one nice in the suburban park when I was 16 I got drunk on path days and I got
16 I got drunk on path days and I got
16 I got drunk on path days and I got woken up by a boy around my own age
woken up by a boy around my own age
woken up by a boy around my own age raping me I’d never had sex before I
raping me I’d never had sex before I
raping me I’d never had sex before I didn’t know what it was supposed to feel
didn’t know what it was supposed to feel
didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like or not feel like I’d heard it might
like or not feel like I’d heard it might
like or not feel like I’d heard it might hurt but this was a pain that I never
hurt but this was a pain that I never
hurt but this was a pain that I never experienced in my life
experienced in my life
experienced in my life thankfully I only remember small moments
thankfully I only remember small moments
thankfully I only remember small moments trapped in a frozen body I remember
trapped in a frozen body I remember
trapped in a frozen body I remember seeing the night sky between the tree
seeing the night sky between the tree
seeing the night sky between the tree branches above me and I remember the
branches above me and I remember the
branches above me and I remember the feeling of the damp grass and the twigs
feeling of the damp grass and the twigs
feeling of the damp grass and the twigs and the mud beneath me I remember that
and the mud beneath me I remember that
and the mud beneath me I remember that my head felt so heavy like it might sink
my head felt so heavy like it might sink
my head felt so heavy like it might sink into the ground and that was terror that
into the ground and that was terror that
into the ground and that was terror that quiet enduring and observing my
quiet enduring and observing my
quiet enduring and observing my surroundings as everything else shut off
surroundings as everything else shut off
surroundings as everything else shut off one by one that was pure terror and the
one by one that was pure terror and the
one by one that was pure terror and the freeze that I experienced in that moment
freeze that I experienced in that moment
freeze that I experienced in that moment seeped its way into the rest of my life
seeped its way into the rest of my life
seeped its way into the rest of my life and being so that I felt like I was in a
and being so that I felt like I was in a
and being so that I felt like I was in a near constant state of feeling stunned I
near constant state of feeling stunned I
near constant state of feeling stunned I was so afraid of feeling the pain and
was so afraid of feeling the pain and
was so afraid of feeling the pain and the shock and the sadness of what had
the shock and the sadness of what had
the shock and the sadness of what had happened that I blacked it out and
happened that I blacked it out and
happened that I blacked it out and shoved her down and I made it be okay
shoved her down and I made it be okay
shoved her down and I made it be okay I made it be okay in order to survive
what this type of trauma does is that it
what this type of trauma does is that it boxes you in it cuts you off in those
boxes you in it cuts you off in those
boxes you in it cuts you off in those places inside you that are creative
places inside you that are creative
places inside you that are creative spontaneous carefree light its toxicity
spontaneous carefree light its toxicity
spontaneous carefree light its toxicity rips through the beautiful resourcing
rips through the beautiful resourcing
rips through the beautiful resourcing things in life and everything is smeared
things in life and everything is smeared
things in life and everything is smeared with us it took me about a year to
with us it took me about a year to
with us it took me about a year to realize what had happened to me and in
realize what had happened to me and in
realize what had happened to me and in this year a kind of graininess or a dark
this year a kind of graininess or a dark
this year a kind of graininess or a dark and a settled like a veil between me and
and a settled like a veil between me and
and a settled like a veil between me and the rest of the world and I felt dirty
the rest of the world and I felt dirty
the rest of the world and I felt dirty and I still doing sometimes and I felt
and I still doing sometimes and I felt
and I still doing sometimes and I felt like I could be exposed at any moment as
like I could be exposed at any moment as
like I could be exposed at any moment as this worthless ruined broken thing and I
this worthless ruined broken thing and I
this worthless ruined broken thing and I still feel I thought sometimes that’s
still feel I thought sometimes that’s
still feel I thought sometimes that’s just the legacy of sexual violation and
just the legacy of sexual violation and
just the legacy of sexual violation and that’s just the legacy of having to
that’s just the legacy of having to
that’s just the legacy of having to carry a crime scene with you everywhere
carry a crime scene with you everywhere
carry a crime scene with you everywhere you go according to the Central
you go according to the Central
you go according to the Central Statistics Office approximately six
Statistics Office approximately six
Statistics Office approximately six people are sexually assaulted every day
people are sexually assaulted every day
people are sexually assaulted every day and more than one rate per day is
and more than one rate per day is
and more than one rate per day is committed but seventy percent of rapes
committed but seventy percent of rapes
committed but seventy percent of rapes do not get reported seventy percent so
do not get reported seventy percent so
do not get reported seventy percent so the actual number is more than two rapes
the actual number is more than two rapes
the actual number is more than two rapes a day committed in our tiny country and
a day committed in our tiny country and
a day committed in our tiny country and of the 30 percent that do get reported
of the 30 percent that do get reported
of the 30 percent that do get reported only 8 percent go to trial and only 2
only 8 percent go to trial and only 2
only 8 percent go to trial and only 2 percent and with conviction this means
percent and with conviction this means
percent and with conviction this means that there is an unthinkable number of
that there is an unthinkable number of
that there is an unthinkable number of men who have raped free to rape again we
men who have raped free to rape again we
men who have raped free to rape again we still minimize sexual violence we blame
still minimize sexual violence we blame
still minimize sexual violence we blame the victim question the victim don’t
the victim question the victim don’t
the victim question the victim don’t believe the victim say things like well
believe the victim say things like well
believe the victim say things like well we’ve only got one side of the story we
we’ve only got one side of the story we
we’ve only got one side of the story we have an excuse in attitude towards the
have an excuse in attitude towards the
have an excuse in attitude towards the perpetrators and a skeptical view of the
perpetrators and a skeptical view of the
perpetrators and a skeptical view of the victims we maintain that there are
victims we maintain that there are
victims we maintain that there are grades of rape some worse than others
grades of rape some worse than others
grades of rape some worse than others that there’s a difference between date
that there’s a difference between date
that there’s a difference between date rape forcible rape and rape rape that
rape forcible rape and rape rape that
rape forcible rape and rape rape that there’s a confusing gray area that I’m
there’s a confusing gray area that I’m
there’s a confusing gray area that I’m the kind of girl that gets raped that
the kind of girl that gets raped that
the kind of girl that gets raped that there is a kind of girl that gets raped
there is a kind of girl that gets raped
there is a kind of girl that gets raped that I brought it on myself that it
that I brought it on myself that it
that I brought it on myself that it wasn’t really rape but no one would
wasn’t really rape but no one would
wasn’t really rape but no one would believe you anyway there’s no point in
believe you anyway there’s no point in
believe you anyway there’s no point in reporting that that sure he didn’t mean
reporting that that sure he didn’t mean
reporting that that sure he didn’t mean it he was just chancing I thought it was
it he was just chancing I thought it was
it he was just chancing I thought it was my fault
and we absorb all of this and it’s 16 I
and we absorb all of this and it’s 16 I absorbed all of this and the total lack
absorbed all of this and the total lack
absorbed all of this and the total lack of a sense of security that occurs after
of a sense of security that occurs after
of a sense of security that occurs after such a sexual violation makes us
such a sexual violation makes us
such a sexual violation makes us withdraw when we are experiencing many
withdraw when we are experiencing many
withdraw when we are experiencing many complex layers of thoughts and feelings
complex layers of thoughts and feelings
complex layers of thoughts and feelings and beliefs inside feels like the safest
and beliefs inside feels like the safest
and beliefs inside feels like the safest place to go
place to go
place to go so as for telling anybody it had been a
so as for telling anybody it had been a
so as for telling anybody it had been a year I didn’t really want to cause a big
year I didn’t really want to cause a big
year I didn’t really want to cause a big drama and I was full of fears what if
drama and I was full of fears what if
drama and I was full of fears what if this changes how they see me or how much
this changes how they see me or how much
this changes how they see me or how much they love me what if they’re angry with
they love me what if they’re angry with
they love me what if they’re angry with me or they blame me what if they can’t
me or they blame me what if they can’t
me or they blame me what if they can’t cope with it emotionally what if they
cope with it emotionally what if they
cope with it emotionally what if they have too many questions to which I have
have too many questions to which I have
have too many questions to which I have no answers what if they don’t keep it to
no answers what if they don’t keep it to
no answers what if they don’t keep it to themselves what if I lose control over
themselves what if I lose control over
themselves what if I lose control over what happens next
what happens next
what happens next and the greatest fear of all what if
and the greatest fear of all what if
and the greatest fear of all what if they don’t believe me what then if they
they don’t believe me what then if they
they don’t believe me what then if they don’t believe me where am I supposed to
don’t believe me where am I supposed to
don’t believe me where am I supposed to put my pain then Who am I supposed to
put my pain then Who am I supposed to
put my pain then Who am I supposed to trust and over the years I experienced
trust and over the years I experienced
trust and over the years I experienced all their sexual assaults and some had
all their sexual assaults and some had
all their sexual assaults and some had an even worse impact on again the
an even worse impact on again the
an even worse impact on again the original rape and I started to read more
original rape and I started to read more
original rape and I started to read more and more about sexual violence trying to
and more about sexual violence trying to
and more about sexual violence trying to find some way to relate to connect to
find some way to relate to connect to
find some way to relate to connect to understand what happened to me and what
understand what happened to me and what
understand what happened to me and what happens to so many women and girls and
happens to so many women and girls and
happens to so many women and girls and to appease the sense of disease I was
to appease the sense of disease I was
to appease the sense of disease I was experiencing and after a few difficult
experiencing and after a few difficult
experiencing and after a few difficult years I was bursting with wanting to
years I was bursting with wanting to
years I was bursting with wanting to talk about all of this and I discovered
talk about all of this and I discovered
talk about all of this and I discovered that through writing I could have a
that through writing I could have a
that through writing I could have a little voice that I could use as anger
little voice that I could use as anger
little voice that I could use as anger and pain and wisdom I’d gain to
and pain and wisdom I’d gain to
and pain and wisdom I’d gain to highlight the injustice that a
highlight the injustice that a
highlight the injustice that a completely preventable crime is
completely preventable crime is
completely preventable crime is relegated in our attitudes and beliefs
relegated in our attitudes and beliefs
relegated in our attitudes and beliefs as some sort of inevitability as some
as some sort of inevitability as some
as some sort of inevitability as some sort of normality and I knew I would
sort of normality and I knew I would
sort of normality and I knew I would have to be very personal with my
have to be very personal with my
have to be very personal with my politics that in order to break anybody
politics that in order to break anybody
politics that in order to break anybody else’s silence I’d have to break my own
else’s silence I’d have to break my own
else’s silence I’d have to break my own but I found each step I took that I grew
but I found each step I took that I grew
but I found each step I took that I grew more confident in my opinions are more
more confident in my opinions are more
more confident in my opinions are more confident in my impatience and more
confident in my impatience and more
confident in my impatience and more confident in my anger and I found that
confident in my anger and I found that
confident in my anger and I found that sense of liberation that comes with
sense of liberation that comes with
sense of liberation that comes with being unapologetically true to yourself
being unapologetically true to yourself
being unapologetically true to yourself and I found beautiful kind strong parts
and I found beautiful kind strong parts
and I found beautiful kind strong parts of myself that I didn’t know were there
while we rightfully acknowledge the
while we rightfully acknowledge the bravery it takes for rape survivors to
bravery it takes for rape survivors to
bravery it takes for rape survivors to tell their stories we omit reflecting
tell their stories we omit reflecting
tell their stories we omit reflecting and why it is they have to be brave
and why it is they have to be brave
and why it is they have to be brave rape victims not only have to deal with
rape victims not only have to deal with
rape victims not only have to deal with the dark places and the fears within
the dark places and the fears within
the dark places and the fears within themselves but they have to deal with
themselves but they have to deal with
themselves but they have to deal with the dark places and fears within
the dark places and fears within
the dark places and fears within everybody else it shouldn’t be on rape
everybody else it shouldn’t be on rape
everybody else it shouldn’t be on rape survivors to tell their story
survivors to tell their story
survivors to tell their story sacrificing themselves over and over
sacrificing themselves over and over
sacrificing themselves over and over again and the hope for change what if we
again and the hope for change what if we
again and the hope for change what if we could all be brave enough curious enough
could all be brave enough curious enough
could all be brave enough curious enough so look at our own fears around rape and
so look at our own fears around rape and
so look at our own fears around rape and the men who commit us what if we could
the men who commit us what if we could
the men who commit us what if we could all non-judgmentally with self
all non-judgmentally with self
all non-judgmentally with self compassion explore and challenge our
compassion explore and challenge our
compassion explore and challenge our attitudes and beliefs and biases so that
attitudes and beliefs and biases so that
attitudes and beliefs and biases so that if they are but they no longer or
if they are but they no longer or
if they are but they no longer or helpfully affect how we engage on this
helpfully affect how we engage on this
helpfully affect how we engage on this topic the greatest thing I learned in my
topic the greatest thing I learned in my
topic the greatest thing I learned in my journey of becoming a therapist is the
journey of becoming a therapist is the
journey of becoming a therapist is the power of sitting with discomfort and I
power of sitting with discomfort and I
power of sitting with discomfort and I learned that changes and other people
learned that changes and other people
learned that changes and other people changes me it’s sitting with my own
changes me it’s sitting with my own
changes me it’s sitting with my own fears and anxieties that is the tough
fears and anxieties that is the tough
fears and anxieties that is the tough thing that needs the courage but also
thing that needs the courage but also
thing that needs the courage but also the thing which is the most
the thing which is the most
the thing which is the most transformative not just for me of the
transformative not just for me of the
transformative not just for me of the world I live in and self-reflection
world I live in and self-reflection
world I live in and self-reflection takes courage because it can be
takes courage because it can be
takes courage because it can be frightening we might see things we don’t
frightening we might see things we don’t
frightening we might see things we don’t want to see but change only happens when
want to see but change only happens when
want to see but change only happens when we are uncomfortable imagine for a
we are uncomfortable imagine for a
we are uncomfortable imagine for a moment what the world might look like if
moment what the world might look like if
moment what the world might look like if the stigma arraign being a rape victim
the stigma arraign being a rape victim
the stigma arraign being a rape victim didn’t exist if all of those damaging
didn’t exist if all of those damaging
didn’t exist if all of those damaging and harmful and dangerous prejudices and
and harmful and dangerous prejudices and
and harmful and dangerous prejudices and myths and biases and stereotypes and
myths and biases and stereotypes and
myths and biases and stereotypes and assumptions and stereotypes were gone
assumptions and stereotypes were gone
assumptions and stereotypes were gone hell rape victims would thrive and
hell rape victims would thrive and
hell rape victims would thrive and recover in a supportive Society like us
recover in a supportive Society like us
recover in a supportive Society like us and who those men who rape would have a
and who those men who rape would have a
and who those men who rape would have a lot less to hide behind oh you don’t
lot less to hide behind oh you don’t
lot less to hide behind oh you don’t want to be called brave for speaking
want to be called brave for speaking
want to be called brave for speaking about this anymore I want to live in a
about this anymore I want to live in a
about this anymore I want to live in a world in which I do not have to be brave
world in which I do not have to be brave
world in which I do not have to be brave and people are speaking up a lot more
and people are speaking up a lot more
and people are speaking up a lot more really bluntly a very brave but the
really bluntly a very brave but the
really bluntly a very brave but the spectrum of sexual violence but there
spectrum of sexual violence but there
spectrum of sexual violence but there are important voices missing voices that
are important voices missing voices that
are important voices missing voices that could work for a change from within 98%
could work for a change from within 98%
could work for a change from within 98% of rapists are men but we’re still
of rapists are men but we’re still
of rapists are men but we’re still afraid of causing offence by naming that
afraid of causing offence by naming that
afraid of causing offence by naming that truth 98% of rapists are men but we
truth 98% of rapists are men but we
truth 98% of rapists are men but we still call rape a woman’s issue isn’t it
still call rape a woman’s issue isn’t it
still call rape a woman’s issue isn’t it time that men were part of this
time that men were part of this
time that men were part of this conversation about their fellow man I
conversation about their fellow man I
conversation about their fellow man I bet their brothers and their uncles and
bet their brothers and their uncles and
bet their brothers and their uncles and their friends and their colleagues the
their friends and their colleagues the
their friends and their colleagues the President of Ireland wrote to me last
President of Ireland wrote to me last
President of Ireland wrote to me last year after I gave a speech on this theme
year after I gave a speech on this theme
year after I gave a speech on this theme as well and in his letter he said your
as well and in his letter he said your
as well and in his letter he said your speech is one of radical truth and this
speech is one of radical truth and this
speech is one of radical truth and this radical truth which I thought was just
radical truth which I thought was just
radical truth which I thought was just common sense is that as long as a non
common sense is that as long as a non
common sense is that as long as a non abuse of men are silent and passive and
abuse of men are silent and passive and
abuse of men are silent and passive and complacent on sexual violence as long as
complacent on sexual violence as long as
complacent on sexual violence as long as they think that has nothing to do with
they think that has nothing to do with
they think that has nothing to do with them because they are not a rapist then
them because they are not a rapist then
them because they are not a rapist then nothing will ever change nothing will
nothing will ever change nothing will
nothing will ever change nothing will ever change peer influence is our most
ever change peer influence is our most
ever change peer influence is our most powerful tool for social change we all
powerful tool for social change we all
powerful tool for social change we all want our behaviors beliefs to be
want our behaviors beliefs to be
want our behaviors beliefs to be accepted and condoned by the people in
accepted and condoned by the people in
accepted and condoned by the people in their lives we all want to belong and
their lives we all want to belong and
their lives we all want to belong and behavior is learnt so men can use this
behavior is learnt so men can use this
behavior is learnt so men can use this natural inclination by being explicit
natural inclination by being explicit
natural inclination by being explicit blunt and direct in their zero-tolerance
blunt and direct in their zero-tolerance
blunt and direct in their zero-tolerance attitude towards male violence against
attitude towards male violence against
attitude towards male violence against women and be a role model to men and
women and be a role model to men and
women and be a role model to men and boys I haven’t as irritants attitude is
boys I haven’t as irritants attitude is
boys I haven’t as irritants attitude is great but it’s totally meaningless
great but it’s totally meaningless
great but it’s totally meaningless unless you’re showing it to other people
unless you’re showing it to other people
unless you’re showing it to other people and that means not allowing male
and that means not allowing male
and that means not allowing male violence against women be a women’s
violence against women be a women’s
violence against women be a women’s issue anymore
those men among us
those men among us who are predatory who are inclined
who are predatory who are inclined
who are predatory who are inclined towards sexual violence they’re here in
towards sexual violence they’re here in
towards sexual violence they’re here in this room they’re people we know
91% of perpetrators are known to the
91% of perpetrators are known to the victim
victim
victim 91% of perpetrators are known to the
91% of perpetrators are known to the
91% of perpetrators are known to the victim this is as personal as it gets
victim this is as personal as it gets
victim this is as personal as it gets because those men aren’t watching me
because those men aren’t watching me
because those men aren’t watching me they’re not listening to me they’re
they’re not listening to me they’re
they’re not listening to me they’re watching what other men are doing saying
watching what other men are doing saying
watching what other men are doing saying and believing they’re watching their
and believing they’re watching their
and believing they’re watching their peers so they’re watching you so if
peers so they’re watching you so if
peers so they’re watching you so if you’re not saying no I’ll out what are
you’re not saying no I’ll out what are
you’re not saying no I’ll out what are you saying and who are you saying it to
you saying and who are you saying it to
you saying and who are you saying it to if we want to seem radical change this
if we want to seem radical change this
if we want to seem radical change this is the conversation men have to be
is the conversation men have to be
is the conversation men have to be having and it’s pity it’s not a man here
having and it’s pity it’s not a man here
having and it’s pity it’s not a man here saying this all I’m asking you to do was
saying this all I’m asking you to do was
saying this all I’m asking you to do was what you can where you can with what you
what you can where you can with what you
what you can where you can with what you have to give maybe it’s been the person
have to give maybe it’s been the person
have to give maybe it’s been the person who organizes the office fundraiser for
who organizes the office fundraiser for
who organizes the office fundraiser for the local rape crisis center or women’s
the local rape crisis center or women’s
the local rape crisis center or women’s refuge maybe it’s just having a
refuge maybe it’s just having a
refuge maybe it’s just having a conversation with a friend or calling
conversation with a friend or calling
conversation with a friend or calling out some dodgy behavior it’s up to you
out some dodgy behavior it’s up to you
out some dodgy behavior it’s up to you it’s doing whatever you can do in your
it’s doing whatever you can do in your
it’s doing whatever you can do in your sphere of life with your capabilities to
sphere of life with your capabilities to
sphere of life with your capabilities to explicitly demonstrate your attitude and
explicitly demonstrate your attitude and
explicitly demonstrate your attitude and there are some men here for whom this
there are some men here for whom this
there are some men here for whom this will resonate with more than others and
will resonate with more than others and
will resonate with more than others and that’s fine those men you are the change
that’s fine those men you are the change
that’s fine those men you are the change makers the example setters the role
makers the example setters the role
makers the example setters the role models the men or their mental or
models the men or their mental or
models the men or their mental or cooperating that’s what being a leader
cooperating that’s what being a leader
cooperating that’s what being a leader is taking the risk doing the scary thing
is taking the risk doing the scary thing
is taking the risk doing the scary thing say not in my name saying as a man I do
say not in my name saying as a man I do
say not in my name saying as a man I do not accept this from other men and I
not accept this from other men and I
not accept this from other men and I will fight against it because it is no
will fight against it because it is no
will fight against it because it is no longer enough to be just a man who cares
longer enough to be just a man who cares
longer enough to be just a man who cares this has to be not why me but how me how
this has to be not why me but how me how
this has to be not why me but how me how can I help what can I do
can I help what can I do
can I help what can I do and it takes bravery to interrupt the
and it takes bravery to interrupt the
and it takes bravery to interrupt the status quo to do things and to discuss
status quo to do things and to discuss
status quo to do things and to discuss things that usually women do and discuss
things that usually women do and discuss
things that usually women do and discuss you might be rightfully afraid or
you might be rightfully afraid or
you might be rightfully afraid or getting looks or comments or being
getting looks or comments or being
getting looks or comments or being questioned or being laughed at even you
questioned or being laughed at even you
questioned or being laughed at even you might be afraid of causing some sort of
might be afraid of causing some sort of
might be afraid of causing some sort of offence it might be uncomfortable but
offence it might be uncomfortable but
offence it might be uncomfortable but all this and more happens to rape
all this and more happens to rape
all this and more happens to rape survivors who speak out and days
survivors who speak out and days
survivors who speak out and days survive so start being the kind of man
survive so start being the kind of man
survive so start being the kind of man that a rape victim will call brave and
that a rape victim will call brave and
that a rape victim will call brave and it isn’t easy being here saying what I’m
it isn’t easy being here saying what I’m
it isn’t easy being here saying what I’m saying here this evening this isn’t a
saying here this evening this isn’t a
saying here this evening this isn’t a comfortable or easy message I’m going to
comfortable or easy message I’m going to
comfortable or easy message I’m going to experience awkwardness with people that
experience awkwardness with people that
experience awkwardness with people that I love in silence from people I love I’m
I love in silence from people I love I’m
I love in silence from people I love I’m going to experience friends purposefully
going to experience friends purposefully
going to experience friends purposefully avoiding certain topics of conversation
avoiding certain topics of conversation
avoiding certain topics of conversation I’m going to experience plenty of abuse
I’m going to experience plenty of abuse
I’m going to experience plenty of abuse of commentary online I’m going to
of commentary online I’m going to
of commentary online I’m going to experience vast assumptions and
experience vast assumptions and
experience vast assumptions and judgments be made about me but I’m not
judgments be made about me but I’m not
judgments be made about me but I’m not afraid because once you learn how to be
afraid because once you learn how to be
afraid because once you learn how to be comfortable to other people’s discomfort
comfortable to other people’s discomfort
comfortable to other people’s discomfort you can do it again and again and you’re
you can do it again and again and you’re
you can do it again and again and you’re stronger every time and your life will
stronger every time and your life will
stronger every time and your life will expand because that’s what living beyond
expand because that’s what living beyond
expand because that’s what living beyond yourself does the opposite of fear to me
yourself does the opposite of fear to me
yourself does the opposite of fear to me is not fearlessness or courage the
is not fearlessness or courage the
is not fearlessness or courage the opposite of fear to me is hope because
opposite of fear to me is hope because
opposite of fear to me is hope because while fear limitless help opens us to
while fear limitless help opens us to
while fear limitless help opens us to possibilities and my hope for life and
possibilities and my hope for life and
possibilities and my hope for life and for love and for humanity was never
for love and for humanity was never
for love and for humanity was never eroded by the boy who raped me or the
eroded by the boy who raped me or the
eroded by the boy who raped me or the man who came in my car window to
man who came in my car window to
man who came in my car window to sexually assault me or the trusted
sexually assault me or the trusted
sexually assault me or the trusted friend who gently violated me as I slept
friend who gently violated me as I slept
friend who gently violated me as I slept or any of the other men have hurt me
or any of the other men have hurt me
or any of the other men have hurt me over the years my hope has eroded
over the years my hope has eroded
over the years my hope has eroded everyday by the silence of good men and
everyday by the silence of good men and
everyday by the silence of good men and what I’ve learned over the last four
what I’ve learned over the last four
what I’ve learned over the last four years that courage rubs off and that we
years that courage rubs off and that we
years that courage rubs off and that we can’t be what we can’t see and when one
can’t be what we can’t see and when one
can’t be what we can’t see and when one person stands up they give permission to
person stands up they give permission to
person stands up they give permission to other people to also stand up and when a
other people to also stand up and when a
other people to also stand up and when a man stands up in solidarity with rape
man stands up in solidarity with rape
man stands up in solidarity with rape victims and with conviction to fight for
victims and with conviction to fight for
victims and with conviction to fight for change I wish I could articulate what
change I wish I could articulate what
change I wish I could articulate what that sense of hope feels like it is a
that sense of hope feels like it is a
that sense of hope feels like it is a hope that brings me to tears for the
hope that brings me to tears for the
hope that brings me to tears for the beauty of it it is that hope that makes
beauty of it it is that hope that makes
beauty of it it is that hope that makes all the work I do and all the risks I
all the work I do and all the risks I
all the work I do and all the risks I take worthwhile fighting sexual violence
take worthwhile fighting sexual violence
take worthwhile fighting sexual violence is a war another battle we all need to
is a war another battle we all need to
is a war another battle we all need to commit to work together to keep
commit to work together to keep
commit to work together to keep listening to keep listening
listening to keep listening
listening to keep listening keep hoping be brave and keep fighting
keep hoping be brave and keep fighting
keep hoping be brave and keep fighting because each person here in this room
because each person here in this room
because each person here in this room has the power to change their own words
my greatest fear is silence and I’ve
my greatest fear is silence and I’ve broken my silence I’ve gone beyond my
broken my silence I’ve gone beyond my
broken my silence I’ve gone beyond my fear I’m asking the men in this room to
fear I’m asking the men in this room to
fear I’m asking the men in this room to go beyond Joyce thank you for listening
”
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