hi everybody um okay when I first thought of what to
um okay when I first thought of what to
um okay when I first thought of what to share with you guys today I would need
share with you guys today I would need
share with you guys today I would need to know where to start exactly because
to know where to start exactly because
to know where to start exactly because I’m sure you know I’m talking about I’m
I’m sure you know I’m talking about I’m
I’m sure you know I’m talking about I’m an actor and from an actor’s point of
an actor and from an actor’s point of
an actor and from an actor’s point of view the theme uncertainty really is
view the theme uncertainty really is
view the theme uncertainty really is basically the essence and also the
basically the essence and also the
basically the essence and also the beauty of my job from day one in the
beauty of my job from day one in the
beauty of my job from day one in the Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts
Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts
Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts where I studied drama until this very
where I studied drama until this very
where I studied drama until this very day the whole process of becoming an
day the whole process of becoming an
day the whole process of becoming an actor has been filled with numerous
actor has been filled with numerous
actor has been filled with numerous question marks and doubts and
question marks and doubts and
question marks and doubts and uncertainties along the way I mean it’s
uncertainties along the way I mean it’s
uncertainties along the way I mean it’s not like playing piano where you can
not like playing piano where you can
not like playing piano where you can open the book and you read the score and
open the book and you read the score and
open the book and you read the score and you know what notes to play next it’s
you know what notes to play next it’s
you know what notes to play next it’s totally different from like cooking
totally different from like cooking
totally different from like cooking where you could follow the instructions
where you could follow the instructions
where you could follow the instructions of a cookbook and know how to make a
of a cookbook and know how to make a
of a cookbook and know how to make a perfect apple pie as actors there are no
perfect apple pie as actors there are no
perfect apple pie as actors there are no books there are no scores to follow
books there are no scores to follow
books there are no scores to follow there are no directions there is no
there are no directions there is no
there are no directions there is no step-by-step manual I have to read books
step-by-step manual I have to read books
step-by-step manual I have to read books I have to watch shows I have to watch
I have to watch shows I have to watch
I have to watch shows I have to watch movies I have to do research to explore
movies I have to do research to explore
movies I have to do research to explore how to try I will fail and I have to try
how to try I will fail and I have to try
how to try I will fail and I have to try again because there are no clear
again because there are no clear
again because there are no clear directions for an actor how to act or
directions for an actor how to act or
directions for an actor how to act or where should I go am i doing the right
where should I go am i doing the right
where should I go am i doing the right thing there are no checkpoints it’s not
thing there are no checkpoints it’s not
thing there are no checkpoints it’s not like oh hey I can cry in five seconds
like oh hey I can cry in five seconds
like oh hey I can cry in five seconds yeah woohoo I’m a great actress no that
yeah woohoo I’m a great actress no that
yeah woohoo I’m a great actress no that doesn’t work that way but however that
doesn’t work that way but however that
doesn’t work that way but however that is a fun part of it there are no
is a fun part of it there are no
is a fun part of it there are no guidance so I have to come up with my
guidance so I have to come up with my
guidance so I have to come up with my own when I was still in school studying
own when I was still in school studying
own when I was still in school studying drama I was in this production and one
drama I was in this production and one
drama I was in this production and one day during rehearsal I came up with an
day during rehearsal I came up with an
day during rehearsal I came up with an idea that I wanted to add some sort of
idea that I wanted to add some sort of
idea that I wanted to add some sort of gestures to my character I wanted to
gestures to my character I wanted to
gestures to my character I wanted to talk in a certain way but I wasn’t sure
talk in a certain way but I wasn’t sure
talk in a certain way but I wasn’t sure if I could do that because
if I could do that because
if I could do that because it wasn’t written on the script there
it wasn’t written on the script there
it wasn’t written on the script there were no signs and in the whole script
were no signs and in the whole script
were no signs and in the whole script that this character would behave this
that this character would behave this
that this character would behave this way or would talk this way so I did not
way or would talk this way so I did not
way or would talk this way so I did not know if I could do it if it was right or
know if I could do it if it was right or
know if I could do it if it was right or not so I didn’t try it I just kind of
not so I didn’t try it I just kind of
not so I didn’t try it I just kind of talked to my director and I told him
talked to my director and I told him
talked to my director and I told him this idea that I had and I asked him do
this idea that I had and I asked him do
this idea that I had and I asked him do you think this character would do this
you think this character would do this
you think this character would do this and thinking that would get a good
and thinking that would get a good
and thinking that would get a good answer because he was a director right
answer because he was a director right
answer because he was a director right he simply replied who knows not even the
he simply replied who knows not even the
he simply replied who knows not even the playwright knows he only wrote that
playwright knows he only wrote that
playwright knows he only wrote that character on the script he doesn’t know
character on the script he doesn’t know
character on the script he doesn’t know how it is in real life
how it is in real life
how it is in real life it’s a fictional character he wrote out
it’s a fictional character he wrote out
it’s a fictional character he wrote out the outlook
the outlook
the outlook he wrote the characters likes and
he wrote the characters likes and
he wrote the characters likes and dislikes his habits his background and
dislikes his habits his background and
dislikes his habits his background and that’s it you as the actor your job is
that’s it you as the actor your job is
that’s it you as the actor your job is to gather all that information and bring
to gather all that information and bring
to gather all that information and bring it to life
it to life
it to life adding your own interpretation adding
adding your own interpretation adding
adding your own interpretation adding your own touch so go ahead and try what
your own touch so go ahead and try what
your own touch so go ahead and try what it is you want to try during rehearsals
it is you want to try during rehearsals
it is you want to try during rehearsals and I will see if it’s it works or not
and I will see if it’s it works or not
and I will see if it’s it works or not maybe it will maybe it won’t you will
maybe it will maybe it won’t you will
maybe it will maybe it won’t you will never know if you don’t try you never
never know if you don’t try you never
never know if you don’t try you never know if you don’t try those seven words
know if you don’t try those seven words
know if you don’t try those seven words stuck with me ever since I mean come on
stuck with me ever since I mean come on
stuck with me ever since I mean come on it’s very easy and very comfortable to
it’s very easy and very comfortable to
it’s very easy and very comfortable to just sit there and think what if I did
just sit there and think what if I did
just sit there and think what if I did this what if that happened what if I
this what if that happened what if I
this what if that happened what if I gone out and do something crazy uh-huh I
gone out and do something crazy uh-huh I
gone out and do something crazy uh-huh I don’t know it’s so comfortable to sit
don’t know it’s so comfortable to sit
don’t know it’s so comfortable to sit there and wander in your head then to
there and wander in your head then to
there and wander in your head then to take action and really try you risk
take action and really try you risk
take action and really try you risk nothing just sitting there in your head
nothing just sitting there in your head
nothing just sitting there in your head but if you really step out and do
but if you really step out and do
but if you really step out and do something and take action you risk
something and take action you risk
something and take action you risk looking stupid yeah is that correct that
looking stupid yeah is that correct that
looking stupid yeah is that correct that is for me I mean that is my fear I fear
is for me I mean that is my fear I fear
is for me I mean that is my fear I fear of looking stupid in front of people
of looking stupid in front of people
of looking stupid in front of people when I try something that no one’s done
when I try something that no one’s done
when I try something that no one’s done before a show of hands who feels the
before a show of hands who feels the
before a show of hands who feels the same
same
same buddy yeah thank you it’s normal because
buddy yeah thank you it’s normal because
buddy yeah thank you it’s normal because it’s normal it’s human nature but if I
it’s normal it’s human nature but if I
it’s normal it’s human nature but if I want to stand out if I want to make an
want to stand out if I want to make an
want to stand out if I want to make an impression
impression
impression if I want to try that crazy idea I have
if I want to try that crazy idea I have
if I want to try that crazy idea I have in my mind I have to take that risk and
in my mind I have to take that risk and
in my mind I have to take that risk and guess what I’ve done it so many times
guess what I’ve done it so many times
guess what I’ve done it so many times and up all the times I looked really
and up all the times I looked really
and up all the times I looked really stupid I really did but then I realized
stupid I really did but then I realized
stupid I really did but then I realized hey that’s fine I mean I didn’t lose
hey that’s fine I mean I didn’t lose
hey that’s fine I mean I didn’t lose anything I didn’t hurt myself in the
anything I didn’t hurt myself in the
anything I didn’t hurt myself in the process I tried I may look like a fool
process I tried I may look like a fool
process I tried I may look like a fool but I gained something and what I gained
but I gained something and what I gained
but I gained something and what I gained was I felt more and more comfortable
was I felt more and more comfortable
was I felt more and more comfortable with taking that action trying I found
with taking that action trying I found
with taking that action trying I found easier ways smarter ways to go around it
easier ways smarter ways to go around it
easier ways smarter ways to go around it I became more open open in a sense that
I became more open open in a sense that
I became more open open in a sense that I’m not just stuck with whatever is
I’m not just stuck with whatever is
I’m not just stuck with whatever is going on here in my head I’m more open
going on here in my head I’m more open
going on here in my head I’m more open with what is outside my head what is
with what is outside my head what is
with what is outside my head what is going on with my body or my surroundings
going on with my body or my surroundings
going on with my body or my surroundings here’s one example I graduated in 2006
here’s one example I graduated in 2006
here’s one example I graduated in 2006 and after that I got a few invitations
and after that I got a few invitations
and after that I got a few invitations to be the emcees of different shows or
to be the emcees of different shows or
to be the emcees of different shows or events 10 out of 10 times I turned them
events 10 out of 10 times I turned them
events 10 out of 10 times I turned them down the reason is I did not think that
down the reason is I did not think that
down the reason is I did not think that I had what it takes to be an emcee come
I had what it takes to be an emcee come
I had what it takes to be an emcee come on you need to be quick you need to be
on you need to be quick you need to be
on you need to be quick you need to be fast I mean what if something happens
fast I mean what if something happens
fast I mean what if something happens you have to know how to handle this
you have to know how to handle this
you have to know how to handle this situation you have to know how to
situation you have to know how to
situation you have to know how to entertain the audience if something
entertain the audience if something
entertain the audience if something happens I did not think I could do that
happens I did not think I could do that
happens I did not think I could do that I need a script I’m an actor I don’t
I need a script I’m an actor I don’t
I need a script I’m an actor I don’t know how to improvise anything too
know how to improvise anything too
know how to improvise anything too you know entertaining you so I’m always
you know entertaining you so I’m always
you know entertaining you so I’m always afraid of that so I said no thank you
afraid of that so I said no thank you
afraid of that so I said no thank you I’m sorry I can’t I can’t be the emcee
I’m sorry I can’t I can’t be the emcee
I’m sorry I can’t I can’t be the emcee and then after a while I got an
and then after a while I got an
and then after a while I got an invitation again and this time is for a
invitation again and this time is for a
invitation again and this time is for a big company it was their 25th
big company it was their 25th
big company it was their 25th anniversary they wanted to have a
anniversary they wanted to have a
anniversary they wanted to have a variety show and they wanted me to be
variety show and they wanted me to be
variety show and they wanted me to be the emcee and so I was there thinking
the emcee and so I was there thinking
the emcee and so I was there thinking and the conversations started in my head
and the conversations started in my head
and the conversations started in my head don’t don’t do it just don’t do it
don’t don’t do it just don’t do it
don’t don’t do it just don’t do it you’re not gonna you’re not gonna be
you’re not gonna you’re not gonna be
you’re not gonna you’re not gonna be able to do it why not I mean many people
able to do it why not I mean many people
able to do it why not I mean many people asked me to do it I’ve been turning down
asked me to do it I’ve been turning down
asked me to do it I’ve been turning down so many times then turned on this one –
so many times then turned on this one –
so many times then turned on this one – what’s the difference don’t do it I mean
what’s the difference don’t do it I mean
what’s the difference don’t do it I mean you’re gonna mess it up maybe not maybe
you’re gonna mess it up maybe not maybe
you’re gonna mess it up maybe not maybe I could maybe it’s easy no it’s not
I could maybe it’s easy no it’s not
I could maybe it’s easy no it’s not gonna be easy you’re gonna mess it up –
gonna be easy you’re gonna mess it up –
gonna be easy you’re gonna mess it up – turn it down okay fine I told myself
turn it down okay fine I told myself
turn it down okay fine I told myself I’ll never know if I don’t try I’ve
I’ll never know if I don’t try I’ve
I’ll never know if I don’t try I’ve turned it down so many times and it
turned it down so many times and it
turned it down so many times and it keeps coming back so hey I told myself
keeps coming back so hey I told myself
keeps coming back so hey I told myself challenge accepted that voice just shut
challenge accepted that voice just shut
challenge accepted that voice just shut up and I said on the phone okay I’ll
up and I said on the phone okay I’ll
up and I said on the phone okay I’ll take this job I hung up I’m so confident
take this job I hung up I’m so confident
take this job I hung up I’m so confident I told myself I’m gonna try this and
I told myself I’m gonna try this and
I told myself I’m gonna try this and it’s gonna be fine
it’s gonna be fine
it’s gonna be fine in a perfect world yeah it’s gonna be
in a perfect world yeah it’s gonna be
in a perfect world yeah it’s gonna be fine it’s not a perfect world
fine it’s not a perfect world
fine it’s not a perfect world of course if something happened so but
of course if something happened so but
of course if something happened so but they came I was emceeing my way onstage
they came I was emceeing my way onstage
they came I was emceeing my way onstage it was smooth it was fine and then there
it was smooth it was fine and then there
it was smooth it was fine and then there was this part where there would be a few
was this part where there would be a few
was this part where there would be a few musicians on stage they would play music
musicians on stage they would play music
musicians on stage they would play music with some very rare Chinese instruments
with some very rare Chinese instruments
with some very rare Chinese instruments that I’ve never seen before
that I’ve never seen before
that I’ve never seen before so they were playing the music and the
so they were playing the music and the
so they were playing the music and the next event was to have the whole company
next event was to have the whole company
next event was to have the whole company go onstage to do a cake cutting ceremony
go onstage to do a cake cutting ceremony
go onstage to do a cake cutting ceremony and I had to invite all the people from
and I had to invite all the people from
and I had to invite all the people from the company they were like 20 30 20 to
the company they were like 20 30 20 to
the company they were like 20 30 20 to 30 people so okay that was gonna come up
30 people so okay that was gonna come up
30 people so okay that was gonna come up next and I was off stage waiting for the
next and I was off stage waiting for the
next and I was off stage waiting for the musicians to finish I was taking a break
musicians to finish I was taking a break
musicians to finish I was taking a break and then the project manager of the
and then the project manager of the
and then the project manager of the whole event came to me and she whispered
whole event came to me and she whispered
whole event came to me and she whispered in my ears she said
in my ears she said
in my ears she said after the musicians have finished we
after the musicians have finished we
after the musicians have finished we can’t do the cake-cutting ceremony
can’t do the cake-cutting ceremony
can’t do the cake-cutting ceremony because they haven’t all arrived yet so
because they haven’t all arrived yet so
because they haven’t all arrived yet so you go do something I swear to God my
you go do something I swear to God my
you go do something I swear to God my armpits were so wet I could have taken a
armpits were so wet I could have taken a
armpits were so wet I could have taken a shower I totally freaked out I did not
shower I totally freaked out I did not
shower I totally freaked out I did not know what to do I just stood there and I
know what to do I just stood there and I
know what to do I just stood there and I froze literally froze I did not know
froze literally froze I did not know
froze literally froze I did not know what was going on outside me all I could
what was going on outside me all I could
what was going on outside me all I could hear was what I’m gonna do what I’m
hear was what I’m gonna do what I’m
hear was what I’m gonna do what I’m gonna say I should go up there and tell
gonna say I should go up there and tell
gonna say I should go up there and tell a joke or what kind of joke knock-knock
a joke or what kind of joke knock-knock
a joke or what kind of joke knock-knock jokes no no knock-knock jokes I can’t do
jokes no no knock-knock jokes I can’t do
jokes no no knock-knock jokes I can’t do any not not just what I’m gonna say
any not not just what I’m gonna say
any not not just what I’m gonna say about the weather what’s there to talk
about the weather what’s there to talk
about the weather what’s there to talk by the way there’s something shining
by the way there’s something shining
by the way there’s something shining well that’s great that’s it period I
well that’s great that’s it period I
well that’s great that’s it period I don’t know what to do and I just closed
don’t know what to do and I just closed
don’t know what to do and I just closed myself you know I was unaware of what
myself you know I was unaware of what
myself you know I was unaware of what was going on until I heard the applause
was going on until I heard the applause
was going on until I heard the applause from the audience it was done at a mall
from the audience it was done at a mall
from the audience it was done at a mall they’re like 80s a hundred people over
they’re like 80s a hundred people over
they’re like 80s a hundred people over there and they were applauding because
there and they were applauding because
there and they were applauding because the musicians have finished
the musicians have finished
the musicians have finished I still haven’t come up with anything so
I still haven’t come up with anything so
I still haven’t come up with anything so I started to walk up on stage and then I
I started to walk up on stage and then I
I started to walk up on stage and then I just kind of turned and looked at the
just kind of turned and looked at the
just kind of turned and looked at the project manager she was standing over
project manager she was standing over
project manager she was standing over there I kind of want to you know signal
there I kind of want to you know signal
there I kind of want to you know signal her like make sure are you sure they’re
her like make sure are you sure they’re
her like make sure are you sure they’re not here yet are you sure we can’t do
not here yet are you sure we can’t do
not here yet are you sure we can’t do the cake cutting ceremony and she’s
the cake cutting ceremony and she’s
the cake cutting ceremony and she’s standing there looking at me no so I got
standing there looking at me no so I got
standing there looking at me no so I got up and I just blanked out I just told
up and I just blanked out I just told
up and I just blanked out I just told this voice okay cut it out just shut up
this voice okay cut it out just shut up
this voice okay cut it out just shut up and I looked at them and I looked at the
and I looked at them and I looked at the
and I looked at them and I looked at the audience and they were oh yeah and so I
audience and they were oh yeah and so I
audience and they were oh yeah and so I took that and I said yes if they were
took that and I said yes if they were
took that and I said yes if they were great right let’s give them another
great right let’s give them another
great right let’s give them another round of applause come on let’s do that
round of applause come on let’s do that
round of applause come on let’s do that and then they were done I mean it didn’t
and then they were done I mean it didn’t
and then they were done I mean it didn’t last for too long right and then I
last for too long right and then I
last for too long right and then I looked at the musicians and I said great
looked at the musicians and I said great
looked at the musicians and I said great job I mean that was wonderful and then I
job I mean that was wonderful and then I
job I mean that was wonderful and then I looked and I saw their instruments were
looked and I saw their instruments were
looked and I saw their instruments were very weird looking I’ve never seen them
very weird looking I’ve never seen them
very weird looking I’ve never seen them before
before
before and so I just kept on talking I just
and so I just kept on talking I just
and so I just kept on talking I just said wow that looks like a very special
said wow that looks like a very special
said wow that looks like a very special instrument
instrument
instrument from is there any history behind that
from is there any history behind that
from is there any history behind that can you maybe explain to us a little bit
can you maybe explain to us a little bit
can you maybe explain to us a little bit I’m sure everybody is interested to know
I’m sure everybody is interested to know
I’m sure everybody is interested to know right right you want to know right and
right right you want to know right and
right right you want to know right and so they were yeah yeah yeah so he
so they were yeah yeah yeah so he
so they were yeah yeah yeah so he started talking Wow such I really
started talking Wow such I really
started talking Wow such I really believe and I thought well that should
believe and I thought well that should
believe and I thought well that should be it right by the time you finish they
be it right by the time you finish they
be it right by the time you finish they should have arrived and I could go on
should have arrived and I could go on
should have arrived and I could go on with a cake cutting ceremony and so when
with a cake cutting ceremony and so when
with a cake cutting ceremony and so when he was talking and then I leaned back
he was talking and then I leaned back
he was talking and then I leaned back we’ll eventually look looked at the
we’ll eventually look looked at the
we’ll eventually look looked at the project manager again and she just stood
project manager again and she just stood
project manager again and she just stood there look at me no made uh-uh no I just
there look at me no made uh-uh no I just
there look at me no made uh-uh no I just continued the same thing and thank God
continued the same thing and thank God
continued the same thing and thank God there was another musician with another
there was another musician with another
there was another musician with another weird-looking instrument and so I did
weird-looking instrument and so I did
weird-looking instrument and so I did the same thing thank you very much that
the same thing thank you very much that
the same thing thank you very much that one also looks pretty interesting you
one also looks pretty interesting you
one also looks pretty interesting you know I’ve never seen that before
know I’ve never seen that before
know I’ve never seen that before can you maybe demonstrate a little bit
can you maybe demonstrate a little bit
can you maybe demonstrate a little bit more and they were so nice they played
more and they were so nice they played
more and they were so nice they played another piece of music and thankfully
another piece of music and thankfully
another piece of music and thankfully after that I looked at the project
after that I looked at the project
after that I looked at the project manager and she was like yeah okay okay
manager and she was like yeah okay okay
manager and she was like yeah okay okay and so we did the cake cutting ceremony
and so we did the cake cutting ceremony
and so we did the cake cutting ceremony and then it went well that was a very
and then it went well that was a very
and then it went well that was a very very scary experience for me but that
very scary experience for me but that
very scary experience for me but that night when I got home I gave myself a
night when I got home I gave myself a
night when I got home I gave myself a little pat on the back cuz I did it I
little pat on the back cuz I did it I
little pat on the back cuz I did it I finally tried I thought I couldn’t but I
finally tried I thought I couldn’t but I
finally tried I thought I couldn’t but I did it and I realized it wasn’t until
did it and I realized it wasn’t until
did it and I realized it wasn’t until that moment of frantic that I realized I
that moment of frantic that I realized I
that moment of frantic that I realized I cannot just stick to what is going on
cannot just stick to what is going on
cannot just stick to what is going on here I have to open up I have to take in
here I have to open up I have to take in
here I have to open up I have to take in what is going on I have to be sensitive
what is going on I have to be sensitive
what is going on I have to be sensitive I have to be aware of what’s going on
I have to be aware of what’s going on
I have to be aware of what’s going on and that could help me and which it did
and that could help me and which it did
and that could help me and which it did I grabbed on to everything that was
I grabbed on to everything that was
I grabbed on to everything that was going on around me and I used it to save
going on around me and I used it to save
going on around me and I used it to save myself
myself
myself now that’s an incident that I used I
now that’s an incident that I used I
now that’s an incident that I used I opened up and and I I became sensitive
opened up and and I I became sensitive
opened up and and I I became sensitive and I use whatever is outside to help me
and I use whatever is outside to help me
and I use whatever is outside to help me go through it the NICS incident my body
go through it the NICS incident my body
go through it the NICS incident my body helped me and
helped me and
helped me and turn without me knowing so a few years
turn without me knowing so a few years
turn without me knowing so a few years ago I did a performance it was called
ago I did a performance it was called
ago I did a performance it was called micro Sachs office and I played a little
micro Sachs office and I played a little
micro Sachs office and I played a little role that was a boy and he was a courier
role that was a boy and he was a courier
role that was a boy and he was a courier and he was of salvation ethnic
and he was of salvation ethnic
and he was of salvation ethnic background and I chose that background
background and I chose that background
background and I chose that background because I loved playing with accents and
because I loved playing with accents and
because I loved playing with accents and it was funny to me I found it funny so I
it was funny to me I found it funny so I
it was funny to me I found it funny so I chose that I put in the show and
chose that I put in the show and
chose that I put in the show and everybody that came and watched the
everybody that came and watched the
everybody that came and watched the rehearsals they thought that was funny
rehearsals they thought that was funny
rehearsals they thought that was funny but I had kind of a dilemma because to
but I had kind of a dilemma because to
but I had kind of a dilemma because to me if someone comes to me and I don’t
me if someone comes to me and I don’t
me if someone comes to me and I don’t know that person and he imitates he does
know that person and he imitates he does
know that person and he imitates he does some sort of accents I might not find it
some sort of accents I might not find it
some sort of accents I might not find it too funny because I don’t know that
too funny because I don’t know that
too funny because I don’t know that person you have to know that person in
person you have to know that person in
person you have to know that person in order for it to be funny and so I wasn’t
order for it to be funny and so I wasn’t
order for it to be funny and so I wasn’t sure if the audience would find it funny
sure if the audience would find it funny
sure if the audience would find it funny that was my question
that was my question
that was my question I did not know if it will work in the
I did not know if it will work in the
I did not know if it will work in the show but everybody told me it will be
show but everybody told me it will be
show but everybody told me it will be okay it’ll be fine it’s funny and so
okay it’ll be fine it’s funny and so
okay it’ll be fine it’s funny and so okay I went with it so on the first day
okay I went with it so on the first day
okay I went with it so on the first day of the show the data I dreaded the most
of the show the data I dreaded the most
of the show the data I dreaded the most because I did not know how the audience
because I did not know how the audience
because I did not know how the audience would react I did my part but first let
would react I did my part but first let
would react I did my part but first let me explain to you how my skin went I
me explain to you how my skin went I
me explain to you how my skin went I would go on stage and I had to do a job
would go on stage and I had to do a job
would go on stage and I had to do a job interview because I wanted to be the
interview because I wanted to be the
interview because I wanted to be the courier of that company but there’s only
courier of that company but there’s only
courier of that company but there’s only me you will hear the voice of the
me you will hear the voice of the
me you will hear the voice of the interviewer because it has been
interviewer because it has been
interviewer because it has been pre-recorded and our deputy stage
pre-recorded and our deputy stage
pre-recorded and our deputy stage manager the SM she will play the sound
manager the SM she will play the sound
manager the SM she will play the sound cue and I will respond to it and she
cue and I will respond to it and she
cue and I will respond to it and she will play another sound cue and I’ll
will play another sound cue and I’ll
will play another sound cue and I’ll respond therefore making it a
respond therefore making it a
respond therefore making it a conversation but there’s only me myself
conversation but there’s only me myself
conversation but there’s only me myself on stage and usually the DSM she sits at
on stage and usually the DSM she sits at
on stage and usually the DSM she sits at the very end of the auditorium so that
the very end of the auditorium so that
the very end of the auditorium so that she could have a big general view of the
she could have a big general view of the
she could have a big general view of the stage but for that particular show I do
stage but for that particular show I do
stage but for that particular show I do not know why she was very close to me
not know why she was very close to me
not know why she was very close to me she was at the balcony at the corner
she was at the balcony at the corner
she was at the balcony at the corner getting in the auditorium she was there
getting in the auditorium she was there
getting in the auditorium she was there so when I was on stage I just had to
so when I was on stage I just had to
so when I was on stage I just had to look up and I could see her so okay and
look up and I could see her so okay and
look up and I could see her so okay and that was it
that was it
that was it okay that’s the part which I’m just
okay that’s the part which I’m just
okay that’s the part which I’m just gonna talk and she’s gonna play at the
gonna talk and she’s gonna play at the
gonna talk and she’s gonna play at the town cue and okay so I came up on stage
town cue and okay so I came up on stage
town cue and okay so I came up on stage I heard some giggling and I know why
I heard some giggling and I know why
I heard some giggling and I know why because I I was a little boy I had a
because I I was a little boy I had a
because I I was a little boy I had a mustache and a hell but over here I
mustache and a hell but over here I
mustache and a hell but over here I looked really stupid and there was
looked really stupid and there was
looked really stupid and there was giggling going on and then she started
giggling going on and then she started
giggling going on and then she started playing the sound cues and yes good
playing the sound cues and yes good
playing the sound cues and yes good morning good afternoon I’m here for a
morning good afternoon I’m here for a
morning good afternoon I’m here for a job interview and then my first punch
job interview and then my first punch
job interview and then my first punch line came the reaction I got from the
line came the reaction I got from the
line came the reaction I got from the audience the laughter and the applaud
audience the laughter and the applaud
audience the laughter and the applaud was something I had never in my career
was something I had never in my career
was something I had never in my career of being an actor I have never
of being an actor I have never
of being an actor I have never experienced and never expected it was
experienced and never expected it was
experienced and never expected it was beyond overwhelming I mean I was really
beyond overwhelming I mean I was really
beyond overwhelming I mean I was really happy at that moment because well it
happy at that moment because well it
happy at that moment because well it proved that I worried too much I proved
proved that I worried too much I proved
proved that I worried too much I proved that it worked right but that happiness
that it worked right but that happiness
that it worked right but that happiness didn’t last too long because I started
didn’t last too long because I started
didn’t last too long because I started to panic because that was kind of a
to panic because that was kind of a
to panic because that was kind of a problem for me because the crowd the
problem for me because the crowd the
problem for me because the crowd the noise that they were making it grew it
noise that they were making it grew it
noise that they were making it grew it did not quite subside and for my scene
did not quite subside and for my scene
did not quite subside and for my scene to keep going I need to keep a good
to keep going I need to keep a good
to keep going I need to keep a good timing because it’s a comedy I cannot
timing because it’s a comedy I cannot
timing because it’s a comedy I cannot wait for the whole audience to quiet
wait for the whole audience to quiet
wait for the whole audience to quiet down and then continue to speak that
down and then continue to speak that
down and then continue to speak that would be that would hurt the scene it
would be that would hurt the scene it
would be that would hurt the scene it wouldn’t be as funny and so I did not
wouldn’t be as funny and so I did not
wouldn’t be as funny and so I did not know if I should say something to calm
know if I should say something to calm
know if I should say something to calm him down that would be out of the script
him down that would be out of the script
him down that would be out of the script so I don’t know should I say should do
so I don’t know should I say should do
so I don’t know should I say should do something I didn’t know what to do and I
something I didn’t know what to do and I
something I didn’t know what to do and I was afraid to do anything to say
was afraid to do anything to say
was afraid to do anything to say anything because I looked up to my DSM
anything because I looked up to my DSM
anything because I looked up to my DSM she was also look looking at me she was
she was also look looking at me she was
she was also look looking at me she was thinking the same thing should she play
thinking the same thing should she play
thinking the same thing should she play the sound cue or should she wait for me
the sound cue or should she wait for me
the sound cue or should she wait for me to talk because it was in a situation
to talk because it was in a situation
to talk because it was in a situation that we have never faced before this
that we have never faced before this
that we have never faced before this never happened
never happened
never happened in rehearsal and I was afraid to talk
in rehearsal and I was afraid to talk
in rehearsal and I was afraid to talk because I didn’t want to clash with
because I didn’t want to clash with
because I didn’t want to clash with sound cute that would be really bad that
sound cute that would be really bad that
sound cute that would be really bad that would be really awkward and so I just
would be really awkward and so I just
would be really awkward and so I just stood there please don’t get me wrong
stood there please don’t get me wrong
stood there please don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to brag about how funny I
I’m not trying to brag about how funny I
I’m not trying to brag about how funny I was I’m just trying to tell you that
was I’m just trying to tell you that
was I’m just trying to tell you that that was my first time to be in a in a
that was my first time to be in a in a
that was my first time to be in a in a scene in a show during a performance and
scene in a show during a performance and
scene in a show during a performance and I did not know how to handle it because
I did not know how to handle it because
I did not know how to handle it because the audience was controlling me and it
the audience was controlling me and it
the audience was controlling me and it should be the way around and I just did
should be the way around and I just did
should be the way around and I just did not know what to do I just I just stood
not know what to do I just I just stood
not know what to do I just I just stood there seriously I just stood there and
there seriously I just stood there and
there seriously I just stood there and waited and finally to calm down a little
waited and finally to calm down a little
waited and finally to calm down a little bit and then I looked up and she played
bit and then I looked up and she played
bit and then I looked up and she played a cue and then I continued the
a cue and then I continued the
a cue and then I continued the conversation and then BAM
conversation and then BAM
conversation and then BAM next punchline again laughter and
next punchline again laughter and
next punchline again laughter and applaud this time I don’t know really
applaud this time I don’t know really
applaud this time I don’t know really how to explain it but my body reacted to
how to explain it but my body reacted to
how to explain it but my body reacted to that I felt my heartbeat started to calm
that I felt my heartbeat started to calm
that I felt my heartbeat started to calm down a little bit it helped me to
down a little bit it helped me to
down a little bit it helped me to transform that panic into some sort of
transform that panic into some sort of
transform that panic into some sort of enjoyment without me knowing and I start
enjoyment without me knowing and I start
enjoyment without me knowing and I start to fidget I start moving my feet a
to fidget I start moving my feet a
to fidget I start moving my feet a little bit I pulled my pants and I
little bit I pulled my pants and I
little bit I pulled my pants and I didn’t have these gestures when I
didn’t have these gestures when I
didn’t have these gestures when I rehearsed it just came then and I felt
rehearsed it just came then and I felt
rehearsed it just came then and I felt what am i doing okay just go with it
what am i doing okay just go with it
what am i doing okay just go with it just go with it and it kind of worked
just go with it and it kind of worked
just go with it and it kind of worked because it caught their attention
because it caught their attention
because it caught their attention and they kind of Oh is she gonna say
and they kind of Oh is she gonna say
and they kind of Oh is she gonna say something you should gonna talk they
something you should gonna talk they
something you should gonna talk they kind of calmed down a little bit at that
kind of calmed down a little bit at that
kind of calmed down a little bit at that split-second of quietness I looked up
split-second of quietness I looked up
split-second of quietness I looked up and then she played the cue and then I
and then she played the cue and then I
and then she played the cue and then I could continue with the conversation and
could continue with the conversation and
could continue with the conversation and I was in control and I knew what to do
I was in control and I knew what to do
I was in control and I knew what to do to trigger them and what to do to
to trigger them and what to do to
to trigger them and what to do to capture them and calm them down that was
capture them and calm them down that was
capture them and calm them down that was a very memorable experience for me
a very memorable experience for me
a very memorable experience for me because not only was it
because not only was it
because not only was it very intense teamwork between me and the
very intense teamwork between me and the
very intense teamwork between me and the TSM but also I realize this my body
TSM but also I realize this my body
TSM but also I realize this my body it helped me go through the whole
it helped me go through the whole
it helped me go through the whole situation it taught me to trust it it
situation it taught me to trust it it
situation it taught me to trust it it taught me to listen to it you must be
taught me to listen to it you must be
taught me to listen to it you must be thinking well you’re not an actor and
thinking well you’re not an actor and
thinking well you’re not an actor and how could you benefit from my experience
how could you benefit from my experience
how could you benefit from my experience well to me I think that whether you are
well to me I think that whether you are
well to me I think that whether you are an actor or not we all only have this
an actor or not we all only have this
an actor or not we all only have this our body that’s it that’s all we have
our body that’s it that’s all we have
our body that’s it that’s all we have and it’s a waste to not fully utilize
and it’s a waste to not fully utilize
and it’s a waste to not fully utilize everything they can do because this is
everything they can do because this is
everything they can do because this is all we have our soul our spirit our
all we have our soul our spirit our
all we have our soul our spirit our heartbeat our feelings our sensations
heartbeat our feelings our sensations
heartbeat our feelings our sensations our intuitions our voice our every
our intuitions our voice our every
our intuitions our voice our every breath they don’t lie it’s pure honesty
breath they don’t lie it’s pure honesty
breath they don’t lie it’s pure honesty and this is the best partner anyone can
and this is the best partner anyone can
and this is the best partner anyone can ever have so what I ask of you is no
ever have so what I ask of you is no
ever have so what I ask of you is no matter where is that you’re going no
matter where is that you’re going no
matter where is that you’re going no matter what path that you choose no
matter what path that you choose no
matter what path that you choose no matter what decision you make let all
matter what decision you make let all
matter what decision you make let all these that you have helped you build
these that you have helped you build
these that you have helped you build your own yellowbrickroad and whether you
your own yellowbrickroad and whether you
your own yellowbrickroad and whether you get to Oz or not to me that’s not most
get to Oz or not to me that’s not most
get to Oz or not to me that’s not most important trusting yourself allowing
important trusting yourself allowing
important trusting yourself allowing yourself to be open and be sensitive
yourself to be open and be sensitive
yourself to be open and be sensitive allowing yourself to listen to all the
allowing yourself to listen to all the
allowing yourself to listen to all the messages and signals that your body
messages and signals that your body
messages and signals that your body sends you allowing yourself to pay
sends you allowing yourself to pay
sends you allowing yourself to pay attention to all different reactions
attention to all different reactions
attention to all different reactions inside and out whenever you you overcome
inside and out whenever you you overcome
inside and out whenever you you overcome an obstacle when you hit a wall when you
an obstacle when you hit a wall when you
an obstacle when you hit a wall when you don’t
don’t
don’t nowhere to go when you’re not sure what
nowhere to go when you’re not sure what
nowhere to go when you’re not sure what the next step is when you’re at a
the next step is when you’re at a
the next step is when you’re at a crossroad taste that unsettling feeling
crossroad taste that unsettling feeling
crossroad taste that unsettling feeling of vulnerability sinking in and when you
of vulnerability sinking in and when you
of vulnerability sinking in and when you think you can’t fight anymore
think you can’t fight anymore
think you can’t fight anymore fight back and say I will never know if
fight back and say I will never know if
fight back and say I will never know if I don’t try challenge accepted and then
I don’t try challenge accepted and then
I don’t try challenge accepted and then take off from there that is what is most
take off from there that is what is most
take off from there that is what is most important to me and with that kind of
important to me and with that kind of
important to me and with that kind of attitude I guarantee you it doesn’t
attitude I guarantee you it doesn’t
attitude I guarantee you it doesn’t matter where you’re going it can be bad
matter where you’re going it can be bad
matter where you’re going it can be bad the best of luck to every one of you
the best of luck to every one of you
the best of luck to every one of you thank you so much thank you
”
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