The hidden power of not (always) fitting in. | Marianne Cantwell | TEDxNorwichED

this talk is for those of us who are

this talk is for those of us who are good at looking like we fit in the

good at looking like we fit in the

good at looking like we fit in the different worlds we move in so beat your

different worlds we move in so beat your

different worlds we move in so beat your industry or social group different

industry or social group different

industry or social group different interests you have or just the stage you

interests you have or just the stage you

interests you have or just the stage you stand on it’s like from the outside it

stand on it’s like from the outside it

stand on it’s like from the outside it looks like you fit but secretly a little

looks like you fit but secretly a little

looks like you fit but secretly a little piece of you never feels you a hundred

piece of you never feels you a hundred

piece of you never feels you a hundred percent fit into any of them now if

percent fit into any of them now if

percent fit into any of them now if you’ve ever had an inkling of feeling

you’ve ever had an inkling of feeling

you’ve ever had an inkling of feeling that way you’re not alone I mean I felt

that way you’re not alone I mean I felt

that way you’re not alone I mean I felt the same there are definitely two of us

the same there are definitely two of us

the same there are definitely two of us and I’ve spent the last eight years

and I’ve spent the last eight years

and I’ve spent the last eight years helping thousands of people get paid

helping thousands of people get paid

helping thousands of people get paid without compromising their personality

without compromising their personality

without compromising their personality and doing that I discovered a few things

and doing that I discovered a few things

and doing that I discovered a few things that surprised me about being this way

that surprised me about being this way

that surprised me about being this way you see for me not quite fitting into

you see for me not quite fitting into

you see for me not quite fitting into any one identity started from the moment

any one identity started from the moment

any one identity started from the moment I could talk see I was born in Australia

I could talk see I was born in Australia

I could talk see I was born in Australia but my father’s English and my mum was

but my father’s English and my mum was

but my father’s English and my mum was from a little island of Mauritius so I

from a little island of Mauritius so I

from a little island of Mauritius so I grew up speaking English and French with

grew up speaking English and French with

grew up speaking English and French with a sort of weird accent that didn’t

a sort of weird accent that didn’t

a sort of weird accent that didn’t really fit anywhere in the world

really fit anywhere in the world

really fit anywhere in the world especially not where I grew up but the

especially not where I grew up but the

especially not where I grew up but the first time I really thought about this

first time I really thought about this

first time I really thought about this topic was one day when I was 16 so being

topic was one day when I was 16 so being

topic was one day when I was 16 so being a lifelong nerd at 16 I was at the top

a lifelong nerd at 16 I was at the top

a lifelong nerd at 16 I was at the top of my class along with this other boy

of my class along with this other boy

of my class along with this other boy and one day my teacher took me aside and

and one day my teacher took me aside and

and one day my teacher took me aside and said Maryann you and I have something in

said Maryann you and I have something in

said Maryann you and I have something in common

common

common we’re both generalists at which point I

we’re both generalists at which point I

we’re both generalists at which point I thought great that sounds like a good

thought great that sounds like a good

thought great that sounds like a good word and then he continued now the other

word and then he continued now the other

word and then he continued now the other boy he’s different from us he is a

boy he’s different from us he is a

boy he’s different from us he is a specialist and the one thing I’ve

specialist and the one thing I’ve

specialist and the one thing I’ve learned is that the world rewards

learned is that the world rewards

learned is that the world rewards specialists not generalists that’s why

specialists not generalists that’s why

specialists not generalists that’s why he’s going to do really well hearing

he’s going to do really well hearing

he’s going to do really well hearing these words sixteen-year-old me just

these words sixteen-year-old me just

these words sixteen-year-old me just thought well he’s right you know my

thought well he’s right you know my

thought well he’s right you know my teacher must be right if I want to fit

teacher must be right if I want to fit

teacher must be right if I want to fit and thrive as an adult I’m gonna have to

and thrive as an adult I’m gonna have to

and thrive as an adult I’m gonna have to focus on one thing you really make it my

focus on one thing you really make it my

focus on one thing you really make it my mission to fit cleanly into one identity

mission to fit cleanly into one identity

mission to fit cleanly into one identity and leave old messy me behind and so

and leave old messy me behind and so

and leave old messy me behind and so that’s what I did

that’s what I did

that’s what I did I went to university I graduated moved

I went to university I graduated moved

I went to university I graduated moved across the world to London so I had to

across the world to London so I had to

across the world to London so I had to rise in the work world and I mean

rise in the work world and I mean

rise in the work world and I mean fitting in it kind of worked like on the

fitting in it kind of worked like on the

fitting in it kind of worked like on the outside I was alright at playing the

outside I was alright at playing the

outside I was alright at playing the part sometimes but to be honest on the

part sometimes but to be honest on the

part sometimes but to be honest on the inside I was stuck like feeling sort of

inside I was stuck like feeling sort of

inside I was stuck like feeling sort of smaller and smaller by that point I was

smaller and smaller by that point I was

smaller and smaller by that point I was googling for better options like every

googling for better options like every

googling for better options like every night but there were no ideas on how to

night but there were no ideas on how to

night but there were no ideas on how to fix this

fix this

fix this I mean all the advice was the usual

I mean all the advice was the usual

I mean all the advice was the usual clichés like you find your one big

clichés like you find your one big

clichés like you find your one big passion or find your tribe like

passion or find your tribe like

passion or find your tribe like seriously what do you do when you’ve

seriously what do you do when you’ve

seriously what do you do when you’ve never seen a place that you completely

never seen a place that you completely

never seen a place that you completely fit you know I’m not just one where you

fit you know I’m not just one where you

fit you know I’m not just one where you kind of look like you do and so a decade

kind of look like you do and so a decade

kind of look like you do and so a decade ago I decided to take this seriously and

ago I decided to take this seriously and

ago I decided to take this seriously and I asked myself if it was possible to

I asked myself if it was possible to

I asked myself if it was possible to create a career where you don’t have to

create a career where you don’t have to

create a career where you don’t have to fit into a box and then I quit my job to

fit into a box and then I quit my job to

fit into a box and then I quit my job to make that happen as my own boss

make that happen as my own boss

make that happen as my own boss since then I’ve experimented with

since then I’ve experimented with

since then I’ve experimented with different free-range ways of working

different free-range ways of working

different free-range ways of working I’ve run my business from everywhere

I’ve run my business from everywhere

I’ve run my business from everywhere places like Bali and Costa Rica or New

places like Bali and Costa Rica or New

places like Bali and Costa Rica or New York and London

York and London

York and London I’ve run these global online festivals

I’ve run these global online festivals

I’ve run these global online festivals where brilliant thinkers share how they

where brilliant thinkers share how they

where brilliant thinkers share how they handle these questions but most of all

handle these questions but most of all

handle these questions but most of all I’ve been privileged to poke inside the

I’ve been privileged to poke inside the

I’ve been privileged to poke inside the heads of thousands of people who feel

heads of thousands of people who feel

heads of thousands of people who feel like this and the biggest thing I’ve

like this and the biggest thing I’ve

like this and the biggest thing I’ve learnt is this we are told through our

learnt is this we are told through our

learnt is this we are told through our parents education media and more that we

parents education media and more that we

parents education media and more that we live in a black and white world where

live in a black and white world where

live in a black and white world where the game is to get good at one thing

the game is to get good at one thing

the game is to get good at one thing you’re fit into one identity like what

you’re fit into one identity like what

you’re fit into one identity like what one thing will you be when you grow up

one thing will you be when you grow up

one thing will you be when you grow up for heard that right but some of us just

for heard that right but some of us just

for heard that right but some of us just aren’t that person at heart and so that

aren’t that person at heart and so that

aren’t that person at heart and so that advice leaves us feeling stuck but what

advice leaves us feeling stuck but what

advice leaves us feeling stuck but what if the mistake isn’t in how you are but

if the mistake isn’t in how you are but

if the mistake isn’t in how you are but in how you were told you should be

in how you were told you should be

in how you were told you should be Graham green said human nature is not

Graham green said human nature is not

Graham green said human nature is not black and white but black and gray guys

black and white but black and gray guys

black and white but black and gray guys this is how we are as humans this is how

this is how we are as humans this is how

this is how we are as humans this is how we actually are as humans and you’re

we actually are as humans and you’re

we actually are as humans and you’re realizing that is a game changer because

realizing that is a game changer because

realizing that is a game changer because it means you haven’t been getting it

it means you haven’t been getting it

it means you haven’t been getting it wrong that pull inside that was saying

wrong that pull inside that was saying

wrong that pull inside that was saying it has to be another way other than to

it has to be another way other than to

it has to be another way other than to squish myself into this

squish myself into this

squish myself into this one dimensional one-track version of me

one dimensional one-track version of me

one dimensional one-track version of me it’s not wrong we’re simply not given a

it’s not wrong we’re simply not given a

it’s not wrong we’re simply not given a model for the world that lets that way

model for the world that lets that way

model for the world that lets that way of being thrive and to be clear not only

of being thrive and to be clear not only

of being thrive and to be clear not only is this way of being a thing there’s a

is this way of being a thing there’s a

is this way of being a thing there’s a word for it liminal this is my favorite

word for it liminal this is my favorite

word for it liminal this is my favorite word and it describes a state of in

word and it describes a state of in

word and it describes a state of in betweenness like you’re not quite one

betweenness like you’re not quite one

betweenness like you’re not quite one thing but not quite another you’re on

thing but not quite another you’re on

thing but not quite another you’re on the borderland a part of this but also a

the borderland a part of this but also a

the borderland a part of this but also a part of that of becoming and when I

part of that of becoming and when I

part of that of becoming and when I first heard this word I just thought wow

first heard this word I just thought wow

first heard this word I just thought wow that describes me and not just the big

that describes me and not just the big

that describes me and not just the big life stuff but say right now on my

life stuff but say right now on my

life stuff but say right now on my bookshelf the Sex and the City novel is

bookshelf the Sex and the City novel is

bookshelf the Sex and the City novel is cuddling up to a behavioral economics

cuddling up to a behavioral economics

cuddling up to a behavioral economics textbook and I love pho for them equally

textbook and I love pho for them equally

textbook and I love pho for them equally right it’s actually a word for this you

right it’s actually a word for this you

right it’s actually a word for this you know a great example of liminality would

know a great example of liminality would

know a great example of liminality would be vampires they’re not quite alive but

be vampires they’re not quite alive but

be vampires they’re not quite alive but they’re not quite dead they’re not quite

they’re not quite dead they’re not quite

they’re not quite dead they’re not quite human but not quite other they’re not

human but not quite other they’re not

human but not quite other they’re not fully evil but they’re not all good

fully evil but they’re not all good

fully evil but they’re not all good they’re in between worlds it’s like they

they’re in between worlds it’s like they

they’re in between worlds it’s like they don’t fit into any one space but why

don’t fit into any one space but why

don’t fit into any one space but why would I mention that here well because

would I mention that here well because

would I mention that here well because it’s no mistake that over the past few

it’s no mistake that over the past few

it’s no mistake that over the past few decades vampires and zombies have been

decades vampires and zombies have been

decades vampires and zombies have been the topic of some of the cult TV series

the topic of some of the cult TV series

the topic of some of the cult TV series with the biggest and most dedicated fan

with the biggest and most dedicated fan

with the biggest and most dedicated fan bases

bases

bases you see we watch what we desire to be

you see we watch what we desire to be

you see we watch what we desire to be but aren’t allowed to be and the one

but aren’t allowed to be and the one

but aren’t allowed to be and the one thing a society does not allow us to be

thing a society does not allow us to be

thing a society does not allow us to be is liminal and in a world full of black

is liminal and in a world full of black

is liminal and in a world full of black and white messages that are you in or

and white messages that are you in or

and white messages that are you in or out with us or against us this or that

out with us or against us this or that

out with us or against us this or that then this has a big pull and heads up

then this has a big pull and heads up

then this has a big pull and heads up now said it you’ll see it everywhere I

now said it you’ll see it everywhere I

now said it you’ll see it everywhere I mean so many popular dramas do the same

mean so many popular dramas do the same

mean so many popular dramas do the same like Breaking Bad it’s a runaway hit

like Breaking Bad it’s a runaway hit

like Breaking Bad it’s a runaway hit that revolves around the question is the

that revolves around the question is the

that revolves around the question is the main character a family man or something

main character a family man or something

main character a family man or something else or both yeah that show is literally

else or both yeah that show is literally

else or both yeah that show is literally about liminality you see we watch this

about liminality you see we watch this

about liminality you see we watch this stuff whenever we turn on our TVs or

stuff whenever we turn on our TVs or

stuff whenever we turn on our TVs or load up our Netflix but then we go back

load up our Netflix but then we go back

load up our Netflix but then we go back to real life and you squish ourselves

to real life and you squish ourselves

to real life and you squish ourselves down be one thing fit in your box

down be one thing fit in your box

down be one thing fit in your box millions of us are doing this but it

millions of us are doing this but it

millions of us are doing this but it doesn’t have to be that way

doesn’t have to be that way

doesn’t have to be that way see here’s a different model the way

see here’s a different model the way

see here’s a different model the way we’re told the world works is kind of

we’re told the world works is kind of

we’re told the world works is kind of like a bunch of continents now these

like a bunch of continents now these

like a bunch of continents now these continents could be different industries

continents could be different industries

continents could be different industries or identities so if this was careers it

or identities so if this was careers it

or identities so if this was careers it could be here is continent lawyer

could be here is continent lawyer

could be here is continent lawyer here’s continent small business owner

here’s continent small business owner

here’s continent small business owner here’s continent and a cupcake Baker or

here’s continent and a cupcake Baker or

here’s continent and a cupcake Baker or something and your role we’re told is to

something and your role we’re told is to

something and your role we’re told is to find the continent where you really fit

find the continent where you really fit

find the continent where you really fit get the visa learn the customs rise the

get the visa learn the customs rise the

get the visa learn the customs rise the ranks by being the one who fits best but

ranks by being the one who fits best but

ranks by being the one who fits best but that’s a losing game if you’re liminal

that’s a losing game if you’re liminal

that’s a losing game if you’re liminal because you don’t quite feel like you

because you don’t quite feel like you

because you don’t quite feel like you fit so your only option other than to

fit so your only option other than to

fit so your only option other than to pretend is to look for a continent where

pretend is to look for a continent where

pretend is to look for a continent where you fit better but even though that

you fit better but even though that

you fit better but even though that other world might seem exciting at first

other world might seem exciting at first

other world might seem exciting at first soon you get disappointed right like it

soon you get disappointed right like it

soon you get disappointed right like it wasn’t quite as you as you thought but

wasn’t quite as you as you thought but

wasn’t quite as you as you thought but you have to leave another bit of

you have to leave another bit of

you have to leave another bit of yourself behind and so the cycle

yourself behind and so the cycle

yourself behind and so the cycle continues but what’s the alternative

continues but what’s the alternative

continues but what’s the alternative well it’s to create your own island an

well it’s to create your own island an

well it’s to create your own island an island where every bit of you fits and

island where every bit of you fits and

island where every bit of you fits and you create this island just off the

you create this island just off the

you create this island just off the shore of your favorite continent and it

shore of your favorite continent and it

shore of your favorite continent and it takes the best of that world and fills

takes the best of that world and fills

takes the best of that world and fills out the rest with the best of the other

out the rest with the best of the other

out the rest with the best of the other worlds you have a foot in so these could

worlds you have a foot in so these could

worlds you have a foot in so these could be bits of your personality or

be bits of your personality or

be bits of your personality or background or something you can’t help

background or something you can’t help

background or something you can’t help being so let me just give you an example

being so let me just give you an example

being so let me just give you an example consider an island where you do business

consider an island where you do business

consider an island where you do business strategy for people who run their own

strategy for people who run their own

strategy for people who run their own thing now the continent approach would

thing now the continent approach would

thing now the continent approach would be to look for others who do this and

be to look for others who do this and

be to look for others who do this and tell yourself should be more like them

tell yourself should be more like them

tell yourself should be more like them maybe Facebook stalk them or something

maybe Facebook stalk them or something

maybe Facebook stalk them or something here you get to create your own version

here you get to create your own version

here you get to create your own version so your island could be populated by the

so your island could be populated by the

so your island could be populated by the fact that you’re a highly sensitive

fact that you’re a highly sensitive

fact that you’re a highly sensitive person in a field that’s traditionally

person in a field that’s traditionally

person in a field that’s traditionally more brash could have some of the

more brash could have some of the

more brash could have some of the storytelling you can’t help do a

storytelling you can’t help do a

storytelling you can’t help do a sprinkle of your travel lust a light

sprinkle of your travel lust a light

sprinkle of your travel lust a light dusting of being a straight talker and

dusting of being a straight talker and

dusting of being a straight talker and so on and by the way that’s a fair

so on and by the way that’s a fair

so on and by the way that’s a fair description of one of my islands and I

description of one of my islands and I

description of one of my islands and I couldn’t have found that job description

couldn’t have found that job description

couldn’t have found that job description anywhere right I did look and that’s the

anywhere right I did look and that’s the

anywhere right I did look and that’s the bottom line you don’t find your place as

bottom line you don’t find your place as

bottom line you don’t find your place as a liminal person you create it so as I

a liminal person you create it so as I

a liminal person you create it so as I said that I realized this could sound

said that I realized this could sound

said that I realized this could sound like isn’t this a compromise like a

like isn’t this a compromise like a

like isn’t this a compromise like a workaround to deal with your weirdness

workaround to deal with your weirdness

workaround to deal with your weirdness wouldn’t it be better

wouldn’t it be better

wouldn’t it be better not be like this in the first place well

not be like this in the first place well

not be like this in the first place well when you take the things it means to be

when you take the things it means to be

when you take the things it means to be liminal like having a foot in more than

liminal like having a foot in more than

liminal like having a foot in more than one place and bridging worlds a slightly

one place and bridging worlds a slightly

one place and bridging worlds a slightly different personality to others around

different personality to others around

different personality to others around you maybe not focusing on one idea

you maybe not focusing on one idea

you maybe not focusing on one idea forever to the exclusion of anything

forever to the exclusion of anything

forever to the exclusion of anything else when you take those things and

else when you take those things and

else when you take those things and apply them to yourself we can feel shame

apply them to yourself we can feel shame

apply them to yourself we can feel shame like we’re getting it wrong

like we’re getting it wrong

like we’re getting it wrong being weird not doing the grown-up thing

being weird not doing the grown-up thing

being weird not doing the grown-up thing right but here’s the thing if you take

right but here’s the thing if you take

right but here’s the thing if you take those same traits and apply them to

those same traits and apply them to

those same traits and apply them to others you know who that describes it

others you know who that describes it

others you know who that describes it describes leaders

describes leaders

describes leaders it describes change makers innovators

it describes change makers innovators

it describes change makers innovators creators it describes the very people

creators it describes the very people

creators it describes the very people we’re telling our children to aspire to

we’re telling our children to aspire to

we’re telling our children to aspire to be and they get there through the traits

be and they get there through the traits

be and they get there through the traits that we tell ourselves to squish down

that we tell ourselves to squish down

that we tell ourselves to squish down and hide our you take successful

and hide our you take successful

and hide our you take successful innovators innovation does not happen by

innovators innovation does not happen by

innovators innovation does not happen by some guy sitting in a silent white room

some guy sitting in a silent white room

some guy sitting in a silent white room for weeks just waiting for inspiration

for weeks just waiting for inspiration

for weeks just waiting for inspiration to strike that’s kind of sounds like how

to strike that’s kind of sounds like how

to strike that’s kind of sounds like how writer’s block happens but innovation

writer’s block happens but innovation

writer’s block happens but innovation however happens from a through well

however happens from a through well

however happens from a through well generally from an idea being taken from

generally from an idea being taken from

generally from an idea being taken from one world and used in another like say a

one world and used in another like say a

one world and used in another like say a tiny camera with a tiny plastic lens

tiny camera with a tiny plastic lens

tiny camera with a tiny plastic lens that didn’t sell to camera buyers but

that didn’t sell to camera buyers but

that didn’t sell to camera buyers but put it on the back of a mobile phone and

put it on the back of a mobile phone and

put it on the back of a mobile phone and bingo like similarly people who create

bingo like similarly people who create

bingo like similarly people who create movements who will see at the forefront

movements who will see at the forefront

movements who will see at the forefront of their field that he’d get there by

of their field that he’d get there by

of their field that he’d get there by being like everyone else in that

being like everyone else in that

being like everyone else in that continent they created their own island

continent they created their own island

continent they created their own island off the coast of that space movements

off the coast of that space movements

off the coast of that space movements are created by lemon or people so your

are created by lemon or people so your

are created by lemon or people so your liminal edge could be something about

liminal edge could be something about

liminal edge could be something about background or maybe a personality trait

background or maybe a personality trait

background or maybe a personality trait that you could hide away for being too

that you could hide away for being too

that you could hide away for being too different but instead you step into like

different but instead you step into like

different but instead you step into like this guy Ricky who organized conferences

this guy Ricky who organized conferences

this guy Ricky who organized conferences where world leading specialists gave

where world leading specialists gave

where world leading specialists gave insightful speeches but Ricky well he

insightful speeches but Ricky well he

insightful speeches but Ricky well he had a personality quirk a little

had a personality quirk a little

had a personality quirk a little different to others around him in

different to others around him in

different to others around him in patience he was a conference organizer

patience he was a conference organizer

patience he was a conference organizer who got really bored by long speeches so

who got really bored by long speeches so

who got really bored by long speeches so he started giving speakers shorter and

he started giving speakers shorter and

he started giving speakers shorter and shorter time slots shorter than anything

shorter time slots shorter than anything

shorter time slots shorter than anything on the scene at the time and the

on the scene at the time and the

on the scene at the time and the little-known TED conference started to

little-known TED conference started to

little-known TED conference started to take off that’s why we’re sitting here

take off that’s why we’re sitting here

take off that’s why we’re sitting here today

today

today you see this is not about being some

you see this is not about being some

you see this is not about being some sort of rebel who’s all different for

sort of rebel who’s all different for

sort of rebel who’s all different for the sake of it being liminal it’s like

the sake of it being liminal it’s like

the sake of it being liminal it’s like being an inside outsider with one foot

being an inside outsider with one foot

being an inside outsider with one foot in the world you want to move in and a

in the world you want to move in and a

in the world you want to move in and a foot elsewhere and you get to the side

foot elsewhere and you get to the side

foot elsewhere and you get to the side where those borders life from introverts

where those borders life from introverts

where those borders life from introverts to extrovert every shade of gray in

to extrovert every shade of gray in

to extrovert every shade of gray in between this applies it’s always those

between this applies it’s always those

between this applies it’s always those pieces with so tempted to hide in the

pieces with so tempted to hide in the

pieces with so tempted to hide in the shadows that turn out to be our edge

shadows that turn out to be our edge

shadows that turn out to be our edge when we bring them into the light oh

when we bring them into the light oh

when we bring them into the light oh Jesus I just want to stop you’re a sec

Jesus I just want to stop you’re a sec

Jesus I just want to stop you’re a sec and say you might be listening to this

and say you might be listening to this

and say you might be listening to this and thinking this is inspiring stuff

and thinking this is inspiring stuff

and thinking this is inspiring stuff hopefully oh I like these ideas I’m

hopefully oh I like these ideas I’m

hopefully oh I like these ideas I’m totally going to tell my kids about them

totally going to tell my kids about them

totally going to tell my kids about them but realistically maybe you already are

but realistically maybe you already are

but realistically maybe you already are a leader or you’re just somewhere you’ve

a leader or you’re just somewhere you’ve

a leader or you’re just somewhere you’ve worked hard for right and there can be a

worked hard for right and there can be a

worked hard for right and there can be a sense that maybe this is for someone

sense that maybe this is for someone

sense that maybe this is for someone younger or newer without so much to lose

younger or newer without so much to lose

younger or newer without so much to lose not me

not me

not me not now and I get this I really get this

not now and I get this I really get this

not now and I get this I really get this because to be honest with you that is

because to be honest with you that is

because to be honest with you that is how I felt a few years ago see

how I felt a few years ago see

how I felt a few years ago see everything had come together with my

everything had come together with my

everything had come together with my work finally after a lot of hard work I

work finally after a lot of hard work I

work finally after a lot of hard work I had a business doing stuff I loved with

had a business doing stuff I loved with

had a business doing stuff I loved with great people living between beautiful

great people living between beautiful

great people living between beautiful countries and then one day to my

countries and then one day to my

countries and then one day to my publishers surprise I found myself the

publishers surprise I found myself the

publishers surprise I found myself the author of a best-selling book related to

author of a best-selling book related to

author of a best-selling book related to this and suddenly things exploded like

this and suddenly things exploded like

this and suddenly things exploded like those opportunities I was circling for

those opportunities I was circling for

those opportunities I was circling for years were just no pinging in my inbox

years were just no pinging in my inbox

years were just no pinging in my inbox it was like my little island I created

it was like my little island I created

it was like my little island I created was attractive and I everyone wanted to

was attractive and I everyone wanted to

was attractive and I everyone wanted to come in and visit and so I did just what

come in and visit and so I did just what

come in and visit and so I did just what you’d expect at that point when my star

you’d expect at that point when my star

you’d expect at that point when my star was like at its highest and I had a

was like at its highest and I had a

was like at its highest and I had a breakdown I disappeared from the scene

breakdown I disappeared from the scene

breakdown I disappeared from the scene very quietly and turned down everything

very quietly and turned down everything

very quietly and turned down everything from keynote invitations I mean I didn’t

from keynote invitations I mean I didn’t

from keynote invitations I mean I didn’t create anything new in that time either

create anything new in that time either

create anything new in that time either I just I just couldn’t but the weird

I just I just couldn’t but the weird

I just I just couldn’t but the weird thing was at that same time the National

thing was at that same time the National

thing was at that same time the National Press saw me is this sort of expert in

Press saw me is this sort of expert in

Press saw me is this sort of expert in entrepreneurship and location

entrepreneurship and location

entrepreneurship and location independence I was kind of like the

independence I was kind of like the

independence I was kind of like the poster girl for digital nomads and every

poster girl for digital nomads and every

poster girl for digital nomads and every time I get a call I would think why are

time I get a call I would think why are

time I get a call I would think why are they talking to me

they talking to me

they talking to me I mean yes I had a business that I was

I mean yes I had a business that I was

I mean yes I had a business that I was running from around the world but I

running from around the world but I

running from around the world but I didn’t feel like the person the

didn’t feel like the person the

didn’t feel like the person the magazine’s wanted to write about I mean

magazine’s wanted to write about I mean

magazine’s wanted to write about I mean if the starters digital nomads are

if the starters digital nomads are

if the starters digital nomads are supposed to be these sort of frugal

supposed to be these sort of frugal

supposed to be these sort of frugal travelers without a home who live out of

travelers without a home who live out of

travelers without a home who live out of there perfectly packed suitcase with

there perfectly packed suitcase with

there perfectly packed suitcase with that kind of two t-shirts or here or

that kind of two t-shirts or here or

that kind of two t-shirts or here or something or as I am terrible at packing

something or as I am terrible at packing

something or as I am terrible at packing like seriously it’s not a key strength

like seriously it’s not a key strength

like seriously it’s not a key strength my hobby is interior design I can’t stop

my hobby is interior design I can’t stop

my hobby is interior design I can’t stop buying cushions and so I felt like my

buying cushions and so I felt like my

buying cushions and so I felt like my messy liminal self didn’t have any way

messy liminal self didn’t have any way

messy liminal self didn’t have any way to breathe I was like they’ve got this

to breathe I was like they’ve got this

to breathe I was like they’ve got this one wrong and even want to be what they

one wrong and even want to be what they

one wrong and even want to be what they think I am just to be clear if that

think I am just to be clear if that

think I am just to be clear if that happened earlier it wouldn’t been a

happened earlier it wouldn’t been a

happened earlier it wouldn’t been a problem right I just would have stepped

problem right I just would have stepped

problem right I just would have stepped into my differences without a second

into my differences without a second

into my differences without a second thought it wouldn’t have even bothered

thought it wouldn’t have even bothered

thought it wouldn’t have even bothered me but not now you see in my mind it was

me but not now you see in my mind it was

me but not now you see in my mind it was fine to be all messy and liminal when

fine to be all messy and liminal when

fine to be all messy and liminal when you were the scrappy upstart but there

you were the scrappy upstart but there

you were the scrappy upstart but there was still that 16 year old girl who

was still that 16 year old girl who

was still that 16 year old girl who believed her teacher who believed that

believed her teacher who believed that

believed her teacher who believed that proper success meant fitting into one

proper success meant fitting into one

proper success meant fitting into one place properly and staying there others

place properly and staying there others

place properly and staying there others would kill for that opportunity for

would kill for that opportunity for

would kill for that opportunity for heard that rap play the part but I

heard that rap play the part but I

heard that rap play the part but I couldn’t keep talking about this stuff

couldn’t keep talking about this stuff

couldn’t keep talking about this stuff while feeling that way so I took time

while feeling that way so I took time

while feeling that way so I took time out and went on a journey to figure this

out and went on a journey to figure this

out and went on a journey to figure this out and it finally clicked one day that

out and it finally clicked one day that

out and it finally clicked one day that the people I most admired people at the

the people I most admired people at the

the people I most admired people at the top of their field I’m talking real

top of their field I’m talking real

top of their field I’m talking real household names they didn’t do things

household names they didn’t do things

household names they didn’t do things the way I was telling myself I had to do

the way I was telling myself I had to do

the way I was telling myself I had to do them now they didn’t let success on

them now they didn’t let success on

them now they didn’t let success on their Island turn it into a trap that

their Island turn it into a trap that

their Island turn it into a trap that defined like who they could be or the

defined like who they could be or the

defined like who they could be or the one way to do things

one way to do things

one way to do things instead they turn their island into a

instead they turn their island into a

instead they turn their island into a boat and they moved it along with them

boat and they moved it along with them

boat and they moved it along with them take Elizabeth Gilbert author of Eat

take Elizabeth Gilbert author of Eat

take Elizabeth Gilbert author of Eat Pray Love at your major bestseller about

Pray Love at your major bestseller about

Pray Love at your major bestseller about a part of her life now she could have

a part of her life now she could have

a part of her life now she could have ridden off that one story forever right

ridden off that one story forever right

ridden off that one story forever right gone on the speaker circuit talked about

gone on the speaker circuit talked about

gone on the speaker circuit talked about that one thing on a loop but instead she

that one thing on a loop but instead she

that one thing on a loop but instead she holed up in a small town and wrote a

holed up in a small town and wrote a

holed up in a small town and wrote a novel about 19th century plant

novel about 19th century plant

novel about 19th century plant collectors and then went on the Ted

collectors and then went on the Ted

collectors and then went on the Ted stage talked about creativity released a

stage talked about creativity released a

stage talked about creativity released a book on that and you know the funny

book on that and you know the funny

book on that and you know the funny thing Eat Pray Love is how most people

thing Eat Pray Love is how most people

thing Eat Pray Love is how most people first heard of Liz Gilbert but that

first heard of Liz Gilbert but that

first heard of Liz Gilbert but that wasn’t even her first success the 1990s

wasn’t even her first success the 1990s

wasn’t even her first success the 1990s movie coyote ugly was based on an

movie coyote ugly was based on an

movie coyote ugly was based on an article she wrote about her experiences

article she wrote about her experiences

article she wrote about her experiences working in a bar and imagine if she’d

working in a bar and imagine if she’d

working in a bar and imagine if she’d stop

stop

stop them if she said oh but writers like me

them if she said oh but writers like me

them if she said oh but writers like me only meant to take these steps from here

only meant to take these steps from here

only meant to take these steps from here I might feel too different but now I’m

I might feel too different but now I’m

I might feel too different but now I’m too far along hide all that away he no

too far along hide all that away he no

too far along hide all that away he no instead it was about moving forward with

instead it was about moving forward with

instead it was about moving forward with her Island and as a result she’s made a

her Island and as a result she’s made a

her Island and as a result she’s made a much bigger impact than had she stopped

much bigger impact than had she stopped

much bigger impact than had she stopped and said that was it you got one go now

and said that was it you got one go now

and said that was it you got one go now stay still it doesn’t have to be that

stay still it doesn’t have to be that

stay still it doesn’t have to be that dramatic of course there were certainly

dramatic of course there were certainly

dramatic of course there were certainly more subtle evolutions out there but

more subtle evolutions out there but

more subtle evolutions out there but this theme was consistent among anyone

this theme was consistent among anyone

this theme was consistent among anyone I admired who was world class and what

I admired who was world class and what

I admired who was world class and what they did you see up until then I thought

they did you see up until then I thought

they did you see up until then I thought that embracing your differences and your

that embracing your differences and your

that embracing your differences and your liminal nature was kind of a tool like a

liminal nature was kind of a tool like a

liminal nature was kind of a tool like a nifty marketing approach you’d use to

nifty marketing approach you’d use to

nifty marketing approach you’d use to stand out or get an edge when you were

stand out or get an edge when you were

stand out or get an edge when you were younger or new I thought it was a tool

younger or new I thought it was a tool

younger or new I thought it was a tool but what I didn’t realize is it’s who we

but what I didn’t realize is it’s who we

but what I didn’t realize is it’s who we are and right now is your time as a

are and right now is your time as a

are and right now is your time as a liminal person right now the world is

liminal person right now the world is

liminal person right now the world is changing so fast there is no way to

changing so fast there is no way to

changing so fast there is no way to predict what specialism or skill will be

predict what specialism or skill will be

predict what specialism or skill will be in demand except for one thing the

in demand except for one thing the

in demand except for one thing the ability to bridge genres to navigate

ability to bridge genres to navigate

ability to bridge genres to navigate industries and change to be in a word

industries and change to be in a word

industries and change to be in a word liminal and that’s what you have already

liminal and that’s what you have already

liminal and that’s what you have already and what’s more the world needs you at a

and what’s more the world needs you at a

and what’s more the world needs you at a time when the world is putting up its

time when the world is putting up its

time when the world is putting up its borders and trying to divide people into

borders and trying to divide people into

borders and trying to divide people into this or that we need people like you who

this or that we need people like you who

this or that we need people like you who can straddle those borders and bring in

can straddle those borders and bring in

can straddle those borders and bring in fresh perspectives we need you now more

fresh perspectives we need you now more

fresh perspectives we need you now more than ever so if you like these ideas the

than ever so if you like these ideas the

than ever so if you like these ideas the one thing you can do is live them

one thing you can do is live them

one thing you can do is live them because it’s hard to inspire other

because it’s hard to inspire other

because it’s hard to inspire other generations and do so authentically when

generations and do so authentically when

generations and do so authentically when you think there’s no option than to be

you think there’s no option than to be

you think there’s no option than to be stuck for ourselves I mean imagine if my

stuck for ourselves I mean imagine if my

stuck for ourselves I mean imagine if my teacher when I was 16 had known we

teacher when I was 16 had known we

teacher when I was 16 had known we talked about here today here’s what he

talked about here today here’s what he

talked about here today here’s what he might have said maryann you and I have

might have said maryann you and I have

might have said maryann you and I have something in common

something in common

something in common we’re liminal and the world won’t always

we’re liminal and the world won’t always

we’re liminal and the world won’t always understand that but I want you to know

understand that but I want you to know

understand that but I want you to know it’s a valuable way to be and I just

it’s a valuable way to be and I just

it’s a valuable way to be and I just take my word for it the examples and

take my word for it the examples and

take my word for it the examples and islands are all around when you know how

islands are all around when you know how

islands are all around when you know how to look so I don’t hide that away you

to look so I don’t hide that away you

to look so I don’t hide that away you see you won’t succeed despite your

see you won’t succeed despite your

see you won’t succeed despite your liminality but because of it

liminality but because of it

liminality but because of it and I say the same to you if you’ve

and I say the same to you if you’ve

and I say the same to you if you’ve thought that’s me even once here then

thought that’s me even once here then

thought that’s me even once here then know that you’re not alone you’re in

know that you’re not alone you’re in

know that you’re not alone you’re in good company along with the innovators

good company along with the innovators

good company along with the innovators and change makers of the world or simply

and change makers of the world or simply

and change makers of the world or simply those with a quirk who in the past would

those with a quirk who in the past would

those with a quirk who in the past would have hidden their true colors but who

have hidden their true colors but who

have hidden their true colors but who know their time is now because you

know their time is now because you

know their time is now because you belong here

belong here

belong here as does every part of you thank you

as does every part of you thank you

as does every part of you thank you [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]