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Does it Matter? The role of validation in success | Ethel Cofie | TEDxAccraWomen


so I have been very blessed in life I

so I have been very blessed in life I have had parents that have given me the

have had parents that have given me the

have had parents that have given me the external permission and external

external permission and external

external permission and external validation to be all that I need to be

validation to be all that I need to be

validation to be all that I need to be now sometimes I honestly believe that my

now sometimes I honestly believe that my

now sometimes I honestly believe that my parents have more of a belief in my

parents have more of a belief in my

parents have more of a belief in my abilities than I do in myself now I’ll

abilities than I do in myself now I’ll

abilities than I do in myself now I’ll give you two examples

give you two examples

give you two examples so even when my mother didn’t agree am i

so even when my mother didn’t agree am i

so even when my mother didn’t agree am i leaving my job to become an entrepreneur

leaving my job to become an entrepreneur

leaving my job to become an entrepreneur she would still say things like you know

she would still say things like you know

she would still say things like you know you could be running Google in Africa or

you could be running Google in Africa or

you could be running Google in Africa or you could even be the country manager

you could even be the country manager

you could even be the country manager for Microsoft in Ghana or there’s a

for Microsoft in Ghana or there’s a

for Microsoft in Ghana or there’s a really hilarious story from a few months

really hilarious story from a few months

really hilarious story from a few months ago when Mark Zuckerberg came to Africa

ago when Mark Zuckerberg came to Africa

ago when Mark Zuckerberg came to Africa when I say Africa he came to Kenya came

when I say Africa he came to Kenya came

when I say Africa he came to Kenya came to Nigeria didn’t come to Ghana and

apparently my mother and her doctor had

apparently my mother and her doctor had this oddly serious conversation about

this oddly serious conversation about

this oddly serious conversation about why I hadn’t managed to bring Mexico

why I hadn’t managed to bring Mexico

why I hadn’t managed to bring Mexico back to Ghana so um I do have a lot of

back to Ghana so um I do have a lot of

back to Ghana so um I do have a lot of friends that work for Facebook globally

friends that work for Facebook globally

friends that work for Facebook globally but I’m not friends with my Zuckerberg

but I’m not friends with my Zuckerberg

but I’m not friends with my Zuckerberg well at least not yet I’ve also always

well at least not yet I’ve also always

well at least not yet I’ve also always had permission to film before I was

had permission to film before I was

had permission to film before I was named one of the top five women

named one of the top five women

named one of the top five women influencing technology in Africa or

influencing technology in Africa or

influencing technology in Africa or before I started my company adult

before I started my company adult

before I started my company adult technology consulting that became IT

technology consulting that became IT

technology consulting that became IT consulting firm of a year or before I

consulting firm of a year or before I

consulting firm of a year or before I found that women in tech Africa which is

found that women in tech Africa which is

found that women in tech Africa which is the largest women in tech group on the

the largest women in tech group on the

the largest women in tech group on the continent in 30 African countries I was

continent in 30 African countries I was

continent in 30 African countries I was the girl that left her nice job in

the girl that left her nice job in

the girl that left her nice job in London to come to Ghana to start a

London to come to Ghana to start a

London to come to Ghana to start a business fulfilled even in that they

business fulfilled even in that they

business fulfilled even in that they believed it was the journey for my

believed it was the journey for my

believed it was the journey for my greatness I’ve always had external

greatness I’ve always had external

greatness I’ve always had external permission external validation to be

permission external validation to be

permission external validation to be whom I want to be

whom I want to be

whom I want to be but this is life now when we want the IT

but this is life now when we want the IT

but this is life now when we want the IT consulting firm of the year as it is

consulting firm of the year as it is

consulting firm of the year as it is with these things there’s a lot of

with these things there’s a lot of

with these things there’s a lot of congratulations there’s an amazing

congratulations there’s an amazing

congratulations there’s an amazing letter not an email a letter from an

letter not an email a letter from an

letter not an email a letter from an amazing woman in leadership in this

amazing woman in leadership in this

amazing woman in leadership in this country in the letter she sends me said

country in the letter she sends me said

country in the letter she sends me said because you stand up to share your

because you stand up to share your

because you stand up to share your talents and your gifts with the world

talents and your gifts with the world

talents and your gifts with the world you are blessing to your generation and

you are blessing to your generation and

you are blessing to your generation and I read that letter in times in hard

I read that letter in times in hard

I read that letter in times in hard times but also I noticed that there was

times but also I noticed that there was

times but also I noticed that there was a small group of people that I looked up

a small group of people that I looked up

a small group of people that I looked up to that were really silent that said

to that were really silent that said

to that were really silent that said nothing I brushed it aside I thought you

nothing I brushed it aside I thought you

nothing I brushed it aside I thought you know there’s nothing there then we won a

know there’s nothing there then we won a

know there’s nothing there then we won a bunch of other awards then the words

bunch of other awards then the words

bunch of other awards then the words came oh boy that the way it’s come now

came oh boy that the way it’s come now

came oh boy that the way it’s come now one intrapreneur who himself has won

one intrapreneur who himself has won

one intrapreneur who himself has won awards many many awards and with

awards many many awards and with

awards many many awards and with somebody that I look up to and respected

somebody that I look up to and respected

somebody that I look up to and respected when asked about my achievements said

when asked about my achievements said

when asked about my achievements said quite simply why are they just handing

quite simply why are they just handing

quite simply why are they just handing our to anybody these days and the second

our to anybody these days and the second

our to anybody these days and the second one who was listening to me talk about

one who was listening to me talk about

one who was listening to me talk about my entrepreneurial journey on radio

my entrepreneurial journey on radio

my entrepreneurial journey on radio turns her friend and said this girl

turns her friend and said this girl

turns her friend and said this girl clearly does not know what she is about

clearly does not know what she is about

clearly does not know what she is about and it shows you know these things would

and it shows you know these things would

and it shows you know these things would not have bothered me because I’m pretty

not have bothered me because I’m pretty

not have bothered me because I’m pretty thick-skinned would not have bothered me

thick-skinned would not have bothered me

thick-skinned would not have bothered me the remedies were not people that I

the remedies were not people that I

the remedies were not people that I looked up to and respected and people

looked up to and respected and people

looked up to and respected and people that were legends that I loved and it

that were legends that I loved and it

that were legends that I loved and it bothered me and it worried me and

bothered me and it worried me and

bothered me and it worried me and invariably with these things I began to

invariably with these things I began to

invariably with these things I began to make myself smaller when people would

make myself smaller when people would

make myself smaller when people would talk to me and congratulate me on on my

talk to me and congratulate me on on my

talk to me and congratulate me on on my achievements I would say something like

achievements I would say something like

achievements I would say something like you know don’t believe the hype it’s

you know don’t believe the hype it’s

you know don’t believe the hype it’s nothing

nothing

nothing when at the beginning of the year I had

when at the beginning of the year I had

when at the beginning of the year I had a wonderful amazing idea and vision of

a wonderful amazing idea and vision of

a wonderful amazing idea and vision of creating a global women in tech event

creating a global women in tech event

creating a global women in tech event coming out of Africa I choked and I

coming out of Africa I choked and I

coming out of Africa I choked and I thought maybe I’m being too big for my

thought maybe I’m being too big for my

thought maybe I’m being too big for my shoes maybe I’m being too ambitious

shoes maybe I’m being too ambitious

shoes maybe I’m being too ambitious maybe I need to step back I thought

maybe I need to step back I thought

maybe I need to step back I thought about it and I thought about it and then

about it and I thought about it and then

about it and I thought about it and then I thought about it a little more then I

I thought about it a little more then I

I thought about it a little more then I asked myself a simple question does it

asked myself a simple question does it

asked myself a simple question does it matter does it matter that people that I

matter does it matter that people that I

matter does it matter that people that I looked up to and respected even if it’s

looked up to and respected even if it’s

looked up to and respected even if it’s a small group did not believe in the

a small group did not believe in the

a small group did not believe in the hard work that we had put in does it

hard work that we had put in does it

hard work that we had put in does it matter that did not believe in what we

matter that did not believe in what we

matter that did not believe in what we had achieved did it change any of the

had achieved did it change any of the

had achieved did it change any of the things that we had achieved did it

things that we had achieved did it

things that we had achieved did it change the impact and influence that we

change the impact and influence that we

change the impact and influence that we had and then I realized it didn’t matter

had and then I realized it didn’t matter

had and then I realized it didn’t matter it didn’t matter what they thought it

it didn’t matter what they thought it

it didn’t matter what they thought it didn’t matter what they said I’ll tell

didn’t matter what they said I’ll tell

didn’t matter what they said I’ll tell you another scary story so Dropbox which

you another scary story so Dropbox which

you another scary story so Dropbox which is the file storage platform that allows

is the file storage platform that allows

is the file storage platform that allows you to access your files everywhere in

you to access your files everywhere in

you to access your files everywhere in the world at the very beginning of

the world at the very beginning of

the world at the very beginning of Dropbox the legendary Steve Jobs went on

Dropbox the legendary Steve Jobs went on

Dropbox the legendary Steve Jobs went on a very public tirade against Dropbox he

a very public tirade against Dropbox he

a very public tirade against Dropbox he said things at conferences like it’s a

said things at conferences like it’s a

said things at conferences like it’s a feature it’s not a product they won’t

feature it’s not a product they won’t

feature it’s not a product they won’t last

last

last Dropbox today is a ten billion dollar

Dropbox today is a ten billion dollar

Dropbox today is a ten billion dollar company they did not only survive they

company they did not only survive they

company they did not only survive they thrived we have not only survived

thrived we have not only survived

thrived we have not only survived we have thrived we want to more Awards

we have thrived we want to more Awards

we have thrived we want to more Awards and my thoughts on technology and

and my thoughts on technology and

and my thoughts on technology and emerging market and innovation have been

emerging market and innovation have been

emerging market and innovation have been shared widely in global publications

shared widely in global publications

shared widely in global publications like wide UK European Business Review

like wide UK European Business Review

like wide UK European Business Review Africa business and CNN and BBC but you

Africa business and CNN and BBC but you

Africa business and CNN and BBC but you see I don’t say these things for us to

see I don’t say these things for us to

see I don’t say these things for us to hate the people that do not necessarily

hate the people that do not necessarily

hate the people that do not necessarily support us I say these things because

support us I say these things because

support us I say these things because invariably when you stand to show your

invariably when you stand to show your

invariably when you stand to show your gifts and your talents in the world you

gifts and your talents in the world you

gifts and your talents in the world you will naturally stay

will naturally stay

will naturally stay some insecurities in others it is not

some insecurities in others it is not

some insecurities in others it is not your job to soothe those insecurities

external validation is great and I’ve

external validation is great and I’ve had wonderful validation in my life but

had wonderful validation in my life but

had wonderful validation in my life but to be truly great you need to give

to be truly great you need to give

to be truly great you need to give yourself internal permission and

yourself internal permission and

yourself internal permission and internal validation

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