good afternoon everybody how are you good just want to take a moment right
good just want to take a moment right
good just want to take a moment right now to kind of thank everybody behind
now to kind of thank everybody behind
now to kind of thank everybody behind the scenes everybody here involved with
the scenes everybody here involved with
the scenes everybody here involved with TEDx you guys are in a great job because
TEDx you guys are in a great job because
TEDx you guys are in a great job because of you were all here so thank you for
of you were all here so thank you for
of you were all here so thank you for that I’m here to talk about
that I’m here to talk about
that I’m here to talk about vulnerability and I’m here to talk about
vulnerability and I’m here to talk about
vulnerability and I’m here to talk about vulnerability as a way to change and as
vulnerability as a way to change and as
vulnerability as a way to change and as a way of finding transformation people
a way of finding transformation people
a way of finding transformation people ask me what I do and I have the hardest
ask me what I do and I have the hardest
ask me what I do and I have the hardest time answer that question and ultimately
time answer that question and ultimately
time answer that question and ultimately I think i’m a student of the human
I think i’m a student of the human
I think i’m a student of the human condition i’m really curious to know
condition i’m really curious to know
condition i’m really curious to know more about people and the reasons as to
more about people and the reasons as to
more about people and the reasons as to why they do the things that they do and
why they do the things that they do and
why they do the things that they do and everything that you see everything that
everything that you see everything that
everything that you see everything that we do i believe is involved in story and
we do i believe is involved in story and
we do i believe is involved in story and so as it pertains to vulnerability i
so as it pertains to vulnerability i
so as it pertains to vulnerability i think when we hear vulnerability we
think when we hear vulnerability we
think when we hear vulnerability we think of vulnerability as a negative
think of vulnerability as a negative
think of vulnerability as a negative thing we see it as a sign of weakness
thing we see it as a sign of weakness
thing we see it as a sign of weakness and we see it being exposed and being
and we see it being exposed and being
and we see it being exposed and being wounded is something that is not
wounded is something that is not
wounded is something that is not desirable but you know with the short
desirable but you know with the short
desirable but you know with the short time that I’ve been on this planet I
time that I’ve been on this planet I
time that I’ve been on this planet I realized that’s not necessarily the case
realized that’s not necessarily the case
realized that’s not necessarily the case I’m going to share three stories that
I’m going to share three stories that
I’m going to share three stories that kind of demonstrate how vulnerable he
kind of demonstrate how vulnerable he
kind of demonstrate how vulnerable he can lead to the opposite it can lead to
can lead to the opposite it can lead to
can lead to the opposite it can lead to something more desirable so I have this
something more desirable so I have this
something more desirable so I have this I’ve these note cards because you know
I’ve these note cards because you know
I’ve these note cards because you know I’m Afghan if you let me up here on
I’m Afghan if you let me up here on
I’m Afghan if you let me up here on stage I can talk for hours so this is
stage I can talk for hours so this is
stage I can talk for hours so this is gonna keep me on track and so first for
gonna keep me on track and so first for
gonna keep me on track and so first for us like to talk about my parents my
us like to talk about my parents my
us like to talk about my parents my parents are from Afghanistan I was born
parents are from Afghanistan I was born
parents are from Afghanistan I was born Afghanistan my father was taught by a
Afghanistan my father was taught by a
Afghanistan my father was taught by a Peace Corps volunteer in the 1960s in
Peace Corps volunteer in the 1960s in
Peace Corps volunteer in the 1960s in Kandahar when peace corps was first
Kandahar when peace corps was first
Kandahar when peace corps was first starting out and he learned English and
starting out and he learned English and
starting out and he learned English and eventually got to work with us aid in
eventually got to work with us aid in
eventually got to work with us aid in cobalt and then um as everybody knows in
cobalt and then um as everybody knows in
cobalt and then um as everybody knows in 1979 the Soviets invaded Afghanistan and
1979 the Soviets invaded Afghanistan and
1979 the Soviets invaded Afghanistan and so at that time my father was working
so at that time my father was working
so at that time my father was working for the soviet-backed Afghan government
for the soviet-backed Afghan government
for the soviet-backed Afghan government and one day he was given an ultimatum
and one day he was given an ultimatum
and one day he was given an ultimatum either you’re going to essentially adopt
either you’re going to essentially adopt
either you’re going to essentially adopt ideology or else so that night he comes
ideology or else so that night he comes
ideology or else so that night he comes home tells mom back up the bags were
home tells mom back up the bags were
home tells mom back up the bags were leaving and up into this point my mother
leaving and up into this point my mother
leaving and up into this point my mother never left her neighborhood in Kabul and
never left her neighborhood in Kabul and
never left her neighborhood in Kabul and so as my parents had to do they got on
so as my parents had to do they got on
so as my parents had to do they got on horseback took me my brother and went
horseback took me my brother and went
horseback took me my brother and went seven days and six nights from Kabul to
seven days and six nights from Kabul to
seven days and six nights from Kabul to Peshawar Pakistan and over the course of
Peshawar Pakistan and over the course of
Peshawar Pakistan and over the course of six days and seven days six nights my
six days and seven days six nights my
six days and seven days six nights my parents we hid under the cover of night
parents we hid under the cover of night
parents we hid under the cover of night and slept during the day in caves and
and slept during the day in caves and
and slept during the day in caves and villages along the way and we had to
villages along the way and we had to
villages along the way and we had to avoid gunships and you know death along
avoid gunships and you know death along
avoid gunships and you know death along the way but through the grace of God we
the way but through the grace of God we
the way but through the grace of God we eventually got to the refugee camp and
eventually got to the refugee camp and
eventually got to the refugee camp and pay shower where millions of other
pay shower where millions of other
pay shower where millions of other Afghans were spent two years in Pakistan
Afghans were spent two years in Pakistan
Afghans were spent two years in Pakistan and through the English that my father
and through the English that my father
and through the English that my father learned and the names that he became the
learned and the names that he became the
learned and the names that he became the people they became friends with he went
people they became friends with he went
people they became friends with he went to the consular office in Islamabad and
to the consular office in Islamabad and
to the consular office in Islamabad and the consular officer essentially checked
the consular officer essentially checked
the consular officer essentially checked his story out and we are granted
his story out and we are granted
his story out and we are granted political asylum to come the United
political asylum to come the United
political asylum to come the United States and we land in a small little
States and we land in a small little
States and we land in a small little place called Carlisle Pennsylvania in
place called Carlisle Pennsylvania in
place called Carlisle Pennsylvania in carlisle pennsylvania as you well know
carlisle pennsylvania as you well know
carlisle pennsylvania as you well know as you may know is not New York City and
as you may know is not New York City and
as you may know is not New York City and my parents expected to be landing in New
my parents expected to be landing in New
my parents expected to be landing in New York City I mean is it all of America
York City I mean is it all of America
York City I mean is it all of America like New York City you know tall
like New York City you know tall
like New York City you know tall buildings big screens money grows on
buildings big screens money grows on
buildings big screens money grows on trees the good life lo and behold that
trees the good life lo and behold that
trees the good life lo and behold that we realize the place that we landed
we realize the place that we landed
we realize the place that we landed represented MAF ganna stand more than
represented MAF ganna stand more than
represented MAF ganna stand more than represented the United States people add
represented the United States people add
represented the United States people add beards we live close to the Amish worlds
beards we live close to the Amish worlds
beards we live close to the Amish worlds of funny place so my parents start from
of funny place so my parents start from
of funny place so my parents start from scratch we had nothing with a group of
scratch we had nothing with a group of
scratch we had nothing with a group of people that supported us and taught my
people that supported us and taught my
people that supported us and taught my parents and taught us out to live again
parents and taught us out to live again
parents and taught us out to live again how to shop what tax is meant
how to shop what tax is meant
how to shop what tax is meant live and you know it’s a kid you don’t
live and you know it’s a kid you don’t
live and you know it’s a kid you don’t know any better you know you don’t know
know any better you know you don’t know
know any better you know you don’t know what’s good what’s wrong you essentially
what’s good what’s wrong you essentially
what’s good what’s wrong you essentially just are exposed to these different
just are exposed to these different
just are exposed to these different things and as a kid I didn’t know like
things and as a kid I didn’t know like
things and as a kid I didn’t know like we were starting from scratch until one
we were starting from scratch until one
we were starting from scratch until one day later on you know I realized I was
day later on you know I realized I was
day later on you know I realized I was 11 years old realize my parents this
11 years old realize my parents this
11 years old realize my parents this point we were doing ok and I’ll city
point we were doing ok and I’ll city
point we were doing ok and I’ll city living with my dad there’s a photo of
living with my dad there’s a photo of
living with my dad there’s a photo of his of his mom my grandmother on the
his of his mom my grandmother on the
his of his mom my grandmother on the table and as afghan men do we don’t
table and as afghan men do we don’t
table and as afghan men do we don’t really talk with each other about our
really talk with each other about our
really talk with each other about our feelings and so we’re just kind of
feelings and so we’re just kind of
feelings and so we’re just kind of joined the silence and I remember
joined the silence and I remember
joined the silence and I remember looking over my dad and he’s staring at
looking over my dad and he’s staring at
looking over my dad and he’s staring at this photo of his mother and he starts
this photo of his mother and he starts
this photo of his mother and he starts to cry and it was the first time i’ve
to cry and it was the first time i’ve
to cry and it was the first time i’ve ever seen my father cry and what’s
ever seen my father cry and what’s
ever seen my father cry and what’s really interesting about it is that
really interesting about it is that
really interesting about it is that simple moments can unravel people and in
simple moments can unravel people and in
simple moments can unravel people and in that moment I realized that
that moment I realized that
that moment I realized that vulnerability means mean strength so
vulnerability means mean strength so
vulnerability means mean strength so what’s interesting at our stories that
what’s interesting at our stories that
what’s interesting at our stories that it’s not unique refugees at that time
it’s not unique refugees at that time
it’s not unique refugees at that time and refugees to this day have similar
and refugees to this day have similar
and refugees to this day have similar stories and they flee and they fight and
stories and they flee and they fight and
stories and they flee and they fight and they and they survive but what is unique
they and they survive but what is unique
they and they survive but what is unique about our story is that after i
about our story is that after i
about our story is that after i graduated college you know we’re afghan
graduated college you know we’re afghan
graduated college you know we’re afghan we’re from asia pretty much had two
we’re from asia pretty much had two
we’re from asia pretty much had two options you know in terms of a
options you know in terms of a
options you know in terms of a professional is going to be a doctor or
professional is going to be a doctor or
professional is going to be a doctor or engineer and i wasn’t that right I
engineer and i wasn’t that right I
engineer and i wasn’t that right I wasn’t that at all I studied social
wasn’t that at all I studied social
wasn’t that at all I studied social sciences my parents to this day or like
sciences my parents to this day or like
sciences my parents to this day or like what did you study in college what is
what did you study in college what is
what did you study in college what is that how can use that can that get you a
that how can use that can that get you a
that how can use that can that get you a job and so what did I decide to do I
job and so what did I decide to do I
job and so what did I decide to do I decided to join the Peace Corps and I
decided to join the Peace Corps and I
decided to join the Peace Corps and I decided to do something different and I
decided to do something different and I
decided to do something different and I decided to
decided to
decided to [Music]
[Music]
[Music] give back and I joined the Peace Corps
give back and I joined the Peace Corps
give back and I joined the Peace Corps in 2005 but I didn’t know what to expect
in 2005 but I didn’t know what to expect
in 2005 but I didn’t know what to expect this is before Google and Facebook took
this is before Google and Facebook took
this is before Google and Facebook took over our lives and for smartphones or
over our lives and for smartphones or
over our lives and for smartphones or everywhere and so what’s beautiful about
everywhere and so what’s beautiful about
everywhere and so what’s beautiful about the Peace Corps is they essentially drop
the Peace Corps is they essentially drop
the Peace Corps is they essentially drop you off in your village and they say
you off in your village and they say
you off in your village and they say good luck have fun and I’m in the middle
good luck have fun and I’m in the middle
good luck have fun and I’m in the middle of Mozambique and most abuse a beautiful
of Mozambique and most abuse a beautiful
of Mozambique and most abuse a beautiful place and at the time I learned some
place and at the time I learned some
place and at the time I learned some Portuguese I could say hello how are you
Portuguese I could say hello how are you
Portuguese I could say hello how are you where’s the bathroom but not enough to
where’s the bathroom but not enough to
where’s the bathroom but not enough to really like you know make an impact and
really like you know make an impact and
really like you know make an impact and that was my idealistic perspective I
that was my idealistic perspective I
that was my idealistic perspective I wanted to make an impact and you know as
wanted to make an impact and you know as
wanted to make an impact and you know as a young person I thought to myself I’m
a young person I thought to myself I’m
a young person I thought to myself I’m gonna go to this community and I am
gonna go to this community and I am
gonna go to this community and I am going to change these people i am going
going to change these people i am going
going to change these people i am going to enlighten these people on how to live
to enlighten these people on how to live
to enlighten these people on how to live a better life how to live a Western life
a better life how to live a Western life
a better life how to live a Western life how to live in American life and all
how to live in American life and all
how to live in American life and all that changed when I got malaria the
that changed when I got malaria the
that changed when I got malaria the first time and so I get malaria and I’m
first time and so I get malaria and I’m
first time and so I get malaria and I’m not feeling well my body aches and
not feeling well my body aches and
not feeling well my body aches and things aren’t good i just know
things aren’t good i just know
things aren’t good i just know something’s up man what’s going on and
something’s up man what’s going on and
something’s up man what’s going on and so i end up going to the clinic and they
so i end up going to the clinic and they
so i end up going to the clinic and they do malaria test and it comes out
do malaria test and it comes out
do malaria test and it comes out positive so i started taking medication
positive so i started taking medication
positive so i started taking medication it cleansed this thing out of my body
it cleansed this thing out of my body
it cleansed this thing out of my body and set the clinic there are many many
and set the clinic there are many many
and set the clinic there are many many many people there in line waiting to get
many people there in line waiting to get
many people there in line waiting to get treat it up into that point people in my
treat it up into that point people in my
treat it up into that point people in my village saw me as a giver saw me as
village saw me as a giver saw me as
village saw me as a giver saw me as something or somebody that could give
something or somebody that could give
something or somebody that could give them something and I didn’t really have
them something and I didn’t really have
them something and I didn’t really have much to give you know I had a bag of
much to give you know I had a bag of
much to give you know I had a bag of clothes English that I could speak and
clothes English that I could speak and
clothes English that I could speak and then ideals that I believed then I
then ideals that I believed then I
then ideals that I believed then I didn’t have like money you know and so
didn’t have like money you know and so
didn’t have like money you know and so they would always come up to me being
they would always come up to me being
they would always come up to me being like teacher bak can I have this can I
like teacher bak can I have this can I
like teacher bak can I have this can I have that and I couldn’t give them what
have that and I couldn’t give them what
have that and I couldn’t give them what I’m you know what they wanted everything
I’m you know what they wanted everything
I’m you know what they wanted everything from Candida pencils to you know a BMW
from Candida pencils to you know a BMW
from Candida pencils to you know a BMW and one day like I said when I got
and one day like I said when I got
and one day like I said when I got malaria all that changed and slowly but
malaria all that changed and slowly but
malaria all that changed and slowly but surely it spread throughout the village
surely it spread throughout the village
surely it spread throughout the village that I gotten sick
that I gotten sick
that I gotten sick and people started coming to me in
and people started coming to me in
and people started coming to me in giving me food that they had and giving
giving me food that they had and giving
giving me food that they had and giving me cold that they essentially bought
me cold that they essentially bought
me cold that they essentially bought that I could use to make food start my
that I could use to make food start my
that I could use to make food start my meals and they gave me things that I’d
meals and they gave me things that I’d
meals and they gave me things that I’d never really really expected them to
never really really expected them to
never really really expected them to give me and it was amazing and slowly
give me and it was amazing and slowly
give me and it was amazing and slowly but surely that kept that that happened
but surely that kept that that happened
but surely that kept that that happened through the course of my experience and
through the course of my experience and
through the course of my experience and I realized that light that vulnerability
I realized that light that vulnerability
I realized that light that vulnerability meant acceptance and um it was a
meant acceptance and um it was a
meant acceptance and um it was a beautiful thing and now with facebook
beautiful thing and now with facebook
beautiful thing and now with facebook they still ping me over you know the
they still ping me over you know the
they still ping me over you know the Atlantic Ocean they still asked me for
Atlantic Ocean they still asked me for
Atlantic Ocean they still asked me for pencils and candy and things of that
pencils and candy and things of that
pencils and candy and things of that nature facebook so moreover in 2010 the
nature facebook so moreover in 2010 the
nature facebook so moreover in 2010 the surge was announced to go to Afghanistan
surge was announced to go to Afghanistan
surge was announced to go to Afghanistan and clear out Islamic radicalism and
and clear out Islamic radicalism and
and clear out Islamic radicalism and insurgents that country so when become a
insurgents that country so when become a
insurgents that country so when become a safe haven for al Qaeda or another
safe haven for al Qaeda or another
safe haven for al Qaeda or another Islamic terrorist group and so at that
Islamic terrorist group and so at that
Islamic terrorist group and so at that time was late my 20s and I thought to
time was late my 20s and I thought to
time was late my 20s and I thought to myself this is a perfect time to go back
myself this is a perfect time to go back
myself this is a perfect time to go back and serve again instead of serving in
and serve again instead of serving in
and serve again instead of serving in terms of instilling a sense of skill
terms of instilling a sense of skill
terms of instilling a sense of skill liking it for example the peace quals I
liking it for example the peace quals I
liking it for example the peace quals I was an English teacher in Afghanistan I
was an English teacher in Afghanistan I
was an English teacher in Afghanistan I was 10 she was an interpreter and it was
was 10 she was an interpreter and it was
was 10 she was an interpreter and it was the best experience of my life in many
the best experience of my life in many
the best experience of my life in many ways and the reason why is because I got
ways and the reason why is because I got
ways and the reason why is because I got to take two worlds that were so
to take two worlds that were so
to take two worlds that were so different from one another ideologically
different from one another ideologically
different from one another ideologically emotionally culturally geographically
emotionally culturally geographically
emotionally culturally geographically and bring them together and I think
and bring them together and I think
and bring them together and I think about that experience to this day and I
about that experience to this day and I
about that experience to this day and I think to myself I’ve never been so
think to myself I’ve never been so
think to myself I’ve never been so valued in a role then I was then and I
valued in a role then I was then and I
valued in a role then I was then and I flourished and I loved it I stayed there
flourished and I loved it I stayed there
flourished and I loved it I stayed there for three years um I want to tell you
for three years um I want to tell you
for three years um I want to tell you about one individual’s name is Posey and
about one individual’s name is Posey and
about one individual’s name is Posey and he was a quintessential soldier he was
he was a quintessential soldier he was
he was a quintessential soldier he was an Afghan commando and everywhere you
an Afghan commando and everywhere you
an Afghan commando and everywhere you went he he had this air of just
went he he had this air of just
went he he had this air of just confidence
confidence
confidence and people just followed him he had five
and people just followed him he had five
and people just followed him he had five sons he was the kind of guy who taught
sons he was the kind of guy who taught
sons he was the kind of guy who taught me a lesson used the kind of guy that
me a lesson used the kind of guy that
me a lesson used the kind of guy that did one thing at a time because he said
did one thing at a time because he said
did one thing at a time because he said if you do too many things at a time
if you do too many things at a time
if you do too many things at a time nothing will ever get done and to
nothing will ever get done and to
nothing will ever get done and to demonstrate that point why we while we
demonstrate that point why we while we
demonstrate that point why we while we were eating he wouldn’t speak he would
were eating he wouldn’t speak he would
were eating he wouldn’t speak he would simply eat thought that took amazing
simply eat thought that took amazing
simply eat thought that took amazing control one day we’re on a mission in a
control one day we’re on a mission in a
control one day we’re on a mission in a village and bought key switches in
village and bought key switches in
village and bought key switches in northwestern Afghanistan and he was
northwestern Afghanistan and he was
northwestern Afghanistan and he was leading a platoon we’re all there or
leading a platoon we’re all there or
leading a platoon we’re all there or clearing this village and we find some
clearing this village and we find some
clearing this village and we find some Taliban insurgents and we’re cornering
Taliban insurgents and we’re cornering
Taliban insurgents and we’re cornering them and we’re going after them and he’s
them and we’re going after them and he’s
them and we’re going after them and he’s leading the charge and I remember
leading the charge and I remember
leading the charge and I remember standing on a little hill looking down
standing on a little hill looking down
standing on a little hill looking down palsies in front leading this charge and
palsies in front leading this charge and
palsies in front leading this charge and he’s standing behind a wall and he
he’s standing behind a wall and he
he’s standing behind a wall and he stands up and puts his head right above
stands up and puts his head right above
stands up and puts his head right above the wall and a bullet hits him in the
the wall and a bullet hits him in the
the wall and a bullet hits him in the head interpreter interpreter I go
head interpreter interpreter I go
head interpreter interpreter I go running down and by the time I get there
running down and by the time I get there
running down and by the time I get there the medics trying to work work on him
the medics trying to work work on him
the medics trying to work work on him essentially revive him and I’m standing
essentially revive him and I’m standing
essentially revive him and I’m standing there in the blood and the horror and
there in the blood and the horror and
there in the blood and the horror and the bullet went right through his eye
the bullet went right through his eye
the bullet went right through his eye and it just they killed him and in that
and it just they killed him and in that
and it just they killed him and in that moment I realized the vulnerability
means to be alive right and so that
means to be alive right and so that experience being in Afghanistan changed
experience being in Afghanistan changed
experience being in Afghanistan changed my life and I came back and I decided to
my life and I came back and I decided to
my life and I came back and I decided to get into documentary filmmaking and
get into documentary filmmaking and
get into documentary filmmaking and documenting people’s stories and I think
documenting people’s stories and I think
documenting people’s stories and I think it’s really important to do that because
it’s really important to do that because
it’s really important to do that because that’s all we have everybody here in
that’s all we have everybody here in
that’s all we have everybody here in this room has a story everybody here has
this room has a story everybody here has
this room has a story everybody here has been vulnerable and these small moments
been vulnerable and these small moments
been vulnerable and these small moments people are being vulnerable to you and I
people are being vulnerable to you and I
people are being vulnerable to you and I think that’s the first place in which we
think that’s the first place in which we
think that’s the first place in which we can essentially take a step closer to
can essentially take a step closer to
can essentially take a step closer to the other
the idea that I essentially want to get
the idea that I essentially want to get across here today is that seek
across here today is that seek
across here today is that seek vulnerability it’s not a sign of
vulnerability it’s not a sign of
vulnerability it’s not a sign of weakness it’s a place where we can learn
weakness it’s a place where we can learn
weakness it’s a place where we can learn it’s a place where we can feel connected
it’s a place where we can feel connected
it’s a place where we can feel connected and ultimately that’s what we all want
and ultimately that’s what we all want
and ultimately that’s what we all want to do we all want to feel connected with
to do we all want to feel connected with
to do we all want to feel connected with one another we’re designed to be that
one another we’re designed to be that
one another we’re designed to be that way and if we’re connected with one
way and if we’re connected with one
way and if we’re connected with one another will become more present and I
another will become more present and I
another will become more present and I believe we’re more present will be more
believe we’re more present will be more
believe we’re more present will be more happy we’re not that much time on this
happy we’re not that much time on this
happy we’re not that much time on this planet enjoy it while you can life is a
planet enjoy it while you can life is a
planet enjoy it while you can life is a fragile thing it really is some people
fragile thing it really is some people
fragile thing it really is some people say that piece starts with suffering
say that piece starts with suffering
say that piece starts with suffering I’ve heard others say that freedom
I’ve heard others say that freedom
I’ve heard others say that freedom starts with confinement or that strength
starts with confinement or that strength
starts with confinement or that strength strength starts with surrender or even
strength starts with surrender or even
strength starts with surrender or even that courage starts with fear but I say
that courage starts with fear but I say
that courage starts with fear but I say that change starts with vulnerability
that change starts with vulnerability
that change starts with vulnerability thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
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