[Applause] okay it’s a great pleasure to be here
okay it’s a great pleasure to be here
okay it’s a great pleasure to be here and just before I start I would just
and just before I start I would just
and just before I start I would just like you are just to consider these
like you are just to consider these
like you are just to consider these questions to take a quick moment one is
questions to take a quick moment one is
questions to take a quick moment one is your whole life has been wrong on a
your whole life has been wrong on a
your whole life has been wrong on a bleak cold and wet day in March 2005 a
bleak cold and wet day in March 2005 a
bleak cold and wet day in March 2005 a man wakes up in a cold sweat he stares
man wakes up in a cold sweat he stares
man wakes up in a cold sweat he stares at the ceiling his mind is racing with
at the ceiling his mind is racing with
at the ceiling his mind is racing with thoughts of anxiety and doubt his
thoughts of anxiety and doubt his
thoughts of anxiety and doubt his stomach is churning he thinks I can’t
stomach is churning he thinks I can’t
stomach is churning he thinks I can’t continue living the life that I’m living
continue living the life that I’m living
continue living the life that I’m living he’s overcome with crippling depression
he’s overcome with crippling depression
he’s overcome with crippling depression and annoying anxiety he can’t get out of
and annoying anxiety he can’t get out of
and annoying anxiety he can’t get out of that bed and face the reality that he’s
that bed and face the reality that he’s
that bed and face the reality that he’s created he asks why does my life feel so
created he asks why does my life feel so
created he asks why does my life feel so wrong well if anyone was looking at this
wrong well if anyone was looking at this
wrong well if anyone was looking at this situation they would think well this guy
situation they would think well this guy
situation they would think well this guy he’s got one serious hangover or he’s
he’s got one serious hangover or he’s
he’s got one serious hangover or he’s one step away from senior psychiatrist
one step away from senior psychiatrist
one step away from senior psychiatrist that guy was me but before all that
that guy was me but before all that
that guy was me but before all that happened I was living the life of a
happened I was living the life of a
happened I was living the life of a successful sales insurance guy hopping
successful sales insurance guy hopping
successful sales insurance guy hopping around from door to door calling in
around from door to door calling in
around from door to door calling in business people and unsuspecting
business people and unsuspecting
business people and unsuspecting homeowners selling personal accident
homeowners selling personal accident
homeowners selling personal accident insurance so to take you to a bit of my
insurance so to take you to a bit of my
insurance so to take you to a bit of my day I used to go around door-to-door and
day I used to go around door-to-door and
day I used to go around door-to-door and I call it these people and I remember I
I call it these people and I remember I
I call it these people and I remember I go into John and I say well look Johnny
go into John and I say well look Johnny
go into John and I say well look Johnny god forbid if you fell down that stairs
god forbid if you fell down that stairs
god forbid if you fell down that stairs and broke your leg or god forbid John
and broke your leg or god forbid John
and broke your leg or god forbid John you crash your car you another possible
you crash your car you another possible
you crash your car you another possible who would pay those bills well join the
who would pay those bills well join the
who would pay those bills well join the great news is that this fantastic
great news is that this fantastic
great news is that this fantastic insurance policy will
insurance policy will
insurance policy will hikaru for everything and it was like
hikaru for everything and it was like
hikaru for everything and it was like selling monkeys sorry selling bananas to
selling monkeys sorry selling bananas to
selling monkeys sorry selling bananas to monkeys but that was the outside of it
monkeys but that was the outside of it
monkeys but that was the outside of it but behind it all for me there was a tea
but behind it all for me there was a tea
but behind it all for me there was a tea turmoil and stress within me as in that
turmoil and stress within me as in that
turmoil and stress within me as in that I was very stressed and there was very
I was very stressed and there was very
I was very stressed and there was very long hours in regard to the work I was
long hours in regard to the work I was
long hours in regard to the work I was doing and also the sales targets were
doing and also the sales targets were
doing and also the sales targets were extremely unrealistic for me and as a
extremely unrealistic for me and as a
extremely unrealistic for me and as a result I was an average drinking about
result I was an average drinking about
result I was an average drinking about 40 to 50 cups of coffee a day I was
40 to 50 cups of coffee a day I was
40 to 50 cups of coffee a day I was smoking about 30 cigarettes a day and
smoking about 30 cigarettes a day and
smoking about 30 cigarettes a day and also the faster the food was the better
also the faster the food was the better
also the faster the food was the better so for me around this time I was really
so for me around this time I was really
so for me around this time I was really questioning what was going on for me and
questioning what was going on for me and
questioning what was going on for me and I remember I used to go around
I remember I used to go around
I remember I used to go around door-to-door and people would actually
door-to-door and people would actually
door-to-door and people would actually slam the door in your face so there was
slam the door in your face so there was
slam the door in your face so there was a big mount of rejection for me I don’t
a big mount of rejection for me I don’t
a big mount of rejection for me I don’t know one case there was a a German
know one case there was a a German
know one case there was a a German Shepherd chasing me down the road and it
Shepherd chasing me down the road and it
Shepherd chasing me down the road and it was definitely a sight for sore eyes so
was definitely a sight for sore eyes so
was definitely a sight for sore eyes so that many there you go into these daily
that many there you go into these daily
that many there you go into these daily motivation sales meetings and you have
motivation sales meetings and you have
motivation sales meetings and you have to be tend you’re happy and all of that
to be tend you’re happy and all of that
to be tend you’re happy and all of that but most days I was going pretty
but most days I was going pretty
but most days I was going pretty depressed and pretty negative and they
depressed and pretty negative and they
depressed and pretty negative and they had a very special technique to get you
had a very special technique to get you
had a very special technique to get you positive and motivated again and I just
positive and motivated again and I just
positive and motivated again and I just shared which it actually but is you
shared which it actually but is you
shared which it actually but is you stand up that these meetings and you go
stand up that these meetings and you go
stand up that these meetings and you go I feel healthy I feel happy I feel I
I feel healthy I feel happy I feel I
I feel healthy I feel happy I feel I feel healthy I feel happy I feel
feel healthy I feel happy I feel
feel healthy I feel happy I feel terrific well I didn’t feel very healthy
terrific well I didn’t feel very healthy
terrific well I didn’t feel very healthy I didn’t feel very happy and I certainly
I didn’t feel very happy and I certainly
I didn’t feel very happy and I certainly didn’t feel terrific well to say the
didn’t feel terrific well to say the
didn’t feel terrific well to say the situation was a bit of a disaster is a
situation was a bit of a disaster is a
situation was a bit of a disaster is a bit of an understatement so dare I was a
bit of an understatement so dare I was a
bit of an understatement so dare I was a walk off in March 2005 staring at the
walk off in March 2005 staring at the
walk off in March 2005 staring at the ceiling and asking myself the question
ceiling and asking myself the question
ceiling and asking myself the question why does my life feel so wrong what I
why does my life feel so wrong what I
why does my life feel so wrong what I knew Aitken choices one choice
knew Aitken choices one choice
knew Aitken choices one choice was continued living the life I was
was continued living the life I was
was continued living the life I was living or to change my life and go in a
living or to change my life and go in a
living or to change my life and go in a new direction but at the time I didn’t
new direction but at the time I didn’t
new direction but at the time I didn’t really know how so I continued for the
really know how so I continued for the
really know how so I continued for the next number of years living this erratic
next number of years living this erratic
next number of years living this erratic and jobs that I didn’t really like in
and jobs that I didn’t really like in
and jobs that I didn’t really like in the first place I remember what my last
the first place I remember what my last
the first place I remember what my last job’s was a recruitment consultant and
job’s was a recruitment consultant and
job’s was a recruitment consultant and if you saw me inside the office you
if you saw me inside the office you
if you saw me inside the office you would definitely say I was probably the
would definitely say I was probably the
would definitely say I was probably the most unmotivated unenthusiastic employee
most unmotivated unenthusiastic employee
most unmotivated unenthusiastic employee you ever saw and what that he wasn’t
you ever saw and what that he wasn’t
you ever saw and what that he wasn’t getting the employee the mantener I can
getting the employee the mantener I can
getting the employee the mantener I can tell you that much but an energist day I
tell you that much but an energist day I
tell you that much but an energist day I got a phone call from my friend down
got a phone call from my friend down
got a phone call from my friend down South Africa and he invited me down to
South Africa and he invited me down to
South Africa and he invited me down to Iraq before a two-week holiday so I
Iraq before a two-week holiday so I
Iraq before a two-week holiday so I jumped at the chance and packed my bags
jumped at the chance and packed my bags
jumped at the chance and packed my bags and off I went I was before I knew I was
and off I went I was before I knew I was
and off I went I was before I knew I was hanging over South Africa enjoying the
hanging over South Africa enjoying the
hanging over South Africa enjoying the Sun the beers and all of that so I got
Sun the beers and all of that so I got
Sun the beers and all of that so I got to talk to my head to convince my friend
to talk to my head to convince my friend
to talk to my head to convince my friend they convinced me to quit my job so
they convinced me to quit my job so
they convinced me to quit my job so there I was I said my past alone in
there I was I said my past alone in
there I was I said my past alone in email dear mr. Smith I regret to inform
email dear mr. Smith I regret to inform
email dear mr. Smith I regret to inform you that dr. touch it gave me great
you that dr. touch it gave me great
you that dr. touch it gave me great pleasure to do so to be totally honest
pleasure to do so to be totally honest
pleasure to do so to be totally honest with you but I don’t he was already joy
with you but I don’t he was already joy
with you but I don’t he was already joy when he actually got that email so then
when he actually got that email so then
when he actually got that email so then I was in South Africa jobless soulless
I was in South Africa jobless soulless
I was in South Africa jobless soulless and absolutely clueless in regard to
and absolutely clueless in regard to
and absolutely clueless in regard to what the next step of my life would be
what the next step of my life would be
what the next step of my life would be so at the time I was doing it ink on the
so at the time I was doing it ink on the
so at the time I was doing it ink on the actors away which is basically is it
actors away which is basically is it
actors away which is basically is it more you use morning pages and you use
more you use morning pages and you use
more you use morning pages and you use it’s a way to actually connect with your
it’s a way to actually connect with your
it’s a way to actually connect with your authentic and creative self so it’s a
authentic and creative self so it’s a
authentic and creative self so it’s a free-form writing and you do it every
free-form writing and you do it every
free-form writing and you do it every morning for three pages and the talking
morning for three pages and the talking
morning for three pages and the talking about through these pages for me to
about through these pages for me to
about through these pages for me to actually go to India so I trusted the
actually go to India so I trusted the
actually go to India so I trusted the Taj on a bit of a whim poke the one-way
Taj on a bit of a whim poke the one-way
Taj on a bit of a whim poke the one-way ticket from South Africa
ticket from South Africa
ticket from South Africa and I think my poor mom god bless her
and I think my poor mom god bless her
and I think my poor mom god bless her but she still I you know but she was
but she still I you know but she was
but she still I you know but she was having a stroke or a nervous breakdown
having a stroke or a nervous breakdown
having a stroke or a nervous breakdown on her daughter when she heard on this
on her daughter when she heard on this
on her daughter when she heard on this stuff was going on so I landed in Mumbai
stuff was going on so I landed in Mumbai
stuff was going on so I landed in Mumbai Airport and I was a bit of a shock to
Airport and I was a bit of a shock to
Airport and I was a bit of a shock to the system with audience which
the system with audience which
the system with audience which because the noise levels and the sounds
because the noise levels and the sounds
because the noise levels and the sounds and the whole rock was totally
and the whole rock was totally
and the whole rock was totally overwhelming for me and this profound
overwhelming for me and this profound
overwhelming for me and this profound question came into my head what the hell
question came into my head what the hell
question came into my head what the hell am I doing here
so well I said I’m gonna make the most
so well I said I’m gonna make the most of it so I headed off to go on the
of it so I headed off to go on the
of it so I headed off to go on the beaches of Goa and I lived the life of a
beaches of Goa and I lived the life of a
beaches of Goa and I lived the life of a bitch poem / hippie / New Age spiritual
bitch poem / hippie / New Age spiritual
bitch poem / hippie / New Age spiritual whatever you want to call me and crumble
whatever you want to call me and crumble
whatever you want to call me and crumble tree or form once and I got away with
tree or form once and I got away with
tree or form once and I got away with Lego Singh or I’m trying to find my son
Lego Singh or I’m trying to find my son
Lego Singh or I’m trying to find my son but yeah whatever that means
but yeah whatever that means
but yeah whatever that means so I know but I said after about 3 or 4
so I know but I said after about 3 or 4
so I know but I said after about 3 or 4 months instead of I get my act together
months instead of I get my act together
months instead of I get my act together here so I went off to a yoga ashram and
here so I went off to a yoga ashram and
here so I went off to a yoga ashram and trained to be a yoga teacher so that
trained to be a yoga teacher so that
trained to be a yoga teacher so that really kind of changed my life to a
really kind of changed my life to a
really kind of changed my life to a degree so I said I felt I was ready know
degree so I said I felt I was ready know
degree so I said I felt I was ready know to go back to carp and face the newest
to go back to carp and face the newest
to go back to carp and face the newest version say it face the reality of my
version say it face the reality of my
version say it face the reality of my situation
situation
situation so I landed back in car and didn’t
so I landed back in car and didn’t
so I landed back in car and didn’t really know or have a clue what I was
really know or have a clue what I was
really know or have a clue what I was gonna do next and to be honest here I
gonna do next and to be honest here I
gonna do next and to be honest here I had two choices for me when I was
had two choices for me when I was
had two choices for me when I was thinking about things one was either go
thinking about things one was either go
thinking about things one was either go back to my all the way living before
back to my all the way living before
back to my all the way living before South Africa or to look for a new and a
South Africa or to look for a new and a
South Africa or to look for a new and a different way in my life so I choose the
different way in my life so I choose the
different way in my life so I choose the latter option but I didn’t know how to
latter option but I didn’t know how to
latter option but I didn’t know how to create this new way so at the time I was
create this new way so at the time I was
create this new way so at the time I was continuing to do the morning pages and
continuing to do the morning pages and
continuing to do the morning pages and what came up for me was actually doing
what came up for me was actually doing
what came up for me was actually doing this creative writing and to explore
this creative writing and to explore
this creative writing and to explore this I was doing a lot of writing when I
this I was doing a lot of writing when I
this I was doing a lot of writing when I was actually in India so I decided to
was actually in India so I decided to
was actually in India so I decided to investigate and I interrupt in a
investigate and I interrupt in a
investigate and I interrupt in a master’s in journalism and when partly
master’s in journalism and when partly
master’s in journalism and when partly due to Jerome developed my creativity
due to Jerome developed my creativity
due to Jerome developed my creativity but other part was escape the world of
but other part was escape the world of
but other part was escape the world of work for another 12 months so I
work for another 12 months so I
work for another 12 months so I continued doing that and what I was
continued doing that and what I was
continued doing that and what I was doing this I started little radio show
doing this I started little radio show
doing this I started little radio show called the headstone and which is now
called the headstone and which is now
called the headstone and which is now evolved into like an online and offline
evolved into like an online and offline
evolved into like an online and offline platform for for health and well-being
platform for for health and well-being
platform for for health and well-being and part of process of the creative
and part of process of the creative
and part of process of the creative journey with the apps way for me has
journey with the apps way for me has
journey with the apps way for me has really been helping me to learn and
really been helping me to learn and
really been helping me to learn and trust myself
trust myself
trust myself and as a result of being on this journey
and as a result of being on this journey
and as a result of being on this journey I from there with the hell’s own
I from there with the hell’s own
I from there with the hell’s own developer base as well as had the honor
developer base as well as had the honor
developer base as well as had the honor and privilege
and privilege
and privilege interview various different people like
interview various different people like
interview various different people like marrying Benson dr. Bruce Lipton Mooji
marrying Benson dr. Bruce Lipton Mooji
marrying Benson dr. Bruce Lipton Mooji and many others and it reminds me of
and many others and it reminds me of
and many others and it reminds me of time going back about 6 or 7 years ago
time going back about 6 or 7 years ago
time going back about 6 or 7 years ago when I was having another leaking many
when I was having another leaking many
when I was having another leaking many crises my life regard to what to do next
crises my life regard to what to do next
crises my life regard to what to do next it was actually with my friend Aaron
it was actually with my friend Aaron
it was actually with my friend Aaron he’s actually in the audience tonight
he’s actually in the audience tonight
he’s actually in the audience tonight and we are having this deep profound
and we are having this deep profound
and we are having this deep profound conversation about the meaning of life
conversation about the meaning of life
conversation about the meaning of life and what to what to do with life he
and what to what to do with life he
and what to what to do with life he asked me why would you really really
asked me why would you really really
asked me why would you really really love to do with your life and I said
love to do with your life and I said
love to do with your life and I said well what I really would love to do is
well what I really would love to do is
well what I really would love to do is actually interview inspiring people and
actually interview inspiring people and
actually interview inspiring people and after trying I didn’t really believe
after trying I didn’t really believe
after trying I didn’t really believe with the possibility or even a reality
with the possibility or even a reality
with the possibility or even a reality for me but you know but so so you may be
for me but you know but so so you may be
for me but you know but so so you may be asking yourself like why am I telling
asking yourself like why am I telling
asking yourself like why am I telling you telling you all of this well look
you telling you all of this well look
you telling you all of this well look it’s not to boost my own ego but it’s
it’s not to boost my own ego but it’s
it’s not to boost my own ego but it’s more to share with you that is when I
more to share with you that is when I
more to share with you that is when I started to really trust and listen to
started to really trust and listen to
started to really trust and listen to myself that I became happier and more
myself that I became happier and more
myself that I became happier and more peaceful in my life that’s when I
peaceful in my life that’s when I
peaceful in my life that’s when I started to trust the process and folks
started to trust the process and folks
started to trust the process and folks in the process rather than the outcome
in the process rather than the outcome
in the process rather than the outcome like it says crazy lunatic album
like it says crazy lunatic album
like it says crazy lunatic album overseers man that I start becoming more
overseers man that I start becoming more
overseers man that I start becoming more present and connected to who I was and
present and connected to who I was and
present and connected to who I was and that’s when I started to really approve
that’s when I started to really approve
that’s when I started to really approve and accept myself that it was then I
and accept myself that it was then I
and accept myself that it was then I became who I really am so now imagine in
became who I really am so now imagine in
became who I really am so now imagine in your own life and you’re living your
your own life and you’re living your
your own life and you’re living your life based on the approval the
life based on the approval the
life based on the approval the acceptance and the recognition of
acceptance and the recognition of
acceptance and the recognition of yourself and you’re realizing your full
yourself and you’re realizing your full
yourself and you’re realizing your full and true potential as you journey
and true potential as you journey
and true potential as you journey through the journey of life your choices
through the journey of life your choices
through the journey of life your choices to make in regard to what feels right
to make in regard to what feels right
to make in regard to what feels right and what feels true for you you’re no
and what feels true for you you’re no
and what feels true for you you’re no longer thanks to music or the drumbeat
longer thanks to music or the drumbeat
longer thanks to music or the drumbeat of other people around you but you’ll be
of other people around you but you’ll be
of other people around you but you’ll be listening to the clear in annoying and
listening to the clear in annoying and
listening to the clear in annoying and that feeling and the optimal trust with
that feeling and the optimal trust with
that feeling and the optimal trust with yourself and how to create a life which
yourself and how to create a life which
yourself and how to create a life which feels authentic and true for you so the
feels authentic and true for you so the
feels authentic and true for you so the question now is how can you go out and
question now is how can you go out and
question now is how can you go out and create life which figures right for you
”
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