I started teaching MBA students 17 years ago and sometimes I run into my students
ago and sometimes I run into my students
ago and sometimes I run into my students years later and when I run into them a
years later and when I run into them a
years later and when I run into them a funny thing happens I don’t remember
funny thing happens I don’t remember
funny thing happens I don’t remember just their faces I also remember where
just their faces I also remember where
just their faces I also remember where exactly the classroom they were sitting
exactly the classroom they were sitting
exactly the classroom they were sitting and I also remember who they were
and I also remember who they were
and I also remember who they were sitting with as well and this is not
sitting with as well and this is not
sitting with as well and this is not because I have any special super powers
because I have any special super powers
because I have any special super powers of memory the reason I can remember them
of memory the reason I can remember them
of memory the reason I can remember them is because they have creatures of habit
is because they have creatures of habit
is because they have creatures of habit they are sitting with the favorite
they are sitting with the favorite
they are sitting with the favorite people in their favorite seats they find
people in their favorite seats they find
people in their favorite seats they find their twins they stay with them for the
their twins they stay with them for the
their twins they stay with them for the whole year now the danger of this for my
whole year now the danger of this for my
whole year now the danger of this for my students is they’re at risk of leaving
students is they’re at risk of leaving
students is they’re at risk of leaving the university with just a few people
the university with just a few people
the university with just a few people who are exactly like them they’re going
who are exactly like them they’re going
who are exactly like them they’re going to squander their chance for an
to squander their chance for an
to squander their chance for an international diverse network how could
international diverse network how could
international diverse network how could this happen to them my students are
this happen to them my students are
this happen to them my students are open-minded they come to business school
open-minded they come to business school
open-minded they come to business school precisely so that they can great get
precisely so that they can great get
precisely so that they can great get great networks now all of us socially
great networks now all of us socially
great networks now all of us socially narrow in our lives in our our our
narrow in our lives in our our our
narrow in our lives in our our our school in work and so I want you to
school in work and so I want you to
school in work and so I want you to think about this one how many of you
think about this one how many of you
think about this one how many of you here brought a friend along for this
here brought a friend along for this
here brought a friend along for this talk and I want you to look at your
talk and I want you to look at your
talk and I want you to look at your friend a little bit and are they of the
friend a little bit and are they of the
friend a little bit and are they of the same nationality as you are they’re the
same nationality as you are they’re the
same nationality as you are they’re the same gender as you are they of the same
same gender as you are they of the same
same gender as you are they of the same race and really look at them closely
race and really look at them closely
race and really look at them closely don’t they kind of look like you as well
don’t they kind of look like you as well
don’t they kind of look like you as well their muscle people are together and the
their muscle people are together and the
their muscle people are together and the people are the same hairstyles and the
people are the same hairstyles and the
people are the same hairstyles and the check shirts we all do this in life we
check shirts we all do this in life we
check shirts we all do this in life we all do it in life and in fact there’s
all do it in life and in fact there’s
all do it in life and in fact there’s nothing wrong with this it makes us
nothing wrong with this it makes us
nothing wrong with this it makes us comfortable to be around people who are
comfortable to be around people who are
comfortable to be around people who are similar the problem is when we are on a
similar the problem is when we are on a
similar the problem is when we are on a precipice right when we’re in trouble
precipice right when we’re in trouble
precipice right when we’re in trouble when we need new ideas when we need new
when we need new ideas when we need new
when we need new ideas when we need new jobs when we need new resources this is
jobs when we need new resources this is
jobs when we need new resources this is when we really pay a price for living in
when we really pay a price for living in
when we really pay a price for living in a click mark Granovetter the sociologist
a click mark Granovetter the sociologist
a click mark Granovetter the sociologist he had a famous paper called the
he had a famous paper called the
he had a famous paper called the strength of weak ties and what he did in
strength of weak ties and what he did in
strength of weak ties and what he did in this papers he asked people how they got
this papers he asked people how they got
this papers he asked people how they got their jobs and what he learned was that
their jobs and what he learned was that
their jobs and what he learned was that most people don’t get their jobs through
most people don’t get their jobs through
most people don’t get their jobs through their strong ties their father their
their strong ties their father their
their strong ties their father their mother their significant other they
mother their significant other they
mother their significant other they instead get jobs through weak ties
instead get jobs through weak ties
instead get jobs through weak ties people who they just met so if you think
people who they just met so if you think
people who they just met so if you think about what the problem is with your
about what the problem is with your
about what the problem is with your strong ties think about your significant
strong ties think about your significant
strong ties think about your significant other for example the network is
other for example the network is
other for example the network is redundant everybody that they know you
redundant everybody that they know you
redundant everybody that they know you know or I hope you know though right
know or I hope you know though right
know or I hope you know though right your weak ties people you just met today
your weak ties people you just met today
your weak ties people you just met today they are your ticket to a whole new
they are your ticket to a whole new
they are your ticket to a whole new social world the thing is that we have
social world the thing is that we have
social world the thing is that we have this amazing ticket to travel our social
this amazing ticket to travel our social
this amazing ticket to travel our social world but we don’t use it very well
world but we don’t use it very well
world but we don’t use it very well sometimes we stay awfully close to home
sometimes we stay awfully close to home
sometimes we stay awfully close to home and today what I want to talk about is
and today what I want to talk about is
and today what I want to talk about is what are those habits that keep human
what are those habits that keep human
what are those habits that keep human being so close to home and how can we be
being so close to home and how can we be
being so close to home and how can we be a little bit more intentional about
a little bit more intentional about
a little bit more intentional about traveling our social universe so let’s
traveling our social universe so let’s
traveling our social universe so let’s look at the first strategy the first
look at the first strategy the first
look at the first strategy the first strategy is to use a more imperfect
strategy is to use a more imperfect
strategy is to use a more imperfect social search engine and what I mean by
social search engine and what I mean by
social search engine and what I mean by a social search engine this is how you
a social search engine this is how you
a social search engine this is how you are finding and filtering your friends
are finding and filtering your friends
are finding and filtering your friends ok and so people always tell me I want
ok and so people always tell me I want
ok and so people always tell me I want to get lucky through the network I’m
to get lucky through the network I’m
to get lucky through the network I’m going to get a new job I want to get a
going to get a new job I want to get a
going to get a new job I want to get a great opportunity and I say well that’s
great opportunity and I say well that’s
great opportunity and I say well that’s really hard because your networks are so
really hard because your networks are so
really hard because your networks are so fundamentally predictable map out your
fundamentally predictable map out your
fundamentally predictable map out your habitual daily foot path and what you’ll
habitual daily foot path and what you’ll
habitual daily foot path and what you’ll probably discover is that you could
probably discover is that you could
probably discover is that you could start at home you go to your school or
start at home you go to your school or
start at home you go to your school or your work place you maybe go up the same
your work place you maybe go up the same
your work place you maybe go up the same staircase or elevator you go to the
staircase or elevator you go to the
staircase or elevator you go to the bathroom the same bathroom and the same
bathroom the same bathroom and the same
bathroom the same bathroom and the same stall in that bathroom you end up in the
stall in that bathroom you end up in the
stall in that bathroom you end up in the gym then you come right back home it’s
gym then you come right back home it’s
gym then you come right back home it’s like stops on a train schedule it’s that
like stops on a train schedule it’s that
like stops on a train schedule it’s that predictable it’s efficient but the
predictable it’s efficient but the
predictable it’s efficient but the problem is that that you’re seeing
problem is that that you’re seeing
problem is that that you’re seeing exactly the same people make your
exactly the same people make your
exactly the same people make your network slightly more inefficient go to
network slightly more inefficient go to
network slightly more inefficient go to a bathroom on a different floor you
a bathroom on a different floor you
a bathroom on a different floor you encounter a whole new network of people
encounter a whole new network of people
encounter a whole new network of people the the other side of it is how we are
the the other side of it is how we are
the the other side of it is how we are actually filtering and we do this
actually filtering and we do this
actually filtering and we do this automatically
automatically
automatically the minute we meet someone we’re looking
the minute we meet someone we’re looking
the minute we meet someone we’re looking at them we meet them
at them we meet them
at them we meet them we’re initially seeing you’re
we’re initially seeing you’re
we’re initially seeing you’re interesting you’re not interesting
interesting you’re not interesting
interesting you’re not interesting you’re relevant we do this automatically
you’re relevant we do this automatically
you’re relevant we do this automatically we can’t even help it and what I want to
we can’t even help it and what I want to
we can’t even help it and what I want to encourage you to do instead is to fight
encourage you to do instead is to fight
encourage you to do instead is to fight your filters I want you to take a look
your filters I want you to take a look
your filters I want you to take a look around this room and I want you to
around this room and I want you to
around this room and I want you to identify the least interesting person
identify the least interesting person
identify the least interesting person that you see and I want you to connect
that you see and I want you to connect
that you see and I want you to connect with them over the next coffee break and
with them over the next coffee break and
with them over the next coffee break and I want you to go even further than that
I want you to go even further than that
I want you to go even further than that what I want you to do is to find the
what I want you to do is to find the
what I want you to do is to find the most irritating person you see as well
most irritating person you see as well
most irritating person you see as well and connect with them what you are doing
and connect with them what you are doing
and connect with them what you are doing with this exercise is you are forcing
with this exercise is you are forcing
with this exercise is you are forcing yourself you’re forcing yourself to see
yourself you’re forcing yourself to see
yourself you’re forcing yourself to see what you don’t want to see to connect
what you don’t want to see to connect
what you don’t want to see to connect with who you don’t want to connect to
with who you don’t want to connect to
with who you don’t want to connect to widen your social world to truly widen
widen your social world to truly widen
widen your social world to truly widen what we have to do is we’ve got to fight
what we have to do is we’ve got to fight
what we have to do is we’ve got to fight our sense of choice you’ve got to fight
our sense of choice you’ve got to fight
our sense of choice you’ve got to fight our choices and my students hate this
our choices and my students hate this
our choices and my students hate this but you know what I do I won’t let them
but you know what I do I won’t let them
but you know what I do I won’t let them sit in their favorite seats I move them
sit in their favorite seats I move them
sit in their favorite seats I move them around from seat to seat I force them to
around from seat to seat I force them to
around from seat to seat I force them to work with different people so that there
work with different people so that there
work with different people so that there are more accidental bumps in the network
are more accidental bumps in the network
are more accidental bumps in the network where people get a chance to connect
where people get a chance to connect
where people get a chance to connect with each other and we studied exactly
with each other and we studied exactly
with each other and we studied exactly this kind of an intervention at Harvard
this kind of an intervention at Harvard
this kind of an intervention at Harvard University and at Harvard when you look
University and at Harvard when you look
University and at Harvard when you look at the rooming groups there’s freshmen
at the rooming groups there’s freshmen
at the rooming groups there’s freshmen rooming groups people are not choosing
rooming groups people are not choosing
rooming groups people are not choosing those roommates there of all different
those roommates there of all different
those roommates there of all different races all different ethnicities many
races all different ethnicities many
races all different ethnicities many people are initially uncomfortable with
people are initially uncomfortable with
people are initially uncomfortable with those roommates but the amazing thing is
those roommates but the amazing thing is
those roommates but the amazing thing is at the end of a year with those students
at the end of a year with those students
at the end of a year with those students they’re able to overcome that initial
they’re able to overcome that initial
they’re able to overcome that initial discomfort they’re able to find deep
discomfort they’re able to find deep
discomfort they’re able to find deep level commonalities with people so the
level commonalities with people so the
level commonalities with people so the takeaway here is not just take someone
takeaway here is not just take someone
takeaway here is not just take someone out to coffee it’s a little more subtle
out to coffee it’s a little more subtle
out to coffee it’s a little more subtle it’s go to the coffee room and when
it’s go to the coffee room and when
it’s go to the coffee room and when researchers talk about social hubs what
researchers talk about social hubs what
researchers talk about social hubs what makes a social hub so special is you
makes a social hub so special is you
makes a social hub so special is you can’t choose you can’t predict who
can’t choose you can’t predict who
can’t choose you can’t predict who you’re going to meet in that place and
you’re going to meet in that place and
you’re going to meet in that place and so with these social hubs that the
so with these social hubs that the
so with these social hubs that the paradox is interestingly enough to get
paradox is interestingly enough to get
paradox is interestingly enough to get randomness it requires actually some
randomness it requires actually some
randomness it requires actually some planning
planning
planning in one university that I worked at there
in one university that I worked at there
in one university that I worked at there was a mail room on every single floor
was a mail room on every single floor
was a mail room on every single floor what that meant is that the only people
what that meant is that the only people
what that meant is that the only people who would bump into each other are those
who would bump into each other are those
who would bump into each other are those who are actually on that floor and who
who are actually on that floor and who
who are actually on that floor and who are bumping into each other anyway at
are bumping into each other anyway at
are bumping into each other anyway at another university I worked at there was
another university I worked at there was
another university I worked at there was only one mailroom and so all the faculty
only one mailroom and so all the faculty
only one mailroom and so all the faculty from all over that building would run
from all over that building would run
from all over that building would run into each other in that social hub a
into each other in that social hub a
into each other in that social hub a simple change in in planning a huge
simple change in in planning a huge
simple change in in planning a huge difference in the traffic of people and
difference in the traffic of people and
difference in the traffic of people and the accidental bumps in the network and
the accidental bumps in the network and
the accidental bumps in the network and here’s my question for you
here’s my question for you
here’s my question for you what is what are you doing that breaks
what is what are you doing that breaks
what is what are you doing that breaks you from your social habits where do you
you from your social habits where do you
you from your social habits where do you find yourself in places where you get
find yourself in places where you get
find yourself in places where you get injections of diversity unpredictable
injections of diversity unpredictable
injections of diversity unpredictable diversity right and my students give me
diversity right and my students give me
diversity right and my students give me some wonderful examples they tell me
some wonderful examples they tell me
some wonderful examples they tell me when they’re doing pickup basketball
when they’re doing pickup basketball
when they’re doing pickup basketball games or my favorite example is when
games or my favorite example is when
games or my favorite example is when they go to a dog park they tell me it’s
they go to a dog park they tell me it’s
they go to a dog park they tell me it’s even better than online dating when
even better than online dating when
even better than online dating when they’re there so the the real thing that
they’re there so the the real thing that
they’re there so the the real thing that I wanted to think about is we’ve got to
I wanted to think about is we’ve got to
I wanted to think about is we’ve got to fight our filters we’ve got to make
fight our filters we’ve got to make
fight our filters we’ve got to make ourselves a little more inefficient and
ourselves a little more inefficient and
ourselves a little more inefficient and by doing so we’re creating a more
by doing so we’re creating a more
by doing so we’re creating a more imprecise social search engine and
imprecise social search engine and
imprecise social search engine and you’re creating that randomness that
you’re creating that randomness that
you’re creating that randomness that luck that is going to cause you to widen
luck that is going to cause you to widen
luck that is going to cause you to widen your travels through your social
your travels through your social
your travels through your social universe but in fact there’s more to it
universe but in fact there’s more to it
universe but in fact there’s more to it than that
than that
than that sometimes we actually buy ourselves a
sometimes we actually buy ourselves a
sometimes we actually buy ourselves a second-class ticket to travel our social
second-class ticket to travel our social
second-class ticket to travel our social universe we are not courageous when we
universe we are not courageous when we
universe we are not courageous when we reach out to people let me give you an
reach out to people let me give you an
reach out to people let me give you an example of that a few years ago I had a
example of that a few years ago I had a
example of that a few years ago I had a very eventful year that year I managed
very eventful year that year I managed
very eventful year that year I managed to lose a job I managed to get a dream
to lose a job I managed to get a dream
to lose a job I managed to get a dream job over-seasoned accepted
job over-seasoned accepted
job over-seasoned accepted I had a baby the next month I got very
I had a baby the next month I got very
I had a baby the next month I got very sick I was unable to take the dream job
sick I was unable to take the dream job
sick I was unable to take the dream job and so in a few weeks what ended up
and so in a few weeks what ended up
and so in a few weeks what ended up happening was I lost my identity as a
happening was I lost my identity as a
happening was I lost my identity as a faculty member and I got a very
faculty member and I got a very
faculty member and I got a very stressful new identity as a mother and
stressful new identity as a mother and
stressful new identity as a mother and what I also got was tons of advice from
what I also got was tons of advice from
what I also got was tons of advice from people and the advice I despised more
people and the advice I despised more
people and the advice I despised more than any other advice was you’ve got to
than any other advice was you’ve got to
than any other advice was you’ve got to go network with everybody when your
go network with everybody when your
go network with everybody when your psychological world is breaking down the
psychological world is breaking down the
psychological world is breaking down the hardest thing to do is to try and reach
hardest thing to do is to try and reach
hardest thing to do is to try and reach out and build up your social world
out and build up your social world
out and build up your social world and so we studied exactly this idea on a
and so we studied exactly this idea on a
and so we studied exactly this idea on a much larger scale what we did was we
much larger scale what we did was we
much larger scale what we did was we looked at high and low socioeconomic
looked at high and low socioeconomic
looked at high and low socioeconomic status people and we looked at them in
status people and we looked at them in
status people and we looked at them in two situations we looked at them first
two situations we looked at them first
two situations we looked at them first in a baseline condition when they were
in a baseline condition when they were
in a baseline condition when they were quite comfortable and what we found was
quite comfortable and what we found was
quite comfortable and what we found was that our lower socioeconomic status
that our lower socioeconomic status
that our lower socioeconomic status people when they were comfortable they
people when they were comfortable they
people when they were comfortable they were actually reaching out to more
were actually reaching out to more
were actually reaching out to more people they thought of more people they
people they thought of more people they
people they thought of more people they were also less constrained and how they
were also less constrained and how they
were also less constrained and how they were networking they were thinking of
were networking they were thinking of
were networking they were thinking of more diverse people then the higher
more diverse people then the higher
more diverse people then the higher status people then we asked them to
status people then we asked them to
status people then we asked them to think about maybe losing a job we
think about maybe losing a job we
think about maybe losing a job we threatened them and once they thought
threatened them and once they thought
threatened them and once they thought about that the networks they generated
about that the networks they generated
about that the networks they generated completely differ
completely differ
completely differ the lower socioeconomic status people
the lower socioeconomic status people
the lower socioeconomic status people they reached in words they thought of
they reached in words they thought of
they reached in words they thought of fewer people they thought of less
fewer people they thought of less
fewer people they thought of less diverse people the higher socioeconomic
diverse people the higher socioeconomic
diverse people the higher socioeconomic status people they thought of more
status people they thought of more
status people they thought of more people they thought of a broader network
people they thought of a broader network
people they thought of a broader network they were positioning themselves to
they were positioning themselves to
they were positioning themselves to bounce back from that setback let’s
bounce back from that setback let’s
bounce back from that setback let’s consider what this actually means
consider what this actually means
consider what this actually means imagine that you are being spontaneously
imagine that you are being spontaneously
imagine that you are being spontaneously unfriended by everyone in your network
unfriended by everyone in your network
unfriended by everyone in your network other than your mom your dad and your
other than your mom your dad and your
other than your mom your dad and your dog okay this is essentially what we are
dog okay this is essentially what we are
dog okay this is essentially what we are doing at these moments when we need our
doing at these moments when we need our
doing at these moments when we need our networks the most right imagine this is
networks the most right imagine this is
networks the most right imagine this is what we’re doing it to ourselves we are
what we’re doing it to ourselves we are
what we’re doing it to ourselves we are mentally compressing our networks when
mentally compressing our networks when
mentally compressing our networks when we are being harassed when we are being
we are being harassed when we are being
we are being harassed when we are being bullied when we are threatened about
bullied when we are threatened about
bullied when we are threatened about losing a job when we feel down and weak
losing a job when we feel down and weak
losing a job when we feel down and weak we are closing ourself off isolating
we are closing ourself off isolating
we are closing ourself off isolating ourselves creating a blind spot where we
ourselves creating a blind spot where we
ourselves creating a blind spot where we actually don’t see our resources we
actually don’t see our resources we
actually don’t see our resources we don’t see our allies we don’t see our
don’t see our allies we don’t see our
don’t see our allies we don’t see our opportunities how can we overcome this
opportunities how can we overcome this
opportunities how can we overcome this two simple strategies one strategy is
two simple strategies one strategy is
two simple strategies one strategy is simply to look at your list of Facebook
simply to look at your list of Facebook
simply to look at your list of Facebook friends and LinkedIn friends just so you
friends and LinkedIn friends just so you
friends and LinkedIn friends just so you remind yourself of people who are there
remind yourself of people who are there
remind yourself of people who are there beyond those that automatically come to
beyond those that automatically come to
beyond those that automatically come to mind and in our own research one of the
mind and in our own research one of the
mind and in our own research one of the things we did was we considered Claude
things we did was we considered Claude
things we did was we considered Claude Steele’s research on self affirmation
Steele’s research on self affirmation
Steele’s research on self affirmation simply thinking about your own values
simply thinking about your own values
simply thinking about your own values networking from a place of strength what
networking from a place of strength what
networking from a place of strength what Lee Thompson who looked I and I were
Lee Thompson who looked I and I were
Lee Thompson who looked I and I were able to do is we found that people who
able to do is we found that people who
able to do is we found that people who had a
had a
had a themselves first were able to take
themselves first were able to take
themselves first were able to take advice from people who would otherwise
advice from people who would otherwise
advice from people who would otherwise be threatening to them here’s a last
be threatening to them here’s a last
be threatening to them here’s a last exercise I want you to look in your
exercise I want you to look in your
exercise I want you to look in your email inbox and I want you to look at
email inbox and I want you to look at
email inbox and I want you to look at the last time you asked somebody for a
the last time you asked somebody for a
the last time you asked somebody for a favor and I want you to look at the
favor and I want you to look at the
favor and I want you to look at the language that you used did you say
language that you used did you say
language that you used did you say things like oh you’re a great resource
things like oh you’re a great resource
things like oh you’re a great resource or I owe you one I’m obligated to you
or I owe you one I’m obligated to you
or I owe you one I’m obligated to you all of this language represents a
all of this language represents a
all of this language represents a metaphor it’s a metaphor of economics of
metaphor it’s a metaphor of economics of
metaphor it’s a metaphor of economics of a balance sheet of accounting of
a balance sheet of accounting of
a balance sheet of accounting of transactions and when we think about
transactions and when we think about
transactions and when we think about human relations in a transactional way
human relations in a transactional way
human relations in a transactional way it is fundamentally uncomfortable to us
it is fundamentally uncomfortable to us
it is fundamentally uncomfortable to us as human beings we must think about
as human beings we must think about
as human beings we must think about human relations and reaching out to
human relations and reaching out to
human relations and reaching out to people in more humane ways and here’s an
people in more humane ways and here’s an
people in more humane ways and here’s an idea as to how to do so look at words
idea as to how to do so look at words
idea as to how to do so look at words like please thank you you’re welcome
like please thank you you’re welcome
like please thank you you’re welcome in other languages look at the literal
in other languages look at the literal
in other languages look at the literal translation of these words each of these
translation of these words each of these
translation of these words each of these words is a word that helps us impose
words is a word that helps us impose
words is a word that helps us impose upon other people in our social networks
upon other people in our social networks
upon other people in our social networks and so the word thank you if you look at
and so the word thank you if you look at
and so the word thank you if you look at it in Spanish Italian French
it in Spanish Italian French
it in Spanish Italian French gracias grazie merci in French each of
gracias grazie merci in French each of
gracias grazie merci in French each of them are grace and mercy they’re godly
them are grace and mercy they’re godly
them are grace and mercy they’re godly words there’s nothing economic or
words there’s nothing economic or
words there’s nothing economic or transactional about those words the word
transactional about those words the word
transactional about those words the word you’re welcome is interesting the great
you’re welcome is interesting the great
you’re welcome is interesting the great persuasion theorist Robert childen he
persuasion theorist Robert childen he
persuasion theorist Robert childen he says we got to get our favours back so
says we got to get our favours back so
says we got to get our favours back so we need to emphasize the transaction a
we need to emphasize the transaction a
we need to emphasize the transaction a little bit more he says let’s not say
little bit more he says let’s not say
little bit more he says let’s not say you’re welcome
you’re welcome
you’re welcome instead say I know you do the same for
instead say I know you do the same for
instead say I know you do the same for me but sometimes it may be helpful to
me but sometimes it may be helpful to
me but sometimes it may be helpful to not think in transactional ways to
not think in transactional ways to
not think in transactional ways to eliminate the transaction to make it a
eliminate the transaction to make it a
eliminate the transaction to make it a little bit more invisible and in fact if
little bit more invisible and in fact if
little bit more invisible and in fact if you look in Chinese the word vu coogee
you look in Chinese the word vu coogee
you look in Chinese the word vu coogee in Chinese you’re welcome means don’t be
in Chinese you’re welcome means don’t be
in Chinese you’re welcome means don’t be formal we’re family we don’t need to go
formal we’re family we don’t need to go
formal we’re family we don’t need to go through those formalities and come Bali
through those formalities and come Bali
through those formalities and come Bali an Indonesian is come back to me when
an Indonesian is come back to me when
an Indonesian is come back to me when you say you’re welcome next time think
you say you’re welcome next time think
you say you’re welcome next time think about how you can maybe sometimes
about how you can maybe sometimes
about how you can maybe sometimes eliminate the transaction and instead
eliminate the transaction and instead
eliminate the transaction and instead strengthen that social tie maybe it’s
strengthen that social tie maybe it’s
strengthen that social tie maybe it’s great to collaborate or that’s what
great to collaborate or that’s what
great to collaborate or that’s what friends are for okay I want you to think
friends are for okay I want you to think
friends are for okay I want you to think about how you think about this ticket
about how you think about this ticket
about how you think about this ticket that you have to travel your social
that you have to travel your social
that you have to travel your social universe
universe
universe here’s one metaphor it’s a common
here’s one metaphor it’s a common
here’s one metaphor it’s a common metaphor life is a journey right it’s a
metaphor life is a journey right it’s a
metaphor life is a journey right it’s a train ride and you’re on this train
train ride and you’re on this train
train ride and you’re on this train you’re passenger on the train and
you’re passenger on the train and
you’re passenger on the train and there’s certain people with you certain
there’s certain people with you certain
there’s certain people with you certain people get on this train and some stay
people get on this train and some stay
people get on this train and some stay with you some leave at different stops
with you some leave at different stops
with you some leave at different stops new ones may enter I love this metaphor
new ones may enter I love this metaphor
new ones may enter I love this metaphor it’s a beautiful one but I want you to
it’s a beautiful one but I want you to
it’s a beautiful one but I want you to consider a different metaphor this one
consider a different metaphor this one
consider a different metaphor this one is passive being a passenger on that
is passive being a passenger on that
is passive being a passenger on that train and it’s quite linear you’re off
train and it’s quite linear you’re off
train and it’s quite linear you’re off to some particular destination why not
to some particular destination why not
to some particular destination why not instead think of yourself as an atom
instead think of yourself as an atom
instead think of yourself as an atom bumping up against other atoms maybe
bumping up against other atoms maybe
bumping up against other atoms maybe transferring energy with them bonding
transferring energy with them bonding
transferring energy with them bonding with them a little and maybe creating
with them a little and maybe creating
with them a little and maybe creating something new on your travels through
something new on your travels through
something new on your travels through the social universe thank you so much
the social universe thank you so much
the social universe thank you so much and I hope we bump into each other again
and I hope we bump into each other again
and I hope we bump into each other again [Applause]
”
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