human beings are social creatures our very existence is defined by the
very existence is defined by the
very existence is defined by the connections that we make our five senses
connections that we make our five senses
connections that we make our five senses engage and allow us to discern to pause
engage and allow us to discern to pause
engage and allow us to discern to pause and reflect and through these mechanisms
and reflect and through these mechanisms
and reflect and through these mechanisms we connect with each other so ability to
we connect with each other so ability to
we connect with each other so ability to effectively communicate essentially
effectively communicate essentially
effectively communicate essentially forms the foundation of healthy
forms the foundation of healthy
forms the foundation of healthy communication so let’s take a journey
communication so let’s take a journey
communication so let’s take a journey together and see how communication
together and see how communication
together and see how communication evolved and how technology shaped that
evolved and how technology shaped that
evolved and how technology shaped that and where we are headed so for the for
and where we are headed so for the for
and where we are headed so for the for almost a millennia we’ve had the ability
almost a millennia we’ve had the ability
almost a millennia we’ve had the ability to practice and perfect the art of
to practice and perfect the art of
to practice and perfect the art of direct communication we’ve engaged our
direct communication we’ve engaged our
direct communication we’ve engaged our senses depending on the situation
senses depending on the situation
senses depending on the situation for example the eye to eye contact that
for example the eye to eye contact that
for example the eye to eye contact that we talked about a hug from a friend that
we talked about a hug from a friend that
we talked about a hug from a friend that you haven’t met in a long time and a
you haven’t met in a long time and a
you haven’t met in a long time and a kiss from a loved one at the end of a
kiss from a loved one at the end of a
kiss from a loved one at the end of a long day we have curriculum designed to
long day we have curriculum designed to
long day we have curriculum designed to help us perfect that art now let’s fast
help us perfect that art now let’s fast
help us perfect that art now let’s fast forward to about a hundred and forty
forward to about a hundred and forty
forward to about a hundred and forty years ago we invented the telephone and
years ago we invented the telephone and
years ago we invented the telephone and so what we did is we inserted this inert
so what we did is we inserted this inert
so what we did is we inserted this inert object in between the two participants
object in between the two participants
object in between the two participants what we did with that is we stripped out
what we did with that is we stripped out
what we did with that is we stripped out four of our senses and we had to rely on
four of our senses and we had to rely on
four of our senses and we had to rely on our sense of hearing to achieve the same
our sense of hearing to achieve the same
our sense of hearing to achieve the same outcome and we learnt to listen to the
outcome and we learnt to listen to the
outcome and we learnt to listen to the tone of the conversation we learnt to
tone of the conversation we learnt to
tone of the conversation we learnt to listen pay attention to the words so
listen pay attention to the words so
listen pay attention to the words so that we could make the most of out of
that we could make the most of out of
that we could make the most of out of that communication the benefits were
that communication the benefits were
that communication the benefits were great right reach availability but the
great right reach availability but the
great right reach availability but the outcome wasn’t quite the same now
outcome wasn’t quite the same now
outcome wasn’t quite the same now forward again
forward again
forward again fast-forward again to about 15 years ago
fast-forward again to about 15 years ago
fast-forward again to about 15 years ago not only did we have this inert object
not only did we have this inert object
not only did we have this inert object in bed
in bed
in bed between the participants we also started
between the participants we also started
between the participants we also started relying on interfaces like applications
relying on interfaces like applications
relying on interfaces like applications and websites that came along with it and
and websites that came along with it and
and websites that came along with it and so now there was no need for any of our
so now there was no need for any of our
so now there was no need for any of our senses to engage directly in the
senses to engage directly in the
senses to engage directly in the conversation huge benefits right how
conversation huge benefits right how
conversation huge benefits right how many of you would prefer to send a text
many of you would prefer to send a text
many of you would prefer to send a text message was is actually taking that
message was is actually taking that
message was is actually taking that phone and making that call so we dived
phone and making that call so we dived
phone and making that call so we dived right in we took the plunge we embraced
right in we took the plunge we embraced
right in we took the plunge we embraced the benefits and what we’re seeing is
the benefits and what we’re seeing is
the benefits and what we’re seeing is that although the act of communication
that although the act of communication
that although the act of communication has tremendously increased in one second
has tremendously increased in one second
has tremendously increased in one second alone more than a quarter million text
alone more than a quarter million text
alone more than a quarter million text messages are sent so although this act
messages are sent so although this act
messages are sent so although this act of communication has increased
of communication has increased
of communication has increased exponentially the outcome is missing
exponentially the outcome is missing
exponentially the outcome is missing something the authenticity the depth the
something the authenticity the depth the
something the authenticity the depth the meaningful mindful conversation is not
meaningful mindful conversation is not
meaningful mindful conversation is not quite there in these digital
quite there in these digital
quite there in these digital conversations and my own personal
conversations and my own personal
conversations and my own personal experience when interacting with either
experience when interacting with either
experience when interacting with either an individual or a group of people
helped me experience that stock contrast
helped me experience that stock contrast it was the same set of people doing the
it was the same set of people doing the
it was the same set of people doing the same act of communication and yet when
same act of communication and yet when
same act of communication and yet when we engaged in these digital
we engaged in these digital
we engaged in these digital conversations there were some strange
conversations there were some strange
conversations there were some strange behaviors that were walling that
behaviors that were walling that
behaviors that were walling that sometimes led to unexpected or even
sometimes led to unexpected or even
sometimes led to unexpected or even undesirable outcomes and that got me
undesirable outcomes and that got me
undesirable outcomes and that got me intrigued why it led me down the path to
intrigued why it led me down the path to
intrigued why it led me down the path to explore more to this talk today because
explore more to this talk today because
explore more to this talk today because what I realized is that not only did we
what I realized is that not only did we
what I realized is that not only did we disengage our five senses but we
disengage our five senses but we
disengage our five senses but we substituted it with an electronic sense
substituted it with an electronic sense
substituted it with an electronic sense or an e sense of connection any sense
or an e sense of connection any sense
or an e sense of connection any sense that relies on the limited capabilities
that relies on the limited capabilities
that relies on the limited capabilities of an inert device and the interfaces
of an inert device and the interfaces
of an inert device and the interfaces that it provides any sense
that it provides any sense
that it provides any sense that tries and fails to mimic the
that tries and fails to mimic the
that tries and fails to mimic the richness that comes with engaging our
richness that comes with engaging our
richness that comes with engaging our five senses any sense that has no
five senses any sense that has no
five senses any sense that has no knowledge of the learning that we have
knowledge of the learning that we have
knowledge of the learning that we have along the way on the traits of effective
along the way on the traits of effective
along the way on the traits of effective communication and thus a sense allows us
communication and thus a sense allows us
communication and thus a sense allows us to evolve and embrace the benefits of
to evolve and embrace the benefits of
to evolve and embrace the benefits of technology but it prevents us from
technology but it prevents us from
technology but it prevents us from engaging in meaningful and mindful
engaging in meaningful and mindful
engaging in meaningful and mindful conversations and this e sense manifests
conversations and this e sense manifests
conversations and this e sense manifests itself in many ways and thus it shapes
itself in many ways and thus it shapes
itself in many ways and thus it shapes our day-to-day lives let’s take a few
our day-to-day lives let’s take a few
our day-to-day lives let’s take a few examples our children so I’m standing
examples our children so I’m standing
examples our children so I’m standing here today and I’m able to make a case
here today and I’m able to make a case
here today and I’m able to make a case for the pros and cons I’m able to
for the pros and cons I’m able to
for the pros and cons I’m able to differentiate but children today they
differentiate but children today they
differentiate but children today they spend majority of their time engaged in
spend majority of their time engaged in
spend majority of their time engaged in digital conversations they’re always on
digital conversations they’re always on
digital conversations they’re always on they’re always connected but they want
they’re always connected but they want
they’re always connected but they want just the right amount of conversations
just the right amount of conversations
just the right amount of conversations they’re not able to sort of see the
they’re not able to sort of see the
they’re not able to sort of see the benefits firsthand because they don’t
benefits firsthand because they don’t
benefits firsthand because they don’t sit down and have those in-depth
sit down and have those in-depth
sit down and have those in-depth conversations face-to-face and that’s
conversations face-to-face and that’s
conversations face-to-face and that’s unhealthy women as we train ourselves to
unhealthy women as we train ourselves to
unhealthy women as we train ourselves to exhibit certain behaviors that becomes
exhibit certain behaviors that becomes
exhibit certain behaviors that becomes our reflex and we’re spending a lot of
our reflex and we’re spending a lot of
our reflex and we’re spending a lot of time with these digital devices and
time with these digital devices and
time with these digital devices and digital environments if you observe some
digital environments if you observe some
digital environments if you observe some of the home automated systems or your
of the home automated systems or your
of the home automated systems or your vehicles or avatars or video games there
vehicles or avatars or video games there
vehicles or avatars or video games there are feminine qualities that are being
are feminine qualities that are being
are feminine qualities that are being depicted through these mediums that have
depicted through these mediums that have
depicted through these mediums that have no senses that have no feelings so in a
no senses that have no feelings so in a
no senses that have no feelings so in a day when you’re super frustrated you
day when you’re super frustrated you
day when you’re super frustrated you could go home and yell at your home
could go home and yell at your home
could go home and yell at your home automation system and the response is
automation system and the response is
automation system and the response is going to be very calm consistent and in
going to be very calm consistent and in
going to be very calm consistent and in some cases subservient and as you build
some cases subservient and as you build
some cases subservient and as you build this muscle that your behavior somehow
this muscle that your behavior somehow
this muscle that your behavior somehow is acceptable because you’re not getting
is acceptable because you’re not getting
is acceptable because you’re not getting feedback the lines start to blur and you
feedback the lines start to blur and you
feedback the lines start to blur and you start exhibiting this behavior outside
start exhibiting this behavior outside
start exhibiting this behavior outside to a real person with real feelings and
to a real person with real feelings and
to a real person with real feelings and it’s leading to harassment
it’s leading to harassment
it’s leading to harassment it leads to even serious crime diversity
it leads to even serious crime diversity
it leads to even serious crime diversity each and every one of us we’re all
each and every one of us we’re all
each and every one of us we’re all unique whether it’s our beliefs whether
unique whether it’s our beliefs whether
unique whether it’s our beliefs whether it’s languages that we speak whether
it’s languages that we speak whether
it’s languages that we speak whether it’s our likes and dislikes and because
it’s our likes and dislikes and because
it’s our likes and dislikes and because of this digital conversation that we
of this digital conversation that we
of this digital conversation that we have we’ve limited our power of
have we’ve limited our power of
have we’ve limited our power of expression our ability to look at
expression our ability to look at
expression our ability to look at nuances nonverbal cues body language to
nuances nonverbal cues body language to
nuances nonverbal cues body language to have those effective conversations if
have those effective conversations if
have those effective conversations if you took your friend out to lunch and
you took your friend out to lunch and
you took your friend out to lunch and you suggested something on the menu
you suggested something on the menu
you suggested something on the menu maybe your friend will be polite and say
maybe your friend will be polite and say
maybe your friend will be polite and say it was tasty but you can look at that
it was tasty but you can look at that
it was tasty but you can look at that person and you can look for those
person and you can look for those
person and you can look for those nonverbal cues to make a decision for
nonverbal cues to make a decision for
nonverbal cues to make a decision for yourself as to whether they really
yourself as to whether they really
yourself as to whether they really enjoyed it and we’ve lost that ability
enjoyed it and we’ve lost that ability
enjoyed it and we’ve lost that ability through these digital Congress
through these digital Congress
through these digital Congress conversations we have normalized and
conversations we have normalized and
conversations we have normalized and standardized everybody in two entities
standardized everybody in two entities
standardized everybody in two entities that are capable of using these
that are capable of using these
that are capable of using these interfaces in communicating with each
interfaces in communicating with each
interfaces in communicating with each other humanity is a whole the whole
other humanity is a whole the whole
other humanity is a whole the whole purpose the whole point of conversations
purpose the whole point of conversations
purpose the whole point of conversations was to connect was to find comfort and
was to connect was to find comfort and
was to connect was to find comfort and joy was to be Wallner able and yet today
joy was to be Wallner able and yet today
joy was to be Wallner able and yet today through this digital conversation it has
through this digital conversation it has
through this digital conversation it has become one of the biggest sources of
become one of the biggest sources of
become one of the biggest sources of stress in day to day life how many times
stress in day to day life how many times
stress in day to day life how many times have you sent a text message looked at
have you sent a text message looked at
have you sent a text message looked at the timestamp of the application that
the timestamp of the application that
the timestamp of the application that you used to send it and wondered hmm I
you used to send it and wondered hmm I
you used to send it and wondered hmm I send my message 10 minutes ago I know
send my message 10 minutes ago I know
send my message 10 minutes ago I know this person was online five minutes ago
this person was online five minutes ago
this person was online five minutes ago why didn’t I get a response it causes so
why didn’t I get a response it causes so
why didn’t I get a response it causes so much anxiety it causes conflict in
much anxiety it causes conflict in
much anxiety it causes conflict in relationships how many times have you
relationships how many times have you
relationships how many times have you observed that someone’s typing a
observed that someone’s typing a
observed that someone’s typing a feedback being printed on the website
feedback being printed on the website
feedback being printed on the website and then they decide not to or typing a
and then they decide not to or typing a
and then they decide not to or typing a comment you like what were you trying to
comment you like what were you trying to
comment you like what were you trying to say if we attuned in to our senses and
say if we attuned in to our senses and
say if we attuned in to our senses and what we’re able to recognize or see for
what we’re able to recognize or see for
what we’re able to recognize or see for ourselves we have no idea what’s
ourselves we have no idea what’s
ourselves we have no idea what’s happening on the other end take it a
happening on the other end take it a
happening on the other end take it a step further and think about the web
step further and think about the web
step further and think about the web sites where we post pictures and aspects
sites where we post pictures and aspects
sites where we post pictures and aspects of our life we now have this ability to
of our life we now have this ability to
of our life we now have this ability to hide
hide
hide behind this interface and hide our flaws
behind this interface and hide our flaws
behind this interface and hide our flaws hide our ability to be vulnerable
hide our ability to be vulnerable
hide our ability to be vulnerable because every picture is perfect every
because every picture is perfect every
because every picture is perfect every vacation is perfect there’s so much
vacation is perfect there’s so much
vacation is perfect there’s so much stress on people taking the post to
stress on people taking the post to
stress on people taking the post to actually put that perfect aspect of
actually put that perfect aspect of
actually put that perfect aspect of their lives out there and the person
their lives out there and the person
their lives out there and the person observing looks all around them and goes
observing looks all around them and goes
observing looks all around them and goes oh my gosh
oh my gosh
oh my gosh everyone is having such a perfect life
everyone is having such a perfect life
everyone is having such a perfect life and look at mine it’s mundane it’s
and look at mine it’s mundane it’s
and look at mine it’s mundane it’s boring it’s normal and so we’ve lost
boring it’s normal and so we’ve lost
boring it’s normal and so we’ve lost that ability to connect to be vulnerable
that ability to connect to be vulnerable
that ability to connect to be vulnerable to share to look at the flaws in each
to share to look at the flaws in each
to share to look at the flaws in each other and to grow together I bet when
other and to grow together I bet when
other and to grow together I bet when these TED talks are posted there will be
these TED talks are posted there will be
these TED talks are posted there will be people who have either watched the video
people who have either watched the video
people who have either watched the video who have just listened to the audio who
who have just listened to the audio who
who have just listened to the audio who have opinions based on opinions already
have opinions based on opinions already
have opinions based on opinions already posted we’re all going to form these
posted we’re all going to form these
posted we’re all going to form these east sends connections with each other
east sends connections with each other
east sends connections with each other so is it that I’ll be doomed
so is it that I’ll be doomed
so is it that I’ll be doomed no the point here is that we’re at this
no the point here is that we’re at this
no the point here is that we’re at this crossroads of connection we’re at this
crossroads of connection we’re at this
crossroads of connection we’re at this crossroads in the evolution of
crossroads in the evolution of
crossroads in the evolution of communication and we have an opportunity
communication and we have an opportunity
communication and we have an opportunity to make a conscious decision to bridge
to make a conscious decision to bridge
to make a conscious decision to bridge that gap to bring the best of both
that gap to bring the best of both
that gap to bring the best of both worlds together the benefits of
worlds together the benefits of
worlds together the benefits of Technology as well as the
Technology as well as the
Technology as well as the well-established norms and traits of
well-established norms and traits of
well-established norms and traits of effective communication we have a choice
effective communication we have a choice
effective communication we have a choice today to find that balance by taking a
today to find that balance by taking a
today to find that balance by taking a few simple steps
few simple steps
few simple steps the first one is brain dead simple right
the first one is brain dead simple right
the first one is brain dead simple right optimize for direct communication when
optimize for direct communication when
optimize for direct communication when you can countless number of times I’ve
you can countless number of times I’ve
you can countless number of times I’ve worked into my workplace and seeing
worked into my workplace and seeing
worked into my workplace and seeing people sitting in opposite in on nearby
people sitting in opposite in on nearby
people sitting in opposite in on nearby cubicles or offices texting each other
cubicles or offices texting each other
cubicles or offices texting each other and countless number of times it’s led
and countless number of times it’s led
and countless number of times it’s led to conflict and every single time the
to conflict and every single time the
to conflict and every single time the solution is go please please go talk to
solution is go please please go talk to
solution is go please please go talk to that person directly and almost always
that person directly and almost always
that person directly and almost always it solves the problem so please optimize
it solves the problem so please optimize
it solves the problem so please optimize for direct communication when you can
for direct communication when you can
for direct communication when you can let’s leverage the established norms but
let’s leverage the established norms but
let’s leverage the established norms but the the learning that we have from all
the the learning that we have from all
the the learning that we have from all these years of direct communication
these years of direct communication
these years of direct communication let’s not throw them away we don’t have
let’s not throw them away we don’t have
let’s not throw them away we don’t have to relearn them there’s a reason why we
to relearn them there’s a reason why we
to relearn them there’s a reason why we had those norms to begin with the hello
had those norms to begin with the hello
had those norms to begin with the hello how are you before you get into the meat
how are you before you get into the meat
how are you before you get into the meat of the conversation it was an
of the conversation it was an
of the conversation it was an opportunity for both participants to
opportunity for both participants to
opportunity for both participants to disengage and to Zone into the
disengage and to Zone into the
disengage and to Zone into the conversation they’re about to have let’s
conversation they’re about to have let’s
conversation they’re about to have let’s engage with mindfulness let’s be present
engage with mindfulness let’s be present
engage with mindfulness let’s be present in that conversation and this is a call
in that conversation and this is a call
in that conversation and this is a call out to all companies and individuals who
out to all companies and individuals who
out to all companies and individuals who are designing these social media
are designing these social media
are designing these social media applications can we close our eyes and
applications can we close our eyes and
applications can we close our eyes and hope that a sense goes away no it’s here
hope that a sense goes away no it’s here
hope that a sense goes away no it’s here to stay
to stay
to stay technology is here to stay but there’s a
technology is here to stay but there’s a
technology is here to stay but there’s a tremendous opportunity for us to factor
tremendous opportunity for us to factor
tremendous opportunity for us to factor into the design of these applications
into the design of these applications
into the design of these applications the nuances that make the direct
the nuances that make the direct
the nuances that make the direct conversations well-rounded and if we
conversations well-rounded and if we
conversations well-rounded and if we take these simple steps although we may
take these simple steps although we may
take these simple steps although we may have to forego a little bit of
have to forego a little bit of
have to forego a little bit of convenience we may have to make an
convenience we may have to make an
convenience we may have to make an effort to be mindful we can take away
effort to be mindful we can take away
effort to be mindful we can take away some of the destructive potential of
some of the destructive potential of
some of the destructive potential of e-sens we can actually turn it into a
e-sens we can actually turn it into a
e-sens we can actually turn it into a powerful phenomenon if we take these
powerful phenomenon if we take these
powerful phenomenon if we take these simple steps we can convert a sense into
simple steps we can convert a sense into
simple steps we can convert a sense into a positive effect one that allows us to
a positive effect one that allows us to
a positive effect one that allows us to evolve embrace the benefits of
evolve embrace the benefits of
evolve embrace the benefits of Technology while we continue to engage
Technology while we continue to engage
Technology while we continue to engage in meaningful and mindful conversations
in meaningful and mindful conversations
in meaningful and mindful conversations continue to engage in conversations that
continue to engage in conversations that
continue to engage in conversations that are deeply rooted in the
are deeply rooted in the
are deeply rooted in the well-established norms of effective
well-established norms of effective
well-established norms of effective communication let’s bring that joy of
communication let’s bring that joy of
communication let’s bring that joy of connections along with us for the
connections along with us for the
connections along with us for the journey forward thank you
journey forward thank you
journey forward thank you you
you
you [Applause]
”
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