what do you fear is that the future is it the past is it yourself is that a
it the past is it yourself is that a
it the past is it yourself is that a vulnerability is it your ability is that
vulnerability is it your ability is that
vulnerability is it your ability is that something you did in the past is it
something you did in the past is it
something you did in the past is it something you haven’t confronted please
something you haven’t confronted please
something you haven’t confronted please hold these thoughts in your own head
hold these thoughts in your own head
hold these thoughts in your own head tonight because i’m going to ask a
tonight because i’m going to ask a
tonight because i’m going to ask a volunteer from the audience up on TEDx
volunteer from the audience up on TEDx
volunteer from the audience up on TEDx to talk about your fears tonight so I’ll
to talk about your fears tonight so I’ll
to talk about your fears tonight so I’ll come back to that the internet and
come back to that the internet and
come back to that the internet and smartphones have this omnipresent fight
smartphones have this omnipresent fight
smartphones have this omnipresent fight in life and enable us to connect to new
in life and enable us to connect to new
in life and enable us to connect to new mediums to apps to news to so many great
mediums to apps to news to so many great
mediums to apps to news to so many great powerful and wonderful things but they
powerful and wonderful things but they
powerful and wonderful things but they also can connect you to healthcare and
also can connect you to healthcare and
also can connect you to healthcare and to mental health care to provide a
to mental health care to provide a
to mental health care to provide a support in your pocket to reach the
support in your pocket to reach the
support in your pocket to reach the often on regional and that was our goal
often on regional and that was our goal
often on regional and that was our goal from the beginning my name is ocean
from the beginning my name is ocean
from the beginning my name is ocean scholars I am a co-founder of the online
scholars I am a co-founder of the online
scholars I am a co-founder of the online mental health organization turn to me
mental health organization turn to me
mental health organization turn to me dork and turn to me is an online mental
dork and turn to me is an online mental
dork and turn to me is an online mental health support organization that is
health support organization that is
health support organization that is connecting with over 50,000 people all
connecting with over 50,000 people all
connecting with over 50,000 people all over the world but that’s not where this
over the world but that’s not where this
over the world but that’s not where this story begins you don’t wake up one
story begins you don’t wake up one
story begins you don’t wake up one morning and decide i’m going to set up
morning and decide i’m going to set up
morning and decide i’m going to set up an online mental health organization and
an online mental health organization and
an online mental health organization and especially when you’ve absolutely no
especially when you’ve absolutely no
especially when you’ve absolutely no mental health background except maybe
mental health background except maybe
mental health background except maybe for knowing and understanding it where
for knowing and understanding it where
for knowing and understanding it where this story began was in 2003 on a cold
this story began was in 2003 on a cold
this story began was in 2003 on a cold winter morning when i received a phone
winter morning when i received a phone
winter morning when i received a phone call from my dad who’s here tonight and
call from my dad who’s here tonight and
call from my dad who’s here tonight and that phone call had a lot of pauses what
that phone call had a lot of pauses what
that phone call had a lot of pauses what is how about a meeting and it was a
is how about a meeting and it was a
is how about a meeting and it was a phone call where i learned that
phone call where i learned that
phone call where i learned that my brother conch my friend cork my
my brother conch my friend cork my
my brother conch my friend cork my confidence had died by suicide and
confidence had died by suicide and
confidence had died by suicide and that’s a very dark moment in anyone’s
that’s a very dark moment in anyone’s
that’s a very dark moment in anyone’s life that’s a moment where your life
life that’s a moment where your life
life that’s a moment where your life changes you are left with lots of
changes you are left with lots of
changes you are left with lots of questions you are left with a lack of
questions you are left with a lack of
questions you are left with a lack of answers we’re left with guilt you are
answers we’re left with guilt you are
answers we’re left with guilt you are left with a deep longing to understand
left with a deep longing to understand
left with a deep longing to understand what may have caused that to happen and
what may have caused that to happen and
what may have caused that to happen and you’ll never get closure and you will
you’ll never get closure and you will
you’ll never get closure and you will never get answers it is when sadly the
never get answers it is when sadly the
never get answers it is when sadly the fear of life and living Trump’s the fear
fear of life and living Trump’s the fear
fear of life and living Trump’s the fear of death and now you’re attuned all of a
of death and now you’re attuned all of a
of death and now you’re attuned all of a sudden to statistics that you saw before
sudden to statistics that you saw before
sudden to statistics that you saw before what they didn’t make a whole lot of
what they didn’t make a whole lot of
what they didn’t make a whole lot of sense eight hundred thousands of people
sense eight hundred thousands of people
sense eight hundred thousands of people are lost to suicide every year there’s a
are lost to suicide every year there’s a
are lost to suicide every year there’s a suicide currently Every 40 seconds by
suicide currently Every 40 seconds by
suicide currently Every 40 seconds by 2020 there’ll be a suicide every 20
2020 there’ll be a suicide every 20
2020 there’ll be a suicide every 20 seconds so I’m talking here tonight for
seconds so I’m talking here tonight for
seconds so I’m talking here tonight for ten minutes so there’ll be 50 people who
ten minutes so there’ll be 50 people who
ten minutes so there’ll be 50 people who will have died by suicide at the end of
will have died by suicide at the end of
will have died by suicide at the end of this speech and that’s a starting
this speech and that’s a starting
this speech and that’s a starting starting number in Ireland it’s 500 it’s
starting number in Ireland it’s 500 it’s
starting number in Ireland it’s 500 it’s possibly a lot more we don’t know
possibly a lot more we don’t know
possibly a lot more we don’t know because it’s not reported fully unless
because it’s not reported fully unless
because it’s not reported fully unless this absolutely categorical proof that
this absolutely categorical proof that
this absolutely categorical proof that it was a suicide some say in Ireland
it was a suicide some say in Ireland
it was a suicide some say in Ireland it’s more like 800 people and now in
it’s more like 800 people and now in
it’s more like 800 people and now in dealing with something like that you are
dealing with something like that you are
dealing with something like that you are on a new course suicide is silent
on a new course suicide is silent
on a new course suicide is silent suicide is guilt how do you deal with
suicide is guilt how do you deal with
suicide is guilt how do you deal with that what do you do how do you
that what do you do how do you
that what do you do how do you rationalize if you can’t you don’t have
rationalize if you can’t you don’t have
rationalize if you can’t you don’t have answers you cannot get finality that’s
answers you cannot get finality that’s
answers you cannot get finality that’s not natural to someone that’s not
not natural to someone that’s not
not natural to someone that’s not natural to human kind do you self abuse
natural to human kind do you self abuse
natural to human kind do you self abuse you take it out on a bottle do you
you take it out on a bottle do you
you take it out on a bottle do you bottle it up do you say it’s ground
bottle it up do you say it’s ground
bottle it up do you say it’s ground don’t worry about it it’d be fine
don’t worry about it it’d be fine
don’t worry about it it’d be fine soldier on battle on these are the
soldier on battle on these are the
soldier on battle on these are the things we do with the coping mechanisms
things we do with the coping mechanisms
things we do with the coping mechanisms for grief presents a vulnerability
for grief presents a vulnerability
for grief presents a vulnerability a precious vulnerability that we are
a precious vulnerability that we are
a precious vulnerability that we are often fear to show to display I’m a
often fear to show to display I’m a
often fear to show to display I’m a vulnerable I don’t feel vulnerable t I’m
vulnerable I don’t feel vulnerable t I’m
vulnerable I don’t feel vulnerable t I’m fighting and recovery is a word feared
have you ever searched for mental health
have you ever searched for mental health support you’re hit with all these
support you’re hit with all these
support you’re hit with all these options psychiatry psychotherapy
options psychiatry psychotherapy
options psychiatry psychotherapy psychology counseling mindfulness which
psychology counseling mindfulness which
psychology counseling mindfulness which one is for me you’re left with two
one is for me you’re left with two
one is for me you’re left with two stress panic fear isolation if you pause
stress panic fear isolation if you pause
stress panic fear isolation if you pause for one moment I just think about that
for one moment I just think about that
for one moment I just think about that person who’s looking to get that help
person who’s looking to get that help
person who’s looking to get that help you’re starting on that journey to open
you’re starting on that journey to open
you’re starting on that journey to open up about something that’s within them or
up about something that’s within them or
up about something that’s within them or something that may be around them or
something that may be around them or
something that may be around them or something that is experienced within
something that is experienced within
something that is experienced within them think about that panic think about
them think about that panic think about
them think about that panic think about that distress that they go through to
that distress that they go through to
that distress that they go through to try and find that way forward feel that
try and find that way forward feel that
try and find that way forward feel that fear now with the start I said it was
fear now with the start I said it was
fear now with the start I said it was going to ask somebody up from the
going to ask somebody up from the
going to ask somebody up from the audience to talk about their fears and I
audience to talk about their fears and I
audience to talk about their fears and I going to do that right now so what a
going to do that right now so what a
going to do that right now so what a randomly picks on so don’t feel too
randomly picks on so don’t feel too
randomly picks on so don’t feel too uncomfortable about this
what did you feel that fear for about
what did you feel that fear for about five seconds and i like this guy might
five seconds and i like this guy might
five seconds and i like this guy might ask me where is the exit that’s what it
ask me where is the exit that’s what it
ask me where is the exit that’s what it feels like for many people but starting
feels like for many people but starting
feels like for many people but starting journey is that real fear and that’s
journey is that real fear and that’s
journey is that real fear and that’s where our inspiration came for the other
where our inspiration came for the other
where our inspiration came for the other way meeting because the beauty of being
way meeting because the beauty of being
way meeting because the beauty of being online is and the beauty of being in
online is and the beauty of being in
online is and the beauty of being in someone’s pocket is that you’ve broken
someone’s pocket is that you’ve broken
someone’s pocket is that you’ve broken down that barrier you’ve made it easier
down that barrier you’ve made it easier
down that barrier you’ve made it easier for someone to start and to begin to
for someone to start and to begin to
for someone to start and to begin to start to express what may be within them
start to express what may be within them
start to express what may be within them you’re not going to solve the problems
you’re not going to solve the problems
you’re not going to solve the problems you’re not going to fix oh and you’re
you’re not going to fix oh and you’re
you’re not going to fix oh and you’re not going to come online and go you know
not going to come online and go you know
not going to come online and go you know a lot of four sessions of online
a lot of four sessions of online
a lot of four sessions of online counseling what a concert through my
counseling what a concert through my
counseling what a concert through my phone and I’ll be fixed I can walk away
phone and I’ll be fixed I can walk away
phone and I’ll be fixed I can walk away that’s not how it works but what it does
that’s not how it works but what it does
that’s not how it works but what it does do is it gives you that place to start
do is it gives you that place to start
do is it gives you that place to start to package to rationalize to realize
to package to rationalize to realize
to package to rationalize to realize that you’re not the most out normal
that you’re not the most out normal
that you’re not the most out normal person in the world in fact this is very
person in the world in fact this is very
person in the world in fact this is very normal and there are many people who
normal and there are many people who
normal and there are many people who have these vulnerabilities these inner
have these vulnerabilities these inner
have these vulnerabilities these inner thoughts and fears you are not really
thoughts and fears you are not really
thoughts and fears you are not really not unique in so free and in 2009 myself
not unique in so free and in 2009 myself
not unique in so free and in 2009 myself and my brother Darren walked into a bar
and my brother Darren walked into a bar
and my brother Darren walked into a bar you can guess which one I am
you can guess which one I am
you can guess which one I am the good-looking women and we had an
the good-looking women and we had an
the good-looking women and we had an idea over a place like a lot of great
idea over a place like a lot of great
idea over a place like a lot of great Irish starting stories and we said why
Irish starting stories and we said why
Irish starting stories and we said why don’t we make something that’s available
don’t we make something that’s available
don’t we make something that’s available to people all over Ireland all over the
to people all over Ireland all over the
to people all over Ireland all over the world where they can start a lot to
world where they can start a lot to
world where they can start a lot to return to me was formed and there were
return to me was formed and there were
return to me was formed and there were many fears and there were many critics
many fears and there were many critics
many fears and there were many critics there were people who said this will
there were people who said this will
there were people who said this will never work your two guys who work as a
never work your two guys who work as a
never work your two guys who work as a web industry you haven’t a clue we have
web industry you haven’t a clue we have
web industry you haven’t a clue we have no money we talk all of us we packaged
no money we talk all of us we packaged
no money we talk all of us we packaged it up we listen we rationalize when we
it up we listen we rationalize when we
it up we listen we rationalize when we still went ahead and did and we launched
still went ahead and did and we launched
still went ahead and did and we launched and we feared we’re only leaving turn up
and we feared we’re only leaving turn up
and we feared we’re only leaving turn up when they did they gave loads of money
when they did they gave loads of money
when they did they gave loads of money and we’ve got going and we’ve grown to
and we’ve got going and we’ve grown to
and we’ve got going and we’ve grown to where we are have we listened to the
where we are have we listened to the
where we are have we listened to the fears and our own fears we would never
fears and our own fears we would never
fears and our own fears we would never have dodged and we would never have got
have dodged and we would never have got
have dodged and we would never have got to where we are and you gotta wonder
to where we are and you gotta wonder
to where we are and you gotta wonder though with the numbers that we’ve seen
though with the numbers that we’ve seen
though with the numbers that we’ve seen what as a society are we afraid of of
what as a society are we afraid of of
what as a society are we afraid of of showing these vulnerabilities of
showing these vulnerabilities of
showing these vulnerabilities of discussing mental health Bush actually
discussing mental health Bush actually
discussing mental health Bush actually doing something about it and you realize
doing something about it and you realize
doing something about it and you realize it’s not really Dutch abnormal there are
it’s not really Dutch abnormal there are
it’s not really Dutch abnormal there are one-third of the American population are
one-third of the American population are
one-third of the American population are currently experiencing some degree of
currently experiencing some degree of
currently experiencing some degree of anxiety on wellness the World Health
anxiety on wellness the World Health
anxiety on wellness the World Health Organization says right now depression
Organization says right now depression
Organization says right now depression is the biggest disability on this planet
is the biggest disability on this planet
is the biggest disability on this planet and we have seen sadly the numbers of
and we have seen sadly the numbers of
and we have seen sadly the numbers of suicide so why are we not talking or why
suicide so why are we not talking or why
suicide so why are we not talking or why are we not getting more help why are we
are we not getting more help why are we
are we not getting more help why are we hiding within ourselves what is the
hiding within ourselves what is the
hiding within ourselves what is the thing that we fear most
there are new fears there are new things
there are new fears there are new things that will disturb us that will make us
that will disturb us that will make us
that will disturb us that will make us feel or comfortable there are and 250
feel or comfortable there are and 250
feel or comfortable there are and 250 phobia the fear that when you walked
phobia the fear that when you walked
phobia the fear that when you walked into the room that everyone in that room
into the room that everyone in that room
into the room that everyone in that room stopped talking about you they might
stopped talking about you they might
stopped talking about you they might even be saying something nice political
even be saying something nice political
even be saying something nice political phobia a fear or abnormal dislike of
phobia a fear or abnormal dislike of
phobia a fear or abnormal dislike of politicians I think everyone in the room
politicians I think everyone in the room
politicians I think everyone in the room can sense that one and Chrysler phobia
can sense that one and Chrysler phobia
can sense that one and Chrysler phobia the fear of the color orange now who
the fear of the color orange now who
the fear of the color orange now who would fear an orange politician maybe
would fear an orange politician maybe
would fear an orange politician maybe that’s the root of some of this problem
but I ask everyone again what do you
but I ask everyone again what do you fear that is the question that was posed
fear that is the question that was posed
fear that is the question that was posed at the beginning and that’s very
at the beginning and that’s very
at the beginning and that’s very personal to you and it may be something
personal to you and it may be something
personal to you and it may be something that you hopefully from tonight we’ll
that you hopefully from tonight we’ll
that you hopefully from tonight we’ll think about embarking on challenging and
think about embarking on challenging and
think about embarking on challenging and that you will overcome what you fear not
that you will overcome what you fear not
that you will overcome what you fear not fear what you might become because small
fear what you might become because small
fear what you might become because small steps little steps can change those
steps little steps can change those
steps little steps can change those fears it might be reaching out for
fears it might be reaching out for
fears it might be reaching out for support for help it may be going online
support for help it may be going online
support for help it may be going online to turn to me or many of the other
to turn to me or many of the other
to turn to me or many of the other online services it may be confiding in
online services it may be confiding in
online services it may be confiding in someone it may be going to a cancer
someone it may be going to a cancer
someone it may be going to a cancer whatever it is confronted you can aika
whatever it is confronted you can aika
whatever it is confronted you can aika and weekend we can actually change and
and weekend we can actually change and
and weekend we can actually change and we can’t move beyond your fears thank
we can’t move beyond your fears thank
we can’t move beyond your fears thank you
”
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