I first met Darius and Jaden in the dark corner of a dimly lit gas station
corner of a dimly lit gas station
corner of a dimly lit gas station parking lot in the middle of the night
parking lot in the middle of the night
parking lot in the middle of the night it was a sticky hot summer evening and
it was a sticky hot summer evening and
it was a sticky hot summer evening and after I turned off my car it felt like
after I turned off my car it felt like
after I turned off my car it felt like it was just me in the thick summer air
it was just me in the thick summer air
it was just me in the thick summer air for miles it was well after any child’s
for miles it was well after any child’s
for miles it was well after any child’s reasonable bedtime yet Here I am
reasonable bedtime yet Here I am
reasonable bedtime yet Here I am to meet these three and eight-year-old
to meet these three and eight-year-old
to meet these three and eight-year-old brothers for the first time and take
brothers for the first time and take
brothers for the first time and take them far away to a foster home hours
them far away to a foster home hours
them far away to a foster home hours away from their parents from whom they
away from their parents from whom they
away from their parents from whom they were just removed two women pull up in a
were just removed two women pull up in a
were just removed two women pull up in a car we shake hands exchange pleasantries
car we shake hands exchange pleasantries
car we shake hands exchange pleasantries and then we moved the groggy children to
and then we moved the groggy children to
and then we moved the groggy children to my car in borrowed car seats one woman
my car in borrowed car seats one woman
my car in borrowed car seats one woman pulls up Darius’s shirt to show me a
pulls up Darius’s shirt to show me a
pulls up Darius’s shirt to show me a port where he receives tubal nutrition I
port where he receives tubal nutrition I
port where he receives tubal nutrition I have no experience with tubal feeding
have no experience with tubal feeding
have no experience with tubal feeding and he requires ready regular medication
and he requires ready regular medication
and he requires ready regular medication through it but the women don’t know if
through it but the women don’t know if
through it but the women don’t know if he’s received tonight’s dose a heavy
he’s received tonight’s dose a heavy
he’s received tonight’s dose a heavy case of baby formula is placed in my
case of baby formula is placed in my
case of baby formula is placed in my trunk my car bounces under the new wait
trunk my car bounces under the new wait
trunk my car bounces under the new wait I hear the lid thuds shut two garbage
I hear the lid thuds shut two garbage
I hear the lid thuds shut two garbage bags full of clothing are thrown into my
bags full of clothing are thrown into my
bags full of clothing are thrown into my passenger seat
passenger seat
passenger seat the boys rouse and whimper looking
the boys rouse and whimper looking
the boys rouse and whimper looking around into the still night less than
around into the still night less than
around into the still night less than ten minutes after we meet our cars are
ten minutes after we meet our cars are
ten minutes after we meet our cars are already headed in opposite directions
already headed in opposite directions
already headed in opposite directions again with my new precious cargo I
again with my new precious cargo I
again with my new precious cargo I travel over an hour away to take these
travel over an hour away to take these
travel over an hour away to take these children to a foster mother’s home I
children to a foster mother’s home I
children to a foster mother’s home I work with her to calm them down and put
work with her to calm them down and put
work with her to calm them down and put them to bed in the morning the foster
them to bed in the morning the foster
them to bed in the morning the foster mother finds Jarius curled up very
mother finds Jarius curled up very
mother finds Jarius curled up very tightly on the end of his bed on top of
tightly on the end of his bed on top of
tightly on the end of his bed on top of all of the blankets as the brothers wake
all of the blankets as the brothers wake
all of the blankets as the brothers wake up and get acclimated the foster mother
up and get acclimated the foster mother
up and get acclimated the foster mother makes another discovery
makes another discovery
makes another discovery these black children are terrified of
these black children are terrified of
these black children are terrified of white people all white people on top of
white people all white people on top of
white people all white people on top of a middle-of-the-night move these
a middle-of-the-night move these
a middle-of-the-night move these brothers who had only known city living
brothers who had only known city living
brothers who had only known city living were removed from their parents and
were removed from their parents and
were removed from their parents and place into the care of two white social
place into the care of two white social
place into the care of two white social workers who placed them in my care who
workers who placed them in my care who
workers who placed them in my care who drove them far away to stay with a
drove them far away to stay with a
drove them far away to stay with a single white woman in her rural home
I first met Shannon when she was having
I first met Shannon when she was having the worst three hours of her life I’m
the worst three hours of her life I’m
the worst three hours of her life I’m sitting around a table under fluorescent
sitting around a table under fluorescent
sitting around a table under fluorescent lighting myself and half a dozen other
lighting myself and half a dozen other
lighting myself and half a dozen other social workers and therapists look on as
social workers and therapists look on as
social workers and therapists look on as this mother of three hangs her head and
this mother of three hangs her head and
this mother of three hangs her head and stops she says I love them so much I
stops she says I love them so much I
stops she says I love them so much I just don’t think I can do it I don’t
just don’t think I can do it I don’t
just don’t think I can do it I don’t have the strength her long tangled brown
have the strength her long tangled brown
have the strength her long tangled brown hair sways as she heaves into the
hair sways as she heaves into the
hair sways as she heaves into the otherwise silent room shannon has just
otherwise silent room shannon has just
otherwise silent room shannon has just been told she’s being granted one more
been told she’s being granted one more
been told she’s being granted one more chance to stabilize so that her children
chance to stabilize so that her children
chance to stabilize so that her children can come home instead of being separated
can come home instead of being separated
can come home instead of being separated into different foster homes as they are
into different foster homes as they are
into different foster homes as they are now one more rehab stint one more chance
now one more rehab stint one more chance
now one more rehab stint one more chance to get and stay clean her children’s
to get and stay clean her children’s
to get and stay clean her children’s future hangs thick in the air besides
future hangs thick in the air besides
future hangs thick in the air besides Shannon sits her boyfriend who is also
Shannon sits her boyfriend who is also
Shannon sits her boyfriend who is also her drug dealer
her drug dealer
her drug dealer she stays with him because otherwise
she stays with him because otherwise
she stays with him because otherwise she’d be homeless and without any form
she’d be homeless and without any form
she’d be homeless and without any form of family she knows he keeps her
of family she knows he keeps her
of family she knows he keeps her addicted we all know and so here she
addicted we all know and so here she
addicted we all know and so here she finds herself her children scattered
finds herself her children scattered
finds herself her children scattered within a 50 mile radius of this room one
within a 50 mile radius of this room one
within a 50 mile radius of this room one person speaks up and mentions that
person speaks up and mentions that
person speaks up and mentions that there’s a warrant out for the
there’s a warrant out for the
there’s a warrant out for the boyfriend’s arrest he makes a hasty exit
boyfriend’s arrest he makes a hasty exit
boyfriend’s arrest he makes a hasty exit none of us are surprised or even
none of us are surprised or even
none of us are surprised or even acknowledge his leaving Shannon stares
acknowledge his leaving Shannon stares
acknowledge his leaving Shannon stares at the table her eyes are red from
at the table her eyes are red from
at the table her eyes are red from crying her hands are twisted up in a
crying her hands are twisted up in a
crying her hands are twisted up in a Kleenex in her lap her therapist gently
Kleenex in her lap her therapist gently
Kleenex in her lap her therapist gently tries to encourage her reminding her how
tries to encourage her reminding her how
tries to encourage her reminding her how many of us are behind her cheering for
many of us are behind her cheering for
many of us are behind her cheering for wanting to see her succeed we feel the
wanting to see her succeed we feel the
wanting to see her succeed we feel the weight of the responsibility of the
weight of the responsibility of the
weight of the responsibility of the decision she’s about to make we feel her
decision she’s about to make we feel her
decision she’s about to make we feel her hopelessness her fear of failure and
hopelessness her fear of failure and
hopelessness her fear of failure and understanding full well the consequences
understanding full well the consequences
understanding full well the consequences of that failure it’s a bright spring
of that failure it’s a bright spring
of that failure it’s a bright spring morning I’m sitting in a straight back
morning I’m sitting in a straight back
morning I’m sitting in a straight back to dining room chair staring down into
to dining room chair staring down into
to dining room chair staring down into the face of a brand new baby girl I
the face of a brand new baby girl I
the face of a brand new baby girl I breathe in the wonder of this newborn
breathe in the wonder of this newborn
breathe in the wonder of this newborn special needs twin a little girl his
special needs twin a little girl his
special needs twin a little girl his mother didn’t even know she existed
mother didn’t even know she existed
mother didn’t even know she existed beside her brother until just before
beside her brother until just before
beside her brother until just before they’re premature delivery across the
they’re premature delivery across the
they’re premature delivery across the room her brothers and the loving arms of
room her brothers and the loving arms of
room her brothers and the loving arms of his foster mother who is feeding him in
his foster mother who is feeding him in
his foster mother who is feeding him in the very tedious way his special needs
the very tedious way his special needs
the very tedious way his special needs require the gray bars went from a family
require the gray bars went from a family
require the gray bars went from a family of four to a family of eight when they
of four to a family of eight when they
of four to a family of eight when they took in these special needs twins and
took in these special needs twins and
took in these special needs twins and their two-year-old special needs
their two-year-old special needs
their two-year-old special needs siblings the graters can only do this
siblings the graters can only do this
siblings the graters can only do this because of logistical and emotional
because of logistical and emotional
because of logistical and emotional support given from family friends and
support given from family friends and
support given from family friends and community in the first few months an
community in the first few months an
community in the first few months an elderly couple from the gravest church
elderly couple from the gravest church
elderly couple from the gravest church came over one night a week to stay up
came over one night a week to stay up
came over one night a week to stay up with the babies and feed them so that
with the babies and feed them so that
with the babies and feed them so that the graters could get sleep and better
the graters could get sleep and better
the graters could get sleep and better care for all the children’s needs the
care for all the children’s needs the
care for all the children’s needs the next day the grandma would come over in
next day the grandma would come over in
next day the grandma would come over in her muumuu and her slippers and she
her muumuu and her slippers and she
her muumuu and her slippers and she would happily stay attentive all night
would happily stay attentive all night
would happily stay attentive all night what an incredible gift to give to a
what an incredible gift to give to a
what an incredible gift to give to a family that is exhausted and stretched
family that is exhausted and stretched
family that is exhausted and stretched others brought over meals mowed the lawn
others brought over meals mowed the lawn
others brought over meals mowed the lawn even offered to babysit so that the
even offered to babysit so that the
even offered to babysit so that the foster mother could get a shower and run
foster mother could get a shower and run
foster mother could get a shower and run errands yes you heard me right so she
errands yes you heard me right so she
errands yes you heard me right so she could take a shower because when you’re
could take a shower because when you’re
could take a shower because when you’re taking care of four children ages two
taking care of four children ages two
taking care of four children ages two and under there’s not a second to spare
and under there’s not a second to spare
and under there’s not a second to spare to get away and take a shower unless
to get away and take a shower unless
to get away and take a shower unless somebody’s helping you Johan galtung
somebody’s helping you Johan galtung
somebody’s helping you Johan galtung introduced the world to peace not just
introduced the world to peace not just
introduced the world to peace not just the peace
the peace
the peace there’s the absence attention but
there’s the absence attention but
there’s the absence attention but positive peace a place where equity and
positive peace a place where equity and
positive peace a place where equity and harmony exist galtung defines harmony as
harmony exist galtung defines harmony as
harmony exist galtung defines harmony as the ability or willingness to suffer the
the ability or willingness to suffer the
the ability or willingness to suffer the suffering of others and enjoy the joy of
suffering of others and enjoy the joy of
suffering of others and enjoy the joy of others later dr. Martin Luther King jr.
others later dr. Martin Luther King jr.
others later dr. Martin Luther King jr. and his letters from a Birmingham jail
and his letters from a Birmingham jail
and his letters from a Birmingham jail goes on to define positive peace as a
goes on to define positive peace as a
goes on to define positive peace as a presence of justice there is much
presence of justice there is much
presence of justice there is much injustice that pulls on our energy today
injustice that pulls on our energy today
injustice that pulls on our energy today there are many countless worthy causes
creating harmony and communities
creating harmony and communities neighborhoods regionally and globally is
neighborhoods regionally and globally is
neighborhoods regionally and globally is the goal of many a nonprofit church and
the goal of many a nonprofit church and
the goal of many a nonprofit church and civil servant but I beg you consider
civil servant but I beg you consider
civil servant but I beg you consider this can we ever consider ourselves a
this can we ever consider ourselves a
this can we ever consider ourselves a peaceful country when an addicted loving
peaceful country when an addicted loving
peaceful country when an addicted loving single mother’s own
single mother’s own
single mother’s own a daily support is her drug-dealing
a daily support is her drug-dealing
a daily support is her drug-dealing boyfriend can we ever consider ourselves
boyfriend can we ever consider ourselves
boyfriend can we ever consider ourselves a peaceful country when children are
a peaceful country when children are
a peaceful country when children are removed from their parents in the middle
removed from their parents in the middle
removed from their parents in the middle of the night and taken hours away
of the night and taken hours away
of the night and taken hours away because there’s no foster home available
because there’s no foster home available
because there’s no foster home available in their neighborhood can we ever
in their neighborhood can we ever
in their neighborhood can we ever consider ourselves a peaceful country
consider ourselves a peaceful country
consider ourselves a peaceful country when siblings are separated from each
when siblings are separated from each
when siblings are separated from each other for weeks months years because no
other for weeks months years because no
other for weeks months years because no foster family is well enough supported
foster family is well enough supported
foster family is well enough supported to be able to take in all of those
to be able to take in all of those
to be able to take in all of those children at the same time when the wars
children at the same time when the wars
children at the same time when the wars are lost or won when the angry voices
are lost or won when the angry voices
are lost or won when the angry voices are quenched when enemies become allies
are quenched when enemies become allies
are quenched when enemies become allies there is still work to be done my
there is still work to be done my
there is still work to be done my children grew up in expensive car seats
children grew up in expensive car seats
children grew up in expensive car seats with the highest safety ratings they
with the highest safety ratings they
with the highest safety ratings they have not only clean clothes but too many
have not only clean clothes but too many
have not only clean clothes but too many clothes and yet another set of clothes
clothes and yet another set of clothes
clothes and yet another set of clothes just for dress-up I monitor not just
just for dress-up I monitor not just
just for dress-up I monitor not just their scholastic progression but their
their scholastic progression but their
their scholastic progression but their emotional reaction to peers and their
emotional reaction to peers and their
emotional reaction to peers and their sense of self-worth and while I’m doing
sense of self-worth and while I’m doing
sense of self-worth and while I’m doing this parenting down the street there’s a
this parenting down the street there’s a
this parenting down the street there’s a young woman in her 14th foster home a
young woman in her 14th foster home a
young woman in her 14th foster home a young woman who grew up in borrowed and
young woman who grew up in borrowed and
young woman who grew up in borrowed and filthy car seats a young woman who has
filthy car seats a young woman who has
filthy car seats a young woman who has no reason to believe that the adults who
no reason to believe that the adults who
no reason to believe that the adults who smile at her when she first walked
smile at her when she first walked
smile at her when she first walked through their door
through their door
through their door are actually willing to walk with her
are actually willing to walk with her
are actually willing to walk with her she processes her painful past a young
she processes her painful past a young
she processes her painful past a young woman who fully understands people and
woman who fully understands people and
woman who fully understands people and places get paid to take care of her our
places get paid to take care of her our
places get paid to take care of her our collective children are not commodities
collective children are not commodities
collective children are not commodities they are not resource suckers our
they are not resource suckers our
they are not resource suckers our children deserve justice the best care
children deserve justice the best care
children deserve justice the best care not just physical needs met but mental
not just physical needs met but mental
not just physical needs met but mental emotional scholastic spiritual our
emotional scholastic spiritual our
emotional scholastic spiritual our children deserve the best care not
children deserve the best care not
children deserve the best care not because of what they may become or what
because of what they may become or what
because of what they may become or what they may one day be able to give back
they may one day be able to give back
they may one day be able to give back our children deserve the best because
our children deserve the best because
our children deserve the best because they have inherent worth they are worthy
they have inherent worth they are worthy
they have inherent worth they are worthy because they are here their behaviors
because they are here their behaviors
because they are here their behaviors their words their medical needs the size
their words their medical needs the size
their words their medical needs the size of their families these things do not
of their families these things do not
of their families these things do not always make them easy to care for
always make them easy to care for
always make them easy to care for or love or seem worthy of our best but
or love or seem worthy of our best but
or love or seem worthy of our best but it is not his job
it is not his job
it is not his job to seem worthy of our best it is our job
to seem worthy of our best it is our job
to seem worthy of our best it is our job to see the injustice and do something
to see the injustice and do something
to see the injustice and do something about it
about it
about it our country will experience positive
our country will experience positive
our country will experience positive peace when a motivated mother can reach
peace when a motivated mother can reach
peace when a motivated mother can reach out and find connection in her community
out and find connection in her community
out and find connection in her community and does it have to depend on a drug
and does it have to depend on a drug
and does it have to depend on a drug dealer for housing and family our
dealer for housing and family our
dealer for housing and family our country will experience positive peace
country will experience positive peace
country will experience positive peace when there are safe and stable foster
when there are safe and stable foster
when there are safe and stable foster homes available in every type of
homes available in every type of
homes available in every type of neighborhood and community our country
neighborhood and community our country
neighborhood and community our country will experience positive peace when
will experience positive peace when
will experience positive peace when children from hard places and big
children from hard places and big
children from hard places and big sibling groups are able to be placed
sibling groups are able to be placed
sibling groups are able to be placed together in one foster home because that
together in one foster home because that
together in one foster home because that foster family is abundantly supported by
foster family is abundantly supported by
foster family is abundantly supported by family friends and community I dream of
family friends and community I dream of
family friends and community I dream of a world where children are not exchanged
a world where children are not exchanged
a world where children are not exchanged in dark corners of gas station parking
in dark corners of gas station parking
in dark corners of gas station parking lots I dream of a world where essential
lots I dream of a world where essential
lots I dream of a world where essential connections are made and hope is
connections are made and hope is
connections are made and hope is restored to those who hide in shame
restored to those who hide in shame
restored to those who hide in shame among us where those who have extend
among us where those who have extend
among us where those who have extend mercy and flexibility your skills your
mercy and flexibility your skills your
mercy and flexibility your skills your talents your aspirations your
talents your aspirations your
talents your aspirations your experiences your personality is needed
experiences your personality is needed
experiences your personality is needed and maybe just maybe someday you’ll be
and maybe just maybe someday you’ll be
and maybe just maybe someday you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren I was
able to tell your grandchildren I was
able to tell your grandchildren I was there I stood up I was counted among the
there I stood up I was counted among the
there I stood up I was counted among the peacemakers in my community in my
peacemakers in my community in my
peacemakers in my community in my neighborhood thank
neighborhood thank
neighborhood thank [Applause]
”
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