[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] Bengie half of the women here are
Bengie half of the women here are
Bengie half of the women here are worried our have been worried at some
worried our have been worried at some
worried our have been worried at some point of their lives of being associated
point of their lives of being associated
point of their lives of being associated with that tag for those not in the know
with that tag for those not in the know
with that tag for those not in the know Benjy is a common Hindi word meaning
Benjy is a common Hindi word meaning
Benjy is a common Hindi word meaning sister but who more commonly used to
sister but who more commonly used to
sister but who more commonly used to imply that you’re so unattractive you
imply that you’re so unattractive you
imply that you’re so unattractive you cannot be any more than a sister in
cannot be any more than a sister in
cannot be any more than a sister in itself it’s not a bad word but the
itself it’s not a bad word but the
itself it’s not a bad word but the connotation it is used with is
connotation it is used with is
connotation it is used with is unattractive with time our sense of lack
unattractive with time our sense of lack
unattractive with time our sense of lack of modernity has also come to be
of modernity has also come to be
of modernity has also come to be associated with it someone who cannot
associated with it someone who cannot
associated with it someone who cannot fit in with the latest and the trendiest
fit in with the latest and the trendiest
fit in with the latest and the trendiest so in a sense to fit in one needs to be
so in a sense to fit in one needs to be
so in a sense to fit in one needs to be modern and attractive now what is the
modern and attractive now what is the
modern and attractive now what is the benchmark of modern attractiveness let’s
benchmark of modern attractiveness let’s
benchmark of modern attractiveness let’s look back let’s look at the Industrial
look back let’s look at the Industrial
look back let’s look at the Industrial Revolution with it came a
Revolution with it came a
Revolution with it came a standardization of dress sizes
standardization of dress sizes
standardization of dress sizes as Flo started being produced in
as Flo started being produced in
as Flo started being produced in factories a complete erosion of
factories a complete erosion of
factories a complete erosion of personalised reciting by the local
personalised reciting by the local
personalised reciting by the local tailor Gabey to sizes small medium large
tailor Gabey to sizes small medium large
tailor Gabey to sizes small medium large or an 8 10 14 and so on now this not
or an 8 10 14 and so on now this not
or an 8 10 14 and so on now this not only standardized sizes but standardized
only standardized sizes but standardized
only standardized sizes but standardized comparisons as well women were more
comparisons as well women were more
comparisons as well women were more acutely aware of their relative sizes
acutely aware of their relative sizes
acutely aware of their relative sizes small medium large
add to it that hyper commercialization
add to it that hyper commercialization added an extra small or a size zero to a
added an extra small or a size zero to a
added an extra small or a size zero to a with every new season they were thinner
with every new season they were thinner
with every new season they were thinner and thinner models dominating runways
and thinner models dominating runways
and thinner models dominating runways magazine advertisements and campaigns
magazine advertisements and campaigns
magazine advertisements and campaigns now we humans are very visual creatures
now we humans are very visual creatures
now we humans are very visual creatures if we exposed to a certain image type to
if we exposed to a certain image type to
if we exposed to a certain image type to a certain concept over a period of time
a certain concept over a period of time
a certain concept over a period of time that image becomes a new normal
that image becomes a new normal
that image becomes a new normal a good example of this is how to the use
a good example of this is how to the use
a good example of this is how to the use of media over the last few decades we
of media over the last few decades we
of media over the last few decades we have come to accept that the benchmark
have come to accept that the benchmark
have come to accept that the benchmark of beauty is a reef fish we thin yet
of beauty is a reef fish we thin yet
of beauty is a reef fish we thin yet somehow and our gloss body we have come
somehow and our gloss body we have come
somehow and our gloss body we have come to accept that those deep collarbones
to accept that those deep collarbones
to accept that those deep collarbones the thigh gap the slender curves are all
the thigh gap the slender curves are all
the thigh gap the slender curves are all attainable all at once add to it that
attainable all at once add to it that
attainable all at once add to it that this image is tied with rich good happy
this image is tied with rich good happy
this image is tied with rich good happy and it becomes an ideal the gold
and it becomes an ideal the gold
and it becomes an ideal the gold standard of human appearance today the
standard of human appearance today the
standard of human appearance today the pursuit of success is the pursuit of the
pursuit of success is the pursuit of the
pursuit of success is the pursuit of the supermodel figure and we are willing to
supermodel figure and we are willing to
supermodel figure and we are willing to loser in a piece for it you might
loser in a piece for it you might
loser in a piece for it you might actually be healthy in the traditional
actually be healthy in the traditional
actually be healthy in the traditional sense of the word but much like Benjy
sense of the word but much like Benjy
sense of the word but much like Benjy even the word healthy hasn’t been spared
even the word healthy hasn’t been spared
even the word healthy hasn’t been spared the weight of serving as a polite term
the weight of serving as a polite term
the weight of serving as a polite term for fat no pun intended
for fat no pun intended
for fat no pun intended as an entrepreneur who empowers working
as an entrepreneur who empowers working
as an entrepreneur who empowers working women through what they wear my interest
women through what they wear my interest
women through what they wear my interest lies in clothing and how that affects
lies in clothing and how that affects
lies in clothing and how that affects our daily lives so clothes and the
our daily lives so clothes and the
our daily lives so clothes and the meanings associated with them like
meanings associated with them like
meanings associated with them like successful or mediocre attractive or
successful or mediocre attractive or
successful or mediocre attractive or unattractive professional or sloppy
unattractive professional or sloppy
unattractive professional or sloppy choose these words choose what we decide
choose these words choose what we decide
choose these words choose what we decide to wear or what we decide not to wear so
to wear or what we decide not to wear so
to wear or what we decide not to wear so every morning when you’re standing in
every morning when you’re standing in
every morning when you’re standing in front of your wardrobe and you pick out
front of your wardrobe and you pick out
front of your wardrobe and you pick out what to wear you decide based on what
what to wear you decide based on what
what to wear you decide based on what you do not want to look like on that day
you do not want to look like on that day
you do not want to look like on that day we reject clots placed on the labels we
we reject clots placed on the labels we
we reject clots placed on the labels we wish to reject not necessarily the ones
wish to reject not necessarily the ones
wish to reject not necessarily the ones we wish to project so in the course of
we wish to project so in the course of
we wish to project so in the course of my work I’ve met many women at different
my work I’ve met many women at different
my work I’ve met many women at different stages of their career so our young
stages of their career so our young
stages of their career so our young urban executive hailing from a small
urban executive hailing from a small
urban executive hailing from a small town
town
town what strongly believed that to make it
what strongly believed that to make it
what strongly believed that to make it big in the city
big in the city
big in the city she needs to fit into a little black
she needs to fit into a little black
she needs to fit into a little black dress yes the LBD is a very aspirational
dress yes the LBD is a very aspirational
dress yes the LBD is a very aspirational it would probably stand for all the
it would probably stand for all the
it would probably stand for all the labels she wishes to reject maybe once
labels she wishes to reject maybe once
labels she wishes to reject maybe once like Benjy or mid to senior level
like Benjy or mid to senior level
like Benjy or mid to senior level officer would appropriate masculine
officer would appropriate masculine
officer would appropriate masculine elements into her clothing by wearing
elements into her clothing by wearing
elements into her clothing by wearing pants suits so as to be taken more
pants suits so as to be taken more
pants suits so as to be taken more seriously so everyone in different ways
seriously so everyone in different ways
seriously so everyone in different ways is trying to fit in by wearing clothes
is trying to fit in by wearing clothes
is trying to fit in by wearing clothes that we believe have meanings associated
that we believe have meanings associated
that we believe have meanings associated with them now these meanings that we
with them now these meanings that we
with them now these meanings that we think our clothes have are actually
think our clothes have are actually
think our clothes have are actually ascribed to them by popular culture and
ascribed to them by popular culture and
ascribed to them by popular culture and popular culture that’s fed by media
popular culture that’s fed by media
popular culture that’s fed by media media that’s largely governed by what
media that’s largely governed by what
media that’s largely governed by what fashion houses want to sell across the
fashion houses want to sell across the
fashion houses want to sell across the globe so whether you’re lean or curvy
globe so whether you’re lean or curvy
globe so whether you’re lean or curvy high metabolic rate or low heavy rain
high metabolic rate or low heavy rain
high metabolic rate or low heavy rain Buster bottom we all end up wearing the
Buster bottom we all end up wearing the
Buster bottom we all end up wearing the same clothes that are standardized in
same clothes that are standardized in
same clothes that are standardized in sizes and styles across the world from
sizes and styles across the world from
sizes and styles across the world from Bay Area to Mumbai the same does that
Bay Area to Mumbai the same does that
Bay Area to Mumbai the same does that make sense even in theory here comes
make sense even in theory here comes
make sense even in theory here comes into effect what psychologists call the
into effect what psychologists call the
into effect what psychologists call the priming effect it basically talks about
priming effect it basically talks about
priming effect it basically talks about how we imbibe in us the stereotypes that
how we imbibe in us the stereotypes that
how we imbibe in us the stereotypes that we frequently come across so when you’re
we frequently come across so when you’re
we frequently come across so when you’re wearing clothes that you have seen in
wearing clothes that you have seen in
wearing clothes that you have seen in one form or another on a supermodel
one form or another on a supermodel
one form or another on a supermodel across the globe we start associating
across the globe we start associating
across the globe we start associating those clothes with an ideal body type
those clothes with an ideal body type
those clothes with an ideal body type and when we wear those clothes the look
and when we wear those clothes the look
and when we wear those clothes the look of the comment on our body it falls
of the comment on our body it falls
of the comment on our body it falls short from what we were promised from
short from what we were promised from
short from what we were promised from the billboard
what you’re buying is fashion not
what you’re buying is fashion not clothing the fashion industry largely
clothing the fashion industry largely
clothing the fashion industry largely does not want to be associated with
does not want to be associated with
does not want to be associated with normal bodies by associating their
normal bodies by associating their
normal bodies by associating their clothes only with the gold standard of
clothes only with the gold standard of
clothes only with the gold standard of human appearance the fashion industry
human appearance the fashion industry
human appearance the fashion industry racially reinforces the need to be
racially reinforces the need to be
racially reinforces the need to be relevant thereby generating lifelong
relevant thereby generating lifelong
relevant thereby generating lifelong customers who will keep buying to keep
customers who will keep buying to keep
customers who will keep buying to keep up the fashion industry is a three
up the fashion industry is a three
up the fashion industry is a three trillion dollar industry and it reached
trillion dollar industry and it reached
trillion dollar industry and it reached there by generating very strong ideal
there by generating very strong ideal
there by generating very strong ideal conditions for such numbers but the
conditions for such numbers but the
conditions for such numbers but the health of the industry that comes at the
health of the industry that comes at the
health of the industry that comes at the cost of our own monetary and mental
cost of our own monetary and mental
cost of our own monetary and mental well-being
the more we buy the stronger our inner
the more we buy the stronger our inner dissonance gets we will inevitably end
dissonance gets we will inevitably end
dissonance gets we will inevitably end up making the comparison that our body
up making the comparison that our body
up making the comparison that our body is just not the right size don’t that
is just not the right size don’t that
is just not the right size don’t that they’re not fill it all out there
whether we follow fashion or have a
whether we follow fashion or have a total disregard for it the fashion
total disregard for it the fashion
total disregard for it the fashion industry is surreptitiously working to
industry is surreptitiously working to
industry is surreptitiously working to make you believe that your body is just
make you believe that your body is just
make you believe that your body is just not the right size it still needs
not the right size it still needs
not the right size it still needs working upon for anyone who believes I
working upon for anyone who believes I
working upon for anyone who believes I mean know many people like this so
mean know many people like this so
mean know many people like this so anyone who believes that paying
anyone who believes that paying
anyone who believes that paying attention to what we wear is a frivolous
attention to what we wear is a frivolous
attention to what we wear is a frivolous pursuit I want you to consider something
pursuit I want you to consider something
pursuit I want you to consider something imagine
imagine
imagine imagine not being satisfied with the way
imagine not being satisfied with the way
imagine not being satisfied with the way you look every day of the week then the
you look every day of the week then the
you look every day of the week then the months then years right now you’re
months then years right now you’re
months then years right now you’re sitting out there with your
sitting out there with your
sitting out there with your dissatisfactions it’s your companion and
dissatisfactions it’s your companion and
dissatisfactions it’s your companion and before you know it
before you know it
before you know it it will be you let me share a simple
it will be you let me share a simple
it will be you let me share a simple story so I was born with shot frizzy
story so I was born with shot frizzy
story so I was born with shot frizzy hair and I was led to believe that it
hair and I was led to believe that it
hair and I was led to believe that it was a bad version of my father straight
was a bad version of my father straight
was a bad version of my father straight hair and not really my mother’s girls it
hair and not really my mother’s girls it
hair and not really my mother’s girls it was a given I never questioned it
was a given I never questioned it
was a given I never questioned it because it was reinforced time and again
because it was reinforced time and again
because it was reinforced time and again by the people around me but I hated my
by the people around me but I hated my
by the people around me but I hated my hair I a ganache Dover them they were
hair I a ganache Dover them they were
hair I a ganache Dover them they were frizzy unmanageable a bird’s nest over
frizzy unmanageable a bird’s nest over
frizzy unmanageable a bird’s nest over my head I was literally at war with them
my head I was literally at war with them
my head I was literally at war with them rebonding straightening you name it I
rebonding straightening you name it I
rebonding straightening you name it I would have tried it no permanent
would have tried it no permanent
would have tried it no permanent solutions of course so I started tying
solutions of course so I started tying
solutions of course so I started tying them up tight ponytails for 20 years I
them up tight ponytails for 20 years I
them up tight ponytails for 20 years I tied my hair up without questioning it
tied my hair up without questioning it
tied my hair up without questioning it took me 20 years 20 years to figure out
took me 20 years 20 years to figure out
took me 20 years 20 years to figure out that I actually had just different sort
that I actually had just different sort
that I actually had just different sort of girls not necessarily straight hair
of girls not necessarily straight hair
of girls not necessarily straight hair and that is conditioning for you
and that is conditioning for you
and that is conditioning for you no one will tell you there is no one
no one will tell you there is no one
no one will tell you there is no one because it is an industry that feeds off
because it is an industry that feeds off
because it is an industry that feeds off on our insecurities and it’s not just a
on our insecurities and it’s not just a
on our insecurities and it’s not just a few women I believe most of the women
few women I believe most of the women
few women I believe most of the women out there are tying themselves up
out there are tying themselves up
out there are tying themselves up literally or metaphorically because we
literally or metaphorically because we
literally or metaphorically because we have been through decades and decades of
have been through decades and decades of
have been through decades and decades of conditioning
conditioning
conditioning it takes some powerful tools to undo the
it takes some powerful tools to undo the
it takes some powerful tools to undo the effect here I suggest so look for
effect here I suggest so look for
effect here I suggest so look for recognize and question patterns do not
recognize and question patterns do not
recognize and question patterns do not simply assume you’re out of reach of
simply assume you’re out of reach of
simply assume you’re out of reach of socially pervasive conditioning but we
socially pervasive conditioning but we
socially pervasive conditioning but we need to train ourselves to habitually
need to train ourselves to habitually
need to train ourselves to habitually question everything and all the
question everything and all the
question everything and all the messengers around us realize that if you
messengers around us realize that if you
messengers around us realize that if you think you don’t look good it might not
think you don’t look good it might not
think you don’t look good it might not be your body don’t rush to blame it it
be your body don’t rush to blame it it
be your body don’t rush to blame it it might actually be the clothes at fault
might actually be the clothes at fault
might actually be the clothes at fault reveal clothes that do not fit our
reveal clothes that do not fit our
reveal clothes that do not fit our bodies instead we make our bodies fit
bodies instead we make our bodies fit
bodies instead we make our bodies fit into off-the-rack clothing instead we
into off-the-rack clothing instead we
into off-the-rack clothing instead we need clothes that present us in a manner
need clothes that present us in a manner
need clothes that present us in a manner we deserve but some understanding some
we deserve but some understanding some
we deserve but some understanding some kindness and some acceptance remember
kindness and some acceptance remember
kindness and some acceptance remember that the dress that the body does not
that the dress that the body does not
that the dress that the body does not follow the shape of the dress it is the
follow the shape of the dress it is the
follow the shape of the dress it is the dress that follows the shape of the body
dress that follows the shape of the body
dress that follows the shape of the body the last and my personal favorite is the
the last and my personal favorite is the
the last and my personal favorite is the power suit no no it’s not those heavy
power suit no no it’s not those heavy
power suit no no it’s not those heavy shoulder padded jackets and a Hillary
shoulder padded jackets and a Hillary
shoulder padded jackets and a Hillary Clinton instead the power suit is a non
Clinton instead the power suit is a non
Clinton instead the power suit is a non specific item it can be any color any
specific item it can be any color any
specific item it can be any color any style it doesn’t even need to be on
style it doesn’t even need to be on
style it doesn’t even need to be on trend at the moment instead the power
trend at the moment instead the power
trend at the moment instead the power suit is something that brings out the
suit is something that brings out the
suit is something that brings out the most fulfilled version of you because of
most fulfilled version of you because of
most fulfilled version of you because of the power it wheels over your inner self
the power it wheels over your inner self
the power it wheels over your inner self by working around your body making it
by working around your body making it
by working around your body making it look good and making you feel even
look good and making you feel even
look good and making you feel even better that is the power suit
better that is the power suit
better that is the power suit and if you don’t already have an object
and if you don’t already have an object
and if you don’t already have an object in mind when you hear this it’s not
in mind when you hear this it’s not
in mind when you hear this it’s not difficult to make this concept work for
difficult to make this concept work for
difficult to make this concept work for you just start at what is almost always
you just start at what is almost always
you just start at what is almost always in the washing machine at the end of the
in the washing machine at the end of the
in the washing machine at the end of the week that is your body’s Way of telling
week that is your body’s Way of telling
week that is your body’s Way of telling you is what keeps it at is most
you is what keeps it at is most
you is what keeps it at is most comfortable zone build on it so that you
comfortable zone build on it so that you
comfortable zone build on it so that you can walk the road chin up without any
can walk the road chin up without any
can walk the road chin up without any fear of labels we all have to leave the
fear of labels we all have to leave the
fear of labels we all have to leave the fabric of change within us
fabric of change within us
fabric of change within us it all starts within us remember that
it all starts within us remember that
it all starts within us remember that person that we meet only in the bathroom
person that we meet only in the bathroom
person that we meet only in the bathroom mirror who gets to talk only inside our
mirror who gets to talk only inside our
mirror who gets to talk only inside our head reconnect with that person give
head reconnect with that person give
head reconnect with that person give that person a power suit that fits his
that person a power suit that fits his
that person a power suit that fits his or her unique body step out of the self
or her unique body step out of the self
or her unique body step out of the self plain self shame cycles question the
plain self shame cycles question the
plain self shame cycles question the conditioning the day we achieve that
conditioning the day we achieve that
conditioning the day we achieve that that day we set ourselves free
that day we set ourselves free
that day we set ourselves free [Applause]
”
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