so here’s the bad news dating is dead in fact many of the
dating is dead in fact many of the
dating is dead in fact many of the practices that we’ve grown accustomed to
practices that we’ve grown accustomed to
practices that we’ve grown accustomed to the ones that we’ve read about and
the ones that we’ve read about and
the ones that we’ve read about and watched on TV often fantasized about
watched on TV often fantasized about
watched on TV often fantasized about they don’t exist anymore so what does
they don’t exist anymore so what does
they don’t exist anymore so what does that mean for what is now America’s
that mean for what is now America’s
that mean for what is now America’s largest generation Millennials what does
largest generation Millennials what does
largest generation Millennials what does that mean for love what are my chances
that mean for love what are my chances
that mean for love what are my chances of finding love what does that mean for
of finding love what does that mean for
of finding love what does that mean for sex I mean listen Dayton is one-day sex
sex I mean listen Dayton is one-day sex
sex I mean listen Dayton is one-day sex is still alive right
is still alive right
is still alive right and if dating is dead then who’s the
and if dating is dead then who’s the
and if dating is dead then who’s the blame apparently me and not to point the
blame apparently me and not to point the
blame apparently me and not to point the finger many of you in the audience the
finger many of you in the audience the
finger many of you in the audience the Millennials
Millennials
Millennials they call us the hook-up generation if
they call us the hook-up generation if
they call us the hook-up generation if you google the words Millennials and
you google the words Millennials and
you google the words Millennials and dating together you’ll come up with all
dating together you’ll come up with all
dating together you’ll come up with all type of headlines the end of courtship
type of headlines the end of courtship
type of headlines the end of courtship the Millennials and their dating rules
the Millennials and their dating rules
the Millennials and their dating rules tender and the dawn of the dating
tender and the dawn of the dating
tender and the dawn of the dating apocalypse they really thought about
apocalypse they really thought about
apocalypse they really thought about that one now content like this is it
that one now content like this is it
that one now content like this is it without merit but it also isn’t an
without merit but it also isn’t an
without merit but it also isn’t an accurate reflection of the whole picture
accurate reflection of the whole picture
accurate reflection of the whole picture it’s more like alternative facts now
it’s more like alternative facts now
it’s more like alternative facts now unless you’ve been living off of the
unless you’ve been living off of the
unless you’ve been living off of the grid for say the past decade or so you
grid for say the past decade or so you
grid for say the past decade or so you do understand that yes sex is more
do understand that yes sex is more
do understand that yes sex is more accessible than it’s ever been and even
accessible than it’s ever been and even
accessible than it’s ever been and even with that being the case according to
with that being the case according to
with that being the case according to Pew Research we’re actually having less
Pew Research we’re actually having less
Pew Research we’re actually having less sex than any generation since our
sex than any generation since our
sex than any generation since our grandparents so grandma I wasn’t that
grandparents so grandma I wasn’t that
grandparents so grandma I wasn’t that fast after all
fast after all
fast after all they say that relationships have lost
they say that relationships have lost
they say that relationships have lost value amongst our generation and that we
value amongst our generation and that we
value amongst our generation and that we no longer want commitment but eight out
no longer want commitment but eight out
no longer want commitment but eight out of ten min lineal still say true romance
of ten min lineal still say true romance
of ten min lineal still say true romance is important so now that we’ve balanced
is important so now that we’ve balanced
is important so now that we’ve balanced the conversation a little bit what does
the conversation a little bit what does
the conversation a little bit what does the dating process look like for you or
the dating process look like for you or
the dating process look like for you or not today and going forward all of us
not today and going forward all of us
not today and going forward all of us here we’re in a unique position and that
here we’re in a unique position and that
here we’re in a unique position and that we’ve been able to live through
we’ve been able to live through
we’ve been able to live through transitions and evolutions as they’ve
transitions and evolutions as they’ve
transitions and evolutions as they’ve happened in real time we’ve gone from
happened in real time we’ve gone from
happened in real time we’ve gone from cassette tapes to CDs from CDs to
cassette tapes to CDs from CDs to
cassette tapes to CDs from CDs to streaming not only music with television
streaming not only music with television
streaming not only music with television my phone is essentially a computer that
my phone is essentially a computer that
my phone is essentially a computer that fits in my pocket and it affords me
fits in my pocket and it affords me
fits in my pocket and it affords me access to it seems like infinite
access to it seems like infinite
access to it seems like infinite information and if I’m being honest it’s
information and if I’m being honest it’s
information and if I’m being honest it’s that dynamic that spoiled me the need
that dynamic that spoiled me the need
that dynamic that spoiled me the need for instant results if my uber takes
for instant results if my uber takes
for instant results if my uber takes longer than five minutes I’m upset and
longer than five minutes I’m upset and
longer than five minutes I’m upset and I’ve seen that influenced other areas of
I’ve seen that influenced other areas of
I’ve seen that influenced other areas of my life including the way I did even
my life including the way I did even
my life including the way I did even down to the small things I can’t tell
down to the small things I can’t tell
down to the small things I can’t tell you how annoying it is to hear this
you how annoying it is to hear this
you how annoying it is to hear this thing actually ring every time somebody
thing actually ring every time somebody
thing actually ring every time somebody calls me it’s like hello are you dying
calls me it’s like hello are you dying
calls me it’s like hello are you dying hang up and text me and I know I’m not
hang up and text me and I know I’m not
hang up and text me and I know I’m not the only one
the only one
the only one and so electives that gives us another
and so electives that gives us another
and so electives that gives us another dynamic to deal with so how do we build
dynamic to deal with so how do we build
dynamic to deal with so how do we build relationships collectively we other
relationships collectively we other
relationships collectively we other interests in place we’re basically in
interests in place we’re basically in
interests in place we’re basically in the twilight zone of romance it’s called
the twilight zone of romance it’s called
the twilight zone of romance it’s called the gray area we meet people whether
the gray area we meet people whether
the gray area we meet people whether it’s at a lounge or through sending the
it’s at a lounge or through sending the
it’s at a lounge or through sending the DM or on a website we hang out whatever
DM or on a website we hang out whatever
DM or on a website we hang out whatever that means sometimes sex is involved and
that means sometimes sex is involved and
that means sometimes sex is involved and now we begin these relationships that we
now we begin these relationships that we
now we begin these relationships that we don’t call relationships because we
don’t call relationships because we
don’t call relationships because we don’t want to be in relationships but
don’t want to be in relationships but
don’t want to be in relationships but they feel like relationships because we
they feel like relationships because we
they feel like relationships because we do relationship things and now we are
do relationship things and now we are
do relationship things and now we are attached but at the same time fighting
attached but at the same time fighting
attached but at the same time fighting the state unattached it’s confusing and
the state unattached it’s confusing and
the state unattached it’s confusing and now we engulfed in these situations or
now we engulfed in these situations or
now we engulfed in these situations or with an on-call situation ships none of
with an on-call situation ships none of
with an on-call situation ships none of that is dating in fact nobody really
that is dating in fact nobody really
that is dating in fact nobody really knows what dating looks like at this
knows what dating looks like at this
knows what dating looks like at this point so I
point so I
point so I decided I’m gonna do a little research
decided I’m gonna do a little research
decided I’m gonna do a little research to find out what exactly people consider
to find out what exactly people consider
to find out what exactly people consider to be a former date these days found a
to be a former date these days found a
to be a former date these days found a few definitions the first I found in the
few definitions the first I found in the
few definitions the first I found in the answer section of Yahoo so it has to be
answer section of Yahoo so it has to be
answer section of Yahoo so it has to be true a casual day is when you wear
true a casual day is when you wear
true a casual day is when you wear regular clothes and a formal date well
regular clothes and a formal date well
regular clothes and a formal date well that’s when you dressed nicely makes
that’s when you dressed nicely makes
that’s when you dressed nicely makes sense then there was the answer I found
sense then there was the answer I found
sense then there was the answer I found on Yelp who knew Yelp gave the in device
on Yelp who knew Yelp gave the in device
on Yelp who knew Yelp gave the in device a user posted a real date begins by
a user posted a real date begins by
a user posted a real date begins by going over to a young lady’s house and
going over to a young lady’s house and
going over to a young lady’s house and talking to her parents about your
talking to her parents about your
talking to her parents about your intentions then getting a DNA swab so no
intentions then getting a DNA swab so no
intentions then getting a DNA swab so no one knows where the formal data is and
one knows where the formal data is and
one knows where the formal data is and you know that’s funny but it’s also
you know that’s funny but it’s also
you know that’s funny but it’s also proof that our dating habits have to
proof that our dating habits have to
proof that our dating habits have to evolve because life has evolved and
evolve because life has evolved and
evolve because life has evolved and generations passed potential couples
generations passed potential couples
generations passed potential couples would meet at the skating rink or at the
would meet at the skating rink or at the
would meet at the skating rink or at the school dance
school dance
school dance not too long ago when going on a date
not too long ago when going on a date
not too long ago when going on a date that was expected of me to drive to a
that was expected of me to drive to a
that was expected of me to drive to a young lady’s house and meet her at her
young lady’s house and meet her at her
young lady’s house and meet her at her front door today a date could be a 30
front door today a date could be a 30
front door today a date could be a 30 minute conversation at Starbucks or it
minute conversation at Starbucks or it
minute conversation at Starbucks or it could take place via Skype the internet
could take place via Skype the internet
could take place via Skype the internet age has redefined the way we meet and
age has redefined the way we meet and
age has redefined the way we meet and the way we communicate with people that
the way we communicate with people that
the way we communicate with people that does present us with a new set of
does present us with a new set of
does present us with a new set of challenges but it’s not the Internet’s
challenges but it’s not the Internet’s
challenges but it’s not the Internet’s fault it’s not tenders fault for tender
fault it’s not tenders fault for tender
fault it’s not tenders fault for tender takes the blame for everything the fact
takes the blame for everything the fact
takes the blame for everything the fact is the social rules for dating have
is the social rules for dating have
is the social rules for dating have always changed from one generation to
always changed from one generation to
always changed from one generation to the next today we have countless tools
the next today we have countless tools
the next today we have countless tools at our disposal that make many different
at our disposal that make many different
at our disposal that make many different aspects of life more efficient why
aspects of life more efficient why
aspects of life more efficient why should dating be exempt from that a more
should dating be exempt from that a more
should dating be exempt from that a more American single and waiting longer for
American single and waiting longer for
American single and waiting longer for commitment yes
commitment yes
commitment yes my generation included only 26% of adult
my generation included only 26% of adult
my generation included only 26% of adult Millennials are married but it is also
Millennials are married but it is also
Millennials are married but it is also true that technology has made the world
true that technology has made the world
true that technology has made the world smaller which makes our chances of
smaller which makes our chances of
smaller which makes our chances of meeting like-minded people greater than
meeting like-minded people greater than
meeting like-minded people greater than they’ve been in the past the key for us
they’ve been in the past the key for us
they’ve been in the past the key for us as we move forward is to remember that
as we move forward is to remember that
as we move forward is to remember that the tools that are at our disposal
the tools that are at our disposal
the tools that are at our disposal Facebook
Facebook Twitter Instagram snapchat tinder bumble
Twitter Instagram snapchat tinder bumble
Twitter Instagram snapchat tinder bumble match just to name a few
match just to name a few
match just to name a few they’re just tools they do help us to
they’re just tools they do help us to
they’re just tools they do help us to reach and connect the people but the job
reach and connect the people but the job
reach and connect the people but the job of creating meaningful and clearly
of creating meaningful and clearly
of creating meaningful and clearly defined relationships that job is still
defined relationships that job is still
defined relationships that job is still ours unfortunately there isn’t a
ours unfortunately there isn’t a
ours unfortunately there isn’t a standardized roadmap on how to find love
standardized roadmap on how to find love
standardized roadmap on how to find love as much as I wish it was there isn’t an
as much as I wish it was there isn’t an
as much as I wish it was there isn’t an app for it
app for it
app for it dating is no longer just an event or
dating is no longer just an event or
dating is no longer just an event or series of events dating in today’s world
series of events dating in today’s world
series of events dating in today’s world is a dual process the first part
is a dual process the first part
is a dual process the first part involves us finding someone that
involves us finding someone that
involves us finding someone that deserves our exclusive attention which
deserves our exclusive attention which
deserves our exclusive attention which requires that we be intentional and
requires that we be intentional and
requires that we be intentional and almost tedious in our attachments that
almost tedious in our attachments that
almost tedious in our attachments that we grow to be self-aware enough that we
we grow to be self-aware enough that we
we grow to be self-aware enough that we know who we are at our core which will
know who we are at our core which will
know who we are at our core which will help us to identify the best potential
help us to identify the best potential
help us to identify the best potential partner that we stay active and engage
partner that we stay active and engage
partner that we stay active and engage and don’t lose the art of being social
and don’t lose the art of being social
and don’t lose the art of being social which means we have to multitask and
which means we have to multitask and
which means we have to multitask and remember life shall also be lived
remember life shall also be lived
remember life shall also be lived offline the latter part of the dating
offline the latter part of the dating
offline the latter part of the dating process involves building a life with
process involves building a life with
process involves building a life with one person which means we have to make a
one person which means we have to make a
one person which means we have to make a choice even when it seems like we could
choice even when it seems like we could
choice even when it seems like we could swipe left or right for as long as we
swipe left or right for as long as we
swipe left or right for as long as we want
want
want because there’s unlimited options at our
because there’s unlimited options at our
because there’s unlimited options at our fingertips last year the number of
fingertips last year the number of
fingertips last year the number of social media users worldwide reached
social media users worldwide reached
social media users worldwide reached almost two billion people talk about
almost two billion people talk about
almost two billion people talk about options 2 billion people each of us
options 2 billion people each of us
options 2 billion people each of us right now can pull up our respective
right now can pull up our respective
right now can pull up our respective social media feeds and we’d see many
social media feeds and we’d see many
social media feeds and we’d see many people project and almost disdain for
people project and almost disdain for
people project and almost disdain for commitment we could just scroll our
commitment we could just scroll our
commitment we could just scroll our timeline we’d see all type of posts
timeline we’d see all type of posts
timeline we’d see all type of posts chase money not love no new friends I’m
chase money not love no new friends I’m
chase money not love no new friends I’m a savage
a savage
a savage people are really excited about being
people are really excited about being
people are really excited about being alone we could just observe current pop
alone we could just observe current pop
alone we could just observe current pop culture trends or listen to the most
culture trends or listen to the most
culture trends or listen to the most popular songs right now and yes
popular songs right now and yes
popular songs right now and yes entertaining
entertaining
entertaining we might even dance but we see much of
we might even dance but we see much of
we might even dance but we see much of the same attitude being reflected and
the same attitude being reflected and
the same attitude being reflected and even in the midst of all the noise we
even in the midst of all the noise we
even in the midst of all the noise we still can’t escape how we are wired as
still can’t escape how we are wired as
still can’t escape how we are wired as humans which is for companionship I’ll
humans which is for companionship I’ll
humans which is for companionship I’ll tell you a secret
tell you a secret
tell you a secret we can’t run from it I don’t know why I
we can’t run from it I don’t know why I
we can’t run from it I don’t know why I just whispered that but it is true
just whispered that but it is true
just whispered that but it is true Harvard University did a study that fits
Harvard University did a study that fits
Harvard University did a study that fits this conversation perfectly it took them
this conversation perfectly it took them
this conversation perfectly it took them over 75 years to complete but they
over 75 years to complete but they
over 75 years to complete but they discovered the number one correlation to
discovered the number one correlation to
discovered the number one correlation to long life meaningful connections you
long life meaningful connections you
long life meaningful connections you know this hit home for me about two
know this hit home for me about two
know this hit home for me about two years ago I was sitting in a University
years ago I was sitting in a University
years ago I was sitting in a University of Pennsylvania hospital room and I
of Pennsylvania hospital room and I
of Pennsylvania hospital room and I watched a doctor tell my dad that his
watched a doctor tell my dad that his
watched a doctor tell my dad that his fight with cancer was ending basically
fight with cancer was ending basically
fight with cancer was ending basically giving him a week to live you know he
giving him a week to live you know he
giving him a week to live you know he had this look on his face that even
had this look on his face that even
had this look on his face that even today I can’t quite articulate it but it
today I can’t quite articulate it but it
today I can’t quite articulate it but it was such an anxious ‘no sin the air it
was such an anxious ‘no sin the air it
was such an anxious ‘no sin the air it wasn’t until maybe a day or so later
wasn’t until maybe a day or so later
wasn’t until maybe a day or so later during one of my last conversations with
during one of my last conversations with
during one of my last conversations with him that i realize all these got a sense
him that i realize all these got a sense
him that i realize all these got a sense of some of what he was experiencing you
of some of what he was experiencing you
of some of what he was experiencing you know in those moments he wasn’t worried
know in those moments he wasn’t worried
know in those moments he wasn’t worried about all the things that i thought may
about all the things that i thought may
about all the things that i thought may like important he wasn’t even worried
like important he wasn’t even worried
like important he wasn’t even worried about life itself you know all he cared
about life itself you know all he cared
about life itself you know all he cared about with two things the people he
about with two things the people he
about with two things the people he loved and the people who loved him so
loved and the people who loved him so
loved and the people who loved him so let me leave you with this as a term
let me leave you with this as a term
let me leave you with this as a term dating is more fluid than it’s been in
dating is more fluid than it’s been in
dating is more fluid than it’s been in the past looks different
the past looks different
the past looks different feels different but as a process it’s
feels different but as a process it’s
feels different but as a process it’s stable and though we might experience
stable and though we might experience
stable and though we might experience some hiccups along the way we may go
some hiccups along the way we may go
some hiccups along the way we may go about it in some ways that seem
about it in some ways that seem
about it in some ways that seem unconventional at first if we would
unconventional at first if we would
unconventional at first if we would employ it and engage in it
employ it and engage in it
employ it and engage in it we could put ourselves in position to
we could put ourselves in position to
we could put ourselves in position to create relationships that have the
create relationships that have the
create relationships that have the capacity to increase our quality of life
capacity to increase our quality of life
capacity to increase our quality of life and that’s what dating is supposed to be
and that’s what dating is supposed to be
and that’s what dating is supposed to be about because that’s what life is about
about because that’s what life is about
about because that’s what life is about and sort of answer the question is
and sort of answer the question is
and sort of answer the question is dating dead only if we allow it to die
dating dead only if we allow it to die
dating dead only if we allow it to die thank you
thank you
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
”
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