currently in graduate school dated having held multiple jobs and travel to
having held multiple jobs and travel to
having held multiple jobs and travel to dozens of countries I always ask myself
dozens of countries I always ask myself
dozens of countries I always ask myself one question when I’m done with all
one question when I’m done with all
one question when I’m done with all these activities and that is what has
these activities and that is what has
these activities and that is what has been the best part about what I just
been the best part about what I just
been the best part about what I just experienced now there’s a plethora of
experienced now there’s a plethora of
experienced now there’s a plethora of things I could choose from and I can
things I could choose from and I can
things I could choose from and I can guarantee you it’s not the sleepless
guarantee you it’s not the sleepless
guarantee you it’s not the sleepless nights I’ve had for work for school it’s
nights I’ve had for work for school it’s
nights I’ve had for work for school it’s not traveling 18 hours to go to another
not traveling 18 hours to go to another
not traveling 18 hours to go to another country but it always comes down to the
country but it always comes down to the
country but it always comes down to the relationships that I’ve formed to the
relationships that I’ve formed to the
relationships that I’ve formed to the people to the people that I’ve cried
people to the people that I’ve cried
people to the people that I’ve cried with to the people who I’ve smiled with
with to the people who I’ve smiled with
with to the people who I’ve smiled with and to the people who have laughed with
and to the people who have laughed with
and to the people who have laughed with but this can be a little bit of a
but this can be a little bit of a
but this can be a little bit of a challenge for us in today’s day and age
challenge for us in today’s day and age
challenge for us in today’s day and age because I think a lot of us are
because I think a lot of us are
because I think a lot of us are continuously trying to go towards the
continuously trying to go towards the
continuously trying to go towards the next goal reach the next level of
next goal reach the next level of
next goal reach the next level of competition but what happens when we
competition but what happens when we
competition but what happens when we reach those goals are we happy are we
reach those goals are we happy are we
reach those goals are we happy are we overjoyed
there are two questions that I would
there are two questions that I would like to start off with today and by a
like to start off with today and by a
like to start off with today and by a show of hands how many people here would
show of hands how many people here would
show of hands how many people here would be upset would be angry if you were
be upset would be angry if you were
be upset would be angry if you were speaking to someone face to face and you
speaking to someone face to face and you
speaking to someone face to face and you can tell that although they’re
can tell that although they’re
can tell that although they’re physically present their mind is
physically present their mind is
physically present their mind is somewhere else
somewhere else
somewhere else they’re daydreaming and it makes you
they’re daydreaming and it makes you
they’re daydreaming and it makes you feel like you’re not valued it makes you
feel like you’re not valued it makes you
feel like you’re not valued it makes you feel like you’re not important can I
feel like you’re not important can I
feel like you’re not important can I have a show of hands to see who would
have a show of hands to see who would
have a show of hands to see who would feel that way because I know I would all
feel that way because I know I would all
feel that way because I know I would all right perfect perfect I like the hands
right perfect perfect I like the hands
right perfect perfect I like the hands right away right away next question is
right away right away next question is
right away right away next question is as a graduate student I spend a lot of
as a graduate student I spend a lot of
as a graduate student I spend a lot of time in coffee shops and I’ve realized
time in coffee shops and I’ve realized
time in coffee shops and I’ve realized that this is a great place to go and
that this is a great place to go and
that this is a great place to go and observe people so once again by a show
observe people so once again by a show
observe people so once again by a show of hands how many of us have maybe been
of hands how many of us have maybe been
of hands how many of us have maybe been bombarded with so many things that we
bombarded with so many things that we
bombarded with so many things that we have going on with we have to think
have going on with we have to think
have going on with we have to think about our kids over here we have to
about our kids over here we have to
about our kids over here we have to think about our partner over here we
think about our partner over here we
think about our partner over here we have to think oh my gosh we have 20 text
have to think oh my gosh we have 20 text
have to think oh my gosh we have 20 text messages to reply to 30 calls to respond
messages to reply to 30 calls to respond
messages to reply to 30 calls to respond back to so by the time we get to the
back to so by the time we get to the
back to so by the time we get to the barista and they say hey how are you may
barista and they say hey how are you may
barista and they say hey how are you may I take your order you’re you’re so
I take your order you’re you’re so
I take your order you’re you’re so caught up in this and you just a
caught up in this and you just a
caught up in this and you just a I’m good can I get a nonfat latte please
I’m good can I get a nonfat latte please
I’m good can I get a nonfat latte please and then you just go about your day have
and then you just go about your day have
and then you just go about your day have any of us done that we’ve been so caught
any of us done that we’ve been so caught
any of us done that we’ve been so caught up in our own life and I know I have so
up in our own life and I know I have so
up in our own life and I know I have so I’m going to raise my hand from the
I’m going to raise my hand from the
I’m going to raise my hand from the beginning perfect I see some people
beginning perfect I see some people
beginning perfect I see some people raising their hand I see some people
raising their hand I see some people
raising their hand I see some people nodding so I’ll take the knowledge of
nodding so I’ll take the knowledge of
nodding so I’ll take the knowledge of the yes also so I’d like to now provide
the yes also so I’d like to now provide
the yes also so I’d like to now provide an alternative example that happened to
an alternative example that happened to
an alternative example that happened to me a few weeks ago I walked into a
me a few weeks ago I walked into a
me a few weeks ago I walked into a coffee shop and there were nine people
coffee shop and there were nine people
coffee shop and there were nine people in there and just as we’ve stated all
in there and just as we’ve stated all
in there and just as we’ve stated all nine people were on their phone or their
nine people were on their phone or their
nine people were on their phone or their computer so I walked in and I said you
computer so I walked in and I said you
computer so I walked in and I said you know what my phone’s going in my pocket
know what my phone’s going in my pocket
know what my phone’s going in my pocket I walked straight up to the barista and
I walked straight up to the barista and
I walked straight up to the barista and I said hey Courtney what’s been the best
I said hey Courtney what’s been the best
I said hey Courtney what’s been the best part about your day and she looked up at
part about your day and she looked up at
part about your day and she looked up at you she just goes just startled takes a
you she just goes just startled takes a
you she just goes just startled takes a step back and at this point I’m kind of
step back and at this point I’m kind of
step back and at this point I’m kind of worried for the girl so I leaned in and
worried for the girl so I leaned in and
worried for the girl so I leaned in and I say are are you okay and at this point
I say are are you okay and at this point
I say are are you okay and at this point it’s she’s looking at me like I’m a
it’s she’s looking at me like I’m a
it’s she’s looking at me like I’m a total creeper to begin with to know her
total creeper to begin with to know her
total creeper to begin with to know her name
name
name so she leans in with closed-off body
so she leans in with closed-off body
so she leans in with closed-off body language and says you know my name and
language and says you know my name and
language and says you know my name and I’m startled I take a step back and I
I’m startled I take a step back and I
I’m startled I take a step back and I say Courtney you have a nametag you have
say Courtney you have a nametag you have
say Courtney you have a nametag you have a nametag
a nametag
a nametag and at this point she looked down it in
and at this point she looked down it in
and at this point she looked down it in she said oh you’re right
she said oh you’re right
she said oh you’re right and I’ll never forget this because at
and I’ll never forget this because at
and I’ll never forget this because at this point I realized that it’s not
this point I realized that it’s not
this point I realized that it’s not communication that we’re lacking as
communication that we’re lacking as
communication that we’re lacking as human beings but it’s the human
human beings but it’s the human
human beings but it’s the human connection because Courtney and I for
connection because Courtney and I for
connection because Courtney and I for ten minutes after this spoke about
ten minutes after this spoke about
ten minutes after this spoke about nothing in relation to coffee nothing we
nothing in relation to coffee nothing we
nothing in relation to coffee nothing we spoke about life we spoke about our
spoke about life we spoke about our
spoke about life we spoke about our relationships and at the end of those
relationships and at the end of those
relationships and at the end of those ten minutes she said you know what
ten minutes she said you know what
ten minutes she said you know what Armando best part about my day is
Armando best part about my day is
Armando best part about my day is actually was actually right now just
actually was actually right now just
actually was actually right now just talking to you and she looked at me she
talking to you and she looked at me she
talking to you and she looked at me she said it’s a little sad that I’ve been
said it’s a little sad that I’ve been
said it’s a little sad that I’ve been here for seven hours and this is the
here for seven hours and this is the
here for seven hours and this is the first time someone has called me by name
first time someone has called me by name
first time someone has called me by name first time and she has a nametag and she
first time and she has a nametag and she
first time and she has a nametag and she said you know anything you want on the
said you know anything you want on the
said you know anything you want on the menu it’s on me so I’m thinking all
menu it’s on me so I’m thinking all
menu it’s on me so I’m thinking all right I got a free coffee but more
right I got a free coffee but more
right I got a free coffee but more importantly this girl and I we both made
importantly this girl and I we both made
importantly this girl and I we both made each other’s day
each other’s day
each other’s day but once again who can blame us right
but once again who can blame us right
but once again who can blame us right because we live in a society where we
because we live in a society where we
because we live in a society where we choose to go on social media to talk to
choose to go on social media to talk to
choose to go on social media to talk to random people and we don’t even talk to
random people and we don’t even talk to
random people and we don’t even talk to the people in our own home or what about
the people in our own home or what about
the people in our own home or what about some of us who maybe walk around with
some of us who maybe walk around with
some of us who maybe walk around with smiles on our faces prideful when in
smiles on our faces prideful when in
smiles on our faces prideful when in reality we’re just dying inside asking
reality we’re just dying inside asking
reality we’re just dying inside asking for someone to come help for someone to
for someone to come help for someone to
for someone to come help for someone to be there there was a study done by the
be there there was a study done by the
be there there was a study done by the National Science Foundation from Duke
National Science Foundation from Duke
National Science Foundation from Duke University in the University of Arizona
University in the University of Arizona
University in the University of Arizona and they took 1,500 people from a random
and they took 1,500 people from a random
and they took 1,500 people from a random sample population in the United States
sample population in the United States
sample population in the United States and they wanted to know who they felt
and they wanted to know who they felt
and they wanted to know who they felt like they could talk to so they asked
like they could talk to so they asked
like they could talk to so they asked them a simple question who can you talk
them a simple question who can you talk
them a simple question who can you talk to or who do you feel you can talk to
to or who do you feel you can talk to
to or who do you feel you can talk to you about your successes and your
you about your successes and your
you about your successes and your failures out of 1,500 people 25% of them
failures out of 1,500 people 25% of them
failures out of 1,500 people 25% of them felt as though they had no one to talk
felt as though they had no one to talk
felt as though they had no one to talk to no one and so they decided to take
to no one and so they decided to take
to no one and so they decided to take this a step further and they asked them
this a step further and they asked them
this a step further and they asked them who do you feel you can talk to
who do you feel you can talk to
who do you feel you can talk to excluding your family and when they
excluding your family and when they
excluding your family and when they asked that question that 25% jumped up
asked that question that 25% jumped up
asked that question that 25% jumped up to 50% 50% of people felt as though they
to 50% 50% of people felt as though they
to 50% 50% of people felt as though they had no one to talk to and this as a
had no one to talk to and this as a
had no one to talk to and this as a future health care practitioner is an
future health care practitioner is an
future health care practitioner is an epidemic there is no way that this
epidemic there is no way that this
epidemic there is no way that this should be this way so I started thinking
should be this way so I started thinking
should be this way so I started thinking to myself even after I left the coffee
to myself even after I left the coffee
to myself even after I left the coffee shop how can we solve this how can we
shop how can we solve this how can we
shop how can we solve this how can we think about actually not just getting a
think about actually not just getting a
think about actually not just getting a temporary solution but a permanent one
temporary solution but a permanent one
temporary solution but a permanent one so as I started thinking I started going
so as I started thinking I started going
so as I started thinking I started going back to see how to solve it and I
back to see how to solve it and I
back to see how to solve it and I thought through conversation because we
thought through conversation because we
thought through conversation because we have relationships but how do how does a
have relationships but how do how does a
have relationships but how do how does a relationship start through conversation
relationship start through conversation
relationship start through conversation and so I actually came up with a
and so I actually came up with a
and so I actually came up with a three-step process that I take every
three-step process that I take every
three-step process that I take every conversation on and that’s what I’d like
conversation on and that’s what I’d like
conversation on and that’s what I’d like to take all of you on today so before we
to take all of you on today so before we
to take all of you on today so before we begin on that actually we must know that
begin on that actually we must know that
begin on that actually we must know that every conversation we have is going to
every conversation we have is going to
every conversation we have is going to leave the other person feeling a little
leave the other person feeling a little
leave the other person feeling a little bit better or a little worse and with
bit better or a little worse and with
bit better or a little worse and with Cortney and I we both left each other
Cortney and I we both left each other
Cortney and I we both left each other feeling a heck of a lot better and all
feeling a heck of a lot better and all
feeling a heck of a lot better and all it took was 10 minutes 10 minutes and it
it took was 10 minutes 10 minutes and it
it took was 10 minutes 10 minutes and it cost both of us nothing
cost both of us nothing
cost both of us nothing so a lot of times when we start
so a lot of times when we start
so a lot of times when we start conversations I’m curious to see how we
conversations I’m curious to see how we
conversations I’m curious to see how we feel about this is I have my friends
feel about this is I have my friends
feel about this is I have my friends come up and say hey what’s up man how
come up and say hey what’s up man how
come up and say hey what’s up man how you doing what’s going on and what is
you doing what’s going on and what is
you doing what’s going on and what is this require of me or of us it requires
this require of me or of us it requires
this require of me or of us it requires a thoughtless one-word response my first
a thoughtless one-word response my first
a thoughtless one-word response my first year in college I was asked thousands of
year in college I was asked thousands of
year in college I was asked thousands of times where are you from what’s your
times where are you from what’s your
times where are you from what’s your major it became automatic it became a
major it became automatic it became a
major it became automatic it became a nuisance to talk to people and I see
nuisance to talk to people and I see
nuisance to talk to people and I see people smile and so I’ll take that as we
people smile and so I’ll take that as we
people smile and so I’ll take that as we all in agreement here and so the way I
all in agreement here and so the way I
all in agreement here and so the way I thought we have to start conversations
thought we have to start conversations
thought we have to start conversations differently so then it clicked one day
differently so then it clicked one day
differently so then it clicked one day and the way we should start in the way I
and the way we should start in the way I
and the way we should start in the way I start now is by asking something very
start now is by asking something very
start now is by asking something very simple just what has been the best part
simple just what has been the best part
simple just what has been the best part about your day
about your day
about your day what has been the best part about your
what has been the best part about your
what has been the best part about your day so what does this require people to
day so what does this require people to
day so what does this require people to do this requires first off you’re going
do this requires first off you’re going
do this requires first off you’re going to startle everyone because people don’t
to startle everyone because people don’t
to startle everyone because people don’t start conversations this way secondly
start conversations this way secondly
start conversations this way secondly more often I’ll have people look at me
more often I’ll have people look at me
more often I’ll have people look at me no sir good question what has been the
no sir good question what has been the
no sir good question what has been the best part about my day and they’re even
best part about my day and they’re even
best part about my day and they’re even shocked and I’ve had people look at me
shocked and I’ve had people look at me
shocked and I’ve had people look at me and say you know what Armando best part
and say you know what Armando best part
and say you know what Armando best part was actually having this pizza lunch new
was actually having this pizza lunch new
was actually having this pizza lunch new pizza place right next to work and I’ve
pizza place right next to work and I’ve
pizza place right next to work and I’ve been dying to try it was awesome and I
been dying to try it was awesome and I
been dying to try it was awesome and I had someone else
had someone else
had someone else two weeks ago look at me and say best
two weeks ago look at me and say best
two weeks ago look at me and say best part is I actually was working out of
part is I actually was working out of
part is I actually was working out of the country for the last two weeks and
the country for the last two weeks and
the country for the last two weeks and today I got to see my family for the
today I got to see my family for the
today I got to see my family for the first time in two weeks and it was
first time in two weeks and it was
first time in two weeks and it was amazing how much more did I get from
amazing how much more did I get from
amazing how much more did I get from that then if I just ask someone hey
that then if I just ask someone hey
that then if I just ask someone hey what’s up hey what’s going on and even
what’s up hey what’s going on and even
what’s up hey what’s going on and even more from a physiological standpoint
more from a physiological standpoint
more from a physiological standpoint when you ask someone such a
when you ask someone such a
when you ask someone such a thought-provoking question to begin with
thought-provoking question to begin with
thought-provoking question to begin with and they feel this euphoric feeling
and they feel this euphoric feeling
and they feel this euphoric feeling they’re increasing dopamine in their
they’re increasing dopamine in their
they’re increasing dopamine in their brain which is the neurotransmitter in
brain which is the neurotransmitter in
brain which is the neurotransmitter in charge of your reward centers your
charge of your reward centers your
charge of your reward centers your emotional regulation and your
emotional regulation and your
emotional regulation and your pleasurable centers so they feel happy
pleasurable centers so they feel happy
pleasurable centers so they feel happy they feel good and they have to
they feel good and they have to
they feel good and they have to associate that with something and who
associate that with something and who
associate that with something and who are they going to associate that with
are they going to associate that with
are they going to associate that with they’re going to associate it with you
they’re going to associate it with you
they’re going to associate it with you because you’re the one who asked the
because you’re the one who asked the
because you’re the one who asked the question so now moving on the step
question so now moving on the step
question so now moving on the step number two step number two is where some
number two step number two is where some
number two step number two is where some people can find some contradictions and
people can find some contradictions and
people can find some contradictions and I
I
I like this because I think growing up I
like this because I think growing up I
like this because I think growing up I was always taught to make small talk
was always taught to make small talk
was always taught to make small talk with people go to a networking event and
with people go to a networking event and
with people go to a networking event and look at their badge and say oh this and
look at their badge and say oh this and
look at their badge and say oh this and just just skim briefly about who they
just just skim briefly about who they
just just skim briefly about who they really are ask questions to know but not
really are ask questions to know but not
really are ask questions to know but not questions to understand and you might
questions to understand and you might
questions to understand and you might know that I want to be a physician but
know that I want to be a physician but
know that I want to be a physician but do you understand why I want to be a
do you understand why I want to be a
do you understand why I want to be a physician there’s a difference here and
physician there’s a difference here and
physician there’s a difference here and so for step number two I say ignore
so for step number two I say ignore
so for step number two I say ignore small talk it’s non-existent ignore
small talk it’s non-existent ignore
small talk it’s non-existent ignore small talk and ask open-ended questions
small talk and ask open-ended questions
small talk and ask open-ended questions because when we ask open-ended questions
because when we ask open-ended questions
because when we ask open-ended questions to go back to my previous example of the
to go back to my previous example of the
to go back to my previous example of the guy who told me that he got to see his
guy who told me that he got to see his
guy who told me that he got to see his family for the first time in two weeks
family for the first time in two weeks
family for the first time in two weeks my next question was so tell me about
my next question was so tell me about
my next question was so tell me about your family
your family
your family because when I asked him this and
because when I asked him this and
because when I asked him this and someone asked an open-ended question
someone asked an open-ended question
someone asked an open-ended question they’re not really sure when they’ve
they’re not really sure when they’ve
they’re not really sure when they’ve answered it so they tend to just kind of
answered it so they tend to just kind of
answered it so they tend to just kind of talk and talk and talk and when they
talk and talk and talk and when they
talk and talk and talk and when they talk they give you more information than
talk they give you more information than
talk they give you more information than necessary but if you are listening you
necessary but if you are listening you
necessary but if you are listening you can extrapolate exactly what you need to
can extrapolate exactly what you need to
can extrapolate exactly what you need to continue the conversation and continue a
continue the conversation and continue a
continue the conversation and continue a natural progression so he said you know
natural progression so he said you know
natural progression so he said you know what when I asked him he said I’m
what when I asked him he said I’m
what when I asked him he said I’m excited because I get to see my two sons
excited because I get to see my two sons
excited because I get to see my two sons and we love playing baseball and the
and we love playing baseball and the
and we love playing baseball and the Dodgers are about to start so was my
Dodgers are about to start so was my
Dodgers are about to start so was my next question
next question
next question what are your son’s names tell me about
what are your son’s names tell me about
what are your son’s names tell me about them why do they like baseball and when
them why do they like baseball and when
them why do they like baseball and when I’m trying to get across here is that it
I’m trying to get across here is that it
I’m trying to get across here is that it doesn’t have to be an interview style
doesn’t have to be an interview style
doesn’t have to be an interview style and it doesn’t have to be someone
and it doesn’t have to be someone
and it doesn’t have to be someone looking at you and saying tell me your
looking at you and saying tell me your
looking at you and saying tell me your deepest darkest secret but what it is is
deepest darkest secret but what it is is
deepest darkest secret but what it is is just a natural flow from Step a to step
just a natural flow from Step a to step
just a natural flow from Step a to step B to step C to step D and before they
B to step C to step D and before they
B to step C to step D and before they know it and you know what you’ve both
know it and you know what you’ve both
know it and you know what you’ve both have had such an amazing conversation
have had such an amazing conversation
have had such an amazing conversation that they want nothing else but to stay
that they want nothing else but to stay
that they want nothing else but to stay talking to you and it’s very rare
talking to you and it’s very rare
talking to you and it’s very rare nowadays to have someone help you feel
nowadays to have someone help you feel
nowadays to have someone help you feel valued understood and loved so when you
valued understood and loved so when you
valued understood and loved so when you can help someone feel this I’m telling
can help someone feel this I’m telling
can help someone feel this I’m telling you they will move mountains for you
you they will move mountains for you
you they will move mountains for you mountains and now for the third step and
mountains and now for the third step and
mountains and now for the third step and this one is where I was struggling a
this one is where I was struggling a
this one is where I was struggling a little because as I meet more people I
little because as I meet more people I
little because as I meet more people I forget people’s names I’m not great with
forget people’s names I’m not great with
forget people’s names I’m not great with names I’m not great with sometimes
names I’m not great with sometimes
names I’m not great with sometimes remember
remember
remember little details maybe they told me their
little details maybe they told me their
little details maybe they told me their son’s birthday and I probably forgot it
son’s birthday and I probably forgot it
son’s birthday and I probably forgot it right after the conversation so I
right after the conversation so I
right after the conversation so I thought how am I going to come up with a
thought how am I going to come up with a
thought how am I going to come up with a system to remember people so what I did
system to remember people so what I did
system to remember people so what I did is I actually take my phone out at the
is I actually take my phone out at the
is I actually take my phone out at the end of every conversation and I will
end of every conversation and I will
end of every conversation and I will just go on my voice recorder and I’ll
just go on my voice recorder and I’ll
just go on my voice recorder and I’ll regurgitate everything I remember from
regurgitate everything I remember from
regurgitate everything I remember from the conversation so for example if I
the conversation so for example if I
the conversation so for example if I meet someone today by the name of Todd
meet someone today by the name of Todd
meet someone today by the name of Todd I’ll go on my phone and I say Todd TEDx
I’ll go on my phone and I say Todd TEDx
I’ll go on my phone and I say Todd TEDx youth Alamitos Bay March 25th has a wife
youth Alamitos Bay March 25th has a wife
youth Alamitos Bay March 25th has a wife to marry for 27 years has two kids
to marry for 27 years has two kids
to marry for 27 years has two kids one is in elementary school the other
one is in elementary school the other
one is in elementary school the other one’s in high school these were their
one’s in high school these were their
one’s in high school these were their names is worried because daughter
names is worried because daughter
names is worried because daughter doesn’t work she’s going to college but
doesn’t work she’s going to college but
doesn’t work she’s going to college but they’re going on vacation in three weeks
they’re going on vacation in three weeks
they’re going on vacation in three weeks and so I think we get the picture here
and so I think we get the picture here
and so I think we get the picture here that I’ll record that are recorded in my
that I’ll record that are recorded in my
that I’ll record that are recorded in my phone save it in my computer under a
phone save it in my computer under a
phone save it in my computer under a file whose name is just simply Todd TEDx
file whose name is just simply Todd TEDx
file whose name is just simply Todd TEDx so next time I might meet Todd I’ll go
so next time I might meet Todd I’ll go
so next time I might meet Todd I’ll go on my computer listen to this file a few
on my computer listen to this file a few
on my computer listen to this file a few times and I will continue the
times and I will continue the
times and I will continue the conversation with this guy the exact
conversation with this guy the exact
conversation with this guy the exact same place that I left it days weeks or
same place that I left it days weeks or
same place that I left it days weeks or months ago and I’m telling you I’ve had
months ago and I’m telling you I’ve had
months ago and I’m telling you I’ve had people look at me and say I never told
people look at me and say I never told
people look at me and say I never told you that how do you know that about me
you that how do you know that about me
you that how do you know that about me and I only told me last time oh yeah
and I only told me last time oh yeah
and I only told me last time oh yeah you’re right you’re right and I’ve had
you’re right you’re right and I’ve had
you’re right you’re right and I’ve had people look at me and say wow you have a
people look at me and say wow you have a
people look at me and say wow you have a great memory you must do great in school
great memory you must do great in school
great memory you must do great in school and it’s like a great memory I just do
and it’s like a great memory I just do
and it’s like a great memory I just do something a little bit different that
something a little bit different that
something a little bit different that people don’t do I have dozens of files
people don’t do I have dozens of files
people don’t do I have dozens of files on my computer of people that I meet and
on my computer of people that I meet and
on my computer of people that I meet and it allows for us to create this sort of
it allows for us to create this sort of
it allows for us to create this sort of reciprocity in the best example I can
reciprocity in the best example I can
reciprocity in the best example I can also give with this is when dating
also give with this is when dating
also give with this is when dating someone I think a lot of times we try to
someone I think a lot of times we try to
someone I think a lot of times we try to put our best foot up front right at the
put our best foot up front right at the
put our best foot up front right at the beginning right at the beginning we’re
beginning right at the beginning we’re
beginning right at the beginning we’re opening doors we’re doing everything we
opening doors we’re doing everything we
opening doors we’re doing everything we possibly can to appear in this picture
possibly can to appear in this picture
possibly can to appear in this picture perfer perfect image but as time goes on
perfer perfect image but as time goes on
perfer perfect image but as time goes on we forget that we did these things we
we forget that we did these things we
we forget that we did these things we forget that this is what helped us fall
forget that this is what helped us fall
forget that this is what helped us fall in love to begin with so something that
in love to begin with so something that
in love to begin with so something that I did and even with my current
I did and even with my current
I did and even with my current relationship as I recorded everything
relationship as I recorded everything
relationship as I recorded everything this woman said and I have files on her
this woman said and I have files on her
this woman said and I have files on her because I can go and I can say okay this
because I can go and I can say okay this
because I can go and I can say okay this is what she likes three years down the
is what she likes three years down the
is what she likes three years down the road
road
road this is not this is not what she likes
this is not this is not what she likes
this is not this is not what she likes so don’t do this Armando or like this is
so don’t do this Armando or like this is
so don’t do this Armando or like this is perfect so let’s go over here don’t step
perfect so let’s go over here don’t step
perfect so let’s go over here don’t step in this boundary because you know how
in this boundary because you know how
in this boundary because you know how she’s going to get and so it it becomes
she’s going to get and so it it becomes
she’s going to get and so it it becomes it becomes a tactic and seeing someone
it becomes a tactic and seeing someone
it becomes a tactic and seeing someone so happy and so overjoyed and you’re the
so happy and so overjoyed and you’re the
so happy and so overjoyed and you’re the person who brought that feeling to them
person who brought that feeling to them
person who brought that feeling to them is something that nothing else can do
is something that nothing else can do
is something that nothing else can do I’ve had great grades I’ve had great
I’ve had great grades I’ve had great
I’ve had great grades I’ve had great test scores and I’m telling you at the
test scores and I’m telling you at the
test scores and I’m telling you at the end of the day everyone a lot of people
end of the day everyone a lot of people
end of the day everyone a lot of people I know have great accolades but can they
I know have great accolades but can they
I know have great accolades but can they make someone feel so special to the
make someone feel so special to the
make someone feel so special to the point that they’re going to want to stay
point that they’re going to want to stay
point that they’re going to want to stay there so at the end of the day why
there so at the end of the day why
there so at the end of the day why should we care about conversations and
should we care about conversations and
should we care about conversations and I’ll tell you we should care because the
I’ll tell you we should care because the
I’ll tell you we should care because the world revolves around relationships and
world revolves around relationships and
world revolves around relationships and relationships start with conversation
relationships start with conversation
relationships start with conversation once again if my friend wants to ask the
once again if my friend wants to ask the
once again if my friend wants to ask the pretty girl out he’s got to find a way
pretty girl out he’s got to find a way
pretty girl out he’s got to find a way to persuade her as to why he’s the best
to persuade her as to why he’s the best
to persuade her as to why he’s the best candidate if I have another friend who
candidate if I have another friend who
candidate if I have another friend who wants to ask their boss for a raise how
wants to ask their boss for a raise how
wants to ask their boss for a raise how are they going to do that they’re going
are they going to do that they’re going
are they going to do that they’re going to try to find their boss at the best
to try to find their boss at the best
to try to find their boss at the best moment best moment why ask their boss on
moment best moment why ask their boss on
moment best moment why ask their boss on a bad day and people don’t understand
a bad day and people don’t understand
a bad day and people don’t understand this and so when you do these things
this and so when you do these things
this and so when you do these things things align to what has been the best
things align to what has been the best
things align to what has been the best part of your day to having a natural
part of your day to having a natural
part of your day to having a natural progression and a natural flow to
progression and a natural flow to
progression and a natural flow to recording so that at the end you know
recording so that at the end you know
recording so that at the end you know exactly who that person is and you
exactly who that person is and you
exactly who that person is and you understand them more importantly only
understand them more importantly only
understand them more importantly only then will our life be truly transformed
then will our life be truly transformed
then will our life be truly transformed so once again I’d like for all of us to
so once again I’d like for all of us to
so once again I’d like for all of us to remember to treat every conversation
remember to treat every conversation
remember to treat every conversation like a first date thank you very much
like a first date thank you very much
like a first date thank you very much [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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