Then this video is for you. You will be told your whole life that you need to learn to listen
I would say that you need to learn to be the last to speak write the idea down and shut up
You ain’t got to show you I deal with 50 people
Write the idea down and boom get to steppin baby
Get to the action so 40 engineers wasted three or four years of their life
Because nobody was willing to tell them the honest truth about what they really thought
What’s that belief nation it seven my one word is believe and I believe in you I believe you have an amazing gift
Inside you that. I want to see explode out onto the world so to help you on your journey today
We’re gonna learn nine ways to make people respect you immediately enjoy
Way number one is be the last to speak with simon Sinek nelson mandela is a
Particularly special case study in the leadership world because he is universally regarded as a great leader you
Can take other personalities and depending on the nation you go to we have different opinions about other personalities?
But Nelson Mandela across the world is universally regarded as a great leader
He was actually the son of a tribal chief, and he was asked one day
How did you learn to be a great leader?
And he responded that he would go with his father to tribal meetings
And he remembers two things when his father would meet with other elders one. They would always
sit in a circle and
– his father was always the last to speak
You will be told your whole life that you need to learn to listen
I would say that you need to learn to be the last to speak I
See it in boardrooms every day of the week even people who consider themselves
Good leaders, who may actually be decent leaders will walk into a room and say here’s the problem
Here’s what I think but I’m interested in your opinion. Let’s go around the room. It’s too late
The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until everyone has spoken does two things one it gives everyone
Else the feeling that they have been heard it. Give me gives everyone else – the ability to feel that they have contributed and
To you get the benefit of hearing what everybody else has to think before you render your opinion
The skill is really to keep your opinions to yourself if you agree with somebody don’t nod
Yes, if you disagree with somebody don’t not know
Simply sit there take it all in and the only thing you’re allowed to do is ask questions so that you can
understand what they mean and why they have the opinion that they have you must
understand from where they are speaking why they have the opinion they have not just what they are saying and
at the end
You will get your turn it
Sounds easy it’s not
Practice being the last to speak that’s what Nelson Mandela did way number two is be able to laugh at yourself
with Will Smith I got in probably two weeks into my
preparation for the film and
My father was diagnosed with cancer, so we just started talking
About love time and death and we we it was some of the most open and powerful
conversations that
we you know we we’d ever had and
they gave him six weeks and
He actually he lived for four months so about three months
Into the six weeks, you know I go to see him one day and he said man. This is embarrassing and
I said what daddy said man you tell everybody you won’t be dead in six weeks
Much later you still hanging around
Laughing is the elixir you know and that was another thing that my father taught me
He was he was joking all the way up to the end like laughing
Yeah
You have to be able to laugh at everything and for me the beautiful part is that that’s my?
natural
Color on the spectrum and naturally go to comedy you know and when
I’m looking at something. I’m always trying to find why that’s funny and
you know it’s been really really helpful in in this experience, and and you know even just
This point in my life
Keep remember to laugh remember to laugh and and spend time with people that make you laugh like that is hugely important
Remember, three is let your actions speak louder than your words with Eric Thomas
I need you to transition from the I today ah
That’s right, I said it transition from the I and what’s an eye the eye is an idea that’s all it is
It’s an idea so I want us to do more a than. I that’s right
I want us to live in the a and not the I what do I mean by that some people man
They got an idea and all you do is talk talk talk
every time you get an idea you pick up the phone you call your homegirl you three-way you get on conference call and you get
An excited about your idea all right you telling your mom about it your daddy about it
And you there’s more life in you when you talk about the idea, then you put any action in it
Are you hearing me?
So do me a huge favor right the idea down and then shut up you heard what I said
Right the idea down and shut up
You ain’t got to share your idea with 50 people
Right the idea down and boom get to steppin
Baby get to the action because listen to me very closely your success is not determined on just what you say now
I’m not just I’m not disagreeing with you got to speak stuff into existence
I’m not disagreeing with that, but I’m telling you you can’t talk about it all the time you got to be about it
So I want some action so that what does that mean that means when you wake up in the morning?
There’s 24 hours in a day after you finish sleeping right and I don’t know how much sleep you need right there
Just big debate ETI much sleep
Do I need I don’t have a slice ID I know how much I need you might need fine
You might need six you might need seven you might need eight
I don’t know
That’s your business, but listen to what I’m telling you after you have finished sleeping after you finish eating
And if you just that immature, and you need to get your play on everyday you need to play video games
I don’t know you need to play cards
I don’t know what you need to do whatever you need to do after you finish exercising
I’m telling you to spend the rest of that time in action
And you’re gonna separate yourself from everybody why because most people all they doing is talk talk talk talk
That’s all they doing this pop talk talk talk and then getting pumped up and then getting excited from talking
So I’m saying get out of neutral and get it a drive the majority of your day so on Monday
I want you to have 10
Write down the things that do list and I want you to say at the end of the day if I wrote down 20 things
What did I get done?
And I’m trying to tell you at the end of Monday at the end of Tuesday at the wins
Wednesday at the end of Thursday at the end you get what I’m saying
This ain’t rocket science
At the end of your week if you were supposed to get 60 things done and you got 40 things done
You’re gonna be average at the end of the week
I just want to get 60 things and you got 50 done you’re gonna be pretty good
But at the end of the week if you got 58 59 60 things done out of 60
Let me tell you something you’re gonna separate yourself from everybody else are you hearing what I’m saying all right? All right?
All I’m trying to tell you is this don’t let your words guide you let your actions guide. You are you hearing me?
Don’t let your words guide you let your actions guide you and if you spend a majority of your day
writing stuff down and then
Fulfilling it you’re gonna be tight work so stop listen to me stop getting all pumped up about an idea everybody has one
Everybody got a dream
Everybody got to go stop dreaming about it stop talking about it and get up and do something about it that a baby that
action that action that
Grinding that waking up and grinding way number four is say what you mean with Vinod Khosla. We put this
Sort of slogan I prefer brutal honesty to hypocritical politeness
On our website because it’s a really disservice to people
You don’t have to be offensive to be honest
When I don’t like somebody I can’t get offensive too, but generally you can be constructive and
Very honest, and I prefer that brutal honesty
because it serves a purpose the receiver can do something about it if it’s a
constructive criticism
if you get poor the hypocritical politeness you might lose a
Lot so again
it’s about having enough confidence to say the other person will event truly appreciated and that’s
Logo good slogan came after I was working on a company with another major venture firm
And I didn’t believe their plan would work
They had
45 50 million dollars in the bank accounts so everybody was comfortable to comfortable my view I
Talked to the founders. Why it wouldn’t work
What my concerns were the other VCS agreed with me in the board meeting said all these polite things
You know so 40 engineers wasted three or four years of their life
Because nobody was willing to tell them the honest truth about what they really thought
All right, and I swore. I would never let anybody wish their life at least give them the best advice. I had to give and
Tell them I may be wrong, but I’m not gonna say something. I don’t believe in. I just want
in
And that’s extremely valuable to the other thing but to be honest look there are situations
You keep it offends people, and I offend people often
But it helps them if they’re really introspective that she found oh by the way in that company called me four years later
after
After this company this company got sold for three million dollars for three and a half four years later
Sad story and he called me a year after that said I only want to work with you on my next venture
Because I wish somebody had told me wait number five is see the good and everything in
everyone with Kevin Hart life is too short, and I feel like everyone needs to live love and laugh and
Understand like you know you’re constantly evolving things a constant changing thing
They’re constantly putting and putting people in position where they can get better and do better. We’re doing a lot better a lot better
You’re gonna have bumps in the road you’re gonna have things that happen that make you have a hiccup and any question are we?
Going better, but that’s life. That’s the course of life, but you know I
I’m a I’m a positive person
I’m a
Realistic and positive person so I see where we are I’m happy where we are and I know where we can be five or ten
years
They can continue to get better and girl way number. Six is give credit when it’s due with LeBron James
Honestly, you guys send me sitting sitting in his chair and kept looking over at them
It’s because I’d rather be sitting over there with them. I
Know this is an individual award, but I would much rather be sitting over there in shorts and a t-shirt
Wondering what the hell they joking about?
Because I want to be a part of that joke and I hate being out of all the jokes
I want to know what was happening. Okay guys I would much rather be with my guys over there
Because that’s what it’s all about
Yeah
Much rather be with those guys without those guys
This trophy is not possible
The Larry O’Brien trophy last year is not possible
Nothing that I receive individually is impossible without those 14 guys because of what they sacrifice each and every day
you know the sweat and the blood and the time and everything I
always know that
with team success becomes
individual prizes individual accolades, but
This really doesn’t mean much to me
I’m humbled, and I’m happy about it
But I wish it was 15 of these up here because what a great group of guys that allow me to be the MVP
Each and every night way number. Seven is give respect to other people with Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor
Good luck good luck to you, too
A dance partner to dance with Conor McGregor you a hell of a champion and to the country of Ireland we love you guys
Big round of applause for two classy classy gentlemen
But I gave my heart our fair Plato he is a composed man
You cannot you can give him nothing with respect it took the shot early, and he took shelter
He cracked him on the left hand and I saw I’m in a bit of panic, but he stayed very very calm
that’s just as years of expertise a tough competitor and
He still have a long career. I had to him does. He have a career in boxing
he’s you know we had to get his condition a
little bit better on that a little bit explain what you liked about the boxing business and what you prefer about the MMA business
This is all right, it’s not bad
Boyd congratulations terrific
Gentlemen you know to the podium. I like the color the notorious one Conor McGregor
He’s composed
Forehead dipped in head forehead on the chest and sad to fight that kind of fight
I didn’t anticipate that tree tree game changed in the in the fight. That’s what a true champion does much respect
I mean, I got a good respect – that
Was a hell of a boy
Was he better than you had expected he’s a lot better than I thought he was he used different angles
He was a tough competitor, but I was the better man tonight in there
So he was making me trouble when he was patient with his shots. I’ve got to get more respect fair play go
Respect others, okay, the golden rule you’ve heard it for years
You’ve heard it since you’ve been little everybody’s like Oh treat others the way that you want to be treated
It sounds simple right, but gentlemen. I’m here to tell you respect is a two-way street
If you don’t show others respect and consideration for their views or feelings don’t expect them to respect you or yours
The deal is we don’t have to agree with people we don’t have to see things
eye-to-eye on the same level
But the fact is you need to respect where they’re coming from and try to
Understand you may not okay you may come to the conclusion that they’re batshit crazy
But at the end of the day you listened and you tried to
Understand and guess what they’re gonna respect you
for respecting them
another aspect of
Respecting others is don’t badmouth
People don’t talk behind somebody’s back if you’ve got a problem if you’ve got an issue if you’ve got something you need to say to
Somebody say it you can do it in a respectful manner that enables communication
As opposed to backstabbing gossip way number eight is always strive to do better with Terry Crews
You know how many times have you ever heard the phrase?
You are perfect. Just as you are
Have you heard a lot me you know what you’re perfect. Just as you are you are so perfect just as you are
Well, you know what you are not
You are not perfect. Just as you are
you are
perfect
But you’re not complete. This is the thing what I mean by this. It’s not people gonna go. Oh, what do you mean?
I’m a what are you trying to say I gotta change. I got to change somebody else yes
Yes
You need to change
Everybody everybody out there needs to change we are designed for change nothing in this world stays the same
You are either getting better, or you are getting worse let me describe something to you when I say you are perfect
But you are not complete
Let’s say this building. I’m in if I looked at the blueprints, but it’s building
It’s the blueprints for this building before it was built or perfect
Everything was in this bright place everything was great, but could I walk in it could I do anything did I have a building?
No
Why it wasn’t complete when they framed up this building and put wood and metal and all this stuff
But they didn’t do the floor didn’t do the electrical was it perfect yes
It was perfect, but it wasn’t completely
You I like this building you are
Perfect in every way, but you’re just not done
You’re not done, and you know what anybody who’s trying to tell you don’t try to change me yeah now
No, one should try to change you, but you have to change yourself you
Are you poet to everyone to change?
Yourself into a better person into a better human being that’s what you have to do you are perfect
But you just not complete so when you look at yourself look at yourself at that building
And it’s framed up and everything is in its right place, but you’re just not done
I want to tell you that so anybody who’s trying to tell you that I’m perfect just the way I am
It’s not trying to change and guess what you know and it’s not worth it
You’re a half done building who wants to live in a building with no roof nobody
And I’m just trying to break it down to you that you hear these catchphrases you hear this stuff all the time
But everybody just takes it and says oh, yeah
I’m perfect just the way I am and you don’t change and your life doesn’t change and
Nothing gets better for you, and you wonder. What’s happening and everything is crumbling around you. Hey, I’m guilty
Terry Crews is guilty then I realized wait a minute. Wait a minute. I’m not perfect. Just the way I am I
Have to be perfected I
Am perfect
But I am NOT complete and way number nine is help others when they need it and ask for help when you need it
You know I’m an ordinary man with an extraordinary job right not the other way around so
It’s all gravy for me. You know
when I was younger I
Used to coach a lot and nothing made you coach kids sports. Nothing made me happier
Then seeing other people do well
Well, that’s sort of my nature
And it directing was the perfect job for that because I love seeing others do well. I mean I’m okay. I did pretty good
I’m good. I’ve done all right, but to see others to do
What you know? They’re what they’re capable of
Gives me great joy today. I want to talk about purpose
But I’m not here to give you the standard commencement about finding your purpose we’re Millennials we try to do that instinctively
Instead I’m here to tell you that finding your purpose isn’t enough
The challenge for our generation is to create a world where everyone has a sense of purpose
One of my favorite stories is
When JFK went to go visit the NASA Space Center, and he saw janitor holding a broom
And he asked him what he was doing and the janitor replied mr.. President. I’m helping put a man on the moon
Purpose is that feeling that you are a part of something bigger than yourself
That you are needed and that you have something better ahead to work for
Purpose is what creates true happiness. I remember that night. I launched Facebook from
That little dorm in Kirkland house
I
Went to Noakes with my friend kayaks and
I remember telling him clearly that I was excited to help connect the Harvard community, but one day someone would connect the whole world
The thing is it never even occurred to me that that someone might be us we were just college kids
We didn’t know anything about that
There are all these great big technology companies with all these resources, and I just assumed one of them would do it
But this idea was so clear to us that all people want to connect
so we just kept working on it day after day after day and
I know that a lot of you are gonna. Have your own stories. Just like this a
Change in the world that seems so clear that you are sure someone else is going to do it
But they’re not you will
But it’s not enough to have that purpose yourself
You also have to create a sense of purpose for others now. Maybe you’re asking yourself
Can I really do this?
Well remember when I told you about that class I taught at the Boys & Girls Club
One day after class I was talking to my students about
Going to college and one of my top students raised his hand and said
That he wasn’t sure he could go to college because he’s undocumented
He wasn’t sure if they’d take him
Last year I took him out to breakfast for his birthday and
I wanted to get him a gift so I asked him what he wanted and he
just started talking about struggles that he saw other students in his class facing and
finally said you know I’d really just like a book on social justice I
Was blown away
Here is a young guy who has every reason to be cynical
He wasn’t sure if the country he calls home
The only one he’s known
Was gonna deny him his dream of going to college?
But he wasn’t feeling sorry for himself he wasn’t even thinking of himself
He has a greater sense of purpose and he’s gonna bring people along with him
It says something about our situation today that I can’t even say his name because I don’t want to put him at risk
But if a high school senior who doesn’t know what the future holds for him can do his part to move the world forward
then we owe it to the world to do our part –
What I learned is that I don’t have to know all the answers, and if I don’t I don’t have to pretend that I do
The opportunity to ask others for help and admit when we don’t know things and even admit when we make mistakes
Means that people will rush to our aid it will be there to help us
If we claim we know of the answers if we hide the mistakes we make then people will think things are fine
And so they’ll leave us alone
And it’s not that people don’t want to help us is that they is that they don’t know when they can
Thank you guys so much for watching
I hope you enjoyed I’d love to know what did you take from this video that you’re going to immediately apply?
Somehow to your life, or your business leave it down the comments below
I’m really curious to see what you have to say I also want to give a quick shout out to Tim Schmoyer from video creators
Tim thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book your one word for being a quote on the back of it
For posting it to social media
I really appreciate all the support man, and I’m so glad you enjoyed the book so thank you guys again for watching
I believe in you. I hope we continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one where it is much. Love I’ll see you soon
If you had to think of one word that’s most important to you that sums you Apple, so it would be collect a little beacon
Pay believe nation if you want to know what the most important one word is for Tony Robbins Gary Vaynerchuk
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