories how stories of transformation so I was with this

transformation so I was with this

transformation so I was with this question

question

question have we changed as men and I’m still

have we changed as men and I’m still

have we changed as men and I’m still with the question and I asked somebody

with the question and I asked somebody

with the question and I asked somebody on the way in have we changed he said no

on the way in have we changed he said no

on the way in have we changed he said no all right I think so

all right I think so

all right I think so when I got the question I started to

when I got the question I started to

when I got the question I started to think are things different and we are

think are things different and we are

think are things different and we are living in the best possible time for

living in the best possible time for

living in the best possible time for human beings right now it’s just never

human beings right now it’s just never

human beings right now it’s just never been as good as this for us ever just if

been as good as this for us ever just if

been as good as this for us ever just if I cast back and I’m a little older than

I cast back and I’m a little older than

I cast back and I’m a little older than the other guys when I was born in 1947

the other guys when I was born in 1947

the other guys when I was born in 1947 just before about 6 million people have

just before about 6 million people have

just before about 6 million people have been gassed and now we’re much more

been gassed and now we’re much more

been gassed and now we’re much more aware and awake and we ever were of the

aware and awake and we ever were of the

aware and awake and we ever were of the way that we can hurt each other and the

way that we can hurt each other and the

way that we can hurt each other and the reason for that is and it’s a gradual

reason for that is and it’s a gradual

reason for that is and it’s a gradual process is that when I really become

process is that when I really become

process is that when I really become present to myself when I really connect

present to myself when I really connect

present to myself when I really connect with myself first and then I look at you

with myself first and then I look at you

with myself first and then I look at you and if I can make a connection with you

and if I can make a connection with you

and if I can make a connection with you and see you I’m not going to hurt you

and see you I’m not going to hurt you

and see you I’m not going to hurt you because I’ve connected to myself and I

because I’ve connected to myself and I

because I’ve connected to myself and I daughter heard myself and I don’t want

daughter heard myself and I don’t want

daughter heard myself and I don’t want to hurt you either

to hurt you either

to hurt you either and so it’s this is the development of

and so it’s this is the development of

and so it’s this is the development of us as human beings and it’s happening

us as human beings and it’s happening

us as human beings and it’s happening and the we have the opportunities now

and the we have the opportunities now

and the we have the opportunities now that we didn’t have before to connect

that we didn’t have before to connect

that we didn’t have before to connect with each other and I know all the other

with each other and I know all the other

with each other and I know all the other arguments of disconnection and all that

arguments of disconnection and all that

arguments of disconnection and all that but there is this possibility now and

but there is this possibility now and

but there is this possibility now and that’s what I’m working with and that’s

that’s what I’m working with and that’s

that’s what I’m working with and that’s what I love to do and there’s things

what I love to do and there’s things

what I love to do and there’s things that can get in the way many things get

that can get in the way many things get

that can get in the way many things get in the way like for me right now

in the way like for me right now

in the way like for me right now these lights are getting in the way a

these lights are getting in the way a

these lights are getting in the way a little bit because I can’t see you I

little bit because I can’t see you I

little bit because I can’t see you I can’t make I can make eye contact with a

can’t make I can make eye contact with a

can’t make I can make eye contact with a few of you here but I can’t see what’s

few of you here but I can’t see what’s

few of you here but I can’t see what’s going on and I know that perhaps you can

going on and I know that perhaps you can

going on and I know that perhaps you can see me that week so we have when we can

see me that week so we have when we can

see me that week so we have when we can connect on so many channels and one of

connect on so many channels and one of

connect on so many channels and one of them is visually and it helps a lot so

we have this time in the world and

we have this time in the world and thinks about it ever

thinks about it ever

thinks about it ever for instance the crime rate overall is

for instance the crime rate overall is

for instance the crime rate overall is going down the murder rate is going down

going down the murder rate is going down

going down the murder rate is going down the number of casualties is less than

the number of casualties is less than

the number of casualties is less than it’s been ever I mean we go again I’m

it’s been ever I mean we go again I’m

it’s been ever I mean we go again I’m thinking of the second world war you

thinking of the second world war you

thinking of the second world war you know 25,000 people were bombed in

know 25,000 people were bombed in

know 25,000 people were bombed in Dresden in by British bombers in a

Dresden in by British bombers in a

Dresden in by British bombers in a couple of weeks 25,000 people died just

couple of weeks 25,000 people died just

couple of weeks 25,000 people died just like that I’m remembering I met a guy

like that I’m remembering I met a guy

like that I’m remembering I met a guy who told me that there was a soccer

who told me that there was a soccer

who told me that there was a soccer match in London to start just during the

match in London to start just during the

match in London to start just during the war and there was 50 people got crushed

war and there was 50 people got crushed

war and there was 50 people got crushed in the crowd and what happened was that

in the crowd and what happened was that

in the crowd and what happened was that they took the people away the bodies

they took the people away the bodies

they took the people away the bodies away and

away and

away and played the match can you imagine that

played the match can you imagine that

played the match can you imagine that happening now so no we see we becoming

happening now so no we see we becoming

happening now so no we see we becoming more sensitive you know one guy gets

more sensitive you know one guy gets

more sensitive you know one guy gets dragged off a plane and suddenly the all

dragged off a plane and suddenly the all

dragged off a plane and suddenly the all the shares in that company drop like

the shares in that company drop like

the shares in that company drop like crazy you can’t do that and we see it

crazy you can’t do that and we see it

crazy you can’t do that and we see it live before that might not even been

live before that might not even been

live before that might not even been reported it might might not even made

reported it might might not even made

reported it might might not even made any kind of paper at all

any kind of paper at all

any kind of paper at all one guy getting dragged off a plane so

one guy getting dragged off a plane so

one guy getting dragged off a plane so what but we’re more awake we’re more

what but we’re more awake we’re more

what but we’re more awake we’re more sensitive we’re developing this

sensitive we’re developing this

sensitive we’re developing this sensitivity and men are doing this to

sensitivity and men are doing this to

sensitivity and men are doing this to not just it’s not just women sensitivity

not just it’s not just women sensitivity

not just it’s not just women sensitivity but this is all of us and it means as

but this is all of us and it means as

but this is all of us and it means as well acknowledging our vulnerability

well acknowledging our vulnerability

well acknowledging our vulnerability I feel the vulnerability sitting here

I feel the vulnerability sitting here

I feel the vulnerability sitting here just to be in front of you it makes me

just to be in front of you it makes me

just to be in front of you it makes me feel vulnerable but a few years ago I

feel vulnerable but a few years ago I

feel vulnerable but a few years ago I would never have been able to say that I

would never have been able to say that I

would never have been able to say that I wouldn’t have been able to acknowledge

wouldn’t have been able to acknowledge

wouldn’t have been able to acknowledge it to you end up with our speakers

it to you end up with our speakers

it to you end up with our speakers tonight have been really amazing in

tonight have been really amazing in

tonight have been really amazing in telling their stories about how they

telling their stories about how they

telling their stories about how they became vulnerable and they went through

became vulnerable and they went through

became vulnerable and they went through these turning points the the missing

these turning points the the missing

these turning points the the missing fathers the lost fathers the the absent

fathers the lost fathers the the absent

fathers the lost fathers the the absent fathers and how can we retrieve

fathers and how can we retrieve

fathers and how can we retrieve ourselves from not having a father

ourselves from not having a father

ourselves from not having a father that’s kind or that’s present to us and

that’s kind or that’s present to us and

that’s kind or that’s present to us and these are the questions for us as men so

these are the questions for us as men so

these are the questions for us as men so many absent fathers and then we have

many absent fathers and then we have

many absent fathers and then we have fathers that are really present to their

fathers that are really present to their

fathers that are really present to their children now in a way that they couldn’t

children now in a way that they couldn’t

children now in a way that they couldn’t be before I can think of several that I

be before I can think of several that I

be before I can think of several that I know like that that are really with

know like that that are really with

know like that that are really with their children in a beautiful way and

their children in a beautiful way and

their children in a beautiful way and the mothers are working and they have a

the mothers are working and they have a

the mothers are working and they have a really good agreement with each other so

really good agreement with each other so

really good agreement with each other so I think we’re at a stage now in our

I think we’re at a stage now in our

I think we’re at a stage now in our development and of course all of us are

development and of course all of us are

development and of course all of us are the whole result of evolution

the whole result of evolution

the whole result of evolution here now with us we contain the whole

here now with us we contain the whole

here now with us we contain the whole history of the universe within us and we

history of the universe within us and we

history of the universe within us and we contain the whole history of mankind

contain the whole history of mankind

contain the whole history of mankind here you and I right now in Cork in the

here you and I right now in Cork in the

here you and I right now in Cork in the world are at the leading edge of

world are at the leading edge of

world are at the leading edge of evolution all of us we’re responsible

evolution all of us we’re responsible

evolution all of us we’re responsible for the evolution of ourselves and in

for the evolution of ourselves and in

for the evolution of ourselves and in some ways we can take responsibility for

some ways we can take responsibility for

some ways we can take responsibility for ourselves yoga and meditation which is

ourselves yoga and meditation which is

ourselves yoga and meditation which is something that I attempt I I remember

something that I attempt I I remember

something that I attempt I I remember Leonard Cohen in his last interview he

Leonard Cohen in his last interview he

Leonard Cohen in his last interview he was asked about his years studying Zen

was asked about his years studying Zen

was asked about his years studying Zen Buddhism studying Zen Buddhism for 40

Buddhism studying Zen Buddhism for 40

Buddhism studying Zen Buddhism for 40 years and they said what did you learn

years and they said what did you learn

years and they said what did you learn and he smiled and he said I finally

and he smiled and he said I finally

and he smiled and he said I finally learned to stop whining these that

learned to stop whining these that

learned to stop whining these that meditation can help it can actually

meditation can help it can actually

meditation can help it can actually change the shape of our brains and this

change the shape of our brains and this

change the shape of our brains and this is being explored with science now but

is being explored with science now but

is being explored with science now but it’s nothing new of course because we’ve

it’s nothing new of course because we’ve

it’s nothing new of course because we’ve known this for a long long time but

known this for a long long time but

known this for a long long time but there’s an explosion of these things in

there’s an explosion of these things in

there’s an explosion of these things in the West which is a wonderful thing so

the West which is a wonderful thing so

the West which is a wonderful thing so I’m full of hope I think the internet

I’m full of hope I think the internet

I’m full of hope I think the internet and artificial heart official

and artificial heart official

and artificial heart official intelligence it’s going to help us

intelligence it’s going to help us

intelligence it’s going to help us hugely I met somebody just been in a

hugely I met somebody just been in a

hugely I met somebody just been in a conference in Vienna about artificial

conference in Vienna about artificial

conference in Vienna about artificial intelligence and they told me that they

intelligence and they told me that they

intelligence and they told me that they were discussing how artificial

were discussing how artificial

were discussing how artificial intelligence is used in war all right we

intelligence is used in war all right we

intelligence is used in war all right we already have it with drones and things

already have it with drones and things

already have it with drones and things but remember drones could a few people

but remember drones could a few people

but remember drones could a few people whereas carpet bombing as in the Vietnam

whereas carpet bombing as in the Vietnam

whereas carpet bombing as in the Vietnam War killed thousands of people and so

War killed thousands of people and so

War killed thousands of people and so they were saying okay what about if

they were saying okay what about if

they were saying okay what about if computers around the war and they

computers around the war and they

computers around the war and they discovered that if they handed it over

discovered that if they handed it over

discovered that if they handed it over to computers they wouldn’t fight the war

to computers they wouldn’t fight the war

to computers they wouldn’t fight the war would stop because a computer would go

would stop because a computer would go

would stop because a computer would go that’s crazy

that’s crazy

that’s crazy while you’re going to knock down

while you’re going to knock down

while you’re going to knock down everything where you can kill everybody

everything where you can kill everybody

everything where you can kill everybody that’s pointless

that’s pointless

that’s pointless so if we hand it over maybe but of

so if we hand it over maybe but of

so if we hand it over maybe but of course the most important thing is can I

course the most important thing is can I

course the most important thing is can I find peace and myself thank you

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