Gaboon Adder vs. Rat | National Geographic

so you want to be a gaboon adder well

so you want to be a gaboon adder well first of all you’ll have to move to the

first of all you’ll have to move to the

first of all you’ll have to move to the rainforest in the equatorial belt of

rainforest in the equatorial belt of

rainforest in the equatorial belt of tropical Africa your thick six foot long

tropical Africa your thick six foot long

tropical Africa your thick six foot long body will sport beautiful geometric

body will sport beautiful geometric

body will sport beautiful geometric patterns perfect for blending in on the

patterns perfect for blending in on the

patterns perfect for blending in on the forest floor and as you age you’ll grow

forest floor and as you age you’ll grow

forest floor and as you age you’ll grow a pair of decorative horn like scales

a pair of decorative horn like scales

a pair of decorative horn like scales from your snout you’re a passive hunter

from your snout you’re a passive hunter

from your snout you’re a passive hunter able to sit perfectly still until your

able to sit perfectly still until your

able to sit perfectly still until your next meal arrives a scent of fresh rat

next meal arrives a scent of fresh rat

next meal arrives a scent of fresh rat brings you to full alert your prey

brings you to full alert your prey

brings you to full alert your prey spends its last moments blissfully

spends its last moments blissfully

spends its last moments blissfully unaware of your presence

you’re efficient accurate and deadly

you’re efficient accurate and deadly your victim makes a run for it but it

your victim makes a run for it but it

your victim makes a run for it but it doesn’t stand a chance as if it were a

doesn’t stand a chance as if it were a

doesn’t stand a chance as if it were a match for the likes of a gaboon adder

match for the likes of a gaboon adder

match for the likes of a gaboon adder like yourself all you have to do is

like yourself all you have to do is

like yourself all you have to do is follow the scent trail of your mortally

follow the scent trail of your mortally

follow the scent trail of your mortally wounded rain

wounded rain

wounded rain you wait until your meal is completely

you wait until your meal is completely

you wait until your meal is completely inert I mean what’s the point of getting

inert I mean what’s the point of getting

inert I mean what’s the point of getting bitten for nothing your venom has

bitten for nothing your venom has

bitten for nothing your venom has already started the eating process by

already started the eating process by

already started the eating process by jesting the rats

jesting the rats

jesting the rats tissues from the inside out now here’s

tissues from the inside out now here’s

tissues from the inside out now here’s where you stand out in the pantheon of

where you stand out in the pantheon of

where you stand out in the pantheon of snake t’en as you ingest your booty you

snake t’en as you ingest your booty you

snake t’en as you ingest your booty you reveal the most impressive bags of any

reveal the most impressive bags of any

reveal the most impressive bags of any snake in the world

snake in the world

snake in the world two inches long and capable of flicking

two inches long and capable of flicking

two inches long and capable of flicking open like switchblades to draw the rat

open like switchblades to draw the rat

open like switchblades to draw the rat into your body like a lot of your

into your body like a lot of your

into your body like a lot of your serpentine counterparts you unhinge your

serpentine counterparts you unhinge your

serpentine counterparts you unhinge your jaw so you can swallow the rat in one

jaw so you can swallow the rat in one

jaw so you can swallow the rat in one gigantic gulp you inject massive amounts

gigantic gulp you inject massive amounts

gigantic gulp you inject massive amounts of venom more than any other snake alive

of venom more than any other snake alive

of venom more than any other snake alive and enough to kill a human but you

and enough to kill a human but you

and enough to kill a human but you rarely do that swallowing a rat is one

rarely do that swallowing a rat is one

rarely do that swallowing a rat is one thing but a human – huh heartburn City

thing but a human – huh heartburn City

thing but a human – huh heartburn City nope you’ll stick with rats but tail the

nope you’ll stick with rats but tail the

nope you’ll stick with rats but tail the best part