tell me if any of these headlines sound familiar
familiar
familiar 100 ways to change your life in 10
100 ways to change your life in 10
100 ways to change your life in 10 minutes or less or how about the one
minutes or less or how about the one
minutes or less or how about the one thing every successful person does in
thing every successful person does in
thing every successful person does in the morning and last but not least to
the morning and last but not least to
the morning and last but not least to live remarkably repeat this affirmation
live remarkably repeat this affirmation
live remarkably repeat this affirmation every day for the rest of your life as
every day for the rest of your life as
every day for the rest of your life as over-the-top as these articles are sadly
over-the-top as these articles are sadly
over-the-top as these articles are sadly I didn’t even have to make them up but
I didn’t even have to make them up but
I didn’t even have to make them up but you probably knew that because today
you probably knew that because today
you probably knew that because today there’s no shortage of experts or gurus
there’s no shortage of experts or gurus
there’s no shortage of experts or gurus telling you to think positively
telling you to think positively
telling you to think positively eliminate negativity just believe in
eliminate negativity just believe in
eliminate negativity just believe in yourself unfortunately this type of
yourself unfortunately this type of
yourself unfortunately this type of thinking doesn’t work to borrow a phrase
thinking doesn’t work to borrow a phrase
thinking doesn’t work to borrow a phrase from the entrepreneur Derek Siver’s if
from the entrepreneur Derek Siver’s if
from the entrepreneur Derek Siver’s if all of those happiness hacks really were
all of those happiness hacks really were
all of those happiness hacks really were the answer then we’d all be billionaires
the answer then we’d all be billionaires
the answer then we’d all be billionaires with amazing ABS the truth is and what
with amazing ABS the truth is and what
with amazing ABS the truth is and what I’m here to talk to you about today is
I’m here to talk to you about today is
I’m here to talk to you about today is that although we’re told to ignore
that although we’re told to ignore
that although we’re told to ignore suppress and push back our self-doubt
suppress and push back our self-doubt
suppress and push back our self-doubt not only is that impossible
not only is that impossible
not only is that impossible it often backfires if you’re anything
it often backfires if you’re anything
it often backfires if you’re anything like me you probably find that trying to
like me you probably find that trying to
like me you probably find that trying to be positive all the time
be positive all the time
be positive all the time ends up making you feel worse instead of
ends up making you feel worse instead of
ends up making you feel worse instead of better I can’t even count how many times
better I can’t even count how many times
better I can’t even count how many times that’s happened while I was trying to
that’s happened while I was trying to
that’s happened while I was trying to put together this talk when I would see
put together this talk when I would see
put together this talk when I would see something like an article titled 15 TED
something like an article titled 15 TED
something like an article titled 15 TED talks that will change your life or read
talks that will change your life or read
talks that will change your life or read quotes from prominent speakers instead
quotes from prominent speakers instead
quotes from prominent speakers instead of feeling inspired it triggered my
of feeling inspired it triggered my
of feeling inspired it triggered my self-doubt Who am I to think that I
self-doubt Who am I to think that I
self-doubt Who am I to think that I deserve to be up here on this stage what
deserve to be up here on this stage what
deserve to be up here on this stage what if I don’t measure up and I’d go right
if I don’t measure up and I’d go right
if I don’t measure up and I’d go right down that spiral I’ve come
down that spiral I’ve come
down that spiral I’ve come hair and despair and don’t get me wrong
hair and despair and don’t get me wrong
hair and despair and don’t get me wrong I was grateful and excited but I was
I was grateful and excited but I was
I was grateful and excited but I was also scared it’s funny how our inner
also scared it’s funny how our inner
also scared it’s funny how our inner critic seems to sneak up on us like that
critic seems to sneak up on us like that
critic seems to sneak up on us like that in many areas of our life both big and
in many areas of our life both big and
in many areas of our life both big and small can you relate yeah I don’t see a
small can you relate yeah I don’t see a
small can you relate yeah I don’t see a lot of hands out there have you ever
lot of hands out there have you ever
lot of hands out there have you ever wanted to make a big change in your life
wanted to make a big change in your life
wanted to make a big change in your life one affecting your health your
one affecting your health your
one affecting your health your relationships or your career but
relationships or your career but
relationships or your career but self-doubt held you back or stopped you
self-doubt held you back or stopped you
self-doubt held you back or stopped you from starting altogether that little
from starting altogether that little
from starting altogether that little voice creeps in doesn’t it when that
voice creeps in doesn’t it when that
voice creeps in doesn’t it when that like mine says you’re not motivated
like mine says you’re not motivated
like mine says you’re not motivated enough you’re not smart enough you’re
enough you’re not smart enough you’re
enough you’re not smart enough you’re not good enough and perhaps you’ve
not good enough and perhaps you’ve
not good enough and perhaps you’ve reacted like I did instead of listening
reacted like I did instead of listening
reacted like I did instead of listening to those feelings you follow the common
to those feelings you follow the common
to those feelings you follow the common advise to crush them or fake it till you
advise to crush them or fake it till you
advise to crush them or fake it till you make it
make it
make it and simply try to pretend like they’re
and simply try to pretend like they’re
and simply try to pretend like they’re not there after all that’s what all of
not there after all that’s what all of
not there after all that’s what all of the self-help gurus tell us to do right
the self-help gurus tell us to do right
the self-help gurus tell us to do right banish your fear defeat self-doubt in my
banish your fear defeat self-doubt in my
banish your fear defeat self-doubt in my experience working with and studying
experience working with and studying
experience working with and studying high achievers I found that this battle
high achievers I found that this battle
high achievers I found that this battle with the inner critic is a dirty not so
with the inner critic is a dirty not so
with the inner critic is a dirty not so little
little
little in fact enormous secret successful
in fact enormous secret successful
in fact enormous secret successful people share we find out the hard way
people share we find out the hard way
people share we find out the hard way that fighting fear doesn’t work it just
that fighting fear doesn’t work it just
that fighting fear doesn’t work it just pulls us down like quicksand the more we
pulls us down like quicksand the more we
pulls us down like quicksand the more we resist the faster we sink but despite
resist the faster we sink but despite
resist the faster we sink but despite what Pollyanna positive thinking
what Pollyanna positive thinking
what Pollyanna positive thinking suggests so-called negative emotions
suggests so-called negative emotions
suggests so-called negative emotions like fear and self-doubt are important
like fear and self-doubt are important
like fear and self-doubt are important they evolved to help keep us safe and to
they evolved to help keep us safe and to
they evolved to help keep us safe and to help us tackle difficult problems so
help us tackle difficult problems so
help us tackle difficult problems so ignoring them is a mistake I’m here to
ignoring them is a mistake I’m here to
ignoring them is a mistake I’m here to hopefully change your mind and hope you
hopefully change your mind and hope you
hopefully change your mind and hope you realize that listening to your inner
realize that listening to your inner
realize that listening to your inner critic when done right
critic when done right
critic when done right can be a useful tool so what if we could
can be a useful tool so what if we could
can be a useful tool so what if we could rethink our relationship with self-doubt
rethink our relationship with self-doubt
rethink our relationship with self-doubt what if we could hear the voice of our
what if we could hear the voice of our
what if we could hear the voice of our inner critic as instructive rather than
inner critic as instructive rather than
inner critic as instructive rather than destructive I suggest that ending the
destructive I suggest that ending the
destructive I suggest that ending the war within is how we become unstoppable
war within is how we become unstoppable
war within is how we become unstoppable and a whole lot happier as a result so
and a whole lot happier as a result so
and a whole lot happier as a result so how exactly do we do that it’s with a
how exactly do we do that it’s with a
how exactly do we do that it’s with a strategy called naming it and reframing
strategy called naming it and reframing
strategy called naming it and reframing it it’s a cute little phrase so I’ll say
it it’s a cute little phrase so I’ll say
it it’s a cute little phrase so I’ll say it again naming it and reframing it and
it again naming it and reframing it and
it again naming it and reframing it and to show you how it works here’s an
to show you how it works here’s an
to show you how it works here’s an example when I got the invitation to
example when I got the invitation to
example when I got the invitation to speak here it triggered my inner critics
speak here it triggered my inner critics
speak here it triggered my inner critics favorite tale the one I like to call my
favorite tale the one I like to call my
favorite tale the one I like to call my I can’t do it story and it comes up like
I can’t do it story and it comes up like
I can’t do it story and it comes up like clockwork
clockwork
clockwork anytime I’m under pressure and it always
anytime I’m under pressure and it always
anytime I’m under pressure and it always questions if I have what it takes to
questions if I have what it takes to
questions if I have what it takes to succeed but when I call my stories out
succeed but when I call my stories out
succeed but when I call my stories out and name them
and name them
and name them it helps me realize that my inner critic
it helps me realize that my inner critic
it helps me realize that my inner critic is really a thought pattern it’s a habit
is really a thought pattern it’s a habit
is really a thought pattern it’s a habit not an evil force out to get me so when
not an evil force out to get me so when
not an evil force out to get me so when my critical voice does chime in I simply
my critical voice does chime in I simply
my critical voice does chime in I simply label it and say uh-huh there’s my I
label it and say uh-huh there’s my I
label it and say uh-huh there’s my I can’t do it story again that way I
can’t do it story again that way I
can’t do it story again that way I stopped the downward spiral and can
stopped the downward spiral and can
stopped the downward spiral and can respond in a healthy productive way
respond in a healthy productive way
respond in a healthy productive way using the second part of the strategy
using the second part of the strategy
using the second part of the strategy reframing it so when my inner critic
reframing it so when my inner critic
reframing it so when my inner critic asks what if you fail instead of trying
asks what if you fail instead of trying
asks what if you fail instead of trying to fight it off with positivity I
to fight it off with positivity I
to fight it off with positivity I embrace it I answer the question posed
embrace it I answer the question posed
embrace it I answer the question posed by myself doubt honestly at face value
by myself doubt honestly at face value
by myself doubt honestly at face value and with no malice psychologists call
and with no malice psychologists call
and with no malice psychologists call this type of reframing mental rehearsal
this type of reframing mental rehearsal
this type of reframing mental rehearsal and it’s actually really simple you come
and it’s actually really simple you come
and it’s actually really simple you come up with a plan so that if a problem
up with a plan so that if a problem
up with a plan so that if a problem arises you can spring into action by
arises you can spring into action by
arises you can spring into action by doing this my fear is no law
doing this my fear is no law
doing this my fear is no law longer a danger to me now I can make
longer a danger to me now I can make
longer a danger to me now I can make progress and tackle my concerns instead
progress and tackle my concerns instead
progress and tackle my concerns instead of getting stuck so yeah what if I fail
of getting stuck so yeah what if I fail
of getting stuck so yeah what if I fail what is the worst that could happen if I
what is the worst that could happen if I
what is the worst that could happen if I toppled over right here on stage how
toppled over right here on stage how
toppled over right here on stage how would I respond what would I do next
would I respond what would I do next
would I respond what would I do next well I would probably pick myself up off
well I would probably pick myself up off
well I would probably pick myself up off the ground dust myself off and tell you
the ground dust myself off and tell you
the ground dust myself off and tell you that there’s a reason I’ve been called
that there’s a reason I’ve been called
that there’s a reason I’ve been called klutzy mell since sixth grade which fun
klutzy mell since sixth grade which fun
klutzy mell since sixth grade which fun fact is absolutely true you can use this
fact is absolutely true you can use this
fact is absolutely true you can use this name it and reframe it strategy for
name it and reframe it strategy for
name it and reframe it strategy for moments as major as changing your career
moments as major as changing your career
moments as major as changing your career or as run-of-the-mill as meeting new
or as run-of-the-mill as meeting new
or as run-of-the-mill as meeting new people like at a TEDx event if you’re
people like at a TEDx event if you’re
people like at a TEDx event if you’re nervous about meeting new people today
nervous about meeting new people today
nervous about meeting new people today whether you’re worrying about saying the
whether you’re worrying about saying the
whether you’re worrying about saying the right things or being able to hold a
right things or being able to hold a
right things or being able to hold a conversation name that story maybe it’s
conversation name that story maybe it’s
conversation name that story maybe it’s the I’m too shy or the nobody cares
the I’m too shy or the nobody cares
the I’m too shy or the nobody cares about me story once you have a name for
about me story once you have a name for
about me story once you have a name for it the next time your inner critic
it the next time your inner critic
it the next time your inner critic starts telling you that story reframe it
starts telling you that story reframe it
starts telling you that story reframe it if it is the I’m too shy story forget
if it is the I’m too shy story forget
if it is the I’m too shy story forget the fake it till you make it
the fake it till you make it
the fake it till you make it approach and quit trying to be a
approach and quit trying to be a
approach and quit trying to be a talkative savvy networker instead
talkative savvy networker instead
talkative savvy networker instead reframe it by focusing on your strengths
reframe it by focusing on your strengths
reframe it by focusing on your strengths of being good listener and building
of being good listener and building
of being good listener and building relationships today by asking awesome
relationships today by asking awesome
relationships today by asking awesome interesting questions instead today we
interesting questions instead today we
interesting questions instead today we face more complicated problems than ever
face more complicated problems than ever
face more complicated problems than ever before in our lives in our communities
before in our lives in our communities
before in our lives in our communities and on an increasingly global scale we
and on an increasingly global scale we
and on an increasingly global scale we need all hands on deck we need you but
need all hands on deck we need you but
need all hands on deck we need you but you can’t do great things if you’re too
you can’t do great things if you’re too
you can’t do great things if you’re too busy running in circles battling the
busy running in circles battling the
busy running in circles battling the negative voices in your head so the next
negative voices in your head so the next
negative voices in your head so the next time somebody tells you to just be
time somebody tells you to just be
time somebody tells you to just be positive
positive
positive of remember your inner critic is there
of remember your inner critic is there
of remember your inner critic is there to protect you when you hear it’s voice
to protect you when you hear it’s voice
to protect you when you hear it’s voice listen to it quit making it your enemy
listen to it quit making it your enemy
listen to it quit making it your enemy use the name and reframe it strategy
use the name and reframe it strategy
use the name and reframe it strategy instead when you do that you put your
instead when you do that you put your
instead when you do that you put your inner critic to work for you and with it
inner critic to work for you and with it
inner critic to work for you and with it as your ally you become unstoppable
as your ally you become unstoppable
as your ally you become unstoppable thank you
”
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